Jezebel 
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New York, 6:47 AM
Sat Nov 28
29 posts in the last 24 hours
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12/18/08
I got in a fight with my ex-bf yesterday. I confided in him about something (I stood up, and it was basically likea pregnant woman's water breaking - I guess I lost control of my bladder). I'm only 27, so obviously, that was devastating to me, so I am telling him about it and he says, "That's all right. There are people who are worse off" (this was via IM, so the spelling errors are a direct quote). I got SO pissed. I said, "You whine like a f***ing two year-old when you have a cold, and I piss all over myself at 27 because my bladder is about to fall out of me (it's prolapsed) and all you can say is, "other people have it worse"?!?!?!?!
12/17/08
May I also say, what is up with doctors attributing symptoms to stress? Half the time when I am sick and see a doctor, I am told there is nothing wrong with me and I just need to relax. Then when I come back two days later, worse than before, I suddenly have mono or strep or bronchitis.
12/17/08
However, if Dad was feeling poorly enough to stay home for one day, it was the end of the world. Dad almost NEVER missed a single day of work, because his fields and his cattle are his livelihood.
To this day (if I'm not contagious!) I'll just take some Dayquil and try to get on with my day. I just want to be left the fuck alone so I can suffer in peace and do what I need to do and then come home and sleep. However, every man I've ever dated has wanted cuddling and coddling when they're sick. I suppose, like many others, I've been socialized to believe that women just suck it up and deal with minor illnesses, and most of the men I know have been socialized to believe that HAVING A COLD IS THE END TIMES OMG.
12/17/08
12/17/08
I ended up outpatient and going to various things only for my doc to conclude my liver was complaining about some of my medications.
My husband ended up transported to the hospital in an ambulance for a four day stay in a cardiac unit. They did an arteriogram to discover that his arteries were as clean as a kid's...a healthy kid's I mean.
So. Yeah. Sometimes this stereotype tends to be true.
12/17/08
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12/17/08
When I had to go into the hospital to get my gall bladder out after putting it off until it was an emergency basically I still had my teeth cleaned that morning as scheduled. I figured it couldn't be THAT bad that my hospital admission couldn't wait until the afternoon. D'oh.
12/17/08
Why do so many women exaggerate then? Because a woman has to get a doctor's note proving she is 98% dead before she can go take a nap.
12/17/08
12/17/08
It's one thing to communicate symptoms as a way to figure out what's wrong with you, to let people close to you know what's going on if you have a chronic or debilitating condition, or just to let people know why you aren't quite yourself.
It's quite another to yammer on and on in every conversation about your effing allergies, cold, period cramps, bum knee or whatever. Buck up and get on with your day, or go get treatment already!
Not that I'm reacting to anything going on around me or anything.
12/17/08
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12/17/08
That said, you bet I milk my illnesses for all it's worth. It's the one time we adults are allowed to be "spoiled" by our parents in a socially acceptable way.
12/17/08
...and then he gets tested and all he has a flu. And to this day he insists he never said he had a sore throat; apparently I made up the part where he had me examine the back of his throat for white pus. (In his defense though, he did admit his high fever might have made him forget the whole thing. But still...)
12/17/08
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12/17/08
i have a family member who is ridiculous about it. over 10 years ago, her laser-treated out-patient gall bladder surgery required a two day hospital stay. she has everything under the sun. diabetes? yes. stomach problems? yes. periodically has to get her esophagus stretched because it's too small? (!!!?!?!) yes. headaches? yes. she's on meds for whatever. even her sisters - two of which are nurses! - acknowledge that whatever ailment is diagnosed, she always has it with more pain, more intensity, more whatever. she stays home because she doesn't 'feel well' all the time.
and yet! she's always well enough for bunco night and for weekends out with the girls.
12/17/08
I have a chronic illness (rheumatoid arthritis) and I sometimes find myself mentioning this fact in the first few minutes of a conversation. SOmetimes it just comes up- if you ask me to do something and I can't, if I am limping, if I am wearing a brace. I don't feel well a lot of the time and stay home a lot- but damn when I am feeling up to it I want to party like it's 1999 because I know that tomorrow I will feel like crap and not be able to. I don't know, your compassion seems to be wearing thin. Just because you can't see a disease don't mean it isn't real and disabling.
12/17/08
And nobody's ever invited me to play bunco which has left a deep psychological wound that I won't explore here (I'm kidding).
But I also understand about resting up and using the good days to their fullest potential. It looks like it's more selective than it really is and is hard for others to understand.
12/18/08
12/19/08
also, this family member has children, and her medical exaggeration habits rub off on them far too much. it's one thing if your medical stuff only affects you, but when you have kids, they see how you behave and either mimic that or reject it. unfortunately, her kids have a tendency to mimic her behavior and it's not good.
12/17/08