Ice Cream - Jezebel

posts about #icecream more →
Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
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Change We Can Believe In
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I Scream, You Scream
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Remember When Mariah Carey Went Crazy?
Ellen Barkin Holds Head High, Pretends She Doesn't See That Sign For Ice Cream

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MargotDawk
09/13/09

In reply to Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
I'm sry, I'm a chick and I thought it was HILARIOUS!! I even shared it on FaceBook!!
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HeatherNumber1 promoted this comment MargotDawk was starred MargotDawk was unstarred

Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
09/13/09

@MargotDawk: It's tough when you're a marketer hired to cover your company's ass online. How to choose a screen name that's just odd enough to be believable so you can pretend to be regular folk randomly spreading love?
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Sanfo promoted this comment Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! was starred

Kayleigh Loves To Dance
09/13/09

@HeatherNumber1: I love the way Jezzies can see through the crap!
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Sanfo promoted this comment

Sanfo
09/14/09

@Kayleigh Loves To Dance: This just makes me HAPPY.
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La Chica Lucy
09/13/09

In reply to Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
Hortense,
You rule simply for getting through this fuckery and making me laugh when I should be crying.
I love you,
Lucy
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Kristinkles Ingabogovinanana
09/13/09

In reply to Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
I actually wrote to them over this one. I have never written in about a product before (other than the time I contacted Cape Cod potato chips to find out what happened to their sour cream and chive variety), but I was mad enough to do so this evening. Bite me Klondike, because I will never bite into another of your products again. The fact that you use low quality chocolate helps. PEACE!
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Crackers In Bed promoted this comment

I believe in peace, bitch
09/13/09

In reply to Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
I don't think even Don Draper could sell this one.
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hortense promoted this comment

Marsgaret
09/13/09

In reply to Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
Klondike is owned by the mega-corp Uniliver. Please contact them here: [www.unileverusa.com] and tell you how you feel about this. There is another contact # exclusively for press. I hope somebody at Jezebel will call and take them to task.
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La Chica Lucy promoted this comment Marsgaret was starred Marsgaret was unstarred

Jack_Burton
09/13/09

In reply to Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
Klondike: WTF was that? What does it have to do with delicious ice cream?

I'm going to stick to choc chip cookie ice-cream-sandwiches and ChocoTacos, y'all Klondike-tards.

Pudding Fun Facts: I know some women that wrestle in pudding. Most of them are roller-derby girls, and pretty tough. Not to be trifled with (they wrestle only each-other, but afterward, go through the bar awarding messy pudding-hugs to unsuspecting males). Usually, they do it for fund-raising campaigns for mutual friends who have suffered some sort of misfortune (cancer, house fire, car accident, etc.). Finally, pudding smells REALLY bad when it has been fermenting in puddle in a bar parking lot for several hot days after a bout.

Cook and chill...
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Crackers In Bed
09/13/09

In reply to Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
i feel like this was originally created for something else (like Rolling Rock or Axe) it wasn't used, and instead of scrapping it they shoehorned it into the Klondike site.
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LipstickLibrarian
09/13/09

In reply to Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
"Steaming pit full of pudding?"
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LipstickLibrarian was starred

Crackers In Bed
09/13/09

@LipstickLibrarian: perhaps the creator has a latent scat fetish?
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lola_in_the_dark
09/13/09

In reply to Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
You know, as an advertising student we were always given assignments where we had to focus on the "strategy" or message of the company. For example our teacher would make us come up with an ad that focused on the freshness of a brand of orangeness. So if our ad talked about the low price of it or something he would yell "You're off strategy!"

With that in mind, I have to wonder what the hell the strategy of this campaign is.
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Crackers In Bed [aka SF via AL] promoted this comment lola_in_the_dark was starred lola_in_the_dark was unstarred

Crackers In Bed
09/13/09

@lola_in_the_dark: i used to be an advertising creative, and i can't even fathom the brief that was behind this one. as i mentioned above, i feel like it was created for something else, then dusted off and sold to Klondike when the original client rejected it.
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lola_in_the_dark
09/13/09

@Crackers In Bed: Seriously, it is just so off! Sometimes that works (one of my favourite ads is for Mentos and it features a sheep riding a lawnmower. wtf?) but here it just does not work! Even if it wasn't for ice cream it is so terribly misogynistic! I would expect this for beer not ice cream.

Omg, just realized I wrote orangeness instead of orange juice!!
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Sandicomm
09/13/09

In reply to Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
Hey, Pete Pounder, do you know what I hate with the passion of a thousand suns? Your misogyny! Fuck you!
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Sandicomm
09/13/09

@Sandicomm: Actually, the really galling thing about this is that no one will play the game--too wordy, nonsensical, not funny, and who plays this stuff other than 12 year olds?--but SOMEONE thought that this would be funny and, despite the fact that this thing probably went through about ten different desks before it even got made, NO ONE thought to say, "Uh, maybe this is is a bad idea. On multiple levels." Disgusting.
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greengrey promoted this comment Sandicomm was starred Sandicomm was unstarred

CuriousSue
09/13/09

In reply to Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
wait, is this an ad? i'm so confused.
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hellosunshine promoted this comment CuriousSue was starred CuriousSue was unstarred

hellosunshine
09/13/09

@CuriousSue: I'm seriously just sitting here with big eyes going "HUH?!"
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Sanfo
09/13/09

In reply to Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
Turns out Klondike is owned by Unilever, which is why they are following the same techniques in their advertising for Klondike bars and Axe "deodorant". Watch for the spiritual twin to this game, where we play as Crissy, who just wants to wash her hair with Dove, another Unilever product.
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greengrey
09/13/09

@Sanfo: I've always found it funny that the "real beauty" company is owned by the same schmucks as axe.
I avoid unilever like it's the plague.
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LuvEwan
09/13/09

In reply to Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
I've never eaten a Klondike bar in my life. But I guess that's because they're only for men?
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The Day of Contentious Conviviality
09/13/09

In reply to Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
Ok, so clearly Klondike has decided that women never eat or buy their product, so they can afford to alienate the entire gender with their horrible, offensive marketing. Ad exec FAIL.
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greengrey promoted this comment

greengrey
09/13/09

@The Day of Contentious Conviviality: Women? Buying ICE CREAM!?
You're joking. Most women HATE ice cream!
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Raederle
09/13/09

@greengrey: Women prefer to get their lactose via poop-inducing yogurt, their sugar via orgasmic chocolate, and their ice via vampire sexytimes.
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vulcanized
09/13/09

@greengrey: No, they don't! They eat whole pints of it while sobbing to Celine Dion after their boyfriends break up with them. And when they're on their periods! Bitches be lovin' ice cream.
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Raederle
09/13/09

In reply to Let's Take A Completely Insane Journey Inside The Klondike Man Cave
This has given me a great idea of what marriage is all about.

Coming home from my high-powered magazine editor job, I find my husband mowing the lawn and the pool boy cleaning out the pool. Rather than help, I'll get into the hot tub that I paid for, only to find the pool boy is already there. Husband continues to bitch about yardwork, but it's time to drop pool boy back off at his frat house.

Good thing I've received a text from my girlfriends inviting me to a firefighters' striptease bachelorette party, only BRING A GAG GIFT AND ALSO A STUDMUFFIN OMG. Pool boy and I stop in a sex shop, where I try to make him as uncomfortable as possible. At the party, I win the striptease contest even though it was for firefighters, because I am just that awesome.

Husband texts me that he's just gotten out of the shower and is finally willing to do that one thing he's never wanted to do before. When I get home he's lounging in front of the fire in silk pajamas seductively eating a Klondike bar. Yum!
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RisaPlata
09/13/09

@Raederle: WHERE DID YOU GET MY DIARY?!?!?
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