• Courtney Love "went nuts" when a guest at a party opened an unlocked bathroom and saw her on the toilet with her skirt around her ankles.

Apparently she launched herself at the dude, and though people tried to calm her down, a security guy told the man: "It's best you get away as fast as possible." [Page Six]

• Backstage at the Emmys, Paramedics were called for Kristin Chenoweth, who complained of a migraine headache and then said she couldn't open her eyes. [Access Hollywood]
• More backstage Emmys drama: A fight between Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff got "kind of loud." Apparently they were "screaming at each other"after he said she took too long in hair and makeup. [E!]
• Mad Men and 30 Rock were big winners at the Emmys last night. [NY Daily News]
• Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs won the weekend box office; Jennifer Aniston's Love Happens came in fourth — one of her worst openings in years — and Jennifer's Body placed fifth. [Ny Daily News]
• "Mr. T's Chance of Meatballs character fits him to a T." [USA Today]
• Kate Gosselin taped her Mom Logic TV show pilot over the weekend, and even though guests Mel B and Christie Brinkley were nixed, a source says the taping "went extremely well" and "Kate did great." [Radar]
• Congrats! Zooey Deschanel married Death Cab For Cutie singer Ben Gibbard Saturday night near Seattle. [People]
• Did you know that Susan Sarandon has been a member of a Ping-Pong society for years? [NY Magazine]
• From a profile on Madonna: "Scented Christian Dior candles fill the air in a space so dimly lit, it seems both slightly theatrical and quasi-religious. A huge telephone with multiple extensions bears labels such as M study, M dressing room, M bathroom, Laundry, Music Room, Kitchen, Mews." And: "A lot of people are just really confused by me… They don't know what to think of me, so they try to compartmentalize me or diminish me. Maybe they just feel unsafe. But any time you have an overtly emotional or irrational, negative reaction to something, you're fearing something that it's bringing up in you." [Times Of London]
• Paula Abdul almost refused to co-present with Kathy Griffin at the VH1 Divas concert because of all the insulting jokes Kathy had made. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse was leaving a nightclub recently when a passerby shouted "Oi Amy, where's your crack pipe?" [The Sun]
• Heidi Klum and Seal can't decide on a name for the baby girl they are expecting. Seal says: "It has been the topic of debate for the last month. We can't quite figure it out. I'm a firm believer that she will pop out and will tell us what she wants to be called." [Mirror]
• Charlize Theron's nude scene in The Burning Plain — in which she smokes a cigarette while standing at a window in full view of passersby in Portland, OR — was shot at 6 a.m. to avoid paparazzi. [Page Six]
• Oprah had a block party in Chicago and paid more than $54,000 for city services. [Ny Post]
• Joy Behar would love to get Sarah Palin on her new show on HLN and talk to her about the "real America." "It's insulting to men like my father, who fought in World War II, whom she doesn't think are real Americans because we don't agree with her." Joy also says: "Look, it's not that I'm contentious; I'm uncompromising. I'm friendly, but I can't let things go unchallenged. And I intend to give my opinions quite profusely. I might even have to interrupt myself." [New York Magazine]
• New couple? Kid Cudi and Amanda Bynes??? [Gatecrasher]
• They're saying Mischa Barton's a mess in the morning and needs someone to "fix" her coffee, but who isn't and who doesn't? [Page Six]
• So what is up with that Taylor Momsen record contract that allows her singing on Gossip Girl and the "Runaways Project"? She's not in the Runaways movie! Was she was supposed to get Dakota Fanning's part? Or does she have a secret cameo? [TMZ]
• Beth Ditto has banned her girlfriend from touring with her: "[It's] not because I don't think she can handle it, but because that's my life. Say what you want about me. Say it to my face, say it behind my back, write it on the fucking bathroom mirror, I don't care. But do not talk about the people I love. I will lose my mind." [NME]
• An ambulance was called to David Hasselhoff's house yesterday; apparently his 17-year-old daughter, who was home with him, called her mother, saying that David was extremely drunk. A friend of Pamela's called 911. [TMZ, TMZ]
• January Jones, aka Mad Men's Betty Draper, has purchased a lovely home in the Los Feliz neighborhood of L.A., and you can see the pix at the link. [The Real Estalker]
• The Guinness World Records board has refused to let the White Stripes into their record book for playing a one-note concert, due to insufficient interest. Twelve hundred people showed up to a gig in Canada where Jack White played an E. [Mirror]
• Stephen Moyer on his engagement to Anna Paquin: "It was very intimate and quite surprising for her, I think, and we were by ourselves at dinner in Hawaii and...I surprised her. But it was something that surprised me probably more than it surprised her." He also says: "She is very funny and very frank and very direct and beautiful… She doesn't take any of my nonsense." [E!]
• David Arquette and Ben Harper have a clothing line called Propr, and Arquette says: ""We love the idea of chivalry and going in an old-school barber… There's a quality that's in the finer details, like they really thought it out a step further." More from "A Night Out" with the duo at the link. [NY Times]
• Ryan O'Neal visited Farrah Fawcett's grave after their son, Redmond, was ordered to leave jail and go to rehab for a year. [Daily Mail, USA Today]
• Nicole's sister Antonia Kidman is engaged to Singapore-based banker Craig Marran. [News.com.au]
• Terry Gilliam got Johnny Depp to tango for The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus even though Johnny allegedly said "Men don't dance." [Mirror]
• Oy: Sacha Baron Cohen will play an Israeli tour guide on The Simpsons. [UPI]
• From a piece on John Malkovich's new film, Disgrace, set in post-apartheid South Africa: "[Malkovich's character] Lurie appears the virtual embodiment of white male arrogance, an English professor who views himself through the prism of Romantic poetry and who pursues an exploitive, obsessive affair with a much younger, mixed-race student. You can't say that he rapes her, but the issue of consent between an inexperienced young woman and a practiced seducer — one with direct power over her academic future — is complicated, to say the least." [Salon]
• Will Diddy switch record labels? [Page Six]
• Scott Weiland had a seizure on a plane while en route from Los Angeles to Florida, causing the plane to land in Dallas-Fort Worth; he is "doing great" now. [E!]
• Larry King hates frivolous lawsuits. [TMZ]
• John Travolta may be a witness at the trial for two people accused of trying to extort $25 million from him after his son died in the Bahamas. [AP]
• John Travolta says if he is called to testify, he will do so. [ET]
• Sources say John Travolta's testimony will be dramatic and emotional. [TMZ]
• Ozzy Osbourne's new memoir describes appearing on the MTV show The Osbournes as "terrifying" and like being "strapped to a rocket and being blasted through the stratosphere at warp factor ten." [Mirror]
• Leonard Cohen is recovering after collapsing on stage during a show in Spain; he reportedly had food poisoning. [UPI]
• James Blunt is accusing internet service providers of "handling stolen goods" by allowing file sharing and illegal downloads. [Telegraph]
• Anoushka Shankar, Ravi Shankar's daughter, had been the victim of a blackmail plot; an arrest has been made. [Independent]
• District 9 is not welcome in Nigeria. [NY Post]
• "Frustrated cops probing Jordan's claim to have been raped by a celebrity said yesterday they could do no more unless she co-operates." [The Sun]
• "You're not going to be successful. You're not going to be millionaires (with the exception of MAYBE Kris and Adam). No one will care about you. Those fans who've been asking for your autograph all tour long - 98 percent of them don't give a flying poo about you once next season of Idol starts. In other words, your days of being a star are over. But that's all right - so are mine… The music business, for the most part, will treat you like an outsider… You are just a game show contestant who still needs to prove why you should be here. Move to a music city. L.A., New York or Nashville Leave home and live WAY below your means." — Chris Sligh, former American Idol contestant, to other Idol singers, on his blog. [NY Post]
• "I was never in the high, high fashion industry. I was never one of those superskinny, supertall waif girls who goes from show to show. When you do more commercial things, your weight is allowed to fluctuate a bit. Not every inch counts. It's hard for the girls. How old are they? Fifteen, 16? Some girls are naturally thin and can eat whatever they want. When I was 15, 16, there was not one ounce of fat on me, but some other girls have to work hard to stay like that. But the rules are not made by the models. To be part of this, they have to be the size the designer wants them to be. I'm not that skinny, and I never was, but I can pretty much eat whatever I want." — Heidi Klum. [Page Six Magazine]
• "My dream was always to work in a candy store. It was because of my obsession with candy; I don't have it any more, now that my teeth are all rotten. I did go to a university for a year, as shocking as that might sound to people, and there was a candy shop that I used to go to all the time, an old-fashioned one where all the candy was in these big glass jars. I used to go in there and look at all the candy and think, ‘God, it would be really cool to work in here; I could have candy whenever I wanted.' So I did want the keys to the candy store, but I had different keys." —Madonna. [Times of London]
• "At first, I didn't know whether I'd be healthy enough to film a full season of an action-packed drama series. But soon I realized there was nothing I wanted to do more. We got in touch with the network to let them know about my diagnosis and I sent this message: 'Don't count me out. I can do this.' All I could think was: 'If I'm going out, I'd rather go out on a high note, doing quality work I believe in.'" — From Patrick Swayze's memoir, on doing The Beast with a cancer diagnosis. [Daily Mail]
• "We need to be the example of respect, of tolerance, and just how to be civil, can we do that? Even though I didn't win the crown that night I know that the Lord has so much of a bigger crown in heaven for me. I never asked to be thrown into politics… but you know what, I'm proud of the stance that I took and I'm glad that God upheld me for such a time as this." — Carrie Prejean. [NY Daily News]
• "Forget about playing Tony Blair. When I told her I was definitely playing vampire Aro in Twilight, she cried. She was so overwhelmed and annoyed that I muscled in on something that was hers. She's already told me she'll be my date for the premiere." — Michael Sheen's 10-year-old daughter, Lily is excited about his career for once. [Page Six]

• To start this Memorial Day weekend, here's a picture of Robert Pattinson with his arm around a pretty blonde that is probably making the girl I saw wearing a "Team Edward" t-shirt yesterday cry. [ShowbizSpy]

• The mystery woman is apparently Erika Dutra, who was "was introduced to Robert by a mutual friend at the beginning of the night and he was smitten with her from that point on," according to a source, "He took pictures of her, sat with her all night, and the two of them were even seen kissing! There was serious chemistry between them, and they looked like they were having an amazing time." Related: sales of Erika Dutra voodoo dolls have shot up 999% in Hot Topic stores across the country. [Life&Style]
• "I just want to become a traditional old man with a beer belly. I'd like to be sitting on the veranda of our place in France, just staring out over the lawns." -Johnny Depp [ShowbizSpy]
• Charges will be dropped against Kiefer Sutherland as he has reached an agreement with the designer he headbutted at a Met Gala after-party earlier this month. [USWeekly]
• Blind Item: "Which once-hot pop star can barely sing a note and needs mucho enhancement in the studio, getting help from a songwriter who's also vocally stepped in for that working-class rock band? Similarly, which famous young lady actually does the singing for her more famous sister?" [BlindGossip]
• When Kate Moss goes camping, it's called "glamping." [DailyMail]
• "If I went to a psychiatrist, it would be a long session,' he says. 'I've always thought that I do have a number of issues that probably need dealing with, because I am quite odd in some ways. I get very dark moods for no reason. "- Simon Cowell [DailyMail]
• Wondering if your favorite television show got canceled? Here's a nice rundown of shows that didn't make it. [Yahoo]
• Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, who went through a fairly nasty public divorce, have dined together since, for the sake of their children: "Believe it or not, we had dinner together with all of us," Richards says, "So I love that... It's important for our daughters to see us get along and to be able to be in the same room." [USWeekly]
• Hayden Panettiere was spotted frolicking on a yacht with James Blunt. When asked for comment, James Blunt pulled out a guitar and sang, "My life is brilliant, blah blah blah blah." Not really. But still. [DailyMail]
• "It's so important to have hobbies and girlfriends, and not know people that work in Hollywood. It's a sanity thing; it keeps you sane. I was playing soccer and I joined a kickball league. That's way more interesting to me than going to some party."-Jessica Biel [ShowbizSpy]
• "There'll be a whole new generation that has to be trained and a leader that you'll all love when you meet her. There'll be lots of cadets, boys and girls who'll be learning how to use the neuron splitter and the inter-planet interceptor - new tools to enable them to slip from dimension to dimension."- Dan Aykroyd on Ghostbusters 3. [Guardian]
• Employees at the hotel where Mariah Carey recently stayed during the Cannes Film Festival were ordered to decorate her room with Hello Kitty decor to "help her feel at home." [DailyMail]
• "I was told for a very long time that I was not pretty enough, too strange, not edgy enough. But I've always been famous, it is just that nobody knew."-Lady GaGa [ONTD]
• "There's always a sense of Andy Warhol whenever we make a Black Eyed Peas album. It's an artistic factory with several rooms going at the same time. We don't just sit down. We jump from room to room, all of us adding ideas to the recipe. If you get burned out on one idea or your ears get tired, you walk to another room and step into a whole fresh creative zone for more ideas."- Fergie [Reuters]
• Elizabeth Taylor has "fallen in love" with Twitter and is reportedly tweeting from her hospital bed. [NYTimes]
• In other Twitter news, Heidi Montag sent a tweet to Miley Cyrus that read: "Yeah we can't wait to go to church with you!! We need extra Jesus time before we leave for the Jungle for I'm a Celebrity."[EW]
• Mark-Paul Gosselaar is proud of his Saved By The Bell days: "That image will stay with me for my entire career," he says, "But I'm not looking to shed the persona of Zack. I'm proud of the work I did." Friends forever! With you everywhere! Talkin' bout friends forever! Always will be there, we'll be there! [JustJared]

[London, December 17. Image via Flynet]

• There was a lot of buzz about Brangelina meeting up with Jennifer Aniston at a pre-Oscars party, but Brad and Angie skipped the bash! No showcase showdown... Yet. [Mirror]
  
• Angelina and Brad are "very very happy" about her pregnancy. Did you see her belly? [People]
  
• Has Jennifer Aniston "put her eggs on ice"??? A source says she's frozen some eggs and is "waiting for Mr. Right." [MSNBC]
  
• Oscar winners: No Country For Old Men, Daniel Day-Lewis, Tilda Swinton, Marion Cotillard, Javier Bardem. [People]
  
• Rumer Willis at a pre-Oscars event: "Don't you know who my mum is!?" [Mirror]

• Britney saw her kids on Saturday! It was the first time since January 3. The boys were driven to her house by Kevin Federline's bodyguard; Brit's dad and a psychiatrist were present for the visit (and must be there for every visit.) [TMZ]
• After the three hour visit with her sons, Britney went to a steakhouse with her dad. [People]
• Christina Aguilera threw a "massive tantrum" after her People magazine baby cover sold poorly. She's fired her PR firm, manager and assistant. Meanwhile, J. Lo and her new babies have a deal with People now. Oooh, and People will reveal the names of Jennifer's twins. [The Sun]
• Um, is Paris Hilton dating Benji Madden? The way her old best friend Nicole Richie is with Joel Madden? [The Sun]
• Paris and Benji are "really into each other," a source says. [Perez Hilton]
• Hugh Grant is backing Marie Curie nurses in the memory of his mother, who died of pancreatic cancer. [Telegraph]
• Vanessa Williams hearts Botox: "It's a miracle drug - no cutting, nothing. I love it!" Well, she couldn't be Wilhelmina Slater without it. [The Sun]
• TV chef Rocco DiSpirito showed up at a an Oscar party with Tracey Edmonds, who had a "wedding" to Eddie Murphy on New Year's Day but is now dating Giants superstar Michael Strahan. Meanwhile, Sean Penn showed up at an event with model Petra Nemcova. [Page Six]
• Has Kim Cattrall been bragging about how much she got paid to be in the Sex And The City movie? [Page Six]
• Keith Urban was seen eating alone at the Four Seasons Hotel a few hours before the Oscars. Think Nicole was getting her hair did? [Page Six]
• Britney Spears' former assistant Alli Sims: Releasing an album? WTF? [Page Six]
• In their heyday, Motley Crue's Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx held a competition where they went months without out bathing and still managed to get groupies to have sex with them. Then there was "The Spaghetti Incident," involving a young fan, a blowjob, and puke. Good morning! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which Oscars golden girl made her celebrity ex-boyfriend pretend to still be in a relationship with her months after they broke up, because she was afraid a split would look bad for her Academy Award campaign? It worked, and they discreetly separated months later." [Gatecrasher]
• Is Sean "Diddy" Combs moving to Hollywood? "It's been a dream of mine to have a serious acting career," he says. [Rush & Molloy]
• Dog The Bounty Hunter's son Tucker: Busted! He's in jail for violating multiple terms of his parole — aka drug use. [TMZ]
• Sarah Silverman announced she was "Fucking Matt Damon"; now her boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel is "Fucking Ben Affleck." Brad Pitt, Don Cheadle, Ashlee Simpson, Robin Williams, Josh Groban and Harrison Ford are among the celebs who make an appearance in Kimmel's video. [People
• Will Smith got an "academy" award: From the cadets at the U.S. Military Academy in West Point, N.Y. His character in I Am Legend personifies West Point leadership qualities or something. [Miami Herald]
• Daniel Radciffe, aka Harry Potter, has won a prize for his naked Equus pix. [The Sun]
• Prince WIlliam and Kate Middleton: On hold? Sources say Wills is trying to concentrate on his military training, sigh. [News Of The World]
• Gwyneth Paltrow says hubby Chris Martin sings lullabies to the kids to put them to sleep. Coldplay makes us drowsy, too. [Daily Express]
• Amy Winehouse sent her "incarcerated!" hubby Blake Fielder-Civil a photograph of herself wearing only a sailor hat and a "tiny cloth over her breasts." Hopefully he won't trade it for smack. [Mirror]
• James Blunt: Back with the woman he wrote "You're Beautiful" for? [Mirror]
• Alicia Keys has laryngitis. Get well! [AP]
• Lindsay Lohan's I Know Who Killed Me raked in awards at The Razzies: Worst actress, worst screenplay, etc. Congrats! [Ap]
• Rihanna is helping a leukemia patient find a bone marrow donor? [AP]
• Snoop Dogg caught with weed outside of a New York club? [Gothamist]

• (Photoshop of) Horrors! It's Drew Barrymore on the March Vogue and something just does not look right. [Just Jared]
  
• You won't be seeing Lily Allen in her underwear anytime soon: the rumors about her being the latest face of Agent Provocateur are allegedly BS. [Sassybella]
  
• The Gap's spring advertising campaign features Coco Rocha, Anja Rubik and other top models. Think this will finally be the advertising campaign that convinces everyone to start buying their crappy clothes again? [Sassybella]
  
• Because the Oscars are actually on (thanks WGA!), the WWD reports that all the big celebs are already headed out to Hollywood to primp for Sunday night — you know it takes a week of preparation for these things — meaning the biggest celebs that can be wrangled for the front row of the Milan shows are James Blunt and some soccer players who are not Beckham. [WWD, 1st item]

• And yet... Monica Bellucci, Naomi Campbell, Sheryl Crow, Fergie, Lindsay Lohan and French actress Fanny Ardant are all expected to show for the Dolce & Gabbana show. Because, uh, that other thing we just said about no big celebs was just some stupid angle we made up. You think it's easy filling an ENTIRE NEWSPAPER with material solely about the fashion industry every day? [WWD, 4th item]
• Kanye: Likes Chanel cell phones. [Chic Report]
• Isla Fisher on her upcoming starring role in Confessions of a Shopaholic: "I've done a lot of research." LOL. [Sassybella]
• Yay Bob Mackie! The man who dressed Cher, Carol Burnett, Diana Ross and Barbie in some of their finest frocks is being honored by the Costume Designers Guild today. [WWD, 8th item]
• Gemma Ward: The face of Karl Lagerfeld's spring line. It's all sorta suburban goth girl....so I'm weirdly into it. [Sassybella]
• J.C. Penney and Ralph Lauren have teamed up to create a new, "exclusive" label. Polo Penney! We can't say this aloud and not laugh. [NYT]
• Takashi Murakami: He's everywhere! First on Vuitton bags, then at the Brooklyn Museum of Art in April and then at the Museum of Contemporary Art in LA in October. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Isaac Mizrahi's designing the costumes for the New York City Opera's production of King Arthur, which could actually be enough to get our asses to the opera. [Fashion Week Daily]
• It's so hard to be a model: "Everyone sees you as merely another pretty face, and I work really hard every day to show I am more than that," says Vanessa Hessler. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Execs at Gianfranco Ferre are all grumpy that the fashion community is being all gossipy about the unexpected (and unexpectedly swift) exit of creative director Lars Nilsson from the label. Um, are they new to the fashion industry? Gossip always takes precedence over clothes. [Vogue UK]
• Fight MS! Wear lip balm! [BellaSugar]
• Playboy cosmetics: Definitely skeeve us out. [BellaSugar]
• Matthew McConaughey. Dolce & Gabbana. Video. LOL. [Sassybella]

• The judge in Britney Spears' custody case says "there is a habitual, frequent, and continuous use of controlled substances and alcohol by (Britney)." He's ordered Britney "to undergo testing for the use of controlled substances and alcohol." Testing will be conducted randomly twice a week. In addition, Britney and Kevin Federline must complete the "Parenting Without Conflict" program. [TMZ]
  
• Michael Jackson took his kids to see The Lion King and "they all had wigs and baseball caps on," says a source. Paris, Prince and Blanket were introduced to the cast and then MJ and the kids "ran out." [Page Six]
  
• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have put their four bedroom in Nashville up for sale, yawn. [Page Six]
  
• For their Best Of Beauty Awards party, Allure magazine replaced Lily Allen — who has visa issues — with Mandy Moore. Not exactly the same. [Page Six]
  
• Is Rose McGowan engaged to Robert Rodriguez? The two met on the set of Grindhouse and Rodriguez soon divorced his wife. Now Rose is wearing a rock. We're not saying he likes Rose because her name starts with R, but he did name his kids Rocket, Racer, Rebel, Rogue, and Rhiannon. [Page Six]

• Kanye West's new CD may be outselling 50 Cent's but Fiddy is number 2 on Forbes' Hip Hop Cash Kings list — he made $32 million last year. Yeah, we didn't know Forbes was so down either. [Page Six]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown is accused of leaving her 2-month-old daughter with the maid for four days while she hit Las Vegas to get married. [Gatecrasher]
• A Toronto restauranteur is blasting singer Nelly Furtado's bad manners. "She made a reservation for 10 guests," Guy Rubino says. "She showed up an hour late, with five extra people in tow. For parties that size, we do a prix-fixe type of menu. Nelly objected." There's a "Maneater" joke in there somewhere. [Rush & Molloy]
• In Touch claims that Jennifer Lopez is expecting a baby, but Marc Anthony's rep says "No." [Rush & Molloy, 2nd item]
• Joel Madden on Nicole Richie: "Obviously, marriage is in our future. I don't know when or where or how, but right now our priority is our family and .. the baby." [Rush & Molloy, 3rd item]
• For a profile on James Blunt, Rolling Stone writer Austin Scaggs took Ecstasy with the singer. How awesome would it be if the article ended, "and then we made out" ? [Rush & Molloy, 5th item]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs says his fragrance, Unforgivable, will outsell other celeb scents because he "knows exactly what women should smell like." [Rush & Molloy, 10th item]
• Drew Barrymore and Justin "I'm a Mac" Long: went on a date to the Arcade Fire afterparty in Austin, TX. Sweet. [Rush & Molloy, 11th item]

• Yesterday we read that Lindsay Lohan was seen buying beer — now there's a report that she failed a drug test in rehab. What the hell is going on? Seriously. [The Sun]
  
• Amy Winehouse texted her father from the Caribbean, claiming to be "right as rain." We don't know much about British sayings but we're pretty sure that doesn't mean "high as a kite," which is a plus. [Mirror]
  
• Meanwhile, Amy's dad says he prays for her every other day. Also, he's a cabbie in London; did you know that? [The Sun]
  
• James Blunt: Chasing models, singing karaoke with Paris Hilton, continuing to exist. [Page Six]
  
• Mischa Barton can't dance. Shocker. [Page Six]
  
• Bridget Moynahan refused to see Tom Brady after she gave birth to his son — but he was allowed to see the baby. That's one tough mama! [Gatecrasher]

• OK! magazine was going to cover Dannielynn's first birthday party, but now fear that they were "tricked" by Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern. [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
• Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson are on a "romantic getaway" in Turks and Caicos and you're not. [Gatecrasher, 3rd from bottom]
• Blind item! "Which struggling new glossy is so out of money that staffers are having to pay for photos on personal credit cards?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Blind item! "Which repeat rehabber helps her hotel staffers earn extra points when they wait on her? The upscale hotels, who require staffers to earn points based on rooms they tend to, get three times the amount to pick up her panties, scores of condoms and tidy up the room after she trashes it." [Rush & Molloy, 6th item]
• David Letterman, who very rarely appears on shows other than his own, will be on Oprah! [YahooNews]
• Ashley Olsen will play a "sexually promiscuous girl" in a movie based on a Bret Easton Ellis novel. Superman's Brandon Routh will play a vampire. [Reuters]
• David Beckham down! Becks sprained his knee Wednesday night in something called the SuperLiga final. We just had a vision of Posh tending to him in a nurse's outfit. [SportsIllustrated]

• The pictures of Paris Hilton playing with puppies and wearing one-piece bathing suits on the beach? Part of an elaborate PR plan, naturally. [Page Six]
  
• Ben Kingsley, 63, kisses Mary-Kate Olsen, 21, in a movie currently being filmed. Is this the proper use of the man who brought us Ghandi? [Page Six]
  
• Erin Brockovich, 47, regrets her breast implants now that she's older. Imagine that! [Page Six]
  
• Robin Williams was seen wandering around Greenwich, CT, looking for the location of an AA meeting. Doesn't one of those As stand for anonymous? [Page Six]

• Sudanese model Alek Wek hints that there may be racism in fashion photography. You don't say! [Page Six]
• NFL star Matt Leinart has settled a custody battle with his baby mama, Brynn Cameron. At the courthouse, a TMZ staffer heard Brynn say, "Britney and Paris aren't allowed to be around the baby!" Is this just something people say in Hollywood now, like "Let's do lunch?" [TMZ]
• So you know how Van Halen is reuniting? They have a new band member, 16-year-old Wolfgang Van Halen. His dad is Eddie and his mom is Valerie Bertinelli. Good luck, kiddo! [People]
• OMG. Britney Spears might open the MTV Awards? OMG. OMG. [E!]
• Amy Winehouse update: Coke and heroin addiction plus fighting parents and inlaws = big trouble. Also, Amy's husband is an addict, too, big surprise. [Mirror]
• UK "glamour model" and general trainwreck, Jordan, has a little sister, Sophie, 17. Guess what Sophie wants for her birthday? Implants and a half-naked photo shoot! [The Sun]

Coincidentally, here's a pic of Petra Nemcova with her new boyfriend James Blunt at the Global Green pre-Oscar party last night. Let's see what they have in common:

Ratty hair: CHECK
Bad posture: CHECK
No bra: CHECK
Ill-fitting clothes: CHECK
Inability to locate an iron in the house: CHECK

Now we know that love is a many spendoured thing, Petra, but we have our limits. Take a bath, at least.

Mary J. Blige, James Blunt, and The Dixie Chicks lead the Grammy charge. Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline inexplicably fail to get the nod.

Not content with making your ears cry, Madonna wants to dress you. And then roll around in a pile of dollars laughing at you because you're fat and you look like shit.

Gwen Stefani's launching a perfume. How original.

Ooh look! Candadians can be controversial!