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Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought

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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
02/11/09

In reply to Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought
Every man, in every home has rocked a child that's not his own.

That was an old saying my Nana had.

Sort of makes me wonder about her, though.

Little harlot.
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ScreamingFeemie
02/11/09

In reply to Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought
I work in a paternity lab, and I have to say...1 in 10 might just be accurate.
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parangaricutirimicuaro
02/11/09

@ScreamingFeemie: Well, I guess people who have paternity tests performed are those who are already suspicious (1 out of 10 kids in general?). So 1 out of 10 of them being "illegitimate" would be like 1 / 100 kids.

Right?

or "no, 1 out of 10 in general" ? :(
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Red-headed bookworm
02/12/09

@parangaricutirimicuaro: I don't know but...from seeing the support orders and talking to guys here, I know it does happen where they think the kid is their kid and then take care of it and pay support if they aren't married to the mom then one day, *poof*, it's not their biological kid. That can play havoc on them seeing the kid they helped raise and love.
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morninggloria
02/11/09

In reply to Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought
I know that I'm my fathers daughter due to Papa Morninggloria's high levels of awesomeness, attractiveness, and deep levels of humility. These are traits we both share.
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Liz11685
02/11/09

In reply to Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought
I find it hard to imagine that the number is that high. That would be like one in every kindergarten class.

I may be biased because I look so much more like my dad than my mom, this would have never worked in our house.
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disco2000
02/11/09

In reply to Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought
But, this makes for such a good plot twist on House!
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kikichanelconspiracy
02/11/09

@disco2000: I was so angered by the cleft chin subplot. "If one of my parents didn't have it, then one must not be my parent. I read it on the Internet." I have a cleft chin. Three of my cousins (the four of us are from three different sets of parents) all have cleft chins. Our moms (all sisters) aren't cheating whores, their dad was the one with the cleft chin. Suck it, House!

Also, am I the only one who didn't know the 'one-in-ten' statistic? I'm a statistician, I feel I should I know these random facts.
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disco2000
02/11/09

@kikichanelconspiracy: I think that you, as a statistician, are too busy concentrating on real statistics than sensationalized ones like these. I still haven't seen a specific source for this 1 in 10 stat.

Congrats to you for being a badass statistician! I took one class in college, didn't pay attention to any of it, and decided the professor may as well be speaking Russian. I decided to fulfill my graduation requirements with a full year of calculus instead - that's how much I hated stats.

House just loves being an asshole and claims everyone cheats on everyone. He's miserable, therefore no one can have a perfect life. Isn't cleft chin a Mendelian trait, therefore you only need one parent with the dominant gene? (Like your cousins). I don't remember exactly how it played out on that episode of House, but I do remember that House was incorrect about any adultery, because the parents admitted they adopted the kid. So, they weren't the miserable idiots he thought they were.
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sybann
02/11/09

In reply to Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought
LOVE the graphic. Want.
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Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.
02/11/09

In reply to Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought
My mom's been trying to (jokingly) convince me for years that I'm the milkman's daughter because I'm the only one of her 3 kids who has blonde hair and does not need glasses.
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YourScreenplaySucks
02/11/09

In reply to Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought
And I believe that original 1 in 10 figure came from a biased sample of people seeking out paternity tests.
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Jack_Burton
02/11/09

In reply to Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought
Strongbad: "No two bastards are not on fire."
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LaComtesse
02/11/09

@Jack_Burton: Oops! Clearly not meant for you. What I MEANT to say was "Awwwwwwwwwwwww!"

Seriously my favorite Strongbad Email ever...
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YourScreenplaySucks
02/11/09

In reply to Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought
So now it's 1 in 25? That means I'm even more unique than mommy always said I was!
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whats_in_a_name
02/11/09

In reply to Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought
Yes, because who a child's biological parents are is so much more important than if it's being raised by loving parent(s).

(sorry i spent all day listening to the guy a cube over from me talk about how real men will never love a baby unless it's biological theirs)
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Ailatan
02/11/09

@whats_in_a_name: what an insensitive arsehole!
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Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini
02/11/09

@whats_in_a_name: did you punch him in the face? I was made to see red with fury the other day during a conversation with a woman who said that she wouldn't adopt because you could never love a child that "wasn't special." And i'm like, bish, what's so special bout yo vag?

She said that in response to me saying I'm looking forward to adopting a huge family because my womb is broken.

Sensitivity FAIL.
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LaComtesse
02/11/09

@whats_in_a_name: I'll be sure to tell my father. The one I call dad, who has raised, nurtured, and supported me, but is not biologically related to me. This is will surely make him reevaluate his stance on my brother and me...
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Maritsa
02/11/09

@Beets.Go.On: @whats_in_a_name: Both of these people fail at humanity, especially that bitch who said that in response to you saying you're adopting. WTF people.

@amowls: I look just like my father too, have since the day I was born. It's freaky. And my son looks like him too (and is named after him).
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LaComtesse
02/11/09

@Beets.Go.On: Oh Christ. I would have said something to make her massively uncomfortable. Sorry she was such a bitch to you!
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Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!)
02/11/09

@whats_in_a_name: Wow. Please explain to him how "real men" aren't so insecure about their penises that they can only love things that come from it.

@Beets.Go.On: "who said that she wouldn't adopt because you could never love a child that "wasn't special.""

This raises all kinds of questions for me. If you can't love a CHILD, which are sort-of inherently lovable, that you didn't give birth do, how can you love a PARTNER, adults being much more difficult to love, who you just randomly picked up on the street? Since things that come out of other women's vags aren't special ...
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whats_in_a_name
02/11/09

@Beets.Go.On: Sadly no face punching, but the single mother (whose bf absolutely loves her little girl) who sits on the other side of him let him have it a couple times

@LaComtesse: Even though I don't know him, I highly doubt he would change his feeling in even the slightest way.
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Liz11685
02/11/09

@whats_in_a_name: Yikes! My dad has adopted twice, and loves us all(his two bio and two adopteds) the same. One was the child his first wife had in a previous relationship.
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Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini
02/11/09

@Eyebrows McGee: yeah that's exactly what I said to her and pretty much told her she was an awful human being who probably shouldn't be let around children anyway. ALL CHILDREN ARE SPECIAL.
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boxspelunker
02/11/09

@Beets.Go.On: Her vag is made of love and happiness, lined with unicorn sprinkles and fairy giggles.

I mean, if someone else gave birth to a child, it would come out all sparkling and glittery, pooping precious gems, would it? So insensitive.

...maybe she needs a good kick in the eye. It will readjust her vision to help her see.
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theysaidwhat
02/11/09

In reply to Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought
Teenagers everywhere, hoping against hope that they could possibly be related to these monstrous parents of theirs, are rather depressed by this study.
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sportz.star
02/11/09

In reply to Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought
Being cuckolded sounds fun. I heard 7/13 women enjoy it on a regular basis.
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J.D.Regent
02/11/09

@sportz.star: oh star, there is a whole movement for people like those 7/13!
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LaComtesse
02/11/09

In reply to Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought
"1 in 10 children are secretly illegitimate" sounds like a "statistic" dreamed up by some bitter divorcee who didn't want to pay child support. I don't know, call me naive, I just don't buy 1 in 10 OR 1 in 25...
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Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred)
02/12/09

@LaComtesse: My parents had been married over ten years when they had me - and I'm the spitting image of my dad. I know that's only one example, but i think the longer a couple stay together without children the more their marriage is about each other, not a "family", per se
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ChrisCroy
02/12/09

@LaComtesse: The 10% illegitimacy rate is an old statistic from before paternity testing. Here's how it came about: Blood types (A, B, O, etc) obey relatively simple inheritance rules. By testing the blood types of a population scientists were able to conclude that 10% was the minimum cuckold rate because that's the percentage of people that could not possibly have the bloodtype they had if their parents were who they thought they were.

It's possible the old research wasn't wrong, just that the cuckolding rate has gone down in the past 50 years thanks to the increased acceptability of divorce and birth control.
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Grim Reaper of the Forest
02/12/09

@ChrisCroy: That is what I think (not having read any of these studies). Better birth control probably means a lot less babies conceived during trysts with the milkman.
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Taren
02/11/09

In reply to Cheating Women Bearing Bastard Spawn Less Than Previously Thought
I don't think that's what illegitimate means though. If you take the name of the man your mother is married to (whether or not he knows you're not his) you're not illegitimate or if you're born into a marriage, period, regardless if the husband is your dad or not.
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ZLevee
02/12/09

@Taren: lets not get hung up on semantics when there's so much other shit to be confused about.
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