guys seem to forget how easy - and common - it is for them to bail on their offspring. why would a woman use a baby to trap you when you could just leave her a single parent?
from what i can tell there were about 6 million deadbeat dads circa 2005. #idiocy
I was just told that many of the guys this woman had dated, by age 30 had already had vasectomies, without ever having had children. The guys are afraid of being trapped into child support, and they never plan to have children.
But, I said, who would date such a person? Do they hide the fact? She said the guys do not appear to worry. They have unlimited confidence in how any woman would be willing to give up children to be with them, in their awesomeness. #idiocy
My friends boyfriend (now husband) did this to her when they were in their early 20's. He wanted to get married - she didn't but then, oops, she got knocked up and the wedding bells were on....years later (on a very drunken night) he copped to it. They were his condoms after all...
Poking holes in condoms...not only a crazy womens game. #idiocy
This is why we need male contraception like a male pill. That way, men can feel in control of the situation as well (and so they can't claim it was all the woman's fault or her responsibility solely to prevent it from happening.) #idiocy
@yvanehtnioj: But then they might not have as much fun as they would if they were irresponsible! Think of the pensises, yvanethnioj, think of the penises! #idiocy
@yvanehtnioj: Bullshit, "it's called a condom". A pill you take everyday, when the mood isn't happening. A pill doesn't smell odd, make your penis taste gross when you want a blow job or feel lackluster when want you really want is bare pussy.
Let's not pretend the condom is a miracle that all men will cherish. Tulsi just said that a male pill wouldn't have the man blaming the women. What did she do, hide his pills? Drink all his Gatorade?
@Kayleigh R. Carter: I have no idea what your second paragraph is supposed to mean, so I'll address the first. Proposing a pill as a way for men to "feel in control of the situation" and not have to blame women or put all the responsibility for contraception on women makes no sense. Because if a man wants to feel in control, he can put a condom on. There's no reason at all for women to be solely responsible for contraception now, so the argument that when there's finally a male pill then men will get the relief of taking responsibility makes. no. sense.
Take responsibility now, put on a gd condom. Condoms come in flavors, so does lube, if the smell/taste factors so strongly into your antipathy. As far as really wanting "bare pussy", stfu. If you think that women taking artificial hormones every single day doesn't affect their sex drives, appetites, and sensations you're an idiot. This is a compromise adults make when they're being responsible.
@yvanehtnioj: Alright, alright, I'll write a less angry response.
A man can easily put on a condom to take control of the situation, correct. But he has the right to a pill, and a right to have it manufactured and looked upon as a real solution. What would have happened if science had said, "Why should we make a birth control pill, we already invented condoms?"
When I said a man has a right to feel bare pussy, I meant it. Just like a woman has the right to the pleasure of feeling bare dick. My opinion stands: more sexually active kids would use contraception if if didn't hinder the experience. Many people DO start wearing condoms, but than as the relationship goes on, they are curious to feel what it would be like without, and then you have the problem when she forgets a pill, or isn't "responsible" enough to have them.
Is the girl smart enough, brave enough (some girls are too scared to be scene in a clinic, let alone talk to their mother's/father's/guardian) to get on the pill? As unwanted pregnancy rates will tell you...a male pill would be a nice option.
Maybe I'm sexist, but judging from the men in my life, they would gladly weather out any embarrassment or shame waiting in line for their birth control pills then to knock up someone they love, who isn't ready. If both the male and female were on the pills responsibly, it would really help everyone involved.
You can say they have flavored lubes and condoms, that's all well and good, but maybe I don't want to taste some fake syrupy strawberry dick, and that's just me.
Now, I'm not an idiot. I guess your a fan of neither option: male or female pills. You don't like the thought of chemicals and hormones messing up people's bodies and minds.
It's a good point, but if you want to boycott my pill option, I'm going to have to shut you down right here. On my pill, I don't have mood swings, I don't have a lack of sexual interest, I come like a mad woman and I eat like I ate before I was sexually active.
I will admit I've been on a pill that negatively affected me before. Part of being responsible is being responsible to yourself and understanding yourself enough to spot the differences.
Are young men and women, the ones just starting to understand sex and themselves, too young to decide what option is best for them? No, they have a right to new information and new technologies, and just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I'm not going to stands up for the rights of men. #idiocy
@Kayleigh R. Carter: I never said I was against a male pill. I'm strongly in favor of as many birth control options as possible. I'm against the idea that until there is a male pill men can't "feel in control" and can say it's "all the woman's fault or her responsibility solely to prevent [conception] from happening." The rest was all projection. Lots and lots of projection if you somehow got to the idea that I'm going to "boycott" your pill option.
@yvanehtnioj: "If you think that women taking artificial hormones every single day doesn't affect their sex drives, appetites, and sensations you're an idiot."
Oh sorry, I assumed this was your argument against pills, because if it wasn't, it was just some unneeded factoid bullshit where you imply that I'm an idiot if I "didn't know". I gave you the benefit of the doubt, really.
I agree that it's irresponsible for a man to blame a woman solely for incorrectly used birth control or lack thereof. I have a sneaking suspicion that these sort of arguments are more popular in the club scenes where no one knows anyone else, and everyone assumes everyone else knows they aren't looking for a baby, just one night stands.
So the majority of these people (narcissists) who aren't capable of building a relationship with anyone are making excuses as to why none of this could possibly be their fault, at all.
Men can certaintly feel in control with condoms, it's just that some men feel more control when they don't have to do shit. It's the "woman's worry". These men aren't men at all, they're sacks of shit.
@Kayleigh R. Carter: It wasn't "unneeded factoid bullshit", it was a response to the idea that men's sensory need of feeling "bare pussy" somehow trumps their responsibility to birth control. Women's sensory responses to sex are also altered by bc, so any man making the "it doesn't feel as good" argument should just get over it. I'm pretty much done here; you just keep raging at me for no apparent reason and I'm running out of benefit of the doubt. #idiocy
You know, I've been slowly warming up to the idea of having a kid one day (I'm 33 ha ha ha), but this article just puts me right back at 23 years old. NOPE! NOT GONNA BIRTH, YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!!!!@#! #idiocy
Mr Dorilys just looked over and asked me what the article was about. He went on a rant including "do people think men are stupid? we can't figure out condoms? If you don't want kids, put a f**king condom on your dick!" #idiocy
The last sentence is what I always say to guys who complain about a) being on the hook for child support or b) not having a say in whether a woman gets an abortion. Seriously dudes, just wrap your junk up and save us all the trouble. #idiocy
I have a niece thanks to an "accident," and that accident was due to my brother's wonderful girlfriend faithfully taking a pill that didn't work. Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo? More like Ortho Tri-Cyclen No. #idiocy I should add that my niece is fantastic, and my brother didn't accuse his girlfriend of any baby-grubbing.
@Dorilys: I'm sure it's just that it's not right for some people. Weirdly, one of her cousins also got pregnant while on the same pill. So yeah, no antibiotics or anything; she's just really fertile. I just think it's a good example of how even being a perfect user of b.c. isn't enough. Sometimes you wind up in that 1%. Sorry if I freaked you out! #idiocy
"A guy who claims he was tricked into impregnating his girlfriend"
Did he come inside her? Does he know how reproduction works? ... Then he wasn't tricked. While we all know fucked up people who deceive and manipulate other people in all sorts of fucked up ways, if you're not willing to have a child wear a condom. Or will any woman who accidentally gets pregnant on birth control and isn't willing to have an abortion now need to spend the rest of her life being accused of "tricking" some poor innocent man into a child? #idiocy
... I know I'll regret saying this, but I don't understand why I'm supposed to be upset about the idea that women would do this. If I accept that women are the only people who can decide when they get pregnant and whether they stay pregnant, I accept that some of them are going to get pregnant - accidentally or on purpose* - whether or not the sperm donor wants anything to do with it. The fact that men's only yes or no to a pregnancy is carrying their own condoms is an argument for the male pill, not an argument for better social control of women.
(*There is a huge margin between PLOTTING PLOTTING PLOTTING and just being kinda lazy about your pill until you get knocked up because you may as well have a baby. I doubt anyone's plotting. I think plenty of women are kind of lazy because it's not worth being hypervigilant when they're the one who wants a baby. Of course, one of the nice things about an IUD is that I will never get knocked up on a whim.) #idiocy
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@purpleshoes reminds everyone to take typing breaks and stretch, ow: It can't just be one person not being hypervigilant. I know couples who aren't trying to conceive, but aren't *not* trying to conceive, if you catch my drift. That's a different story. But if one or both of them definitely doesn't want a kid, they've got to use condoms, hormonal BC or both. Man or woman. #idiocy
I alerted my brother that Details is concerned about their male readers getting tricked into secret babymaking, and he thoughtfully responded: "They shouldn't be - Details has the highest gay readership of any men's magazine."
What amazes me are the people in my life that "joke" about me poking holes in condoms since I'm ready for a baby and my husband isn't. I've heard this joke from everyone from my Grandmother to my friends who are younger. My mother, on the other hand, doesn't even pretend to joke about it - she really wants me to.
Cause getting pregnant through deception... that's the key to having a successful family! #idiocy
That's what you get for thinking birth control is is the woman's responsibility. "She said she was on the pill" is no excuse. Bring. Your. Own. Condoms. #idiocy
@Adah: A long-term relationship where you don't want kids and, having discussed what you'd do in case of an accident, know your partner wouldn't haul ass to the schmachmortion clinic? Yes. Condoms. Always. #idiocy
@sarasasa: The only flaw in that logic is that sometimes the two people are living together. So these supposed rubber saboteurs would have access to them. Not that I believe there are very many woman who would actually do that. #idiocy
@Adah: If you know the other person would like to have a child, it's lazy and down right stupid and irresponsible to put all the pressure of birth control on her. If she's scheming and deceitful and lies about wanting to get pregnant, you're probably dealing with a manipulative crazy person. They are rather easy to spot, just ask your friends. Friends see through bullshit in a way a lot of people in love never can. #idiocy
@Adah: That's what I was thinking. Sadie's analysis is good, but "use a condom" as advice for thwarting the menace of baby tricksters is kind of weird. Some of us in long-term relationships *really* like the part where you don't need to use the damn things. Switching back to condoms, JUST IN CASE your partner sabotages your other, much more reliable birth control method, isn't a very appealing option. Also, it's weird. If you're that mistrustful of your partner, you'd be better off breaking up with them. #idiocy
@Adah: If you are really that adamant about not having a baby, then yes, wrap it up. Yes, I know it sucks, but your lady is more likely than not pumping herself full of hormones for that same purpose. Even diminished sensation is better than the shit we women go through on hormonal birth control. It's the very least you could do.
@token_illiterate_commenter: I have a condom packet right here and I just poked a straight pin through it. I can see the hole in the wrapper dim light and my vision sucks. A male birth control pill would be good though. I hear one's in the works. #idiocy
@snobographer: I was going to do the same thing myself, as an experiment! Can you imagine getting caught doing it? 'No, honey, it was just a test. I was doing it for the internet!' #idiocy
I actually know 2 women who got pregnant intentionally against their s.o.'s wishes (one was married, one not), thinking that it would cement the relationship and influence the man to stay with her. Guess what? Both men ended the relationships, and I honestly couldn't blame them. Things like this give women a bad name. If your relationship is shaky, deceiving someone into becoming a parent will not make them love you more; it will drive them away. And now, there's a child who you created out of your deception and insecurity, who you have to raise by yourself. Brilliant. #idiocy
10/23/09
from what i can tell there were about 6 million deadbeat dads circa 2005. #idiocy
10/23/09
But, I said, who would date such a person? Do they hide the fact? She said the guys do not appear to worry. They have unlimited confidence in how any woman would be willing to give up children to be with them, in their awesomeness. #idiocy
10/24/09
The vast majority of doctors do not want to sterilize childless young people. #idiocy
10/23/09
Poking holes in condoms...not only a crazy womens game. #idiocy
10/23/09
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Let's not pretend the condom is a miracle that all men will cherish. Tulsi just said that a male pill wouldn't have the man blaming the women. What did she do, hide his pills? Drink all his Gatorade?
Please. #idiocy
10/25/09
Take responsibility now, put on a gd condom. Condoms come in flavors, so does lube, if the smell/taste factors so strongly into your antipathy. As far as really wanting "bare pussy", stfu. If you think that women taking artificial hormones every single day doesn't affect their sex drives, appetites, and sensations you're an idiot. This is a compromise adults make when they're being responsible.
You're welcome. #idiocy
10/28/09
A man can easily put on a condom to take control of the situation, correct. But he has the right to a pill, and a right to have it manufactured and looked upon as a real solution. What would have happened if science had said, "Why should we make a birth control pill, we already invented condoms?"
When I said a man has a right to feel bare pussy, I meant it. Just like a woman has the right to the pleasure of feeling bare dick. My opinion stands: more sexually active kids would use contraception if if didn't hinder the experience. Many people DO start wearing condoms, but than as the relationship goes on, they are curious to feel what it would be like without, and then you have the problem when she forgets a pill, or isn't "responsible" enough to have them.
Is the girl smart enough, brave enough (some girls are too scared to be scene in a clinic, let alone talk to their mother's/father's/guardian) to get on the pill? As unwanted pregnancy rates will tell you...a male pill would be a nice option.
Maybe I'm sexist, but judging from the men in my life, they would gladly weather out any embarrassment or shame waiting in line for their birth control pills then to knock up someone they love, who isn't ready. If both the male and female were on the pills responsibly, it would really help everyone involved.
You can say they have flavored lubes and condoms, that's all well and good, but maybe I don't want to taste some fake syrupy strawberry dick, and that's just me.
Now, I'm not an idiot. I guess your a fan of neither option: male or female pills. You don't like the thought of chemicals and hormones messing up people's bodies and minds.
It's a good point, but if you want to boycott my pill option, I'm going to have to shut you down right here. On my pill, I don't have mood swings, I don't have a lack of sexual interest, I come like a mad woman and I eat like I ate before I was sexually active.
I will admit I've been on a pill that negatively affected me before. Part of being responsible is being responsible to yourself and understanding yourself enough to spot the differences.
Are young men and women, the ones just starting to understand sex and themselves, too young to decide what option is best for them? No, they have a right to new information and new technologies, and just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I'm not going to stands up for the rights of men. #idiocy
10/28/09
10/28/09
Oh sorry, I assumed this was your argument against pills, because if it wasn't, it was just some unneeded factoid bullshit where you imply that I'm an idiot if I "didn't know". I gave you the benefit of the doubt, really.
I agree that it's irresponsible for a man to blame a woman solely for incorrectly used birth control or lack thereof. I have a sneaking suspicion that these sort of arguments are more popular in the club scenes where no one knows anyone else, and everyone assumes everyone else knows they aren't looking for a baby, just one night stands.
So the majority of these people (narcissists) who aren't capable of building a relationship with anyone are making excuses as to why none of this could possibly be their fault, at all.
Men can certaintly feel in control with condoms, it's just that some men feel more control when they don't have to do shit. It's the "woman's worry". These men aren't men at all, they're sacks of shit.
We can finally agree. #idiocy
10/29/09
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Did he come inside her? Does he know how reproduction works? ... Then he wasn't tricked. While we all know fucked up people who deceive and manipulate other people in all sorts of fucked up ways, if you're not willing to have a child wear a condom. Or will any woman who accidentally gets pregnant on birth control and isn't willing to have an abortion now need to spend the rest of her life being accused of "tricking" some poor innocent man into a child? #idiocy
10/23/09
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10/23/09
(*There is a huge margin between PLOTTING PLOTTING PLOTTING and just being kinda lazy about your pill until you get knocked up because you may as well have a baby. I doubt anyone's plotting. I think plenty of women are kind of lazy because it's not worth being hypervigilant when they're the one who wants a baby. Of course, one of the nice things about an IUD is that I will never get knocked up on a whim.) #idiocy
10/23/09
10/23/09
He might have a point. #idiocy
10/23/09
Cause getting pregnant through deception... that's the key to having a successful family! #idiocy
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