April 23, 2013. Image via Splash.

As Janet Jackson herself predicted in 2001: Maybe we'll meet at a bar / He'll drive a funky car / Maybe he'll be a Qatari-born retail billionaire / And I'll convert to Islam. Sure enough, rumor has it that Jackson has retired from show business for good and adopted the religion of her husband Wissam al-Mana, who she…

In today’s creakingly slow news cycle, Reuters and TMZ, like two jackals starving in the wilderness, jumped on the same lurid story: a woman named Katherine Thurston menaced Hugh Jackman at a gym in New York City, fled, and was promptly arrested. The Reuters version is fairly prosaic — Katherine waves an electric razor …

Kate Middleton is a fan of Keeping Up With The Kardshians now, because Kate Middleton is just like you, if you are an actual princess/duchess with the hair of a Disney princess who poops bars of L'Occitane soap fully wrapped in their artisinal paper.

It's Wolverine with wolverines! The internet is complete.

Last night at the 85th annual Academy Awards, for the most part, the look on the red carpet was classic Hollywood glamour. Like rare birds during mating season, A-listers tried to outshine each other, and some of the bright plumage and peacockery on display was truly stunning. Alas, there were a few sartorial missteps…

Before Jessica Biel became a married lady, every morning she hesitantly donned an overly-starched uniform with a name-patch that read "Please Be My Husband" on it. But now that she's got a ring on it, she can rock ANY outfit she wants! At least, according to her friend and stylist.

There's no boner-killer quite so potent as a visit from "Aunt Period Blood," IF YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN. Isn't that right, Billy-Bob Thornton? Oh...no!?!? You like having sex with hot ladies even if their vagina is doing something totally natural that most vaginas do 20% of the time? Do tell!

So this is genuinely bizarre: Katie Couric and New York police commissioner Ray Kelly are investigating a series of 911 calls placed in the early hours of the morning—Tuesdays at 2 AM—from a number registered to Couric's dead husband Jay Monahan, who passed away of colon cancer in 1998. Because it is highly unlikely…

Tales of cinematic catastrophes often make for more engaging entertainment than the movies they're inspired by. For instance, what the fuck is John Carter? Would Michael Cimino have ever recaptured his The Deer Hunter form if he'd never directed Heaven's Gate? Is Dune actually a real movie, or just a dream that David…