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posts about #interventionbret more → Should Young Children Be Involved In A Parent's Intervention?
New York, 8:09 PM
Fri Dec 18
69 posts in the last 24 hours
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Should Young Children Be Involved In A Parent's Intervention? |
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07/14/09
the intervention seemed a little more confrontational than usual, and was perhaps counter-productive in that regard.
what a sad segment.
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That boy looks about 14. He's not a small child. He's old enough to have written that articulate speech and therefore old enough to have feelings he's aware of and want to express them to his father. It wouldn't be fair to him for everyone else to have their day of expression and the boy not to. He deserves his catharsis too.
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However, even having said that, the intervention still had a framework and professionals and (as I understand it) involved copious counseling for all. Minus taking the kids in the car on the way to stop him, it strikes me as having been well-conducted.
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Both at the time, and in retrospect, it seemed like a good idea to me. I hated it, I cried hysterically, but you know what? It gave me a chance to tell my mom what her drinking was doing to me, how much it scared me, and how much I loved her and needed her to stop (god damn it, I'm crying now!). In our case, the intervention worked immediately, and I can see that I might feel differently if my mother had kept drinking, and I certainly think that the kids in this case should not have been brought along on the mission to get the gun. I also have issues with the broadcast of such things, especially if kids are involved, but in this case, I can see that a greater good may well be served. Bottom line, though: The kids live with the addiction every.single.second of their lives. An intervention is at least an opportunity to say "This is wrong, and I have a say in the matter." I think that's really, really important. Also, in this specific case, they got 104 days of their dad that they would never have had, and they get to know that they were a big piece of why that happened.
Postscript: My mom got sober and has stayed that way, for nearly 34 years. Thanks Mom! You rock! (yep, still crying).
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I can see the validity in both sides-- and maybe because I know what it's like to grow up like that, and I honestly don't know what I would choose if given the opportunity to participate in an intervention for a parent. And I'm nineteen, not nine. I'd want to let them know how they've affected me in some capacity, but... I don't know.
There's obviously not a lone correct answer, and I'm glad that the situation worked out in a way so that these children don't seem to regret their choice, and that they got to have a father for a little while.
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That said, I don't think that children should be shielded from intervention, as it encourages them to talk about the behavior and how it impacts their lives. Otherwise, the problem gets shoved into a dark corner, they begin to not trust adults. But yes, getting the gun from the house, not cool.
07/14/09
As a commenter said below, perhaps the kids would have REGRETTED not being involved, considering their father died shortly after the intervention, and though peace will be difficult for them to find, every bit helps.
That being said, taking them in an area where he had access to a loaded gun was completely reckless. If they were worried about this, they could have called the police. At the very least, the children could have been left with the crew.
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Agreed.
I'm *assuming* that they gave both children the option of participating in the intervention. If the kids wanted to be there, I think they absolutely should have been allowed to speak.
At ten, the son was definitely old enough to want to have his voice heard at the intervention. Think about it: His entire life had been spent with an alcoholic parent. So much control had already been taken from him by his dad's disease.
Why take even more control away from him, when clearly he had a lot to say? Why make him feel even more powerless?
It was an awful situation in any case; it would have been made even more awful if Kyle had to live with the thought that he'd not gotten to say his piece.
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I totally agree about the gun thing though, that is soooo not appropriate to involve children in, and often I've seen on this show the police get involved and be really co-operative with the interventionist, I'm sure they would have gone in and got the gun and not had the involve the kids.
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