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“Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
Study: Men More Likely To Misinterpret Nonverbal Sexual Cues

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Stephanie wishes to kill Tucker Max
06/29/09

In reply to “Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
I've got my eye on the We-Vibe, but it's super expensive and might not work for me. Any users?
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debbyherbenick
06/29/09

@Stephanie wishes to kill Tucker Max:

If you email me through my site (mysexprofessor.com), we can discuss. I've had several people review it for my blog. Very high quality toy, but certain things you might want to consider before investing a lot of $ depending on your plans for using it.
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Lady Skittlehattington
06/29/09

In reply to “Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
Yeah, but just try to beat eggs with it.
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debbyherbenick
06/29/09

In reply to “Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
Thanks for covering our team's vibrator study - as a regular Jezebel reader, I'm loving reading everyone's comments.
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nellicat
06/29/09

@debbyherbenick: Um, EVERY comment?

Aside from that, though, thanks for the study! It was very informative and quite happy-making!
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debbyherbenick
06/29/09

@nellicat:

Yes, every comment (I've got thick skin). "Happy-making" is a great response, btw.
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inabook
06/29/09

@debbyherbenick: Thank you so much for doing that study!
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debbyherbenick
06/29/09

@inabook:

Thank you all for your interest in it! I found it a very interesting study to work on.
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nellicat
06/29/09

In reply to “Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
My daughter found mine a few years back and used it as a microphone to sing into. I had to gently take it back and tell her that Mommy's toys need to stay in Mommy's dresser drawers.
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
06/30/09

@nellicat: Bahahaaa!
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jianna
06/29/09

In reply to “Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
You know what I find odd about the rise in commonness of vibrators is the idea that women NEED one to get themselves off. Like the episode of Weeds when the main lady (whose name I forget, it's been too long) finds her vibrator batteries dead and hunts all over the house for them. I mean really if it's that critical the hand works dandy.

But I don't have a vibrator and never have so maybe I just don't know what I'm missing?
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nellicat
06/29/09

@jianna: It's the only thing that works for me. BF has done the "get up in the middle of the act and hunt for fresh batteries" thing before - if we want me to get off during sex (and we DO), then yeah, battery-operated appliance is the only way.

I'm happy that you can manage manually, but honestly, many of us cannot.
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tscheese
06/29/09

@jianna: Well, the hand doesn't work dandy for everyone. I could rub that thing all goddamn day and just wind up sore and impatient. For me, I tried just about everything, and the only reliable way is to have a vibrator. Not everyone NEEDS it, but I'd sure be unhappy without it, as well as countless other women who figured out how to give themselves orgasms reliably.
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uniyeti
06/29/09

In reply to “Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
From the NYT:

"Debby Herbenick, an author of the studies..."

She writes for Men's Health. How does some one work at the Kinsey institue and contribute to that dreck?
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rei m lira
06/29/09

@uniyeti: best I can come up with is: cash moves everything around us, get the money, dollar dollar bills ya'll.

Wu Tang logic.
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debbyherbenick
06/29/09

@rei m lira:

Since you asked... I think it's important to translate what we learn from science into information for everyone to read. Far more people learn about sex from magazines like Men's Health and web sites like Jezebel than they do from our research studies. Unless I'm wrong, most people don't read our scientific journal articles.
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rocknrollunicorn
06/29/09

In reply to “Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
Ok, so now's the time for them to make silent ones.

I think that may be physically impossible, but a girl can dream.
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whynotshesaid
06/29/09

In reply to “Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
Yo, I'm just glad that vibrators are now small and somewhat discreet. Those old-school vibrators that you had to pack up in a suitcase look like they would shock a bitch. Which I guess is cool if you are into that.
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Diziet_Sma
06/29/09

In reply to “Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
You know, I don't find vibrator Os to be that good. Quick? Yes. I must be weird.
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inabook
06/29/09

@Diziet_Sma: Vibrators are the only way I can get o's, but I still prefer o-less sex to a sexless o.
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18thfloor
06/29/09

@inabook: Me too. I've had a handful from sex, but I can have multiple with a vibe. However, I'd rather have sex. I can't make out with my vibrator. Well, at least I wouldn't want to. Ick.
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nellicat
06/29/09

@18thfloor: I don't get it, though - why not incorporate the vibrator into your sex play? That way you get both.
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18thfloor
06/29/09

@nellicat: I totally would, but my booty call guy, is all weirded out by vibrators.
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Diziet_Sma
06/29/09

@inabook: "I still prefer o-less sex to a sexless o" Ha. Yes. My advice? get a bit selfish with the sex; get your hand involved. The mens, they like it, you know!
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inabook
06/29/09

@nellicat: I do, sometimes, but it calls for more awkward angles and less spontaniety.

@Diziet_Sma: Ha, I do often get my hand invovled... but since I can't get myself off with my hand, it really doesn't make the sex more o-filled. And honestly, in some of my preferred positions, it would be a little tough for me to get my hand down there.
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nellicat
06/29/09

@18thfloor: @Diziet_Sma:

Okay, see, how many men would settle for o-less sex? Why aren't women as insistent on having an o as men? I never used to be, but in this relationship I decided "FTS - I'm having one every time" and so I do. BF loves it because, well, because he wants me to have one every time AND he gets to watch.
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Diziet_Sma
06/29/09

@nellicat: Yeah, I'm not big on O-less sex myself; it gets old pretty quick, which is why one has to take things into one's own hands sometimes. I think inabook meant she'd rather be with a human being, as opposed to a gadget (apologies if I'm misinterpretating.)
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
06/30/09

@jianna: Technically I don't NEED a television remote either (and neither do most men), but yeah, you'll see me hunting for batteries for an hour before I stand up and change the damn channel by hand, dammit.
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lalaland13
06/29/09

In reply to “Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
They should teach kids about these in abstinence-only classes. I'm looking at you, Texas.
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cocktail bun
06/29/09

@lalaland13: Agreed. I actually think any sex-ed class should cover masturbation techniques.
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lalaland13
06/29/09

@cocktail bun: Yeah, I agree with Jocelyn Elders (whose name I may be getting wrong) on that one. Can't believe she got fired for that.
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morninggloria
06/29/09

In reply to “Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
I don't have a vibrator, but I do like to put my phone on vibrate, set it in my lap, and then skip paying a few bills.

Surprise masturbation!
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Rare Affinity
06/29/09

In reply to “Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
What exactly is a toaster oven and how does it differ from a toaster?
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sequined
06/29/09

@Rare Affinity: When I didn't have an actual oven, I used my toaster oven for everything. More multi-purpose than a regular toaster.
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merv
06/29/09

In reply to “Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
Does this mean I'm have to buy a butt plugs if I want to keep sexually feisty and rebellious?
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
06/29/09

In reply to “Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
As commonplace as the Mr. Coffee and the toaster oven? Well, perhaps if "technique" classes were more common for teh menz, we could get back the counterspace and put in that new convection model.

I'm just sayin'...
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serreca
06/29/09

In reply to “Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.”
My birthday is Sunday and I'm ordering a Hitachi Magic Wand this week. And we do not have a toaster oven, I didn't think people still used those.
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merv
06/29/09

@serreca: My best friend used to go 'toy' shopping on a somewhat regular basis. But recently she bought 'the wand she swears she'll never buy another. So, yeah... GOOD STORY.
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rocknrollunicorn
06/29/09

@serreca: How else are you going to re-heat pizza properly?!
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Stephanie wishes to kill Tucker Max
06/29/09

@serreca: I promise I understand female anatomy fairly well but the hitachi wand confuses me. It looks like a microphone. Does it go all the way inside or do you just hold it against yourself? For some reason, I imagine that head spinning like a dremel tool, which is probably not what it does.
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debbyherbenick
06/29/09

@Stephanie wishes to kill Tucker Max:
Many women have questions about how to use products such as the Hitachi, so it's good that you asked. It isn't meant for internal use - just external use such as the clitoral area, the labia majora or minora (vaginal lips), breasts and/or the external anal area (or penis/scrotum). The Hitachi is very powerful and is plugged into a wall for power.

The Acuvibe (which is a newer product) is similar to the Hitachi but the models I've seen use battery power, so you don't have to be near an outlet (or have an extension cord) to use it.

There are tons of other toys available - I've reviewed some on my blog, others are in my book, and you can also learn about toys through stores like Babeland, Good Vibrations, Early to Bed, Tulip, g Boutique, or web sites such as MyPleasure.com. I think it's a good idea to learn about them, think about what type of stimulation you most enjoy (internal? external?), what power (multiple speeds are often good choices, especially if you are new to vibrators and not sure what you'll like) and how much you want to spend, among other issues. Have fun exploring!
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cand86
06/29/09

@Stephanie wishes to kill Tucker Max: The head just vibrates, doesn't spin or swivel, and it's for external use only (the head is so big to give diffuse vibration . . . I imagine it'd be almost too intense if it was focused). But if you want to use it internally, there is a G-spot attachment you can buy separately.
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
06/30/09

@serreca: Is it wrong that I really, really want one... for my back?
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debbyherbenick
06/30/09

@HeatherNumber1:

They certainly started out as back massagers!
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