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cover lies
maghag
LOLVogue: Superhero Photo Shoot Gets Super Stoopid
The May issue of Vogue is really weird. From the RoboGwyneth cover and interior spread (do Vogue readers care a whit about Iron Man?) to the fact that Smallville's Tom Welling (???) is in a photo shoot, it's all kinds of creeptastic. This has something to do with the fact that this month, The Costume Institute's spring show is about superhero style, and Vogue always considers the opening night shindig to be the gala of the year. Anyway, there's a photo story, shot by Craig McDean, that was begging for the LOL treatment. (Familiarize yourself here.) These "superheroes" in evening gowns may not be able to save your life, but they can try and distract you from the drudgery of your day. We're puttin werds on ur moddles, after teh jump. More »
tech appeal
Scientists Create Computer That Can Comprehend "Beauty"
Scientists at Tel Aviv University claim to have created a computer program that can recognize human attractiveness. Here's what they did: they had thirty men and women look at 100 images of young, white women and judge the "beauty" of each image. Then, according to EurekAlert, "Based on human preferences, the machine 'learned' the relation between facial features and attractiveness scores and was then put to the test on a fresh set of faces." The computer rankings turned out to be very similar to the rankings people gave, and so the scientists are surmising that the computer is "interpreting" beauty on a human level. On researcher, Amit Kagian, says "I believe that some kind of universal correctness to beauty exists in nature, an aesthetic interpretation of the universal truth. But because each of us is trapped with our own human biases and personalized viewpoints, this may detract us from finding the ultimate formula to a complete understanding of beauty." More »
clips
Earlier: South Park Takes A Trip To Heavy Metal
Sci-Fi For Women: Marrying Your Vibrator
Remember that South Park episode that spoofed that sci-fi, fanboy-jerk-off-material movie Heavy Metal? Here's a clip from the original, in which a woman has sex with a robot and decides to get married to it after "experiencing ecstasy with mechanical equipment." It's kinda NSFW due to naked cartoon breasts.Earlier: South Park Takes A Trip To Heavy Metal
signature psychoses
Dear Cosmo Girl Hayden "Heroes" Panettiere: "Better To Be The Turtle Than The Hare"
It's almost spring, so it's probably fitting that Cosmopolitan has decided to put Heroes actress Hayden Panettiere on the cover of its April issue (right next to the words "SEX GENIUS" in 64-point type!). Not only is Panettiere a budding star — after she gets her first big, silver-screen role her handlers will no doubt go after the cover of the glossier, more respected Glamour — and a budding adult (she's just 18), but, according to graphologist Sheila Kurtz, she's got "buds of an imagination, but no apparent follow through." (Ouch?) After the jump, Kurtz weighs in on the actress' handwriting, as seen on the "Cosmo Quiz" accompanying Hayden's newly-released cover story. More »
the book of jezebel
Do We Have The Ten Commandments Because Moses Was High On Ayahuasca?
An Israeli religious scholar and professor of cognitive psychology is advancing the thesis that the Ten Commandments, the moral foundation of the religious faith that have guided billions and billions of people for thousands of years, were revealed that fateful night on Mt. Sinai because Moses was high. On what? (Wouldn't it have been awesome if it were Ecstasy? wouldn't that make for a great sequel to those hilarious "Religions of the World" T-shirts? Or better yet, one of those signs in bar bathrooms with like the "Zen guide to life" or whatever? I never remember the valuable things I learn from the posters in bar bathrooms. Except the thing about how you "forget 80% of what you learn every day." Anyway.) Anyway! Sooooo, Moses was high. The scholar, Benny Shanon, seems to think he experienced something like his own experiences on ayahuasca, the hallucinogenic brew indigenous to the Amazon beloved by such luminaries as Johnson & Johnson heiress Libet Johnson. More »
nothin but a g thang
Yes, Virgins, There Is A G-Spot! You Just May Need Some Injections To Fix Yours
The G-spot. Is it possible we have never really discussed this apocryphal palace of erogoversy on Jezebel before? Hey, let's end that now. First, the news: the G-spot is not a myth invented by the dark alliance of Cosmo and your lazy high school boyfriend. No, it is real, scientists have confirmed this. (Okay, Italian scientists, but still.) But there is a catch! Not every woman appears to have one. (How long before Roger Ailes gives us exit polling on how the G-spot deficient demographic votes in elections?) Anyway, so here's the other G-tastic news: you can apparently have a collagen injection (a G-shot, of course!) that will make your G-spot more sensitive! You can apparently get one of these shots at a party. Just like Botulinum Toxin! (Just don't get the syringes mixed up!) How do you find out if you have one? And if you don't, can you get one, like with a kidney? (Kidding!) Answers after the jump! More »
lost and found
I Have An Abusive Boyfriend, And He's Coming Home At 8
Let's just say you had an exciting, seductive, thrilling lover who mysteriously and secretively disappeared, leaving you with hundreds of unanswered questions. Eight months later, he's back. Do you give him an hour of your time? You do if he is a TV show, and if that TV show is Lost. Fans already know the deal: the ABC program is an exercise in exquisite torture, the primetime equivalent of an emotionally abusive relationship. What makes it abusive? Let us count the ways:- According to The National Domestic Violence Hotline, you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner (in this case, the show), tries to isolate you from family or friends. When you watch Lost, the world divides into two groups; those who also watch and those who don't. Even my own mother will be denied and ignored if she dares to call while I'm watching tonight. And heaven forbid if she asks, "What's the show about?"
Field Of Dreams
Crop circles? So 10 years ago. The new phenomenon is sheep circles, which have reportedly emerged on a farm in Herefordshire, England. Most likely a hoax by someone with an active imagination (or a love of the film Black Sheep), but worth checking out nonetheless. (Click on the tag for full-size image.) [Daily Mail]
Crop circles? So 10 years ago. The new phenomenon is sheep circles, which have reportedly emerged on a farm in Herefordshire, England. Most likely a hoax by someone with an active imagination (or a love of the film Black Sheep), but worth checking out nonetheless. (Click on the tag for full-size image.) [Daily Mail]
welcome wagons
We Have Liftoff: Sister Site i09 Launches To Much (Girl Geek) Fanfare
Anxious about what the year 2008 will bring? What about 2070? Forward-focused Jezebels might want to head over to our new science-fiction sister blog, io9, which officially launches today. Described by editor Annalee Newitz as a pop-culture site in which she and her team of writers get to focus on "fantasies as well as realities in terms of what's going on in the future," the blog focuses on stuff we love — books, movies, Lost! — and stuff we don't, but might — space porn, "how to shit in space". And you gotta love that half-creepy, half-cute as a button girl-with-implant avatar.
What Is An io9? [io9]
Related: Gawker Blasts Into Sci-Fi With New Blog, I09 [Wired]
Gawker Media Gets Strung Out On Sci-Fi [NY Times]
