When Charlie did wear clothes, and I use the term loosely, it was usually a "day nightie" - a large tee shirt of my dad's. If one can find a clothed picture of him from this era, it will find him in one of these jersey muumuus, which I think he favored because they were easy to whip off. We all remember the famous occasion when he came home from nursery school, ripped off his clothes and went for a euphoric run in the snow of the front yard, with my mother in hot pursuit. (I also remember an early act, also involving me and a cousin, known as "The Three Naked Kids" -I think it mostly featured jumping between twin beds- but that's another story.)

This sort of devotion to nudism is not uncommon in young children; most experts say it's a phase that they soon outgrow. And, as a piece in the Times shows, plenty of laid-back parents are cool with it. Others, as we know only too well from our forays into the land of "I Saw Your Nanny," find it shocking and potentially dangerous. As the article puts it,

For many parents, allowing a child to run around naked at home is perfectly natural, an expression of physical freedom that represents the essence of childhood, especially in the summer. But for others, unclad bodies are an affront to civility, a source of discomfort and a potentially dangerous attraction for pedophiles. These clashing sensibilities can create conflict, even when the nudity in question takes place at home.

Of course, some parents are worried about naked kids relieving themselves with equal freedom. Sometimes it's cultural; it seems European parents are less bothered, in general, by childhood nudity. Many cite generational conflicts; less permissive grandparents find the public nudity inappropriate. Other adults feel it's okay - up to a certain age. But what is "too old?" When should a child start feeling some native modesty? Should kids of different sexes stop mixing at some point? When does it become inappropriate for his siblings to see him naked - and why? Some parents worry about public masturbation, something they feel needs to be kept strictly private. One child psychologist in the article says the bulk of a child's attitude, as in so many things, will come directly from the parents, saying, "If someone has what appears to be an overly strong reaction to seeing young children running around naked, it tells us about their own hang-ups, their own inner conflicts."

Of course, the issue is more complicated than that. There's a distinct difference between those adults who are shocked by the mere notion of unfettered nudity and those who are shocked by it when it involves a host's child running amok amongst guests, nude. A lot of parents in the article don't make this distinction, and let their kids run naked amongst friends, guests, other kids whose parents don't share the same views. While I, as a guest, wouldn't personally care - and think people can do what they like in their own homes - it's also true there's a fine line between letting a child express his freedom and feel no Genesis-style shame in nudity, and letting him think he makes the rules.

It's so hard: I remember once hearing someone on the radio say something I found thought-provoking: that in our obsession with the risks of pedophilia, we can no longer look at the total innocence of childhood nudity and not see potential prey. As such, we're unwittingly sexualizing children, too. But at the same time, knowing what we do, we can't ignore it. I can't imagine there are more predators out there than in prior eras, despite our increased acknowledgment of it, but as in so many aspects of parenting, the balance between mindfulness and neurosis is tricky. At the end of the day, if a kid wants to be naked, he will: and doesn't it make it a bigger thing to stigmatize it? After all, it's not the kid's nudity that's "causing" sick people's pedophilia, and it seems to me important that a child not get that confused. The 25-year-old hipster my brother is to day, after all, might regard his halcyon days of nudity with embarrassment - but only because he's an adult.

When Do They Need A Fig Leaf? [NY Times]
Related: I Saw A Crazy: 'Nanny' Policing Goes Off Rails

What: A distasteful nanny with a penchant for sunflower seeds and male porn.

Where: Levin Playground in Central Park

When: Today, (Wednesday, October 1, 2008) at about 10:30 AM

Who: A woman of about 30 years of age with dishwasher blonde hair, frumpy, wearing a plaid man's shirt over a blue t-shirt. She removed the plaid shirt, revealing the t-shirt for some part of her time, including a time when she meandered over to the children to check on them and she was bra less; and if ever I have seen a woman more in need of a bra, then it would have to have been when my 83 year old demented, mother-in-law once appeared in my kitchen stark naked, but I digress. This woman was oddly proportioned to say the least. Her legs were rather slim, but her mid section was rather large and her chest was gigantic. So gigantic, that she became a spectacle as she jostled (picture water balloons bustling about under cheap cotton). The woman was shameless. She returned to her seated position to carry on a conversation with a woman of the approximate same age. The other woman had a distinct, Polish accent. The woman with the mammoth chest was wearing Lee blue jeans and tennis shoes with a graffiti design. After being drawn to stare at the woman after watching her walk shamelessly across the playground, I honed on her activities to try and figure out her story. It was pretty evident that she was a nanny. She had a stack of magazines that included a large word search puzzle, an O magazine and some sort of Male men's magazine. I am not sure of the title but I have the distinct impression it was a pornographic magazine intended for homosexual men. I thought it in poor form for her and her friend to giggle and fawn over the pictures during broad daylight on a children's playground. I can't say she was especially a bad nanny. She did check on the children and knew where they were the whole time. On a side note, the entire time she was there, she ate sunflower seeds. It was a pretty disgusting spectacle. She was using a pepsi can as a make shift spittoon.

Levin Playground In Central Park NYC [I Saw Your Nanny]

And in case you felt compelled to write in anonymously to a website to report some possible neglect: none of the nannies pictured is engaged in texting, yelling or inattention — capital crimes in the ISYN universe.

I Saw Your Nanny [Official Site]

Earlier: ISYN Update: Bad Perm And Stroller In Street Spark Frenzy!
I Saw A Crazy: Nanny Policing Goes Off The Rails

"nanny sighting logo About 11:45 A.M. on Monday 8/11/08 Gladwyne, PA. I saw an overweight caucasian female with blond hair and a bad, frizzy perm pushing a dark bluish stroller down Conshohocken State Road towards the Post Office. She was wearing an indescript dark green t-shirt, jeans and white sneakers.

This road is only one lane each way - with no sidewalks. She was pushing the baby going the same way as traffic. Cars and trucks (it's a major thoroughfare) were whipping around them.

I was sick when I saw this. It may as well have been a freeway. It is an extremely dangerous road. There have been many accidents and deaths on it, and it is very twisty as well.The baby had light brownish/blondish hair and looked not more than about a year old. She had on a pink foral shirt, denim clamdigger looking shorts, and soft leather pink shoes. They went into the post office where the woman spent quite alot of time. Baby was very antsy and unhappy. The woman thrust a piece of paper at the baby (in a very exasperated way) to try to distract her. Not even a toy, but a post office pamphlet or something to that effect. As a mother I would never expect for someone to put my child in such a dangerous situation as this. I am assuming this was a nanny as this particular location is extremely wealthy, and she did not have the appearance of a resident."

Comment Digest:

"This post bothered me. Not because of the person pushing the stroller. But the description of this individual. And to automatically asssume it was a nanny because of her appearance. That seems a little stuck up to me. Maybe, shes a struggling mother, who doesn't have a car at her disposal. And she can't help it if theres no sidewalk. Maybe, instead of writing on here, you can call the town up, and mention that you see people walking on the side of this dangerous road. And suggest they put in a sidewalk. Thanks"

And:

"Appearance of resident= stuck up, sexually frustrated, miserable human being. And FYI, darling, while Gladwyne is certainly no ghetto, it is not nearly as nice or 'wealthy' as you think it is."

And:

"when we see people puttiing children in harm's way or neglecting them, we usually see them in the ugliest of lights. that's the truth. deal with it."

And:

"I'm sorry but the author of this post sounds like a stuck up snob. "a bad, frizzy perm" ...well what if she liked her perm that way?! and overweight? I'm sorry that not everyone has the perfect body, and I'm sorry...some overweight frizzy haired people can be wealthy, or maybe she had to walk farther then that "wealthy" neighborhood because maybe that was her own kid and she HAD to walk and didn't really have a choice whether or not she had to be on the road.people driving need to look out for pedestrians no matter what, no matter how curvy the road may be."

I Saw Your Nanny

Earlier: I Saw A Crazy: Nanny Policing Goes Off The Rails

Then the comments begin. I have done the dirty work and waded through hundreds of comments to bring you the annotated "Best Of." (That said, if you have a few free hours, read the whole exchange. You won't be sorry.)]

Angry Mom: If there is not a crackdown there needs to be. I am so tired of going to the beach, the playground or wherever and seeing people who have their children swimming and playing nude. Aside from pedophiles, what are you teaching your children about respecting their bodies??

Defiant Mom: I get the whole pedophile angle and keeping your kid dressed but respecting your body? What sort of uptight repressed Victorian crap i
s that?

Angry Mom: Sorry, I don't think that teaching children to respect their bodies by keeping their privates PRIVATE is uptight at all. Sure, my kids enjoy a naked romp IN the house now and again, and I walk around topless IN the house regularly. But, when in public I feel they should be covered. A child under maybe 2 years old could be changed outside, no problem, but any older needs to use a restroom with privacy.

Random Mom: Seriously?

What is wrong with you people? I am in the NYC area and I have not heard of a crackdown. True, nanny could be sparing a not so bright mama's feeling, but also it could be that nanny was lazy. Changing a child's cloths requires effort. The most effort I have seen a nanny display was wrangling the wrapper of a Mr. Goodbar in the 95 degree heat. She used her car keys, teeth and eventually, just her tongue. Oh I wish I had that photo!

Crazy Mom: No one wants to see their vagina's and penises hanging out.

Self-righteous Mom: To mom who is so grossed out by the penis or vagina of a 2 year old? Get your mind out of the slimy filthy gutter.

Wry Mom:

THE SKY IS FALLING

THE SKY IS FALLING

THERE ARE PEDOPHILES WITH HIGH POWERED LENSES AND ERECT PENISES!

They are children. People have been having them for eons.

Get over yourselves.

Batshit Crazy Mom:Undercover regular..you ares oooo wrong..I have watched you and so many of your "Liberal,regular,fellow posters" for years now and I have got to tthank you all for getting us where we are today.

You all jump down my throat every time I post..I never see things the way you do and let me just tell you..we do have a choice..but thanks to %&44##@@ voters like yourselves..instead of taking care of things and keeping our families safe..you all do your liberal magic and these damn pedophile's..discusting shits that they are get out after rehabillitation..and over 60% of them violte again!!

How do you vote MMP, mom, Cali Mom, UNdercover regular, manhattan mama,sprak??

Tha bastards,if found guilty beyond a doubt should be hung..and then perhaps we would be able to take our children to the park, school or beach without worrying so much!!

Your posts anger me to NO end..you are all the same PC jerks who have caused this problem!!

And don't for one second try to play it off like you beleive in the death penalty ..you are the ones who vote to set these freaks free!!

Your posts over the last few years give you away!!

you are all anti spanking anti death penalty, pro ilegal alien, pro positive reinforcement PC dummies who have made our sick worl what is is today!!!

Kill the pedophiles and rapists,
close the borders
spank your child and get this country back in order!!

or stop bitching ..afterall you are the ones allowing them on the very streets your children play on!

…and I'm out.

Nudity Crackdown [I Saw Your Nanny]