• Tiger Woods reportedly still hasn't brought in a public relations crisis team to help him deal with the public fallout and media blitz surrounding his "indiscretions," even though it was recommended to him when the scandal broke. [RadarOnline]

• "They've been completely ineffective in handling this scandal from a pr standpoint," says a source, "It's just gotten worse and worse." [RadarOnline]
• The scandal is starting to take its toll on Tiger's sponsors, as well: Gillette spokesman Mike Norton says the company is pulling back on all ads featuring Woods in order to "support him as he takes a break from his professional career and that's why we're supporting him by limiting his role in our marketing programs." [BostonGlobe]
• Nike also supports Woods, stating that the company will stand by him through his troubles: "Tiger has been part of Nike for more than a decade. He is the best golfer in the world and one of the greatest athletes of his era. We look forward to his return to golf. He and his family have Nike's full support." [USWeekly]
• AT&T, meanwhile, says they "support Tiger's decision and our thoughts will be with him and his family," and "are presently evaluating our ongoing relationship with him." [NYDN]
• And News of the World is reporting that Elin Nordegren is set to dump Tiger after Christmas: "In the short-term they'll act like any other loving couple," says a source, "Elin won't break it all up right away. But she does need some time alone to herself and a legal separation will happen very quickly." [NewsoftheWorld]
• "If I wanted to tell people what I do with my vagina, I'd have made a sex video a long time ago. Largely, people don't know the whole story about anything. But still they need to put a name on it so that they can label it and put it on the side and not have to dedicate time to figuring it out. It's laziness."-Michelle Rodriguez on rumors about her sexuality. [TimesOnline]
• Hugh Grant says he was drunk when he spent $2 million on an Andy Warhol painting of Elizabeth Taylor in 2001; he later sold the painting in 2007 for $13 million. "I slightly regret selling it now," he says, "even though it made me rich." [DailyMail]
• Bonnie Wright says her older brother had read the Harry Potter books and thought she'd reminded him of Ginny Weasley, the character she ended up playing in the Potter films. "I was only nine at the time and didn't know who any of the characters were" Wright says, "but I read the first one and was hooked. When my mum came home from work, I said, "Please, please can you get me an audition for Harry Potter?" [DailyMail]
• "I always got on very well with John. He took the piss out of me, which made me laugh. He was a character, sarcastic, full of quips. When the Beatles had their first record out, "Love Me Do", John played it to me and I came out with a classic: 'You should sell this to the Everly Brothers.' Shows you what I knew! He never let me forget that. Whenever I saw him he'd say 'We're still writing songs for the Everly Brothers' and piss himself laughing."- Jimmy Tarbuck, who went to school with John Lennon [Guardian]
• Holly Madison has been spotted recently with Good Charlotte's Benji Madden, though she claims he isn't her boyfriend, but her "adventure buddy." [People]
• Jonathan Togo of CSI:Miami was arrested and charged with felony domestic violence after an argument with his girlfriend. [TMZ]
• Kim and Khloe Kardashian buy underwear, news at eleven. [PageSix]
• Carey Hart is apparently not afraid of the old tattoo-breakup curse, as he had his wife, Pink's face tattooed on his leg in a ""day of the dead style." [People]
• "People do discover new music, but it's very difficult. Modern music to most people sounds strange and abstract and painful to the ear, but nonetheless I think it's worth extolling. You need to discover something new. That's what human beings need: newness, novelty."-Sting [People]
• And, perhaps in a bid to qualify Sting's claims, Spencer Pratt has registered his own music company, "King Spencer Music." [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Sting's son, Jake Sumner has been tapped to shoot a short film for DKNY, starring Christina Ricci. [PageSix]
• Mariah Carey is set to embark on her first tour in three years: the "Angel's Advocate" tour will kick off on New Year's Eve in NYC and end in Las Vegas in February. [Reuters]
• Summit Entertainment, the studio that distributed Twilight, also plans to release Roman Polanski's The Ghost Writer in 2010. [Reuters]
• Jennifer Hudson says she's a "holiday fanatic" who loves to celebrate Christmas: "It hurts me so when I see people like, 'Whatever, Christmas is just another day.' I'm that person who's going to go over there and get you into the holiday spirit. And that's how I've always been." [People]
• Halle Berry says she has been volunteering at the Jenesse Center, an LA-area battered women's shelter, for years, as "I saw my mother battered, and could not do anything to stop it. My father was tyrannical, lashing out at her for no reason. I felt the effects that had on our family." [PageSix]
• "To anyone who has a dream I say follow that dream. You are never too old. It is never too late. And dreams can become a reality."-Susan Boyle [People]

[London, December 8. Image via Getty]

• Angelina Jolie has a "secret family" she's "kept hidden for years."

She's been paying to support seven orphans — three girls and four boys — at the SOS Children's Village in Amman, Jordan. During her recent visit to the Middle East, she took Brad to see the kids, who live together in one house with a foster mother. Image at the link and, as always, consider the source. [National Enquirer]

• Beyoncé threw a star-studded 1920s-themed birthday party in the Dominican Republic for Jay-Z's 40th; Kanye West, Amber Rose, Diddy, Alex Rodriguez, Kate Hudson, Alicia Keys, Lyor Cohen and Tory Burch were in attendance. [Mirror, Page Six]
• As seen in a Snap Judgment, Lady Gaga met the Queen of England last night; the former wore a modest latex gown. On stage, she wore an Elizabethan collar, and played a Dali-esque piano 30 feet in the air from a cushion suspended by chains. The very definition of restraint! [Daily Mail]
• A woman was rushed to the hospital from Tiger Woods' home in Florida this morning. All we know is that she is blonde, and that the ambulance was followed by a car with another blonde woman driving. [Newser, People]
• The assumption is that the person in the hospital is Elin Nordegren's mom. [TMZ]
• TMZ has a random blurry pic of Tiger Woods chatting up a waitress at a Las Vegas nightclub. [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods will not be the best man at Byron Bell's wedding this weekend — Tiger's not even going to the event. [TMZ]
• TMZ saw the admissions chart when Tiger was in the hospital the day after Thanksgiving and paperwork says Tiger was there because of an "OD." [TMZ]
• A Florida trooper tried to get Tiger Woods' blood results from the hospital — suspecting DUI — but was denied. Preferential treatment? [CBS News]
• Tiger's wife Elin Nordegren has purchased a mansion in Sweden; it's on a small, secluded island reachable from Stockholm only by ferryboat. Will she move there? [NY Daily News]
• Tiger Woods' mistress Jaimee Grubbs was given a VIP table next to Lauren Conrad and near Leighton Meester at an LA club. Why? That's unclear. But this column is titled "Tiger's Tails Live It Up." [Page Six]
• FYI: George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis are still dating, though you may have heard a rumor that they broke up. Her dad says: "My daughter is happy and at peace… There is genuine affection between my daughter and Clooney." [UPI]
• 50 Cent says: "Susan Boyle is hot right now. I got to get her on a track, for real." OMG that could be awesome. Fiddy adds: "She's cool. I'd love to take her clubbing, show her around my world. She'd have a great time." [PopEater via Mirror]
• Lindsay Lohan is headed to India, where she's filming a BBC documentary about impoverished kids. [Page Six]
• LOL: "Madonna stayed away from Courtney Love at the bash for Tom Ford's movie, A Single Man." [Page Six]
• Just when you thought that Tiger Woods had knocked these fools out of the news: Hailey Glassman calls Jon Gosselin "a monster" in this video. She says Jon and Kate Major and told her that Kate Major was going to "pretend" to be Jon's girlfriend to take the tabloid heat off of her. "Stupid me," Hailey says. She explains that then she found out that Jon slept with Kate Major. Hailey also says: "I was with a liar. I loved a liar. I was lied to constantly." [Radar Online]
• Um... Hailey Glassman is still living with Jon. And: "I'm not on speaking terms with my mother because of Jon. He's thrown a huge fork in my family. That's the saddest part about all of this. When all the cheating accusations came out I'd catch him lying, he'd call my mother and tell her 'I love Hailey, I would never cheat on her. Those other girls are whores and they're trying to extort money from me.' At that point I would break up with Jon and tell him to leave me alone. My mom would then come to me and say, 'Jon's a great guy.' He would manipulate my mother because he knew my mother and I were best friends. He would manipulate my mother to get back to me and I would forgive him." For the love of God. [Radar Online
• Jon Gosselin was named the "most provocative" person of the year by HLN. "Jon Gosselin was the tabloid train-wreck gift who just kept on giving!" says Showbiz Tonight senior executive producer David Levine, with glee. [CNN]
• Alexa Ray Joel is recovering at her father's estate in Long Island. [NY Daily News]
• This columnist notes that Alexa Ray Joel is "a piano woman in an age dominated by Beyoncés and Rihannas, a torch singer with a taste for Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald, writing her own music, booking her own gigs, and distributing her CDs independently. The fact that she has skills and a couple of famous parents didn't necessarily make her artistic life easier… what happened this weekend was also a poignant reminder of just how dispiriting it can be to be a young artist at a time when record deals only seem to go to reality-show contestants, and radio consolidation has made it harder for niche artists to find an audience." [The Daily Beast]
• ABC may have had issues with Adam Lambert, but not Fox — he'll be singing on So You Think You Can Dance. [Page Six]
• Mickey Rourke will marry his girlfriend Elena Kuletskaya in Moscow in April; his thrid marriage and her first. Mickey and Elena met when she was coaching him in Russian dialogue for Iron Man 2. [Page Six]
• Kate Bosworth will star in Lost Girls & Love Hotels, written by Nadia Conners and directed by Young Victoria's Jean-Marc Vallee. She'll play a woman who tries to forget her past by living in Tokyo, where she's a flight attendant trainer by day and "sex- and drug-addled" by night. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Tori and Candy Spelling are communicating, says Dean McDermott. "Candy has seen the kids, which is what this is all about." Does this mean that they're no longer using the media as voicemail? [People]
• Peeps in LA: Prepare yourselves for a Pee-Wee comeback! He is doing a new stage play — The Pee-Wee Herman Show — with puppets and all of the original characters: Chairry, Genie, Conky, Magic Screen, Miss Yvonne and Cowboy Curtis. All the original actors from the TV show will play their parts on stage, except for Laurence Fishburne, who has a previous commitment. But Fishburne says if there is a movie, he'll get a Jheri curl and be there. [CNN]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Amy Adams would like to know the sex of her fetus. "I thought about waiting and I just don't think that's really my personality," she explains. "It's not about planning a nursery, it's more about I just want to know. I want to be able to relate in that way. That's what works for me, but I totally believe in whatever works for the individual." [People]
• On a German TV show, Hugh Grant embraced a comedian named Anke Engelke, and she recoiled, cringed and made a face. Why, yes, there are pix at the link. [People]
• Joely Richardson says: "I cannot imagine that there will ever be a day when I don't think of [my sister] Natasha." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand has returned from a four-day retreat in which he studied the art of transcendental meditation. Now he can stop contemplating the universe and go back to focusing on Katy Perry's assets. [The Sun]
• Leona Lewis was flown to Monte Carlo over the weekend, where she was paid six figures to sing for "one of Romania's richest men." Maybe she changed the lyrics? Keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding cash. [The Sun]
• Porn star Janine Lindemulder lost her request for expanded visitation rights for her 5-year-old daughter with ex-husband Jesse James (who is now married to Sandra Bullock). [LA Times]
• A nude photograph taken by David Bailey of Roman Polanski and wife Sharon Tate — taken shortly before she was brutally murdered — sold for $11,250 at an auction on Monday. [Reuters]
• No weasel jokes: Pauly Shore is suing his brother, accusing him of elder abuse against their mother, who has Parkinson's. [Radar Online]
• "Two physicians accused of over-prescribing addictive medication to Anna Nicole Smith will fight efforts by the state medical board to bar them from practicing medicine," [LA Times]
• The Dallas remake: Coming to a TV near you. [NY Daily News]
• "A judge has dismissed a misdemeanor domestic violence charge against gospel singer BeBe Winans after determining he had seen a counselor as required by prosecutors." [USA Today]
• "On my first day [on the set of Space Cowboys], he came into the hair and makeup trailer, and the 13-year-old girl in me took over. I flung myself across the trailer and hugged him — and I hugged him hard. I said 'Hi, I'm Marcia Gay Harden!' and he said, 'I know, I cast you.'" — Marcia Gay Harden, on meeting Clint Eastwood. [Gatecrasher]
• "[Many young American actresses] have a Nickelodeon quality to their acting, like they're goofing. We needed a girl who looked like she was from 1973 and who got the reality of the story. Saoirse is fiercely courageous. In a way, I like to think that Susie Salmon found us." — director Peter Jackson. He and Stanley Tucci both sing the praises of Lovely Bones star, 15-year-old Irish actress Saoirse Ronan — whom you may have seen in Atonement — at the link. [USA Today]
• "[A bully] calls up my phone and he's like, 'Is Taylor there?' and I just handed it to my bodyguard and I was like, 'John, give him a talking to.' So he's like, 'Yo, you don't ever call this number ever again. I put my fist through your face.' It was really great. It was effective." — Taylor Swift. [MSNBC]
• "If I have to go out on stage and, you know, jump around in a pair of hot pants I better look good, and also when I perform I'm like an athlete, I have to be in good shape. I'm not panicked, I just know what my job is, and I know that if I want to be able to wear whatever I want to wear on stage, then my body better look good." — Madonna. [MSNBC]

• Courtney Love is making vicious accusations via Facebook, and both Edward Norton and Britney Spears are involved.

In one message, Courtney writes (and consider there to be a giant [sic] after everything):

IF something happens to me, NO my will is NOT at Greenberg Glusker, that will is FORGERY…i created a new one per lISA FERGUSONs attorney who cannot be FOUND but that needs altering as it has Edward in it and Norton doesn't have a CLUE how evil his own BM is he wont fuck a future Senator/Film Actor … i m shcoked at myself i never kiss and tell unless im really mad at an ex for like LOSING 300,000$ of my kid hes supposed to be paternal abouts money, oh yeah Norton just LOST 300k

As for Britney, Courtney says:

britneys dad molested her , imagine the father that molested you owning you for slavery while your forced to sing songs picked for thier sexual content every night, insane right? i have it on First had authority, and fight as hard as she is and does she still didnt pull that card, its a pride thing i can relate to, However they want to play dirty, lets go, Im SO not affraid of the little trolls who hit this when i was fucked up who are called lawyers. lets GO.

Um… yeah. Shit. Speechless. [Movieline]

• In other news, Courtney Love to her band to a strip club and left them there. [Page Six]
• We've heard Britney Spears wants to get married again, but have we heard this? A source says: "She is in love with the idea of marriage. She has been married only twice, but has proposed to many more." [MSNBC via News.com.au]
• The White House state dinner was star-studded! In attendance: Producers David Geffen and Jeffrey Katzenberg, directors Steven Spielberg and M. Night Shyamalan, actor Blair Underwood and actress Alfre Woodward. Plus: Deepak Chopra and journalists Sanjay Gupta, Katie Couric, Fareed Zakaria, Robin Roberts and Brian Williams. And Jennifer Hudson performed! My last dinner party involved plastic cups and white zinfandel. [UPI]
• If something is really good, Rihanna calls it "barf." "Usually it's ‘ill' or ‘I want to throw up on it," she says. "But barf is the worst," meaning the best. "Barf is 10 out of 10." [NY Times]
• Damn: Rihanna is getting paid $500,000 to to perform at a New Year's Eve party at the Emirates Palace Hotel in Abu Dhabi. Can she wear that white Fifth Element bandage jumpsuit in the UAE? [Page Six]
• Things are heating up between Emma Watson and her Spanish rock star. [Telegraph]
• Usher is dating a record exec — named Grace Miguel — who used to work at the label he's signed to. And, shocker! Grace and Usher's mom, Jonetta, do not get along. Sound familiar? The same thing happened with Usher's wife, Tameka Foster. [Gatecrasher]
• Here's a happy Thanksgiving: Ellen DeGeneres gave an out-of-work mom from the Bronx $10,000 and a new car. [NY Daily News]
• Donny Osmond won Dancing With The Stars. Then there was a fire on the set. [People]
• DWTS judge Carrie Ann Inaba is having surgery: "I have arthritis. The space around my spinal cord has become compressed," Inaba explains. "I have been locked. My neck was so stiff. We're hoping this procedure will relieve that." [People]
• The pyramid design of Lady Gaga's Heartbeats headphones was inspired by her fashion choices when growing up: "I wore studded leather jackets, me and my friends in New York. Lifestyle, grit, passion and love for music, freedom. These were the things I thought about when we were designing [the headphones]." [People]
• Beyoncé just finished her tour, and told the crowd at her last stop — in Nottingham, England — that she hopes to see them all in a year with a new album. Work work work! [Reuters]
• Jennifer Lopez's ex-husband, Ojani Noa, admits he's tried to sell footage of himself and La Lopez from their time together, but it's not sleazy: "They think I have a sex tape with her and that I'm trying to sell it. My tape is from our honeymoon, the wedding, us hanging out. There's no nudity-maybe one spanking. There's moments of her fighting with her mom...couples having fun and kissing. If someone has a sex tape, it's not me." [E!]
• Congrats to Alan Cumming, who was made an Office of the British Empire at Buckingham Palace on Tuesday. The Scottish-born actor and gay rights advocate reportedly dressed in tartan head-to-toe for the occasion. Must find pix! [UPI]
• American Idol season 3 contestant Jon Peter Lewis (who?) has issues with Adam Lambert's AMA performance: "All this nonsense about Adam Lambert's whole project being art is bogus. That idea is absurd. It's like calling Thomas Kinkade art. What a sham." [Us Magazine]
• Melissa Etheridge has advice for Adam Lambert: "Don't believe everything they say. Stay true to yourself. The only person who can answer what you should do is  yourself. Love yourself. You will hear as many people praise you as you will hear them tear you down." [E!]
• Rosie O'Donnell was asked if she's enjoying the single life. She replied: "I'm not." [NY Daily News]
• Would you like to see a picture of the Real Housewives Of NYC frolicking in the Virgin Islands? [NY Post]
• "A million fans are being invited to take part in the composition of a pointillist portrait of the late U.S. pop icon Michael Jackson… The project has the blessing of Jackson's brother, Jermaine." [UPI]
• The Official Michael Jackson Opus book is 26 lbs., 400 pages and $249. [The Life Files]
• Julie Andrews will play London's O2 arena, and the venerable Clive Davis writes: "Whether or not Andrews's voice is the flawless multi-octave instrument that it once was, she has always been a consummate professional… Besides, legends are in short supply at the moment." [The Times Of London]
• Transformers director Michael Bay hosted a reunion of the show's cast and crew the other night in NYC, and Megan Fox did not attend. [Page Six]
• Amber Rose asked a stranger in a bathroom to zip up the back of her dress for her, saying: . "I have a hard time staying in this thing, but Kanye loves it." [Page Six]
• The new Miss California, Nicole Johnson, says she once dated Michael Phelps. And! Phelps may have dated Carrie Prejean as well. [TMZ]
• "A nude photo of film director Roman Polanski, who is now being held in a Swiss prison, and his wife Sharon Tate taken shortly before she was brutally murdered, will be sold at an upcoming auction where it could fetch more than $10,000, organizers said." [Reuters]
• Avril Lavigne was seen "passionately making out with a mystery man" in NYC Tuesday night. She was seen with Wilmer Valderrama over the weekend… Maybe divorce makes you horny? [Radar Online]
• The Pussycat Dolls have broken up and no one is speaking to Nicole Scherzinger, if you care. [Page Six]
• "Nellie McKay has three loves - animals, the Poconos, and Doris Day." [Philadelphia Inquirer]
• "Cagefighter's mummy: Nasty Jordan has been horrid to my little Alex." [The Sun]
• "She's a remarkable story… But you're on air every day. Eventually you think, 'do people really want to hear me talk anymore?'" — Phil Donahue, on Oprah ending her show. [Page Six]
• "Wait … is that Zac Posen? Wow." — Zac Efron. [Gatecrasher]
• Ten years ago I wouldn't have thought about having any children at all. [But do I want some?] Yes, yes, yes. I haven't given up hope. I find I'm not as bad with children as I used to be. I see a lot of children are over-parented now, over-adored and over-spoiled. I quite like children to be left alone to get on with it." — Hugh Grant. [Daily Express]
• "I think a show like this probably couldn't have happened five years ago, but I think with the success of American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance and other movie musicals, like Hairspray, Chicago and Nine that's coming up, they set the groundwork for people to accept it and being excited about it. I think we're putting a different twist on it to make it fun and interesting and kind of cool." — Glee's Matthew Morrison. [CNN]
• "You know that devil on your shoulder that tells you terrible things about people and of course you'd never say 'maybe you don't really believe.' She has no filter, and it just comes right out. So I'm a nice person after I leave Glee because I get to exercise the heinous behavior while I'm in a track suit yelling at defenseless children." — Jane Lynch. [CNN]
• "As traumatic and as terrifying as it was — and sometimes I wish it never happened — my whole life changed in the most amazing way after I went through that. If I didn't go through that, I swear, you would've been interviewing a completely different person." — Rihanna, on being assaulted by Chris Brown. [NY Times]
• "Everyone wanted me to see a therapist to just talk about it, and I refused. In Barbados we don't do that. We keep it in our family, and figure it out and move on. I just put my game face on and went on with my life. But deep down inside I had some things to get past, and it came out in the music." — Rihanna. [NY Times]

[Kingsbarns, Scotland; September 30. Image via Getty.]

• Lily Allen was performing in Helsinki, Finland when she burst into tears. Before the show, she Tweeted:

"Fell over badly last night and I've really fucked my back up. Just had an injection in my bum. How am I gonna get through tonight's gig?" Throwing out your back is terrible! So is Lily's hair/makeup in these pix. [Daily Mail]

• Bill Maher said he once saw Brad Pitt roll the most perfect joint he had ever seen. "I'm an artist," Brad agreed. [NY Daily News]
• Brad Pitt is being added to Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes as the detective's arch enemy. The character of Moriarty was missing from a rough cut of the film, and movie execs insisted the famous nemesis be added to the flick. Ritchie called old pal Pitt (who was in Snatch) and he'll film this week in London. [Mirror]
• The Dancing With The Stars season 9 cast: Revealed! Macy Gray, Melissa Joan Hart, Kathy Ireland, Mya, Iron Chef host Mark Dacascos, Ashley Hamilton, former Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin, Donny Osmond, Tom DeLay (?!?!?!), Olympic swimming gold medalist Natalie Coughlin, model Joanna Krupa, Debi Mazar, Kelly Osbourne, Aaron Carter, Chuck Liddell, and snowboarder Louie Vito. [ABC News]
• Jennifer Aniston complimented a woman pole-dancing on the set of The Bounty, saying she looked like a professional. The lady replied, "I am!" [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney plans to sue a photographer who climbed over the wall of his Lake Como home and took pictures of a 13-year-old girl changing in a guest room, as well as snaps of Clooney and gf Elisabetta Canalis. Cloons says: "I don't know about the law in the United States, but in Italy it's illegal for photographers to climb over my wall. He'll also press charges against two magazines who published the photos. [Gatecrasher]
• Beyoncé: Secretly taking ballet classes at Alvin Ailey School of Dance. [Gatecrasher]
• Jon Gosselin went to a party thrown by a student at Parsons School Of Design. He only stayed for 20 minutes, but arrived with a paparazzo and left with two female students. Keepin' it classy. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Even though Paula Abdul won't be on Dancing With The Stars, she MIGHT get a ABC show of her own. Paula's Wacky Clappy Variety Show? [TMZ]
• Madonna performed in Warsaw on Saturday even though it was a holy date, the Assumption of Mary feast. National group Pro Polonia called her a "crypto-Satanist," which is not very crypto. [Daily Express]
• Bob Dylan was on tour and took a walk in Long Branch, NJ, when he was stopped by cops; a resident had reported someone "wandering" around the neighborhood. A cop asked him for I.D. "I don't think she was familiar with his entire body of work," says a town official. [NY Daily News]
• Jennifer Lopez is looking pretty hot on the cover of InStyle and inside she's saying stuff like: "There's nothing as huge as giving birth to another human being and having to be responsible for another life. There's you before kids, and there's you after kids – and they're not the same you." [People]
• Mark Wahlberg was rushed to the hospital on Friday morning after suffering smoke inhalation on the set of The Frighter. A smoke machine was being used for atmosphere and Wahlberg breathed in too much. [RadarOnline, Daily Express]
• Amy Winehouse's divorce from Blake Fielder-Civil will be finalized at the end of the month, but Blake allegedly told a reporter: "I want to take her out for dinner and propose again. I hope that within five minutes we'll be planning where we're next going to get married." [Daily Mail]
• Blake also says: "She is looking beautiful and healthy now and it reminds me of the old Amy." [News Of The World]
• Amy will appear on Strictly Come Dancing in September as a backup singer for her 13-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield, and there's a cute picture of them hugging at the link. [Mirror]
• Bodysnarky opening sentence of the day: "She's looking thinner than ever, but there's one part of Victoria Beckham that looks set to put on a lot of weight very quickly - her wallet. Posh Spice has landed a £3million contract on American Idol…" [Daily Mail]
• Joe Simpson is pushing Jessica Simpson as the perfect replacement for Paula Abdul on American Idol. [Page Six]
• Saturday night after a Fall Out Boy show, Ashlee Simpson and husband Pete Wentz were at a bar when Ashlee got wasted, yelled at Pete and made him leave his own party early. Charming! [Perez]
• Jane Fonda, 71, might marry 67-year-old Richard Perry next year, which would be her fourth wedding. [Daily Express]
• So many contradictory stories about MJ. We first heard that he was strong during rehearsals. This report claims: "Michael Jackson was so weak in his final days he needed to be SPOON-FED meals, his make-up artist has revealed." [The Sun]
• "Michael Jackson's body has been moved in secret to a new crypt, where it's been frozen." [Daily Express]
• This report claims that Michael Jackson will be buried on what would have been his 51st birthday, August 29. Or so says Joe Jackson. [Gatecrasher]
• You know how Michael Phelps was in a car accident last week? Turns out he was driving with an expired license and told cops he had a beer about an hour before the crash. [TMZ]
• George Michael on his car smashup: "Neither of us was charged because we were both stone cold sober. We both think the other is to blame so this is just an insurance fight." [E!]
• Eva Longoria is expanding her restaurant business, and soon she'll have a Beso Vegas and "Besitos" in ariports. [People]
• Kristin Bauer, who plays Pam on True Blood, thinks Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer will have kids together since Anna is "great" with Stephen's kids from previous relationships. [E!]
• Tons of Gossip Girl spoilers at the link, and yes, there are details on Chuck and Blair — with a HOT picture of the Bass. [People]
• Matthew Settle — Gossip Girl's Rufus — skateboards through New York during rush hour. [NY Times]
• Actress Aishwarya Rai has a chest infection with flu-like symptoms. [Times Of India]
• Anna Friel will play Holly Golightly in an upcoming stage production of Breakfast At Tiffany's in London. [Times Of London]
• The Office's Amy Ryan — who plays Holly Flax — is pregnant. [E!]
• An excerpt of Alana Stewart's book, My Journey With Farrah: A Story Of Life, Love And Friendship, at the link. [Daily Mail]
• Bananarama's back. [Daily Mail]
• Aberdeen, Washington has the title of one hometown hero Kurt Cobain's songs, "Come As You Are," posted at the entrance of town. An unofficial park has been established next to the bridge under which Cobain hung out and wrote songs. [LA Times]
• Blind item! "Which D-list relationship recently ended when the gal found out her man's secret vice was boy-on-boy action?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I can't tell you how far from a gold-digger I am. I've never dated a rich man in my life. I've always wondered how girl friends of mine could even ask their boyfriends to buy them clothes." — Samantha Burke, who was impregnated by Jude Law. [Daily Mail]
• "I thought it was an incredibly sexual role and a challenge to be an 'older woman' in the film. Roles always challenge me in some personal way and that was one I wanted to overcome: 'Wow, all of a sudden, you've become the "Older Woman" in a movie. Let's give the younger ones a run for their money.'" — Anne Heche on playing opposite Ashton Kutcher in Spread. [LA Times]
• "This season, I really want to get back to the guerilla style I used to have. I want to try to get back to my roots and make it crazy. In the first episode, I get buried alive in a coffin, six feet under 5,000 pounds of snow. I want people to realize I'm not complacent because I have a little bit of success and a little money. Hopefully in return I can raise the level of the art form to the level other art forms receive, like the cinema.… I just really loved the ability as a kid to do something that adults didn't understand. It was like power. Then I realized as a teenager that there was more to the art of magic than how you did it. It's trying to connect to somebody." — Criss Angel, whose Mindfreak is back on A&E for its 5th season. [LA Times]
• "I like everything about filming except the acting. In recent years I've had really bad attacks where I totally froze up. I thought 'Well, if I am going to get stage fright, then I am packing it in.'" — Hugh Grant. [Daily Mail]
• "I think anybody that's touring is going to have a carbon footprint. I think it's probably unfair to single out rock 'n' roll. There's many other things that are in the same category but as it happens we have a program to offset whatever carbon footprint we have." — The Edge, annoyed by critics of U2's travel. [Daily Express]
• "The Harry Potter books are not explicitly religious in the way that C.S. Lewis's Narnia tales are, but there is a strong sense of evil, and issues of good and evil are not only philosophical issues but also theological issues." —University of Massachusetts-Amherst philosophy professor Gareth B. Matthews. [UPI]
• "I think when I started I was working in the vein of The Dirty Dozen or The Devil's Brigade. But now watching the completed film with audiences, I don't think there has ever been a World War II movie like it. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your taste, but it's definitely a thing." — Quentin Tarantino on Inglourious Basterds. [WSJ]
• "Don Cheadle could play me, but I hope they just go with the obvious casting choice." — Richard Belzer, when asked who would play Richard Belzer if his crime novel about a a New York City police detective named Richard Belzer were made into a TV show. [Publishers Weekly]
• "I've had my heart broken before. Truly, truly broken. But when I look back at me in my heartbroken phase, it's pretty hilarious, because it felt so much more extreme than it really was. One of the things I love about (500) Days of Summer is that it doesn't make light of what we go through in romances, but it is honest about it and shows it for what it is, which is often profoundly funny." — Joseph Gordon-Levitt. [Guardian]
• "The speed of news creates so much vertigo. I am a very private person." — Penelope Cruz. [Telegraph]
• "We kind of rolled our eyes at the idea of having to make out." — Amanda Seyfried on her Jennifer's Body girl-on-girl scene with Megan Fox. [Page Six via Entertainment Weekly]
• "I remember really vividly kneeling by my bed as a nine-year-old, saying my prayers and asking God to give me boobs that were so big that if I laid on my back I wouldn't be able to see my feet. Eventually that request was granted. A bit of divine intervention displays the power of prayer. Every time before I go on stage, or go out where I know there will be a lot of press, I take a skipping rope and spend about ten minutes, fully clothed, skipping. I look like Rocky. This way I can ensure that everything is firmly in place and I won't have a wardrobe malfunction. Don't want those boulders doing a show of their own." — Katy Perry. [The Sun]

• George Michael was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence yesterday after driving his car into the side of a truck. According to a police spokeswoman, he was "later released without charge" after five hours in police custody. [E!]

• Michael seemed "seemed completely disorientated, like he had no idea what was going on," says Laurie Rowe, the driver of the truck Michael hit, "He looked totally dazed and even tried to climb into the cab of my lorry. He kept saying he was worried he would go to jail." Luckily, both drivers were able to walk away from the crash. [DailyMail]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin were spotted together yesterday, along with their children, just a day after the couple had a "blowout" fight over Jon's babysitter choices that resulted in Kate being removed from the family's home by the police. [USMagazine]
• Meanwhile, Hailey Glassman says Jon Gosselin is her "first love" and that she's not in it for the publicity: "I'm not some famewhore," she says, "I've been in hiding for three months. Do I choose my life or do I choose Jon? I stay in my house with my parents where I feel safe. Take my 15 minutes, you can have it back. Please take it back!" [USWeekly]
• Jerry Seinfeld will be the first guest on Jay Leno's new show. [Reuters]
• Robert Pattinson is reportedly "comforting" Camilla Belle after her breakup with Joe Jonas. "They've been on the phone every night," says a source, "They sit and talk for hours on end, just making each other laugh. He also sends her sweet little text messages throughout the day." [ShowbizSpy]
• An arrest warrant has been issued for Bobby Brown, who allegedly has failed to pay child support for two of his children. [Reuters]
• Mila Kunis has happy memories of her former That 70's Show male costars: "[Ashton] Kutcher used to help me with my science homework. Wilmer [Valderrama] taught me to drive. Topher [Grace] talked about movies all the time. And Danny [Masterson] took me to my first club and bought me my first drink. He was my prom date, too." [PageSix]
• Brad Pitt says he quit smoking pot once he became a dad: "I certainly had my day. Now it kind of turns me into a doughnut," he says, "I'm a dad now. You want to be alert and my eyes used to glaze over when I did that." [DailyMail]
• Ugh: the crypt directly above Marilyn Monroe's is being auctioned off on Ebay by a widow who plans to move her husband's remains in order to "pay off the $1 million mortgage on her Beverly Hills home." [TheSun]
• Hugh Grant says he's considering retirement due to a severe case of stage fright: "In recent years, I've had really bad attacks, where I totally freeze up," he says, "I thought, 'Well, if I'm going to get stage fright, then I'm packing it in.'" [DailyExpress]
• Rachel McAdams ran into Antonio Sabato, Jr. on the set of Today, when both of them were promoting new projects, and was a bit starstruck. "Rachel was blushing and told Antonio she had the biggest crush on him in high school," says a source. Sabato returned the compliment by sending McAdams a bouquet of flowers. [PageSix]
• Charlize Theron hopes to have a big family someday: "I just know I'm going to have five boys." [TheSun]
• Cybill Shepherd says she left Elvis Presley after realizing that his drug addiction was out of control: "He said, 'Here, take these,' and he had pills in his hands and I said, 'Aren't you gonna take some of them?' and he said, 'Well, I've already had mine. He was almost already asleep and I went and flushed them down the toilet, returned his emerald and diamond ring and just said, 'Thankyou, but I can't.'" [DailyExpress]
• Lady Gaga gets fairly naked and kisses a woman in her new video. Apparently this is still considered "controversial." In 2009. [DailyMail]
• Hilary Duff has traveled to Bogota, Colombia, in order to distribute 3,000 backpacks filled with food to poor children via her Blessings in a Backpack program. [NYTimes]
• "If a girl wears a short skirt or dress, men automatically think, 'She wants it, and she's probably an animal in bed.' I just want to feel sexy today. I don't want you." -Amber Rose [PageSix]
• M.C. Hammer says he's planning a "companion" piece to Please, Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em. The album, called "Don't Hurt Em", will "capture again the very essence and vibes of 'Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em,' but updated with the sonic quality of today ... There'll be a lot of parallels between the two, but certainly it'll be very 2010." That's all well and good, but when are we going to get an Addams Family Groove remix!? [Reuters]

• Guess who is going to have to face her abuser and testify? Rihanna:

Prosecutors have subpoenaed the singer to appear in court in Chris Brown's assault case on June 22, and she is now legally required to answer questions about what happened. [People]

• Kanye West and Amber Rose may have broken up, but they are certainly still spending a lot of time together. Reunited and it feels so good? [Page Six]
• OMG: Judge Judy has beat Oprah as the highest rated show in daytime! It must have been the Comic Confrontations that pushed JJ over the edge. [Perez]
• After six months of bliss, Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt have split. [ET]
• This report claims that Paris dumped Doug, who later showed up at her house "distraught." [Perez]
• Paris Hilton's rep says they remain friends and please respect their privacy blah blah blah. We'll always have Cannes! [People]
• Britney Spears is gonna get $11,500 from ex-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib  to cover legal fees incurred by getting a restraining order against the photographer. [Radar Online]
• Meanwhile, Britney and K-Fed have reached a new custody agreement and Brit gets the kids more than 50% of the time while she is on tour. Progress! [TMZ]
• Click here for super-cute banter between Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock. Like this exchange on how fame changes you:
  Reynolds: Fame only amplifies a certain disposition.
  Bullock: I agree. Unless you're a child in the industry and that's all you know. That's a sad, sad thing.
  Reynolds: There's nothing worse than hearing a 6-year-old demand Voss water. I've seen it. [People]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Madonna will meet Jesus' family. And no, they are not named Mary and Joseph. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Speaking of all things holy, Madonna will hold two shows in Israel  September 1 and 2. [UPI]
• Katie Holmes has been attending dance studios in Hollywood lately. Why? She wants to make a special appearance on So You Think You Can Dance? [Perez]
• Hugh Hefner: "really happy" to learn that Kendra is pregnant. [People]
• Carrie Prejean claims that the Miss California USA people wanted her to do Playboy, but she wouldn't. They also wanted her to be on I'm A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here. Sigh. [TMZ]
• Contrary to the reports in all the weekly tabs, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz deny that their marriage is on the rocks. [Mirror]
• "Secrets" about the cast of Twilight include the fact that Kristen Stewart can play guitar, Robert Pattinson and Kristen have chemistry on screen and off, and Rob and Kristen both play guitar and sing. [People]
• Whoa, Joy Behar is getting her own show on HLN (formerly Headline News). It will aire at 9 p.m. and start in September, as a "topical and fun" talk show: "It's not going to be dry, I hope, because I'm crazy," Joy says. [NY Times]
• BMW: The exclusive sponsor of the season three premiere of Mad Men, which will be aired with limited commercial interruption. Exciting! Not that we can afford Beemers! But we can look at a picture of a cute one, and think about Don Draper. [Brandweek]
• Lost rumors: Someone who could be lying says Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) returns for 4 episodes, Clarie (Emily De Ravin [sic]) for full-season, Shannon (Maggie Grace) for 6 episodes. [Yahoo News Via E!]
• Matthew Fox on the Lost ending: "I think it is going to be very satisfying and cathartic and redemptive and beautiful. I've talked to [creator] Damon [Lindelof] pretty extensively and every time I talk to him it's sort of surprising how moving it is just to talk about it." [E!]
• Patricia Clarkson's flight from LAX to JFK got canceled and she promptly burst into tears. [Page Six]
• Oof: Hugh Grant kicked a paparazzo in the groin outside of restaurant in NYC Tuesday. [Gatecrasher via TMZ]
• Jamie Foxx says that the first time he did his stand up act at the Apollo, as soon as the audience heard he was from L.A., they started booing. Foxx considers this his favorite memory of the theater, though, so, good for him. [AP]
• Oh lord. Jeremy Piven's mercury poisoning saga lives on: Producers from Speed-The-Plow will be in arbitration this week. [Gothamist]
• Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson met through a real estate agent. Now? A-Rod is smitten: "He is so into her and doesn't even mind when his friends tease him about her." [Gatecrasher]
• Sophie Dahl is 5'11" and her fiancé Jamie Cullum is 5'4" and she says: "We happen to be two people who met, fell madly in love and will probably produce fairly average sized children, hopefully with his more elegant feet, not mine." And! "I find it weird [that people focus on our height difference] but when you're really happy you don't give a shit." [Daily Mail]
• Diane Lane will star in Secretariat, the Disney flick about the relationship between the 1973 Triple Crown-winning racehorse and his owner, Penny Chenery. [Variety]
• Blind item! "Which up-and-coming film star was smoking an alien substance out in the open at a recent NYC party?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q: What do you like most about your character? A: "There's nothing cool about her. It's fun to play someone who's well-intentioned but doesn't know the game. I enjoy competent but misguided characters. She's an open-faced sandwich, and because of that, she doesn't have anything savvy about her."  Amy Poehler, on Parks and Recreation. [Variety]
• "I am not one who has ever taken well to fame and what that attracts. It's a drag. I just wanted to be a songwriter and a singer. I did not bargain for all the rest of it."  Van Morrison says he would have abandoned his music career 40 years ago if one of his early albums had made him a superstar. [Reuters]
• "Wesley Snipes is a wonderful actor. Before the karate movies and stuff, when Wesley first got into the movies, he did drama and comedy. He's got all the talent. He does everything but he turned into the action dude. But James Brown isn't just singing and splits, you've got to chase the car and the crack heads. You've got to do the stunts. I'm too old to do the splits. They should make that movie with Wesley Snipes tomorrow."  Eddie Murphy may have played James Brown on SNL but wouldn't do it in a biopic. [Daily Express]
• "Being a 48-year-old rebel is not cool… I wouldn't describe myself as a shy person. I'm an introvert. I play extroverts on the screen, but I'm an introvert."  Eddie Murphy. [Mirror]
  
• "If I could interview Dolly every week, I would."  Morley Safer, 77, has no plans to retire from 60 Minutes and hearts Dolly Parton. And! He is not into bloggers: "I would trust a citizen journalist as much as I would trust a citizen surgeon." [Page Six]
• "I invented something that we tested out on-camera on Scientific American Frontiers. It was a device I had figured out to eliminate red-eye, if you attached it to any camera. So we made it, and it worked. I was really excited. It's the first time one of my inventions was tested and worked! I gave it to posterity, though."  Alan Alda, who loves science and has been the host of PBS series Scientific American Frontiers for the last decade. [NY Mag]
• "I talk to Lorne [Michaels] a lot, and he knows where my heart is. And he knows he's got a real hold on me. And he knows my weakness. I always tell him, 'I'm an addict. I'm an SNL addict.' And I will use again. Oh, I will."  Maya Rudolph, on returning to SNL for guest spots after leaving the show in 2007. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "The Obama administration came out and said the No. 1 chemical problem in the world is mercury…there will be a lot of documentaries coming out showing what happens when you have too much mercury in your system."  Jeremy Piven. [Page Six]
• "Poor Rob is already a Beatle. His whole life is documented. If he picks his nose, it's all over the Internet. He's just done for. I think he's kinda freakin' out, like, ‘What the fuck is going on?'"  Robert Pattinson's New Moon costar Ashley Greene. [MSNBC]
• "I'm always really worried about ruining their lives, especially with people that aren't famous. it's such a massive change. I'm kind of a paranoid wreck."  Robert Pattinson, on dating. [MSNBC]
• "It's very tempting to have a nanny and live in a gated community and have a chef – I'd love to have a few dinners cooked for me. But I don't want that for my children."  Kate Winslet doesn't need help, okay?!?! [Telegraph]
• "I love seeing my name on a woman's butt. Ladies, if you want to impress me when you meet me, I need to see my name on your right cheek. Girls have had tattoos of my face. One girl went and got her ass tattooed on her right arm… It's important to keep things tasteful."  Tyrese, whom I have interviewed and found to be as charming as this quote. [Page Six]

• Catholics in Poland are urging the government there to cancel Madonna's August 15 concert, saying…

The pop star "cannot sing on the religious feast of the Blessed Virgin Mary." But everybody knows she cannot sing on the other 364 days of the year either. [UPI]

• Danny DeVito: drunk in the morning again. He was being interviewed live at 8 AM on Tuesday for a local news show while on the set of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Drunk while filming a comedy show? He's ruining feminism. [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson may have messed up the Jackson family reunion concert that was in the works by allegedly breaching the contract his manager signed with an entertainment company who is suing Jackson for $40 million. So far, the rest of the family are keeping their noses out of the mess. [TMZ, USA Today]
• But Jacko can still moonwalk…or so he says…through a hospital mask. [TMZ]
• Ed McMahon has seemingly lost his battle to save his home from foreclosure. His house will be auctioned off by the bank in late June. [Radar]
• Kendra Wilkinson is pregnant and her former-Girls Next Door co-star Bridget Marquardt is throwing the baby shower. Judging from the housewarming present she gave Kendra, we can't wait to see what the layette set will have printed on it. [Us]
• Chris Brown's lawyer went to the California appeals court today to ask that his trialfor the alleged assault of Rihannabe delayed. The judge denied the request, and the trial is still set for June 22. [TMZ]
• Life-size cardboard cutouts of Brad Pitt dressed as police officer have been placed by the most dangerous intersections in the city of Omsk, as a way to handle Siberia's speeding problem. According to Omsk officials, it's working. [Mirror]
• Myleene Klass, one of the hosts of I'm a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! had to be rescued by Costa Rican hotel staff after she accidentally glued herself to the bed. [ONTD]
• Phil Spector's infamous large court hair was a wig!? He's bald in this mugshot, taken last week. [TSG]
• Shia LaBeouf gets his sense of humor where most people get their nightmares: From seeing his parents have sex. [Just Jared]
• Even more nightmare material: When Shia was 2 his dad would dress him up as a clown and make him walk around the neighborhood. How is this guy not a serial killer? [Parade]
• Shanna Moakler wants her job back as pageant director for Miss California USA now that proponent of opposite marriage Carrie Prejean got the boot. [TMZ]
• Hank Azaria and his girlfriend had a baby boy over the weekend. [People]
• "Obsessed" will be the first single released (on June 16) from Mariah Carey's new albumawesomely titledMemoirs of an Imperfect Angel. [Rolling Stone]
• Mel Gibson and his soon-to-be-ex-wife Robyn have filed a joint request in court to keep the financial details of their divorce private. [TMZ]
• Michael Lohan is off the hook for that misdemeanor charge of aggravated harassment. [Yahoo]
• Sonja Norwood (aka the mother of Brandy and Ray J) filed a lawsuit against Kim Kardashian for allegedly using the Norwood family's credit card without permission when Kim was hired as Brandy's stylist. The lawsuit was dismissed. [People]
• Beyoncé in post-apocalyptic armor singing "If I Were a Boy" duet-style with George Michael goes from Beyond Thunderdome to beyond gay. It's hard to wrap one's head around this gender fuck, no matter how much weave is available. [WoW]
• Breaking: Nancy Pelosi and Owen Wilson had dinner at the D.C. restaurant Cafe Milano…at different tables. They didn't talk to each other or anything. [Politico]
• Bai Ling will play a hooker in Love Rancha film about the first legal brothel in Nevada, starring Helen Mirrendespite the fact the that she had her back to the camera during her screen test because she was in a "bad mood." [Daily Express]
• Keira Knightley and Colin Farrell have signed on to star in London Boulevard, the directorial debut of Oscar-winning screenwriter William Monahan. [THR]
• A Broadway revival of Babes in Arms is in the works, with Rosie O'Donnell as the star. [UPI]
• Sherri Shepherd is all pissed off that she can't eat the skin on a chicken leg, per her nutritionist's orders. She's trying to get a "bathing suit body" to reveal on The View by August 6. She's lost four pounds so far. [People]
• Hugh Grant tried to kick a paparazzo in the balls. The photog sold the footage, of course. [TMZ]
• Matthew McConaughey swears his bachelor days are over now that he has a child with his girlfriend. He referred to his family as a "tribe," so we're thinking that his naked-bongo days are still going strong. [Daily Express]
• Monica Seles is dating a cranky old billionaire30 years her seniorwho doesn't like paying taxes. [Wonkette]
• The record-breaking ratings of the premiere of Edie Falco's Nurse Jackie Monday night were so impressive that Showtime has already ordered a second season. [Women and Hollywood]
• Blind Item: "Which top-selling artist purportedly had his new single cut from some radio stations playlists in retaliation for supporting royalties for musicians?" (The article goes on to say that it's probably Bono.) [USA Today]
• Bono and The Edge wrote the music and lyrics for the Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark, and Bono likens himself to a superhero, natch. [Rolling Stone]
• "Mommy breastfed all three of you. You guys took all my milk, so now mommy's just getting the milk put back inside." Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa Giudice's explanation to her daughters about her new buh-bees. Don't go putting silicone in your coffee, girls! [People]
• "I went through this stage where I would just go out, not be responsible, not focus on work or class, and my management was like, 'Listen, you could go either way. You could be this person - I won't name names - a reality show actress. Or you could go this way - award-winning actress.' That was a real shock." - Twilight's Ashley Greene doesn't want to be like Paris Hilton. [Nylon]
• "So many means of expression are being explored in TV through women who are fully mature, in the prime of their lives, feeling experienced and able to express who they are. We're not 21. It's really exciting, in that these opportunities are kind of unprecedented. Glenn Close, Kyra Sedgwick, Mary McCormick, Mary Louise Parker, a show like United States of Tarawomen are exploring all kinds of new aspects of themselves." - Holly Hunter [HuffPo]
• "I like when she demonstrates how to transport a potted plant while wearing Hermes pants and uses enough packing material to move a whole house. But we're just moving one plant. Really you just put the plant in a truck and go." - Alexis Stewart on her mom Martha. [AP]
• "I probably won't watch [The Hills]. I'm not a huge TV person." - author Lauren Conrad. [E!]

• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's former bodyguard Mickey Brett might pen a tell-all or sell a TV show based on his life working for the A-list couple.

The thing is, how juicy can it possibly be? We're not talking Courtney Love-style antics with those two; it's probably like, strollers, diapers, sex, travel, diapers, diapers, sex, movie set, diapers, diapers diapers. (Sex!) [MSNBC]

• Angelina and Brad's "hot shot" attorney, Marty Singer, is calling the bodyguard a "pathological liar." [LA Times]
• As part of the trial, the court has learned that Tyra's stalker slipped into her TV studio asking to see his "very good friend." [NY Daily News]
• Parts of Heidi and Spencer's wedding had to be retaped after a generator went out in the church. Romantic! [Page Six]
• Chris Noth has indeed signed on for Sex And The City 2 Electric Boogaloo or Sex And The City 2 The Streets or whatever but Sarah Jessica Parker says she doesn't know if Carrie and Big will have kids. She also has no "clue" whether Dancing With The Stars phenom Gilles Marini will be in the sequel but my Magic 8 Ball says: Duh. [E!]
• Marc Jacobs is helping Madonna and Jesus Luz stay together! A source spills: "[Marc] wrote a letter of support for Jesus' work permit. Marc campaigned for Jesus, saying he is highly talented and a necessity to the label." Also, this report calls Madge a " well-connected cougar." Let's all get reductive! [MSNBC]
• Sniffle! According to this source, when Jesus Luz walked in a recent fashion show, "None of the other models would talk to Jesus or even look at him. They were gossiping like catty girls about how they couldn't wait for his career to fizzle out." Then they wouldn't let him play any reindeer games. [Gatecrasher]
• Casey Aldridge has been hospitalized since Sunday when he flippped his pickup truck and suffered a head injury; he will be moved from the ICU on Monday. [People]
• Rihanna is in Barbados with a "Chris Brown lookalike," which basically means the guy is black. [Daily Mail]
• "I try to be a friend for Miley," Billy Ray Cyrus says. "I know that's not everyone's parenting style… A friend, partner as an actor, a singer, songwriter and let her be a teenage girl and do her thing." Is that why you guys have matching highlights? [MSNBC]
• Uh, what? Susan Boyle has issued an ultimatum to Simon Cowell: "Let me sing or I'll quit the show." Apparently she is miffed that she has to wait five weeks before her next appearance on Britain's Got Talent. [Daily Express, The Sun]
• There are several horrifying things about this story involving Michael Jackson and his kids shopping at the Ed Hardy store in L.A.: First, the children are wearing school uniforms and feathered masquerade masks; second, MJ is wearing a fedora, headscarf, surgical mask and hideous green blazer; third, Michael Jackson's PANTS are BEYOND FUG. [Daily Mail]
• Robert Pattinson will star in a romantic drama called Remember Me, the story of a young couple whose relationship is complicated by a series of family tragedies. He'll be shooting in New York, so get ready to stalk the sparkly vampire in the gritty city. The leading lady role has not yet been cast: Who do you think it should be? [Mirror]
• In this video, Lost's Evangeline Lily talks about Jack and Sawyer. Uh, Matthew Fox and Josh Holloway. Anyway there's a nanosecond in which Sawyer has his shirt off and he is kissing Kate so click for that. [Breitbart]
• Snoop Dogg was in court yesterday, denying that he hit a dude with a brass-knuckle microphone. The guy in question has testified that he woke up backstage, naked and in a pool of blood; Snoop's position on this is that the man ran up on stage and security intervened, thinking Snoop was being attacked. [AP]
• "Intimate" pictures of Carla Bruni and an ex-lover were stolen during a burglary in Paris and apparently the "thieves appeared to know exactly what they were looking for." [Daily Mail]
• Here's a "cute" story about Justin Timberlake pressuring Jessica Biel to get wasted: "Everyone was doing shots of tequila, but Jess said she didn't want to drink anymore. Justin good-naturedly insisted, so she pulled her hair back and drank up!" [Gatecrasher]
• For $40, superfans can take a Gossip Girl bus tour of New York, and see the locations which serve as the homes and school of the characters. Just remember, only plebes take the bus. [Gothamist]
• Renée Zellweger turned 40 and Dan Abrams, Hugh Grant, Bradley Cooper, Neil Patrick Harris, Madonna, Kelly Ripa and Harry Connick Jr. were among the revelers. [Page Six]
• That dude Marilyn is still telling anyone who will listen that he was in a relationship with Gavin Rossdale in the '80s. [Daily Express]
• Pharrell Williams has been getting laser removal of his tattoos, which looks traumatizing, and now he's wearing a sling he made from a Burberry scarf. Ink removal must be really really really painful. [The Life Files, The Life Files]
• Something something financial crisis something something Aussie bank ANZ something something spent $1 million bringing Paris and Nicky Hilton to Australia for a New Year's Eve party in Sydney. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Shirley Jones, the mom on The Partridge Family, will be topless on an upcoming episode of A&E's The Cleaner. This report snipes, "We hope with her back to the camera." [Page Six]
• Edie Falco says she would gladly do a Sopranos flick: "I don't actually see it happening, but I've been surprised before." [E!]
• The Daily Fail asked Joan Collins how she would makeover Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, and Joan was delighted and thorough: "Camilla should invest in a one-piece bodysuit that hugs her figure and pulls her in at the waist. And shoulder pads are excellent for improving shape. […] A richer, honey-blonde shade, with paler highlights at the front and sides, would bring light to her face. […] Finally, Camilla's mouth is crying out for a strong-coloured lipstick." [Daily Mail]
• Don Johnson will play a "mustachioed porn director" in Born To Be A Star, the porn-themed Adam Sandler comedy. The plot? A small-town nerd learns his quiet and demure parents were famous porn stars in the 70s, and this inspires him to head for Hollywood and fullfill his destiny banging on camera. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Amanda Peet has joined the cast of Gulliver's Travels, which stars Jack Black. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Dynasty star Linda Evans is the winner of the UK's Hell's Kitchen 2009. [Daily Mail]
• A lady is suing Wolfgang Puck due to a terrible incident which occurred in the bathroom of his Beverly Hills restaurant Spago, which I'd prefer not to get into so early in the day. [TMZ]
• Blind item! "Which Oscar winner's girlfriend won't let him get to third base? She's afraid of STDs." [Gatecrasher]
• "They tried to arrest me in Russia, for leather at St. Basil's. But all is calm in the red square, as I leave the east Parisbound."  Lady GaGa. [Perez]
• "I've actually broken up with boyfriends for inspiration. When I hit a period of not being able to write music, I get up and walk away. It's pretty mean but it's true."  Lily Allen. [Daily Express]
• "I've had to end good relationships, and I know how we talked about them, and tried to be nice and everything, but I think ... maybe that bruised a little bit more on the other side than I noticed, or than it did me. Because when you flip it over, I know there were times when I was the dumpee or whatever, and I was like, 'No way am I showing her how much this is hurtin.'"  Matthew McConaughey. [USA Today]
• "Steve-O was scared and nervous, we needed to take him to the mental ward  I instructed the guys that if he doesn't want to go, knock him out, but he went and he's actually doing really good now. He's in so much a better place now and I'm really proud of him."  Johnny Knoxville. [The Star]
• "It's true that I've never had a burning desire to rebel against my parents. But in other respects I think I have rebelled. I mean, I rebelled against my record label when they wanted to shelve me, and I've rebelled against people trying to push me around in the recording studio. To me, that's always been much more exciting than going out and getting drunk. I remember at high school trying to cheer up my girlfriends who were crying in the bathroom after some party when they couldn't remember who they'd made out with the night before. You see, I don't ever want to be that girl in the bathroom crying."  Taylor Swift. [Telegraph]
• "We try to protect ourselves from being fully in love and fully open and fully vulnerable, and really all we're doing is protecting ourselves from love and real love and the opportunity to really learn and grow with another person, so it's actually really detrimental, and you think it's helping." - Pink. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "The Type A thing is a big misunderstanding. It's funny to me that I have been portrayed as a closed-off, uptight person. I'm very open. Type A is my blood type."  Reese Witherspoon. [Elle UK]

[New York, April 3. Image via Splash.]

[New York, March 24. Image via x17.]

• Rihanna's maybe moving on! But: She was seen getting cozy with Wilmer Valderrama. Isn't that dude bad news bears? He's been linked to Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Ashlee Simpson, Mandy Moore… [Mirror]

• So you know how Lindsay Lohan has a new Maserati? It's already been in a minor car accident. LL wasn't driving  her assistant hit a Subaru in front of them. [Just Jared]
• Is Angelina Jolie on a "crazy" diet called liquid detox? [The Sun]
• WTF: Nadya Suleman has fired the nurse-nannies from Angels in Waiting! She felt she was being judged or something? How the heck is she going to take care of 14 kids by herself? Seriously? [E!]
• Did Jennifer Aniston dump John Mayer over his Twitter obsession? [Daily Mail]
• This one time, Mary-Kate Olsen was driven off the road by the paparazi. "It was never written about,"she says. [Just Jared]
• Designer Rachel Roy has filed for divorce from hip-hop mogul Damon Dash. He co-founded Rocawear but has since been struggling with debt and bad business deals; she has her own line of women's clothing. They have two kids. This should be interesting. [NY Daily News]
• Jesus Luz says he did not cheat on Madonna with some random woman in Brazil: "The press created this story." Welcome to fame! [The Sun]
• Uh-oh: "Madonna's fling with Jesus Luz and her rumored hookup with A-rod may foil adoption plans." An official from Malawi's Ministry of Child Welfare says: "Our official policy is that we do not encourage our children to be sent into broken homes." [NY Daily News]
• Um, this report claims that Jesus wants to adopt a kid with Madonna. Grain of salt. [ONTD]
• Angelina Jolie's mother owes $60,000 in back taxes, despite having passed away in 2007. How do you fix that? [TMZ]
• Diablo Cody and her homies all wear matching necklaces which read "Fuck My Face." Heart-warming! [NY Mag]
• Here is a photograph of Amy Winehouse climbing over a spiked fence and being compared to Sideshow Bob. [Daily Mail]
• Lindsay Lohan's former roommate and Tila Tequila's ex-girlfriend Courtenay Semel has checked into rehab. [Page Six]
• Someone blogging as Leighton Meester but decidedly not Leighton Meester likes poetry, goes to a shrink and complains about the paparazzi. [NY Observer]
• Nicole Richie channels Lady Gaga in her pix for BlackBook. [Just Jared]
• Cindy Crawford is naked in the April issue of Allure, with some strategically placed soap bubbles. [The Superficial]
• Jessica "Slimpson"'s body "has now fully returned to its former glory" so you can all relax. [The Sun]
• Geri Halliwell is on a "man-ban." [The Star]
• Another day, another story about Hugh Grant making out with two women at the same time. In public. [Page Six]
• Kim Kardashian couldn't pronounce "philanthropic" at a charity event, and people laughed at her. Tragic! [Gatecrasher]
• Is Fergie heading to Washington to play a private concert for Sasha and Malia Obama? Is this why she is brunette now? Will she teach them to spell duchess with a T? [Gatecrasher]
• Coldplay's Chris Martin met kiddie band The Wiggles, got super psyched and them covered their song, "Fruit Salad." So punk rock. [The Sun]
• Chris Martin can't get Michael Jackson tickets! [Mirror]
• Maybe Chris Martin should bid on this Michael Jackson stuff up for auction? A Swarovski crystal-encrusted white glove could go for a mere $15,000. [NY Daily News]
• Speaking of Michael Jackson, he's invited the stars of Harry Potter to be All-Access guests opening night of his sold-out UK shows. Naturally. [The Sun]
• Anne Hathaway will play Judy Garland in an upcoming film and theater productions of Get Happy: The Life Of Judy Garland. Question is: Will she sing or lip sync? [E!]
• People. For the last time. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are not a couple in real life. Quit asking. Sheesh. [E!]
• But hey! Meet the New Moon wolf pack! Cute teenage Native American actors! [Socialite Life]
• Amanda Seyfried has pulled out of Zack Snyder's film Sucker Punch  described as Alice in Wonderland with machine guns  due to scheduling conflicts. Who should play Baby Doll, the girl in a mental institution in this big-budget action flick? [ONTD via Slashfilm via EW]
• "Syfy" is not a new kind of hip hop from the West coast but what the Sci-Fi Channel is calling itself now. It's also Polish slang for syphilis, so people aren't kidding when they say, "Sick name." [Jossip]
• Denise Richards went to see Charlie Sheen's new twins: "They're amazing." Isn't it nice when everyone gets along? [ET]
• Ooh, recession humor: Amanda Bynes has just signed to an ABC pilot called Canned, a show about a group of friends who are all fired on the same day. [ET]
• Kiefer Sutherland has signed on to play Jack Bauer for an eight season of 24. [Mirror]
• Anna Faris is on the new cover of Self magazine; cover also shills "1 minute abs." Huh? [Just Jared]
• Chelsea Handler's last night show has been extended through 2012. Bring back Russell Brand! [Reuters]
• Oh no: Problems with NBC's Parks & Recreation? Test audiences found it "unoriginal" and "too slow." [Deadline Hollywood]
• Kenny Rogers music helps stroke victims. [Wired]
• This article about Angela Lansbury contains the following sentence: "Ms. Lansbury, who describes herself as a homebody and a working actress, is described by pretty much everyone else as a 'living legend,' a phrase that makes her want to vomit 'a little,' she conceded." [WSJ]
• Blind item! "Which TV heartthrob had to wait until a young starlet's mom walked away before he could hit on her at a party?" [Gatecrasher]
• "This movie was never meant to be the end of Hannah Montana. The thing is, a lot of people put where the show's future lays in my hands  and it's not up to me. It's up to Disney and whether they want more episodes, and we hope that they do."  Miley Cyrus. [Yahoo via Billboard]
• "I had avoided getting married pretty good for, like, 23 years, and I ... secretly felt that men who were married admired me, like I was the last of the real gunslingers."  David Letterman. [People]

• "Life poet" Joaquin Phoenix on his rap career:

"I want it to be big. Not big like popular. I want it to really try and be, for me, the culmination of my life thus far. I realize it's going to be for public consumption, so there are songs that are about - there are dance songs. Most of it, I think, is an internal exploration." Like a rectal exam? [USA Today]

• James Gray, the director of Joaquin's latest film, Two Lovers, says of JP's hip-hop thing: "If it's an act, it's the most committed act I've ever seen in my life. I mean, he built a studio [in his house]." ABC News]
• If you want to talk to Joaquin Phoenix, prepare to sign a release, because it's gonna be filmed for his documentary. [Gatecrasher]
• A Friday gift: Video of Clive Owen, talking about The International. Why is the way he says "shootout" so sexy? [WSJ]
• Madonna went on a date with Jesus Luz in New York last night; they dined at a steakhouse and talked about Kabbalah. [Daily Mail]
• Before "baby" Jesus left Brazil to hang out with her Madgesty, he had two different girlfriends. [Page Six]
• Nicole Kidman has donated £230,000 to help victims of the Australian bushfires. She says: "As Australians, I think the biggest thing is that, no matter where you are in the world, we support each other and we rally." [The Sun]
• This report says that teen fashion designer Kira Plastinina may have been the cause of the Chris Brown/Rihanna fight. [Extra]
• Chris Brown has left Las Vegas and is on his way to meet his mom; she lives in Virginia but it's unclear if he is headed there or if they are meeting somewhere else. [E!]
• Reports persist that Chris and Rihanna's right started with a text from another woman; Leona Lewis, Paris Hilton and Keisha Chanté were all suspected of flirting with Chris, but all deny it. [E!]
• Roger Friedman from Fox seems to think Paris Hilton is involved. [Fox 411]
• When Rihanna wore an eyepatch in concert last year, was it because Chris Brown had injured her eye? [The Sun]
• Chris Brown is seeking a "crisis-management expert." [EW]
• Oh no: Details of how the surgery of Tameka Foster Raymond  Usher's wife  went terribly wrong: She went to Brazil to get lipo and right after she went under general anesthesia, she suffered cardiac arrest. Of course, Usher's rep issued a statement on February 8 which read: "Tameka Raymond is in stable condition after suffering complications from routine surgery in Brazil." Bold ours, obviously. This may be a case of surgery too soon after childbirth: Their second son is two months old. [People]
• Speaking of surgery, a doctor who does not treat him says Michael Jackson's nose "will collapse" after a staph infection he may have contracted after a nose job. [The Sun]
• Grey's Anatomy creator Shonda Rhimes heard that T.R. Knight and Katherine Heigl were leaving Grey's Anatomy and says: "That was a very interesting rumor. And it's not true." [People]
• Boooo: Victoria Beckham was considered to be a judge on American Idol, but she was too busy. Wouldn't you love to see Posh take on the wacky kids? [Mirror]
• Dina Lohan owes $11,485.74 in taxes on her Long Island home, and today is the deadline to pay. [TMZ]
• Oscar-nominated film-maker Stephen Daldry is pondering a remake of My Fair Lady, with Keira Knightley as Eliza Doolittle. Asks this reporter, Wouldn't it be luvverly? [Daily Mail]
• Who will score an interview with post-bong-pic Michael Phelps? [Page Six]
• Even though Hugh Grant is supposed to be with Jemima Khan, he was seen making out with two women in New York Tuesday night. [Gatecrasher]
• Monday night, Hugh Grant made out with Drew Barrymore. [Page Six]
• Sienna Miller is ShoWest 2009's supporting actress of the year. This summer she'll be in the giant GI Joe flick. [Hollywood Reporter]
• News you can't use: Kimora Lee Simmons prepared for Valentine's Day by getting her armpit hair lasered off. [Page Six]
• Eminem's new track, "Crack A Bottle," featuring Dr. Dre and 50 Cent, set a new first-week record for download sales. [Reuters]
• What is going on over at Desperate Housewives? Eva Longoria and Teri Hatcher are going to kiss in an upcoming episode? Sounds like a desperate reach for ratings. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Did anyone know that Jennifer Hudson's fiancé is training with hopes to be a WWE wrestler? [Perez]
• Mira Sorvino is pregnant with baby number 3. [ET]
• Did Michael Stipe and his entourage once visit Mario Batali's restaurant after the kitchen was closed and keep the place open, ringing up a tab of $5,000? And then not tip or say thank you?!?!?! [Perez]
• Some dude bought a Blackberry on eBay and it had phone numbers for Jude Law, Natalie Portman and Kevin Spacey programmed into it, among others. [Telegraph]
• Kevin Costner's wife Christine gave birth to a baby boy, Hayes Logan Costner, on Thursday night. They have another son named Cayden who is almost 2. [ET]
• Living legend Jane Birkin has a new album, and she wrote all of the songs herself. You may know her as Serge Gainsbourg's love interest, as Charlotte Gainsbourg's mom, or as the inspiration for the Birkin bag. [Dazed Digital]
• The band Yes has canceled concert dates due to "unforeseen" medical reasons. [AP]
• Blind item: "Which disturbed loser is more of a cad than we thought? He's spilling the beans about his former flame's kinky sex habits to anyone who'll listen." [Gatecrasher]
• "[I wanted] to be named New York senator. I can't believe Paterson didn't ask. I even had a slogan: 'Make the switch, vote for the bitch.'"  Joy Behar. [Gatecrasher]
• "I realized partying is not what I am anymore."  Tara Reid, on her new sober life. [Daily Express]
• "I adored him, and I felt adored by him... he said to be a good parent, you never say no."  Emily Mortimer, on her father, who died in January. He was an author and created of a popular UK TV series. [Daily Mail]
• "It's one of those vampire movies. It's very funny. It's me with the beard."  Salma Hayek on her facial hair in her new flick, Cirque du Freak. [USA Today]
• "Toward the end of the shoot, he kept saying 'Oh I'm so tired, I'm so tired.' You hear that kind of thing and you think it's a joke. I just ignored it. I drove up to his house because his phone was disconnected. He said, 'I don't want to act anymore, I've been doing it for 30 years and if you did something for 30 years, you'd want to quit too.' That rap thing ... in the movie actually comes from something I played for him. I had an obsession with doing that sort of thing as a teenager. ... It turns out that Joaquin is imitating me in a lot of the movie. He said, 'I want to do that, I want to steal from that, I want to do the rap that you used to do.' I said, 'OK.' And now I'm seeing him do this thing, and I feel like I've ruined Joaquin Phoenix for the world. I don't want to be the guy that destroyed Joaquin Phoenix's acting career."  James Gray, the director of Two Lovers. [ABC News]
• "You drop some weight just by running after them."  Naomi Watts on her "body after baby." [People]
• "I'm 43 years old and I haven't ever really had a good relationship."  Moby. [NY Mag]
• "Seal always puts a smile on my face. We make each other laugh all the time. Laughing is good. I understand that life is not always just a smile all the time. But when you're facing problems, it doesn't make it better if you're kind of miserable. I always try to have a positive feeling. Every morning when I get up, I'm happy to be here. Even when I'm tired because the kids have been crying in the night, they come in and want mama and crawl into my bed. They look at you and they have that smile on their faces and life is good."  Heidi Klum. [The Star]
• "The pageantry of getting your hair curled and then all these beautiful clothes put on you  it was totally different. It was an escape. In Hollywood, you feel a responsibility to look less disheveled than you are. But I'm a mom and I'm not good at putting time into prepping. I tell my girlfriends  imagine if all the time you put into waxing and primping, you took all of that energy and put it into something useful."  Isla Fisher, on getting styled for Confessions Of A Shopaholic. [WSJ]

• Instead of appearing at the Grammy Awards, Chris Brown - seen at left with Rihanna at a pre-Grammy party - was arrested for a felony battery.

He surrendered to the LAPD and then posted $50,000 bail. An "unidentified woman" who appeared to have been beaten identified Brown as her attacker. Rihanna did not show up at the Grammys either. [EW, Rolling Stone, People,TMZ]

• Sources say Rihanna's face is "slightly bruised." [ET]
• This report says Rihanna had "multiple bruises" and was in the hospital but has been released. [NY Daily News]
• Cops say that Chris Brown and "the woman" they are not identifying were arguing inside a vehicle after midnight on Saturday; they received a 911 call and when they arrived, they noticed that the woman had "visible injuries." Brown had left the scene by the time police arrived. [TMZ]
• The case is a felony and not a misdemeanor because of the visible injuries. [People]
• The argument took place in a rented Lamborghini after a pre-Grammy gala at the Beverly Hilton. [Fox 411]
• Rapper David Banner says: "One situation doesn't define a man and I really want American to stop doing that to people. As humans, none of us is perfect." Um, yeah, but. You don't hit women. [Rolling Stone]
• Apparently in 2007, Chris Brown told Giant magazine: "[My stepfather] used to hit my mom. He made me terrified all the time, terrified like I had to pee on myself. I remember one night he made her nose bleed. I was crying and thinking, 'I'm just gonna go crazy on him one day…' I hate him to this day." A family history of domestic violence? [Perez]
• Chris Brown's court date is March 5. [USA Today]
• Commenters on the EW boards claim Chris Brown hit Rihanna because he found out she gave him genital herpes, which she got from a backup dancer. Where are they getting their info? [EW]
• Oh, wait. From here. [All Hip-Hop]
• This blogger adds, "Why is all this foolishness taking place during Black History Month?" [All Hip-Hop]
• Meanwhile: Rihanna is looking for a bone marrow donor for a 5-year-old girl. [UPI]
• Uh-oh: Peaches Geldof and husband of six months, Max Drummey, have separated! To her credit, Peaches did say she didn't expect it to last forever. But maybe at least a year? [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse is heading back to the UK after a long vacation in the Caribbean. She plans to present her lawyers with a "secret ex-file," detailing Blake Incarcerated's bad behavior. Ugly divorce countdown starts now! [News Of The World]
• Is there tension in the Beckham marriage as Victoria heads to New York fashion week alone? She reportedly wants to stay in the U.S.: "She feels out of place in Milan and gets frustrated by not being able to understand what they are saying." [Daily Mail]
• Whitney Houston sang at Clive Davis's pre-Grammy bash and sounded "incredible," E!'s Marc Malkin says. "Was she back to the days when she was in top high-note-hitting form? No, but close." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Usher had to cancel his performance at a pre-Grammy party due to a "serious injury in the family"  apparently his wife Tameka experienced complications from plastic surgery in Brazil. Yikes! [TMZ, People]
• A neurosurgeon from LA's Cedars-Sinai Medical Center is headed to South America to check on Usher's wife. [Access Hollywood]
• Jennifer Aniston's 40th birthday party took place Saturday night at her house in Beverly Hills. Aniston and John Mayer "danced and huddled close all night," and guests included Oprah Winfrey, Sheryl Crow, David Arquette and wife Courteney Cox Arquette, Tobey Maguire and wife Jen Meyer, Laura Dern, Kevin Nealon, and Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. Aniston has some kind of pull in Hollywood: the police kicked all the paparazzi out of the neighborhood! [Yahoo News via E!]
• Lindsay Lohan was seen hanging out at a table behind Sam Ronson's DJ booth; while Sam worked, LL was drinking from bottles stashed under the table. LL would flirt with guys but bitch out any woman who came close. This report notes that LL looked "grossly skinny." [E!]
• Director McG says of Christian Bale's "blowup": "The film set is a passionate place, and it happens… It was just one of those moments. I think I can speak on all of our behalf that we've all gotten a little fired up. And if anybody would take that moment and take it out of context, it would seem very, very strange." [People]
• Beyoncé runs around two and-a-half miles every day and is "eating veg and drinking water" because her stylists  and her mom tell her when she's gained weight. As for the diet: "It's boring." [Mirror]
• Here's video of the Jessica Simpson performance in which "every song was a disaster" and she mumbled through the lyrics and talked through tears, if you really want to watch that kind of thing. [ONTD via TMZ]
• Since she is producing a teen TV show for Fox and has a movie in the works, Jennifer Lopez is "putting music on the back burner," which may be for the best. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Do we really believe that Leonardo DiCaprio wants girlfriend Bar Refaeli to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Issue because it will "piss off" Gisele Bundchen? [Page Six]
• Prince Harry and Paris Hilton were supposed to have a date? And the Prince canceled at the last minute? Did he come to his senses? Should we feel sorry for Paris? [Daily Mail]
• Eddie Murphy has been ordered to pay £35,000 a month until his daughter  whose mother is Mel B.  turns 18. That's a total of about £7million. Another Shrek sequel? Anyone? [Daily Mail]
• What's this? Emma Watson is nervous about kissing Rupert Grint, aka Ron Weasley, on screen? [Telegraph]
• Dave Grohl wore a white knot on the red carpet at the Grammys to show his support for gay marriage and marriage equality. Think we'll see 'em at the Oscars? [E!]
• A man was killed on Justin Timberlake's golf course in Tennessee Saturday in a freak accident involving a tree. [TMZ]
• Minutes into his act at a UK nightclub, rapper Coolio was pelted by plastic bottles and ice cubes. Coolio jumped into the crowd to fight some dudes but was dragged way by security. Not exactly a gangster's paradise… [The Sun]
• The new Dancing With The Stars cast has been revealed! Jewel and her husband, rodeo star Ty Murray, will compete against each other. The youngest contestant ever, 17-year-old Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson will dance; and so will Julianne Hough and boyfriend Chuck Wicks; Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff; Belinda Carlisle; Denise Richards, former NFL star Lawrence Taylor; Lil' Kim; Jackass star Steve-O; Apple computer co-founder Steve Wozniak; actors David Alan Grier and Gilles Marini; and Access Hollywood co-host Nancy O'Dell. [People]
• Remember when Natalie Portman rapped on Saturday Night Live? Uncensored audio can be found here [ONTD]
• Hugh Grant and ex Jemima Khan are so, so back on. [Telegraph]
• Welcome Charlie Axel into the world; he's the first son for Tiger Woods and wife Elin. [AP]
• A reporter calls The International, Tom Tykwer's film starring Clive Owen and Naomi Watts, a "strange and beautifully made thriller." Tykwer is best known for his 1998 flick, Run Lola Run. [Salon]
• Robbie Williams has been visiting weird websites, stuff like government paranoia and UFOs. [Daily Mail]
• Original Buffy The Vampire Slayer Kristy Swanson and ice skating champ Lloyd Eisler got married on Saturday. This story notes that Swanson "lost 45 lbs. in time for her wedding with the help of The Medifast Diet and regular exercise, including martial arts, skipping rope and treadmill work." [People]
• A tell-all book about Sean "Diddy Combs" by a former aspiring rapper is called Dancing With the Devil: How Puff Burned the Bad Boys of Hip-Hop. It's self-published, naturally. [Page Six]
• Are you ready for a Tricky comeback? [Independent]
• "Straying Alive! Married Bee Gee Robin Gibb has baby with live-in housekeeper 26 years his junior." [Daily Mail]
• "I want to keep learning, I have no ego. I'm blessed to be on one of the great shows. I made a statement last year that I was going to aggressively pursue my acting career… I want to do some television." - Sean "Diddy Combs on his CSI: Miami gig. [The Star]
• Paradise Beach had improbable plot-lines. We were always in bikinis, even at funerals. And someone who was my brother ended up being my father and I pulled him – it was just insane."  Isla Fisher on her soap opera past, to GQ. [Daily Express]
• "Besides being in love with him, I'm his biggest fan. I think my fiancé is hilarious."  Isla Fisher on Sacha Baron Cohen. [Mirror]
• "I've decided I am going to start loving my backside because I don't know anyone who does that. And for my daughter, I want to be able to say to her, 'I love this.' [Young women] look at all of us, myself included, on these magazine covers and they think, 'My God, how does she get skin like that?' And I can tell you, I have so many blemishes under this make-up that have been so fabulously covered, I promise you. I did realise a few years ago that no one actually talks about this retouching thing. It's like a secret or something. I'm damned if it's going to be a secret any more. I really want these young women to know we don't look like this."  Kate Winslet. [Daily Mail]
• "I think I definitely want to go to college… I could always study drama. I think that would be really cool. There's always more you can learn. If I wanted to do something totally different, I love history."  Dakota Fanning. [Newsweek]
• "Sir Anthony Hopkins is in the recording studio with Amy Winehouse, and we are hoping that next week Sir Brad and all the Pitt family will be performing The Sound of Music at the Brit awards."  Mick Jagger, making jokes at the Baftas. [People]
• "It's so invasive. It's not like they're standing 100 feet away. They're in your face, not letting you walk, standing in the way when you're driving. It becomes a situation and it doesn't need to be."  Jessica Alba on the paparazzi. [The Star]
• "I got into a bit of hot water for what I said about Amy Winehouse and I still say it again. I'm an ex-drug addict and I don't take that kind of stuff lightly. It stayed in my body for 25 years and it could still happen to this young woman or other addicts who are fooling around with drugs, especially needles. I would hope that what happened to me does not happen to her."  Natalie Cole, who has Hepatitis C and is waiting for a kidney transplant, on Amy Winehouse. [Mirror]
• "Every time I go for an ultra scan the baby is like in crazy positions with legs star-shaped and stuff. It's not like in a baby position at all. I feel like he is used to base lines and beats and receptive to that, which is cute."  M.I.A. [Mirror]
• "I grew up in Nashville, Tennessee, and my parents taught me to respect my elders. We'd say things like 'yes, ma'am' and 'no, sir' to adults. But kids in Los Angeles don't do that. I've drawn the line at my children calling adults by their first names. I tell them they can call people 'Miss Shannon' or 'Miss Heather' but that using only the first name is too familiar. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned."  Reese Witherspoon. [Reader's Digest]
• "It's crazy for people to care about him having a bong hit. Nothing's the matter with it - I want to have a bong hit right now. Really, the message Phelps is giving is that you can smoke weed and still be at the top of your game."  Bill Maher. [Gatecrasher]
• "My split with Brad was the hardest thing I ever went through. But it made me strong, superhuman. Now I'm turning 40 and I'm very excited. When they say youth is wasted on the young, it's so true.'"  Jennifer Aniston. [Daily Mail]
• People have called me a sex symbol in the past, but it's very much an effort […] It's been important for me to just do something that's extreme  that really separates me from that public Joaquin Phoenix persona, whatever the fuck that is. Or maybe I'm just lazy."  Joaquin Phoenix on his new, grizzy, bearded "look." [The Sun]

• The office of the doctor who prescribed Anna Nicole Smith methadone 13 days before she gave birth was raided today and police are looking for a connection between the doctor and lawyer Howard K. Stern.

• The California Medical Board is looking for evidence that Dr. Sandeep Kapoor was writing prescriptions for Stern so he could give the pills to Anna. Kapoor has already broken the law by writing prescriptions for the pregnant Anna Nicole under a fake name. [TMZ]
• This video is meant to demonstrate that Dannielynn is the "spitting image" of her mom, but as adults hover around the two-year-old and photograph her, it just seems sad that no one learned from her mom's relationship with the media and decided not to put the toddler on camera. [E!]
• Former Backstreet Boy Nick Carter struggled with drugs and alcohol for years, but decided to get sober when he found out he has a life threatening heart condition. Now he says he's healthy and in the best shape of his life, and there are locker wall-worthy photos to prove it. [People]
• In other boy band news, New Kids on the Block's Jonathan Knight has been outed by his former boyfriend in the National Enquirer. Reportedly, he realized he was gay after dating Tiffany. [Boy Culture]
• At last! Audio of Etta James dissing Beyonce and Barack can be found here. [This Is 50]
• Gossip Girl is planning a plot for the end of this season based on Anne Hathaway's romance with Italian grifter Raffaello Follieri. Surely this is much more exciting than her Oscar nomination. [Entertainment Weekly]
• The latest of the Christian Bale parodies has Rahm Emanuel going off on Tom Daschle, and you can listen to it here. [Jossip]
• In this video, a man dressed in a Batman costumes terrorizes tourists, performing the Christian Bale rant. Has this gone too far already? [TMZ]
• Here's the full text of Bale's diatribe, in case you want to don a Newsies costume and frighten some tourists yourself. [The Telegraph]
• Steven Soderbergh may direct Moneyball, based on the MIchael Lewis book Moneyball: The Art of Winning An Unfair Game. The film will star Brad Pitt. [Variety]
• Jewel will be on the next season of Dancing With the Stars. [Perez Hilton]
• This article dubs Kate Winslet the "Queen of Cleavage" and recounts the history of her breasts, claiming they have "become so important they are starting to take on a life of their own." [Telegraph]
• Sources say Usher's wife isn't happy being left in Atlanta with their two sons while he records his new album, but people involved with the record had enough of her meddling when he was working on his last project. [Perez Hilton]
• Shield your eyes, Notebook fans. Here's the first picture of Rachel McAdams kissing her new boyfriend, Josh Lucas. [Perez Hilton]
• Ricki Lake is going to take over Sharon Osbourne's role as Headmistress on the third season of Charm School. [PR Newswire]
• Jason Wahler, Lauren Conrad's ex, says though he likes Whitney, he can't believe The City got picked up for a second season because it was "a terrible show." [Perez Hilton]
• Hugh Grant drove up to his house with former girlfriend Jemima Khan, who he dated for three years, but when they spotted photographers they got back in the car and drove away. [The Daily Mail]
• Patrick Swayze has sold Simon & Schuster the rights to a book he plans to write with his wife about his life before and after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. [Crain's]
• Ricky Gervais thinks it's hilarious that his satirical letter to President Obama, which says he'll try to get Posh to leave the U.S. if Obama recalls Paris Hilton from the U.K., has been reported in the media. He says: "I'd love to think that somewhere there is an adviser sitting with the president saying: 'OK, so let me see if I've got this straight. 1. Withdraw from Iraq 2. Sort out education in the poorest communities and 3. Swap Posh for Hilton." [UPI]
• The U.S. and U.K. show Secret Millionaire in which rich people go undercover in poor neighborhoods and hand out money, is being adapted to capitalize on the success of Slumdog Millioniare. Secret Slumdog Millionaire will follow the same premise but be set in Mumbai, though officials have already complained that the residents are stereotyped in the film. [E!]
• Martha Stewart is suing oven-maker TurboChef because she promoted their products on her show and website and never received the company stock and cash she was promised in return. [TMZ]
• In addition to his many other charms, Daniel Craig is a good Samaritan. At a party, British journalist Sir Peregrine Worsthorne lost his hearing aid and Craig led the search, not hesitating to get down on his hands and knees or stick his hand into the kitchen garbage. He didn't even punch Sir Peregrine when the hearing aid was found stuck in his shirt. [The Daily Express]
• Dame Judi Dench reveals that she was once locked out of the Oscars for arriving late. She didn't mind because Morgan Freeman was locked out with her. [The Star]
• Duff McKagan of Guns N' Roses has a new finance column in Playboy. The Economist reports: "He took an interest in business after getting off drugs in 1994." [The Economist]
• A court ruled that 50 Cent won't have to pay half his assets, about $50 million, to the mother of his 11-year-old son, even though she says 50 promised to "take care of her for life." [TMZ]
• Paul Walker, 35, proposed to his 19-year-old girlfriend over the weekend. Paul, who has a 9-year-old daughter, "can't wait to add more kids to his life" according to a source. [Star]
• Proof kids should not try Quidditch at home: a stuntman working on the new Harry Potter film fell while rehearsing a flying stunt and is now unable to move his hands or legs after sustaining a spinal cord industry. His family says he has vowed to get better and return to work on the film. [UPI]
• Eminem is thrifty, and surprisingly sweet. He once called his manager to ask if he had enough cash to buy a $15,000 watch. His manager told him to go for it, but Eminem decided not to, saying "I don't want to run out of money, I want my daughter to be able to go to college." [U.S. News & World Report]
• Holly Madison wrote on her blog that her job at Playboy was real and she didn't quit just because she left The Girls Next Door. Holly writes: "If I had wanted a fake career for Girls Next Door I would have stuck with the jewelry line because that required very little of my time. I spent way more than full time directing shoots, editing, making mock layouts and approving retouching." [Perez Hilton]
• If things don't work out with John Mayer, Jennifer Aniston could always become a Rock of Love contestant. Bret Michaels says he has a crush on Jen because, "she seems like someone you could take home to meet mom  yet, behind closed tour bus doors, she could rock your world." [Us]
• Jennifer Connelly says that men will enjoy He's Just Not That Into You just as much as women. "There must be a reason why Ben Affleck wanted to do it and Bradley Cooper and Louie Guzman is in it, Kevin Connolly, Justin Long," she says. Yes, there must be a reason, we just can't figure out what it is. [CBS News]

• At a concert in Seattle, Etta James said:

"You know, YOUR President, the one with the big ears? He ain't MY President. Had that woman singing for him at his Inauguration. She's going to get her ass whooped." [This Is 50, DListed, TMZ, NY Daily News]

• Miley Cyrus on her "racist" picture: "I've also been told there are some people upset about some pictures taken of me with friends making goofy faces! Well, I'm sorry if those people looked at those pics and took them wrong and out of context! In NO way was I making fun of any ethnicity! I was simply making a goofy face. When did that become newsworthy?" There's more of this non-apology if you click the link. [ONTD]
• Angelina Jolie, goodwill ambassador for the U.N. Refugee Agency, is asking the government of Thailand to give more freedom to thousands of Burmese refugees. "I was saddened to meet a 21-year-old woman who was born in a refugee camp, who has never even been out of the camp and is now raising her own child in a camp," Jolie said in a UN statement. No word on whether she is trying to adopt any Burmese kids. [AP]
• Britney's diaries: Stolen! And since her dad is making a deal for her to pen a few books over the next 10 years, she needs them to write her memoirs! What's in the journals and video interviews? Brit hears voices, had an abortion, reveals the real reason she shaved her head and threatens to kill her children. As always, consider the source on this. [National Enquirer]
• Meanwhile, Sam Lutfi is suing Britney and her parents for "defamation, libel and battery." [NY Daily News]
• While in Rio, Tom Cruise has been saying hola and gracias to everyone. Of course, in Brazil, they speak Portuguese and not Spanish. [Page Six]
• Michael Phelps spoke about his bong pic: "It's something I am going to have to live with and something I'll have to grow from. I know with all of the mistakes I made, I learned from them and that is what I expect to do from this. By no means it is fun for me, by no means is it easy." Then he had to go because he had the munchies. [AP]
• James Franco has been named Harvard's Hasty Pudding Man of the Year. The roast is February 13. [AP]
• Madonna basically swept her new man, Jesus Luz, off of his feet. Luz's former modeling agent says the two met at a W magazine shoot: "We did the shoot, and I never saw him again. She loves him and asked him to go to New York. It was something very strong, because one day everybody was like, 'Oh my god, where is Jesus? He's disappeared. After he went to the shoot, he never came back. He moved to São Paulo with the crowd of Madonna, and they changed his number, and they don't let him talk to me anymore. He asked me to close his contract and I did." Now Luz is in New York with her Madgesty, working for Ford models. Upgrade! [E!]
• Why did Jessica Alba drop so much weight after giving birth? "I did it for the Campari job. [The workouts] were horrible. I cried. And I haven't worked out since." [Elle]
• Scarlett Johansson understands men, except for one thing: "Why do they have nipples? That has always amazed me." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Salma Hayek is launching the second annual Pampers/UNICEF program to stop the spread of maternal and neonatal tetanus. She explains: "I've done a lot of social work, primarily with abused women and women's rights. I had the baby and I had so much on my plate, and I said that this year, I'm taking a break from charity. I cannot do it all. But then this came along. And I said no. Then I read what it was, and I was so screwed because you cannot walk away from this one." [USA Today]
• Carla Bruni's family castle near Turin, Italy, has been sold to an Arab sheik for $9 million. What about your family castle? Is it made of sand? [Page Six]
• Prince Charles appears in the new Oasis video, through some creative editing. [Daily Mail]
• Holly Madison is dunzo. In addition to ditching Hugh Hefner, she's quit working for Playboy as an "editor." More time for wondrous illusions with boyfriend Criss Angel? [Perez]
• What does Lady GaGa want for Valentine's Day? "A good fuck and some carbohydrates." [The Sun]
• Orlando Bloom has signed onto a sci-fi flick called The Cross. Set in the near future, Orly plays a man seeking to cross a mysterious border, something no one else has achieved. He's good at pirates and elves, will he be good at a future-man? [Variety]
• Ang Lee protégé Tang Wei has landed her first role since starring in sexy spy thriller Lust, Caution and being banned in mainland China. [AP]
• Patrons at super British restaurant Tea & Sympathy in the West Village, NYC, got to watch Rupert Everett get up and recite his lines for an upcoming Broadway play. [Page Six]
• Ashton Kutcher wasn't going to look at the Hard Rock Girls calendar because he didn't want to piss off Demi Moore, but Demi said, "I don't give a fuck if you look at that thing." [Page Six]
• Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen was at a party and "She kept telling people she wasn't drinking because she was on heavy doses of Percocet, as she had just had her wisdom teeth removed. Not that anyone cared - everyone was twice her age!" [Gatecrasher]
• What the world needs now: A reality show featuring freshly rehabbed Sean Stewart, as he  wait for it  starts his own fashion line. [Page Six]
• Benji Madden: Dating Audrina Patridge? [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which starlet did more than get wet with an uber-famous athlete in a pool? On top of that, a gridiron god walked in and got a gander at the action - and the twosome's pile of cocaine." [Gatecrasher]
• Aww, Jessica Simpson's flick, Major Movie Star  now titled Private Valentine  is now available on DVD, having skipped theaters all together. [NY Daily News]
• No one likes Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP. [NY Post]
• Terrence "Baby Wipes" Howard's eyes will haunt your soul as he stares at you from the new cover of Ebony. [The Life Files]
• News network and Oasis fan MSN is launching a new gossip site called Wonderwall. The tone will be "edgy but respectful." [Reuters]
• Hugh Grant and Jemima Khan: SO ON. [This Is London]
• Kylie Minogue's hot hot man took her to meet his family in Spain. [This Is London]
• RIP Lux Interior, the lead singer of the Cramps. [BoingBoing]
• "My mom went on a date with Jimi Hendrix. My dad was a part of Strawberry Fields Forever and hung out with Timothy Leary. My parents have stories. They probably have better stories than I do. And they found God. They needed to find God. Not that they needed to find God, but God found them, really. I stopped trying to change them at 21." [Daily Mail]
• "Katy is our daughter and we love her but we strongly disagree with how she is conducting herself at the moment. We cannot cut her out of our lives as she is our child but she knows we disagree strongly with what she is doing and the message she is promoting regarding homosexuality which the Bible clearly states is a sin. But the Bible also promotes understanding and forgiveness, which I keep reminding myself. Katy is not a homosexual but I fear she has been led astray by the Hollywood crowd. I pray all the time that God will work through her and help her find salvation."  Katy Perry's mom. [Daily Mail]
• "I wore a girdle. Eight weeks after my girlfriend had her baby, you could see her six-pack. She told me to put an elastic band around my waist – any kind of band or girdle works. She was like, 'I slept in it.' I didn't recover as fast as she did. I don't have a six-pack – that's just not my body at all."  Jessica Alba. [Elle]
• "When I was in the full make-up, we had the kids come to the set, and I tried to prepare them for the moment. Their mommy tried to explain to them that 'that's daddy'. But it didn't phase them. They didn't even comment on it." Brad Pitt on filming The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. [Independent]
• "I make fun of me all the time. I'm like, 'Call me Mr. Carey, who cares?'"  Nick Cannon. [MSNBC]
• "I'm going big. It's all about the hairdo. I love being blonde a bit more at the moment. It's so much fun. I was so focused on work that I hadn't reinvented my look in so long and I love to reinvent. It gives you a whole new attitude. It's a little scary to get out of your safe zone but I love change. It's fun and I embrace it."  Drew Barrymore on her tresses. [The Sun]
• "It's a real crucible because you feel daunted by your peers who somehow get younger and younger. People older than me have fewer lines than I do. And no, you're not supposed to talk about it; you're supposed to admire the fact that they look 22 even though they're 58."  Sarah Jessica Parker on aging, in thew new issue of Bazaar. [The Life Files]
• "I haven't spoken to Christian about it, but I have listened to most of it and he was clearly very angry. People might now realise that that is his temper, and they might understand a bit more… He is a perfectionist and if you are doing an intense scene and someone is spoiling a shot, it takes time to get it back." Christian Bale's mom, on his tirade. [Mirror]
• "Everything was about keeping Christian happy because he was the meal ticket. If something wasn't just so, Christian would erupt. He would yell until he was red in the face. It was very intimidating. Fame began to change him. Once, when [his mother] Jenny and her mum arrived in Los Angeles, Christian sent me to the airport to pick them up. Jenny was in tears because her son hadn't come in person."  Christian Bale's former assistant, Harrison Cheung. Cheung also says that after Bale's dad married Gloria Steinem, "Gloria liked to pontificate and was going on about something for ages at the dinner table one night. Christian suddenly let out a huge sigh and said, 'For God's sake woman, shut up!'" [Mirror]

[London, January 23. Image via Flynet]

• "It's not like she's asking him for details, but she's thrilled at the prospect of him moving on. It makes things easier for everybody," says a source. Meanwhile, Madge is trying to keep a "low profile" on her "friendship" with A-Rod. [MSNBC]
• Don't count on Reese Witherspoon tying the knot with Jakey G. any time soon (you were waiting for this with bated breath, we assume): Reese says she's not sure she'll ever get married again. "I don't know [if I'll get married again]. I don't think about it much. At the moment, I am not far enough out of being married to think about doing it again," she says. [ Daily Mail]
• Rumors are rampant that Russell Crowe is clashing with director Ridley Scott on the set of the film Nottingham. A source tells Page Six, "Ridley is the only one who is willing to stand up to Russell and tell him he's too fat and that he can't show up four hours late to the set…[Russell] wants someone he can control." Russell plays the Sheriff of Nottingham in this new version of the Robin Hood tale. [Page Six]
• Though initial speculation was that Levi Johnston's mother, Sherry, was involved in selling meth, she was actually apprehended for selling oxycontin, otherwise known as "hillbilly heroin." She's currently out on bail. [McClatchy]
• Eric Dane is still not over the fact that ex-ladyfriend Lara Flynn Boyle was dating Jack Nicholson while she dated Dane in the 90s. "My take on the whole thing was, I'm 30. He's 70. This is not going to go down like this. I couldn't comprehend a 35-year-old woman gravitating toward a 70-year-old man . . . I walked away," Dane says. [Page Six]
• Sam Ronson's Lilo love has been quite lucrative: since the pair got together, SamRon's DJ fee has gone from $1,500 to as much as $25,000 per event. “While Sam never contractually agrees that Lindsay will show up to her shows, promoters, owners and publicists all know that if you book Sam, there’s a high likelihood Lindsay will also show,” an "insider" tells the Daily News. However, the couple apparently bickers constantly. [NYDN]
• Sad news for Led Zep lovers! Robert Plant has said that he does not want to do a reunion tour. "I still see Jimmy [Page] quite a lot and he's very complimentary and supportive of what I'm doing," Plant says. "But we are in different places now and you have to go on to do different things." Then he added, "Do you know how long it took me to climb up onto the stage here - and it's only four steps!" Aw. We've got a whole lotta love for Robert. [Telegraph]
• Tom Hanks is literally the nicest guy in Hollywood: to help raise money for a failing independent book seller called Village Books in Pacific Pallisades, Hanks "sat at at a small table in the back signing everything put in front of him…He stayed a half-hour beyond his scheduled two-hour appearance." The store is now catching up on back rent thanks to Hanks' generosity. Love!!! [Page Six]
• All the British tabs have photos of a no longer skeletal Amy Winehouse frolicking on the beach in St. Lucia. Some are speculating that she is really getting off drugs this time: fingers crossed. [The Sun  Link NSFW]
• "She's keeping it fresh for her customers. I wanted to do nipple rings, and (Aronofsky) said, 'I love it.' And I knew we were on the same page. They pinched them on and used eyelash glue. My breasts got a lot of attention that day."  Marisa Tomei on her role as a stripper in The Wrestler. [ USA Today]
• Paris Hilton's mom, Cathy, had this to say about the recent burglary of $2 million worth of jewelery from Paris's Hollywood Hills home: "I'm just happy that she's okay. But you can't be possessed by your possessions. Those are just things. And I'm happy that she's okay." [E! Online via Yahoo News]
• Unlike her mama, Paris is not so happy-go-lucky about the robbery. "I am devastated. I cannot believe someone broke into my home. They took items that had such sentimental value that no one will ever be able to replace," she says. [Extra]
• A recording of John Lennon drunk and singing a cover of the Lloyd Price song "Just Because" in 1973 was purchased for $30,000. A spokeswoman from the auction house said, "It was six minutes, 16 seconds, and John singing very drunk and with John ad-libbing his own lyrics into the song  so it's actually a fun song to listen to." Hear that people? Start recording your drunk ass singing, it might be worth tens of thousands some day! [CNN]
• A new biography of the King of Pop claims that Michael Jackson is gravely ill. “He needs a lung transplant, but may be too weak to go through with it. He also has emphysema and chronic gastrointestinal bleeding, which his doctors have had a lot of trouble stopping. It’s the bleeding that’s the most problematic part. It could kill him," says biographer Ian Halperin. Halperin alleges that Jackson has "an inherited condition called A1AD — alpha-1 anti-trypsin deficiency. Sufferers lack a protein which protects the lungs." Yikes! [The Sun]
• There will be no strollers allowed at Obama's inauguration, but not because they're a nuisance  but because they're a security risk. Thermoses, backpacks, and chairs will also not be allowed on the inauguration route. [TMZ]

• A little too late, Britney Spears regrets allowing her misdemeanor charge for driving without a license to go to trial. Maybe because the jury started deliberating on Friday and Brit realized if found guilty, she faces a maximum of six months in jail. The $1,000 fine? Not that big of a deal. [MSNBC]
• The Spears jury is presently deadlocked. They're split 10-2, but whether they're leaning toward guilt or innocence is not known. [CBS News, People]
• Britney! Live! On Good Morning America! December 2! [Page Six]
• Brit's hired Wade Robson to choreograph her new world tour. He's the one who did the Slave 4 U moves and can't wait to get started. Plus, he says of Brit's problems: "When you exist in a warped world, warped things are going to happen to you." [The Sun]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty are on vacation in Italy. Again. They were just there in July. [People]
• Chevy Chase was not impressed by Sarah Palin on SNL: "Quite frankly, it's a big mistake to let her go on," he says. "What was brilliant about Lorne [Michaels] was that he had nothing written for Sarah and that apparently she cannot improvise herself out of a paper bag!" He also says: "If anything, you just want her to be seen just from a distance. I'm sure she's very bright. But so is the Butterworth woman." [UPI]

• Gwyneth Paltrow on Madonna: "You know, she's a dear friend, and I'm supporting her in all [the] ways that I can. I'm just here for her. I'm just here on the other end of the phone, really. I speak to her a lot." [Us Magazine]
• Trudie Styler on Madonna and Guy: "They're both dear friends of mine and all good things sometimes come to an end. Obviously they've been struggling for a while. I think they're destined to become great pals." [The Sun]
• Guy Ritchie thinks Madonna spies on him. A source says he thinks of the split as "something concocted by the KGB," and told her: "This is a divorce, not the Cold War." [The Sun]
• Meanwhile, Alex Rodriguez was seen in Miami with his wife and daughter. [The Sun]
• The latest is Madonna wants to raise her kids in NYC. [People]
• Do pictures of Tea Leoni hanging out with Billy Bob Thornton prove anything about the state of her marriage at the time? [TMZ]
• Wow, David Duchovny plans to sue Britain's Daily Mail for claiming he cheated on wife Tea Leoni with 28-year-old tennis instructor Edit Pakay. Pakay says she hasn't seen Duchovny since last November and never had a romantic or sexual relationship [with him]." [Rush & Molloy]
• A 19-year-old hacker who published provocative snaps of Miley Cyrus was raided by the FBI Monday morning in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. He'd gained unauthorized access to her Gmail and her MySpace. The guy's also made about $50,000 exploiting an advertising scheme on MySpace. The moral of the story: Change your passwords often! [Wired]
• Scarlett Johansson will host the Nobel Peace Concert on Dec. 11 due to her "compassion and influence." [Yahoo News]
• Prosecutors in the Raffaello Follieri case are urging the judge to give him more than the four years in prison agreed to in his plea deal. They say he "committed crimes out of greed and a desire to live a lifestyle like the rich and famous." [AP]
• Joe Biden was on Ellen and called Proposition 8 "regressive" and "unfair." [SF Gate]
• Tom Cruise took son Connor (member him?) to see Tina Turner in concert last week, and after the show, Tom went to a dinner for Tina. Private dancer! [Page Six]
• Victoria Beckham, wedding planner! Melanie "Sporty Spice" Chisholm has asked Vicky to help plan her ceremony to fiancé Thomas Starr. Expect crisp white everything. [Pop Dirt]
• Kristin Cavallari of Lauguna Beach is hooking up with hot hottie Chris Evans of Fantastic Four. [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton hearts London. "I love the Brits, they rock! Everything from their personalities, style and of course the accents. I'd love to live here one day." Don't let us stop you! [Daily Mail]
• Venus and Serena Williams are posing in evening gowns on a tennis court for November's Bazaar. Click for pix! [Concrete Loop]
• Hugh Grant has dropped out of a romantic comedy called Lost For Words. He would have played a British actor approached to star in a movie by a Chinese director with whom he falls in love after a brief flirtation with her translator; Ziyi Zhang was cast in the role of the director. Hugh Grant will be replaced by a cocker spaniel, who promises to be as floppy and charming. [UPI]
• Eminem on that 2002 MTV Awards where he was seated in front of Moby and had a showdown with Triumph The Insult Comic Dog: He was drunk. [Rush & Molloy]
• Pamela Anderson was seen leaving a plastic surgery center with a bandage on her chest. What does it mean? [Perez Hilton]
• Gillian Anderson gave birth to a son last week, whom she named Felix. Her first son's name is Oscar. Her very own Odd Couple. Gillian also has a daughter named Piper. [Reuters, ET]
• The driver of a car in which Mary-Kate Olsen was riding backed into an an El Pollo Loco delivery vehicle in West Hollywood. M-K was out furniture shopping at the time. [TMZ]
• Teen Dream Zac Efron will be in Pirates Of The Caribbean 4. Disney's got to "groom" a successor for Johnny Depp. Not that you can replace Johnny Depp. Especially not with a dude from a teen musical. [The Sun]
• Here's a video of a Faberge egg that belonged to Princess Grace. It's making its first public appearance at the Clevland Museum. [Forbes]
• A burger restaurant in New York has a huge Andy Warhol hanging by the takeout window; guess who is pissed off? The Campbell's Soup people. They say the art makes it "seem that the restaurant is affiliated with or sponsored by Campbell in some way." [Page Six]
• Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora were together Saturday night  for the sake of daughter Ava, who was celebrating her 11th birthday. [TMZ]
• Here's a story all about the drug habits of the Rolling Stones. (Mick Jagger's been clean for years; Ronnie Wood and Keith Richards, on the other hand, were "permanently fuelled by a combination of cocaine and alcohol.") [The Sun]
• Sting received a kiss  described as a "terrifying snog"  from Little Britain transvestite character Emily Howard; aka David Walliams. [Mirror]
• Bond Girl Ursula Andress has suffered from osteoporosis for the last eight years: "My doctor told me that I had to take medication to save my way of life. I find it so strange because I had no pain, no warning. But that is the nature of the disease. You carry on as normal and you don't realise that your bone is becoming like glass." [Daily Mail]
• John Cleese: Baffled by the curtains in his California hotel room. [The Sun]
• Hmm, a blogger accused of leaking songs from the long-delayed Guns N' Roses album Chinese Democracy has pleaded not guilty to violating federal copyright laws. He could get three years in prison if convicted. Does this mean the album may actually get released??? [AP]
• Fergie, the Duchess of York, probably won't get married again: Her daughters don't want her to. She also says of Prince Andrew: "He said I must never say this, but he said, 'We are divorced to each other, not from each other.' We are the happiest unmarried couple." [Daily Mail]
• Ricky Gervais has an idea for an Extras Christmas special. He misses Extras more than The Office and says: "Andy Millman was more real than David Brent by the end of the show and I loved Maggie Jacobs - she was the best character we've ever come up with." [The Star]
• Katy Perry, whose single "I Kissed A Girl" has more than five million worldwide sales, says she really has kissed a girl. "Of course. I think I was 19. I kissed a girl and it was great." [The Star]
• Tim McGraw has co-written a book about a dad and his daughter, just hanging out. He says dads should bond with daughters, but not by getting pedicures or shopping: "Do what you have to do in your regular routine and take them with you. It makes all the difference in the world." [Yahoo News]
• Robert De Niro's hotel got a bad review. You talkin to me? [Jossip]
• Jamie King has been dealing with a stalker, and had to get protection from the cops. "It's very real and he was very aggressive," says a source. "He had recently escaped from a mental institute. It was scary." [E!]
• Apparently the cover of OK! with Jordan breaking up with husband Peter Andre was a trick/joke. [Perez Hilton]
• Daniel Craig is backing a £2 million campaign to fund a new lifeboat station near his childhood home. [Telegraph]
• Hulk Hogan's son: Out of jail. [AP]
• "You can’t ignore divorce rates. Every friend of mine has parents who are divorced. I didn’t go into it with Max thinking, 'This is going to last forever.' But I did go into it thinking, 'I love him right now and I know that I will continue to love him for a long while.'"  Peaches Geldof, 19, on her quickie marriage to Max Drummey. [Perez Hilton]
• "She said that small towns, that's the part of the country she really likes going to because that's the pro-America part of the country. You know, I just want to say to her, just very quickly: Fuck you."  Jon Stewart on Sarah Palin. [Perez Hilton]
• "In writing my memoirs, I have made a great many observations about myself and my sister Madonna. I will not be commenting on her divorce as that is a private matter between her and Guy Ritchie and would consider any commentary on my part dishonorable and disrespectful."  Christopher Ciccone. [MSNBC]
• "I’d never work out and lose weight if the part called for it. I’d say, 'that’s not the film for me.' It’s not real life, it’s ludicrous. If you fall for someone because they’ve got a jawline and a chest and they’re brain dead it won’t last! In life, real people fall for nice people all the time and Hollywood denies that a bit. That’s what I brought over from Britain."  Ricky Gervais. [The Sun]