<![CDATA[Jezebel: in the company of women]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jezebel.com.png <![CDATA[Jezebel: in the company of women]]> http://jezebel.com/tag/inthecompanyofwomen http://jezebel.com/tag/inthecompanyofwomen <![CDATA[This Year, Let's Call It Quits On The Nasty Nit-Picking]]> Maybe you don't notice, but, unlike the female-helmed celebrity rags, we take special care not to criticize the weight, wrinkles or cellulite of the women we feature. (Of course, their fashions, not to mention their actions, are fair game). Thing is, many of our readers don't notice this fact, or, more disturbingly, don't care, peppering many posts (particularly Snap Judgments) with their own offensive commentary about how women age, or gain weight. Some of it is in jest, some of it isn't, and some, well, it's just hard to tell. But one reader who wrote in last night, Erin, says it better than we ever could:

You know what would be great? A 'no negative comments on a woman's appearance' rule, or maybe even 'no negative comments regarding anyone's appearance". I am so sick of reading the comments and seeing "Oh she's put on weight' 'She's looking old', seeing a woman's appearance absolutely torn to pieces on /any /story accompanied by a photo, no matter what it is. It really puts me off wanting to read any comments at all, which is a great pity because there are also some great opinions by intelligent women amid these insults.
Apparently nothing a woman does can ever be more important than the way she looks, and even we woman have been brainwashed into thinking that to be valued and beautiful we must be young, thin, and covered in cosmetics. We get these messages all day every day, think how fantastic it would be if Jezebel was the one media outlet that said 'No, that's not right.'
You know what? Erin's right: This sort of shit is not okay, and we should say it more often. Remember Tina Fey's character in Mean Girls, dismayed by what she called girl-on-girl crime? It's hard enough being a woman in this world, why get swept along in the tidal wave of negativity and misogyny this culture drowns in? Even though we thought our opinion on the matter was implicit, maybe we need to be explicit. So here goes. For those readers who want to rip into other women's appearances, consider yourselves notified: We will happily and quickly call you out on your bullshit if you continue with the superficial shitty comments. For those who don't like this, well, we can think of some other sites that would be happy to indulge you.

Earlier: Nigella Lawson Feels Bad About Her Body

]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=339424&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Nigella Lawson Feels Bad About Her Body]]> Some people love food writer and TV host Nigella Lawson. She's bright, successful, forty-something, and loves food, unapologetically. But some people — who have been commenting on the BBC website — think the British star is a "porker" who sends the wrong message, reports The Times of London. "What sort of an example is she setting with her weight and her appetite for high-calorie sweets and cream?" one reader asks. Nigella tells Times writer Shane Watson: "Maybe I have put on weight, or maybe it's a bad camera angle. But in real life, this is normal size. Everyone is so critical. All must be sacrificed to the great god of skinny. You must say no to everything." Ms. Watson claims that the "god of skinny" has dethroned the "god of beauty." She writes, "Beauty without a slim body is now almost pointless."

Nigella has her own theories about why we live in a society that would target both herself and women like Beyoncé — who is gorgeous and talented, but was recently described as "erupting" out of her dress at an awards show. "I think it is a fear of flesh," says Nigella, "maybe of vulnerability and softness. I do think that women who spend all their lives on a diet probably have a miserable sex life: if your body is the enemy, how can you relax and take pleasure? Everything is about control, rather than relaxing, about holding everything in."

Plus, since Nigella's mother, sister and husband died of cancer, thinness is not something she aspires to. "I associate thinness with dying," she says. "When [my mother] had cancer, she said, 'This is the first time I have eaten without worrying,' and that is chilling."

The worst part? That women are doing this to other women. "In my experience, the weight thing is an almost totally female problem. I never feel bad about my weight around men, only women," claims Nigella. And, according to Watson, we're in a battle over our bodies:

The underlying issue is becoming clear. In the fat camp are those who represent the forces of goodness and womanliness, or indulgence and ill discipline, depending on where you stand on the scales; in the skinny camp are the savvy, fit, modern girls, or the life-deniers - if you're not so thin yourself. The size you are is a statement of your entire life philosophy, and the gulf between the two camps is filled with fear and misunderstanding. It is war, ladies, and it is our war. We are making enemies of each other on the basis of body shape.
How did we end up here? Why are women so critical of other women? Why is it not enough to be smart, talented, successful or even pretty anymore? Opines UK writer Vanessa Feltz, "Nobody ever says, 'Handsome is as handsome does, and so what if she's put on few pounds - she's still fascinating.'" How the hell did this happen, and what can we do about it?

The Big Issue [The Times]

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