• Has Lindsay Lohan turned over a new leaf? She says she's "going to India soon, before Thanksgiving hopefully," to film a BBC documentary on the trafficking of women and children.

• She says her mom is nervous about her trip, but she wants to go because, "I think it's important to have a voice when you have one." [Radar Online]
• Michael Lohan was on the Maury Povich show today trying to reach out to Lindsay. First he insulted her, calling her a "hollow person," then said there is "nothing left in her" and he "couldn't even look at her." He added, "I hate to speak out publicly like this..." As TMZ notes, this episode was called, "You're 14 ... Stop Lap Dancing and Trying to Get Pregnant"? Video here: [TMZ]
• When asked if she's excited that police have caught her alleged burglars, Lindsay said, "[That's] the most awkward question you could possibly ask. Yeah, I'm talking to the detectives, but it's nobody's business but my own." [E!]
• The father of Alexis Neiers, one of the four teenage girls arrested in connection with the recent celebrity burglaries, says, "She was in the wrong place at the wrong time, associating with the wrong people. She got sucked into this. We're standing by her. I'm sure [the case against her is] going to be thrown out of court." [People]
• A source claims Sienna Miller and Judge Law have been going on romantic dinner dates while they're both in New York performing on Broadway. A spokesman confirmed that they have met up, and the source says, "Sienna had her heart broken by Jude, but she was young and it was the first time she'd fallen in love. What people don't realise is that they always remained close, so who knows where this will lead to next." [Ok]
• Kate Gosselin's brother Kevin Kreider, his wife, Jodi Kreider, and attorney Gloria Allred are campaigning for a federal law to protect kids in reality shows. Jodi says the "Balloon Boy" story "makes it very clear that parents and people will do whatever they can do get on a reality show, kind of thinking that's a great way for quick fame." [CBS News]
• More weird Heene footage: in a video from about 10 years ago, Richard Heene tries to shove a cigar into his infant son Bradford's mouth so he can take a picture of him "smoking" and holding a beer bottle as Mayumi protests in the background. [TMZ]
• Lady Gaga says that when Beyonce called her and asked if she wanted to be in her video for "Video Phone" she said, "'What do you want to do?' And I'm like, 'I don't want to show up in some frickin' hair bow and be fashion Gaga in your video.' I said, 'I want to do you.'" She added, "I want to do my version of Beyoncé... So the whole time I was learning the choreography they were calling me Gee-yoncé." [MTV]
• Picewell Forbes publicly apologized for causing a mistrial in the John Travolta case. He didn't say who told him Pleasant Bridgewater had been acquitted but said, "My statements were reckless and interfered with the course of justice in that case and were further capable of bringing disrepute to the whole administration of justice." [AP]
• Michael Jackson's kids are having their own private screening of This Is It tonight. [TMZ]
• The Ali Forney Center, the nation's largest organization for homeless LGBT youth, has received a gift of $300,000 today from Bea Arthur's estate. The organization plans to buy a building to house 12 children whose families have thrown them out for being gay and name it in her honor. [Towleroad]
• Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner went right back to work after their wedding on Sunday, but they are planning a honeymoon in Africa for December. [People]
• Madonna and her four kids visited the orphanage in Malawi where her son David lived before she adopted him. [AP]
• Akon jumped off the stage and into the crown during a Melbourne concert last night to break up a fight. His promoter says, "The thing that I saw, and I was standing right next to him … He walked to a girl (involved in a fight) and walked to her and held her face and said, ‘You're better than that.'" [The Australian]
• Joe Francis is suing Brody Jenner and his girlfriend Jayde Nicole for battery, assault, negligence, slander, libel and false light. He claims that he only pulled Nicole's hair during their bar altercation in "self-defense" because she hit him in the head, threw a drink at him, and yelled "I'm going to kill you!" for no reason. [TMZ]
• The DA will not file charges against Joe Francis, Brody Jenner, or Jayde Nicole for their bar brawl. The D.A.'s report supports Francis' claim that the surveillance video shows that Jayde "appears to have acted without immediate provocation." Doesn't Girls Gone Wild count as provocation? [TMZ]
• Willem Dafoe says Tim Burton talked to him about playing The Joker in Batman, but he turned the role down and it went to Jack Nicholson. [Daily Express]
• At the link, Lost executive producer Damon Lindelof answers questions about the show's final season. [USA Today]
• On Thursday, Ante Up For Africa, a charity founded by Don Cheadle, is holding its second annual celebrity poker tournament to raise money to bring peace to Sudan. [CNN]
• Uh, wow. Author Martin Amis says he doesn't understand the fascination with Jordan because, "She has no waist, no arse ... an interesting face ... but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone." [The Telegraph]
• According to the Jonas Brothers' mom, Denise Jonas, "Nick is working on a solo act—it's called Nick Jonas and The Administration. Shhh! He's at the photo shoot for the album cover right now." [Parade]
• Taylor Lautner says he was motivated by "the movie and the fans," to put on 30 pounds of muscle for New Moon. "But I don't want to become known as just a body... If I had to choose, I would never take my shirt off again in a movie, but I guess that's not very realistic. I certainly won't be asking to do it, though." [People]
• "I'm always going to miss Oasis. It was my fucking thing, you know what I mean? It's who I am. But it's only a name," says Liam Gallagher. "Getting away from the whole Oasis thing is going to be a good thing I suppose. I don't want to do anything solo. I want to be in a band. But we can do things a lot differently these days. It'll definitely be rock 'n' roll." [The Sun]
• Mary-Louise Parker says adopting her 3-year-old daughter Caroline Aberash in 2007 was the "best decision I've ever made. She says, 'I love you, Mommy' and asks, 'Do you love me so much? She has a little bit of a speech delay; Amharic was her first language she heard. But she's really indomitable. She's really strong and she's like a little warrior. She's really amazing." [People]
• Q: What advice did your mom give you about dressing? Jane Lynch: "I like to wear my pajama bottoms and sweatshirts out to get coffee in the morning. She said to always dress like someone is going to take your picture, and every day is an opportunity to make an impression." [N.Y. Magazine]
• In a phone interview Tank Jones, Levi Johnston's manager, said of Levi posing for Playgirl, "He's pumped! He's ready to shock the world. The hell with fifteen minutes... As a matter of fact, when I picked him up, he came out the house naked. I said 'not now!'" Then Levi took the phone and said, "I just get naked. That's what I do." [Us]

• Is Brad Pitt done with showbiz? It almost seems like he's dropping hints:

"I think acting is a younger man's game," he says. "There are fewer interesting parts for older people and we all get older. But I feel like I've done it. I've kind of had my time and that's quite freeing. There are still acting dreams left but I'll do them first and then we'll talk about them." There's always architecture! [Daily Express]

• Jennifer Aniston embraces the lonely! "If I'm the emblem for 'this is what it looks like to be the lonely girl getting on with her life,' so be it." Jen tells Elle. "I can make fun of myself," she says. "And I'll bring it up as long as the world is bringing it up." [NY Post]
• Friends, today is the day: Some sites are participating in A Day Without Megan Fox. But over at E!, they're calling it Megan Fox Awareness Day, since she "drops wild nonsense in interviews, walks around wet, totally bends over in big dumb movies about robots, and then makes ballsy acting choices." [E!]
• Madonna did not, repeat, did not write a song dedicated to Guy Ritchie called "Eternal Love." Gossipeuse Liz Smith calls it a "hilarious rumor." [Variety]
• Page Six claims that the "gay spin" on Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson — as played by Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law in Guy Ritchie's flick, out on Christmas Day, could "backfire." Former Post movie critic Michael Medved says: "Who is going to want to see Downey Jr. and Law make out? I don't think it would be appealing to women." Sir, you are wrong. [Page Six]
• Oscar-winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black is suing Starzlife.com for posting explicit photographs of him having sex with a guy named Jeff Delancy. Invasion of privacy, copyright infringement, etc. [ONTD]
• Aw, sweet: NYPD cops are worried about Robert Pattinson: "We have celebrities a lot bigger than this guy who can come and go in perfect safety because we know how to take the right precautions. We have presidents and kings come and go. This poor kid can't get in or out of a car without things getting dangerous." [MSNBC]
• E! landed an "exclusive" interview with Kate Major, aka "Kate 2.0" and in this preview she says vague things like "Do I regret anything? Not really." And: "It is a huge relief to finally talk." Uh, you were talking the whole time. And seriously, how did the paparazzi know you went to dinner with the dude? Who has photographer's phone numbers: Jerk Gosselin or you, a Star magazine reporter? And isn't it funny how that shot of you guys going out to dinner made the cover of Star? [E!]
• By the by, check out this Kate Gosselin-esque wig. The prediction is that you'll be seeing a lot of them come Halloween. [LA Times]
• Rihanna had ice cream with the record exec responsible for putting Chris Brown's song in a Wrigley's commercial. Hmm. [Page Six]
• An animated music video directed by the late Heath Ledger premieres online today; it's for Modest Mouse's song "King Rat" and can be seen on MySpace. [Newser, NME]
• Michael Douglas's son Cameron: Busted for meth. [TMZ]
• Dina Lohan and Michael Lohan: Spotted acting friendly at a charity event. [Page Six]
• Why does Michael Jackson's dermatologist Dr. Arnold Klein claim to have "unique interests" in the custody of MJ's kids? Is he indeed the bio-dad? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Kathy Hilton, who met Michael Jackson when they were teens, says: "I adore Mrs. Jackson. Katherine is the rock." Of MJ, Kathy says: "People think that they knew him and they didn't. His generosity, sense of humor, the mischievous giggle, the laugh." [People]
• It's confirmed that Kara DioGuardi will return to American Idol, and Fox execs are singing her praises. Mike Darnell, president of alternative programming, says she has a "spitfire personality and sharp musical sensibility" and gave the show "new energy"; executive producer Simon Fuller says, "She is a breath of fresh air and her passion for music and her understanding of talent is invaluable." What does all this mean for Paula Abdul? [People]
• Someone overheard Mischa Barton talking about having a stalker. [Page Six]
• Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler are planning to remarry, one year after finalizing their divorce. "We would like to renew our vows and have another wedding," Shanna says. "It's not so much about the wedding but about having a celebration of each other and getting through all the crazy things we've been through." And: "When you almost lose a loved one, it makes you appreciate things you took for granted." [ONTD]
• There's a request for a restraining order against Daniel Baldwin — issued by a woman in Malibu. She fired her nanny, who is Baldiwn's niece, and Baldwin called the house and "left a hostile message." [Radar Online]
• 24's Mary Lynn Rajskub married personal trainer Matthew Rolph in Las Vegas over the weekend, in a casino with Elvis playing. But! "Our wedding was beautiful, spontaneous and intimate," she says. [People]
• Dearest Hugh Jackman, of course we will go see you play P.T. Barnum in The Greatest Showman on Earth, a musical flick put together by the peeps who did your Academy Awards extravaganza. Especially since Mika is in talks to do the music and lyrics. [Variety]
• Griffin O'Neal is spilling all kinds of shit about his dad, Ryan O'Neal. For instance: His father attempted to shoot him; Ryan was unfaithful to Farrah Fawcett; Ryan gave Redmond cash for drugs. [CNN]
• Hulk smash jitterbug! Lou Ferrigno is headed to Dancing With The Stars. [Life & Style]
• Click for an excellent snap of Jack Nicholson getting down on the dancefloor in the South of France. [NY Post]
• Jenna Elfman has a sitcom on CBS this fall, but she did go through a dark period where shows got canceled and development deals failed for various reasons. "It was quite a challenging four or five years in my life." [LA Times]
• Alyssa Milano has an ABC comedy pilot, Romantically Challenged, which looks like it might get picked up. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Chelsea Handler is the worst boss ever in a video at the link. [E!]
• Laguna Beach alum Jason Wahler got drunk and threw his shoes at people. [TMZ]
• Kevin Costner will return to Alberta, Canada to lend support to those injured by a stage collapse at a country music festival where he was set to perform. [Mirror]
• "Julianna Margulies slapped Chris Noth three times for the scene in the pilot in which The Good Wife goes bad. In a good way.The first time, she didn't hit him hard enough. The second time, the camera was off. The third time, she left a red welt on his face. 'Chris Noth is so great,' she said at press tour on Monday. 'He's like, 'Oh, please, I've been hit so many times.'" [LA Times]
• Will The Sopranos make it to the big screen, as a movie? [Gatecrasher]
• Fifty years ago, Jayne Mansfield cut a ribbon at the Chiswick Flyover, a stretch of elevated road in west London. To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the flyover, Mansfield's daughter Mariska Hargitay has been invited to an event. [Telegraph]
• "I haven't done it yet, but I'm excited... I'm lucky – yeah, I know." — Gerard Butler, on kissing Jennifer Aniston in scenes for The Bounty. [People]

[Saint Jean Cap Ferrat, August 2. Image via INF]

• "It's not like she's asking him for details, but she's thrilled at the prospect of him moving on. It makes things easier for everybody," says a source. Meanwhile, Madge is trying to keep a "low profile" on her "friendship" with A-Rod. [MSNBC]
• Don't count on Reese Witherspoon tying the knot with Jakey G. any time soon (you were waiting for this with bated breath, we assume): Reese says she's not sure she'll ever get married again. "I don't know [if I'll get married again]. I don't think about it much. At the moment, I am not far enough out of being married to think about doing it again," she says. [ Daily Mail]
• Rumors are rampant that Russell Crowe is clashing with director Ridley Scott on the set of the film Nottingham. A source tells Page Six, "Ridley is the only one who is willing to stand up to Russell and tell him he's too fat and that he can't show up four hours late to the set…[Russell] wants someone he can control." Russell plays the Sheriff of Nottingham in this new version of the Robin Hood tale. [Page Six]
• Though initial speculation was that Levi Johnston's mother, Sherry, was involved in selling meth, she was actually apprehended for selling oxycontin, otherwise known as "hillbilly heroin." She's currently out on bail. [McClatchy]
• Eric Dane is still not over the fact that ex-ladyfriend Lara Flynn Boyle was dating Jack Nicholson while she dated Dane in the 90s. "My take on the whole thing was, I'm 30. He's 70. This is not going to go down like this. I couldn't comprehend a 35-year-old woman gravitating toward a 70-year-old man . . . I walked away," Dane says. [Page Six]
• Sam Ronson's Lilo love has been quite lucrative: since the pair got together, SamRon's DJ fee has gone from $1,500 to as much as $25,000 per event. “While Sam never contractually agrees that Lindsay will show up to her shows, promoters, owners and publicists all know that if you book Sam, there’s a high likelihood Lindsay will also show,” an "insider" tells the Daily News. However, the couple apparently bickers constantly. [NYDN]
• Sad news for Led Zep lovers! Robert Plant has said that he does not want to do a reunion tour. "I still see Jimmy [Page] quite a lot and he's very complimentary and supportive of what I'm doing," Plant says. "But we are in different places now and you have to go on to do different things." Then he added, "Do you know how long it took me to climb up onto the stage here - and it's only four steps!" Aw. We've got a whole lotta love for Robert. [Telegraph]
• Tom Hanks is literally the nicest guy in Hollywood: to help raise money for a failing independent book seller called Village Books in Pacific Pallisades, Hanks "sat at at a small table in the back signing everything put in front of him…He stayed a half-hour beyond his scheduled two-hour appearance." The store is now catching up on back rent thanks to Hanks' generosity. Love!!! [Page Six]
• All the British tabs have photos of a no longer skeletal Amy Winehouse frolicking on the beach in St. Lucia. Some are speculating that she is really getting off drugs this time: fingers crossed. [The Sun — Link NSFW]
• "She's keeping it fresh for her customers. I wanted to do nipple rings, and (Aronofsky) said, 'I love it.' And I knew we were on the same page. They pinched them on and used eyelash glue. My breasts got a lot of attention that day." — Marisa Tomei on her role as a stripper in The Wrestler. [ USA Today]
• Paris Hilton's mom, Cathy, had this to say about the recent burglary of $2 million worth of jewelery from Paris's Hollywood Hills home: "I'm just happy that she's okay. But you can't be possessed by your possessions. Those are just things. And I'm happy that she's okay." [E! Online via Yahoo News]
• Unlike her mama, Paris is not so happy-go-lucky about the robbery. "I am devastated. I cannot believe someone broke into my home. They took items that had such sentimental value that no one will ever be able to replace," she says. [Extra]
• A recording of John Lennon drunk and singing a cover of the Lloyd Price song "Just Because" in 1973 was purchased for $30,000. A spokeswoman from the auction house said, "It was six minutes, 16 seconds, and John singing very drunk and with John ad-libbing his own lyrics into the song — so it's actually a fun song to listen to." Hear that people? Start recording your drunk ass singing, it might be worth tens of thousands some day! [CNN]
• A new biography of the King of Pop claims that Michael Jackson is gravely ill. “He needs a lung transplant, but may be too weak to go through with it. He also has emphysema and chronic gastrointestinal bleeding, which his doctors have had a lot of trouble stopping. It’s the bleeding that’s the most problematic part. It could kill him," says biographer Ian Halperin. Halperin alleges that Jackson has "an inherited condition called A1AD — alpha-1 anti-trypsin deficiency. Sufferers lack a protein which protects the lungs." Yikes! [The Sun]
• There will be no strollers allowed at Obama's inauguration, but not because they're a nuisance — but because they're a security risk. Thermoses, backpacks, and chairs will also not be allowed on the inauguration route. [TMZ]

• "I was quoted saying I was a virgin, but I absolutely did not say that. That's nobody's business but my own," the Duffster tells Maxim in the most recent issue. Let's go to the wayback machine and see what she said to Elle: "It's harder having a boyfriend who's older because people just assume. But [virginity] is definitely something I like about myself. It doesn't mean I haven't thought about sex, because everyone I know has had it and you want to fit in. But when they talk about it, it doesn't sound special, like you would imagine it to be. It just seems like everybody has slept with each other – you know what I mean?" Oh yes, we know exactly what you mean, Hils: you wanted to appeal to tweens back then, and now you're trying to have a broader audience. It's loud and clear! [NYDN]
• Madonna is contradicting longtime publicist Liz Rosenberg, who on Monday announced that Guy Ritchie will get between $76-92 million as part of the couple's divorce settlement. Madonna and Guy released a joint statement saying that Rosenberg's declaration was "misleading and inaccurate." What's more, "We have tried to maintain a dignified silence regarding the details of our divorce for the last few months whilst accepting the obvious media interest…The financial details of the settlement will remain private, save to say that both of us are happy with our agreement. Our primary concern, like any co-parents, is the care and well being of our children." Whilst! The plot thickens!! [Reuters]
• Not all of the gay community is excited about Sean Penn's portrayal of activist Harvey Milk in Milk. Advocate writer James Kirchick is pissed because Penn was palling around with notorious gay-rights abuser Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chávez as well as Raul Castro. Human Rights Foundation President Thor Halvorssen tells The Advocate, "That Sean Penn would be honored by anyone, let alone the gay community, for having stood by a dictator who put gays into concentration camps is mind-boggling."[Page Six]
• Earlier this year, Clay Aiken's bff, music producer Jaymes Foster, had a baby after being artificially inseminated with Clay's lil' dudes. Word is that they were both so thrilled with the results that Foster is going to go through another round of IVF in the hopes of having another Claybie. [Perez]
• Blind Item! "Which still-sexy actress, who has a daughter now getting ingenue roles, is facing reality? She finally had her first face-lift last week." We are guessing her name rhymes with Moosan Morandan. [Page Six]
• Does Anthony Kiedis have kidney trouble? The former heroin addict allegedly was sick enough to discuss going on a transplant list for a new kidney, but has since been on the mend.[Sun]
• Fergie (the Duchess, not the Pea) had her laptop stolen, along with intimate digital photos of her family. In addition! Poor Princess Beatrice's Norfolk Terrier, Max ran off during a walk last week in Windsor Great Park , and she's apparently "desperately upset." London Jezebels get on the case! [Daily Mail]
• "We discussed—for about a second—the idea of Tom’s having a German accent. I remember that conversation very clearly. I was in the sitting room of his house, and I basically just said, 'I don’t want to do that. You don’t want to be listening to that.'" —Valkyrie director Bryan Singer on Tom Cruise's performance. [GQ]
• Wowza: the iconic Bert Stern photos of Marilyn Monroe, taken in 1962 right before her death, sold at Christie's for $146,500. [AP]
• Singer Duffy will be the new face of Diet Coke. Says the Sun, "They want to move away from typical Diet Coke ads with stick-thin models and chiselled hunks." Does that sound sort of like a backhanded compliment? [Sun]
• Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford is still nursing her 2-year-old son Hermés. "It's an amazing bond with your child," she says, before adding, "I was thinner after my pregnancy than before, and I think a lot of it was the nursing." [Page Six]
• Will Actor's Guild negotiations tear Hollywood apart? Page Six is reporting that negotiations were tense on Monday night, with Jack Nicholson, Meryl Streep and Warren Beatty in favor of a strike, and Alec Baldwin, Tom Hanks, George Clooney, Charlize Theron, Helen Mirren and Kevin Spacey against it. [Page Six]
• Harrison Ford has signed on to play a morning show personality in the film Morning Glory, and our beloved Rachel McAdams is in talks to costar. According to the Hollywood Reporter, "Aline Brosh McKenna ("The Devil Wears Prada") wrote the script about a grizzled old-school anchor in the Ted Koppel mold (Ford) who quits in disgust with the gossip-heavy direction of the evening newscast. He is then recruited by a hot up-and-coming producer (McAdams) to help revive a morning talk show, only to be paired with his rival." [HR]
• "She was drunk! I don’t know if she was drunk when they actually got married, but the night before she was. She just needed that little push — the Patron push.”— Lo Bosworth on the Speidi nuptials. [People ]
• Oprah's taking her production company from ABC to HBO in order to start making more feature films, documentaries and TV series. [AP]
• Is Lisa Rinna going to pose for Playboy? Sources say: probs.The daytime diva has also been pitching a reality show to cable networks with husband Harry Hamlin tentatively called I Love Lisa. [Extra, MSNBC]
• Macaulay, Keiran and Rory Culkin have all taken time off their acting projects to mourn the sudden death of their sister, Dakota. As noted last week, Dakota was hit by a car in Los Angeles while crossing the street. "They're heartbroken. That I can tell you. They're just absolutely heartbroken," says the Culkin boys' manager. [UPI]
• Diddy hosted a birthday party for his ex and baby mama Kim Porter at Murano restaurant in West Hollywood. "The evening's specialty drink, the K.P. Martini, featured a Ciroc vodka lemon drop with a brown-sugar rim," E! reports. Oooh fancy. [E! Online]
• The Brangelina clan is parking in France for the time being. "I've been dragging them all from continent to continent lately, so we're going to have to give them a break soon. For the long term, right now, we're choosing France. It's good living there, a really nice way of life. It's a place where the kids can run free and not be hassled – we have a good relationship with the locals, and it's a good base for the family," Brad says. [Perez]
• Click here for an online preview of Flight of the Conchords season two premiere! Squee! [Funny or Die]
• If you have a crush on any member of Coldplay check out these behind the scenes shots of Chris Martin and the crew. [Rolling Stone]

• Gwyneth's mom Blythe Danner says Gwyn's marriage is a-ok, despite rumors of a split. “They don’t take pictures together if they can avoid it. It’s a strategy. They don’t want the pandemonium.” [Fox News]

• OMG NOOOOOO: rumor is that Paris Hilton is dating Gerard Butler. First Shanna Moakler, and now this? Say it ain't so, Gerry. Say it ain't so! [ Perez]
• It really sounds like Nicole Kidman is ready to throw in the towel with this whole acting thing. "I have to say I'm not that interested in making films any more," she tells the Telegraph. "I know I'm not meant to say that, but that's where it is for me now. I'm 41 years old and very happy being in Tennessee with my baby and with my husband. I obviously have creative blood in me and it needs to come out in some way but I just don't have that burning desire any more. I'm not saying I'm never going to work again, but I'm at peace with whatever happens, which is a nice place to be at this stage of my life." [Telegraph]
• Aw, Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams are star cross'd lovers! Says a source: "He still loves Rachel and Rachel still loves him, but the timing is off and they can't make each other happy right now." [People]
• Vanessa Hudgens canceled her 20th birthday at Chateau Marmont because she didn't want to come off as a party monster. “She canceled because she didn’t want the bad press because it’s a bar…She could have gotten in though, because they serve dinner as well." [E! Online]
• Pete Wentz, that charmer, has been dishing to Howard Stern about sex with his post-preggers wife. "Wentz revealed everything from how Simpson's body looks post-pregnancy to her bra size and the details of the couple's sex life post-birth…Seaking of the first time he and Ashlee had sex, Wentz said, 'It was the single best sexual encounter I've ever had. We were in the Soho Grand Hotel, and there was a mirror, and I was like, 'Oh my God, you're banging the girl of your dreams and you're watching it right now.'" There's more at MTV.com if you wanna read the entire TMI trainwreck. [MTV]
• Katy Perry is engaged to Travis McCoy of the Gym Class Heroes. We are way too old to really know or care who those people are. [Star]
• Carlos Leon, the father of Madonna's daughter Lourdes, is weighing in on Madge's recent split. "It is a bad situation for both Guy and Madonna and I send them a lot of love and all the children involved. I think it is too early to say if the divorce will make things better or worse for the family." [Perez]
• Jessica Alba will make a cameo on The Office episode that's airing after the Super Bowl. As we noted this morning, Jack Black will also make an appearance on that special ep. Star Studded! [EW]
• After her album of Tom Waits covers was so successful, Scarlett Johansson says she's ready to move on to writing her own material. "It'd be a project that I have to dedicate myself to. I feel like that's something for the future." [ONTD]
• Did you know there's a California Hall of Fame? Well there is! And Dr. Seuss, Jane Fonda, Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson were all inducted in last night because they embody "the state's spirit of inspiration and innovation." [UPI]
• Apparently Suri Cruise has a "huge vocabulary." Does it already include the words "glib," "Xenu" or "psychotropics"? [People]
• Australian tennis whiz Lleyton Hewitt had a baby boy named Cruz. He totally stole that name from the Beckham brood! [People]
• During a concert in Paris the other night, Enrique Iglesias took crotch shot of himself with fan's camera. We are liking him more and more these days. [Sun]
• John Walsh, the host of America's Most Wanted started hosting the TV show after his six-year-old son was tragically murdered in 1981. His son's murderer has now been identified: according to TMZ, "Police are expected to ID the killer as Ottis Toole, a convicted pedophile who died in prison in 1996." [TMZ]
• Brad Pitt says that despite the fact that he and wife Angie are richer than God, they don't spoil their kids with lavish gifts. "We have gifts, but we try to keep the money spent to a minimum. The rule is that everyone’s got to make something for someone else, you got to put time into it." [The Sun]
• Matthew Broderick says that doing the voices for the main mouse in The Tale Of Despereaux was kinda lonely. "Happy as I am to be in it with [co-stars Sigourney Weaver, Kevin Kline and Dustin Hoffman], they're not there. The challenge is you end up behind a piece of glass with a microphone and a lot of people telling you what to do." [ Mirror]
• Jason Schwartzman is giving away a song from his side project Coconut Records for free. The lil' ditty is called "Microphone" and you can find it here. [Perez]
• Fox Reality Channel is launching a new series called "House Husbands" which is exactly what it sounds like — a show about stay-at-home hubbies whose wives are the breadwinners. "The cast includes Tempestt Bledsoe ("The Cosby Show") and husband Darryl M. Bell ("A Different World"), Jillian Reynolds (formerly Barberie, from "Good Day LA"), her husband Grant and former Los Angeles Dodger Billy Ashley, among others." Sounds…delightfully trashy. [ONTD]
• Kate Hudson cannot stop talking about how she loves-loves-loves being single. This time she's talking about it in In Style, but seriously. We've read about it in every fashion magazine ever. Dear fashion magazine writers: please stop asking Kate Hudson about being single. [People]
• Sad news for Columbo fans: Peter Falk has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and dementia. [People]
• Hilary Duff says that she's a lady who does not dirty dance in smutty nightspots! "I've been accused by the press of giving lap dances at clubs. I mean, little ol' me? It's shocking. People love to believe it. It's way more exciting to talk about than the truth! And they're so descriptive about these lap dances. I don't even know how to do a lap dance!" says the Duffster. The lady doth protest too much! [E! Online]

Just an idea of the awesome '70s graphic design. Elton is psyched to talk about sex!

Warren Beatty discusses what turns him on. A definable waist is a must.

Al Pacino's fantasy involves boredom and a seven foot woman. Anyone care to deconstruct?

Jack Nicholson wants you to help him vomit. Any volunteers?

Two or three dozen naked women, Telly? Seriously?

Tina Turner is awesome. That is all.

Elton John's theme song is Cheap Trick's "I Want You To Want Me."

Dear Pam Grier, Did you hear the one about Truman Capote being gay?

"For fertilization to take place, sperm must be able to reach the egg and then penetrate its outer layer," the L.A. Times notes. "Sperm that don't move well...may be unable to do so." As "lifestyle"
can be a a factor when "sperm that don't move well," I'm forced to surmise that too much weed renders one's junk unable to do anything but lie on the proverbial couch of one's innards.

Anyway! When couples are having fertility problems, 67% of women seek treatment before their male partners do, and almost half of women surveyed by the IntegraMed company reported that their partners only sought help when pressured. "Both the male and female partner should be worked up simultaneously," Dr. Walsh says. "Men are just as deserving of a comprehensive evaluation." Walsh adds that part of the issue is that women can just go to their gynecologist when facing reproductive problems, whereas men don't have the same kind of go-to doctor with whom they feel comfortable. All the same: if you're having issues with babymaking, make sure to get everyone involved a full medical workup.

Male
Biological Clock 'Ticks Too' [BBC]
Men
Can Be Infertile Too [LAT]

1. The story of Viagra starts in 1982 with a conference of urologists in Las Vegas at which one Dr. Giles Brindley decided to display off the effects of an injectible erectile dysfunction drug he was developing by brandishing his boner onstage. The doctors in the audience described his wang as long, thin, and grayish. It was the beginning of a reliable flow of fun, bizarre erectile dysfunction-related news stories and assorted stupid crap like this.?

2. Lots of dudes get prostate cancer. My dad, for one. Don't get me wrong, I do not want to think about my parents having sex. So I am going to end this entry before I get ahead of myself. I mean, when it all comes down, you're glad breast implants exist, aren't you?

3. Viagra actually definitively solved a physical problem. How many modern pharmaceuticals can even say that? For every person you know whose, like, life was saved by Zoloft, you probably know five people whose insurance companies have spent thousands of dollars sampling an array of mood-altering drugs that left them crazy, panicky, suicidal, incapable of solving any underlying problems and/or completely devoid of the desire to have sex. And couldn't most of our first world problems be solved by a little more sex?

4. Viagra helped people talk about sex. Again, agreed: you didn't want to picture Bob Dole and Liddy having sex, but you probably didn't want to picture Ron Jeremy having sex either, and now you don't have to, because thanks to Viagra the adult entertainment industry no longer has to rely on gross freaks who happen to have massive boner-prolonging capabilities.The Viagra salesman memoir Hard Sell — which I actually read for some reason — is full of heartwarming stories about uptight Midwesterners being emboldened to talk to their doctors — and then, their neighbors! — about fucking. And what followed? Bible Belt vibrator parties, the repeal of the Texas sex toy ban, and... well, the term "va-jay-jay", but every revolution has its lame elements.

5. As long as I am going to get old, I would like to get laid. I mean, duh.

• Tim Gunn is taking some conflict-of-interest heat regarding a recent column he wrote OK! magazine. (Tim writes for OK!? How declasse!) When advising a reader about what jeans are best to fit most bodies, he steered the reader towards Liz Claiborne and Lucky Brand. Funny thing is, Gunn just happens to be the Chief Creative Officer of Liz Claiborne. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• The ads of David Beckham in his Emporio Armani undies don't hit the UK 'til March, but sales for white men's briefs have already gone up 50% since the announcement was made that Beckham's face (and balls) would be tied to the brand. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• Marc Jacobs on his camel toe costume: "I love being the unexpected, even if that means not moving for the entire night. You just kind of slide in from the front and hang out here. And the fur is all artificial of course, but there is simply too much of it!" Why are we not surprised that Jacobs would be anti-bush? [Fashion Week Daily]

• "I wear a piece of Jenni every day," says Skeletor/celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe, referring to newly notable designer Jenni Kayne. [Fashion Week Daily]
• When we do spring cleaning, we end up hauling truckloads of old magazines and empty Kombucha bottles to the curb. When Karl Lagerfeld does spring cleaning, the items are curated and then put up for auction. [Vogue UK]
• Reverend Run's daughters have a clothing line. It is called Pastry. It is ugly. [FabSugar]
• Say what you will about Marc Jacobs, but at least he's using models (and good ones!) for the Louis Vuitton spring advertising campaign. Stephanie Seymour, Eva Herzigova, Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, Angela Lindvall and Natalia Vodianova are all set to star in the Richard Prince-inspired ads. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Uh oh: Why is Elle International Creative Director Gilles Bensimon sending out cryptic, vaguely suicidal-sounding e-mail "postcards" to his friends? [Fashion Week Daily]
• Stella McCartney has designed a pleather patent camera bag. It is actually pretty cute. But it's currently on sale for $400 (down from $1,235 originally), which seems like a fuckload of money for a bit of plastic. [GeekSugar]
• Kate Moss is the face of the spring Longchamp campaign. She looks hot. Yawn. [Sassybella]
• Martha Stewart's infamous former stockbroker/walker Peter Bacanovic is moving on past insider trading and into bling: He has just accepted the title of CEO of Fred Leighton jewelers. [WWD, 1st item]
• Krazy Karl: Thinking Russian for next year's Chanel metiers d'art collection. What would Lenin say? [WWD, 3rd item]
• John Galliano: Now doing jewelry. We really hope it's pirate-themed. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Anyone else find it interesting that not-seaweed yogawear line Lululemon's biggest competitors are Victoria's Secret, American Eagle, and Nike? [The Economist]

• 24 star Kiefer Sutherland is in the slammer! The actor will serve 48 days in Glendale City Jail for his DUI conviction, which means he'll be there for his birthday, Christmas and New Year's Eve. Keep your head up, Kiefer! [TMZ]
  
• Also booked on DUI charges, with the LAPD: Vivica A. Fox. She was at the police station for 20 minutes. People! Do not drink and drive! [TMZ]
  
• John Mayer exchanged numbers with Ricki Lake at a party Tuesday, saying, "I've had a crush on you for two years." Uh, since she's been real thin, you mean? [Page Six]
  
• In 1989, when Anjelica Huston found out that Jack Nicholson had gotten Rebecca Broussard pregnant, Jack says she "[came] down to my job and beat the hell out of me. She really beat me up, I tell you. Anjelica can punch!" [Page Six]

• Her Royal Highness The Queen of England attended a charity event at which Joan Rivers took the stage and cursed "13 times in seven minutes." Goodness! [Page Six]
• Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow had dinner together?!? Amicable! [Page Six]
• Ryan Phillippe and Aussie actress Abbie Cornish are a real couple. They supposedly had a fling while filming a movie together (ending Ryan's seven year marriage to Reese Witherspoon) though Abbie denied it at the time. But photographs of her hanging out with his kids are out, making them official. Awkward! [Gatecrasher]
• Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos and hotelier Vikram Chatwal "fell" into the pool of a hotel in Beverly Hills while playing with a dog recently. Vikram had to get stitches, but when he came out of the hospital, Stavros toasted him with a cocktail called the Salty Dog. Oh, to be an international playboy. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which velvet-voiced crooner with a famous parent is using his new fame to stock his bed with young lovelies - every time his wife is out of town?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• In Russia in 2000, Actor Laurence Fishburne got super stoned and then rode a motorcycle with starchitect Frank Gehry on the back; Fishburne thought he was losing control of the bike, freaked out and nearly killed them both. High times! [Rush & Molloy]
• Jay-Z's contract as Universal Music label executive may not be renewed. 99 problems... [Rush & Molloy]
• Meanwhile, Jay celebrated his 38th birthday in Paris with Beyoncé. Le Gangster Américain! [People]
• At an awards event, Jodi Foster said she was a "gentleman" and a "professional" who is also "nutty as a fruitcake." No arguments here. [Rush & Molloy]
• Are Britney and Paris feuding? Apparently Brit write a nasty note to Paris, saying they'd heard rumors of a new sex tape scandal, and that if Paris continues to be rude to people, the footage will be leaked online. Paris allegedly laughed when she got the letter and called it "crap." [MSNBC]
• Nicole Richie was granted a leave of absence from her court-mandated anto-drinking program: The program suggested she discontinue because they are worried for her safety. But Nic's rep says they offer that option to anyone and she's not receiving special treatment. Sure, sure. [People]
• Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton says she's having so much fun being on tour with the Spice Girls and gets so worked up on stage that she "forgets the lyrics." Baby, whenever you don't know what to say, just shout "Gul Powah!" [People]

Before he got married and became a squeaky clean family man, Warren was famous for boning his co-stars, who included Natalie Wood, Julie Christie, and Madonna. Tionna Tee Smalls was totally right, Most People Always Love The Person Who Shitted On Them. Believe That.

Mamas & Papas star says Warren Beatty her great love [Reuters]

• One report says that Lindsay Lohan is in a Sundance, Utah rehab facility which previously hosted Mary-Kate Olsen and David Hasselhoff. [EntertainmentTonight]
  
• Two other reports say Lindsay Lohan is with her mother on Long Island. We hope the first report is true! [People, PageSix]
  
• There's some cuckoo baby mama drama between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, if you care. [PageSix]
  
• Gwyneth Paltrow uses snake venom to keep her skin looking young. We always knew there was something sinister about her! [PageSix]
  
• Director Brett Ratner got a blowjob from a tranny. As the kids say, ROTLFLMFAO! [PageSix]

• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, fighting? "I've even heard her telling friends things like Brad's always too busy highlighting his hair to keep up with her UN briefs," says a source. It seems like we hear about them breaking up every day, and yet they are still together. [Mirror]
• Justin Timberlake filmed his scenes for a new video away from scantily-clad models. Hmm, wonder if he's trying not to piss off Jessica Biel? [TheSun]
• Does Jack Nicholson have a crooked penis? [TMZ]
• Usher finally married his pregnant fiancée in Atlanta. We sure hope these two crazy kids will be happy together! [People]
• Hermione has a boyfriend! They drink champagne and eat lobster together! Go Emma Watson! [DailyMail]
• There's some sort of snafu regarding Madonna and the court-appointed adoption official from Malawi. Will the kid will be 25 by the time this crap gets worked out? [CNN]
• George Clooney: incurable bachelor or closeted gay? [DailyMail]
• Actress Thandie Newton admits she was bulimic for a year. [People]
• Bratz: Number 10 at the box office. [BoxOfficeMojo]