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New York, 11:58 AM
Tue Dec 1
73 posts in the last 24 hours
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03/06/09
03/06/09
I don't think it's unreasonable to try and figure out why the fight/flight instinct kicks in sooner for some women than others if it even does. It isn't their fault that they don't flee immediately but that doesn't mean we don't need to bother figuring out why they don't. Understanding that may go a long way towards ensuring that more women don't fall victim to domestic abuse. Anything that can empower women to stand up and say HELL NO to abuse is okay in my book.
Frankly I believe that we'd already have the answers if domestic abuse was primarily a male issue. Brains would have been studied by the thousands and countless billions would have been spent on research. The punishment would be much more severe too. I think women deserve the same investment of resources as Viagra got and then some. Just my 2 cents.
03/06/09
True words, and sad ones too.
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[www.hiphopmusic.com]
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03/05/09
I've never been a people person (sort of shy), nor particularly good at comforting people (just not wired that way I guess...), so does anyone know of any way I could possibly be useful?
Thanks for any suggestions. Somewhat relatedly, just let me say, I've been lurking around here for a year or so, and only started commenting a few weeks ago ... and I love the Jezebel community to pieces. That is all.
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That is all.
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If Rihanna does not want to cooperate the prosecution can most certainly proceed without her. I only had a handful of cooperating spouses but that never stopped me from getting convictions. This is a stellar case evidence wise already and I can assure you we aren't seeing everything the state has in their pockets.
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03/06/09
So...no, I don't think that there was anything smart about what she did. In fact, it reminds me all too much of coabusive relationships I was faced with when I worked in the domestic violence division at the state attorney's office. She essentially false baits him in hopes that he will get scared and stop what he is doing, but she fails to actually take steps to "tattle" on him. Very sad.
03/06/09
He wasn't mad because he was scared of getting in trouble, because he knew I wasn't calling anyone. He was mad that I'd dare to defy him in any way.
It's part bluff to try and diffuse the situation, but it's futile because you know it won't. And it's partially provoking the person. The abuse is going to happen either way, and a lot of abuse victims will speed up the delivery of such violence rather than have it strung out. It's sick, but it happens.
03/06/09
03/05/09
"They both need to go to jail, if in fact she did hit him or terrorize him psychologically."
damn fucking straight - no passes for anyone who is violent
There should be no quarter for people who are violent, regardless of gender.
i too, lived through this crap and know how it goes.
03/05/09
If she had fought back, would that justify her going to prison? Could you prove whether it happened before or during her beating? Do you think maybe if she had hurt him at all she wouldn't be alive right now?
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03/05/09
hey Chris I still love u no matter what u did!! I'll always be ur fan... N maybe that hoe got u so mad that u had to hit her... It's ok chris I forgive u!!! LOVE U ALWAYS JENNY!!!!!!
They are as old as my little sister and think that there are instances in which it is somehow right to hit another human being? I need to talk to counterclockwise junior soon.
03/05/09
These thought processes create a perfect storm in which they can become both abused and an abuser
disconcerting
03/05/09
It scares me. Am I overreacting if I sit little counterclockwise down for a talk about that? Just to see what she thinks?
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It's amazing and dazing that she is only 7 years younger, but she's growing up in a different world, just like you said.
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So yes, counterclockwise I think it's a good idea and not overreacting at all.
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Generational thing or not, I'm a proud, big, overprotective sister to counterclockwise junior and her two best friends who lack big sisters. They're smart girls (who will be introduced to Jezebel as soon as their English is up to par) with opinions who will go far if they try.
@BluebellaElliot: Talk to your sister, you might not seem extremely close now, but maybe she wants to talk to you more than you expect. In situations like these a big sister/brother can be much more helpful than parents, because you communicate in a different way. And while you're at it, kick that little fuckers' ass. I would.
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@encnyc: Yes, she's 12, but leave your assumptions at the door. She is not...typical.