It's Official: HPV Vaccine Doesn't Turn Teens Into Whore Monsters

New research today from the Department of Oh My God Why Does This Study Have To Exist — turns out, vaccinating teenage girls against HPV won't cause them to go from innocent children drawing pictures of flowers with crayons to unstoppable slutzillas. Sort of like how wearing seatbelts doesn't cause car accidents, or…
No, Really — the HPV Vaccine is Mostly Safe!
Gardasil is mostly, probably, almost definitely safe, according to a new study that included almost 200,000 girls who'd received at least one dose of the quadrivalent HPV vaccine which is marketed by Merck & Co. and protects against four strains of HPV. Researchers did, however, find evidence of two unpleasant side…
HPV Vaccine Is Already Leading to ‘Herd Immunity’
A new study suggests, albeit with very tentative optimism, that the HPV vaccine Gardasil may offer benefits even to women who don't get inoculated through a phenomenon known as "herd immunity." (No word yet on when this herd immunity is going to start protecting that one lonely wildebeest that gets left on the wrong…
Bishop Bans HPV Vaccine in Catholic School, Because Cancer Prevention Turns Girls into Sluts
One would think that out of all the things in this great spinning, swirling, Shake Weighting world of ours, cancer prevention would be the one cause that everyone — no matter what funny hat they think God told them to wear — could get behind. But one dogged Canadian Bishop has bravely gone against the grain, fighting…
Most Girls Aren't Finishing the Required Series of HPV Vaccines
The HPV vaccine is extremely effective at preventing the women from developing cervical cancer, but it requires a series of three shots, ideally all given within a six-month window. Unfortunately, according to new research very few of the young women who receive the initial vaccine are following through and completing…
Your Future Just Got a Little Less Pap Smeary
Ever since the Republicans began waging their backwards little War on Women, all the talk about between-the-legs matters has focused on the evils of contraception. So it's been easy to forget that there are other dangerous things that can happen to our lady parts besides rampant sluttiness. One of them is cervical…
Oral Sex More Dangerous for Dudes
One in ten men are orally infected with the human papillomavirus, the nasty microscopic villain that can cause cancer of the genitals or throat. Because it's tough to test for the virus without a tissue sample and most of the infected don't know they have it, many don't think they're at risk for HPV-caused throat…
Is The HPV Vaccine Encouraging Girls To Abandon Safe Sex?
According to some troubling new headlines out today, the HPV vaccine may make girls think they can forget about practicing safe sex because they're protected against all the nasty stuff lurking in other people's bodily fluids. Yet, just last week, parents were being assured that the vaccine doesn't turn little girls…
HPV Vaccine Side Effects Do Not Include Sluttiness
The HPV vaccine is pretty scary stuff. For starters, you probably heard from your aunt that this lady told Michele Bachman that it totally made her daughter "mentally retarded." And even if those who get the shots don't end up like that poor girl no one was ever able to locate, the vaccine is rumored to transform…
Staying In School Could Protect You From Mouth Cancer
Mouth and throat cancer have been making news lately because of their link to HPV. Now there's evidence that patients' level of education could affect their risk of dying from these diseases.
What's The Protocol When It Comes To Telling Your Partner You Have HPV?
It seems like every day there's another article on HPV-most recently, we've learned that the Human Papillomavirus is linked to throat cancer, might cause heart disease, and that Michele Bachmann is an asshole (okay, and some good news, too: the CDC recently recommended that boys as well as girls be vaccinated against…
Another Day, Another Awful Ailment Linked To HPV
HPV has already been found to cause cancer of the cervix, vulva, penis, anus and throat, but if the virus fails to take you out using any of those methods, it may just give you a heart attack. Though the research is still in its primary stages, scientists have found evidence that suggests HPV might give women heart…
Women Can Effectively Test Themselves For HPV
A new study found that women can check themselves for HPV with a test that's about as effective as the method doctors use. It's unlikely that your gynecologist is going to encourage you to replace the Pap test with an at-home speculum-free procedure anytime soon, but the test could have a big impact for women in…
More Confusing Recommendations For Your Cervix
Get ready to update your gynecological scorecards, because now we have yet another recommendation on what should be happening to your lady business every year. While more and more doctors are using tests for HPV, an influential federal advisory panel has announced it won't endorse HPV screening and only recommends Pap…
California Minors Now Allowed To Get STD Vaccines Without Parents' Permission
California Governor Jerry Brown just signed legislature that allows minors in the state to receive anti-STD vaccines without parental consent.
