• Today a judge ruled that Jon Gosselin must pay back $180,000 of the money he removed from his shared bank account with Kate Gosselin in violation of an arbitrator's order. As for the rest of the money...

• Kate's lawyer said, "The remaining sum of $55,000, which Ms. Gosselin used for household bills and expenses relating to the children, will be subject to further determination by the arbitrator at a later date." Jon has to pay by October 26 or be held in contempt. Kate has until that date to detail what she's been spending the money on. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan Tweeted: "@samantharonson doesn't respond 2me b/c her family will cut her off if she contacts me…They control the one I love & im incapable of making any sort of difference. I'm in love with her, as she is in love with me….but her loved ones-hate her brilliance & resent her happiness" [Perez Hilton]
• In the video at the link, a Dallas news anchor asks Oprah, "Would you like to take this opportunity to apologize to America for introducing us to Dr. Phil?" She laughs and says, "Aren't you proud of your boy from Texas?" to which the anchor replies, "No." [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson was nominated for five American Music Awards today. His death made him the biggest-selling artist of the year and he was nominated for favorite male artist and favorite album for Number Ones. [Reuters]
• Sources who have heard unreleased Michael Jackson recordings say there are at least two albums worth of material, and some are better than "This Is It." [TMZ]
• Helen Harris-Scott, who once claimed Michael Jackson communicated with her through his music, has filed a creditor's claim for $50 million. She says Michael installed a tracking device in her car, wiretapped her phone and had "organized criminals watching me inside my house in L.A. and reporting to him." [TMZ]
• Robert O'Ryan, Shawn Johnson's alleged stalker, will stand trial for felony stalking, felony commercial burglary and two misdemeanor counts of carrying a loaded firearm in his car. A judge threw out an attempted kidnapping charge because although he had zip ties, duct tape, and a shot gun in his car the judge said there was so much junk in the vehicle that he could not have fit Johnson inside. [TMZ]
• Deputy James Davis, the police officer who arrested Evi Quaid and Randy Quaid, is suing her because she was photographed hanging a hand painted sign accusing him of taking bribes outsider her home. Now another sign has appeared that accuses him of being a "Deputy with Underrated Intelligence." [TMZ]
• NBC has cancelled Southland, but TNT may pick it up. [Hollywood Reporter]
• A Richard Prince exhibition has reopened at the Tate Modern in London after a nude photo of Brooke Shields when she was 10-years-old was removed for possibly violating obscenity laws. Prince was consulted and the picture was replaced with a photo of Shields as an adult. [N.Y. Times]
• The first witness in the preliminary hearing over Anna Nicole Smith's death testified today that she was found with a bottle of the anti-biotic Cipro and a baby bottle full of Pedialyte, which is used to rehydrate children who have diarrhea and vomiting. Anna had the flu. [TMZ]
• The paparazzi caught Maria Shriver talking on a cell phone while driving, which was outlawed by a bill Arnold Schwarzenegger signed last year. [TMZ]
• Paparazzi caught Famke Jannsen with feeding her dog while dining on the patio of a New York restaurant. In New York it is illegal to bring a dog into a restaurant. [TMZ]
• The cover of Q magazine featuring a topless Lily Allen with panthers won a Maggie for the best UK magazine cover of the year. [Guardian]
• Lily Allen is preparing to move in with her new boyfriend Sam Cooper, who is a builder. "They have made enquiries about several terraced properties in Primrose Hill in London," says a source. "Sam's brilliant at planning and design so it makes sense for him to advise on any business ventures. They're so into each other, it's very sweet." [Ok]
• Though they've only been dating for a few weeks Katy Perry wants to introduce Russell Brand to her parents. "Katy is as besotted with Russell as he is with her. However, her parents are extraordinarily strict Christians," says a source. "Katy is sure that, after a bit of getting used to him, they would approve of Russell, but she wants to get that initial meeting out of the way as early as she can." [The Sun]
• Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen saved a lost dog they saw other drivers swerving around in Los Angeles. Sacha called the owners to set up a meeting and said he'd recognize them because, "I'm very tall and my fiancée is really tiny. You can't miss us." [E!]
• PETA is attacking Paris Hilton for buying a pet mini-pig recently, saying she sets a "wretched example" by treating animals like they're "as disposable as her friends and fiances." [TMZ]
• Karina Smirnoff says the rumors she's hooking up with her Dancing With the Stars partner Aaron Carter are "really funny" because judge Len Goodman keeps accusing them of not being sexy enough on the dance floor. "Let me tell you, if that was the case, the dance would have been very raunchy, as Len wanted it to be," she said. [People]
• The autopsy of Boyzone star Stephen Gately, who was found dead on Saturday, shows he died of natural causes. [USA Today]
• Ethan Hawke is on the new cover of Hobo magazine, sitting on a swing looking scruffy and dejected. [Just Jared]
• Tilda Swinton is trying to prevent Donald Trump from developing a golf course in Scotland. He responded: "Where was Tilda Swinton three years ago when everyone else was petitioning? She's a little late in the game don't you think? Swinton is a part of a tiny little group of people who are hanging by a thread. 93% of the public in Scotland are in favor of the project. I have all of my permits and approvals and we're going to start construction in 3 weeks." [TMZ]
• Heidi Klum says she and Seal won't be having any more kids after their new daughter Lou Sulola. "I think that it's a wonderful experience to be pregnant, definitely, but you have to look at what you can do, and four children is a lot!" she said. "It's a big family. We drive a really big VW bus. Now in September, all three children will be going to school. Try to fit three car seats in the back of the car!" [People]
• T.R. Knight told Ellen DeGeneres, "I want a baby... I don't know if it's going to end up working out, but that would be something I would like." [Us]
• Former Spice Girl Emma Bunton's two-year-old son Beau was taken to the hospital last week because he had a bloody lip. Bunton says, "It's been an emotional week for me as Beau had his first accident, which left both of us in tears. He fell over his scooter and his tooth pierced his bottom lip, so there was blood everywhere." He was sent home the same day. [Daily Express]
• Claire Danes says she likes to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge but has never ventured much further into the borough. "That's terrible. I sound terrible," she said. Her husband Hugh Dancy added, "Basically, you're speaking to the most politely pro-Manhattanite person that you've ever met, right here." [N.Y. Magazine]
• "They've turned the word rock into nothing. It's a meaningless word. "It rocks." "That food rocks." "She's rocking in that outfit." They've taken the word and stripped it of all its menace, of all its dirt, of all its sex." — Joan Jett [Esquire]
• Jane Birkin says Serge Gainsbourg "was scared stiff of all breasts. Which was why, when he met me, he said: 'Wow – you have a body just like the ones I drew in art school.' He didn't like bosoms to be high and pert; he liked them lower down, which was just as well, as I'd had a baby. 'I've always dreamt of a girl who had the top of a boy and the bottom of a girl,' he once told me – Serge did like a bottom." [The Telegraph]
• Sharon Stone says she likes the men of old Hollywood like William Powell and Spencer Tracy because, "They're chivalrous and funny and not too politically correct. They still smack a gal on the ass, which I just think is swell. They wear a suit, they have a hat, they drive a car, they have a job. They stand up when you come in the room, say please and thank you. All those old fashioned things go a long way with me." [Showbiz 411]

• Supposedly, Johnny Depp doesn't want to make another Pirates of the Caribbean because he knows the last two "sucked." Disney will offer him a huge paycheck and if he refuses, he'll be replaced by a younger Zac Efron-type.

• The book On Stranger Tides, upon which the fourth Pirates film will be based, leaves room for a younger character to take the lead, but could someone like Shia LaBeouf or Robert Pattinson really fill the void left by Captain Jack? [MTV]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married earlier this month in a small ceremony in France. [Life And Style]
• Jessica Simpson is doing some damage control after the negative reaction to her complaints about having to sleep under a mosquito net in Uganda on Friday. Her rep said, "The accommodations were certainly interesting, but Jessica enjoyed being a part of a totally different culture." And the next day Jess Tweeted on Sunday: "Uganda was truly a beautiful adventure... I will carry the spirit of all the people with me always. God Bless." [People]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer called into Good Morning America today to say that though his client was arrested in Switzerland on Saturday, he's in "very good shape" and he believes it will be possible for Polanski "to obtain his freedom." [TMZ]
• French foreign minister Bernard Kouchner called Roman Polanski's arrest a "bit sinister" and a petition protesting his detention is going around Hollywood. So far Monica Bellucci and Fanny Ardant have signed. Harvey Weinstein said, "We're calling on every film-maker we can to help fix this terrible situation." [BBC]
• Roman Polanski has refused to be extradited from Switzerland to the United States. [AFP]
• Two previous attempts to arrest Roman Polanski when he travelled to countries that have extradition treaties to the U.S. failed because he learned of the plans and cancelled his trips. But he travels to Switzerland frequently and "had no suspicion he'd be entrapped" according to a source. [People]
• TMZ has obtained the 911 call that lead to David Hasselhoff being taken to the hospital last week. In the first, one of his ex-wife Pamela Bach's friends calls 911 to report an incident at Hasselhoff's home, but when the dispatcher calls the house and get his daughter Hayley, she says, "Turn around ... we're completely fine... My mom is trying to cause something ... nothing happened here at all." [TMZ]
• Burglars broke into Gwen Stefani's London mansion to steal her jewelry on Saturday night while she was at a concert in Singapore. They got into a flat Stefani rents to Dame Elizabeth Forgan, head of the Arts Council, but were unable to get into Stefani's flat. [Daily Mail]
• Britney Spears went to the Sugar Factory candy store in Las Vegas this weekend and spent $3,000. She bought three Halloween baskets, two buckets of Swedish Fish, a box of milk chocolate, and 25 of her own Circus Tour lollipops for $25 a piece. [TMZ]
• Pleasant Bridgewater, the Bahamian senator who was charged with extortion over a document regarding medical treatment for Jett Travolta, may have destroyed the document in question, a Refusal of Treatment/Transportation order signed by John Travolta. [People]
• Pamela Anderson is denying that she didn't pay contractors who worked on her home because she's broke, explaining, "I'm financially secure... It is true that I am in a dispute with some of the contractors working on my home. This is because after paying millions of dollars to build the house I continue to get bills from the contractors." [People]
• She adds, "Mistakes may have been made in calculating taxes owed and we are now in the process of ensuring that any taxes owed are paid." [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian Tweeted after her sister Khloe's wedding: "Tonight was one of the best nights of my life!" [People]
• The day after Khloe's wedding Kim Kardashian supposedly took a flight to New Orleans to see Reggie Bush. "The wedding made her miss him, so she flew to see him," says a source. [E!]
• This week, Lady Gaga will be honored as Billboard's "Rising Star" as the publication's annual Women in Music event. [AP]
• Evi and Randy Quaid's former private investigator Becky Altringer says that Evi frequently used a bad credit card under the name Janet Cross. [Radar Online]
• Altringer adds, "Randy told me that none of his family will see or talk to him because of Evi... He told me that he really misses his mother and his brother Dennis, but that they are all afraid of Evi. I used to see him tear up when he'd talk about them." [Radar Online]
• Mackenzie Phillips says of her family's reaction to her incest allegations, "Don't get me wrong, I understand that my family doesn't want this played out nationally, but the people who are saying that I'm lying have known about it for such a long time. [They're] trying to discredit me in a public way to either protect the brand of The Mamas and the Papas or to protect the memory of [my father.] ... I absolutely loved my father, but he wasn't a good man. He was deeply flawed." [CBS News]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt adopted a second puppy. Nine weeks ago they got a maltipoo puppy named Dolly and they says, "We're getting Dolly's brother and naming him Inky the Ninja!" [People]
• In the audiobook of Patrick Swayze's book Time of My Life, which he narrates, he says he felt "anger, bitterness and despair" when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. [People]
• Ben Lee and Ione Skye welcomed a daughter, Goldie Priya Lee, on Thursday. [People]
• First Republic Bank has put a hold on Frances Bean Cobain's $1.2 million trust fund because there's a dispute over whether Courtney Love or the Laird Norton Tyee Trustee Company has the right to access her account. Love's attorney says the band is just stalling because she and the trustee had agreed to move the money to a different bank and First Republic doesn't want to lose the account. [TMZ]
• Jaime Kennedy is claiming that a now-former assistant is responsible for the reports that he was cheating on Jennifer Love Hewitt. Perez Hilton suggests that Kennedy himself may have called and accused "Miguel" of making the rumors up. [Perez Hilton]
• Fred Durst and wife of two months, Esther Nazarov, have split up. He announced on Twitter: "For those of you inquiring, I will confirm that Esther and I have decided to go our separate ways and we both thank you for your support." He added, "We remain very positive and wish only the best for each other." [Perez Hilton]
• Jude Law says of playing Hamlet on Broadway, "He demands such a reveal of your inner feelings and thoughts that you have to open yourself up to him and see where he takes you." [Style.com]
• Kristin Cavallari says of working on The Hills, "I pretty much do anything they have me do because I don't care... I mean, we're filming a TV show. Let's make it interesting. Let's have a good time with it."
  [L.A. Times]
• Jeremy Piven's RocknRolla co-star Ludacris is clearing up the murcury poisoning rumors once and for all. He says: "A lot of people thought he was making up the mercury poisoning thing. I'm telling you, as his friend trying to look out for him, when he was around me, he definitely OD'd on fish."
  [N.Y. Observer]

• Billy Ray Cyrus knows you're worried about Miley Cyrus dancing on an ice cream cart while holding a pole, and he has this to say:

"You know what? I just think that Miley loves entertaining people… I always tell her to love what you're doing and stay focused for the love of the art and not worry so much about opinion," In other words: Keep on poledancin', honey! [Access Hollywood]

• Miley Cyrus has a new man, her Last Song costar Liam Hemsworth, 18. A quick Google search finds him fairly cute. Or, you know, hot. [Gatecrasher]
• Gerard Butler threw Jennifer Aniston into the trunk of a car yesterday… on the set of The Bounty. [NY Post]
• Madonna — recently seen kissing Jesus Luz in Portofino, Italy while on a break from touring — is happy to have Luz around. And her kids "see Jesus as 'Mommy's friend.'" [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ugh: Stomach-churning details from the Jasmine Fiore murder. Cops claim that the murdered model's teeth and fingers were removed, probably to keep authorities from ID'ing the body. Suspect Ryan Jenkins (Jasmine's ex-husband), who taped Megan Wants A Millionaire in March, is still at large. [AP]
• The producers of Megan Wants A Millionaire say: "[The production company] was not aware of Ryan Jenkins' record when it cast him… Obviously, if the company had been given a full picture of his background, he would never have been allowed on the show. The company did have in place what it thought was a thorough vetting process that involved complete background checks by an outside company for all contestants on its shows. Clearly, the process did not work properly in this case." Jenkins was convicted of assaulting a girlfriend in 2005. [TMZ]
• Robert Hasman, a former boyfriend of Jasmine Fiore, was texting with Jasmine right before she died. She texted Hasman, saying she was going to Las Vegas to see him. TMZ claims: "It appears [Ryan] Jenkins may have seen the text because Hasman received a text shortly after saying 'suck it.'" Did the text set Jenkins off and send him into a murderous rage? [TMZ]
• Hmm. Jasmine Fiore never told her "mother figure" she married Ryan Jenkins. [CNN]
• A woman charged with snooping at Britney Spears' home in April has been sentenced to three years probation and 240 hours of community service. [Contact Music]
• Lindsay Lohan and Michael Lohan are NOT distant and are always happy to see each other. Says Michael Lohan. [Radar Online]
• Lindsay Lohan Tweeted that she'd be shopping at a store in downtown Manhattan yesterday afternoon, and then complained to friends, "Why are there all these people here?" when she arrived and found a pack of paparazzi outside the store. [Page Six]
• Let's just pretend this Heidi Montag workout website and fitness e-book is not happening, mmmkay? [Perez]
• Maybe we can also pretend that Spencer Pratt isn't talking about his new book How To Be Famous and saying stuff like "If I weren't me, I'd hate me. When you're the villain, you don't have to worry about how your enemy feels." [Gatecrasher]
• "Battle of the busty blonde singers: Heidi Montag and Kim Zolciak face off on the airwaves." [NY Daily News]
• BREAKING: Tyra Banks and rumored boyfriend John Utendahl had dinner. [Page Six]
• Katy Perry weighs in on the Lady Gaga-has-a-penis rumor: "Oh please, it's all very calculated. She knows what she's doing." As calculated as a former Christian singer warbling about a same-sex kiss? [LA Times]
• Hayden Panettiere, 20, is now dating Pink Taco owner Harry Morton, son of Hard Rock mogul Peter Morton. This column notes: "Harry, 28, is only slightly more age-appropriate for Panetierre than her 32-year-old ex, Milo Ventimiglia." [Page Six]
• Claire Danes looks smoking hot wearing platforms and fishnets in this photo shoot. [BlackBook]
• Some idiot threw a dildo at American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert during a show, and "Glambert" kicked it right back into the crowd. [Perez]
• Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon was on the Wendy Williams show when she let it slip that Jamie Foxx had a new baby. Apparently this had been a secret, but the baby girl's mother is a real-estate agent, described as "tall, muscular, pretty, brunette and white." [Mirror]
• Usher's ex-wife Tameka Foster wrote a blog entry for the Huffington Post called "She's Pretty For A Dark-Skinned Girl." Author Aisha Curry wrote the book Pretty For A Black Girl in 2007 and says: "I cannot and will not say she stole my idea, because you never should assume. However, I will say that It seemed like one heck of a coincidence and everything I touched on she did." [ONTD]
• Here's an interview with Michael Jackson's personal artist, David Nordahl, who created mythical and fantastical paintings for the King Of Pop. He created a work called Field of Dreams, in which MJ leads children of all nationalities (plus sister Janet, AIDS activist Ryan White and actor Macaulay Culkin) on a sunlit path. Click through for a different painting of MJ surrounded by cherubs. [USA Today]
• "A chubby clinic worker has claimed he had a LOVE AFFAIR with Michael Jackson." [The Sun]
• Tickets for the Michael Jackson movie go on sale September 27. [CNN]
• If you take pictures of Kenny Chesney during his concert, he will jump down and steal your memory card. [UPI]
• The divorce between Kelis and Nas is getting down to the dirty details: Who should get how much money. Apparently Nas makes about $244,000 a month; Kelis makes a mere $13,000 a month. She's asking for child support, spousal support, retro child support and retro spousal support. Maybe she should sing a song that's like, "Hey, hubby, baby I want your money…" Oh. Wait. [TMZ]
• Real Housewife Of Orange County Lynne Curtin was supposed to be evicted from her home but the papers were served to her daughter, who's a minor. [TMZ]
• Ladies love Salman Rushdie. [Page Six]
• Nelly and Ashanti: Splitsville. [Gatecrasher]
• Barbra Streisand's ex-boyfriend is auctioning off tapes he made of her earliest performances, in case you have $1 million lying around. [Page Six]
• Kids In The Hall reunion! [Variety]
• Billy Bob Thornton will star in a boxing flick called Pound for Pound, based on a novel by F.X. Toole, the author of the book that became Million Dollar Baby. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• "I don't think I have ever changed a diaper." — newly pregnant Kourtney Kardashian. [E!]
• "I wish my dad was here, but I know that he is here with us [in spirit], and I feel like this is definitely a blessing from him. It's bittersweet, and that's how I feel about getting married, too. I almost don't want to get married because I don't want him to not be there." — Kourtney Kardashian, on being pregnant without being able to talk to her late father, famed attorney Robert Kardashian. [People]
• "People come up to me in airports, and they're asking for my autograph not because I'm the drummer for the Chili Peppers. They really think I'm Will Ferrell. [I say] 'No, I'm not.' But they're still like, 'I loved you in 'Old School.' You're so funny.'" — Chad Smith. And really, the side by side pictures show an uncanny resemblance. [Gatecrasher]
• "He's such a cutie patootie. Sometimes I forget just how good-looking he is. While relationships are work, this just didn't feel like it. It's the kind of work that feels energizing rather than enervating. There's that pledge, and people talk about it being claustrophobic but I find it the opposite. I find it very freeing to know that, okay, it takes constant nurturing and attention, but I can also stop looking for the one-that's established. I can apply myself in other ways now. I have more time and energy to get shit done." — Claire Danes on recognizing fiancée Hugh Dancy is "the one." [BlackBook]
• "The fun thing about surgery is that they always have new things and you can always try things. I'm not sure what's on that list right now, but I'm sure as I get older, I'll want to keep up with maintenance as most Hollywood does." — Heidi Montag. [Perez]

• Victoria Beckham had her first day on the set of American Idol on Friday and a source says: "It didn't go well." Why ever not?

"She tried to hard to be 'nice,' but came off as icy and wooden," a source revealed. Plus: Contestants were disappointed not to see Paula on the panel. [Radar Online]

• Before she started judging, Victoria Beckham told Ryan Seacrest: "I'm going to try hard to pout and not shatter the illusion that I'm a moody cow, but I don't know if I can - I'm just so happy." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, ABC has reached out to Paula Abdul about joining Dancing With The Stars. as a judge or a contestant. [Variety]
• Olivia Newton-John's former boyfriend, Patrick McDermott, presumed dead since 2005, is alive in Mexico and wishes to be left alone. He reportedly owes back child support to his ex-wife, which may be one of the reasons he disappeared. [Daily Mail]
• Behold: A picture of Real Housewives Kim Zolciak with her "Big Poppa." [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin will sit down for an interview with E!, and react to whatever Kate Gosselin says on the Today show today. So there's a Jon special on E! tonight — and tomorrow night, a full interview. [E!]
• Kate Major continues to attempt to be relevant. [E!]
• Jeremy Piven and Chris Kattan got into a screaming match backstage at MTV on Thursday: Kattan said "So, what are you here to promote, your Broadway play?" and Piven said Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?" Tempers flared. Doors slammed. Obscenities were yelled. Funny dudes can't take jokes? [Gatecrasher]
• Sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were spotted at a Bobby Long concert in L.A. on Thursday night. Because their love is destiny, people! And what is a sparkle vamp without a ladylove? According to this report: "After the show, a cab spirited them off into the night." [ET]
• "Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart heat up with low-key date nights and hotel sleepovers." [NY Daily News]
• Pattinson had a low-key night out… not in a Manhattan hot spot. On Long Island. [Page Six]
• A man accused of sending death threats to Beyoncé and Jay-Z will have to undergo a mental evaluation, duh. [Daily Express]
• "America's other first couple: Beyoncé and Jay-Z are black America's second most famous couple: young, rich and with a direct line to the White House." [Times Of London]
• Is Guy Ritchie dating Iron Man actress Mellany Gandara? [Daily Express]
• Katherine Jackson's lawyer L. Londell McMillan says: "She's got her grandchildren, they're set. She's starting to rock and roll. She's getting her grandma swagger back. But she has been busy trying to make sure that these children will be provided for." [People]
• Mark Lester, who was in the 1968 film Oliver!, and is the godfather of Michael Jackson's kids, says he could be the biological father of Paris Jackson. This paper puts a picture of Paris side by side with a picture of Lester's daughter and survey says: Probably not. But does Paris have long ears like Arnold Klein? [Daily Mail]
• "Longtime Michael Jackson friend Mark Lester is not the father of Jackson's daughter, nor is he claiming paternity, despite a tabloid report indicating Lester says he's Paris Jackson's biological dad, sources tell People." [People]
• A source says that Michael Jackson was super excited about his upcoming tour. "He even said to me on several occasions, 'I am going to give everything I have. He even said, I'll die on the stage if I have to. It gives me the chills thinking about it now." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson's body was finally buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery in the Hollywood Hills. No ceremony, no fans. The exact location is a secret. [Mirror]
• Presented without comment: "A doctor has revealed how he prescribed Michael Jackson a 'chemical castration' drug to suppress his sexual urges towards under-age boys." [Mirror]
• ABC entertainment president Stephen McPherson on Katherine Heigl's latest anti-Grey's Anatomy tirade: "People will behave in a way they choose to behave. There are so many people who work unbelievably hard on Grey's… so I think it's really hard for them to hear [her complain about working a 17-hour day]." [EW]
• Jenna Fischer says: "I always see these tabloid reports about certain people being 'Spotted Without Their Wedding Ring!' like it's some big deal… [I don't wear my ring because I] would have to take it off and leave it in my trailer, which I would never do. They aren't that secure. Break-ins happen all the time. So if I go someplace after work I could be 'spotted' without my ring. It means nothing." [People]
• How did Ashlee Simpson lose her "baby weight"? Luck. "After I had Bronx I lucked out. I mean, I'm 24 years old. I have the genes from my mother and I did work out for three months." [The Sun]
• "A Night Out With Holly Madison" reveals that she calls a vodka and water "The Skinny Bitch," and later announces: "Chicken fingers are seriously, like, my favorite food." [NY Times]
• Kelsey Grammer says the cancellation of his TV series Back To You may have contributed to his heart attack in 2008. "When they examined my arteries, there was no blocked arteries. I had no cholesterol buildup. I had an event that they think was stress-related." [UPI]
• Madonna's boyfriend, model Jesus Luz, would like to be a DJ. [Page Six]
• Just a reminder: Vanessa Hudgens plays Sa5m in Bandslam, but the 5 is silent. Her character "is an emo girl who speaks slowly because of a stutter, resembles Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club and is ostensibly the female lead, Ms. Hudgens argues to the contrary." [NY Times]
• Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough: Broken up. They will "remain friends." [UPI]
• Tracy Morgan and his wife Sabina have been married for 23 years, but reportedly spent the last eight living apart. Morgan has decided to file for divorce, maybe because he took some cornbread behind a middle school and got it pregnant. [TMZ]
• Lady GaGa says she wore that Kermit coat as a statement: "I thought it was [a] commentary on not wearing fur, 'cause I hate fur and I don't wear fur." Naturally, now PETA would like for her to pose nude in an ad campaign. [TMZ]
• Cheech Marin married longtime girlfriend Natasha Rubin over the weekned. [People]
• If you do nothing else today, for the love of Kirk, read this William Shatner interview. It's crazyinsane. A snippet: So what is your relationship with Conan really like when the cameras are off? "It's great, he folds me into his arms and I come up to his belly button. So I suckle on his belly button and he holds me close." [Time]
• Just what your Monday morning needs: An anecdote about Mick Jagger's penis. [Page Six]
• Whatshisname says Whatshername is disgusting because she let her four-year-old son see her in bed with her new lover. [The Sun]
• "Because I'm pretty everybody thinks I'm stupid. But you don't have to play a victim. You have to show who you are to make the others come to discover you." — Monica Bellucci. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I don't sit there and think 'well I did Confessions of a Shopaholic and now I've got to go out and do Chekhov.' If the next one that comes along happens to be another romantic comedy and I find something in it that appeals to me then great. I operate on almost no system at all." — Hugh Dancy. [Independent]
• "I had a conversation with one of the scientists, and I was saying how I interviewed some [little] kids. I asked him what his opinion was, because I was like, 'Oh, it's really sweet, their idea of love is so pure.' And he was like, 'They don't really understand what love is because they haven't got their hormones and they haven't had sex and they haven't had that many relationships.' And I'm like, it doesn't mean that you can't experience love. Just the fact that you've been in one relationship doesn't devalue how you feel about someone. One of the couples in the film met when they were fourteen and their parents were like, 'That's puppy love.' They ended up being together for over fifty years. So I think people are biased against age." — Charlyne Yi. [Nerve]
• "She knew that I wanted to paint and make music. Eventually she said: ‘do it!' She encouraged me to go forward without fear . So it's all thanks to my wife, who knew that I had done a lot of acting over the years and suggested maybe it was time to start doing something else." — Anthony Hopkins, who has an exhibition of his paintings in Tuscany and also composes orchestral work. [Daily Express]
• Q. Does it feel odd to be putting young designers out in the world when the fashion world is in extreme crisis? A. "I think that everything is kind of in crisis. But what are you going to do? Is everyone going to stop working? I think the best will always succeed in any world. The people who are working hard, I think they will stay out there. In terms of fashion, maybe there are things that are more needed than other things — and the things that people cannot afford, maybe those things will go. But I don't think people should stop their dreams. A lot of our designers, people who have been on in the past, not everyone is self-employed. I think the only one who has become successful is Christian [Siriano] — on their own. I think the others are also successful, not as their own brand. Which I think is also success! They are working under good design houses. Or selling on HSN or Shopping Network." — Heidi Klum, on Project Runway. [LA Times]
• "I grew up on a red dirt road with a tree growing right in the middle of it. We didn't have much, but it never occurred to me that if you wanted to do something you couldn't do it. You can do anything if you try… I came here with a curling iron, two boxes of clothes and $200 in savings." — Nancy Grace. [USA Today]
• "I walk around and don't understand why more people are not smiling, enjoying the day, why they give me stink-eye. I guess being happy must not agree with them. I do not say I am always happy, but I do strive to be cheery." — Amy Adams. [Times Of London]
• "About 50 percent [of Paper Heart is fiction]. Everything with the interview subjects is real, but the plot with Michael Cera is fiction… But I honestly was kind of questioning the idea of love. I'd dropped out of college and I'd just been doing comedy, and I'm kind of like an old lady — when I was 10 I learned how to knit — so, most of my friends would go to clubs [to meet people], but I don't go to clubs or bars because I don't drink. So there was this fear of, how would I meet someone my own age? It's not that I doubted other people's love. It was just about my own concern of whether it could happen to me." — Charlyne Yi [WaPo]
• "You know when you first discovered a hamburger and then you can't live without it? That's what it's like for me with her" — Ashton Kutcher on his love for Demi Moore to Gotham magazine. [Page Six]
• "I'd rather staple my eyelids shut than watch Gwyneth cook." — Bethenny Frankel. [Gatecrasher]

• Lindsay Lohan is on the cover of Elle UK — the shoot where jewelry went missing! — and here's what Editor-in-Chief Lorraine Candy writes in her Editor's letter:

"Lindsay Lohan wrote me a note during this month's cover shoot. It read, 'Let's do it again some time.' I've put it on my office wall because, in all honesty, I don't know if I could. This was the most unpredictable, and confusing cover shoot in my magazine career. First, Lindsay was about to arrive. Then she was in Paris. She was almost on set, then she disappeared into her hotel room. She was ready for her interview, then she had to have a fake tan! But we got there. And what we got was amazing. This shoot is truly original, just like Ms Lohan herself. In the end, she did her job brilliantly and, I hope you'll agree, so did we." Here's video from behind-the-scenes at the shoot [Elle TV]

• Chris Brown will be sentenced on Wednesday and appear on Larry King Live afterward: He'll apologize for assaulting Rihanna on TV. [Radar Online]
• Was Chris Brown forcibly removed from an upscale bowling alley in NYC last week for "partying too much"? [Fox 411]
• Take note: Tom Cruise is David and Victoria Beckham's "relationship guru." [Daily Express]
• "David Beckham is to star alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger in TV ads promoting California to tourists." [The Sun]
• Ryan O'Neal says of Farrah Fawcett's funeral: "I had just put the casket in the hearse and I was watching it drive away when a beautiful blonde woman comes up and embraces me. I said to her, 'You have a drink on you? You have a car?' She replied, 'Daddy, it's me - Tatum!' I was just trying to be funny with a strange Swedish woman, and it's my daughter. It's so sick." Tatum O'Neal says: "That's our relationship in a nutshell. You make of it what you will." [The Sun]
• Vanity Fair produced two different covers for its September issue: Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. These deaths bumped a scheduled Mad Men cover, so now the actors from the show will be inside. Boo. [WWD]
• This paper spoke with the grandmother of the Samantha Burke, woman that Jude Law got pregnant. Delores Burke, 80, says: "What I want to know is how a girl gets pregnant in this day and age? Yes, it takes two people but he is the older and wiser man and he should have made sure nothing like this happened. I'm mad at him, we all are. He has other children. Didn't he think about how his actions would affect them?" [Daily Mail]
• "Samantha, her mom, and her family can affirm that Jude has been responsive and supportive throughout the relationship and pregnancy, and know that he will remain so as a father once Baby Sophia is born." [People]
• Video of Samantha Burke talking to the media at the link. TMZ]
• Apparently Samantha barely had any boyfriends, hence the headline: Prude Until Jude. [The Sun]
• A source says: "Jude sleeps with so many different women. A lot of names were going around as to who the mother of his baby could be." [Page Six]
• Jude's ex, Sadie Frost, is the oldest of 10 half brothers and sisters and mother of four kids from two marriages, so she's "understanding" and wants her kids with Jude to meet the new child. [Mirror]
• Jude Law allegedly told Sadie Frost that he only slept with Samantha Burke once, after a drunken party. [Daily Mail]
• Jessica Biel sings! She's playing Sarah Brown in Guys and Dolls at the Hollywood Bowl, and says she would love to to go Broadway: "That is one of my eight-year-old dreams. That's like my little eight-year-old inside me is cartwheeling around, thinking about that idea." [AP]
• Mariah Carey's new CD will have ads. Actually, the CD booklet will be a 34-page mini magazine in co-production with Elle… with ads from Elizabeth Arden, Angel Champagne, Carmen Steffens, Le Métier de Beauté and the Bahamas Board of Tourism. [BrandWeek]
• Paris Hilton's estranged manager Jason Moore is hopping a book about how he molded this blond piece of clay into a global icon." [Rush & Molloy]
• Dr. Conrad Murray was getting $150,000 a month to be Michael Jackson's personal physician. But many of his previous patients were low-income. "There are many, many patients that thank God this man was here for them," says one. One patient said Murray performed angioplasty on him three years ago without ever being guaranteed he would be paid. [CNN]
• If you have $30 million or so, you can big on the Andy Warhol portrait of Michael Jackson, going up for auction soon. [BBC News]
• Jon & Kate Plus 8 will not become Jon & Kate Plus Dates. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Leslie Mann says her husband Judd Apatow gives her anecdotes to tell while she's promoting new film Funny People: "He has trained me to be ultra-prepared, to have five stories ready to go. He gives what I say a beginning, a middle, and an end. Whereas I'd just barf it out," she says. "It's really lazy of me to depend on him to make me sound sensible, but so what? I'm lazy." [The New Yorker]
• Milla Jovovich: Getting hitched for the third time; filmmaker Paul W.S. Anderson is her fiancé. [Daily Mail]
• Tilda Swinton and 40 other people are pulling a film screen through the Scottish Highlands "on an eight and a half day odyssey through the mountains, camping each night in a different village." [Guardian]
• In this interview, Diane Kruger says she is a "country girl" and "definitely not sophisticated." The reporter writes: "What utter hogwash! Kruger spent most of her childhood summers on a scholarship to the Royal Ballet School in London, then five years as a top-drawer international model, based in Paris, before becoming a film actress." [Times of London]
• Liev Schreiber says kids make you youthful: "I'm older physically, but spiritually much younger." [People]
• Kate Middleton, aka Prince William's girlfriend, has had a series of meetings with Sir Richard Branson, in an effort to "sharpen her business acumen." [Daily Mail]
• Editors at British magazine Pride are apologizing for manipulating comments made by Nia Long, which made it seem like she was ranting about Beyoncé's acting skills. [Daily Express]
• Liza Minnelli will not be on Ugly Betty, but she will be on Drop Dead Diva. [AP]
• Whoops! Emile Hirsch and an Emile Hirsch impostor both attended the same party. [Page Six]
• Eric Bana is hot and talking about his attraction to cars. [Daily Mail]
• Sienna Miller on GI Joe: "If these films are well done I can find them quite entertaining. But…I prefer indie, arty films really. It's not the kind of film I'd normally go and see." [Guardian]
• In addition, Sienna's GI Joe wig cost cost £4,800. [Telegraph]
• Carey Hart says he and Pink are going to have a baby… Eventually. "She still has another 18 months of touring, and I'm pretty heavy in competing again in all my businesses, so it's definitely going to happen, but just not anytime soon." [E!]
• Q: A character with special needs or a prostitute-those are usually the two paths to Oscar. Had you considered that? Hugh Dancy: "I genuinely didn't. But now that you've said that, if it doesn't work out for me with Adam, I'll play a hooker next. There was the worry that if we didn't pull this off, I would look doubly exposed. Like, 'Really? You thought that was going to work? Better luck next time! There's this great prostitute movie coming out-maybe you should give that a shot.'" [BlackBook]
• Kevin Costner and his band were set to perform in Canada when suddenly the stage collapsed. One person died and at least 60 people were injured, including 2 members of Costner's band. [TMZ]
• Funny interview with Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter, at the link. [BlackBook]
• Sheree from The Real Housewives Of Atlanta seems psyched that she was the number one trending topic on Twitter last week after her "Who's gonna check me, boo?" argument. She says: "You don't want to be on the wrong side of Sheree. You really don't. I tell them all the time, 'Don't let the cute face fool you!'" [E!]
• He's done Ali G, Borat and Brüno.What will Sacha Baron Cohen do next? How about a Eurovision music mockumentary? [The Sun]
• Kathleen Turner spills about living the last 17 years with the pain of rheumatoid arthritis, taking steroids which made her puffy and bloated and then turning to vodka to kill the pain — and becoming a drunk. [Daily Mail]
• Omarosa will be on TV One in a new series called Life After. [WaPo]
• "In Cold Souls, opening Friday in limited release, the actor Paul Giamatti plays an actor named…Paul Giamatti." [LA Times]
  
• Billy Joel is "distraught" over his breakup with Katie Lee Joel and "obsessed" with getting her back. [Page Six]
• People you may or may not have hear of had a kid: "Survivor & Amazing Race's Rob and Amber Become Parents." [People]
• Hollywood is out of ideas, part MCDXLIV: Steven Spielberg will direct a remake of Harvey, about a man and his friendship with an invisible six-foot tall rabbit. The original flick was released in 1950 and starred James Stewart. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Will Ferrell has left the film project Neighborhood Watch. [Variety]
• Dustin "Screech"Diamond: purposely excluded from the Saved By The Bell reunion by his castmates. [NY Daily News]
• Whatshername will celebrate her divorce with a televised "party extravaganza." [The Sun]
• Whatshername is on "yet another" holiday, and her cagefighter boyfriend is with her. [Daily Mail]
• Whatshisname has been crying himself to sleep and wishes he were stronger. [Mirror]
• "They did try to submit in the comedy category in the '90s and suffered from doing it in an era of juggernaut comedies like Friends and Seinfeld and Cheers and whatnot. And The Simpsons was as well written, if not more so, as any of those — but suffered from the prejudice against the medium. So I think perhaps in reparation for that, they should give them an honorary achievement Emmy." — Seth MacFarlane. [LA Times]
• "At 21 I married Luc Besson and we bought a beautiful 13-room chateau in Normandy. I was totally happy, drinking wine, walking in the forests and riding horses in the beautiful farmland. It didn't work because he was so much older. I was young and staying up late, playing the guitar and hanging out with my friends. He was the early riser who went to sleep early. He expected me to be the perfect wife, which was natural - the hostess entertaining his friends. But I was like, 'Aaaargh! I don't even like those people.' It's too bad it didn't work because he was an incredible person and I was an incredible girl, but the timing wasn't right." — Milla Jovovich. [Daily Mail]
• "I think Hillary Clinton is one of the most amazing women of this time. I don't know her and I don't know — should I call her? I'm sure she's busy. But I know they know this movie's being made. And I just want to call and say: Do you have any thoughts or feelings I should be aware of? Of course I can't make that call. I feel like saying, 'I'm going to play you in this movie and I have a lot of respect for you and is there anything you want me to say?'" — Hope Davis. [LA Times]
• "Whatever I say, I get myself into trouble." — Sienna Miller. [Guardian]
• "When I'm not working, I feel like a Ferrari in the garage. You have all this potential and you just want to break out." — Glenn Close. [LA Times]
• "I would talk my wacky language to him and he'd interpret it to the drummer. I'd say, 'I want it to sound like Zeus woke up from a nap and he's pissed and there's an opening in the clouds and he starts handing out lightning bolts,' which is crazy, but that's how I hear the rhythm. And Omar, he whispers some things to the drummer, and that's exactly what it sounds like. It really encouraged the songwriter within me." — Juliette Lewis, on recording her band's new album, produced by The Mars Volta's Omar Rodriguez-Lopez. [Reuters]
• "I have a theory that people feel as attractive as they did as a child. I was a really hideous child. People who were attractive as children have a sense of entitlement. I have a sense of awkwardness." — Kate Beckinsale. [Times of London]
• "Troy launched me but it launched me as the face that launched a thousand ships and not as an actress. I want roles where I have to expose my soul." — Diane Kruger. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I have never come across a female character that is written with Blanche's level of complexity, in that she's vulnerable, she's pathetic, she's a monster, she's nasty, she's tender, she's kind – she's so many things that you never know quite what she's going to do next. I've never come across so rich a character before." — Rachel Weisz on being in A Streetcar Named Desire in London. [Telegraph]
• "My life has gotten more surreal in stair steps. from the blog to the book to the movie to 'Oh my God, Nora Ephron's directing it! Oh my God, Meryl Streep's in it!' So right now I'm at this sort of surreal-is-the-new-normal phase. I'm cool with it." — Julie Powell, whose blog became the movie Julie & Julia. [NY Daily News]
• "I'm so not the relationship go-to girl. But I'm much clearer about what a relationship is, which is why I will never marry again. Gabriel and I have a great partnership and a lovely daughter. But I once was stupid enough to say, in a previous relationship, 'I'm going to be with this person for ever,' and realized, as I grew, that I don't know if for ever is possible. Gabriel and I don't look at our relationship in terms of for ever, we look at it as right here today. And today means being the best people we can be, the best parents we can be. It's wonderful, but neither one of us feels the need to attach ourselves to each other for life – because it may not be that." — Halle Berry. [Daily Mail]
• "I hate alcoholics and AA. If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze" — Roseanne Barr to Heeb. [Page Six]

• Jennifer Lopez "threw a fit" when guests were late to her 40th birthday bash:

"An Evening With Lola" was supposed to be perfect — Lola is Marc Anthony's nickname for Lopez, and she entered the party to the song "Whatever Lola Wants." Bu there were empty seats when the dinner started and Jennifer was "fuming." [Gatecrasher]

• Rihanna and Chris Brown: In the same NYC hotel for about two days. "It was just a coincidence" and they never saw each other. [NY Post]
• Jon Gosselin: "I care about Kate Major, she resigned from her job for me. Right now, my focus is on my relationship with my kids. My personal relationship is private." [E!]
• But! Jon says: "At this point ... I'm single – per se. I'm just a regular guy who just wants to have friendship and good times. And I like meeting people." Uh, what? What about Hailey Glassman? "She's always a good friend of mine. Her family is so good. They took me in and I lived there for a while. I love them to death." Okay, so are you together? "We are going to chill out for a while and see where it takes us. I'm not looking for anyone." And what about Kate 2.0? We are just friends." [People]
• Jon shopped Madison Avenue and spent $950 on one pair of shoes. [Page Six]
• Kate Hudson! Alex Rodriguez! Kissing! At Yankee Stadium! [NY Daily News]
• Were Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart forced to be apart at Comic-Con, since the focus was supposed to be on Kristen and Taylor Lautner instead? [E!]
• It's official: Nadya Suleman has signed a reality show deal and each of her 14 kids will earn $250 a day. Taping begins September 1. [Us Magazine]
• Kate Moss has signed up to be a judge on Simon Cowell's new battle of the bands show, which attempts to discover an unsigned group. [Mirror]
• Carly Simon was a surprise guest (via speakerphone) at Simon Cowell's 50th birthday on Saturday and joked that "You're So Vain" was about him. [The Sun]
• Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul are still trying to wring more money out of American Idol. [LA Times]
• David Beckham had yet another confrontation with a fan during a Los Angeles Galaxy match; this time some dude allegedly dissed Victoria. "What he was saying about my wife was a disgrace," Bekcham says. [BBC News]
• Because he doesn't have more pressing things to worry about, Amy Winehouse's father Mitch has recorded an album with some Frank Sinatra covers and his own songs. [The Sun]
• Now that they're divorced, Blake Fielder-Civil is talking about the time Amy almost died in his arms from a drug overdose. [Daily Mail]
• LeAnn Rimes and husband Dean Sheremet are separated. This news comes right after last week's Midweek Madness revelation that LeAnn and Eddie Cibrian are still having an affair. Eddie's wife says she and her husband are "taking some time apart." So make of it what you will. [Us Magazine]
• Dean's Twitter reads: "Thanks to everyone for all the support through a very difficult time!" [People]
• If you want to read some "what went wrong?" speculation about LeAnn and Dean's relationship, go ahead. [People]
• Robert Plant was in a car crash but he's okay. [Telegraph
• Orlando Bloom has decided not to appear in the next Pirates of the Caribbean film; because everything "tied up nicely for his character Will Turner." [Daily Mail]
• Farrah Fawcett left her estate — a couple of million dollars — to her son, Redmond, but nothing to her "long-term lover" Ryan O'Neal. [Daily Mail]
• PETA hearts Hayden Panettiere. [Page Six]
• BREAKING: Adrian Grenier buys drinks for ladies. [Page Six]
• Candy Spelling is communicating with Tori Spelling via TMZ now. [TMZ]
• Leslie Mann says being married to Judd Apatow has its perks: "I haven't had to audition in a while. I'm the worst auditioner ever. And no, I didn't have to audition for [Funny People]." [USA Today]
• Michael Jackson's "secret Norwegian love child" claims his mom was employed at Neverland as a nanny; while his dad was a driver. Sing: The kid is not my son. [Daily Mail]
• "Michael Jackson's strenuous rehearsal schedule was causing him to lose 5-6 pounds a day, according to his nurse Cherilyn Lee." [MSNBC]
• Ugh: Seems like Dr. Conrad Murray gave Michael Jackson Propofol, left the room, and when he returned, Michael was dead. He did CPR, but it didn't work. Paramedics wanted to pronounce MJ dead at the house but Dr. Murray wanted him taken to the hospital, where even after doctors gave up, Dr. Murray continued CPR. Strange behavior for a doc. And if all this is true then OK! had a picture of a dead body on its cover. [TMZ, TMZ]
• Dr. Tohme Tohme has revealed that he has turned over "secret" money given to him by Michael Jackson for the purchase of a home in Las Vegas. [Mirror]
• Peter Jackson says he's about 3 or 4 weeks away from turning in a draft of a script for The Hobbit. [LA Times]
• Something about Katherine Heigl and her costar's penis, in that romcom that came in well below the guinea pig movie at the box office this weekend. [E!]
• True Blood season 3 teases at the link. [EW]
• Plus! True Blood video: Anna Paquin, Alexander Skarsgård, and Stephen Moyer speaking in their real accents. [EW]
• For next year, Lost is bringing back characters from season one. "Just trust us," executive producer Carlton Cuse asks. [Reuters]
• Meet the new Real Housewife Of Atlanta: Kandi Burruss. [CNN]
• Protect your ears: Carrie Prejean sings. [TMZ]
• Javier Bardem turned down the role in Oliver Stone's Wall Street sequel, and now Josh Brolin is being offered the part. [Deadline Hollywood]
• "Is John Travolta cracking up? It's not just grief - and guilt - over his dead son that are tearing the actor apart." [Daily Mail]
• Boy George was blocked from becoming a Hare Krishna because of his homosexuality… in the late '80s. [Daily Express]
• It's too early for a Joe Francis video about bribing and girls. [TMZ]
• "Rachel Hunter is leaving Los Angeles and returning home to New Zealand to get over being dumped just weeks before her wedding," [Daily Express]
• Billy Bob Thornton's estranged daughter: Free on bail. [UPI]
• An arrest has been made in connection to the death of American Idol contestant Alexis Cohen. [TMZ]
• Katie "Jordan" Price didn't get a role as a "naturally sexy" large-breasted Irish nanny in the Sex And The City movie sequel. [The Sun]
• Retro gossip: Bob Dylan wanted to make sure he got paid when he did a screen test for Andy Warhol. [Page Six]
• HBO scored highest among 15 networks for its representation of gay characters last season, according to a report released today. [AP]
• "I've hugged those breasts. There aren't many people who can say that." — Allison Janney on Dolly Parton. [Page Six]
• "It feels really good to be able to buy a place by myself. It is time for me to move. I have lived in a condo and it's just time. I've always wanted to buy a big house myself and it is so gratifying to be able to." — Kim Kardashian. [People]
• "Surgery was a success, now I just have to let it heal. I am totally jazzed that they found the problem, fixed it and in about four months my hand will feel like I am 18 again." — Eddie Van Halen. [UPI]
• "I didn't want to act. It wasn't like I was waiting in the wings, like All About Eve. It was a refuge, and I found to my surprise that I liked these people." — Hugh Dancy. [NY Times]
• "Years ago one of my mentors, Orson Welles, told me, 'A career is made not by what you do but by what you don't do.' But so much about these past few years has been about saying yes, and it's really paid off." — Cybill Shepherd, who will play a former witch on the new ABC series Eastwick, based on The Witches Of Eastwick. [NY Times]
• "I always look at a script and say, 'Can I do my thing? Can I pop?' If it's a small part, can I pop, can I make an impact with this part? . . . I don't want to be pegged as something definitive. I want to be chameleon-like." — Kyra Sedgwick. [LA Times]
• "She's so smart we wanted her to find a cure for AIDS or something. We were pretty firm about her finishing her education but when we saw how talented she was we finally said okay." — Blythe Danner on wanting daughter Gwyneth Paltrow to do something other than acting. [Daily Express]
• "I was student council president. I even had my own office. I was a cheerleader, too. I found out about cheerleader camp and heard that there were about six guys and 3,000 girls, so I signed up. It was a precursor for a rock-and-roll career." — what Chris Isaak was like in high school. [WaPo]
• "If we're going to do a Rescue Me movie, and I joked about this a couple of years ago when they brought it up … and I said, 'What if we do a Rescue Me movie, so it's the Rescue Me cast, but they're not firefighters and it's a zombie movie.' And they were like, 'What?' And I was like: 'How cool would that be? It's the Rescue Me cast, but it's a zombie movie.' And they were like, 'No.' And I was like, 'Well, that's the only way I'm doing it.' Like 'Shaun of the Dead, like a funny, real scary zombie movie. … They didn't go for it." — Denis Leary. [UPI]
• "No one in my family watches it. My wife, my mum, my sisters; they've never watched it. I don't think it even occurs to them." — Dominic West, on The Wire. [Telegraph]
• "The No. 1 demographic of high school dropouts are Latino women. I know there are economic factors for why young Latinos are so undereducated, but it also starts with what we place importance on as a culture. We have to empower the next generation to accept education as a way up, and I believe you have to start with the women so they can pass it on to their kids." — America Ferrara, at a commencement speech for Kaplan University. [UPI]
• "I kicked some major butt. It was many, many, hours, days, and months of stunt training and strength training, but it's fun because I had a goal. The goal was the Lycra catsuit." — Scarlett Johansson on preparing for her "unforgiving" Black Widow costume. [People]

• Helena Christensen is one of the many hailing British Vogue's Alexandra Shulman. "Obviously I am of the same belief," said the supermodel photographer. "Aren't we in a business that is supposed to explore all kinds of shapes and silhouettes?" [WWD]

• H&M is famous for its sought-after designer collaborations. Matthew Williamson's of this summer being just the latest in a long, mostly successful, line. But the Swedish fast-fashion giant has never brought a high-profile shoe maker on board — until now. Behold: Jimmy Choo for H&M. Jimmy Choo accessories collections for women and men will be in 200 stores November 14. [Reuters]
• Designer Malcolm Harris, of the label Mal Sirrah, hung up on Angelina Jolie when she rang to inquire about one of his dresses. Twice. Harris thought it was a prank; Jolie still bought three of them for $225 apiece. [P6]
• So how did designer Zac Posen get ready for the CFDAs? "I was on Perez Hilton all day." [The Cut]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy are getting hitched, and, no surprises here, Danes is choosing her favorite designer (and CFDA date) Narciso Rodriguez to make her wedding dress. The actress says the process is "intimate" and often makes her "weepy." [People]
• Rodriguez even whipped out a needle and thread to repair the train of Danes' dress at the CFDAs after a fellow guest stepped on it and it ripped. [NYDN]
• Kanye West went on a $5,000 spending spree at a Chicago store called Deliciously Vintage. With no lady in sight while he shopped, speculation is rife as to who'll get the haul. Amber Rose? Kanye himself in the privacy of his own multi-million dollar home? Rife, we say. [TMZ]
• Vera Wang was unwilling to confirm that she would be on the next season of Dancing With The Stars at the CFDAs. "They approach a lot of people, not just me," said the designer. As for going on the show, "We haven't decided. They haven't and I haven't." [The Cut]
• Esteban Cortazar, the young Colombian designer who has helmed the troubled house of Ungaro since 2007, says he is still at the company. Despite rumors of an acrimonious split, and a lawsuit on the part of Cortazar, at the CFDAs he told journalists "I am still there," but admitted, "We are trying to work things out. We have had some differences but hopefully things will work out for the best, whether I am there or not." [WWD]
• Agyness Deyn, says an anonymous friend, is considering quitting modelling and moving back to London to pursue roles in British indie films. [Mirror]
• Karl Lagerfeld made his transition into film — assuming we're not counting the excellent doc Lagerfeld Confidential — by providing the voice for an animated kid's movie villain. The designer apparently worked hard through take and re-take, bringing his famous perfectionism to bear on the character of a bitter ex-model who kidnaps people in order to "fabulous" them, or turn them into his own image. "He was very serious about it and very open to criticism," said his spokesperson. [WWD]
• Super-stylist Nicola Formichetti: "I hate the whole idea of celebrity in America. It's so boring — all fake smiles and big business. It seems like you can sell crap if you put a famous name on it. America's crazy, you know?" [The Cut]
• Eddie Van Halen's held a copyright on the famous red, black and white striped pattern of his Frankenstein guitar since 2001. So how did it end up adorning the soles of a bunch of Nikes? The rocker's lawyers sure wanna find out. [WWD]
• Sales are so bad at the Gap that the company might use a different advertising agency for its holiday campaign, after a seven-year unbroken streak with the same house. [AdAge]
• Also agency shopping: Zappos. [BrandWeek]
• Check out the new Isabel Toledo exhibit at the Museum at FIT on video. Ms. Toledo and her husband are on hand to talk about their history in fashion, and that dress that Michelle Obama wore that one time on the Mall. [The Cut]
• Aeropostale, one of the mall chains whose business isn't hanging by a thread during the recession, plans to launch P.S., a new line for 7-12-year-olds. [WWD]
• MTV VJ Alexa Chung once said of her retirement, "Modelling gave me a distorted body image. As soon as I stopped, I realised how ridiculous it all was. I went on about it because I was really fed up with modelling –- it's like I was saying negative things to reinforce in my mind that I had to get out. I never say or think those things now. I've used up all that neurosis –- there's none left. It's just really boring. I'd rather have a bigger brain than smaller bones." Apparently, Chung still models — when the project suits her. She's turned up in the look book for quirky L.A. label Wren. [Fashionista]
• A worker at London's Oxford St. Topshop flagship has a confirmed case of the H1N1 swine flu virus. The store reportedly sees over 200,000 visitors a week. Topshop has no plans to close it. [Racked]
• Giorgio Armani is set to unveil his latest scent, Idole d'Armani, next month. Polish actress Kasia Smutniak will be the face of the brand. [Reuters]
• Calvin Klein designers Italo Zucchelli and Francisco Costa defend their racy billboard against the pearl-clutchers of SoHo. (Or something.) Said Costa, "There was no intention of making that controversial. Just make beautiful ads. And they're beautiful ads. And I think, you know, we're such a forward society, but we tend to be a little prudish sometimes. It's New York City! It's the 21st century! Honey, we have to move on!" Zucchelli called the ad "In the best tradition of Calvin Klein," and said, "It's my favorite campaign ever! ...Everyone needs to be scandalized and screaming. That is what we want." [The Cut]
• The economy goes one way, shoplifting statistics go another. [WWD]
• Sophia Kokosalaki is moving to helm Diesel's Black Gold line. [WWD]
• After the hash-up of a bankruptcy auction, eventual owners of the Filene's Basement chain, Syms and Vornado Realty, say they want to proceed with their purchase as quickly as possible. [WWD]

• Looks like Lindsay Lohan's stalking paid off: Her new Twitter message says:

"Leaving London but with my favorite favorite!!!" Then she was photographed at the airport with… Samantha Ronson. And another Tweet from LL reads: "Great news to share!! Maybe .... ;)" [People, The Sun]

• Lindsay and Sam were seen holding hands while walking into the first class lounge. [Daily Mail]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are finito, which means Megan will have to get that tattoo removed. And! Megan may have hooked up with sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson, after which he blew her off. Dramz! [E!]
• Madonna may be able to adopt Mercy after all?!?! A source says: "The paperwork is being typed up now." [Mirror]
• A "friend" of Madonna's says: "She made a promise that she wouldn't give up on Mercy and, believe me, she could move mountains when she's this determined." [Telegraph]
• By the by, someone has paid more than £15,000 for that lovely Peter Howson painting of naked Madonna and thuggish-looking Guy Ritchie. [The Star]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy: Definitely engaged. [Page Six]
• Hold on to your panties, here are ten life-changing words: Simon Cowell remake of Saturday Night Fever starring Zac Efron. [Telegraph]
• What is Chris Brown afraid of? He's been seen "surrounded by bodyguards" at all times lately — as many as five. [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus had to say goodbye to her main man, Justin Gaston, because she's heading off to Georgia to film a Nicholas Sparks movie. A post on the 16-year-old's Twitter read: "'my heart is in two... and its all because of you.' a song i am starting to write :)" As for 20-year-old Justin, his Twitter says: "Haven't been this miserable in a looong time." Remember, kids: Absence makes the heart go wander! [Us Magazine]
• What a difference a day makes! Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt now claim that the reports of torture are "false and inaccurate." One thing is for sure: These people know how to get their names in the paper every damn day. [People]
• Oh, God: When the show is over, Heidi Montag will launch a dry-shampoo line. [JustJared]
• A Yankee insider bitches: "First we dealt with all the Madonna mayhem, now we're on to Kate [Hudson]. It's distracting." [MSNBC Sccop]
• Kate Hudson and A-Rod left a club separately so no one would think they'd been together. [Page Six]
• Today in "crazy cat lady" news: Susan Boyle will take her beloved kitty Pebbles with her on tour. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ugh, if you're interested in this, it's here: David Carradine's ex-wife reveals his "shocking" sex secrets — tying himself up, drowning himself and tattoos and piercings. [Radar Online]
• Kelly Bensimon is off the hook regarding that assault case in which she allegedly hit ex-boyfriend Nicolas Stefanov in the face: the case was dismissed when Stefanov didn't show up to court. [E!]
• More Real Housewife gossip: Countess LuAnn de Lesseps was seen making out wit h a guy in his 20s; Kelly Bensimon was seen nuzzling with Gerard Butler. [Gatecrasher]
• After getting hit by scenery on stage at the Tonys, Bret Michaels suffered a fractured nose and had to have three stitches in his lip. [Gatecrasher]
• Congrats to Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford, who gave birth to a baby girl last night. [Radar Online]
• Olympic gymnast and Dancing With the Stars champ Shawn Johnson is mulling an offer to star in a film for kids. [E!]
• David Letterman: About to sign a deal to continue hosting the Late Show for 3 more years. [Reuters]
• On the movie Nine: "'It was an amazing experience,' says Fergie, who plays a prostitute. 'It was all about the character, not about me, so I could gain weight and not be self-conscious about it.'" [USA Today]
• Prince Harry is supposedly dating TV presenter Caroline Flack, and she supposedly calls him by the codeword "Jam," because he's got jam-coloured hair and he's sweet." [The Sun]
• Gossip and rumors from the set of the Robin Hood movie: Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott are "squabbling," ; Crowe had to go on a crash diet to lose 35 lbs because a producer said "We can't have Robin Hood looking more like Friar Tuck" ; they're totally not singing that oo-de-lally song. Boo. [Page Six]
• Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas will leave their home on Bermuda to work on projects: He's starring in a movie about Liberace (?!?!) as well as the Wall Street sequel. [Telegraph]
• Last week, Nadya Suleman bashed Kate Gosselin; this week, she feels bad about it. "I kind of self-reflected on why I did that, and I felt really guilty," Suleman says. "I was annoyed. I was fed up. I was probably misplacing my frustration about all of this invasive media crap onto her." Or: You missed the attention. Just a thought! [MSNBC]
• Canceled NBC show My Name Is Earl might live on — with new episodes on TBS, the network which airs its repeats. [Reuters]
• Househunting in London: Sacha Baron Cohen. [The Sun]
• A hearing date has been set for Howard K. Stern — to determine if he must stand trial for illegally supplying Anna Nicole Smith with prescription drugs. Things begin in August. [Reuters]
• Twilight author Stephenie Meyer has ditched her MySpace account. "It was a lot of fun while it lasted," she wrote on her official website. "With MySpace no longer in existence, I can now clearly state that...there is no other outlet where I communicate with people online," Meyer continued. "I do not have a Facebook page, and I have never had one. I don't do Twitter. So if you're communicating with someone online that you think is me, it's not." [E!]
• Additional Twilight news: Disney star Selena Gomez and hunky native werewolf Taylor Launter: Splitsville. [UPI]
• TV chef Gordon Ramsay called Aussie TV journalist Tracy Grimshaw a pig and a lesbian; she's calling him an "arrogant narcissist." It's a mess. [News.com.au]
• Gordon Ramsay says the insults he made were "blown out of context." [Mirror]
• Kelly Clarkson says she sympathizes with Susan Boyle: "She's from a small town, I'm from a smaller town. You have to focus on the people that are really positive around you. It takes time." [The Sun]
• Liam Neeson is in talks to play Hannibal in the big-screen adaptation of A-team. Bradley Cooper might play Faceman. No word on Mr. T's involvement, but I pity the fool who thinks he can replace him. [Variety]
• Bryce Dallas Howard has written a drama called The Originals, "an ensemble film about a group of twentysomethings who reconvene for a weekend in New York after learning that the teacher who shaped their childhoods has fallen into a mysterious coma." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• The wife of baseball player Barry Bonds has filed for legal separation. [TMZ]
• Phil Spector's wife says he is being treated "worse than an animal" in jail. It's not supposed to be enjoyable… [NME]
• Uh, what? "Children as young as five were 'confused and worried' after teachers played them a recording of Elton John's 'Your Song' in an effort to explain homosexuality." [Mirror]
• A silver menorah which once belonged to Sammy Davis Jr. failed to sell for $9,000 at auction. The Candy Man can't generate cash? [NY Times]
• Blind item! "Which dreamy-eyed actor is embarrassed to admit he's hooking up with a hard-partying starlet?" [Gatecrasher]
• "They wouldn't have my character back on the show. My character was born out of the '90s. It's a different era now." — Andrew Shue won't be on the new Melrose Place. [Gatecrasher]
• "I think I'm either naive or insane to play her - maybe a little bit of both!" — Anne Hathaway on playing Judy Garland on Broadway. [Gatecrasher]
• "Kids are not to be used as weapons. Deadbeat moms that sleep all day, seeking money, attention like 2 do so. Just hurts the kids in the end. Giving birth 2 a child doesn't make u a good mom. Taking care of them, loving them, waking up with them, spending time with them does." — Travis Barker's been Twittering not-so-subtle hints about his feelings towards Shanna Moakler. [Perez]
• "She would have a plan on arrival anywhere and would be carving the best out of life and every situation and every person. She wasn't as much a passenger as I am, which made us great companions in life... because every driver needs a passenger and every passenger needs a driver. So it's a big loss in my life." — Uma Thurman on Natasha Richardson, to Harper's Bazaar UK. [Daily Express]
• "Everybody's making it like there's all this tension, you know, like I stepped away from the band and now they're jealous of me, and look, maybe there is a little bit of that. But some fights aren't really what they seem." — Gwen Stefani on reuniting with No Doubt. [Mirror]
• "It's one thing when you have an infant. But when you have this three-year-old going, 'Mommy, what's the deal?' it's harder. Kingston's whole thing is, 'I need, I need.' He is insane right now. We're just hoping for the best and that he's not going to turn out to be a freak, but we'll see." — Gwen Stefani, on being a working mom. [Mirror]
• "Gwyneth is one of the most intelligent people I know. So motivating her to do something is not the issue. Learning to dance and get that lung capacity and endurance was the hardest part for her. She (complained) about the cardio. To this day, if she at all has had filming days, she'll always do it, but it's like, 'Ugh, we have to do the cardio.'" — trainer Tracy Anderson. [USA Today]
• "I have always carried around in my mind, that he would ultimately be seen as a heroic figure. But I'm maybe kidding myself." — Michael Emerson, aka Ben Linus on Lost. [Mirror]
• "Yes, she's never played a mother and she's playing a mother of three in this movie but that didn't scare me. I knew she was up for it. I'm more proud of her performance in the film than I am proud of things in my life." — Nick Cassavetes on Cameron Diaz in My Sister's Keeper. [Daily Express]
• "Lately, I've been in meetings regarding a new script idea I have. A studio executive asked me to change the female lead to a male, because... 'women don't go to movies.' Really? When I pointed out the box office successes of Sex and The City, Mamma Mia, and Obsessed, he called them 'flukes.' He said 'don't quote me on this.' So, I'm telling everybody." — Nia Vardalos. [HuffPo]
• ''People see me and they're like, 'Oh, you're so much prettier in real life!' And I'm like, 'Well, thanks.' It's definitely narrowed the opportunities, which is a bummer because... I want a job! I didn't enter this biz because I thought I was a supermodel. I entered because I liked finding out what makes people laugh.'' — Rachel Dratch, who doesn't exactly deny the rumor that she was supposed to be on 30 Rock, but the network wanted ''hotter'' actress Jane Krakowski instead. [EW]
• It's hard to believe you're still on the D-list. "I have proof although I'm flattered at the suggestion that I could even be a C-minus. Recently, I was on tour and they delivered me a sandwich and it said Taffy Griffin. Now, I'd like to think that's maybe what they thought my stripper name was, but no. My name was on the marquee. Sold-out show. Taffy Griffin. I'm on the D-list where I belong… What is tough for me as a D-list celebrity is that kind of puts Speidi and me in the same category and that hurts. That's a bitter pill for me to swallow." — Kathy Griffin. [AP]
• "I don't have to defend myself. What can you do against something that is totally different from what you really think? It was hard to live with that, because I'm not the person described in that ridiculous story. I was not happy that this story could hurt people. But I felt sorry for those French journalists-that was the thing. I felt sorry for journalism, in general. We live in a world where there is so much information, but what I said was taken out of context. It's so common for someone who gives interviews to say that, but a cliché becomes a cliché because it's true. Some of it was funny: the part where I thought that man didn't walk on the moon? Man, please! It's so ridiculous… I talked about being fascinated by Internet conspiracies, because they are fascinating. And I asked a question like that: 'Did man walk on the moon?' Because the conspiracies are out there, not because it's a question I believed." — Marion Cotillard, on the statements she made about September 11. [BlackBook]

The Good: Does this couple ever just stay in and watch TV? They have become such red-carpet fixtures! That said, Claire just gets better and better: she's got her formula of demure, restrained elegance down to a T.


The Good: Blake Lively has a natural talent for looking fun and unfussy.


The Good: Is there a touch of the Dune about Helena Christensen's getup? Darn tootin'.


Misshape: Here's the thing about Leigh Lezark. Her clothes are actually totally uninspired. But the rub is, she does work 'em. And the lady looks good!


The Bad: There's plenty to like about Vanessa Fitzgerald's individual components. But in sum the disharmony of the aesthetic has Ruskin rolling in his grave. Yes, Ruskin reads Jezebel.


The Problematic: Julia Restoin-Roitfeld is obviously stunning, and has the world's closet at her command - but even she can't triumph over the inherent awkwardness of her wearable cootie-catcher.


What Say You? Molly Sims embraces her earthier side. Do you?


In principle, loving the idea of Rose McGowan going all Betty Catroux. But the proportions give me pause. What Say You?


The Ugly: Looking at Terence Koh, can you wonder that this category secretly means "the most triumphant?"

[Images via Getty]

The Good:
I was on the fence about Isla Fisher's mini - I'd probably have done a different shoe and, let's face it, maybe tights - but her vintage clutch somehow pulls the whole thing together.


I'm not, as a rule, boy crazy. But I am a Hugh Dancy girl. And this dates from seeing him play a ravaged WWI officer on Broadway, because I'm high-brow like that, although in fairness it was his work in The Jane Austen Book Club that cemented my love. Long story short: he is very handsome.


Sarah Cawood's getup may be costumey, but as we know, that's not always a bad thing!


The Bad:
Jo Wood's Blue Curaçao overload is enough to put one off "The Marlin" (it involves rum, maraschino and citrus) forever - and that's tragic.


VV Brown's bold matador-stewardess from the future has a definite majesty to it. Maybe it's the regal shade.


Nicola McLean demonstrates a truly appalling pants lapse.


What Say You?
When it comes to Beverley Knight's mini: nice use of print, or better as upholstery?

[Images via Getty]

Confessions of a Shopaholic, which opens today, is based on a pair of popular novels by British author Madeleine Wickham, which follow the adventures of compulsive shopper Rebecca Bloomwood (Isla Fisher). After being downsized, Rebecca makes a shopping pit stop and fails to show up for an interview at her favorite fashion magazine. Somehow, she winds up getting a job at the personal finance magazine Successful Savings. She creates a hit column even though she knows nothing about finance, winning praise from her coincidentally rich and handsome editor, Luke (Hugh Dancy).

The movie was filmed before the economy got so bad that Suze Orman was forced to appear on Oprah every few weeks to admonish Americans to break their shopping addiction. Now, a film celebrating irresponsible credit card use may seem distasteful, but some critics say it's the only thing that saves Confessions of a Shopaholic from passing into romantic comedy obscurity. Not that the film really teaches any lessons about paying off your debt. Rebecca overcomes her financial problems by lying and cheating rather than realizing there's something wrong with her designer clothing obsession. However, some critics feel that the outfits costume designer Patricia Field picked for Rebecca are so hideous that they are a lesson in and of themselves that overpriced designer fashions bring neither happiness or beauty. Below, the critics weigh in on whether Confessions of a Shopaholic is worth the price of a movie ticket.

Time

Perhaps, then, it's a good thing [shopaholics] have been commemorated in Confessions of a Shopaholic, a movie adaptation of Sophie Kinsella's series of novels about a shopping-obsessed, debt-ridden young English journalist named Becky Bloomwood (Isla Fisher). As a romantic comedy, it is forgettable. But as an ill-timed anthropological artifact, Confessions offers weird pleasures, not least among them the fact that it makes us root for the debt collector.

USA Today

Confessions of a Shopaholic is like a sale item that catches your eye simply because of its garish color, atrocious style and startling uselessness. Not only is it an unfunny movie shrilly told, it probably is the most ill-timed and appallingly insulting movie in recent memory.

Time

[Isla Fisher's] charms are enough to keep the movie - entering the marketplace just as the country's financial situation becomes truly dire - from being criminally distasteful. She's got that rare gift for making slapstick seem organic. Confessions runs her through the chick-flick moves of endearment (walk into glass, run in high heels, spill food on self and others), but there are a few scenes where she cuts loose and we get to see her Lucille Ball–style warmth and wackiness ...

The movie's other saving grace is that Becky has absolutely hideous taste. Whether this is intentional, only costume designer Patricia Field knows for sure. What Carrie Bradshaw might have pulled off, Becky sinks under. Colors, plaids, accessories, boots - it's all garish; she doesn't wear or carry a single appealing object for the length of the movie. This is oddly comforting. We're officially 14 months into this recession, and many of us are not just tightening belts but swearing off shopping altogether. Confessions, perhaps inadvertently, assures us that being deprived of Gucci boots can be a good thing.

NPR

Like her many recent precursors - roles played by the likes of Reese Witherspoon, Renee Zellweger and Drew Barrymore - Rebecca is just too cute to be defeated. Ultimately, she'll walk defiantly past boutiques, and the display-window mannequins will applaud her resolve. Audiences may not join in the ovation. Inside Confessions of a Shopaholic,'s narrative bubble, Rebecca appears blithe and charming. Whenever reality intrudes, however, she looks more like a self-serving Wall Street CEO, squirming at a congressional hearing.

Entertainment Weekly

[Rebecca Bloomwood] is a role you would imagine might be filled, with cheesy-klutzy charm, by Kate Hudson or Sandra Bullock. But Fisher has her own brain-working-a-mile- a-minute adorable magnetism, with eyes that widen like a naughty child's and a smile so vivacious it could light up the next three rooms. Breathless and petite yet powerfully in-your-face, Fisher combines dizzy femininity and no-nonsense verve in the manner of a classic screwball heroine. She's like Carole Lombard reborn as a tiny angel-faced dynamo.

The Observer

We critics have to decide how worshipful we should be toward this flaunting of high fashion while pretending to ridicule it. It's the old Hollywood game of having all your luxury goods, and pretending that they don't bring happiness without true love. That sacred duty is assigned to Hugh Dancy's Luke Brandon, a Brit workaholic magazine editor who is taught to relax in a warmer climate by the irrepressible shopaholic herself. If I understand our president correctly, workaholics are more needed now than shopaholics. But let's be fair. Not too long ago, it was the duty of American consumers to shop until they dropped, and no one warned them of the dire consequences to follow their splurges of extravagance.

The Washington Post

It's all quite silly, and easy, and Confessions of a Shopaholic would never be called out by the rom-com umpire for not touching every base on its way toward home plate. The romance between Luke and Rebecca is a glacial-but-inevitable development, and Rebecca's relationship with her friend Suze (the wonderful Krysten Ritter) is full of inebriation and inadvertent rockiness.

Salon

Although Shopaholic is targeted at women, it also seems to have a remarkable contempt for its female characters — most of whom appear to have the maturity and smarts of a petulant 8-year-old. When Bloomwood pretends that a debt collector is a stawkerish ex-boyfriend, a nearby secretary inexplicably chimes in: "I was once stalked ... by a dog." Bloomwood's roommate (Krysten Ritter) giggles and flounces around their technicolor apartment, and the women Bloomwood encounters at sample sales scream and claw at each other like feral cats.

Slate

Lucky for the movie that Isla Fisher is so likable, because Rebecca Bloomwood is a real dud of a human being: a vain, shallow, materialistic twit who abuses the trust of both her endlessly forgiving boss and her enabling roommate, Suze (Krysten Ritter). The character's moral trajectory over the course of the film makes no sense: She's rewarded over and over for poor performance, and when her comeuppance does arrive, it's so brief and easily overcome that the message seems to be: When in dire financial and personal distress, charge one last cute outfit on your credit card and lie like crazy.

• Claire Danes and her boyfriend, actor Hugh Dancy, are engaged to be married. Both Jordan Catalano and Brian Krakow are extremely bummed right now. No word yet on how Tino feels about all this, though.[People]

• Drew Barrymore and ex-boyfriend Justin Long may not be on the best terms: "Drew came up to Justin and started whining that he kept ignoring her," says a source, "He was apologizing and saying that he didn't see her but seemed really annoyed and . . . not that into her."[PageSix]
• Are Natalie Portman and Ryan Gosling dating? [LaineyGossip]
• Rhianna is helping a 5-year old fan find a bone marrow donor: "When I saw the video of Jasmina it broke my heart. It is so unfair that for a black patient it's so much harder to find a bone marrow match,"Rhianna says, "Jasmina has acute leukemia and she needs a bone marrow transplant to live." [People]
• Isla Fisher confesses that she's actually not much of a Shopaholic: "I've never been a shopaholic myself," Fisher says, "And I hope people aren't offended by this display of excess. Because it's based on books that came out long before the economic crisis, with so many young couples in difficulty. My heart goes out to them." [ShowbizSpy]
• Is Lipstick Jungle leaving NBC? Star Lindsay Price says she's heard rumors of a move: "Bravo or Lifetime...That's what they're saying...Or they're talking about maybe doing what they did with Friday Night Lights-airing on DirecTV and then later on NBC."[E!]
• Liv Tyler says that she and her father, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler, aren't as close as they once were: "In the past few years we haven't been very close. He has been going through a lot of things on his own and he has not been the… he hasn't been around that much for us," Tyler says, "So that's been hard. But I probably shouldn't be talking about this."[DailyMail]
• Kids' hoodies from Gwen Stefani's Harajuku Lovers line have been recalled, as the drawstring through the hood could cause a strangulation hazard. [NYTimes]
• "I know this will be my most favourite performance ever and I'm going to do everything I possibly can to make it the best one, but I think M.I.A. might one-up me by having her baby onstage. It's going to be so awesome."- Katy Perry [DailyExpress]
• If you're dating Jennifer Aniston, prepare to be taped: the actress saves messages from past relationships. "I still have the cassette tapes of messages from my first boyfriend, my second boyfriend, my husband. It's like saving love letters."[TheSun]
• Is Michael Lohan too broke to blog? After announcing he was no longer blogging, but not explaining why, a "Failure of Payment" notice was posted by the site's webmaster. Whoops! [JustJared]
• Sad news: Emmy-winning actor James Whitmore, who played Brooks in The Shawshank Redemption has died of lung cancer at the age of 87. [E!]
• Pete Doherty is pretty convinced that his house is haunted: "My house is definitely haunted," Doherty says, "All of a sudden you hear a mad party going on in the west wing. It used to be the servants' quarters, which is creepy. When I hear it I just hide. It's uncomfortable but I think if I don't bother them, they won't bother me. Half the time I'm in my own world anyway."[DailyMail]
• Lisa Kudrow says she's glad she got to play Phoebe Buffay: "I think it's great because she was such a happy person," Kudrow says, "I am so pleased that I was part of the show. I always thought, once the series was over, it would fade from memory. I keep expecting that to happen but it doesn't - there are all these kids around the world who are discovering the show, and realising how funny it is. I don't think there are that many good sitcoms around any more."[DailyMail]
• Amy Winehouse is steering clear of crack...by smoking pot ten times a day. "Amy hasn't touched crack or cocaine for months. She has been really good," says a friend. "Drugs are easy to get in St Lucia but she has just stuck to smoking dope. The amazing thing is she smokes all morning then sees her personal trainer in the afternoon and is put through a gruelling workout."[TheSun]
• Jenny Craig has shot down rumors that Jessica Simpson would be their next spokesperson by praising the star's healthy physique: "Ms. Simpson has publicly stated that she is healthy, feels great and is very happy with her body. We would agree. Ms. Simpson looks fantastic and we see no reason for her to participate in a weight management program." [E!]
• Sadly, Jessica had a bad night while performing in front of 9,000 fans in Michigan, fighting tears and forgetting some of her lines: "Dear God, help me get through this tonight," Jessica told the crowd. "You probably just heard me say that; I have a weak voice and I'm feeling vulnerable tonight." According to her rep: "Jessica had an off night," her rep tells Usmagazine.com. "She's a perfectionist and wanted to start some songs over. She always wants to give the best performance for her fans."[USMagazine]
• "There's a thin line between narcissism, even if it's a healthy narcissism, and entertainment. But I chose to go on stage to be validated because I felt so bashed. If I'm not going to talk about myself in front of strangers and see if they laugh and understand, then what's the point of it? I don't want to tell people, "Did you ever notice this about Kmart?" I don't want to tell anyone how they think or what they see. That's what happened to me. I take a great pride in three things as a comedian: the premises are real, I'm prolific, and I feel strongly that who I am on stage is the same as who I am off."- Richard Lewis[HuffingtonPost]
• Subway has forgiven Michael Phelps for smoking up, and has welcomed him back as a sponsor: "Like most Americans, and like Michael Phelps himself, we were disappointed in his behavior," Subway rep Megan Driscoll says, "Also like most Americans, we accept his apology. Moving forward, he remains in our plans." [USMagazine]
• Robert Pattinson is totally addicted to coke, you guys. Um, Diet Coke, that is: "I was just taking out my trash and I had, like, 300 cans of Diet Coke," Pattinson says. "It was just like, 'How did that happen?' I don't even remember buying them. I also like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. My addictions are pretty much the only things I consume." Translation to crazy-ass fans: "I don't drink blood, I'm not going to bite you, and I'm not really Edward Cullen."[ShowbizSpy]
• Emily Blunt says she had to sneak in doughnuts to the set of The Devil Wears Prada: "I was being watched like a hawk, but by the end I'd be sneaking in doughnuts just to annoy the producers." Aww, that's kind of like how I'm always making "glasses" out of two chocolate donuts, just to annoy my friends. Celebrities! They're just like us! [ShowbizSpy]

[Los Angeles, CA. January 31. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[Los Angeles, January 21. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Ischia, Italy; July 15. Image via INFDaily]

[Naples, Italy; July 14. Image via INFDaily]