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• Trouble a-brewin in Los Angeles! Apparently Nicole Richie is thrilled that Paris Hilton and Benji Madden broke up, because Nicole "never thought Paris was ever really into" Benji. Nicole also told her boyfriend's identical twin brother that he "deserves better." Burn! [Star]
• Speaking of Paris! She wants to take her breathy baby voice and use it to play Tinkerbell in a Disney live action movie based on the famous sprite. According to a source, "Paris has worked on her acting chops lately and showed some comedy prowess in her YouTube spoof of running for president. Disney suits saw it and think she may be developing some comedic-actress potential." But people were laughing at her, not with her. [Daily Express]

• Britney's husband of two minutes, Jason Alexander, was arrested for ditching his court appointed trips to the morgue. According to TMZ, "After Alexander was busted for DUI back in 2006, the judge ordered the 27-year-old to go to an alcohol education program, which required him to visit the local morgue. When the judge learned Alexander had ditched his first 2 appointments, he refused to give him a third chance and promptly chucked him in the slammer." [TMZ]
• Jada Pinkett insists that she and Will Smith are totes normal. "We are not perfect. We have bad days, just like any other couple. I tell Will all the time what makes you perfect are your imperfections." Yawn. [Daily Express]
• Olympic beach volleyball champ Kerri Walsh is expecting her first baby. Sayeth People: "What could be better than winning an Olympic gold medal? Becoming a mom, of course!" [People]
• Iggy Pop is so over New York and L.A., and thus picked up and moved to Miami. "I was fed up after 25 years in huge, dark, media-centric cities. I decided to find a house and move here. I was looking for something in a kind of elegant coma with a lot of peace and convenience," the Popster says. [CNN]
• Twilight hottie Robert Pattinson is overwhelmed by the screaming tweens who stalk him. "I didn't know anything about the hype when I was making it so now I just turn up and literally I used to get so stressed out because people are screaming at you. And you just think 'What do I have to do? I cant give anything back to you at all.'" [Daily Express]
• File under things that make you go hmmm: Gossip queen Ted Casablancas is wondering why no one ever followed up on the story about Diane Lane calling 911 on her volatile husband, Josh Brolin. He says he pressed Lane's PR folks on the matter more than once and has come up empty. [E! Online]
• Sources say that Johnny Depp will play Dante in a forthcoming film based on the Fourteenth Century scribe. The biopic will be about Dante's struggle to write the Divine Comedy.[Daily Express]
• What does Emma Thompson admire most in a person? "The ability to laugh in the face of disaster. Every joke is a form of rebellion. Mark Twain said that only laughter can blow nonsense 'to rags and atoms at a blast.'" [Reader's Digest]
• Why did Details think it would be cool to make Keri Russell look like an OD-ing heroin addict in this photoshoot? [Egotastic]
• Is A-Rod already cheating on her Madgesty? Sources say the Rod is obsessed with model Melissa Britos. [Perez]
• Though there were rumors that NeNe from Real Housewives of Atlanta was evicted, she is denying all that noise. "Everybody knows that I like to be honest, real and upfront. If something was wrong, I would tell you… please know that my family continues to be abundantly blessed, and that Miss NeNe has not skipped a beat!” [People]

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• Halle Berry gave birth to a baby girl on Sunday morning in L.A. An insider says Halle first arrived at the hospital early Saturday with contractions and "skyrocketing" blood pressure, but stabilized, went home and came back later Saturday night. The baby was born at 10:17 am yesterday. Congrats! [Star Magazine]
  
• Baby and mama are "doing great!" [US Magazine]
  
• George Clooney is going to be Nicole Kidman's baby's godfather. Damn. Raise your hand if you're jealous of an unborn kid. [Mirror]
  
• Nicole Richie hates her post-pregnancy boobs. "I am bustier now and I really don't like it. It doesn't really fit with my wardrobe, it's not who I am. I am not someone who is used to wearing a bra or having to wear a bra, I really don't like it. I like wearing vintage hippy see-through shirts that aren't slutty on me because there is nothing to look at." [The Sun]
  
• Mel Gibson and Britney Spears: New BFFs. WTF. [TMZ]

• Oh, a source says Mel and Brit had dinner together to talk about sobriety. Sure. [E!]
• Sam Lutfi's restraining order regarding Britney has been extended for another 30 days, thank Zeus. [TMZ]
• Is Britney's father opening a restaurant with Kevin Federline??? [Mirror]
• Brit's kids came to visit; she let her dad push the stroller. [The Sun]
• The hospital where Britney stayed for psychiatric evaluation has suspended some employees and may fire others for looking at Brit's medical records. [Reuters]
• Lindsay Lohan admits that her pre-rehab lifestyle was effed up: "I was putting myself in the wrong situations and I didn't have the focus in the right place." [People]
• Lindsay recently had a meeting with rapper Fat Joe. Reeemiiiix! [E!]
• Paris Hilton is going on tour with Benji Madden and his band, Good Charlotte, in South Africa, yawn. [People]
• A Hasidic Jew dropped out of the role of Natalie Portman's husband in her new movie because of pressure from his community. Oy. [UPI]
• Keith Richards likes Amy Winehouse's music but says,"That girl isn't going to be around long unless she sorts herself out pretty quick. Amy's got to get smart." [Daily Mail]
• Sarah Jessica Parker on the Sex And The City movie: "A handful of people have seen it and have been very surprised by the seriousness. There's something that happens in this movie and it's really about realizing your own complicity and disappointment. You know the necessity of friends, but at a certain point, as a grown-up person, you have to take care of yourself." [LA Times]
• Did "oil heir" Brandon Davis steal a $100,000 watch from producer Scott Storch? [Page Six]
• Eminem is working on the return of Slim Shady: He's back in the studio and working out with a trainer. [Page Six]
• Dear Page Six, Lisa D'Amato did not win Cycle Five of ANTM; she did pee herself on a photo shoot, though. [Page Six]
• Blind items! "Which married foreign head of state makes Bill Clinton look like a Boy Scout? When women are granted audiences with the man, they find him at his desk with his fly open or, sometimes, with his pants already down... Which "socialite" dropped from a size 14 to a size 0 with the help of a new dangerous habit? She and some of her friends are dabbling in the appetite suppressant heroin." [Page Six]
• Blind item: "Which new mama likes to sneak vodka into her water glass even though she's still breastfeeding?" [ONTD]
• Diane Sawyer did a special on prostitution which never aired; thanks to Spitzer & Dupre, it'll be on ABC this Friday. Dreams really do come true. [Rush & Molloy]
• Actor Daniel Radcliffe smokes like 20 cigarettes a day. Harry Potter & The Phlegmy Cough. [ONTD]
• Start hitting your high notes: Mariah Carey will be a guest judge on American Idol this week. [ONTD]
• CSI: Miami's David Caruso: A dick on the set. [Page Six]
• Kate Moss has been banned from joining boyfriend Jamie Hince on stage when his band, The Kills, tours. She'll have to be happy with "groupie" status. [Mirror]
• Is Madonna's marriage "hanging by a thread"? How many times have you heard that before? [The Sun]
• But apparently Madonna and Guy Ritchie will announce a split in 18 months. Mark your calendar! [ONTD]
• Madonna's new song will be released via a SunSilk shampoo commercial. Rinse and repeat. [The.Life Files]
• Dawn Wells, aka Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island, was supposed to speak to the Girl Scouts of America; they canceled after she was charged with marijuana possession. But she could warm the girls of the dangers of DUI! [UPI]
• Sadie Frost has split with Towers of London bassist Kristian Marr. Did you know they were dating? [Sunday Mirror]
• Paul McCartney may learn how much cash he has to give Heather Mills in their divorce settlement today, but will we? These things are private, as dictated by British law. But the judge can release some or all details after the couple has heard the decision. [CNN]
• Yee-haw! Carrie Underwood is joining the Grand Ole Opry. [Yahoo News]
• The drummer from ABBA was found dead in Spain. [Yahoo News]
• Is the Church of Scientology planning to use Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith to lure black people into its clutches? [MSNBC]
• Minnie Driver doesn't know what to name her baby. "Driver is kind of a hard name to put with a first name, particularly boys' names. My friend sent me an email saying I should call the baby Duncan Driver. Then I can call it Dunk Driver, Pile Driver, Rally Driver." [The Sun]
• Michael Stipe: Totes le gay. [Rush & Molloy]

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