[Tegucigalpa, Honduras; June 25. Image via Getty]

Activists of the 'World Without Gag' organization stand a protest June 25, 2009 in front of the Venezuelan embassy in Tegucigalpa for freedom of speech in Venezuela and against the measures taken by the government of President Hugo Chavez against private television channel Globovision. AFP PHOTO Orlando SIERRA (Photo credit should read ORLANDO SIERRA/AFP/Getty Images)

• Meghan McCain thinks older Republicans are scared shitless at the thought of changing their position on same-sex marriage. She doesn't realize that it's because their boyfriends might start demanding it. [Huffington Post]

• American journalist Roxana Seberi has been jailed in Iran on charges of spying that even Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadenijad considers specious. [NY Times]
• That's slightly different than Congresswoman Jane Harman trying to get actual charges for actual spies dropped in exchange for lobbyists to work on getting her a Committee gavel. [CQ]
• Hey, y'all, apparently Rahm Emanuel needed some guy in Israel to remind him he's Jewish. Was there a picture snapped of him eating bacon? [Jerusalem Post]
• At the Summit of the Americas, there was no violence and Obama promised to pay attention to human rights abuses and not assassinate Bolivian President Evo Morales. [NY Times]
• Republicans, naturally, are pissed. [Politico]
• Former CIA-chief and torture apologist Michael Hayden says that Obama, by releasing details of all the ways Hayden liked to torture people, Obama is putting America at risk. And, by America, he means "Michael Hayden." [CNN]
• He should be scared, because the UN is calling for his prosecution. Just kidding! [ThinkProgress]
• Rush Limbaugh says that John McCain is proof that torture works. He doesn't care that he just announced his support for re-making the American government in the image of North Vietnam. [ThinkProgress]
• Senator Claire McCaskill and lots of other people think it's unseemly to have a torture-advocate on the federal bench as a judge, and so they might try to impeach him. [ThinkProgress]
• There's a dude in the White House whose sole job it is to read letters and give 10 a day to Obama. [NY Times]
• Pat Robertson called the bureaucrats at DHS a bunch of closet cases. For one, Pat Robertson should know. For two, members of the party of Larry Craig should probably be careful of starting gay witch hunts. [ThinkProgress]

• Lindsay Lohan is reportedly pissed that Katie Holmes is on Glamour's April cover; LL was under the impression that her Madonna shot would get the cover. Insiders say that was never gonna happen. [MSNBC Scoop]

• Evidence in the Chris Brown case includes Rihanna's blood-stained Gucci gown, which she wore to Clive Davis's pre-Grammy party the night of the incident. [E!]
• And now the DA has received the case from the LAPD. [TMZ]
• Attorneys for Chris Brown are in talks with the DA's office, hoping to cop a plea deal. They're pushing for probation instead of jail time. [E!]
• Reportedly, the night of the beating, Rihanna told cops that Chris Brown had been violent toward her in the past and things were getting "more violent" as time went on. Also, there are more photos — taken the next day — where the bruising and swelling on Rihanna's face is more severe. [TMZ]
• Did Rihanna recently tell cops she won't testify? [NY Post]
• Chris Brown may be in court today. [NY Post]
• How did the paparazzi know that Chris Brown was jet skiing in Miami? Did he call the photo agency? [Page Six]
• Breaking: Mercury-poisoned Jeremy Piven seen eating tuna tartare and calamari salad. Fishy! [MSNBC]
• Reese Witherspoon is on the cover of Elle magazine, and says of beau Jake Gyllenhaal: "He's fabulous. He really is a fantastic guy. Unfortunately, he's not in the movie, so we can't really talk about him." She also talks about being a young mom: "When I first had Ava, I couldn't afford [help]. And it was so hard. I was out in Los Angeles, living [away from my family]. I really didn't have any friends. And I had a baby. No one else who was 22 had a baby. I couldn't go out." [Just Jared]
• Katherine Heigl is being a diva on the set of her latest movie, Five Killers. An insider says: "She reportedly refused to film any scenes until her pregnant assistant ran around and got her a Coke Zero. She refused to eat lunch next to anyone or have anyone speak to her once the cameras stopped rolling." [NY Daily News]
• James Franco, actor and MFA candidate, who attends NYU and Columbia simultaneously, has sold a collection of short stories to Simon & Schuster. [The Daily Beast]
• Matt Damon is preparing for his role in a film about Nelson Mandela by doing rugby training. But he plays a rugby champ, so it's okay. [Telegraph]
• Hmm, Dakota Fanning is in negotiations to play lead singer Cheri Currie in The Runaways, the biopic of the '70s all-girl band. Can you see Dakota like this? Oh, and you know Kristen Stewart is playing Joan Jett, right? [Variety]
• Benicio Del Toro met with Venezuelan prez Hugo Chavez and said he "had a good time." "He's nice," Del Toro told journalists. [Mirror]
• Chris Martin says he's given Natalie Imbruglia "the best Coldplay song of all time." This should be interesting. [The Sun]
• Russell Brand has been seen "snogging a new girl." [The Sun]
• What's this? Ivana Trump's marriage to 36-year-old "Italian stallion" Rossano Rubicondi was a contract to get publicity for both of them? You don't say. [Gatecrasher]
• An episode of the Osbournes' reality show will air on March 31 after American Idol. The network is running it as a "special" and not a series, but we may see all six episodes, eventually. Yay? [Variety]
• Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino are suing a film distributor and watch company for ads tied to their film Righteous Kill. Endorsements without consent? [Reuters]
• Liz Smith talks to Sharon Stone about her upcoming projects; apparently Stone has two flicks coming out — one with Christopher Walken; the other with Va; Kilmer and 50 Cent. Of Fiddy, Stone says: "He is smoking hot, brilliant!" [Variety]
• Nia Vardalos of My Big Fat Greek Wedding has a new flick set in Greece. Her character, Georgia, "moves on a whim to Greece, and [tour guide] is the only job she could get," she explains. "She is a history professor who is all about facts and figures," which only bores the tourists. "All they want is a T-shirt of the Parthenon." [USA Today]
• Michael Jackson lawsuit of the day: He's suing an auction house which is selling off his personal possessions. [AP]
• By the by, Michael Jackson's first show at London's O2 arena is July 9. [Fox 411]
• Sofia Coppola and John Waters were both spotted at the Armory Art Show in New York. Why they were there on a "press preview" day is questionable. [Mediabistro]
• Chris Isaak's has a show on the BIO channel, and his cohost is a dog named Rodney. "Rodney is not 'my' dog, because you can't own a living thing, OK," he says. "We're friends" — then Isaak breaks into song. [CNN]
• Jerry Hall, 52, plays an older lady toying with a younger man in her new Chanel ads, but says she wouldn't date a dude in his twenties: "They listen to such horrible music. They haven't the same references… And I find it a bit creepy if you're having sex with people the same age as your children." The ads are hot, though. [Daily Mail]
• People paid money to see a Toni Braxton show, and got a "Toni Braxton" show — the lady on stage was an impersonator. [TMZ]
• Kirk Douglas, 92, stars in a one man show. [AP]
• Johnny Depp's half-brother, Daniel Depp, a screenwriter, has just released his first book, a thriller/detective novel set in L.A. [USA Today]
• Great piece on the legendary Blake Edwards — responsible for flicks like Breakfast At Tiffany's and the original Pink Panther movie. He says: "I enjoy laughter. And I really, truly feel that if there were some way to distill it, that you could go to your local pharmacy and ask for 16 ounces of Pure Pratfall, I'd probably make it to 110. I think it's the best medicine in the world." [WSJ]
• Contrary to reports, Ed McMahon is not dead. [Perez]
• RIP Horton Foote, screenwriter of Tender Mercies and To Kill A Mockingbird. [USA Today]
• Blind item: "Which closeted jack-of-all-trades just became secretly engaged to her girlfriend? Word is, the two will wed soon in N.J." [Gatecrasher]
• "I've since found out Rihanna's got the same thing, so it's not really – I mean she's very cool – but I thought I was being original." — Lily Allen, sort of regretting her "shh" tattoo. [News.com.au]
• "I did not enter into motherhood with any sense of equanimity or grace," she adds with a laugh. "I'm surrounded by women who are much better mothers than I am, and they come to it much more naturally." — Felicity Huffman. [LA Times]
• "Meryl is really amazing and she has done some interesting stuff, but it's just she doesn't leave a lot of roles for the rest of us. It's an ongoing problem getting parts for older women." — the amazing Miranda Richardson, who is in The Young Victoria and whom you may have seen in The Phantom Of The Opera, The Hours, Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire or Sleepy Hollow. [Telegraph]
• "I don't think I'm a control freak. I think I'm just fearful. I operate from a lot of fear, like, of things being lost or forgotten or neglected. Losing the spiritual rather than the physical. It's so funny to me that somehow I've been portrayed as a very, like, closed-off or uptight person. I'm very open." — Reese Witherspoon, in Elle. [Just Jared]
• "It was very cool. He called and said, 'Would you mind getting on the phone with my son?' I felt like Yoda to young Skywalker." — Ralph Macchio, on speaking to Will Smith and son Jaden about their Karate Kid remake. [E!]
• "When I started Home [collection] they thought, 'who is this "Charlie's Angel" telling us about furniture and antiques?' But once you really know what you are talking about, it does not take long for people to recognize that. It is all about backing it up with knowledge. But in the business world, as a woman, you really do have to represent yourself in the proper way otherwise you won't be taken seriously." — Jaclyn Smith, on her KMart line, which is doing extremely well.
  [Reuters]
• "I'll be totally honest: That was his idea. He just sort of said, 'Hey, I'm gonna do this - I hope you're cool with it.' And I thought, 'OK, well, I mean, he's good and he's a talented guy and it wouldn't hurt having him in the movie. I suppose yeah, OK, sure.'" — Colin Hanks, on his father, Tom, playing his dad in new flick The Great Buck Howard. [WWD]

• Jennifer Aniston admits two things about that naughty nude GQ cover: that she was drunk when they snapped the pics and that they photoshopped her already perfect funbags. [NYDN]

• On the View on Wednesday, in reference to the GQ shots Barbara Wawa asked Jen, "What happened to the girl next door from Friends?" To which Jen cheekily replied, "She's there! Photoshopped!" Gotta admit the Aniston is growing on us. [NYDN]
• Speaking of the oft-discussed GQ cover, apparently the Hudson News chain in Grand Central covered Aniston's naked form in its window display with a piece of paper. Don't want those commuters getting too titillated! [NYDN]
• Eartha Kitt died on Christmas Day at the age of 81. There will be a more thorough post honoring the singer later today. [NYT]
• Certified mother of the year Dina Lohan was spotted at 1Oak with Lindsay's little brother Michael, celebrating his 21st birthday. What would the actual Oprah say about White Oprah's behavior? [Page Six]
• More missives from the Lohan clan, Lindsay wrote the following on her MySpace blog. "My father just let my family and I know, amongst others that he had another child after my little sister Aliana, or maybe he had it before Aliana?? Either way he cheated on my mother and that really sucks. Wow—do I sound like 'Debbie Downer' or what? Not trying to be." Poor Lindsay. Then she continues on to talk of brighter things, like Britney Spears's comeback. [E! Online]
• Ugh, this is so sad. Mark Ruffalo's family had to hold his brother Scott's funeral without his body, as Scott's corpse is still part of the homicide investigation. Police are still trying to piece together why hairdresser Scott was shot to death. Blerg. [Page Six]
• Congrats, Katie Couric! The news diva's ratings went up last week, to 7.4 million. [Fall Out Boy's website. He looks like every other baby. [E! Online]
• Did Tara Reid punk out on rehab? Someone claims they have snaps of her partying in Miami two days after she released a statement about entering promises rehab center. Also fishy: the photos are from her birthday party, and were allegedly taken on December 15. Her birthday is November 8. [IDLYITW]
• Ad man cum cable personality Donny Deutsch was caught cheating with a married woman earlier this year, but in his new book, he preaches faithfulness in marriage. "I'm not giving marriage advice," Deutsch claims. "I am, however, offering advice of the heart." A classic case of do what I say, not what I do. [Page Six]

• "I was quoted saying I was a virgin, but I absolutely did not say that. That's nobody's business but my own," the Duffster tells Maxim in the most recent issue. Let's go to the wayback machine and see what she said to Elle: "It's harder having a boyfriend who's older because people just assume. But [virginity] is definitely something I like about myself. It doesn't mean I haven't thought about sex, because everyone I know has had it and you want to fit in. But when they talk about it, it doesn't sound special, like you would imagine it to be. It just seems like everybody has slept with each other – you know what I mean?" Oh yes, we know exactly what you mean, Hils: you wanted to appeal to tweens back then, and now you're trying to have a broader audience. It's loud and clear! [NYDN]
• Madonna is contradicting longtime publicist Liz Rosenberg, who on Monday announced that Guy Ritchie will get between $76-92 million as part of the couple's divorce settlement. Madonna and Guy released a joint statement saying that Rosenberg's declaration was "misleading and inaccurate." What's more, "We have tried to maintain a dignified silence regarding the details of our divorce for the last few months whilst accepting the obvious media interest…The financial details of the settlement will remain private, save to say that both of us are happy with our agreement. Our primary concern, like any co-parents, is the care and well being of our children." Whilst! The plot thickens!! [Reuters]
• Not all of the gay community is excited about Sean Penn's portrayal of activist Harvey Milk in Milk. Advocate writer James Kirchick is pissed because Penn was palling around with notorious gay-rights abuser Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chávez as well as Raul Castro. Human Rights Foundation President Thor Halvorssen tells The Advocate, "That Sean Penn would be honored by anyone, let alone the gay community, for having stood by a dictator who put gays into concentration camps is mind-boggling."[Page Six]
• Earlier this year, Clay Aiken's bff, music producer Jaymes Foster, had a baby after being artificially inseminated with Clay's lil' dudes. Word is that they were both so thrilled with the results that Foster is going to go through another round of IVF in the hopes of having another Claybie. [Perez]
• Blind Item! "Which still-sexy actress, who has a daughter now getting ingenue roles, is facing reality? She finally had her first face-lift last week." We are guessing her name rhymes with Moosan Morandan. [Page Six]
• Does Anthony Kiedis have kidney trouble? The former heroin addict allegedly was sick enough to discuss going on a transplant list for a new kidney, but has since been on the mend.[Sun]
• Fergie (the Duchess, not the Pea) had her laptop stolen, along with intimate digital photos of her family. In addition! Poor Princess Beatrice's Norfolk Terrier, Max ran off during a walk last week in Windsor Great Park , and she's apparently "desperately upset." London Jezebels get on the case! [Daily Mail]
• "We discussed—for about a second—the idea of Tom’s having a German accent. I remember that conversation very clearly. I was in the sitting room of his house, and I basically just said, 'I don’t want to do that. You don’t want to be listening to that.'" —Valkyrie director Bryan Singer on Tom Cruise's performance. [GQ]
• Wowza: the iconic Bert Stern photos of Marilyn Monroe, taken in 1962 right before her death, sold at Christie's for $146,500. [AP]
• Singer Duffy will be the new face of Diet Coke. Says the Sun, "They want to move away from typical Diet Coke ads with stick-thin models and chiselled hunks." Does that sound sort of like a backhanded compliment? [Sun]
• Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford is still nursing her 2-year-old son Hermés. "It's an amazing bond with your child," she says, before adding, "I was thinner after my pregnancy than before, and I think a lot of it was the nursing." [Page Six]
• Will Actor's Guild negotiations tear Hollywood apart? Page Six is reporting that negotiations were tense on Monday night, with Jack Nicholson, Meryl Streep and Warren Beatty in favor of a strike, and Alec Baldwin, Tom Hanks, George Clooney, Charlize Theron, Helen Mirren and Kevin Spacey against it. [Page Six]
• Harrison Ford has signed on to play a morning show personality in the film Morning Glory, and our beloved Rachel McAdams is in talks to costar. According to the Hollywood Reporter, "Aline Brosh McKenna ("The Devil Wears Prada") wrote the script about a grizzled old-school anchor in the Ted Koppel mold (Ford) who quits in disgust with the gossip-heavy direction of the evening newscast. He is then recruited by a hot up-and-coming producer (McAdams) to help revive a morning talk show, only to be paired with his rival." [HR]
• "She was drunk! I don’t know if she was drunk when they actually got married, but the night before she was. She just needed that little push — the Patron push.”— Lo Bosworth on the Speidi nuptials. [People ]
• Oprah's taking her production company from ABC to HBO in order to start making more feature films, documentaries and TV series. [AP]
• Is Lisa Rinna going to pose for Playboy? Sources say: probs.The daytime diva has also been pitching a reality show to cable networks with husband Harry Hamlin tentatively called I Love Lisa. [Extra, MSNBC]
• Macaulay, Keiran and Rory Culkin have all taken time off their acting projects to mourn the sudden death of their sister, Dakota. As noted last week, Dakota was hit by a car in Los Angeles while crossing the street. "They're heartbroken. That I can tell you. They're just absolutely heartbroken," says the Culkin boys' manager. [UPI]
• Diddy hosted a birthday party for his ex and baby mama Kim Porter at Murano restaurant in West Hollywood. "The evening's specialty drink, the K.P. Martini, featured a Ciroc vodka lemon drop with a brown-sugar rim," E! reports. Oooh fancy. [E! Online]
• The Brangelina clan is parking in France for the time being. "I've been dragging them all from continent to continent lately, so we're going to have to give them a break soon. For the long term, right now, we're choosing France. It's good living there, a really nice way of life. It's a place where the kids can run free and not be hassled – we have a good relationship with the locals, and it's a good base for the family," Brad says. [Perez]
• Click here for an online preview of Flight of the Conchords season two premiere! Squee! [Funny or Die]
• If you have a crush on any member of Coldplay check out these behind the scenes shots of Chris Martin and the crew. [Rolling Stone]

MEGAN: Good morning! Did you hear? Apparently Spain's President Zapatero is nearly as bad as Hugo Chavez or Fidel Castro. And Spain's apparently in Latin America.

JASON: I heard about that. Very maverick. But you must indulge me a brief veer off topic.

MEGAN: Okay, but first Russia and now Spain? Whatever happened to attacking Grenada?

JASON: Kenley? From Project Runway? You are just the FUCKING WORST EVER IN LIFE. You are an awful, undermining, leprous, personality-crippled knee biter whose every utterance causes me pain - like white hot needles. OH DEAR GOD BUT YOU ARE AWFUL KENLEY. AWFUL! I see that in the next episode, Tim Gunn tells you to lose the "sarcasm and the facetiousness," but what's left, Kenley? What's left? A thin puddle of oozing, malodorous pus with a tweaker's take on the 1950s? I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU LIKE I HATE FELINE LEUKEMIA.

Okay. So, now. Something about Spain?

MEGAN: Dodai's post on Project Runway will be up soon!!
Anyway, apparently, we're contemplating war with Spain, too. I guess once we're done bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bombing Iran.

JASON: Well, okay. Spain. Yes. McCain, he is Los Rebelde Original! Now he either HATES Spain or thinks they are part of Latin America or hears "Jose Zapatero" and thinks "Zapatista" or something. It's terrible. I don't hate Spain. I've never been there, but it's not because I hate Spain. As soon as the Spanish master crushed ice, I am going. Provided we are not BOMB BOMB BOMB LA BAMBAING them.

MEGAN: They put ice in sangria, just not Coke. It was a nice country. But, Iran, well, that's another story.

JASON: Well, that's a relief. Isn't Sangria banned in DC?

MEGAN: No! I have a friend who actually dug into this! In Virginia, the liquor distributors got a law passed that restaurants couldn't make sangria in advance (i.e., sell it by the glass) if it contained liquor and wine, and once it went into effect everyone pitched a fit so it's either been repealed or is about to be. Yes, I have friends enough into sangria that we looked up the legislative history when Jaleo was all "we can't sell it by the glass anymore."

Sarah Palin believes that Hillary Clinton should put aside partisanship and appear on stage with her for the sake of eventually bombing Iran and not the optics of the two of them on stage together.

JASON: Oh, well, Sarah Palin is going to reap the goddamned whirlwind if she keeps that shit up. She wants to wake up in bed with some animal that's been field-dressed by Harold Ickes? I sure would not. Speaking of, I love how they're making a big deal about Palin "going to the U.N." when she's apparently going to just be yelling at Ahmadinejad from the safety of Rudy Giuliani's cosmopolitan playground. She's going to CLARIFY her position on Iran? OOOOH. That's SURE to be REALLY interesting. For a woman who's touted as Alaska's Greatest Moosehunter, she seems to do a lot of shooting fish in a barrel.

Anyway, they should just send Amy Poehler. That way there would at least be one person there not offering a pale imitation of a stateswoman. And HRC can assiduously continue to not degrade her brand by equating it with Palin's.

MEGAN: Welll, but she'll meet other world leaders that also want to yell at A'jad. And then, as he exits, their eyes will meet across the plaza, the music will swell, the yelling people will seem to quiet around them. Time will stop as their love blossoms, Jason. It'll be a new era in America's policy toward Iran, one filled with musical montages, Central Park carriage rides and hot, sweaty sex between two uptight brunettes. And Hillary Clinton, with nearly as sensitive a gag reflex as my own (just ask Bill and that one ex-boyfriend of mine), needs not to hurl on camera, so she's opting to miss it.

JASON: Naturally, some of the Jewish organizations are seeking to have the invitation to Palin rescinded:

The National Jewish Democratic Council called late today for Palin's invitation to be lifted as well. "Monday's protest against Ahmadinejad is too important to be tainted by partisanship," Marc R. Stanley, the council's chairman, said in a statement. "Unfortunately, the campaign of Senator John McCain is much more interested in scoring political points than insuring there is bipartisan solidarity around the anti- Ahmadinejad efforts.

"Therefore, we call upon the Conference of Presidents of Major Jewish Organizations to withdraw the invitation to Governor Sarah Palin and we applaud Senator Hillary Clinton's decision to not attend the rally after the attendance of Palin was announced."

MEGAN: It probably doesn't help that the Republican Jewish Coalition is running anti-Obama push polls.

JASON: And that's what happens when your convention speech includes a drop in, quoting Westbrook Pegler.

MEGAN: Oh, well, sure. But Palin's a Republican. Quoting notorious anti-Semites who also advocated for the assassination of RFK is cool as long as you're deeply committed to hating Iran and the Palestinians and whomever else we're supposed to hate. It's such a long list, I keep forgetting it all.

JASON: Half the country is on that list!

MEGAN: And like most of the rest of the world, it seems.
Anyway, so, someone hacked Palin's email. Yawn.

JASON: Yes. I saw that. Sort of couldn't avoid that!

MEGAN: Oh, wait, it proves that — as she's all but admitted to — she uses her personal e-mail for business. Great. Well, now that it's been hacked, both accounts are wiped from the servers and can't be retrieved. Way to go hackers! I know this because my Yahoo account got hacked a few months back and the guy erased my entire inbox and Yahoo was like, well, it's gone. Sorry.

JASON: Yeah. Naturally, there doesn't seem to have been anything INTERESTING in her inbox. Pictures of her family. Some phone numbers. Someone wrote her an email telling her that God was awesome.

MEGAN: God is pretty awesome, She and I totally get beer together sometimes and bitch about men. She apologizes for fucking that up a little, but free will seemed like a good idea at the time.

JASON: Real game-changing stuff! But Gawker got it, and the pageviews that come along with it. So, that will all be a part of one Nick's "SUCK IT ALEX AND CHOIRE, LOOK AT MY TOTALLY AWESOME SITEVIEWS" posts.

MEGAN: Which I read with rapt attention and think are incredibly genius. You know that.
[Tries to distract Jason with shiny things] Hey, look, Palin's the CEO of Alaska!

JASON: I view myself as the CEO of my junk.

Oh. I am petitioning Arlington County High Schools to get Nick's posts entered into the AP English curriculum. Honestly, they are an improvement over TESS OF THE D'URBERVILLES.

MEGAN: I mean, though, what isn't an improvement over Tess? It's not Hardy's best work. There's no metaphorical emasculation through inadvertent castration. (Yes, I've read a lot of Thomas Hardy. Who can identify that book and impress me?)

JASON: See. That's what Nick provides! Metaphorical emasculation!
Speaking of Fiorina, Sam Stein told me yesterday, upon his return from seeing Our Lady Of The Elite Elitism Haterz, that she used Fiorina's "captive to choice" line. Or whatever it was. The Democratic Party holds women captive on abortion? That one? That beautiful marriage of corporate PR and gender subjugation?

MEGAN: I know, except she called it a noose!

JASON: A noose? Nice.

MEGAN: But, you know, not around African-American women, of which she presumably knows many. Lynn Forester de Rothschild totally has black friends.

JASON: Oh. The Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild is straight gangsta. The Lady Lynn will take up the cause of ensuring women that they know they shouldn't be captive to the idea that they are more than a sack of meat to jack sperm into.

MEGAN: The tyranny of choice shall not ruin this great nation! Lynn, please come save me from my right to have an abortion if I get pregnant from a sexual assault, and stroke my hair at the hospital and tell me how good it feels that we didn't elect an elitist. And maybe could you help pay for my rape kit? 'Cause I'm gonna need the help once John McCain makes my health insurance unaffordable and Palin charges me for it.

Oh, God, Karl Rove speaks! He doesn't think everyone will love Palin forever, but someone forgot to let him know that the new talking point is not to call Obama a first-term Senator less they remind people that he's been in office in the Senate longer than she's been a governor.

JASON: I think Rove is late to the party with that revelation. But back to Fiorina, she's not only making sure women are held captive to choice, she made sure that American consumers weren't held captive to only being able to by quality computers, by ensuring them that they'd have the choice to buy Hewlett-Packards. Which are like a motherboard shoved inside a cows ass.

MEGAN: Wait, didn't Carly nearly ensure that no one had a choice to buy HPs, what with almost driving the country into the ground?

JASON: Yes. I didn't say Carly was GOOD at her job! Only that she got a shit ton of money to leave it. Yesterday, when I heard that McCain was going to make her disappear, I wondered if she was expecting another $21 million severance package.

MEGAN: Not even Karl Rove gets that much, and he doesn't suck at his job.

JASON: I'm not sure how this relates, but you want to know what the Sarah Palin baby name generator gave me for my name?

MEGAN: What?

JASON: Taupe Armageddon. So, what can I say. This Sarah Palin thing hasn't been ALL bad.

MEGAN: I think I might beat that: I am "Tangle Jig Palin."

JASON: OMG. We have the best Sarah Palin names ever.

MEGAN: My Sarah Palin child alter-ego should totally go hunting and drink beer with your Sarah Palin child alter-ego.

JASON: "Tangle Jig Palin" sounds like some sort of hallucinogenic tea!

MEGAN: Which we should drink deeply of while riding in an airplane shooting at wolves!

JASON: We will drink Sangria with Jose Zapatero! And visit Hillary Clinton in New York.

MEGAN: Who will totally be our mom's new BFF if only that mean Obama man will stop trying to come between them because they both totes know what sexism is like.

Carlos Lusverti, Amnesty's general coordinator in Venezuela, told the AP that shelters are pivotal in helping battered women, because "One of the first things you can do is separate them from the place where they are the victim of aggression." Despite Chavez's sketchy track record (in general) he has come through with at least a few of his promises from that 2007 address. According to According to a Venezuelan news blog called Venezuela Analysis, earlier this month, "The Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Luisa Estela Morales, had created a new tribunal which would focus exclusively on violence against women and will have the capacity to try 5,000 cases per year." But, with 90% of domestic violence cases still unreported, Venezuela has an incredibly long way to go.

Venezuela Abuse Efforts 'At Risk' [BBC]
Amnesty International: Venezuela’s Record Mixed on Eliminating Violence Against Women [Venezuela Analysis]
Amnesty: Venezuela Neglecting Battered Women [AP]
Venezuela; New Law For Women 'Useless Unless Fully Implemented', Said Amnesty In New Report [Amnesty International]

Earlier: Every Hour, One Russian Woman Dies At The Hands Of A Male Family Member

MOE: Yo whassup.
MEGAN: Yo
It's finally no longer insanely humid here for about 5 more minutes
MOE: Did it rain last night? Apparently there was
some sort of hurricane during my panel last night.
MEGAN: Yes, I was going to dinner and I looked in my
closet and was like, hey! There are those white linen pants I love and
haven't worn! So naturally it poured rain.
MOE: Yo, this is probably a Crappy Hour first but I'd
like to discuss this disgraced gambling addicted ref... I used to be really into basketball and
the 2002 Western Conference Finals between the Sacramento Kings and
the Lakers was...probably the most exciting ten days of pro basketball
at least since Jordan retired, and then fucking Game Six comes along,
and Kobe elbows Mike Bibby and Bibby gets a fucking serious bloody
nose, and THEY CALL FOUL ON BIBBY.
MEGAN: Um, I believe you have now officially lost me?
MOE: Okay, well you see there was this crooked ref in the NBA...
MEGAN: Wait, ok, so, like a guy that is being kicked
out is the one that made that call to extend the game? That sucks.
So, everyone cheats in sports. What the fuck?
MOE: No no no, I guess now that he's been disgraced
he's filing suit against the NBA alleging that games are fixed by
referees to suit the interests of PROFIT.

Tim knew referees A and F to be "company men," always
acting in the interest of the NBA, and that night, it was in the NBA's
interest to add another game to the series. Referees A and F heavily
favored Team 6. Personal fouls [resulting in obviously injured
players] were ignored even when they occurred in full view of the
referees. Conversely, the referees called made-up fouls on Team 5 in
order to give additional free throw opportunities for Team 6. Their
foul-calling also led to the ejection of two Team 5 players. The
referees' favoring of Team 6 led to that team's victory that night,
and Team 6 came back from behind to win that series."

it's like the baseball
strike(s).. that fucked MLB up reallllll goooood. And it took
McGuire/Sosa home-run race to bring something back to the game (insert
steriod aside here)

Asked about
corruption allegations dogging Hamid Karzai, the Afghan President, Mr
Bush insisted: "I have found him to be an honest man."

He also offered words of encouragement for another ally, Gordon Brown,
whom he will meet on Sunday. He said that he needed no advice on
coping with political adversity. He is "plenty confident and plenty
smart, plenty capable — he can sort it out".

Moran also addressed the issue of sexism which,
during the course of the campaign played the role of the gopher chased
by Bill Murray in "Caddyshack" — popping up and down, up and down, as
the weeks and months went by.

His style was this: After first
complimenting the beautiful eyes of a Spanish reporter, Chávez curled
his lips, frowned and scornfully declared that the Interpol news
conference, "this show organized by these clowns," did "not deserve a
single serious comment." Then he commented ad infinitum in an
hour-long counterattack.
There was guilt by association and character assassination. He called
Noble, a former U.S. law enforcement official, "disgusting,"
"immoral," "corrupt," "irresponsible," "shameful" and "Dick Tracy, the
super-cop," and a "gringo cop" at that.
There were theater and faux magic. He used a mock card trick (he said
he learned it from Castro) to help dramatize how he thought the
incriminating data had wound up on the computers. He scribbled a note,
stepped into the audience and showed it to a reporter. Then he walked
over and planted it on one of his ministers sitting in the front row
— just as he believed the files would have been planted on the
computers.

cMOE: Dude I don't want to forget this so I'm just showing you now. From Dick Morris's column on how McCain can beat Obama:

If the GOP nominee were Mitt Romney or Mike Huckabee, independents and Democrats might not vote Republican even if they became convinced that Obama is some kind of sleeper agent sent to charm and conquer our democracy.

MOE: um no kidding!
MEGAN: Why doesn't Dick Morris go back to sucking prostitutes' toes and leave the rest of us alone. Have you seen his teeth? He ain't stopped sucking stanky feet yet.

MOE: So there is too much to write about today but anyway Iran is still building a nuclear program, treaties be damned and we can't do anything about it, Burma is still letting its people die and Asian governments won't do anything about it, Hugo Chavez is supporting FARC and by any standard probably now qualifies for our state sponsors of terror list but we probably shouldn't give him the satisfaction, and now they're saying it's the end of American Superpower. For realz?!
MEGAN: Wait, wait! The NY Times is reporting this morning that Myanmar/Burma is going to let ASEAN help. I'm skeptical but maybe they actually will?

MOE: Ah, so their "soft approach" did work!

In a clear departure from the usually secretive style of the military junta, state television in Myanmar on Sunday showed video of the leader, Senior General Than Shwe, touring a refugee camp, checking supplies, patting the heads of babies and shaking hands with survivors. Some of the cyclone victims, surrounded by neat rows of blue tents, clasped their hands and bowed as the general and other senior military officials walked by.

MOE:

"Are we going to continue to cover the earthquake?" the Guangzhou-based reporter asked in an instant message to his editor, a day after China's deadliest earthquake in three decades struck Sichuan province."Of course," replied the editor, surnamed Yang. "Why not?"
Then, the reporter said, he forwarded to his boss the text of the latest edict from the propaganda department of the Communist Party Central Committee, ordering domestic news media not to send any more journalists to Sichuan.
Yang wrote back, "If everyone pays no attention to this, then it won't really be a ban."

MEGAN: Oh, she's probably still under house arrest. Like the regime wants to allow her ot be showed doing good work?
MOE: 40 years of mind control, propaganda, a string of incomprehensible, and incomprehensibly destructive political campaigns combined with severe rationing and poverty followed by 15 years of steady marginal increases in living standards and the appearance of openness will...do that to a citizenry!

MOE: I guess we should talk about how the crowd that showed up for Obama was like 1/8 the population of Portland? And maybe we should talk about how tiny his advance for Dreams From My Father was?
MOE: Oh and how a place as shit poor as Yemen manages to hide a guy with a $5 million price on his head. And also we should talk about oil prices. And McCain's continued purge of his aides who love lobbyists, which is getting like New York politicos with whores. And Anthony Shahid's fucking depressing story on Lebanon.

MEGAN: Ok, well, I can speak to the continued purge of lobbyists. Because there's one guy who isn't getting out. He's McCain's Mark Penn only potentially slightly less stupid. He's practically consolidating power in the campaign by getting rid of the other guys with lobbying ties, so that in November-January when clients are looking for someone with a good relationship to McCain that hasn't been accused of fucking him, he's the only one left. It's all very wonderfully Machiavellian.

MEGAN: Also, I think it's fair to say that Republican lobbyists understand the least about why people think they're shills out to destroy America and don't love McCain that much anyway, so it probably never occurred to anyone that it might be a teeny tiny problem to the electorate that the guy writing McCain's energy policy was an active lobbyist for energy companies. Because, hey, that's how this Administration has run things for 8 years anyway.
9:15 AM
MEGAN: As for the Yemen thing, it's actually a little funny because here, more and more people are tipping off their neighbors to pay their electric bills and shit and the economy goes into the toilet. So either the Yemenis are more loyal, or we're just that more desperate? Either way, my position has always been that I would totally turn in criminals for money, which is probably why my friends are all nerdy-upstanding types. One year at college there was a $1200 reward for a serial fire alarm puller and I was dying to know who it was because that was like, half of the money I'd make all semester otherwise.

MOE: Which reminds me of a point that I hope that Obama can make fairly. Re the "eight more years" thing. I think anyone who goes out of his way to say that a McCain administration would be "another eight years of the same" is doing a disservice to history. I think it's safe to say it would be historically impossible for another Administration to match this administration's singleminded dedication to the pursuit the interests of such a tiny group of corrupt people in all blatant disregard of democracy. I think we would be ill-advised to cheapen George W. Bush's "Worst President Ever" stain that way. No matter what happens in the general election January 20 will be a relatively good day for this country.
MOE: And regarding Yemen, I think it's safe to say we are less desperate.

MOE: And don't let me forget to bring up this fucking depressing story on the end of the era of cooperation between First and Third World countries that SOMEHOW begat the Green Revolution on the basis of a basic shared interest in the end of human suffering and not ADM profit margins.
MEGAN: Um, I don't thing McCain will be bad in the same way, but I think he's spent the last 8 years selling his soul to the Rovian devils in order to secure the nomination, and that doesn't make me particularly happy. There won't be a ton of turnover in terms of the kinds of people in middle management and shit because they're all working on his campaign and will be "owed"
MOE: This is pretty stark.

Adjusted for inflation, the World Bank cut its agricultural lending to $2 billion in 2004 from $7.7 billion in 1980.

MOE: Well, but what does McCain need with the Rovian devils now? Karl Rove is dispensing him free advice via his various punditry positions now.
MOE: There is just something that chills me about the "eight more years" refrain.

MEGAN: Well, and let's not forget that part of the problem with the IRRI's budget and people not working there is the fact that they were a proponent of biotechnology to get certain properties out of rice (salinity resistance, vitamins) that simply could not be bred in by convention means, and they were shit on by the world and the environmental movement, targeted for eco-terrorism and a lot of their developed-world money dried up over it, even though the Gold Rice project could've had serious benefits for the malnourished people of the world. I kept waiting for the article to mention that and it didn't.
MOE: Fuckin ecoterrorists. Anyway here we see shades of the pharmaceutical industry.

The insect is not a new problem. In the 1960s, the rice institute, nestled between jungle and the bustling town of Los Ba os, pioneered ways to help farmers grow two and even three crops a season, instead of one.

MOE: You talk to guys who develop drugs at pharmaceutical companies and they think it's absolutely shameful that if they want a drug to come to market these days they have to go to work on the next generation of lipitor or abilify or the drug that finally cures metabolic syndrome when there are still so many infectious diseases to be cured. At one point there was a Nature article suggesting the industry establish a non-profit pharmaceutical company to address diseases whose cures would not be money makers. The same should go for agriculture, you'd think. I don't really understand why all the philanthropy targeted at making life-improving technology more available to the third world seems to focus on hand-cranked laptops and stuff like that.

MEGAN: I think it's because a lot of philanthropy is corporate, it's designed to make companies look good to their consumers and stock holders, but those decisions are made by people within the company. So, of course that's the kind of corporate philanthropy they would engage in. And the pharmaceutical companies will pay tons of money to run those Prescription Partnership for America commercials and send out the buses and take a hit on giving medicines to a small subset of people who can't afford it rather than risk price controls, and they'll give away some AIDS medications in developing countries to keep patent rights.
9:35 AM
MEGAN: And Monsanto will spend millions of dollars spraying RoundUp on farmers fields to see if they're cheating on licensing rather than donating to the IRRI or developing drought-resistant wheat or something.
MEGAN: And everyone will give Bill Gates $1 million to research a cure for malaria or AIDS or whatever and claim that they're doing great shit and then go back to making money.
MEGAN: Anyway, if we're going to take today to be depressed about injustice, how about if you're taking medical marijuana while waiting for a transplant, you're pretty much not eligible for the transplant anymore?
MOE: Well I actually have a better answer to my own question that is not QUITE as cynical. The culture of Silicon Valley and the rapidness of the wealth creation that's happened there, the "open source-ness" of ideals, the existence of Microsoft monopolistic practices as a sort of anti-standard...the newness...the fact that the scientists in the case of the technology industry WERE the business founders and ARE the wealth holders...this swirl of factors makes electrical engineers and software engineers more idealistic and philanthropic I think. Whereas in pharmaceuticals and agriculture a lot of the scientific talent is still being managed by corporate shareholder-driven assholes because the barriers to entry are so much higher.
MEGAN: So, geeks think computers really can save the world, and everyone else is just faking it like I said? I'd buy that in moderation.
MOE: The thing is that: there are certain classes of people you might to run their businesses more ethically, less greedily...more thoughtfully...Hasidic-founded Kosher agriprocessing plants are no longer among them. (Did you read this story?) (Holy shit.)

MEGAN: I would be more surprised and outraged that this Administration is targeting illegal immigrants for arrest and deportation and doing virtually nothing to the management that hires them if I hadn't been living in this country for 30 years, probably.
MEGAN: And/or hadn't read that series in the WaPo last week about how unethically and illegally we treat supposedly-illegal immigrants while in custody.
MOE: And on that note I'll leave you with this from George Packer's New Yorker piece on conservatism:

MOE:

Nixon was coldly mixing and pouring volatile passions. Although he was careful to renounce the extreme fringe of Birchites and racists, his means to power eventually became the end. Buchanan gave me a copy of a seven-page confidential memorandum—"A little raw for today," he warned—that he had written for Nixon in 1971, under the heading "Dividing the Democrats." Drawn up with an acute understanding of the fragilities and fault lines in "the Old Roosevelt Coalition," it recommended that the White House "exacerbate the ideological division" between the Old and New Left by praising Democrats who supported any of Nixon's policies; highlight "the elitism and quasi-anti-Americanism of the National Democratic Party"; nominate for the Supreme Court a Southern strict constructionist who would divide Democrats regionally; use abortion and parochial-school aid to deepen the split between Catholics and social liberals; elicit white working-class support with tax relief and denunciations of welfare.

Finally, the memo recommended exploiting racial tensions among Democrats. "Bumper stickers calling for black Presidential and especially Vice-Presidential candidates should be spread out in the ghettoes of the country," Buchanan wrote. "We should do what is within our power to have a black nominated for Number Two, at least at the Democratic National Convention." Such gambits, he added, could "cut the Democratic Party and country in half; my view is that we would have far the larger half."

MOE: Okay so what's going on. I'm feeling especially incompetent today.
MEGAN: Oh, people are voting in West Virginia. Some polls have her ahead by, like 40 points
MEGAN: Wait, I take that back, like, they all have her ahead like that.
MOE: How many delegates? Is this all part of her verisimilitude strategy?
MOE: Logically her candidacy is dead but on a visceral level it seems so obviously winning?
MEGAN: Twenty-eight pledged delegates at stake.
MEGAN: I think that she wants to go out on a high note.

MOE: Okay here's another thing: we just dropped charges against a supposed "20th hijacker" named Mohammed Al-Qahtani whose coerced confession turned out to be less real than Hillary's chances of winning the nom. But I thought Zacarias Moussaoui was the discredited "20th hijacker".... What's the deal with this guy?

MEGAN: I know, I read that and I was totally like, wasn't that the crazy French guy? I love how we convicted that guy when some other prosecutor knew he was just, like, a poseur.
MEGAN: Which is basically was, he's, like, the more attractive, less effective shoe bomber. I recall it coming out that al Qaeda had records where the leaders all laughed at what an idiot he was.
MOE: I love how this new guy has been in Guantanamo for six and a half years! Did he have 20th hijacker overlap with Moussaoui? Moussaoui is still in prison right? He was nuts. And crazy. But not much of a terrorist!
MOE: Oh fuck check this 20th hijacker is just a metaphor
MEGAN: Yeah, good old Zed will be in prison forever.
MEGAN: No, it's not a metaphor, it's a way to keep charging various terrorist guys when we don't have any evidence of what they're really done in order to evoke the American boogeyman and keep American sentiment on the side of continued tribunals. I don't think that's a metaphor by definition.
MOE: I know I always thought that too but look that's what WIKIPEDIA SAYS.
MOE:

The term is somewhat misleading, as there is no evidence that al-Qaeda ever planned to have exactly 20 hijackers. There were many variations of the 9/11 plot, with the number of terrorists fluctuating with available resources and changing circumstances. In the end, there were 19 hijackers: three of the planes were taken over by five members each and the fourth was hijacked by only four people. One plane, United Airlines Flight 93, had fewer hijackers than the rest, thus the idea of a 20th hijacker came to be widely discussed.

The 9/11 Commission concluded that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed intended to have as many as 25 or 26 hijackers for the plot. It was also reported that 14 members of al-Qaeda, in addition to the 19 known hijackers, attempted to enter the United States to participate in the attacks.

MEGAN: But, hey, speaking of terrorists, someone asked Obama about Hamas and Israel. He likes Israel, doesn't like Hamas and has told the Palestinians that waiting to get a President that will be on their side about their damn olive trees is pretty dumb.
MOE: Earthquake update: more than 18,000 people are buried in the city of Mianyang, which is near the city of Jiangou, neither of which I'd ever heard of before. China has a lot of cities though. Looking through the Xinhua pictures yesterday I found a lot of orderly pictures of relief preparedness but none, I don't think, from Mianyang. I also love how CNN gets this eyewitness account from an expatriate "business consultant" in Beijing. He said he was at a hotel and he'd never felt anything like it. Tell that to the city of Mianyang, asshole! 30 seismic tremors seems a bit gratuitous.
MOE: The man, he is a fucking genius:

You know, when I think about the Zionist idea, I think about how my feelings about Israel were shaped as a young man — as a child, in fact. I had a camp counselor when I was in sixth grade who was Jewish-American but who had spent time in Israel, and during the course of this two-week camp he shared with me the idea of returning to a homeland and what that meant for people who had suffered from the Holocaust, and he talked about the idea of preserving a culture when a people had been uprooted with the view of eventually returning home. There was something so powerful and compelling for me, maybe because I was a kid who never entirely felt like he was rooted. That was part of my upbringing, to be traveling and always having a sense of values and culture but wanting a place. So that is my first memory of thinking about Israel.

JG: Go to the kishke question, the gut question: the idea that if Jews know that you love them, then you can say whatever you want about Israel, but if we don't know you — Jim Baker, Zbigniew Brzezinski — then everything is suspect. There seems to be in some quarters, in Florida and other places, a sense that you don't feel Jewish worry the way a senator from New York would feel it.

Sometimes I'm attacked in the press for maybe being too deliberative. My staff teases me sometimes about anguishing over moral questions. I think I learned that partly from Jewish thought, that your actions have consequences and that they matter and that we have moral imperatives.

I want to solve the problem, and so my job in being a friend to Israel is partly to hold up a mirror and tell the truth and say if Israel is building settlements without any regard to the effects that this has on the peace process, then we're going to be stuck in the same status quo that we've been stuck in for decades now, and that won't lift that existential dread that David Grossman described in your article.

I want to make sure that the people of Israel, when they kiss their kids and put them on that bus, feel at least no more existential dread than any parent does whenever their kids leave their sight.

So that then becomes the question: is settlement policy conducive to relieving that over the long term, or is it just making the situation worse?

MEGAN: I think, like Angela, we're ignoring his significance to the region. Think he'll call us out, too?
MEGAN: I speak German, I must be a descendant of Hitler, too. And you're Slavic and stuff, I'll bet you're descended from bad people, too. Chavez alone is clean of bad historical associations and speaks for all the peoples in all the countries in Latin America.
MOE: That is just the thing, I'm always concerned my life isn't masochistic enough for how it will eventually be, but when I am as miserable as I intend to be later on in life after the revolution and the famine and the war and the ice caps etc. etc. come I will be too cold and unmotivated to go ahead with the suicide. I should actually just move to Israel right now I think. The weather is so nice.
MOE: No, Chavez is one of us. Look, he too anticipates the consequences of his actions. Like the Jews!

"Maybe I'll say something to her and she'll get mad and say 'why don't you shut up?"' he said, referencing Spanish King Juan Carlos' 2007 admonition of the loquacious Chavez that touched off a bilateral dispute with Spain.

MEGAN: The king? Oh, yeah, it was sort of awesome.
MOE: I thought it had touched off a ringtone.
MEGAN: The techno remixes, though? Even fucking better.
MOE: Did it ever occur to you we could blog all day about the news and NEVER RUN OUT OF NEW LINKS and update it CONSTANTLY AND CONTINUOUSLY and some people would ACTUALLY READ IT but at the end of the day none of it would matter???
MEGAN: Aren't I the one that just said that life is a suicidal act?
MOE: Speaking in that realm Obama leads the non-race to amass unsolicited campaign songs!
MOE: Dude I want to hear the "Jamaican reggae tribute"

MEGAN: Um, I'm not sure you do.
MOE: And also in the realm of unsolicited Obama tributes is this thing a Time Inc. creation? Oh, or does Hillary have a superhero too because duh it is an easy pun?
MEGAN: At this point, wouldn't she be, like, a villain? Spoiler, etc?
MOE: Oh man this is so fucking cheesy.
MEGAN: Yes, I hereby apologizing for assaulting the ears of anyone who clicked through.
MOE: Readers: Porque no te callas is a much better audio accompaniment.
MEGAN: Or Barack O'Bollywood.

• On the eve before the Texas/Ohio primaries that could end the Hillary Clinton candidacy, Camille Paglia decided to give an exclusive interview to...US Weekly. In which: she praises Barack Obama for his superior kung fu skills and rails against Hillary for hiring a team "so self-infatuated with their own clever superiority, that in fact they're quite transparent," and also choosing to appear in US Weekly. [US Weekly]
  
• Whatev! Hill's in "happy-warrior mode." [NY Times]
  
• "Colombia has become the Israel of Latin America." Hugo Chavez re the killing of commander Raul Reyes and 16 other FARC guerrillas on Saturday. [Haaretz]
  
• Ummmm, we're busy dealing with the Israel of the Middle East right now, mkay guys?(Hahaha Kthanxdie). Condi visits tomorrow following Israeli air strikes on Gaza that have killed 117 Palestinians. [Wash Post]
  
• Rush Limbaugh asks his callers to vote for Hillary because "this is too good a soap opera...We need Barack Obama bloodied up politically. It's obvious that the Republicans are not going to do it, they don't have the stomach for it... I know it's a difficult thing to do, vote for Clinton. But it will sustain this soap opera, and it's something I think we need and it'll be fun, too." [CNN]

• Why does Russia bother holding elections? Uhhhhh, so stupid uninformed people like us won't get it confused with, God forbid, China. [Slate]
• Warren Buffett says the country is "essentially" in a recession. [CNBC]
• An that he'd put either Clinton or Obama in charge of a business — just not Berkshire Hathaway. [Reurters]
• John McCain wants you to know right now while his opinion is still irrelevant that he is in favor of interest rate cuts. [WSJ]
• Thousands of southern Chinese are protesting the construction of a chemical plant near their fishing villages after the same strategy worked to get the project moved from the city of Xiamen. (Um, just how pristine and unpolluted were any of these places before the residents started getting all NIMBY on economic development's ass? Just wondering.) [Wash Post]

"We're seeing the fall of the empire. Like the fairytale, the emperor is naked. We've seen the emperor's ass."

Naomi Campbell interview with Chavez [AFP]

• So that's what Naomi Campbell was doing in Venezuela: interviewing Hugo Chavez for British GQ. Now they're sending her to talk to Fidel Castro. Is this a fucking joke? And if not, does she realize the whole Latin American socialist alliance thing is like, kinda last season? [Vogue UK]
  
• Selling real fur as "faux": clever move, Neiman and Saks! [Consumerist]
  
• On the heels of an ELLE redesign, Vogue is undergoing some design "tweaking" of its own. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Agyness Deyn is the face of — well, the whole entire fucking universe, including the Armani cell phone. [Sassybella]

• Marketing ploy we just can't avoid: Blackberry has asked Karl Lagerfeld, Dita von Teese, Henry Holland and others to share their favorite secret spots for the masses on their new website The B List. Karl: likes eating tacos at La Esquina in NYC. Where they put crickets in the tacos! [Vogue UK]
• Signing bottles of Armani perfume in Milan, Beyonce shared how excited she was to go to her "mum's" for Christmas. Oh god. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Whoah: Over-the-knee Uggs. [FabSugar]
• Coach: still doing meh. [Portfolio]
• Lanvin Spring 2008 ads: you know, they said the giant tent-dress trend was over, but not really getting that vibe with this one... [Sassybella]
• Valentino Spring 2008 ads: who needs plastic surgery when you've got a giant handbag to shield your face? [Sassybella]

• Designer Roberto Cavalli has never been known for subtlety. On working with celebrity clientele: "Well Jennifer Lopez, at this moment, she requests something very special because she is waiting for the baby. It is so complicated because every week she is getting bigger." Ha ha, and Lopez still hasn't confirmed her pregnancy. [People.com]
  
• Liz Claiborne's profits fell 63% last quarter as the company enters semi-meltdown mode. You might recall that Tim Gunn was recently tapped as the company's "Chief Creative Officer," which is one of those titles that probably means crap all but is it really realistic to expect us not to drop a "make it work" joke here? [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Okay, so there are these rumors that Gisele is supposed to oust Kate Moss as the face of Versace, and then there are these other rumors that Kate is supposed to become the face of Yves Saint Laurent, where Gisele is currently model-of-choice, and it all kind of makes sense in that way that it did when "Bennifer" broke up to create two much more predictable couplings, and Kate Moss looks kind of awkward and wrong in those Versace ads anyway, but it's still kinda disappointing. [Vogue UK]

• Is Diane von Furstenberg itching to finally tie the knot with long-time beau Barry Diller? If we're reading this blind item right, maybe.. [NYDaily News]
• Aw, we just love when internships at Harper's Bazaar are up for grabs at a charity silent auction! You know, for the children. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Jude Law's ex Sadie Frost's clothing line FrostFrench has taken London by storm and the label's flagship store is a great success and now they're opening more stores! Meanwhile, Jude Law seems to be balding. Just saying. [Vogue UK]