If you live in Illinois, you better pray super hard that your condom never breaks — or that something even worse transpires — because a state appeals court recently upheld a ruling that exempted pharmacists with religious objections from prescribing emergency contraceptives. Let's hope your friendly local Walgreens…
On Saturday, Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn signed a law that will force strip clubs to pay an additional tax, which will in turn be used to fund programs aimed at preventing sexual assault as well as counseling sexual assault victims. The new tax is expected to haul in about $1 million a year for rape prevention programs,…
A couple in Gurnee, Illinois was arrested and charged with attempting to facilitate sex with a 13-year-old girl, which is completely messed up on its own. But the story becomes more of a symphony of WTF when you scroll on down past the article about the couple's arrest, into the comments, where everyone and their…
She may have academic credentials that match her Commander-in-Chief husband, the popular appeal of Madeleine Albright circa 1999, and the fashion chops of Carla Bruni, but Michelle Obama wants to make it clear that she's not interested in running for Senate in 2016. In other news, people are already starting to badger…
The gig's up, homos — Republicans in Illinois are on to your bullshit. They know that all these pinko attempts to strengthen anti-bullying rules are all just part of the gay agenda, an attempt to actually keep the Christian kids down by stripping them of their god-given right to inform all the sissies and limp-wrists…
All this time we ladies thought going to McDonald's and ordering a burger and downing it with some fries was really turning the guys on, which is obviously why we all went there in the first place. But it looks like we have been terribly mistaken. Our milkshakes might in fact be driving boys from the
yard
Playland—at…
Mitt Romney has been projected to win the Illinois primary tonight by an impressive margin. This was expected, but nevertheless, Romney's pride and joy circuits are probably blowing out as we speak. Of course, Santorum will continue his quixotic quest for the presidency undaunted. Why would he do such a thing—other…
At a pancake breakfast this morning in Moline, Illinois, Ann Romney took to the mic and addressed all of her sisters in robothood. (Sidenote: the Romneys just cannot get enough pancakes.) She started by saying she is "really upset" with Obama's policies, and then tried to get us to bond over our anger: "I love it that…
A program called SANE teaches Illinois nurses how to perform rape kits, and how to testify if they're called as a witness in a rape case. But very few of the state's nurses have gone through the program, because it takes so much time and hospital funds. And this lack of trained professionals is yet another hurdle…
It was adorable in Bridesmaids when the very charming Officer Nathan Rhodes met Kristin Wiig's character, Annie Walker, while pulling her over for a broken rear light. But things don't always turn out so nicely in real life, as one police officer in Stickney, Illinois, discovered the hard way.
Residents of the Land of Lincoln are undoubtedly aware of the unrelenting clusterfuck that is state and local governments. Usually the tangled web of patronage and ball-dropping results in rueful head shaking, or a shrug along with the line, "Well! That's Illinois!" But now, it seems that the headless vowel elongating…
Earlier this week, a jury of eleven women and one man convicted former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich on 17 of 20 charges related to corruption. So much for the theory that emotionally susceptible ladies would never convict him.
A male teenager has been charged with misdemeanor disorderly content for making a list ranking 50 female students, "using racial slurs and ratings of body parts."
Yesterday Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn signed legislation abolishing the death penalty in his state. Now the families of victims are angry — and Republicans vow to reinstate executions.
Good news: Civil unions — including for same-sex couples — could be performed in Illinois as early as next summer, having cleared both the state's House and Senate as of yesterday despite fierce Catholic lobbying against it.
Mary Jane Murphy—whose nickname is "Tiger"—plays doubles twice a week, and golfs when the Chicago weather permits. Her secret to everlasting youth? "There's no secret," she says. However,"don't take any pills." [Image Core Materials/via Flickr.]
Authorities in Evanston, Illinois will charge a 17-year-old student with misdemeanor criminal sexual abuse instead of a felony because the 14-year-old victim gave cops contradictory information. Apparently the sex was "not forced," as she originally claimed, but "partly consensual." Huh?
Students at an Illinois high school wore "Straight Pride" shirts to school Monday, with a Bible quote that recommended punishing homosexuality with death. The kids weren't disciplined — because the school says it was a "teachable moment."
Michelle Obama praised the President's policies after voting in Chicago, thereby violating Illinois' law against campaigning inside a polling place. Robert Gibbs commented, "I don't think it would be much to imagine, the First Lady might support her husband's agenda."
[Village of Mount Prospect, Illinois; May 26. Image via AP]
