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Kissin' Cousins

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ceejeemcbeegee is not here
01/10/09

In reply to Kissin' Cousins
My people are of the "knowing head nod" persuasion. A pound or fist bump is also acceptable.
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SomeAuthorGirl
01/10/09

In reply to Kissin' Cousins
Hee hee, this was a great thread. I recently had a very funny friend of mine (American) expound on this, at great and amusing length, and wonder why he was always bumping noses with Europeans. No matter which side he should be starting on, he accidentally starts on the opposite. Then wonders if the Europeans are laughing at him on the inside, a serial nose-bumper.
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MediasBlue
01/10/09

In reply to Kissin' Cousins
Errr, what about a handshake? Or a nice smile and a head bob? I've never been around people who kiss a greeting (not such a big thing here in the rural US) so I'm not sure what I would do other than wonder why that person was in my space...
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takeitasred
01/10/09

In reply to Kissin' Cousins
this topic is extremely relevant to my life. I attend a masters program at a university filled with international students. There is endless confusion over whether to kiss the dutch way or the way they kiss in their country. Here is what I have learnt so far in terme of general rules:

Dutch: 3, right cheek-left-right.

Italian: 3, left-right-left. This is endlessly confusing when you are used to the Dutch style.

French: 2. right-left.

Mexico (and all of South America as far as I know): 1. right.

A group of us went to Chile together in November and some are still holding onto the one kiss greeting. Hilariously, my Italian friend will now say "Santiago!" to inform me he is going for the one kiss greeting to avoid confusion.

If you mess up it's no big deal; you just laugh it off together.
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haguenite
01/10/09

@takeitasred: I'm Dutch and I do left-right-left. Sometimes the other way around. Usually I take my cue from the person I'm kissing.

Three kisses are tiring though, especially if you walk into a party with lots of people you know. Usually my friends and I just do one, but we always shout out a warning first ("Just one today") so that the other person isn't awkwardly left hanging.
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haguenite
01/10/09

@haguenite: To which I would like to add that I only do the kissy thing with relatives and friends/good acquaintances. Also, it's mostly a female/female or female/male thing, not a male/male thing (in The Netherlands, at least). Men shake hands.

Most women shake hands with people they don't know well or people they're meeting for the first time, and it's not just a business thing. In informal social settings (say, a bar) you will also shake hands often. When you exchange names, you shake hands. I was told by my sister, who did a high school year in the US, that her friends there thought this was hilariously weird and formal, but here it's just good manners. I wonder if their age had anything to do with it.

But I never see it on TV either. Man, when I go to the US this is going to be so strange. What do you do when you're introduced to someone? Just say "hi"? Do an awkward little wave, Mr Collins-in-P&P-1995-edition-style?

When I was little, kisses were not required yet, but shaking hands was mandatory at birthdays and family get-togethers. I think I moved on to the three kisses thing at 11 or something. It makes one feel quite grown up!
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resonanteye
01/10/09

In reply to Kissin' Cousins
universal; kiss hand, throw at person, smile.
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bowleserised
01/10/09

In reply to Kissin' Cousins
I was accustomed to the London literary lovey two-kiss, then travelled to Canada and seemed to seriously disturb some people by doing that, and now in Germany I just regularly make a hash of it all and just laugh. I wonder what the procedure is here?
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musicpup
01/10/09

@bowleserised: Among older Germans, it's a handshake or a hug (if you know them). Among younger people, it's two kisses - at least in BaWü where I was/am.
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ratz
01/10/09

In reply to Kissin' Cousins
wow... my repressed irish catholic family kisses on the mouth. We started as babies and never changed. Do you think it's because we are unable to say "i love you"?
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inabook
01/10/09

@ratz: My family (midwestern, small town, protestant) also mouth kisses for goodbyes. I HATE it. But I can't get out of it. And I don't know how I'm going to deal when I bring my boyfriend home and he witnesses it.

Also, I always want to spit after I have to kiss the one aunt who is the only person I truly hate. Sigh.
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CherriSpryte
01/09/09

In reply to Kissin' Cousins
I never know, if I'm doing the 2-kiss European thing, which cheek to go to first. Which is kinda awkward. Also I'm left handed, which I kinda think makes me go for the "wrong" side first.

I'm a fan of hugs, with a kiss on the cheek thrown in for family/close friends/drunkenness.
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NOLA girl
01/09/09

In reply to Kissin' Cousins
We tend to do the one kiss on the right down here. But it's more of the cheek touching, smouching the air type. Not done as much by the younger folks.
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ellaesther
01/09/09

In reply to Kissin' Cousins
I just learned from a Palestinian today that, depending where you're from, it might even be: One kiss on the right cheek and then two on the left.

Among Israelis it's all a mish-mash depending on your background. I could never keep it straight, and mostly gave up after one kiss. But I am proud to say that I introduced the one-kiss-on-the-cheek to my circle of delightful American friends.
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BoozeInMyBlood[had lost her password]
01/09/09

In reply to Kissin' Cousins
i dislike strangers touching me, which leads to awkwardness when my Puerto Rican boyfriends mom is always touching me and pressing her cheek to mine.

i adore the culture, i just hate being touched.
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Brigit
01/09/09

@ForgetfulBitch [has a job interview in an hour!!!]: It's never gonna go away dude. It was really hard for me to control the reflex of air kissing people I know on the cheek.

My suegra (I'm a Boricua married to another Boricua) randomly hugs me and has even pinched my cheeks.

Good luck on the interview!! [crosses fingers]
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battleaxonista...is a humorless bitch
01/09/09

In reply to Kissin' Cousins
In my homeland it's no kisses unless it's Clive Owen, then it's a half hour make out sessions.
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Gretchen is a new kitten mom!
01/09/09

In reply to Kissin' Cousins
When in Europe I do two. For close friends who live in Europe then it is three. Unless it is the owner of a major instrument manufacturer whom Mr. G does some consulting work for... I'll always give Gerhardt FOUR kisses. Because he is the man.

You just go with the flow on these things.
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WaltzingMatilda
01/09/09

In reply to Kissin' Cousins
All I need to hear:

You French great.

-Paul Rudd - Wet Hot American Summer
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Penelope Lane
01/09/09

@WaltzingMatilda(theOriginal):

You taste like a burger. I don't like you anymore!
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WaltzingMatilda
01/09/09

@posy: I'm not all smart like you!
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Mr. Mittens (né nodoubt9203)
01/09/09

In reply to Kissin' Cousins
well in mexico i think it depends on your status, but in my family it's one or two kisses or the snide cheek bump with air kiss.
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