Jezebel
crappy hour
Posts Tagged “
Iraq
”
crappy hour
crappy hour
Airport Sedition: The Surge Isn't Working And Neither Is John McCain's Common Sense
I'm chilling out at Frankfurt Airport, desperately trying not to eavesdrop on any of the completely uninteresting conversations going on around me or gag from the smells of weird German lunch meats wafting up from the group of old people eating behind me. Luckily I have the redesigned Washington Independent's Attackerman, Spencer Ackerman, by my electronic side, ready, willing and able to provide me with some pre-flight entertainment in the form of a discussion about Republi-porn, the Surge, McCain's Viagra usage, Iraqistani and how my masseur Antoine and Alex Pareene kept me from going absolutely crazy. More »
future so bright
What Is The New York Times Sunglass Girl Thinking?
I talked to my mom the night before last. "I don't get the New York Times," she mused. "They have all these great stories, but their Styles section always seems to focus on this tiny, unappealing bunch of really wealthy people!" I explained to her that Styles is for and about people who specifically do not read the rest of the Times, but need to buy it in order for the Times to get advertising. But then I thought, that's so cynical of me! Which brings me to this girl on the cover of today's "Thursday Styles" section She is not Olivia Munoz, the college student the accompanying story quotes saying, “I’m beginning to love sunglasses as much as I love shoes and bags and jewelry,” but the story and its accompanying gallery of consumerporn shots of various pairs of $400 sunglasses on the market wants you to think she might as well be. But wait a second, what if she reads the Times? This girl could easily be thinking very deep thoughts while inspecting herself in that mirror. (The caption, after all, reads "Upon Reflection.") For instance: More »
crappy hour
Saber Rattling And Other Boy Stuff With Spencer Attackerman
Hey, there, so, I'm a really terrible friend. Well, actually, I'm a good friend to some people, but I managed to abandon other people in the process. I'm currently in Germany, slightly besoffen from my friends' civil marriage this morning and as a result, Moe totally cheated on me with Spencer Ackerman.They talked about stuff. Moe told me that it was war related. It was more crazytown than not sleeping on an airplane, reading a book about polygamy and trying to remember 10 years of German you haven't spoken in almost 10. Oh, and I'm still posting on Glamocracy. For real, shit is crazy today, and it's not the 2 bottles of champagne talking. It might be the weird three-way Crappy Hour though. More »
news roundup
Bulls And Withdrawal Strategies
- There's probably some economic metaphor to be had in a story about 13 people being trampled by bulls in Pamplona, but then again it might be a cautionary tale about what the tourism industry can convince you is "fun." [Washington Post]
- Speaking of a snow job, guess who is the latest politician calling for a withdrawal timetable in Iraq sooner rather than later? Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, that's who. No worries, Bush and McCain will find other reasons not to withdraw yet. [Washington Post]
- Jim Webb, though, is totally withdrawing from VP consideration, though. [HuffPo]
Many, many sad things can be said about the costs of the Iraq War to both the people of Iraq and those of us in America. One of those things was said by Andrea Bruce at the Washington Post today in her article about the group home for the deserted grandmothers of Baghdad: "Before the war, when the home was opened, there were only four women living here. Now there are 47." In another time, these women would've been cared for by their families; these days, blind widow Doris Yunan lived on the bench of a church for a year before she found the group home where she now lives and is cared for by volunteers. Her stepsons abandoned her to escape the war. As the occupying force there, the Ghandi quote "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members," is probably apt here, but mostly I think I'm going to skip the politically snarky ending and call my grandmother. [Washington Post]
Left Behind
Dear Barack: Baby, Come Back
Hey, well, so, like, I know we haven't spoken in a long time. Frankly, your wife is so cool and I'm more than a little scared of her kicking my ass for maybe looking at you the wrong way, so it's really been me who's been out of touch. But, baby, seriously, it's warm here on the left and many of us love you and we sort of miss the Senator the National Journal dubbed "The Most Liberal Senator in 2007." I think we especially miss that guy after reading your comments to the Christian magazine Relevant that it's cool to limit when women can get late term abortions, not that we aren't worried that you were getting distant after your FISA position, and the faith-based initiatives flirtation and that Iraq withdrawal timetable thing last week. Sweetie, we miss you. More »
crappy hour
Leona Helmsley's Dog May Not Talk, But He Can Sort Of Explain The Recession
Today's evidence the economy is going straight to the Inferno: 600 Starbucks stores are closing, which will leave a gaping hole in the anchor of countless strip malls and exurban power centers. Oil prices have sunk car sales and rentals to historic lows, and the fact no one is traveling anymore has left casinos struggling to pay the power bills. How did the whole world collapse so quickly? If only Leona Helmsley's dog could talk, folks! (Nobody knows the trouble Trouble has seen.) See, fundamentally not much has changed, but the nature of the market is to exaggerate. Oil prices, which should maybe be around $100 a barrel, have been driven up by speculators. GM stock is at a 53-year low over car sales that are only at a 10-year low. Casinos are power-greedy structures that are generally loaded down with a few billion dollars in debt before they even open and there are 11,500 Starbucks locations that will stick around to sate your dependence on caffeinated milkshakes. But as Leona Helmsley once pointed out, only the little people pay taxes, and only the little people really have to worry about this recession stuff. Dick Grasso is keeping his $140 million payout, the CEO of Starbucks is keeping his billion dollar net worth, and little Trouble here is keeping his $100,000-a-year bodyguard services. That, torture and Obama's mortgage with me and Megan after the jump. More »
crappy hour
The GOP Can't Save Itself, And We Won't Help
Moe is on the (supposedly) WiFi-enabled bus from Virginia, taking in the greatness of America (or at least that section between D.C. and New York City) while I'm stuck in upstate New York, so it's another episode of reverse-polarity Crappy Hour! We talk oil, what the GOP is doing wrong, what is wrong about what the GOP thinks it is doing wrong, what is a capital-punishment worthy offense (hint: advertising WiFi on your bus and not providing it) and kissing Bill Clinton's ass. It's all after the jump! More »
crappy hour
The Evilest Evildoer In Administration Evil Shows His Evil Face!
Meet David Addington, Dick Cheney's Dick Cheney, the dark force behind the dark force behind the defenestration of the constitution. You may have met him before, via that New Yorker piece wherein Colin Powell tries to get it through someone's thick skull that the Bush Administration doesn't care about the Constitution. But you have never before probably seen the bearlike Baddington, because they don't let him out; he scares too many other Republicans. But! Yesterday he testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee. And oh my god he did not disappoint! He tugged on his beard! He was radioactive with disdain! "I'm glad the terrorists finally get to see you!" one congressman "joked." So what motivates such a man? As a child, he wore black socks with shorts and subscribed to the notion of "the divine right of kings." As an adult, his views were hardened by the sad sad spectacle of the Church Committee, which put a damper on the ability of future presidents to pull off the sort of assassinations, coups, North Korean-inspired mind-control experiments, and warrantless wiretapping Nixon had so loved. Megan and I on the man with the Grace of Gollum and John McCain's sexism, whether feminists should buy guns, and Stevie Wonder's iPod after the jump. More »
How Does Lara Logan Get Iraq News On National TV? A Little Thing She Learned From The Terrorists…
Lara Logan is a CBS News correspondent in Iraq who just got a big promotion after telling Jon Stewart last that the "soldiers feel forgotten." The promotion means she will come back to DC, which won't necessarily help the soldiers' predicament much, but…well, I'd say at least she probably won't die, but she said herself on national television that watching American television news makes her want to kill herself. If you haven't seen the clip yet, — or if you were too distracted by how fucking gorgeous she is to catch everything she said about self-censorship and the plight of the soldiers and how scant coverage of the latest massive roadside bombing that left more than 50 dead might suggest we've become dehumanized or something — click the picture. (Or if that's too depressing, check our literary critique of Vogue's impressive profile of Ms. Logan.) [Daily Show]
literal bombshells
Women's Lives Becoming Increasingly Expendable In War Zones
The end result of a suicide bombing remains the same whether it's the work of a woman or a man. And yet, female suicide bombers remain relatively rare in Iraq, despite the lower status of women in society as a whole. There have been less than 30 female suicide bombers of more than 1,000 total in Iraq since the "end" of the war, but their numbers are increasing. Some, like the disabled women and young teenager killed this year, are not believed to be wholly in charge of their detonations, while others are believed to be at least nominally in charge of their own destinies, including the woman reportedly responsible for the pictured devastation. So why have the numbers been going up, and what is the military doing about it? More »
There Really Aren't Ways In Which They Won't Lie
Army Specialist Kamisha Block died last summer in what the Army officially characterized as a non-combat incident and told her family was a case of "friendly fire." Well, if by "friendly" they meant "deliberately killed by a fellow soldier that had been abusing her without punishment to date" and by "fire" they meant "shot her five times and then killed himself," then it was an honest assessment of the situation. Otherwise, they just straight out lied to cover up the fact that the Army failed to protect one of its soldiers from domestic abuse and then lied to cover up the end result of their not-benign neglect. [Military Times, Beaumont Examiner, Editor&Publisher]
crappy hour
Obama Is A Machiavellian Ari Gold Sellout! Will Scarlett Johansson Notice?
Yesterday while Crappy Hour was in progress Barack Obama totally sold out the like MAJOR ISSUE OF HIS WHOLE POLITICAL CAREER and we didn't really talk about it because the campaign's media fellater relations department still hadn't distributed its key talking points, but then they sent out this video and as you can see, there is really no need for Obama to take $80 million from you taxpayers in the interest of running a "clean" campaign if he has made quite enough money already collecting from clean individuals like you and me! (Put another way: why build a welfare state when, like Toqueville pointed out, Americans have such a rich tradition of charity, concern for fellow man etc?) Anyway, so it's Friday, which means that even if we don't think this financing thing is such a huge biggie David Brooks is using it as a chance to dissuade Scarlett Johansson from carrying such a heaving torch for Obama by likening him to a fictional soulless Jew and Peggy Noonan is reminding us again of the meaning of life and everyone else is still fighting about oil and Megan and I try to get to the bottom of how much we can blame the crap economy on the war and get distracted by cute patriotic dogs. More »
crappy hour
Oil: There's No Doubt, We're In Deep Guys!
So Big Oil is finally going to get some payback for its tireless efforts promoting that disastrous invasion of The Iraq! Megan and I are sooooo happy for them. The "unusual" no-bid contracts about to be awarded to Exxon, BP, Shell, Total and Chevron reunite all the original partners in the Iraq Petroleum Company that held a monopoly on Iraqi oil exploration until 1961 when some communist decided that wasn't "fair" to the Iraqi people and nationalized oil, which is incidentally what the Republicans are accusing the Democrats of trying to do over here. Newt Gingrich was on Fox this morning telling everyone America needs to "Declare Energy Independence" on July 4 this year but like this apparently Robert Palmer inspired propaganda poster points out we're probably going to have to figure out how to detox somehow, which would be one thing if we had some sort of growing employment sector to withstand the rising prices, like the South Koreans who are busy making all the ships out there looking for oil. That and Obama says no thanks to a nationalized campaign, some Bear Stearns guys get arrested and Larry Sinclair is insane with me and Megan after the jump. More »
news roundup
Beaver, Trollops and Drinking, Oh My!
- Not to in any way indicate that we have anything less than the utmost horror and offense for torture, but Lt. Col. Diane Beaver who once urged our armed forces to conduct more brutal interrogations at Gitmo, testified today before the Senate Armed Services Committee about her role in torturing various people. Even when the jokes aren't appropriate, we still have to make them. [Washington Independent]
- Really, it was the fault of this video, which you should not listen to at your office without earphones, that explores in great depth why the news media didn't cover the "John McCain called his wife a cunt" story. [Erica Saves the Day, Glamocracy]
- Also, studies show you're drinking more than you think you're drinking, so tip your bartender well! [LA Times]
- Oh, what you wanted real news? Fine. Check in with me after the jump.
ichat from baghdad
"Love Has To Be Calculated In Iraq Today... They Think Women Are Machines"
Iraq is not an easy place to do much of anything these days, but perhaps most tragically, it is an impossible place to love, which is to say, "someone else." Shia men married to Sunni women are regularly forced to divorce their wives, and vice versa. Rand Abdel-Qader was beaten to death by her father and brothers for nursing an imaginary love affair with a British soldier. Upon investigating this honor killing, the police congratulated Rand's father, who blamed his wife's lustful genes for polluting his daughter. And when said wife tried to leave him and flee to Jordan, she was assassinated. "The way he was speaking about his daughter and wife was like if they were animals and not human beaings," says journalist Afif Sarhan (above left), who spoke to Rand's father for the Guardian and was sitting in his native Brazil, probably nursing a cold beer on a beach somewhere, when he learned poor Rand's infatuation had claimed its second victim and rushed back to cover the story. "Love has to be calculated in Iraq today," a country in which Sarhan says quite simply, "they think of women as machines." More »
No Blood For Oil
