• Remember this report that Quentin Tarantino asked Brad Pitt to join the cast of Inglourious Basterds over some wine and some weed?

Quentin says: "That was Brad. He did the fabrication. He can take a Coke can and make it - functional." [NY Mag]

• Unsolicited uterus update: "Is Penelope Cruz pregnant?" Is she? [Page Six]
• Matt Damon has launched a new humanitarian project, Water.org, aimed at bringing clean water sources to nearly 890 million people at risk of disease. [Mirror]
• "Why I Waited Until 44 To Do My First Nude Scene, By The Proposal Star Sandra Bullock." Actually, she doesn't explain that, but she does say: "If you're naked and you're trying to be sexy — you don't really make as much money as if you're naked and you're funny." [Daily Mail]
• NYC Artist Dash Snow has died of a drug overdose; his brother, Maxwell Snow, dated Mary-Kate Olsen. [ONTD, Page Six]
• What will the Harry Potter stars do after the the movies are over? Daniel Radcliffe hopes to head back to the stage, but also "sleep"; Emma Watson will attend college, but would like to work with directors Alfonso Cuaron and Guillermo del Toro; Rupert Grint says: "I look forward to seeing what else is out there and to move on, really." [USA Today]
• In a poll, Hermione was voted the favorite Harry Potter character. And! "Some 51% thought [Emma] Watson would have the best post-Potter career, with a large majority (67 percent) approving the idea of her appearing naked." Eyeroll! [Reuters]
• Uh, the Vatican approves of the latest Harry Potter movie, since it makes the debate over good versus evil crystal clear. [Mirror]
• Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz is "resentful" that Guy Ritchie has been hanging around lately. But, you know, Madge and Guy were married for eight years and have three kids together. So. As for Jesus, a source says Madonna likes him because "He's pretty and she can boss him around." [Gatecrasher]
• Pity the Poles! Britney's Circus tour won't be stopping in Warsaw, due to a contractual dispute. [AP]
• Robert Redford got married on Saturday! The bride was a German Fräulein named Sibylle Szaggars; the ceremony took place at St. Catherine Church in Hamburg. Herzlichen Glückwunsch! [AP]
• Nicole Kidman's daughter, Sunday Rose, has turned one year old, and Nic and husband Keith Urban celebrated with a "little cake." Also, Keith says, "My wife made a beautiful video that covered her first year and we gave that to all the family." The kid is already a film star. [Daily Express]
• David Beckham has a new tattoo: The ring of roses around his arm has one flower for each year of marriage to wife Victoria. Sweet. [Daily Mail]
• Is Simon Cowell worth £100 million a year? That's what he's negotiating for to stay on American Idol. [Mirror]
• An X Factor fan lost her purse and Simon Cowell gave her a wad of his own cash. He can spare it! [EW]
• The LAPD is treating Michael Jackson's death as a homicide, and Dr. Conrad Murray is the focus of the investigation. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe's lawyer denies that she accepted $4 million to walk away from the custody battle. He says: "Ms. Rowe has not accepted — and will not accept — any additional financial consideration beyond the spousal support she and Michael Jackson personally agreed to several years ago." The New York Post printed a story claiming that Rowe had struck a deal with the Jackson family, and her lawyer is calling it "unequivocally false." [TMZ, CBS News, Reuters]
• Debbie Rowe sent emails to a friend which say: "I'm not going after custody. These kids are not mine. They were never mine. They were always Michael's. I was Michael's best friend." [Extra]
• Dr. Arnold Klein, Michael Jackson's dermatologist, is not fully cooperating with official requests for medical records. [TMZ]
• The DEA is trying to find out who supplied Michael Jackson with the powerful anesthesia Propofol. [TMZ]
• "A maker of the potent anesthetic propofol found in Michael Jackson's home has been contacted by federal officials investigating the pop star's death and has recalled tens of thousands of vials of the drug after two tainted lots sickened dozens of patients." [AP]
• "I never saw him on drugs. Not once. He deliberately did it away from us. He didn't want his family to know anything about that part of him." — Tito Jackson on Michael's drug use. [Mirror]
• Jack Wishna, a Las Vegas businessman who tried to organized comeback shows for Michael Jackson, says the pop star would move a bunch of mattresses on to the floor so he and all his kids could play, jump up and down and sleep in the same room. In addition, he would leave his Christmas trees up for about seven months. [E!]
• At this link, you'll find similarities and differences between real-life super agent Ari Emanuel and the character inspired by him, Entourage's Ari Gold. [Independent]
• Zooey Deschanel was supposed to headline a screening and Q&A of her film 500 Days Of Summer on Monday, but she'd already headed to Ireland where she's shooting Your Highness, a fantasy flick in which she plays a princess. Zooey sent a recorded statement in which she said, "Umm, I guess I should maybe answer a few questions preemptively. ... I did the movie because I liked it." [Observer]
• Vanessa Hudgens will be in a movie called Bandslam, playing a character named Sa5m, and — this is important — the 5 is silent. [People]
• Emily Blunt joins Matt Damon in Adjustment Bureau, a movie based on a Philip K. Dick short story. [Variety]
• Russell Brand: The voice of the Easter Bunny. In a live action/CGI family comedy called I Hop, to be released in March 2011. [Variety]
• Miley Cyrus will star in Wings, a movie based on a novel about a high-school girl who sprouts a pair of wings and learns that she is a fairy. [Variety]
• Hugh Jackman's signed on to appear in Avon Man, in which guys laid off from an auto dealership end up working as Avon salesmen. Jackman + makeup + comedy? We're in. [Variety]
• Usher has a summer camp, Camp New Look, that invites 130 children to spend two weeks in Atlanta learning about the business side of sports and entertainment. Hey says: "These kids come here and they're like 'Oh, wow … we're going to learn about entertainment!' But they leave engaged in life and knowing that, 'I can have a future outside of music.' That's what makes me most proud." [USA Today]
• Uh-oh. Robert De Niro is a victim of an art scam? He is gonna take you down. Take you down to Chinatown. [Reuters]
• Hmm, I didn't know that Rashida Jones was dating President Obama's speechwriter, Jon Favreau. Where have I been? [Page Six]
• Q-Tip has inked a deal to publish his memoir, titled Industry Rules. Is one chapter titled "I Left My Wallet In El Segundo"? [mediabistro.com]
• Interesting piece about Angie Dickinson, who starred in the 1974-78 NBC series Police Woman, for which she earned a Golden Globe award and Emmy nominations as L.A. police officer Sgt. Pepper Anderson. The show paved the way for future female-driven cop shows. [LA Times]
• Congrats To Joey McIntyre and his wife, who are expecting their second child in December. [People]
• Some guy was trying to sue Janet Jackson, claiming that her bodyguards beat him up in a club, but the case was dismissed due to a lack of evidence. [Goathamist]
• Aerosmith bass player Tom Hamilton is recovering from non-invasive surgery and will miss some tour dates. [Reuters]
• Jane Fonda and music producer Richard Perry: It's on. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which grungy young starlet's idea of a good time is getting stoned with her ex-hippie parents?" [Gatecrasher]
• "When you have three kids, you've got to take your opportunities when they come. In a limo, on the way to the Academy Awards this year, Will started looking at me in this way that drives me wild. We started kissing passionately, and the next thing I knew, well, let's just say we missed the red carpet and I ended up with almost no makeup on." — Jada Pinkett Smith spills about her sex life. [Page Six]
• "[She] wipes the floor with me every time I play her." — Daniel Radcliffe, who says Emma Watson is a pro at table tennis. [The Sun]
• "I respect criticism. But I know more about film than most of the people writing about me. Not only that, I'm a better writer than most of the people writing about me. And I can write film criticism better than most of the people writing about me. [My goal was] to get the biggest standing ovation of the festival, and I got it [...] Sometimes it's your time to be Elvis, and that was my time." — Quentin Tarantino, on the mixed reviews of Inglourious Basterds and its reception at Cannes. [NY Mag]
• "I'm a trained astronaut, and it's my time to go." — Lance Bass is still hoping to head to space. [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't have his number, so haven't spoken to him. But I can safely say that his insisting that girls would choose me over him that they would not. That they do not. He is the much prettier and can be much more charming. And he can do that thing of being sultry and sexy." — Daniel Radcliffe, on Robert Pattinson. [The Daily Beast]
• "Although my grief over Michael could not be any deeper, I am not on suicide watch as some of the cheaper 'rags' would have you believe." — Elizabeth Taylor. [CNN]

Like Nurse Jackie, Hawthorne is an overworked nurse who juggles work and family; but she's also mourning the death of her husband. The episode began and ended with Hawthorne talking out loud — to her husband's ashes, in an urn. (I groaned.) The episode started out strong, with a grisly suicide attempt, but quickly devolved into obligatory scenes where nurses get no respect and doctors are self-centered and patients suffer needlessly. In the middle of total hospital chaos — a homeless woman brings in a newborn; an Asian doctor's accent can't be understood by a new nurse — Hawthorne gets a call from her daughter's school and has to deal with some drama there. Sure, sure. She just leaves her job and drives to find out her kid is getting detention. (Clip above.)

I found the show to be predictable, tepid, slow and monotonous, with jokes and surprises played in the least-fun, most broad way possible. Even with its quirks — Hawthorne's friend is an amputee with a prosthetic leg; patients always assume the male nurse is a doctor; one female nurse jerks off a soldier as some kind of patriotic act — the poor direction, belabored jokes, irritating music cues and clichéd plot points can't save this medical drama. Diagnosis: Flatline.

*Number 1 Ladies' Detective Agency is the other one.

• Madonna has flown a nanny and a nurse to Malawi to look after Mercy while adoption papers and visas are being arranged. The deal's not done and the kid already has an entourage! [The Sun]

• Newsworthy: Megan Fox wore a red dress with a slit up to there and no bra and says, "I'm currently what you would call single I guess." [The Sun]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown were both at Game 4 of the NBA finals in Orlando on Thursday, and Chris went over where Rihanna and her posse were sitting and shook hands with all of her friends. But Rihanna was at the game to see Magic forward Rashard Lewis, "whom she's currently crushing on." [Gatecrasher]
• Usher is singing "You make me wanna… file for divorce" to wife Tameka Foster. [NY Daily News]
• "Fragile Susan Boyle dramatically dropped out of the Britain's Got Talent tour yesterday." [The Sun]
• Officials say Susan Boyle's cancellation was just a "one-off rest day." [NY Post]
• SHOCKER: Jon and Kate did not spend their 10th wedding anniversary together. [NY Daily News]
• As previously mentioned, Bruce Willis' daughter Tallulah is an intern at Bazaar, but the Post points out that since she's 15 and unpaid, it's in violation of federal labor laws. Bazaar clarifies: "Tallulah is a guest of Harper's Bazaar, shadowing our editors for a couple of weeks." [Page Six]
• Behold: Bruce Willis and new wife in some kind of "fetishistic shoot." She seems to be wearing those ankle-wrenching Nina Ricci shoes; he seems to be wearing very little. Won't someone think of the 15-year-old intern??? [NY Post]
• "BRAD PITT GOES ON ART BUYING BINGE." Well, he bought one painting. [Page Six]
• Brad Pitt's brother Doug has announced that the The Brad Pitt family is donating $1 million to establish an endowment fund to pay cancer specialists at St. John's hospital in Springfield , MO — the the center will be renamed St. John's Jane Pitt Pediatric Cancer Center in honor of their mother. [News-Leader]
• Lady GaGa dyes her dark hair blonde because she was once mistaken for Amy Winehouse: "Amy is a badass but I want to be known for my own look." Oh, you are, dear. You are. [The Sun]
• Dolly Parton in a Girl Scouts uniform! [Star Tribune]
• Prince Harry is pining for ex Chelsy Davy and told a friend, "I lost the best thing that ever happened to me." New love interest Caroline Flack doesn't have enough Ys in her name, so she's out of the picture. [The Sun]
• Re: Chaz Bono's sex change: The only regret? He wishes he had done it sooner. [TMZ]
• Three words: Octomom The Musical. [People]
• The new Miss California USA, Tami Farrell, says: "I'm trying my best to kind of calm the waters… I think that everything in life happens for a reason, and I'm just blessed to have this opportunity." These statements were made while she was attending the Playboy Jazz Festival at the Hollywood Bowl. Obviously. [CNN]
• Kelly Preston is in a PSA promoting healthy food for kids; you can watch it at the link. [People]
• Even though she's on tour with No Doubt, Gwen Stefani says: "My priorities are always going to be my husband and my family now. That's a huge, huge thing." [NY Daily News]
• SCANDAL: Justin "I'm A Mac" Long doesn't have an iPhone. [Page Six]
• Check out this silly interview with Shawn Wayans and his nephews, who are responsible for Dance Flick. Among Shawn's quips: "Obama is a superhero, man… Obama takes his kids to school and then he goes to work and saves the economy." [NY Times]
• Paul McCartney thinks you should go vegetarian at least once a week, to help the environment. Hence: Meat Free Monday. What's it gonna be tonight, folks? Mac and cheese? Falafel? Ice cream sundaes? [Telegraph]
• Sarah Silverman has a book of "autobiographical essays" coming out next April. [Page Six]
• Morgan Freeman is being sued for negligence regarding that horrible car crash last August; he denies the allegations. [E!]
• Though she stopped receiving treatment for anal cancer about a month ago, Farrah Fawcett's condition has not changed; she is still "stable." [Fox News]
• Does Sharon Osbourne owe $23,363.16 in California State taxes? [TMZ]
• Dennis Quaid has been cast as Bill Clinton in The Special Relationship, a film about the former president and Tony Blair — and Quaid's been "encouraged" to gain about 25 pounds. "It's Dennis's worst nightmare," says a source. "He is really health-conscious, but has been asked to follow the same diet as Clinton and gorge himself on Big Macs and Coca-Cola." The horror. [Telegraph]
• "Nine years, 18 seasons and 15 iterations of wilderness later, Survivor host Jeff Probst is a man of simple needs: A shower to call his own and a movie theater within driving distance." The ultimate Survivor? [LA Times]
• Tracey Ullman's show, State Of The Union, is available on Showtime in the US, but the BBC won't buy it. [Daily Express]
• Oh, dear: Those people suing Miley Cyrus for defaming Asians in her "slanty eye" picture got a judge who uses the word "orientals." Obviously they want him off the case. [TMZ]
• A lawsuit filed against Michael Jackson won't stop his comeback tour in London. [MSNBC]
• "The amusement-park rides, elephants and orangutans have been hauled away… Bats hang over the doorway to the building that housed Mr. Jackson's private arcade; guano stains the threshold." — from an update on the property known as Neverland, once the home of Michael Jackson. [WSJ]
• In a conversation with David Cross, he reveals that he has a publicist for the first time ever — at the urging of his girlfriend Amber Tamblyn; he has a book coming out in August,; and, he says: Alvin and the Chipmunks paid me more than all my other projects combined." He just finished the sequel. [LA Times]
• Katie "Jordan" Price on husband Peter Andre: "He's treating our split like a publicity stunt to relaunch his career." [Mirror]
• Hundreds of mourners gathered at a funeral for David Carradine in Hollywood on Saturday; music included The Beatles' "Let It Be" and Ludwig von Beethoven's "Requiem for a Fallen Hero." [AP]
• Oooh, Ghostbusters: Where Are They Now? [NY Daily News]
• John Amos, known for his roles in Roots, The West Wing and as the dad in Good Times, debuted his country single, "We Were Hippies," as part of the 2009 CMA Music Week in Nashville. [UPI]
• Did you know that David Bowie has a 38-year-old son, Duncan Jones? And did you know that he directed the new Sam Rockwell flick, Moon? [Patricia Glassop, the mother of late INXS singer Michael Hutchence says she hasn't seen her son's only daughter in years — Tiger Lily, 12, is being raised by Sir Bob Geldof, who is responsible for the ladies known as Peaches and Pixie. "Bob hasn't exactly been a role model in the parenting stakes when you look at the behavior of Peaches and Pixie. Glassop says: "Bob hasn't exactly been a role model in the parenting stakes when you look at the behavior of Peaches and Pixie." Ouch! [This Is London]
• "If you're going to be an actress you can't be coy. Breasts are sexy. I want to see them and audiences want to see them. I've had to do my fair share of it. If you're going to be an actress or a model it's usually part of the package. Men don't have to worry because their private parts don't make pleasant viewing, she thinks. "We don't want to see willies because they're ugly. We want to see breasts because they're beautiful." — Rachel Ward, whom you may have seen in The Thorn Birds. [Daily Express]
• "I stand by what I said. They did copy my song but I don't think they did it on purpose. I have even copied myself without even knowing I have done it. I'll write down what I think is a good melody and realise it's the same as something I have already done. I don't want them to think I am angry with them. I'd love to sit down and have a cup of tea with them and let them know it's okay." — Yusuf Islam, aka Cat Stevens, on Coldplay. [Daily Express]
• "If any of you have a project entitled Everlasting Love With an Adult Stable Male, I'm at table 6 and my agents are at table 12!" — Jennifer Aniston, joking about her single status at an awards dinner. [E!]
• "Christina is basically a woman with a God complex that's really going to have to, like, get real. She's going to have to learn to take care of herself as intensely as the patients." — Jada Pinkett Smith, on her character in Hawthorne, who is the only African-American woman to carry an hour-long drama (along with Jill Scott in The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency) since 1974. [NY Times]
• "It's dangerous to bring this up, I talked about him in an interview not long ago, saying that I still love him, and he was like, 'Please stop talking about it.'" — Sienna Miller on Jude Law. [Mirror via Vogue]
• "In some ways, I was waiting for that cyclical swing back. Everything has a time and a space. I feel like something's changing. Especially when Amy Winehouse came out, I'm talking to 17-year-olds that I know, and they're freaking out about her. That's when I thought, things are getting fresh." — singer Maxwell, on his return. [WWD]
• "Amanda's such a hot mess that it's a dream to play her, although now of course people assume I'm a bitch in real life, when I'm actually the least intimidating person around. I sometimes wish I could channel Amanda. I was in a store the other day and the cashier was mean to me. I felt like doing an Amanda and shouting, 'Listen, maybe you should learn to dress better!' but I just couldn't." — Becki Newton, who plays Amanda Tanen on Ugly Betty. [Daily Mail]
• "Family life revolves around Elizabeth. If we decided to go on holiday, the first questions are: can Elizabeth go? Will she be okay? Will she have fun? That's the way it's always been, and that's just fine by me." — Eva Longoria on her 42-year-old sister, who has Down Syndrome but is "highly functional" and graduated high school and is now a special education teacher. [Daily Mail]
• "I was Cornish Gamehen for a while, which was bizarre. But for the last couple years, I have been Meryl Inch — however, there is too much of a debacle going on there these days to continue that. So I have to come up with something creative." — Mandy Moore, on what name she uses when she checks into a hotel. [CNN]
• "Reality is an elusive seductress. I like watching her hips move." — Tori Amos. [Times Of London]

• Just what you always wanted: Heidi Montag has posed for the September issue of Playboy:

Here is the obligatory quote about how classy it is: "There is nudity. It's tasteful – she had a lot of fun with it," says a source. [People]

• Wait, what? Rihanna and Chris Brown requested seats together at the NBA Finals game in Orlando, Florida. Some kind of carefully orchestrated show of support?!?!?! [ET]
• Oh, no: This report states that Rihanna and Chris Brown did not sit together. [Page Six]
• Madonna's adoption appeal: Approved. She's in the process of working out the details and getting Mercy to New York. [BBC News, Daily News, People]
• Kristin Davis says of the Sex And The City sequel: "I haven't read the actual script yet; we're supposed to get it this week." But she says some of the characters known for Manolos and martinis might be feeling the sting of the recession: "I don't think we are totally switching to a new shoe brand, but there are definitely some effects of the economic situation that will be felt, but I don't know if [the consequences will be felt] across the board or specific to certain characters." [WWD]
• Kanye West and Chanel Iman: Seen getting cozy. [Page Six]
• Kanye West is also into Lady GaGa: "I'm into her style. It's hot right now. I mean, I'm a guy - so obviously I'm into her." Guess what? they're going on tour together! [Daily News]
• Kanye West performed for 3,000 teens in his hometown of Chicago at an event for the Kanye West Foundation, a nonprofit working to decrease dropout rates and improve literacy. It was co-founded by Kanye's late mother, who worked in education for years. The kids who got to see Kanye were students who had improved their grades and attendance; Chicago has a 50% dropout rate. [MSNBC]
• Were the Usher divorce reports just a rumor? His wife doesn't seem to know anything about it ,and there's no record of him filing… yet. But also, his wife hasn't spoken to him "in a few days." [TMZ]
• According to this report, Usher hasn't filed for divorce yet, but a clerk with Cobb County Superior Court in Georgia says, "we had a telephone conversation last week with an attorney asking how to file for them." Why the divorce? One source rails: "Tameka is crazy. His mother didn't even go to their wedding because she didn't approve!" [Gatecrasher]
• BREAKING: Anne Hathaway upstaged by raccoon. [Page Six]
• Sonny Bono's widow — Congresswoman Mary Bono — says she "loves and supports Chaz" — meaning Chastity Bono, who is transitioning from female to male. [TMZ]
• Did Chastity Bono's rep want cash for her sex change story? [National Enquirer]
• Even though Kate Winslet said "it's very tempting to have a nanny and live in a gated community," her rep clarifies: "'She has a part-time nanny." [Daily Mail]
• Doug Reinhardt's rep released a statement about his relationship with Paris Hilton, which reads: "Doug refuses to take part of this ridiculous media circus. He wishes Paris and all of her future boyfriends the best of luck." All together now: Oh. Snap. [TMZ]
• Paris Has already moved on, to Madrid Real soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo, who is what is technically referred to as a serious hottie. [Page Six]
• This story about a late mortician accused of misusing burial funds is "notable" because the estranged wife of the man, J. Jeffrey Fretti, is named Tamara, and she is the sister of Katie Holmes. [Toledo Blade]
• When it comes to dating someone much older, Evan Rachel Wood, 21, who was with Marilyn Manson, 40, says: "I don't think it works. I think it's a bad idea. I think as long as you learn from it - good or bad experience - it's an experience, and you should take something away from it." Of the new Woody Allen film Whatever Works, Evan says: "I spoke to Larry [David] about it and told him if the relationship went any further sexually I wouldn't have done the movie... That's one of the things that I liked about the relationship in the movie; it never crosses that line or gets creepy." [Daily Express]
• Wow. According to this article, "Before [Jada Pinkett Smith's new show] Hawthorne and HBO's The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency debuted a few months ago (starring Jill Scott), it had been 35 years since an African-American woman was the lead in a TV drama." [Newsweek]
• Even though Carrie Prejean has been telling everyone she and her new boobs were offered Playboy, insiders say there was never an offer on the table. Hmm. [Extra]
• A "select band of Los Angeles wordsmiths," Lab Twenty6, has refused to let Peaches Geldof join their discussion group. [The Sun]
• Joy Behar rarely leaves her neighborhood. So what? [NY Mag]
• Eva Mendes got all verklempt while discussing her work with The Art of Elysium, an organization that encourages working actors, artists and musicians to voluntarily dedicate their time and talents to children battling serious medical conditions. Thank God for waterproof mascara," she sniffed. [WWD]
• Katie "Jordan" Price bought a horse, which this paper claims "will ease the pain of her split with hubby Peter Andre." [The Sun]
• Weird: Someone is trying to form a group called New Kids On The Block. So the real New Kids On The Block are suing. [TMZ]
• Singer Nivea Hamilton and model Lauren London are both pregnant by rapper Lil Wayne. For some reason we thought he reproduced when you spilled water on him? [Perez]
• Amy Poehler will star in Lunch Lady, a flick based on a children's graphic novel series — titles include Lunch Lady and the League of Librarians and Lunch Lady and the Cyborg Substitute, both of which are due this summer. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Matt Damon might play Lance Armstrong in a biopic. Do we approve? [Mirror]
• "DJ Jazzy Jeff says his weekend performance in Kansas City was stopped because of censorship, not race." [AP]
• Blind item! "Which very married actor had a flirtatious folly with a gay hairdresser?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Those are two very different communities, but something they both share is love of celebration. My relationship with the gay community is long-standing and loyal, and I love them very much. I consider my music to be very gay, and I love that it is gay." — Lady GaGa on being embraced by the gay and hip-hop "communities." [USA Today]
• "She's just a great, crazy character who is psychologically complex, a textbook sociopath. But she's charming and seemingly sweet, even when she does really bad things. Who wouldn't want to play a character like that?" — Gina Gershon, on playing socialite Pat Allanson in the Lifetime mobie Everything She Ever Wanted. [USA Today]
• "[I] will sometimes hold off on the insulin, which will jack my blood sugar level up to the low 200 range. It's like how a prizefighter will want to go into the ring with his blood sugar levels high. It gives you the stamina of a bull. So, yes, sometimes I will endanger my own life to pleasure a woman." — Bret Michaels. [Perez]
• "Music is about listening not looking. That's why I wore these huge baggy dresses on stage with The Cranberries… I basically had the wrong kind of love and attention around me. I lived six years in a bus with strangers, touring the world with the band, seeing the insides of hotels. I lost touch with my friends. I was lonely all that time. I went nuts I was so lonely. These were days before mobile phones so I had to find a phonebox just to talk to my parents. I lost a lot of my youth." — from a worthwhile interview with Dolores O'Riordan. [Independent]
• Yeah, we played [brother and sister], but at least we're not related in real life! Good God! I thought it would be creepy for him, but it's not." — Evan Rachel Wood on dating former Once and Again costar Shane West. [NY Daily News]
• "Being nice and adorable isn't funny. I enjoyed being a bitch. Everyone does. They are always better written and it's a relief… Then they said, 'Here's this woman director we like, Anne Fletcher. Can she come and meet you?' I met her and within five minutes, she said the word 'vagina,' and I'm like (her voice rising giddily), 'I love her.' " — Sandra Bullock, on why she wanted to do The Proposal. [USA Today]
• "I may never hear that word 'mom.' But being a parent is not about breeding. It's about caring. And it's easy to say, but it's harder to do. When you don't have that title, you flounder and it hurts. But this is the best test of being a parent. And I just have to keep reminding myself I don't care what I get. I care what I give." — Sandra Bullock, on being a stepmom. [USA Today]
• "I get more naked this season than I did last season. We have a really great crew and everyone's really respectful. It's not an issue for me… [But] I work my ass off. I'm very careful about what I eat, and I work out a lot. My costume entails bathing suits, short-shorts and nude scenes, come on! I don't want to be perpetuating the myth that women actually do look exactly like the way they look in magazines and on television through absolutely no effort!" — Anna Paquin on True Blood. [E!]

• New day, same rumor: The "doc" is a diva. So. Did Katherine Heigl get dropped from the cast of cringe-inducing flick Valentine's Day because she wanted too much cash? Her rep says:

"The story is ludicrous." And: "Katherine walked away from this project for multiple reasons." Hmm. Julia Roberts, Jennifer Garner, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher, Shirley MacLaine and Bradley Cooper are still in. [Page Six]

• Celebrities are speaking out about the gay marriage ban in California: Melissa Etheridge says: "So, will anyone be sleeping better tonight? Those full of hate and fear will surely be disappointed that 18,000 same sex couples will be living in wedded bliss, kissing their spouses goodnight, checking off those little 'married' boxes on all those forms we fill out nowadays. That's really going to drive them crazy." Lance Bass says: "The decision to uphold Prop 8 is deeply disappointing. I can only hope to one day live in a country that grants equal rights, opportunity, and freedom to all citizens." [Radar Online]
• George Clooney says of the ruling on Prop 8: "This just should invigorate people to get it back on the ballot in 2010 and 2012 and every two years until all people are allowed a basic civil right." [E!]
• Twitterholics Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are threatening to quit Tweeting if Twitter goes forward with its plans to launch a TV show. [NY Mag]
• More Demi Moore: She will make the trip to the UK to watch Susan Boyle in the Britain's Got Talent finale. Simon Cowell offered her (and hubs Ashton) first-class plane tickets. [The Sun]
• This video clip may or may not be footage from the new Amy Winehouse documentary Saving Amy. One thing is for sure: It's boring. If you want to see Amy's dad talk about the villa in St. Lucia for 10 seconds and then see Amy say something unintelligible for about 2 seconds, then go ahead and click. [ONTD]
• News you cannot use: Someone somewhere says of Jesus Luz: "Leave it to Madonna to find the only Jew who's a hot Latino with an uncut penis." Brazilians aren't Latino, though, right? [Village Voice]
• Speaking of Madonna: Artist Peter Howson has created an oil painting of her Madgesty in the nude with her ex, Guy Ritchie, touching her thigh. Honestly? It doesn't exactly look like her. But it's up for auction this week, if you have £22, 000. [Mirror]
• Oh! Jesus Luz speaks! He and Madonna bought jewelry together, but it's not because they're getting married: "I received these pieces of jewellery because they are inspired by Kabbalah," he says. "If I want to present them to somebody, it could be my mother or a friend of mine. I don't have any marriage plans or any wedding present." [Mirror]
• Hugh Jackman's nine-year-old son uttered the following: "Hey dad, 2 o'clock, hot chicks." And, apparently, the kid, Oscar, went up to the girls and said: "Hey, you know that my dad's Wolverine?" [Mirror]
• Michael Lohan was arrested last month when he threatened to kill his fiancée and himself when she tried to dump him. Not good. [Page Six]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are moving to a bigger house in preparation for the twins. [Daily Mail]
• It's not a Mariah Carey gossip item without hairdresser drama and diamonds! [Page Six]
• Robert Pattinson may or may not have hooked up with a blonde chick when he was in the South of France for the Cannes Film Festival. Star spoke to the lady in question, who says: "We had a great time together! Rob's very sweet." Scintillating. [Star]
• If you see a "parade of rats," follow them! You might find Gisele Bundchen, Michael Cera, Rupert Everett and NBC news anchor Lester Holt, who are all experiencing a serious rat problem on their street in the West Village in NYC. [Page Six]
• Russell Brand, who hosted the MTV Awards last year, has advice for Andy Samberg, who's hosting the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday: "Do not jokingly criticise the Jonas Brothers — you will receive less-threatening death threats. There's nothing worse than opening a letter and then seeing in it a death threat. You think, 'Hold on a minute. I wasn't looking forward to the letter particularly. Now I fear death. Ruins a perfectly good read.'" [Mirror]
• Hey, Page Six: This item is called "Kelis & Nas Celebrate Their Baby," yet they're in the middle of a bitter divorce! [Page Six]
• Kevin Kreider, brother of Kate of Jon & Kate Plus 8, says the kids are being exploited and viewed as commodities. Sigh. [CBS News]
• Kirsten Dunst is selling her L.A. home on Nichols Canyon Road; it's got 3 bedrooms and 2 baths, exposed beams in the living room and cute outdoor spaces. Kiki is accepting offers starting at $1,700,000. Go! [Real Estalker]
• Kim Kardashian is not engaged. She doesn't know when she will get engaged. And yet. She is picking out rings. "It's just easier," she explains. "Isn't it easy if someone's like, 'This is exactly what I want.' It'll make your life so easy." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Breaking news from Lady GaGa: "I like boys that look like girls." [Fox News]
• Gavin Rossdale is on the road touring to support his new album, and little Kingston is with him! "Sometimes we'll go to museums of modern art so he can see a big splash of color on the walls… I found a way to kill some time in New York by asking him to look out the window and tell me every time he saw a yellow taxi," says Gavin. "He was so into it. We had a really good time." [People]
• Kelly Osbourne's fiancé saved her dog's life! Little Goldie was bitten by a rattlesnke and Luke rushed the pup to the vet. Kelly Twittered: "Thanks to Luke we got her there just in time. Luke was amazing, if he was not there I don't know what would have happened!" [The Sun]
• "Lifetime Movie Network Tuesday announced plans to air two fashion-themed murder mysteries this summer." LOL. Maggie Lawson stars as Lacey Smithsonian, a Washington, D.C., fashion reporter whose beat turns deadly. LOL! Mark Consuelos, Mario Cantone, Finola Hughes, Mary McDonnell and Victor Webster will be cast in the flicks, titled Killer Hair and Hostile Makeover. LOL. [UPI]
• Jodie Sweetin — aka Stephanie Tanner — has penned a book, UnSweetined, which details her past as a meth, coke, ecstasy and booze abuser who finally straightened out after she discovered she was pregnant. [Page Six]
• James Gandolfini, Will Ferrell, Nicole Kidman, Anne Hathaway and Kevin Spacey will be presenting at the Tony awards. Fingers crossed that they'll all do a musical number together! [Variety]
• James Brown died Christmas 2006, but legal battles over his estate have lived on. Yesterday a judge ruled that half of his assets will go to his charitable trust; a quarter to his wife and young son, and the rest to Brown's adult children. [USA Today]
• Ed McMahon's lawsuit — regarding slipping on a ramp-like staircase at a mansion and hurting his neck — has been settled. [TMZ]
• The promoter who sold tickets to see a fake Toni Braxton sing says that the Braxton impersonator was unaware of his scheme; she thought that everyone knew that she was an impersonator, and didn't find out until later that people purchased tickets expecting to see the real Toni Braxton. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Starting today, fans who visit Graceland get to go in the stables. [USA Today]
• Blind item! "Which beauty now going through a divorce told a pal over lunch four years ago, 'I've had several abortions. If my husband ever found out, he'd throw me out of the house?' Looks like he found out." [Page Six]
• "It's all about history. What we as mothers are doing is creating history with our kids that we can look back on. When they're adults I want my kids to say 'Mom worked so hard, but she was always there for us.'" — Britney Spears, who says she was encouraged by Madonna to take her kids on tour. [The Sun]
• "Playing a bad guy is always a freeing experience - because you don't have the same envelope of restrictions that you have playing a good guy." — John Travolta, who plays a bad guy in The Taking Of Pelham 123. [Mirror]
• "You want people to talk about you, because once they stop talking about you that's when you're really in trouble! I'm happy to have people talk about all the craziness they want to talk about, whether it's things like every year we're getting divorced or we're an open family or Will's gay, or I'm gay." — Jada Pinkett Smith, who graces the new cover of Ebony. [Just Jared]
• "I was on my way to a festival [in Chicago], I was on the street and he (a police officer) stopped me. He said 'put your ass up against the fence,' there were kids around so I guess he wanted me to cover up my butt — quite a bit was showing. But it was quite an epic moment for me, I was up against the fence going ‘it's fashion, I'm an artist!' I signed his ridiculous piece of paper and left. I was being wildly disrespectful to him, he looked like some park ranger on a bike." — Lady GaGa. [Fox News]
• "I had a gentleman turn up on my doorstep all the way from Peru. He said he'd seen my clip on YouTube and had to come congratulate me. That was pretty weird." —Susan Boyle. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I met Randy Jackson, and he asked me to sing on American Idol. I was like, 'Um, I'll stick to dancing.'" —Shawn Johnson. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I've always approached this from the place where I don't compete with other girls. I don't compete with other people in the industry, I compete with myself. If I looked at every other girl in the entertainment industry as competition, my life would be really lonely. I wouldn't have some of the coolest friends that I'm so glad I've gotten to know over the last couple of years. ... It's really awesome to get to hang out with those girls [Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez] and to call them friends." — Taylor Swift. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "I'm home from the hospital and feeling great. Thanks for all the love and support!" — Elizabeth Taylor, via Twitter. [Reuters, Liz Taylor's Twitter]
• "I couldn't marry John Mayer, it'd be so intense. I'd definitely shag the shit out of him though. I'll go on record saying that." — Katy Perry. [The Sun via Complex]

• Lindsay Lohan ended a relationship with a woman a month ago and has been accused of being too thin... so clearly she's pregnant. She's also supposedly distraught because she doesn't know who the daddy is.

• When reporters asked Linds about her bun in the oven, she just laughed. We don't blame her. [E!]
• Billy Arnone, Carrie Prejean's brother, posted a video on YouTube today to defend his sister and promote his dirt bike racing career. He says they were "raised right" and adds, "I've never been a skinhead." Thanks for clearing that up. [TMZ]
• In this video, recorded from an Eminiem radio appearance, he says, "we're taking callers now, any women who want to be peed on." When the host says Mariah Carey is on the line, Eminem says he's already peed on her. [YouTube]
• Though Michael Jackson is being sued over his sold-out London comeback concerts, he has already started rehearsals with choreographer and director Kenny Ortega, who worked on Dirty Dancing, High School Musical and MJ's previous Dangerous and HIStory tours. [The L.A. Times]
• Just so you know, Vanessa Hudgens, "will show nudity in a film when the time is right," she said. "Right now, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it, but like I said, when the time's right, if it's an amazing movie that I'm really passionate about and that's what it calls for, then we'll see." [E!]
• Megan Fox complained, "It pisses me when people fucking complain that I'm too beautiful to get a part. That's bullshit." She added, "And if I weren't attractive I wouldn't be working at all." [The Sun]
• Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 says she is horrified by claims that she had an affair with her bodyguard, Steve Neild. "Of course, [Neild and his family] travel with us at times, and we've spent holidays together, because, in this situation, your circle grows smaller and smaller, and it's very natural to become friends with your manager, your publicist, your security team ... they're the only people you have left. And now they're coming under fire." says Kate. "I'm totally panicking, and thinking, 'We are going to lose our last set of friends.' I keep calling them, begging, 'Seriously, I'm so sorry. Don't run away from us.' They keep saying, ‘We're fine, we're fine.' But they have paparazzi in front of their house. It's so upsetting." [People]
• Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard has revealed that she just got married and is 5 and a half months pregnant. She married photographer Sacha Brown in Indonesia. In keeping with local custom, she wore a black, long-sleeved tunic, a sarong and a white veil, and Brown wore a hat, a sword, and a sarong. "A long, manly sarong," said Beard. "He felt he looked like Aladdin!" [People]
• Rachel Hunter says her wedding to hockey player Jarrett Stole will take place in Northern California in mid-August, but her guests may want to wait to book tickets. "I am terrible" at wedding planning, Hunter says. "I need to be given less time than a year to plan, because I change my mind so often. It was going to be in Mexico, but we decided otherwise. I've made seven changes to the location." [People]
• Bob Barker may not come to the Game Show Awards this weekend because Betty White might be there. He and White are feuding over an elephant he wants relocated from the L.A. Zoo. [BuzzerBlog]
• When Matthew Reeve, son of Christopher Reeve, runs the New York City marathon to raise money for his late father's foundation, which supports people with spinal cord injuries, he will wear number 1275, the represent the 1.275 million people with spinal cord injuries. [People]
• In the trial over Brooke Astor's son allegedly changing her will, film producer John Hart testified that even though she'd met Matthew Broderick many times, at a dinner after The Producers she didn't recognize him. Hart says Broderick said to her, "Brooke, I'm Matthew. You love me. What did you think of the play?" [Gothamist]
• When asked if he would be in the Sex and the City sequel Jason Lewis said, "[There's] a good chance, yeah." He also congratulated Sarah Jessica Parker on her new twins and said, "She's a really neat lady. She's obviously prolific in what she's done - she's successful - but when she brought the kid to the set, mom would come on. She's very sweet with children, you can see that joy and innocence come out of her." [PopSugar]
• "We're very excited," said Kristin Davis of her Sex and the City co-star's new babies. "I [will] get to hold one, when Sarah is holding the other." [People]
• Joseph Fiennes is starring in a London production of Cyrano de Bergerac. He says of his character's signature feature, "Actually, we are just using my nose... No, I've had this extraordinary death mask cast done of my face in plaster to make this prosthetic nose, about four inches long." [The Telegraph]
• Prince Williams made a surprise visit to 109-year-old Catherine Masters because she wrote to the Queen politely pointing out that she had sent her the same birthday card for the past five years. The two had tea and talked, "He told me he liked making shepherd's pie and said he used a masher to mash the potatoes," she said, "but I told him he was doing it wrong - he should use a fork to fluff the potatoes." [The Daily Mail]
• Depeche Mode canceled an Athens concert Tuesday after lead singer David Gahan got sick and had to be taken to the hospital. [Yahoo]
• Ricky Gervais says of his Night At The Museum 2 co-star Ben Stiller, "The idea was to put him off and make him laugh... the best thing about working with Ben was putting him off. He takes it so seriously and he's such a professional." [The Star]
• Dave Gahan, who once overdosed on drugs, says of his Depeche Mode bandmate Martin Gore quitting drinking three years ago, "He is a changed man. There's a different side of Martin that has always been there, but sometimes it gets clouded when the drinking and stuff becomes more important than anything else. I think it got to that phase on the last tour, and Martin was the one that stood up and said, 'You know what? I've got to stop this.' It's sort of one of those cliches, one of those myths, that you have to be really messed up to do something cool artistically." [CNN]
• Nathan Lane and Bebe Neuwirth will star as the parents in the new Addams Family musical. [The Daily Express]
• French icon Isabelle Huppert has been named jury president of the Cannes Film Festival, replacing Sean Penn. "It was not easy to find someone after Sean Penn," festival director Thierry Fremaux said. "Sean was great as a president. We'll miss him this year." [Yahoo]
• Linda Fiorentino's ex-boyfriend, FBI agent Mark Rossini will be sentenced on Thursday. He is charged with illegally accessing confidential FBI information for a person described as Madame X, who turned out to be his girlfriend, Fiorentino. [Star]
• Oprah appears on the new cover of O Magazine with a pack of puppies, including her dog Sadie, who she adopted after the photo shoot. "Out of all the pups in that picture, Sadie was the one I felt an instant connection with." Eventually all the other puppies were adopted. Oprah adopted Sadie's brother too, but he died a few weeks later of the parvo virus. [People]
• Jessica Biel had to be filmed driving 1929 BMW roadster in her film Easy Virtue, but they didn't let her actually drive. "I don't drive stick well," she said. "They wouldn't let me do it! The guy who owned the car was like, 'Please don't mess up my baby.'" [Style.com]
• Ally Shapiro, the teenage daughter of the Real Housewives' Jill Zarin, did an email interview about what it's like to be on the show. She says, "My mom is 'exactly the same in her house as outside of it.' Have you read To Kill a Mockingbird? Atticus Finch, anyone? Well, this is the Jewish-momma version. She is loud, truthful, and loving, exactly as you would expect her. And even if I don't agree with her or find her annoying, she is definitely NOT a hypocrite, something she should be proud of." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Kelly Bensimon says that even though she seemed obnoxious and slightly nuts on The Real Housewives of New York, that's not the real her. "I was so guarded, I came across as not being me," she said. "Everyone I know was like, ‘That's not you! That's the not the fun Kelly who's always on Kelly time!' I didn't know these women. I was treading in murky waters and I didn't know how to navigate... For next season, I want people to see the real Kelly." So far, "another season of New York is not locked for anybody yet," she explains, but "I would love to be a part of the brand." [People]
• "I'm happy to have people talk about all the craziness they want to talk about, whether it's things like every year we're getting divorced, or we're an open family or Will's gay, or I'm gay," says Jada Pinkett Smith. "You want people to talk about you, because once they stop talking about you, that's when you're really in trouble!" [E!]

[Los Angeles, May 5. Image via Getty]

• As you'll recall, Shia LaBeouf injured his hand in a car crash in July 2008. He says: "I'll never be back to 100 percent or have full recovery." And:

"I can't zipper my zipper or button my shirt without extreme pain. But I chalk it up as my own s—-. These things had to happen. This accident is what I needed in my life. I'm not in control. For the first time, I can admit that and know that. I'm a fallible individual, and the hand is like a tattoo that says MISTAKE. It's something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life." [People via Playboy]

• "When I first started the role of Wolverine, back for the first X-Men movie, I watched a lot of Mike Tyson videos in my trailer," says Hugh Jackman."The way he just goes straight in. I kept saying to the writers, 'Don't give me long, choreographed fights for the sake of it. Don't make the fights pretty.' Like Tyson, if Wolverine wants to take your . . . head off, he's going to do it." [LA Times]
• Even though Tyra Banks' stalker was found guilty, he won't go to jail: He'll "get help" for his "unhealthy obsession." [NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Madonna is not leaving her kids with Guy Ritchie while she tours this summer in Europe. She Twittered: "They go where I go." [Perez, The Star]
• Michael Jackson is afraid to fly to the UK because he's terrified of SWINE FLU. [Telegraph]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: When Chris Brown calls her producer looking for her, Rihanna says, "Tell him I'm not here." [OK!]
• Lindsay Lohan is being painted as "desperate" and "crafty": She has arranged to be in London next month at the same time as Samantha Ronson. LL will be doing a shoot for British Vogue; Sam is headed to do a series of DJ gigs. [Daily Mail]
• This report claims that Lindsay Lohan is such a train wreck, Harry Morton, who dated her 3 years ago about bought her an engagement ring, now sorta denies it: "I didn't really date her . . . I really didn't," the Hard Rock Café heir says. "It's embarrassing being known for that. I'd like to be known for stuff I've created or things I've done. I don't want to be known for that. No way." [Page Six]
• Andy Samberg once found $5,000 extra in his bank account. He assumed it was an error. After four months, nothing happened, so he kept it. [Gatecrasher]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of octuplets, is adding to her posse of little mouths to feed: She's getting a shih tzu. [MSNBC]
• Sandra Bullock is being inducted into the Warren Easton High School hall of fame later this month. She's donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to the Louisiana school since Katrina ravaged the area in 2005. A spokesman from the school says: "Sandra did not attend Warren Easton High School, but we proudly claim her as one of our own." [Daily Express]
• Sad face: Singer Kelis, who is 7 months pregnant, has filed for divorce from her husband, the rapper Nas. [TMZ, People, NY Daily News]
• Q.You play the villain Nero in Star Trek. How would he fare against another bad guy you've played, Chopper? In a steel cage match, who wins? Eric Bana: Ohhh, goodness. Well...I'll say Chopper. [Laughs] But who knows? [EW]
• Hayden Panettiere has auditioned to be Chace Crawford's leading lady in the Footloose remake. They're both so large eyed and pretty, it's gonna be tough to focus on the singing and dancing. Oh, yeah, the movie is a full-blown musical. [E!]
• It's hard to even read this story without bursting into laughter at the picture of Robert Pattinson in his Dali moustache. And then the headline has the words "gay sex scenes." LOL. [LA Times]
• Kanye West's new book, Thank You And You're Welcome, is out now. Here is a snippet: "Love your haters. They're your biggest fans!" And: "Never complain without offering a solution! I'm often seen as complaining in situations when I lose. I see it more as an explanation of why I should have won." [Men.Style.com]
• Ousted ANTM contestant Fo (my fave!) is pissed that she was sent home: "Honestly, I don't want to sound too bitchy or catty, but I do think Celia [Ammerman] should've gone home before me, or instead of me, because I can put on a pair of six-inch heels and be tall, [but she] can't change. Age isn't something you can drastically change." [E!]
• Roman Polanski has not taken any steps to surrender next week: He's due in US court if he wants his case examined, but if he sets foot on US soil, he faces immediate arrest as a fugitive. He has not contacted the court or the LA County Sheriff's Dept. [LA Times]
• "Rebecca Romijn Lost 60 Lbs. after Twins – Without Exercise!" [People]
• Jada Pinkett returns to TV for the first time since the '90s with a TNT show HawthoRNe, in which she plays a hospital nursing director. [USA Today]
• Real Housewives gossip: Jill Zarin was "acting like a total nightmare" in a high-end boutique. [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate Olsen's boyfriend, Nate Lowman, has created a piece of art which mocks Lizze Grubman's SUV accident, an its in the MOMA. Grubman says: "I don't understand how a picture of me during a tragic time in my life can be considered art." [Page Six]
• Jim Carrey is in talks to star in The Beaver, a flick which "enters on the relationship between a man and a beaver puppet he wears on his arm, which he talks to and treats as a companion." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Here's video of Johnny Knoxville discussing the documentary he produced, The Wild And Wonderful Whites Of West Virginia. The Whites are a family known for wreaking havoc. [NY Times]
• A newspaper in NJ is mad that Jay Leno made fun of their headlines: Page on claimed "School taxes going up" and page two's headline was "School Taxes Going Down." A spokesperson for the paper said: "Apparently Jay and the NBC folks didn't bother to read the actual stories, and instead got a great laugh out of what they thought was some kind of hilarious blunder on our part. Two different school districts. Two different tax situations. Is it really that complicated?" [Poynter]
• Miranda Kerr is not engaged to Orlando Bloom or publicly trying to get pregnant, but she was pestered by a reporter into saying that she eventually wants kids. Then she was asked about Heidi Klum's pregnancy. [E!]
• "It looks like Linda Hogan isn't the only thing her 19-year-old boyfriend is allowed to ride — a judge just blocked the Hulkster's attempt to keep the youngster from driving his cars too." You stay classy, TMZ. [TMZ]
• Farrah Fawcett's son Redmond O'Neal will enter rehab instead of going to jail. [People]
• Leonard Nimoy will receive a "special gong" at this year's Saturn Awards, given out by the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Films. [Mirror]
• Trivia! Elliott Gould is the only non-Muppet actor to be in two separate Muppet movies. [BlackBook]
• Blind item! "Which closeted TV icon should be more careful about whom he dates? He has been squiring an infamous gay bartender around town, and everyone's noticing." [Gatecrasher]
• "Everybody has a little mischief in them - I do. I like to live on the edge a little bit, and other times I think I'm boring and passive like everybody else. I've been working 15 months straight, so these days I feel like all I can do is have a day at work and then go to bed." — Ryan Reynolds. [Mirror]
• "I've been very fortunate to get to know both Schreiber brothers very well." — Carla Gugino, who has done nude scenes with both Pablo and Liev Schreiber. [NY Mag]
• "If you ever catch your present girlfriend at a sex shop with her two ex-boyfriends and they're examining dildos, she's not the right one for you." — Breckin Meyer. [GQ]
• "All these random little stories become someway, somehow newsworthy, so you have to be very secretive about everything." — Robert Pattinson. [E!]
• "I think that my song selections are a little more hip. I know they're more uptempo. They're funky, they're sassy, they've got attitude." — Reba McEntire, who says last year's tour with Kelly Clarkson changed her perspective. [USA Today]
• "I loved rock'n'roll but there's got to be something behind the rock'n'roll. There had to be. We found, of course, that it was the blues. And, therefore, if you really want to learn the basics, then you've got to do some homework. We all felt there was a certain gap in our education, so we all scrambled back to the 20s and 30s to figure out how Charlie Patton did this, or Robert Johnson, who, after all, was and still probably is the supremo. Blues didn't just mean doing one thing or another — there was a lot of room to manoeuvre around the blues." — Keith Richards. [Guardian]
• "It's been two years since I washed my hair." — Prince Harry. [The Sun]
• From Heidi Montag's Twitter: "im so sad to leave mexico! im ready to get out of the pig flue country though… We landed!! Now I am just praying for health!" Also, she thanks God for her "soul mate," Spencer. [People, HeidiMontag's Twitter]
• "When I was four, my dad was performing with Aretha Franklin and, even though he made sure I was backstage with the nanny, I wanted to get up there and dance so much that I ran on to the stage. I was passed around all these great artists and Aretha held on to me so tight. All I wanted to do was entertain." — Miley Cyrus. [Daily Mail]
• "It's interesting, the older I get the younger they get. When I was younger they were all 50 and 60. I'm going to stop there though. I'm heading into dangerous territory if I get any younger." — Michelle Pfeiffer, on her costars. [Daily Express]
• "I'm trying to get [two-year-old son] Kingston to listen to the No Doubt records. He didn't know the No Doubt records, so now I'm forcing him to listen to them, and I think he's going to get into it if I can get him to stop listening to Miley Cyrus. He's listening to the Disney Channel a lot. But I think [nine-month-old son] Zuma is more of a No Doubt fan than King is." — Gwen Stefani. [Mirror via MTV]

• John Mayer did not, repeat did not buy an engagement ring for Jennifer Aniston. [Us Magazine]

• In fact: John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston may have broken up. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Brad Pitt: Considering public office? [Variety]
• Chris Brown pulled out of the Kids' Choice Awards of his own accord; Nickelodeon didn't make the decision. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Chris Brown is firing his manager and looking for a "whole new team." An insider claims he wanted to apologize for the beating earlier and was advised not to… [Page Six]
• Rihanna went out clubbing in West Hollywood Tuesday night. [Concrete Loop]
• "Julia was all smiles for fans and stopped to do a few autographs, but as soon as she stepped inside the cinema her mood changed. She shouted at photographers to leave her alone then asked staff to bring her a glass of champagne before she would answer any questions." — From a spywitness report on Julia Roberts' behavior at the Duplicty premiere in London. [The Sun]
• Here, Julia Roberts dishes on 10 of her favorite leading men. [EW]
• A French "society" magazine is reporting that Prince William will marry Kate Middleton this summer. ZOMG royal wedding askjdkfflasjdk!!! [Daily Mail]
• A hospital official inspected Nadya Suleman's new house yesterday, to insure that it is safe for the octuplets. The babies will be released, two at a time, any day now. [E!]
• Noted marijuana enthusiast Michael Phelps has been interviewed by Matt Lauer; look for footage on the Today show on Friday and Sunday on Dateline. [ET]
• Jesus Luz is back in Rio. He claims he has "always" been interested in kabbalah, before ever meeting Madonna. He's going to be in Brazil for a month while waiting for his work visa, then back to New York! [Made In Brazil]
• Madonna and Guy Ritchie have come to a custody agreement regarding the kids: Rocco and David will live with Madge but guy will get regular visits and see the children in the UK during the holidays. [The Sun]
• If you miss Project Runway, Heidi Klum thinks you should do something about it: "I think that people should be demonstrating outside of [company co-chairman] Harvey Weinstein's house. If it were up to me, it would be on by now." [MSNBC]
• Prince has decided that Prince will appear on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno four times, coinciding with the release of Prince's albums, LotUSFLOW3R and MPLSoUND. Oh, and also coinciding with the last time Leno hosts. [ET]
• Ricky Gervais to appear on the finale episode of The Office? [Mirror]
• Early buzz on Sacha Baron Cohen's new flick, Bruno: "Shocking, jaw-dropping and TOTALLY FUCKING HILARIOUS." [Mother Jones]
• Joaquin Phoenix was rapping at a Miami Beach nightclub when someone in the audience started heckling him, so naturally he jumped into the crowd and had some sort of confrontation before being dragged away by security guards. Did Casey Affleck get the whole thing on video? Yes, yes he did. [Yahoo News via AP, Daily Mail]
• Mickey Rourke will be the Russian villain in Iron Man 2. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Jennifer Saunders and Dawn French spoofed Mamma Mia for Comic Relief and Sienna Miller played the Amanda Seyfried role. Click for the photo, which in itself is funny. [Daily Mail]
• Geri Halliwell dumped her fiancé, but he'd done an interview with an Italian magazine the same day — in which he talked about how much she's "changed his life." Awkward! [The Sun]
• The guy who owns the Beverly Hills mansion where MTV shot the Live From The Hills Season finale says the production company trashed his house. The damage? $158,250.07. Please don't forget the seven cents. [TMZ]
• Balthazar Getty, who recently left Brothers & Sisters, will guest star on an episode of Medium. At least he's working? [EW]
• Kiefer Sutherland used to babysit Gwyneth Paltrow. True story. [The Star]
• 50 Cent and Rick Ross are in a feud and Fiddy's latest move is to release a porn tape featuring Ross's former girlfriend. Classy! [TMZ]
• Lance Bass is a matchmaker. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Jada Pinkett Smith's school is now open, and accepting kids pre-K through sixth grade. Does it have ties with Scientology, you ask? Well, the "study technology" is that developed by L. Ron Hubbard. Pinkett Smith says the school stresses "100 per cent mastery," encouraging students to retake exams until they score 100 per cent. Fun? [Yahoo News via AP]
• Shannen Doherty will return to 90210 for the season finale, if you care. [E!]
• Ashley Jensen is definitely leaving Ugly Betty, because she just got cast as a regular on a new CBS show, Accidentally On Purpose. That's the one where Jenna Elfman plays a movie critic who finds herself "accidentally" knocked up after a fling with a younger man. [EW]
• Beck is playing a charity show tonight, with proceeds going to Educating Children International. Turns out that's a Scientology organization. If you feel icky inside, you're not the only one. [LA Times]
• Jack White of the White Stripes and the Raconteurs has a third band, the Dead Weather. The new group includes Alison Mosshart of The Kills, Dean Fertita of Queens of the Stone Age and Jack Lawrence of The Greenhornes. Album drops in June. [USA Today]
• Handsome devil Chris Cornell has a new album, produced by — wait for it — Timbaland. [Yahoo news via AP]
• Dr. Phil's wife promised some skin care company she'd get them on her husband's show. The company was so psyched, they spent $650,000 on stuff the public would surely be clamoring for. Except the products never made it to the show. So the company is suing. [TMZ]
• Kathy Griffin was booed off the stage at the Apollo Theater in Harlem. [Village Voice]
• Al Reynolds is not getting a reality show, even though he wants one. [Extra]
• If you remember the '90s, then you may remember blond bro rockers Nelson. Well Matthew is getting divorced and asking his wife for spousal support. Yeah. [TMZ]
• Blind item: "Which newly engaged lesbian would be horrified to discover her main squeeze has been sleeping around ... with men?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I've come into my own head a little bit really, being a bit more honest and open, rather than hiding in a crack pipe or wherever and just not turning up most of the time." — Pete Doherty. [The Sun]
• "Artemis has a few really great lines because she plays everything – even the humor – very straight. The one that made me laugh out loud when I read it was when she tells Hippolyta that they shouldn't have let Diana go out into the outside world. Hippolyta asks, 'What could we have done to have stopped her?' And Artemis says, 'Well I could have shot her in the leg with an arrow. Not in an artery, of course.' It's just so deadpan – she wouldn't kill her, but she would've shot her. It's so dry, and it's so honest. And I love that." — Rosario Dawson, on her role in Wonder Woman. [Toon Zone News]
• "It's amazing to me that the tabloids such as the National Enquirer print such negative stories about me and my health when there are so many positive things going on in my life right now. I've started a new chemotherapy and, once again, I am one of the lucky ones with pancreatic cancer that is responding well to the treatment." — Patrick Swayze, who denies he has reached "the end." [People]
• "I'm not quite sure why, but the strongest female characters I've found have predominantly been in period films, more than in modern-day films. At least with the stuff that's been sent to me. I love watching period movies because I think that watching films is about escapism and about fantasy and I find it easier to dive into a fantasy that I don't know anything about, you know, that I don't live day to day. I love that feeling of escapism that period films give me, and that books about different times give me, or paintings give me. But I wasn't setting out to go, 'OK, I'm only going to do period films.' I work in a very instinctual way and I respond to certain things and I have no idea why, but for some reason the last couple of films have all been period." — Keira Knightley, whose new film, Edge Of Love, is set in the 1940s and depicts the poet Dylan Thomas. [Salon]
• "You know, the company that financed this film, they came to me about two weeks before we started filming and said watch out for Malkovich, he's a badass, he will fuck you - I don't know if I'm allowed to curse - he will really, you know, ride a director into the ground. And then he showed up and he was nice and cool and funny and sweet and I never had a single problem. Kind of disappointing; I almost wish that at some point he had really let me have it, but he never did." — Director Sean McGinley, on John Malkovich. [New York Mag]
• "I hate all that calorie counting. I eat what I want and then if my weight starts to go up, I cut back. Of course, I've aged a bit in the face, but not enough to worry about it. I have common sense enough to know that if I'm nearly 70, something has to happen." — Tina Turner. [Daily Mail]

London, November 23. Image via Getty.

• Miley Cyrus's YouTube account was hacked yesterday and a video was posted, claiming that the star is dead. The description reads: "Miley died this morning after being hit by a drunk driver. She always told us if anything ever happened to her then tell her loyal fans first before the public. R.I.P Miley, we'll never forget you!" It's all a lie and has since been pulled down. [Perez Hilton]
• Prince goes door-to-door in LA to preach the word of the Jehovah's Witnesses. Ahem. [Page Six]
• Jessica Alba is delighted by motherhood: "Everything is cute, everything is fun," say says, "including the explosive diarrhea — the best ever." Ew, sounds… shitty. [UPI]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty have split; she's back in London, alone and he may want to get back with his wife, Rosetta. Who will Sienna date next? [Daily Mail]
• Wanda Sykes was at a gay rights rally in Las Vegas on Saturday; she told the crowd: "You know, I don't really talk about my sexual orientation. I didn't feel like I had to. I was just living my life, not necessarily in the closet, but I was living my life. Everybody that knows me personally they know I'm gay. But that's the way people should be able to live their lives." But, Sykes said, Prop 8 made her feel like she was being attacked. "Now, I gotta get in their face," she said. "I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman, and I'm proud to be gay." [Breitbart]

• A Sarah Palin book deal? The governor could get $7 million! [MSNBC]
• Angelina Jolie is "embarrassed" that her father was among the few celebs who supported John McCain. She's supposedly especially dismayed that he called Sarah Palin as running mate "a beautiful choice." Sigh. [Daily Express]
• Sheikh Abdulla Bin Hamad Bin Isa Al-Khalifa, son of the King of Bahrain, is suing Michael Jackson for breach of contract. Will MJ appear in court? Or will the dispute be settled? The sheik wants $7 million… [Daily Express]
• American Idol is filming in L.A. this week and contestants, families and staff have been strictly forbidden to mention the suicide that occurred in front of Paula's home. [TMZ]
• Breaking Hills news from Audrina Patridge: "There is going to be a fifth season. We just found out." She doesn't seem excited. "At one point, all of us were like, 'No, we don't want to do another season,'" she says. "I wanted to do more movies, and Whitney moved to New York and she’s doing her own spin-off. And Lauren’s dating [My Boys actor] Kyle [Howard] but he can’t be on the show because he’s on another show, so that makes it hard." [People]
• Ashlee Simpson thought she was going into labor on Saturday, but it was a false alarm. When will the wee Wentz arrive? [Perez Hilton]
• Kate Hudson: Spotted getting "very friendly" with a female model in Miami. [Perez Hilton]
• Kanye West says he never assaulted a photographer. "I put my hand up to prevent him from taking my image. I didn't assault him… The next morning, plastered across every media outlet... Kanye Gets Arrested. It didn't matter that I wasn't charged or that I hadn't assaulted anyone. All that mattered was that I was arrested." [People]
• The Brit tabs are not happy Kanye has namedropped Princess Diana. [The Sun]
• Hugh Jackman on getting intimate with Nicole Kidman in Australia: "The camera is like a dancer. If you watch any of [Baz Lurhmann's] movies, visually, the love scenes are like poetry." [People]
• Katie Holmes was asked who she considers a role model and answered: "Jada [Pinkett Smith] is so strong. She is a rare woman – a phenomenal friend, mother, wife. She inspires me." [People]
• No one laughed when Tom Cruise appeared in Nazi gear in a trailer for Valkyrie when this NY Times reporter was in a theater on Friday night. [NY Times]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince had a fight; she found a vial of his ex-girlfriend's blood he'd stashed as a memento. The ex is Raveonettes singer Sharin Foo; apparently Hince also kept a bunch of love letters from her as well. A spy says "He could just never bring himself to throw them away." Okay, but… blood? Are pressed flowers and photographs not enough? [The Sun]
• Suge Knight's been charged with two counts of possession of a controlled substance (meth and hydrocodone) and one count misdemeanor battery. These stem from an August incident in Las Vegas, in which he allegedly punched his girlfriend of three years, Melissa Isaac, in the back of the head while they were driving. [TMZ]
• Sigourney Weaver is in Morocco at the eighth Marrakech International Film Festival, where she was being honored. She says: "Things are not at all as simple as we in America perceive them about the role of women. We tend to lump the entire Arab world together, which is inaccurate. They love all the strength in women here; it's very much a part of the culture. It's going to take me a while to decipher all the contradictions from actually being here." [USA Today]
• Kelly Osbourne and Luke Worrall are engaged, if you believe Luke's Facebook profile. [NY Mag]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna's "soulmate," Alex Rodriguez, were at the same "showbiz" party in Miami and now the Brit tabs are saying he was "spellbound" by Gwynnie. [Mirror]
• Speaking of Madonna: She's got a video on her website asking people to donate to her school for girls in Malawi. [Mirror]
• Ridiculously romantic Seal and Heidi Klum are getting married again in Mexico, in the spring. This will be the fourth time. "It's where we got married in May 2005, and it's become a bit of a custom to get married there again every year," he explains. "We love it. It's great saying your vows again. You remember who it was you fell in love with. It's also a good excuse to have a big party, and we have a different theme every year." [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse was on a "wild rampage" on Friday. [Mirror]
• Jean-Claude Van Damme spends most of this Newsweek interview hitting on the reporter, telling her: "I would love to be naked in front of you." He also invites her to the premier of his film and says, "We can have some champagne, you and me." [Newsweek]
• Charlize Theron has been named a United Nations messenger of peace, with a special focus on ending violence against women. [Reuters]
• Uh-oh: Justin Timberlake's New York City restaurant, Southern Hospitality, is being sued by a busboy (on behalf of 50 other employees), claiming the joint has cheated staff out of tips, proper pay and overtime. [Reuters]
• Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe share custody of the kids during the holidays. "I think the most important thing is to be a grownup," she says, "and not let any kind of feelings affect how you deal with your children." [People]
• Some of the original stars of ER are coming back for the final season, but not Julianna Margulies: She was invited but declined, saying, "I feel like I left [my character] Carol Hathaway in the best scenario possible." [AP]
• Isabel Lucas and Shia LaBeouf: It's on. She's the one who was in his car when it got totalled by another vehicle that ran a red light. And yeah, she's in the Transformers sequel. [News.com.au]
• My Big Fat Greek Wedding star Nia Vardalos and husband Ian Gomez have a baby. She was quietly adopted several months ago and is a toddler under five years old. Her rep says: "They are going public now to bring attention to National Adoption Month and the 500,000 children in foster care." [Yahoo News, People]
• Lily Allen's little brother Alfie and his fiancée, Jaime Winstone, had a "public row" after a boozy night. She screamed at him in the street! [Mirror]
• Rapper Nelly has a marketing deal with Ford, but he's not in ads or commercials: He just drives the Flex SUV and puts it in his video. It's promotion, not advertising. See? [Reuters]
• Rob Lowe says he and his kids fled the California wildfire near his home just in time: Apparently the flames were shooting 200 feet, the wind was blowing at 70 miles an hour and "it was just like Armageddon." [AP]
• Snoop Dogg's family and staff were among the 26,000 residents forced to evacuate due to the California wildfires; Snoop wasn't home. [Yahoo News]
• Ann Curry has been climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, Africa, for the Today show and says it's "like climbing a Stairmaster for six hours a day with 20 pounds on your back." Ann, 52, did not have much time to train because the trip was assigned at the last minute. "To be honest with you, I'm not sure I'm going to make it to the top," she says. "But all the pain and suffering is worth it because of the incredible vistas all around me." And: "I miss my family. And also warm showers. And I could really use a stiff drink." [AP]
• Are the Fugees getting back together? Wyclef Jean says maybe! Has he told Lauryn Hill? (He says, "It's not gonna happen without Lauryn.") [ITN]
• Bruno Tonioli says Simon Cowell wants to buy Strictly Come Dancing, the Saturday night rival show of his show, X Factor. Simon's spokesperson says it's a joke, but won't Simon own all TV shows someday? [Telegraph]
• In this interview with Helen Mirren, she talks about her tattoo, prostitutes of a certain age, and what makes her cry. Also, she rides a motorcycle in a new children's movie called Inkheart, and says: "I didn’t have to learn [to ride it] because I already had a motorbike when I was in my early twenties. So I thought, I don’t care what else happens, I want to be on that motorbike again." [Times]
• Oh, and here's Helen Mirren talking about what she was like as a schoolgirl. [Daily Mail]
• A car owned by David Beckham when he was 19 years old is up for sale. It's a 1994 Volkswagen Golf. No one wants to buy it. [The Sun]
• The house where David Beckham grew up is also up for sale. It's a three bedroom priced at £1million — about four times what it's worth — because the owners are trying to cash in on the fact that David Beckham lived there. For two years. As a baby. [Daily Mail]
• A new character on Lost could be part of the Dharma Initiative. [EW]
• Celebs sometimes edit their own Wikipedia entries, but, more often, a publicist does it for them. Apparently the head of communications at Wikipedia gets a few complaints a week from star reps asking for changes. [Yahoo News]
• Bernie Mac's daughter says: "When I turn a corner, I'm still thinking, 'I'm going to see him.' I've had moments where I've woken up and I've sworn I could feel him smacking me on the back of the leg. I'll say, 'That hurts. I told you to stop. You're still so heavy-handed, even on the other side.' […] He was my dad, my first guy I ever fell in love with, my protector. He was the one I laughed with. It's going to be very hard to live without that." [People]
• Melissa Joan Hart's got two small sons and says "It's a constant workout. You don't have time to eat because you're chasing them all the time!" [People]
• Debbie Matenopolous of E! and formerly of The View is about to be single again: Her husband has filed for divorce. [UPI]
• Paul McCartney wants to release "Carnival Of Light," a 14-minute experimental track the Beatles recorded in 1967 but never released. The recording includes distorted guitar, organ sounds, gargling and shouts of "Barcelona!" and "Are you all right?" A hit, to be sure. [AP]
• Kevin Costner and his band Modern West released a CD last week. The sound is "rock-roots with elements of country." Costner says: "When I'm making a movie I'm playing whoever I'm playing. But my personality comes out on stage when I play live. That's when you see me the clearest." [AP]
• Former Guns N' Roses drummer Steven Adler was charged with heroin possession; he's hoping to head to rehab instead of jail and then maybe back with the band. [Reuters]
• Former Soul train host Don Cornelius: Charged with spousal battery, assault with a deadly weapon and dissuading a witness from making a police report. He could face up to one year in prison for each of the five misdemeanor charges. [AP]
• A writer visits Jamie Oliver's Ministry of Food in Rotherham to find out if the project — a walk-in center on the town's main square offering advice and free cooking lessons to anyone who cares to sign up — is working. [Guardian]
• Terri Irwin: Not looking for romance. [UPI]
• Did Terri Irwin "ignore" Bob Irwin, Steve Irwin's dad, at Steve Irwin Day celebrations at Australia Zoo? Bob wasn't mentioned at all and was not seated with Terri or his grandchildren. [News.com.au]
• Legal drama involving the estate of Don Ho. [UPI]
• Believe it or not, cheesy '80s series Greatest American Hero is becoming a feature film. Oh, and there will be an A-Team flick as well as a 21 Jump Street movie. All of your memories, rehashed. [LA Times]
• Speaking of remakes, a producer has offered Arnold Schwarzenegger a cameo in a remake of Conan The Barbarian. The dude says: "He was smiling, but he didn't say yes." [Daily Express]
• "I said, 'Great, I'll do it!' It's very exciting to do something where no artifice is required. The only artifice is going to be your pretending to be that person. You're not going to have any other physical props, nothing to make you more attractive. Because attractive isn't the issue here." — Kristin Scott Thomas, on finding out she wouldn't be wearing any makeup for her role in I've Loved You So Long. [Washington Post]
• "Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and have an idea and have to get up and record it straight away before I forget it. Or with 'Hero,' I was in the studio and someone was telling me about this film Hero with Dustin Hoffman in it. I took a walk to the bathroom and when I came back I had this idea for a song, and that was what then became 'Hero.'" — Mariah Carey. [Daily Express]
• "One time I met this guy in a restaurant on a date and he was really fun. Then we hung out at another bar and, as we were saying our goodnights, he says: 'So, are you coming home with me or not?' I was like: 'WHAT?' To me, that was probably the most bizarre ending to a date I've ever been on. Was I a prude? Oh well, that was the end of him. He lost me in one night." — Kate Hudson on her "date from hell." [Daily Mail]
• "He’s a man and he will always want more sex than he gets. Pete might not get it often… but when he does it’s worth it." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [The Sun]
• "I don't know what the motivation was. I remember it was something really vulgar - I mean shockingly so, like, 'Whoa, what, who are you?' I don't really know that person [Lohan]. I only met her, like, three times." — Scarlett Johansson, on the incident in which Lindsay Lohan scrawled "Scarlett is a bloody cunt" on a bathroom wall two year ago. [New York Post]
• "I studied homeopathy for years and years. Herbs and all kinds of acupuncture, acupressure, alternative medicine. I think it's just better to treat the whole person. And the wonderful thing I've seen over the last 20 years is how mainstream medicine has really opened its doors to alternative medicine." — Sissy Spacek. [NY Post
• "PAPARAZZI GIVE REAL PHOTOGRAPHERS A BAD NAME. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, THEIRS ARE WORTH A THOUSAND DOLLARS… LET US NOT FORGET THE PAPS KILLED PRINCESS DIANA. WHEN WILL THERE BE A LAW PASSED THAT SIMPLY ENFORCES THAT SOMEONE HAS TO ASK TO TAKE A PHOTOGRAPH OF YOU. THAT WOULD SEEM LIKE COMMON COURTESY. RIGHT NOW THE PAPS ARE ABOVE THE LAW AND THE PEOPLE THEY SHOOT ARE BELOW IT. WHAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL IS PICTURES TAKEN WITH THE INTENT TO SELL….LIKE DRUGS WITH THE INTENT TO SELL… THE COPS WERE VERY CORDIAL BUT TOLD ME THEY HAD TO ARREST ME BECAUSE A COMPLAINT WAS FILED. THAT WAS THE BOGUS PART. THEY PLACED ME IN HANDCUFFS AND DROVE ME TO THE STATION. THEY SPOKE ABOUT HOW THIS WAS OBVIOUSLY A PUBLICITY STUNT BY THE PHOTOGRAPHER BUT THEY STILL HAD TO GO THOUGH THE MOTIONS." — Kanye West. [Perez Hilton]

• Samantha Ronson has released a statement on her MySpace page, condemning the flour attack on Lindsay Lohan: "I'm pissed at the bag of flour thrown on Lindsay last night," Ronson writes, "Not because I got powdered down, but because the girl who threw it acted like an animal herself. I take that back, it's an insult to animals to group her in with them, my dog is FAR more civilized than that person. I would have more respect for them if they didn't use other people to get their point across." [Ronson's MySpace]

• Meanwhile, Lindsay's ex-boyfriend, Wilmer Valderrama, is sticking up for Lindsay's relationship with Ronson: "Samantha has been a very good friend of mine for many years and Lindsay is one of my loves. She's a love of mine that I will always hold very dear to me. Honestly, as long as they're both happy."[ONTD]

• Please don't mess with KANYE WEST: he posted an all-caps entry on his blog in order to explain his arrest for punching a paparazzi late Thursday night, claiming that he put his hand up to cover a paparazzi's lens, and in all the commotion, the camera must have scraped the photographer's nose. [DListed]

• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have nothing but love for their friend, Jada Pinkett Smith. Holmes describes Pinkett Smith as a "powerhouse" who "inspires me," while Cruise finds Jada to be "an extraordinary woman and an amazing mother." Will there ever be a day when the Cruises and the Pinkett-Smiths aren't talking about how in love with each other they are? Ever? EVER?![People]

• Ex-Guns N'Roses drummer Steven Adler will attempt to avoid jail time on a heroin possession charge by entering a drug treatment facility. Adler's lawyer, Barry Gerald Sands, claims that Adler wants to get clean and reunite with his former bandmates: ""When he gets sober they'll accept him into the band and then they'll do a comeback album and a world tour, that's the dream of Steven Adler," Sands says. Just in time for Chinese Democracy! [Reuters]

• Sir Paul McCartney hopes to release a long-lost experimental track the Beatles put together in 1967. "The time has come for it to get its moment," McCartney says. He needs to secure the blessing of Yoko Ono, Ringo Starr, and Olivia Harrison, however, before releasing the track.[Telegraph]

• Former Full House star Jodie Sweetin is busy; she has a 4-month old baby, plans to release a book about her days as a child star and later, a meth addict, and isn't ruling out the possibility of a reality show. [US Magazine]

• Rod Stewart, Dame Judi Dench, and Joanna Lumley all showed up for Prince Charles' 60th birthday party, where Stewart performed for the crowd. Also in attendance? Camilla's ex-husband, Andrew Parker Bowles. Awkward! [MSNBC]

• Madonna wasn't in Miami Beach on Friday, but her crew was: A-Rod and Gwyneth Paltrow were seen partying together on Friday, as celebrities gathered at the opening of the new Fountainebleau Hotel. Alex also shared a table with Ingrid Casares, another of Madonna's close friends, later that evening.[E!]

• Rob Lowe describes the recent wildfires in Santa Barbara as "like Armageddon" and explains the panic he felt when evacuating, saying that he "turned out of the driveway and the entire mountain was on fire with flames shooting 200 feet in the air. There was literally no warning. It came out of nowhere." Lowe's house was ultimately spared by the fires- 111 other residencies in the area were destroyed. [People]

• Quantum of Solace is on track to break the record for the best North American Bond opening ever, with an estimated 60 million dollars in ticket sales over the weekend. [Reuters]

• Tara Reid recently dropped her agent in the hopes of also dropping her party girl image. It would be super easy to make a joke here, but let's just wish her luck instead.[Hollyscoop]

• Want to buy Ewan McGregor's motorcycle? The actor is auctioning it off for UNICEF UK through Ebay, and he's not messing around: you'll need to register and get pre-approval before even placing a bid.[EbayUK]

• After an incredibly difficult year, Travis Barker celebrated his 33rd birthday this weekend in good spirits with his his ex-wife Shanna and their children. [TMZ]

• Is Kelly Osbourne getting married in Vegas? Sharrrooonnn!!![Starpulse]

• James Van Der Beek will join David Denman (Roy from The Office) in an upcoming pilot directed by Mark Waters of Mean Girls fame. The show, titled Eva Adams, centers around "Adam, a self-centred and sexist sports agent who gets a healthy dose of comeuppance when a witch's spell turns him into a woman." Yikes. [AndPop]

• That guy Oprah was leaning on during the Election Day rally in Chicago — whom she thanked on her show, saying, "I don't know who you are, but thank you, Mr. Man!" — is named Sam Perry. He worked at the Silicon Valley Obama office. [Breitbart]
• Mr. Man will be on Oprah's show today! [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Speaking of Oprah, she may have delivered between 400,000 and 1.6 million primary votes for Obama. Someone better get to sleep in the Lincoln bedroom! [Newser, via ABC News]
• Will.i.am has a video celebrating Barack Obama's win, and it will debut on Oprah's show today. [USA Today]
• Radiohead's Thom Yorke was so psyched Bush is leaving office, he posted a free remix of a song in his website. [Rolling Stone]
• People waiting in a U.S. Customs queue at Kennedy Airport on Tuesday booed Naomi Campbell as she skipped the line, escorted by a passport-screening officer. Weren't they afraid of hurled cell phones? [Rush & Molloy]
• You know how Kim Cattrall said there would be a Sex And The City sequel? Sarah Jessica Parker says, "I'm thrilled to know Kim is excited but all the deals are not yet done." Me-ouch. [Daily Express, People]

• At Madonna's concert in L.A. last night, she said, "This song is for you girls out there that have had one of your best friends fuck your boyfriend!" Also: Britney sang with Madge, then Justin did. But Brit and Justin did not appear on stage together. [The Sun]
• Oh here's video of Madonna's "surprise" guest: Britney. Brit wore a white shirt and black trousers. Madonna was the one in the leotard. Apparently Britney and Justin "kept their distance." [E!]
• Wait: Justin and Britney have been in touch all along? Even through rehab? [MSNBC]
• Britney's mom's book, Through The Storm, is not exactly a best-seller. [Page Six]
• Oh, snap: Amy Winehouse has refused to pay £30,000 for her husband's rehab. She's also pissed he didn't tell her he was getting released; she found out from photographers. [The Sun]
• Whoa: Dave Chappelle will be on the Inside The Actors Studio 200th episode, helping James Lipton reminisce. [Yahoo News via E!, E!]
• Gossip from America's Next Top Model: Elina says, "I didn't know I bothered McKey so much. That was kind of weird to hear—I didn't know she had a problem with me!" Also, Elina is rooting for Marjorie. "Maybe I'm just being a little biased because she is one of my favorite people in the house, but I think she has a lot of modeling potential, and she's also a great person." [E!]
• David Beckham's been caught checking out cheerleaders for the fourth time. Marc Anthony, seated next to him at the Lakers game, took a gander as well. [Mirror]
• The quote we ran from Glamour about Nicole Kidman cowering in the background during her marriage to Tom Cruise is getting wider circulation. As a reminder, she said: "I didn't think [the early movies] were very good, which is why I would always cower in the background. I thought, I don't deserve to be here. We would go to the Oscars and I would think, I'm here to support him. I felt it was my job to put on a beautiful dress and be seen and not heard." [Sydney Morning Herald, News.com.au]
• Did you know this about Daniel Craig? He has been divorced since 1994 and has a teenage daughter from that marriage, but he doesn't like to discuss her. ("I've spent my whole career protecting her," he says. "As soon as I talk about it, that's out there.") [USA Today]
• Ooh, love this stuff: Rihanna's tour rider. She demands a professional makeup mirror, two Trish McEvoy candles, "good quality" tortilla chips, and "fire hot" crunchy Cheez Doodles. [The Smoking Gun]
• Laguna Beach star Jason Wahler has lost his civil case. He owes a tow truck driver — whom he punched in the face while shouting racial slurs — $5,000. And maybe an apology??? [AP]
• Lisa Bonet's back on TV in Life On Mars, but she says: "To have my face reinstated in minds and homes once a week was an intense decision." She doesn't like the paparazzi. "It feels like you're being stalked. As a shy person, that type of attention coming at me violates something. I don't like that it's expected to come with the territory." [People]
• Ew: Vanessa Minnillo back on TV. Hosting a reality beauty pageant show called True Beauty. The series will "determine the 'True Beauty' of six stunning females and four handsome males who will live together in a spectacular Los Angeles mansion as they undergo a series of challenges to determine who is truly the most beautiful." Vom. [Perez Hilton]
• First: A black president. Now: Will there be a black Doctor Who? Actor Colin Salmon is in talks to star on the BBC show. [The Sun]
• Ellen Pompeo and her husband, Chris Ivery, are celebrating their one-year anniversary with a trip to Vegas. Keep it clean, kids. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Sean William Scott says if he could have a dish named after him, it would be called "Seann William Scott Veal Scallopini With the Stifler Porcini Mushroom Risotto." And: "It would be served at Da Silvano, where all the models go. I'd like models to eat my dish to fatten them up a bit." [Page Six]
• Jack Black will star in a new version of Gulliver's Travels, playing a travel writer who gets lost in the Bermuda Triangle and washes up on an island of tiny people. He may or may not rock out with them. [Daily Express]
• Antonio Banderas is in talks to play Salvador Dali, in a flick that would blend music and CGI to be surreal. Sounds cool. [Daily Express]
• Milla Jovovich will star as an alcoholic former stripper in a coming of age comedy directed by William H. Macy. Intriguing! [Variety]
• Nick Nolte has joined the cast of My Own Love Song, starring Renee Zellweger and Forest Whitaker. The story follows a wheelchair-confined former singer and her friend during an enlightening road trip to Memphis. [Variety]
• Jada Pinkett Smith plays a hippo in Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa and says: "I've always wanted more body, so it was really fantastic that I got the opportunity to play such a gloriously hefty lady. It's always fun to crawl back into Gloria's skin. It's really rare that you get to play a character twice." [USA Today]
• News you can't use: Toby Keith shaves his armpits. [People]
• Sandra Bullock's husband, Jesse James, is being sued for fraud; some kind of clothing deal gone wrong. [Yahoo News]
• This is not a joke: Rick Astley was named the Best Act Ever at the MTV Europe Music Awards, as fans of the 1980s singer pulled off the biggest ever "Rickroll." [Telegraph]
• Daryl Hall and John Oates have filed a lawsuit over the rights to their 1982 hit "Maneater." Can't figure out if Nelly Furtado is involved or not. [AP]
• Taylor Swift is teaming up with Def Leppard, but first the guys from Def Leppard had to Google her. [AP]
• Taylor Swift is not knocked up. She says: "I read a very creative rumor this morning saying I'm pregnant, which is the most IMPOSSIBLE thing on the planet. Take my word for it. Impossible." [UPI]
• "When we both started releasing records, it was a funny time for me. It must have seemed as if we were competing with each other, but, in reality, Britney is someone that I used to hold hands with. We were silly little girls together on the Mickey Mouse Club. What a journey it has been for both of us! There have been so many stories about the two of us not getting along. We don't keep closely in touch with one another, and it's obvious how our lives have taken on two different directions. I don't pass any judgment on what she does. I always wish her all the best." —Christina Aguilera on Britney Spears. [Daily Mail]
• "They [doctors] suggest you kind of get on it before you're a certain age so that they can remove your ovaries. That definitely makes a big difference in my timetable. Everything has to be a process, though. It'll happen. It's just not gonna happen right now." — Christina Applegate, on having kids, despite being tested positive for a gene that increases the chances of ovarian cancer. [Daily Express]
• "Almost every statement that comes out of Hulk's mouth is a diversionary tactic to deflect attention away from the real reason Linda filed for divorce, two words: HULK'S CHEATING!" — Linda Hogan's publicist. [E!]
• "Most of us have no concern for the safety of others, to be honest with you. All the paparazzos are breaking the law, including trespassing, running lights, speeding down the opposite side of the street… We all know we are breaking the law, but it is worth the risk. Safety is not an issue with most of us." — from an interview last year with Alison Silva, the photographer who recently sued Keanu Reeves and lost. [Page Six]
• "I guess people care more about farm animals than they do their fellow man, that's really sad to me. Yes, I am glad that the chickens will have more room and better conditions as they wait to die, but I just think it's frightening that people show more compassion for tomorrow's dinner than for the chef. Yup, Miss Piggy and Chicken Little may rest easy, but gay people in Florida and California can no longer get married and gay couples in Arkansas can't adopt children. G-d forbid a loving family (regardless of sexual orientation) give a needy child a home!" — Sam Ronson, on the passing of Prop. 2 and Prop. 8. [People]
• "I know there are problems with my stomach. There are bumps on it, it's uneven, but it's not that bad. I like a tanned stomach so that's why I'm going to keep wearing a bikini. It's my choice." —Tara Reid, who vows she will not stop wearing two-piece swimsuits. [The Sun]

• Fran Drescher is speaking out in order to encourage her fellow California residents to vote no on Proposition 8, stating: "This proposition is not about gay marriage; it's about hate, discrimination and intolerance of diversity. It is wholesale, unadulterated hate-mongering and it MUST be snuffed out in a dramatic fashion at once to illustrate to those behind it that in America we embrace the neighbor who might be different from us and are proud of it!" [HuffingtonPost]

• Bangarang, Rufio: Agent Provacateur has just released their new ad campaign, featuring model Helena Christiansen as a sexed-up "Pirate Queen." [Telegraph]

• Shanna Moakler tells People that her ex-husband, Travis Barker, "had a feeling that something was about to happen," before he boarded the plane that crashed, killing six of his fellow passengers and leaving Barker with third-degree burns on the lower half of his body. [People]

• Uh-oh! Apparently the photos Brad Pitt took of Angelina Jolie breast feeding for W Magazine have "upset Brad's parents." [Star]

• Simon Cowell and his girlfriend of six years, Terri Seymour, have officially split. Seymour apparently dumped Cowell by phone, which is almost as harsh as Simon Cowell has been to 8 million Idol wannabes over the past 5 years. [People]

• Criss Angel has nothing but love for Hugh Hefner's ex, Holly Madison. Angel had high praise for the Girl Next Door, who accompanied the wacky magician to the opening of his new Cirque du Soleil show in Vegas last Friday. "This is one of the most special evenings for me in my life," Angel said, "and I can not think of a more beautiful person, a more special person, inside and out, than Holly to spend it with." [People]

• Another day, another endorsement: this time, Tyra Banks has declared her support for Barack Obama. So congratulations, Senator! You're still in the running to becoming America's Next Top Elected Official! [E Online]

• Sad news: Pulitzer-prize winning author Studs Terkel has died at the age of 96. [NY Times]

• More sad news: John Daly, the Academy Award-winning producer of "Platoon," has died at the age of 71. [NYTimes]

• Ricky Gervais is apparently a big fan of symphonies, claiming that "nothing quite moves me like classical music." Not even "Freelove Freeway?"[Mirror]

• One Day At A Time star Mackenzie Phillips, who has struggled with drug addiction in the past, pled guilty to cocaine possession on Friday and has been ordered to attend a drug rehab program. [Reuters]

• The new James Bond film, Quantum of Solace, has broken the one-day British box office record with opening day sales reaching approximately eight million dollars. The previous record holder? Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. [Reuters]

• Jessica Simpson had to take her best friend and hair stylist Ken Paves to the hospital yesterday after a member of the paparazzi accidentally hit Paves in the eye with a camera. [TMZ]

• Cher's doctors are urging her to take a break from performing until at least January, due to "asthma-related bronchitis." [Daily Express]

• Jada Pinkett Smith has swapped gym workouts for yoga. "Right now I just do yoga maybe three times a week," Pinkett says, "As I've gotten older the gym's just not good on my joints anymore. I do a lot of activities outside. I do a lot of hiking, I love to run a little bit, I'm surfing now... I've got to keep up with my kids." [Daily Express]

• Are Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty over? "Friends" are reporting that Getty's refusal to divorce his wife of 8 years may have something to do with it. You think? [Daily Mail]

Santa Monica, CA, October 25. Image via Filmmagic.

[Big Island, Hawai'i; July 25. Image via x17]

Tina Fey (30 Rock), Glenn Close (Damages), America Ferrera (Ugly Betty), Julia Louis-Dreyfus (The New Adventures of Old Christine), Felicity Huffman (Desperate Housewives), Mariska Hargitay (Law and Order: SVU), Kyra Sedgewick (The Closer), Minnie Driver (The Riches), Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men) and Jeanne Tripplehorn (Big Love): these were the women who were nominated for Emmys, by-in-large playing strong, capable, well-written roles. And what's more, most of these women are, gasp, over 35.

Are there so many more available roles for women of a certain age on TV because producing a television show is that much cheaper? Are aging bodies less obvious on the small screen, and so they're more acceptable? Are Hollywood honchos just stuck believing that women don't see movies, or that men don't want to see movies with anything but eye candy? It's probably a combination of all of the above, and even though those televised, meaty roles are something to be proud of, there is not a single black actress on the short list for Best Actress Emmy (there are two Latinas: Ferrera and Eva Longoria-Parker).

I know I've said this so many times before, but there is something concrete we can do to help: go see movies made by women, or made with women in respectable roles. I'd tell you to go see something specific this weekend, but the only recent release with a plucky female protagonist is Kit Kittredge, and if you're not a Jezemom, I'm guessing that holds limited interest for you. Sigh. We clearly have a long way to go.

Warner Brothers Decides To Embrace The Women [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
Why Won't Warner Embrace The Women? [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
Warner's Robinov Bitchslaps Film Women [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
Sarah Silverman Lands In The Top 10 List Of Emmy semifinalists For Best Comedy Actress! [Gold Derby LAT]
Looks like Mary McDonnell Of 'Battlestar Galactica' And Elisabeth Moss Of 'Mad Men' Are On The Emmy Top 10 List [Gold Derby LAT]

Earlier: Ultimate Chick Flick The Women Is Finally About To See The Silver Screen

The Good:
Jada Pinkett Smith gives short women a good name. She really knows what she's doing - and always projects a reassuring air of competence.
I was just watching Good Will Hunting the other day and wondering about Minnie Driver. And here she is! And not looking half bad!
Vail Bloom pulls off this draping; the brown keeps it wearable.
Actress Valerie Azlynn. Cute, no?

The Bad:

In most of the images I saw of Charlize Theron, you couldn't really get a good view of her skirt; it was just swirling around her legs diaphanously and I thought, 'oh, that's pretty.' Then I saw this full-frontal and realized that it was, in fact, not pretty at all.
It looks like Queen Latifah was running errands or something and just decided to stop by the red carpet and say hi. In which case, this is fine.
This seems like one of those cases where an outfit that seems okay conceptually just does not make the transition to the red carpet — which, let's face it, likes clean lines. Poor Amanda Peet looks woefully frumpy.
Although not a regular watcher of Sister, Sister (hey, I had homework to do on Friday nights!) I was glad to see Tia Mowry. Less glad to see this caramel confection which is ugly in three different ways and counting.
Liz Wicker would've had me at hello if she'd left that bodice in tact.

The Ugly:

You don't have to have loved Mallory Keaton to be distressed by Justine Bateman's ensemble. And isn't she a designer? I could swear I saw that on E! (The exclamation mark is not because I'm excited.)

[Images via Getty]