<![CDATA[Jezebel: i know my kid's a star]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jezebel.com.png <![CDATA[Jezebel: i know my kid's a star]]> http://jezebel.com/tag/iknowmykidsastar http://jezebel.com/tag/iknowmykidsastar <![CDATA[20 Best Reality TV Show Moments Of 2008]]> From ANTM's menstrual cramps, to Bobby Brown's farts, to drunk women urinating on couches, we bring you the 20 Best (meaning, sometimes horrifying) Reality TV Show Moments of 2008.



20.) Bobby Brown Farts On Carnie Wilson, Pees On Dee Snider
Bobby Brown took a half-hearted stab at earning a pay check and having a country music career via the reality show Gone Country, in which he lived with other out-of-work celebs down South and competed for a record contract. In this clip, he gets drunk, eats ribs, farts and pees.


19.) Teen Bathes, Then Bonds With Senior Citizen
Baby Borrowers was a social experiment in the form of a reality show that was supposed to teach teenagers how hard it is to raise a family and run a household. For some reason, one of the episodes called for the teens to care for senior citizens, maybe to scare them off of the burden of dealing with elderly parents later on down the road. In this clip, a teen has to bathe her senior ward, and then they have a touching conversation about the generational differences of filing nails square or rounded.


18.) Meet The Two Most Effective Forms Of Birth Control
Some episodes of Supernanny are scarier than horror movies. In this clip, two little terrors defiantly pick their noses and wipe the boogers on a wall, physically abuse their mother and say terrifying things like, "I have a dick and a weenie in my weenie," and "I'm gonna fuck you in your privates one day!"


17.) Vagina Insults Are The New "Ya Momma"
MTV's That's Amore — the spin-off of Shot at Love with Tila Tequila — featured women who incessantly talked about other women's vaginas.


16.) American Idol Contestant Who Looks Like Willem Dafoe With Face Glitter
Alexis Cohen was one of those "bad" auditions featured during the open-call leg of American Idol. They're always easy targets, but her working knowledge of the English language and her literal glittery attempt at polishing a turd made her the best of the worst.


15.) Stage Mom Has Violent, Psychotic Outburst
Rocky, stage mother to Haley, from VH1's I Know My Kid's a star first won our hearts when she asked her daughter if her tampon string was visibly hanging below her miniskirt. This freak out sealed the deal.


14.) Woman With A Half Wig Cries About It
Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta attracted attention and confusion over her hair — an obvious wig that did not match the color of the natural bangs in the front. Her attempt at clearing the matter up (she had cancer!) only confused everyone more (wait, she only thought she had cancer!).


13.) Pussylicious
The reality show in which women compete for a spot (that's actually never given to them) in the the Pussycat Dolls lineup was called Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious, which obviously needed to be shortened to "pussylicious." Especially after one girl's introduction included her saying, "I'm Cassandra. I'm from Aurora, Illinois, I live in Chicago now, and I have a tattoo of cherries on my hoo-ha." Later, another girl gets injured and is forced to dance in her wheelchair.


12.) Women Past Their Prime Audition For Modeling Competition
She's Got the Look was supposed to be America's Next Top Model for the over-35 set. In this clip its obvious that there were reasons beyond their age that have kept these women from working the runway.


11.) Corey Haim Doesn't Understand Why Everyone He Knows Wants Him To Go To Rehab
It's always ridiculous/sad when addicts who can't fully open their eyes or articulate words think that they are fooling everyone. It's double ridiculous when it's someone like Corey Haim who has had a long public history of drug addiction.


10.) Is This Lady's Husband Gay?
Alex and her husband Simon were the breakout stars of Real Housewives of New York. They were attached at the hip, obsessed with teaching their uncooperative children French, and dropped $20k on opera tickets even though their Brooklyn brownstone was literally falling apart. But the question on everyone's mind was whether or not Speedo-wearing Simon is gay or just simply European.


9.) Women Get Wasted, Puke, Break Dishes, & Hock Loogies
This scene from Charm School: Rock of Love was the most entertaining display of drunken behavior since Bret took the girls to Vegas on season one.


8.) Stripper Mom And Porn Star Have Threesome With Dude, While Another Girl Mistakes Couch For Toilet
Scratch that! This is the was the most entertaining display of drunken behavior, brought to us by those classy roommates of Bad Girls Club.


7.) Flavor Flav Draws The Line At Herpes
As though he doesn't have the virus himself.


6.) The Matchmaker & The Mafia
Intervention is supposed to be a poignant, serious show about addiction, however, some of the characters — like this Italian woman who comes from a family who is part of "The Family" — make us smile.


5.) Denise Richards Calls A Celebrity Journalist A Cunt
As much as Denise Richards: It's Complicated sucked, it was fun to see the real reason behind why the tabloids are so hard on her.


4.) Brooke Hogan Is A Sexist Moron
The irony of her show being titled Brooke Knows Best escaped no one. In this clip, she reveals that her thoughts on politics, and how women's menstrual cycles makes them unfit to serve as President.


3.) America's Next Top Model Is A Menstrual Show
Per Tyra Banks' advice, women should bend over and wince in pain, as though they have menstrual cramps, in order to look "editorial."


2.) Terrifying Texas Mom Shows "Pansy" Husband Who's Boss
Wife Swap is a reliable source when looking to investigate the weirdos of America.


1.) Bikini Corie
The best elimination speech in competition-based reality TV programming ever, courtesy of Paris Hilton's My New BFF.






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<![CDATA[Stage Mothers Predict Which Kid Star Will End Up In Rehab]]> Things on I Know My Kid's a Star have been getting super ugly as the competition nears the end. Danny Bonaduce had the moms on his morning radio show, and he asked them which of the children will end up in rehab first. (Notice he said "first" rather than "at all.") The women decided that little Mary Jo will be the first to just say yes to drugs and check-in to a 12 step program... because her mother was briefly married to a cross-dresser. Clip above.

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<![CDATA[ Remember Rocky, the inimitable stage mom...]]> Remember Rocky, the inimitable stage mom from I Know My Kid's a Star? Well, there's an audio interview with her up on Vh1, and we highly recommend that you listen to it. She talks about that time she asked her daughter if her tampon string was hanging below her mini skirt ("I'm from New York. Askin' if my tampon string is showin' is like askin' if there's a sale at Nordstrom's. It's not a big deal."), likened Mylie Cyrus to a stripper, and discussed her own music career, in particular, a song she wrote called "Who's the Bitch Now?" ("It's a song about a girl whose boyfriend treats her like shit and she goes out and gets all this bondage stuff and ball gags him. I mean that's the kind of songs that I write. I write the kind of shit that people really think about in life. Like real stuff that happens to them.") [Vh1]

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<![CDATA[Stage Mom Has Violent, Psychotic Outburst]]> Rocky and Hayley were by far the best team on I Know My Kid's A Star, even though Hayley had no particular talent other than being beautiful. Rocky's borderline psychotic outbursts, however, plus her mysterious weave, mocking of other children, and misanthropic nature were both entertaining and, at times, endearing. Sadly, on last night's episode, Rocky and Haley's ride came to an end. But they'll both be okay, because, like Rocky's daughter Hayley says in the clip above, "I don't care if I die, I just want to be rich and famous."

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<![CDATA[Stage Moms Come To Blows Over Hair Weaves On I Know My Kid's A Star]]> It was pretty obvious from the get go that any interpersonal dramz on I Know My Kid's a Star would take place between the stage parents. On last night's episode, flashy mom Rocky decided to give herself a haircut so that she "wouldn't outshine [her] daughter" in the competition. Alai's mother Gigi — another strong character in the house — wasn't buying Rocky's story of her perfectly layered 'do, and went searching through the house to find discarded weave tracks. Why? Because she wanted to prove that Rocky was a liar, but also to "help everyone in America to know that people have weaves." Clip above.


Related: What It Costs To Create A Child Star [TheStreet]

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<![CDATA[Stage Mother Is Clearly The Star Of I Know My Kid's A Star]]> I Know My Kid's a Star is an elimination-based reality show consisting of teams of wannabe child stars and their stage parents. It might just be the most brilliant idea: Dashing the dreams of parents living vicariously through their children. All the people on the show are so over-the-top, so the fact that an Alexis Arquette-ish single mom named Rocky is like double the personality of anyone else is really saying something. She uses the word "frig," asks if her tampon string is hanging down from her skirt, and tells her daughter repeatedly that she needs to perform well so that they can buy a big house. She is instantly the breakout star of the show, which is probably the only way that she would have it. Clip above.

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