Jezebel: instyle

InStyle: A Found Poem

Anna N. — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 14:30:00 EDT

There's just so much advice in this month's InStyle. Things to want! Rules to break! Rules for breaking those rules! After a while the sheer volume of contradicting imperatives begins to seem poetic, yet absurd. InStyle cries out to be made into a Dadaist poem! As you may know, a true Dadaist poem actually requires that you cut out words from the source material and pull them out of a bag at random. But since InStyle reports (twice!) that there is no "it" bag for fall, I wasn't sure which bag to use. And so I have created a found poem instead, using only actual phrases and images from the magazine. See the results — and add your own — after the jump.

Be a free spirit
match your necklaces and bracelets
mark your calendar and race to a store

Forgo the grand flourish
keep the colors up top subdued
choose a gown boasting more yardage than anybody else's

Stand up straight
moisturize as you cleanse
add further funk with contrasting tights

Join the costume party without losing your shirt
you don't have to spend a fortune
cheap shoes will bring the whole look down

Brush black powder from the lash line to the brow line
coil remaining hair into a loose bun
fill it with red gum balls!

Think you can do better? Got another magazine or website you want to try the found treatment on? Poetry is what comments were made for! Have at it.

Practical Tips For "Personal Style" Or, Why Not To Listen To Women's Magazines

Sadie — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 15:00:00 EDT

I was thumbing through the July issue of InStyle the other day and ran across one of those ubiquitous "find your personal style" pieces that then, of course, gives you a narrow range of "personal styles" by which to define oneself, and then, this being InStyle, tells you what celebrity you should look like. (The suspiciously Cosmo-esque quiz, by the by, seemed perhaps to be part of the mag's new push to compete more in the gossip mag marketplace.) Naturally I took the quiz — lots of stuff like,"which one of these is your ideal white shirt?' — and discovered I am somewhere between "The Naturalist" (Natalie Portman), 'The Romantic' (Penelope Cruz) and 'The Trendster' (I believe Sienna Miller.) (You could also be a Bombshell, and a Sophisticate. Nothing else.) Amazingly enough, I didn't feel InStyle had managed to capture my ethos.

I've never really understood the thinking behind this kind of piece. I mean, I do, people read them, but they're fundamentally idiotic. Would I like to look like Audrey Hepburn or Jackie O? Um, yeah. Do I? Six inches and an empty bank account say No. That said, I totally get the attraction to the idea of taking something really complicated, like self-expression, and breaking it down into a few simple rules.

A few people have written to ask if I have some tips along these lines. This has prompted me to dole out the one piece of practical fashion advice I will ever attempt to dole out, ever. If you don't want to read something kind of FashMag, avoid the bracketed portion below. Because, as it happens, I do have a tip. Wait for it.

Know your era. Learn this and you've done half the work.

If you go through the major fashion eras of the 20th C, you'll see that different silhouettes and body types were in vogue. Find the one that matches you. (I guess if you want to wear a toga or something that's your prerogative too, but I'm limiting this to the past century.) I'm not saying go around in costume; rather, modern fashion is so friggin' PoMo that every shape is referencing some era anyway, and it's possible to come across virtually any shape in the current marketplace. Skinny? 20s and 60s. Curves? Go for 50s, sexy 70s or 80s. It's not rocket surgery, as my beef would say, but it's foolproof.

I, for one, am a 1940s and a 1970s. The high-waisted trousers and fitted shapes of those eras just work for me. (And sure there are multiple styles within an era: I'm talking more Network than caftan.) I'm too short for the volume of the 50s and too curvy for mod or flapper. What's more, my curly hair and glasses works with these shapes. This is not to say this is the era to which I'm most attracted: if I could do some streamlined Jean Seberg thing, I'd do it in a second. But two little things called breasts have always gotten in my way. In any case, I like the limitation; it makes choices way easier. I'm not saying you can't experiment, but if you want a formula, that's the best I know. ]

I also think it's a pernicious myth that everyone needs to cultivate some earth-shattering 'personal style' look. You don't, any more than you need to excel at archery or confectionary. Very few people have the skill. Unlike these things, however, everyone does need to wear clothes, so you might as well find what works for you. It's hard nowadays because there are so many cut-rate versions of every absurd high-fash trend, each one presenting the appearance of fashion virtuosity in a mass-marketed $15 package. And ironically enough, this preoccupation with fashion icons, and modeling ourselves upon them, seems to have grown apace with the galloping low-end ready-to-wear market, that's done as much to homogenize our aesthetic as McDonald's has to ruin our diet. No wonder InStyle's lame quizzes sell. I remember being totally overwhelmed when I was younger not just by the pressure to look okay but to somehow express my interestingness and creativity via what I wore, and the best advice I can give anybody in my capacity as former horrible dresser, bespectacled woman and retail professional is to ignore what my mother calls 'the herd of independent minds' screaming at you to define yourself, choose an era and keep your head down. Fashion is not particularly accessible, but clothes are. So begins and ends my glorious career as service piece writer - but I do hope that helps!

Star Style Profiles [InStyle]
Related: Getting Back In Style [WWD]

Tom Ford Wants To Take Barack Obama's Clothes Off

Jennifer — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:30:00 EDT

"I think he's a great-looking guy but I think his suits don't fit him very well...I wouldn't say he's badly dressed, but he could sharpen up his look a little better." —Tom Ford on Barack Obama. [Vogue UK]
Holy. Fucking. Shit. Comme des Garcons for H&M? Start lining up for this now. [WWD, sub req'd]
Jude Law is set to be the face of a yet-to-launch men's fragrance from Dior. It will invariably smell douchey. [Cosmetics News]
Your cell phone does not need its own pair of Crocs. [Sassybella]

The Murakami-Louis Vuitton show at the Brooklyn Museum is kind of a big "fuck you" to counterfeiters. [WWD, sub req'd]
Liz Claiborne CEO WIlliam McComb took a 2% paycut this year, making only $8.9 million for 2007. Poor guy. [Crain's]
Word on the street is that Alessandro Dell'Acqua wants to be the new creative head of Malo. [Vogue UK]
Two resignations from Harper's Bazaar in under a month? And both of them to go to InStyle? Ouch. [Fashion Week Daily]
This just in! Fashion has just discovered a new-fangled contraption that lets people communicate, transmit information, and buy expensive shit with the greatest of ease. It's called the Internet. [WWD, sub req'd]
Kate Moss acting? Uh, stick to modeling, tootsie. [Sassybella]
Dude, how crazy is it that American Apparel will be selling American-made clothes in China? [LATimes]
The new St. Ives campaign focuses around the slogan "Get a happy face." Because loving your wrinkles should be a positive experience, they say. [Brandweek]
The Greeks buy more designer clothes than any other country. Who knew? [WWD, sub req'd]
Another reason to love Patricia Clarkson: "You will never guess where I bought these earrings: Sears! They came free with a washer and dryer." Love. [WWD, sub req'd]

Most Ladymags Continuing To Experience Whiteout Conditions

dodai — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:00:00 EST

January is traditionally the month in which the fashion magazines are slimmer than usual. Not the models — the actual publications. In the post-holiday issues, advertising pages are down, and compared to December, it's a slow month in terms of projects, news and celebrities. So often, January is the month you'll find a person of color on the cover! And lo and behold, Rihanna is on Allure, looking gorgeous. (Christina Aguilera is on Marie Claire.) Our own Maria-Mercedes Lara did a tireless search through the January issues of W, Harper's Bazaar, Vogue, Marie Claire, Allure, Glamour, Lucky, Elle and Cosmopolitan, looking for women of color (she uses "ambiguous race" to describe models clearly not meant to be seen as "white.") Her tallies, after the jump.

Women Of Color In The January Fashion Magazines:

W :
Total number of ads: 30
Total number of black women: 2 (1 celebrity; 1 young girl for Marc Jacobs)
Total number of Asian women: 0
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 1

Total number of fashion spreads: 2
Total number of black women: 0
Total number of Asian women: 0
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 0

InStyle:
Total number of ads: 61
Total number of black women: 4 (no celebs)
Total number of Asian women: 1
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 0

Total number of fashion spreads: 0 (not counting Katie Holmes)
Total number of black women: 0
Total number of Asian women: 0
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 0

Allure:
Total number of ads: 50
Total number of black women: 5 (3 celebrities)
Total number of Asian women: 1 (a "real woman" for Proactiv)
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 2 (1 celebrity)

Total number of fashion spreads: 1
Total number of black women: 0 (but Rihanna is on the cover!)
Total number of Asian women: 0
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 0

Vogue:
Total number of ads: 54
Total number of black women: 8 (3 celebrities)
Total number of Asian women: 1 (1 celebrity)
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 1

Total number of fashion spreads: 3
Total number of black women: 1 (Chanel Iman, in the accessories spread)
Total number of Asian women: 0
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 0

Harper's Bazaar:
Total number of ads: 29
Total number of black women: 1 (1 celebrity)
Total number of Asian women: 1 (1 celebrity)
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 2

Total number of fashion spreads: 3
Total number of black women: 1 (Liya Kebede, in an actual fashion spread!)
Total number of Asian women: 0
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 0

Elle:
Total number of ads: 49
Total number of black women: 2
Total number of Asian women: 1
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 1

Total number of fashion spreads: 3
Total number of black women: 0
Total number of Asian women: 1 (Miss Universe, Riyo Mori)
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 0

Lucky:
Total number of ads: 43
Total number of black women: 5 (1 celebrity, 1 "real woman")
Total number of Asian women: 0
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 0

Total number of fashion spreads: 1
Total number of black women: 0
Total number of Asian women: 0
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 0

Cosmopolitan:
Total number of ads: 59
Total number of black women: 5 (1 "real woman")
Total number of Asian women: 2 (1 "real woman")
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 0

Total number of fashion spreads: 1
Total number of black women: 0
Total number of Asian women: 0
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 0

Marie Claire:
Total number of ads: 31
Total number of black women: 5 (1 "real woman")
Total number of Asian women: 0
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 2 (1 "real woman")

Total number of fashion spreads: 2
Total number of black women: 0
Total number of Asian women: 0
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 0

Glamour:
Total number of ads: 46
Total number of black women: 6 (2 celebrities)
Total number of Asian women: 0
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 1 (Jessica Alba?)

Total number of fashion spreads: 3
Total number of black women: 0
Total number of Asian women: 0
Total number of women of ambiguous race: 0

Even though January is a slow month, there are many zeroes in the tally above. Non-white models exist! You just won't see them in today's mainstream fashion magazines — despite the fact that black models worked constantly the '80s and '90s. Advertisers know who's out there spending cash, so they attempt to show diversity in their images. But the editors still seem to think that being non-white is "unfashionable." (But guess what? Black men are totally cool and cover-appropriate!) How long are we going to look for black, Latina and Asian models? As long as the billion dollar fashion industry continues to be so blatantly color-blind.

Earlier: Merry Christmas, Black Models, Wherever You Are
Where Are All The Black Models? Let's Start By Asking Anna Wintour
Is Prada To Blame For the Lack Of Black Models?
We're Still Looking For Black Models
Men's Vogue: Not Afraid Of Black People
What's The Message Behind A Black Man In Heels On The Cover Of Vogue?

Nicole Miller Follows In Footsteps Of Anna Wintour, Pisses PETA Off

Jennifer — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 10:00:00 EDT

PETA will be protesting outside of Nicole Miller's Fashion Week show because of her use of fur. And in a (failed) preemptive strike, Miller has issued a statement promising that only 12 of 150,000 pieces to be manufactured from the Spring/Summer 2008 collection being shown will contain fur trim. She also promises to be fur-free starting with her Fall/Winter 2008 collection to be shown in February. [WWD, sub req'd]
MySpace continues its foray into fashionmania, partners with InStyle, airs release of Paris Hilton's clothing line at LA's Kitson. Oh yeah: This is definitely what the road to success looks like. [WWD, 2nd item]
Paper magazine has hired thirteen developmentally-challenged artists to create a window display for Barneys interpreting the Fall/Winter 207 collections. [WWD, 2nd item]
Crocs: The clothing line? Noooooooooooooooooooooo. [WSJ]

Uniqlo! Contest! T-shirt design! $866,290 (approx) prize. Dude, we've never designed anything, but sure as hell are gonna try now. [Vogue UK]
A bunch of designers — including, um, Scarlett Johansson — have created charms for a limited-edition charm bracelet on sale to benefit Cancer Research UK. [Vogue UK]
We sorta love the idea of a clothing lined named "To Sir With Love." [Vogue UK]
The CEO of Perry Ellis says they're trying to catch the trend first and go green with their designs. Uh, hasn't Stella McCartney been doing this for like the past 7 years? [NYT]
Case in point: Purchase of organic clothing and cosmetics are up by 20% this year in the UK. [Telegraph]
Kinda barfy fashion news of the day: Lancome's chief make-up artist Gucci Westman designed a signature lipstick for designer Thakoon to showcase during his upcoming Spring/Summer 2008 collection. And it's called Pout-a-Porter. Ew. [Sassybella]
Pee-your-pants quote-of-the-day: Designer Lela Rose on her favorite look from her upcoming Spring/Summer 2008 collection: "One of my favorites is a sporty taffeta anorak paired with a sweetheart dress made of guipure lace over burlap linen." [The Fashion Informer]

'InStyle' Editor Charla Lawhon: Friendly, Outgoing, Fast Thinker!

Dodai — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 11:00:28 EDT

Charla Lawhon was part of the original team of editors during InStyle's 1993 test period at Time Inc. She was later appointed deputy editor of InStyle in 1994, and became executive editor in December 1998. According to one Jezebel, who has worked for her, she is the nicest boss that Jezebel has ever had: down to earth, funny, decent. InStyle — EXCEPT FOR OUR POSTS ABOUT FORMER ACCESS. DIRECTOR ALICE KIM — does not have gossip or drama circulating around it, and for a reason: because it is a nice place to work, from the top down. But see what graphologist Sheila Kurtz says, after the jump!

At the very end of Charla Lawhon's last name, the final stroke of the "n" flies out high into space, a sign of a tremendous desire for attention and personal praise. If she does a good job she needs strokes and rewards for it. She requires someone to assure her how well she is doing.

The slant of the writing is somewhat to the right, an indication of a
personality that is friendly and appears to be outgoing. The final ending of Charla is strong, an indication of a person not timid about making decisions and taking action.

The writer is analytical ("V"-shaped letter formations) and she can research and probe for facts upon which to base her decisions.

There are enough needle-points in her writing (the "r" in Charla and the "w" in her last name) to signal a person who is a top-percentile fast thinker.

There is a left-side loop in the "a" of her last name, a signal that the writer is capable of fooling others because she is capable of fooling herself.

This writers' imagination operates primarily in the abstract (a loop in the "l" formation in her last name), which could be philosophical, perhaps religious. Her signature has a nice rhythm and flow, which may also be true of most of her thinking and movements.

Terrence Howard Thinks Women Are Unclean And Dressed Like Whores

Dodai — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 12:45:00 EDT

The new issue of Elle has an interview with Oscar-nominated actor Terrence Howard. Mr. Howard, of Hustle & Flow and Crash fame, is attractive, that goes without saying. But his thoughts and opinions? Not so much! Some snippets from Elle:

"I like women who look like me. Generally, you're attracted to women who look like you, because the most beautiful thing in nature is your own reflection."

On his relationship philosophy:

"If a relationship is built on sexuality, it won't last long. Now I'm completely chaste through a relationship unless I get married. I don't believe in premarital sex. It enabled me to date three or four women at the same time, because as long as I wasn't having sex with them, I could always just walk away. There were some [past girlfriends] who pushed for sex, and sometimes they won. Afterward, I would feel unclean, like I'd compromised my own values. So I would have to let them go because they didn't help me to be a stronger person."

On his deal-breaker:

"Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean."

On his divorce:

"I was in love with her, but she was not in love with me. I can't be upset because she doesn't find me the most beautiful thing on the planet."

Jezebel's own Anna Holmes was once fortunate enough to interview Mr. Howard for InStyle, and came away with the impression that he hates women. (That part didn't make it into her article!) For one, says Anna, during the interview, Mr. Howard was going through his closet and showing her his favorite clothes — when her arm brushed his. Mr. Howard flinched and said he didn't like "being touched". Other gems? When railing against how 'far" women's fashion has gone — "We've lost modesty" — Mr. Howard told Anna that seeing women dressed provocatively creates a response in him that he can't respond to in a 'natural' way. (Meaning that rape is illegal?). "He then made a comment that women who expose their 'titties' to the public have no right to get angry if people — maybe him? — make remarks about it," she continues. "He said something like 'What's worse, someone exposing themselves or someone commenting on it? Who committed the first sin?'"

Howard's Zen [Elle]

Those 367 New Ways To Please A Man Have Clearly Rendered The Minds At 'Cosmo' Brainless

Jennifer — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 16:45:39 EDT

Breaking news! Cosmopolitan — not so creative! Which is why we're not even mildly shocked by the fact that the very magazine that, to the best of our cognitive abilities, presents identical cover lines and content to us month after month should also assume the recycling method when it comes to expanding its brand. The Hearst magazine's subsidiary title, Cosmopolitan Style & Beauty is nothing more than what the watered down version of what the bastard love child of UsWeekly, Life & Style and InStyle might look like. As the folks at Media Post's Magazine Rack put it:

The thinking behind Cosmopolitan Style & Beauty seems to go something like this: Women like celebrities! Women like to look like the celebrities they like! Women like celebrities who look like celebrities and wear celebrity-like outfits!

Given how this market has been tragically underserved by the media, which has been occupying itself with in-depth coverage of sub-Saharan poverty and disease, the good people at Hearst rushed to fill an unoccupied niche.

Okay, we need to go vomit all over our shoes now. And cry ourselves to sleep. (Not before satisfying our man's 10 Secret Sex Cravings, that is!)

Cosmopolitan Style & Beauty [Magazine Rack]
Related: 10 Sex Cravings All Guys Have [Cosmopolitan]

Lindsay Lohan On Cover Of September 'Elle': Way More Than 'Adequite'

Jennifer — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 11:00:50 EDT

The folks over at Women's Wear Daily are worried about Elle. The paper's media-gossip column 'Memo Pad' is concerned about what Lindsay Lohan's latest DUI arrest means for the Hachette fashion magazine, which is featuring the actress on the cover of its advertiser-heavy, September fashion extravaganza for the 2nd year in a row (last year's cover, above left).

Elle readers seeking pages of fashion and style advice might be turned off by another Lohan arrest and pending court date, which will take place just days after the magazine hits newsstands... sources said Elle's interview and photo shoot took place prior to Lohan's stint in rehab, so it's likely the story doesn't include any discussion of her most recent run-in with the law.

Uh, doesn't that make the upcoming issue even more tantalizing? Also, does no one remember Lohan's appearance on the cover of InStyle's November 2006 issue, which came out just as she was doing AA for the first time and telling director Robert Altman's widow to "be adequite" and all that shit? As far as we've heard, InStyle's issue sold pretty well.

Old News [WWD]

Are Alexander Payne And Misanthropic Fashionista Blogger Alice Kim A Pairing?

Moe — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 19:20:29 EDT

Former In Style Accessories Director and lead 'View From The Fourth Row' blogger suspect Alice Kim is leaving In Style for Omaha, Nebraska, in a development that probably involves internationally-acclaimed "spiritual healer" Dawn Christie and may also concern native Nebraskan and Korean-proclivitor Alexander Payne. (Yeah, that Alexander Payne! Guess we're all going to the wrong cocktail parties, huh?) If true, this sheds light on her mysterious decision, announced last month, to move to Nebraska to open a boutique targeting the white-hot Omaha fashionista population. Apparently the store is still happening, with some financial help from her parents — and also, so it happens, her co-workers! Late last week, an informer tells us, Alice held a little "cubicle sale" of all the free swag she raked in during her years "covering" the luxury leather goods industry. So here's an ethical question: how much of a markup do you charge the employees who suspect you of relentlessly anonymously trashing them on your bitchy fashion blog as you depart for a charmed new life with a Hollywood golden child?

Answer: A lot!

According to a source at In Style, the first item Alice sold was a Burberry bag for which she asked — and received! — $900. Why didn't she sell it on eBay like all the other editors? When's she going to come out about her blog? Will Payne's ex-wife Sandra Oh play Alice in View From The Fourth Row, the critically-fellated indie film chock-full of self-absorbed, merlot-hating fashion world misanthropes? Developing!

Earlier: 'In Style' Accessorian And Champion Bluffer Alice Kim Leaving For Omaha

What Are 'Curves'? Jessica Alba Adds To The Confusion

Anna — Tue, 22 May 2007 11:45:10 EDT

Someone do us a big favor and explain exactly what starlets, editors, stylists and other assorted image-makers mean when they say a woman has "curves". According to People.com (via InStyle magazine) Jessica Alba is announcing that she "had womanly curves at a young age", which we take to mean that she once ate normally and exercised moderately. (We have it on good authority that Jessica's visible ribcage had to be airbrushed out of a recent fashion magazine spread — and it wasn't InStyle's). But women's magazines are so conflicted about the definition of the word "curves" that they use it to describe anyone from boobs-on-a-beanpole models like Gisele Bundchen to "normally"-sized starlets like Scarlett Johansson to plus-size ladies like Camryn Manheim now that she is more, well, minusly-plus-sized.

What, then, are curves? Are they big breasts? Padded hips? 20+ extra pounds of fat? Anything that leads you to work out at the Christian-owned gym Curves? (Like an inability to boycott Christian-owned Domino's Pizza??) Moreover, are "curves" the kind of thing that, when people accuse you of having them, means they are actually subtly undermining you a la "You look really healthy!" (Subtext: "You gained seven pounds and I can so tell!") Seriously, let us know. We don't really want to think about anything substantial today.

Jessica Alba Says She's Really A 'Dork' [People]

Compare & Contrast: 'Marie Claire' vs. 'InStyle'

Anna — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 17:58:59 EDT

(Left: Marie Claire, May 2007; Right: InStyle, October 2006)

Knock-off or inspiration? (Full disclosure: We probably noticed the similarities because we, well, wrote one of them).