• Okay, so they're saying Beyoncé had a little armpit hair at the Cadillac Records premiere. 1) Who cares? 2) Can you even see it? [Mirror]
• A reader points out you can barely see Beyoncé's pit hair in Perez's pictures, though on TMZ, her pits seem especially hirsute. Photoshop of horrors? [Perez Hilton, TMZ]
• Surely when Kanye West said that Beyoncé is "just as great, if not greater, than artists we had in the past. She’s probably greater than Tina Turner," he had not seen this. [Perez Hilton]
• Tina Turner put on a show in New York right after being hospitalized for having a very high fever. Amazing. [Page Six]

• William Balfour, the man accused of killing Jennifer Hudson's mother, brother and nephew, is innocent, says William Balfour's lawyer. [People]
• Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil, failed a drug test, so he's headed back to prison to be Blake Incarcerated again. [Daily Mail, Mirror]
• Here's the thing: If Blake had stayed in prison instead of going to rehab as part of an early release, he'd be out at the end of the month. Now he could be in jail until 2010. Whoops! [The Sun]
• Remember how Miley Cyrus said she was "embarrassed" by her Vanity Fair issue with those suggestive Annie Leibovitz pictures? Well she told Scotland's Daily Record: "Everyone outside of America liked it a little bit more because that's more like the style, but the States are really conservative." And! "I would love to be a photographer. She was amazing and so talented and her lighting... I would love to work with her again. But I realize I'm just a kid." [ONTD]
• Madonna was in Buenos Aires yesterday, where she met with Argentine President Cristina Fernandez as well as former guerilla hostage Ingrid Betancourt. [USA Today]
• Twilight's Kristen Stewart will play Joan Jett in biopic The Runaways. Do we approve of this casting? [Hollywood Reporter]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham on her new clothing line: "Do I draw? No. Then again, nor do lots of designers. But I put it all on myself and walk around in it, and I know what feels comfortable. I know how a dress should sit. I’ve worn so many and when I see the photographs I think, crikey, my boobs are up round my neck again because the corsets are too short and not cut high enough." Ooh, and: "In these recessionary times, and at these prices, women are looking for something that will be an investment, aren’t they?" [Mirror]
• "I was never that good a singer, but I think I am good at fashion." — Victoria Beckham. [The Sun]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown are being sued by a photographer, who claims he was beaten and robbed of his $3,000 camera after taking a picture of the couple in May. Did the singers' bodyguards go ballistic? [TMZ]
• Hockey star and Vogue intern Sean Avery has been suspended by the NHL for making "inappropriate comments." He said: "I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds," referring to ex girlfriends Elisha Cuthbert and Rachel Hunter, who are both dating other players. [AP, Gawker]
• A sneak peek at the season premiere of Lost! Drama for Kate and not-so-little-baby Aaron, involving the nature of their relationship… [LA Times]
• Christina Aguilera wears a heart-shaped locket with her son Max's name on it and a tiny drop of human blood. She doesn't say whose blood it is, but does claim: "I love the symbolism of the blood droplet. It's like Max pierced my heart." [Perez Hilton]
• Naomi Watts plans to get naked in the name of art. [Daily Express]
• First Alyson Hannigan, now How I Met Your Mother costar Cobie Smulders is pregnant, too. Something in the water? [MSNBC]
• Pete Wentz admits that getting Ashlee Simpson knocked up was a "happy accident." [Page Six]
• Audrina Patridge has written a blog post in which she says: "I just want to put it on record that never did I EVER call Lauren a 'slut,' 'bad friend,' 'shady person,' etc. I simply asked her a question and that’s how she interpreted it. I didn’t go around town running my mouth either." Plus: "Justin and Lauren treating me like I wasn’t worthy of an explanation was almost worse than the rumor itself, and it only got worse the harder I tried to get a genuine answer." And! as for JustinBobby: "His inexcusable behavior has become somewhat expected at this point. And I just want to say that if I were looking for a serious relationship, I would definitely be looking elsewhere!" [People]
• Zoolander sequel: Good idea? Not sure. Me and my friends have been too busy sunbathing off the southern coast of St. Bart's with spider monkeys for the past two weeks, tripping on acid. Changed our whole perspective on shit. [ONTD]
• CBS has a midseason series called Game Show In My Head, a reality show produced by Ashton Kutcher. Contestants must perform "embarrassing and hilarious" tasks in front of strangers to earn cash. [NY Times]
• VH1 is ordering up 8 episodes of Tough Love, a reality series from Nancy Juvonen and Drew Barrymore's Flower Films. The premise: A group of women in a house get "ready" to meet Mr. Right by having their destructive dating habits "reshaped" at "tough love boot camp." [Variety]
• Johnny Depp's production company has acquired the screen rights to In The Hand Of Dante, a Nick Tosches novel. [Variety]
• Tyler Perry was in court over allegations that he stole the material for his blockbuster film Diary of a Mad Black Woman from a playwright named Donna West. [Yahoo News]
• Donny Osmond on gay marriage: "There are many gay individuals that are members of our church. I know many of them. In fact, some of my best friends are gay. You ask how I react regarding their marriages. Well, I do support our Church leaders who say that we can accept those with gay tendencies in our church as long as they do not act upon their temptations. Everyone has tendencies to succumb to temptation, but we all have the same standard given to us by our Father in Heaven. Whether we may be tempted to be immoral with members of our own sex or of the opposite sex, we are expected to live chaste lives." [Joe. My. God., Donny.com]
• Dylan McDermott, who married his wife Shiva Rose in 1995 and = with whom he has two children, will be single again on January 2, when their divorce is final. New year, new you. [TMZ]
• Kristin Chenoweth is working on a memoir, due in stores April 2009. [Daily Express]
• Ricky Gervais answers reader questions, and talks about the Beckhams being in an Extras special. [The Sun]
• Brandy, who has not recorded anything for four years, has a new album, out December 9. She still faces a wrongful death lawsuit which goes to trial in April, stemming from a car accident in which another driver died. Says she: "What I experienced in the past couple of years was tough, but I had to face it and find the strength to move forward. Connecting back with music has definitely helped me through everything. Once I got back in the studio, the butterflies went away." [Yahoo News]
• Julianne Hough and her boyfriend are "talking marriage" but are not engaged. [People]
• Gary Coleman was in court yesterday, facing a disorderly conduct charge from that Utah incident outside of a bowling alley. He paid $100, case closed. [ET]
• What's a Hollywood lawsuit without mentioning the name Bruce Willis? [TMZ]
• Former Playmate Shauna sand claims she was choked, punched and thrown across the room in front of her kids by her husband, Romain Chavent. She got a restraining order against him yesterday and the paperwork alleges that the Frenchman hit her in the breasts when she'd just had reconstructive surgery. [TMZ]
• Donald Trump is mad at his brother Robert, since Robert's getting divorced but failed to get a pre-nup. Ouch. [Page Six]
• "I have a passion for words. That has always been in me, and I wanted to see if I could come up with some interesting phrases. I wanted to make people laugh a little and to tell some good stories." — actor Christopher Plummer, whose memoir is "engaging." [WSJ]
• "Nobody really wants to recognize that Beyoncé is a fucking living legend." — Kanye West. [Perez Hilton]
• "Every investor and financier turned down this film because of Mickey Rourke, but I wouldn't do the film without him." — Director Darren Aronofsky, on The Wrestler. [Page Six]
• "Some actors take drugs, drink, and act crazy to light a fire within them; others take drugs, drink, and act oddly to put out the fire in them. Mickey [Rourke] is one of those actors." — Alec Baldwin. [Page Six]
• "It is fun, obviously, to kiss Beyoncé. I insisted on a lot of takes." — Adrien Brody, on his role in Cadillac Records. [Rush & Molloy]
• "I got my gig late, got married late, had my kid late – and none of it came a minute too soon. All my life I'd had this problem with following through, not feeling that I was worth it. Not having a mother makes you think, 'If only I'd been better, she wouldn't have left me.'" — Mariska Hargitay. [People]
• "I've been contemplating taking a college course in religion. I love religion. I remember whenever the book The Da Vinci Code came out, the Discovery Channel did this three-night piece on it that I TiVoed and then watched eight times." — noted scholar Jessica Simpson. [Page Six]
• "I'm planning an album of all these great songs from the '60s that I've never covered before. It was such a magical time for music - groups like The Beatles, the Hollies, the Zombies, the Kinks, the Stones and singers like Dylan and Otis Redding… I want to pay tribute to a time when I used to listen to music on my little transistor radio or on my AM radio in my Ford Mustang." — Cher. [Page Six]

• More from Jennifer Aniston, whose Vogue interview has been leaking all over the internet: "There is more to me than just a tabloid girl. This whole 'Poor lonely Jen' thing, this idea that I'm so unlucky in love? I actually feel I've been unbelievably lucky in love. I don't feel like I'm supposed to be any further along or somewhere that I'm not. I'm right where I'm supposed to be." Oh! And she also says: "I never liked Sex and the City, the kind of thing where women only feel empowered once they find the Man. It is just not up my alley. I don't believe in it. There is nothing you can control about love." [Perez Hilton]
• Oh, Jen also says when it comes to John Mayer, "People need to mind their own business." But! She gushes: "I deeply, deeply care about him; we talk, we adore one another. And that's where it is." [People]
• You know how Jennifer Aniston has a cleavage-baring red dress on for her Vogue cover? So did Angelina Jolie, for her January Vogue cover. Also? They both posed on sand! (Click to see both covers.) [The.Life Files]
• Paul Sculfor, who previously dated Aniston and is now Cameron Diaz's boyfriend, is taking Cammie home to the UK to meet his family. Christmas in England! [Daily Express]

• George Clooney on Prop 8: "At some point in our lifetime, gay marriage won't be an issue, and everyone who stood against this civil right will look as outdated as George Wallace standing on the school steps keeping James Hood from entering the University of Alabama because he was black." [E!]
• Daniel Craig doesn't hold the umbrella over his girlfriend when it rains. [The Sun]
• "Quantum of Solace is not a great movie. It's full of explosions and set pieces, and reminds everyone who sees it of the "Bourne" movies. But as a James Bond movie? It ranks far below the usual standards." —Roger Friedman. [Fox 411]
• BREAKING: A dead body was found outside of Paula Abdul's house. [TMZ]
• By the by, Mark Ronson is still sad that Amy Winehouse couldn't get her shit together enough to finish their Bond theme. [Daily Express]
• Baz Luhrmann admits that Australia isn't finished yet! "I'm going back to the mixing desk to finish it in 24 hours," he said Tuesday, just before he left for the airport. Hurry! [Reuters]
• Brad Pitt's bodyguard had to protect him from a gaggle of paparazzi at the premiere of The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, and Brad says: "Though they [the paparazzi] were exceptionally more aggressive than usual, breaking through a security barrier and into a private holding area, ultimately just another day in the life." [Yahoo News]
• Three years after the incident, Suge Knight is suing Kanye West over a shooting and the loss of a diamond earring. [TMZ]
• Donald Trump has been housing Jennifer Hudson and some of her relatives at the Trump International Hotel & Tower free of charge. "She's a great girl. And we're protecting them well," Trump says. "They are very safe." Wow, dude did a good deed. [People]
• Ouch: Jesse Metcalfe fell 40 feet, down two flights of stairs, and was knocked unconscious. He broke his leg, but an MRI shows no brain damage. This happened right after the World Music Awards, so one can't help but wonder if he was drinking… [The Sun]
• The story about Lauren Conrad throwing a fit at the airport? LC says it's false. "While it is a very entertaining story, I just don't think that highly of myself." Neither do we, dear. Neither do we. [People]
• Dear all you people who watch How I Met Your Mother: What is up with your show? First Heidi and Spencer, now Kim Kardashian. No, really. [E!]
• Kim Kardashian and boyfriend Reggie Bush love playing video games together. Zzz. [AP]
• Kevin Federline's lawyer says there won't be a hearing in family court to investigate his son's health. See, little Jayden got sick in Louisiana due to a "terrible allergic reaction" the first time Britney was allowed to take her kids out of the state since losing custody earlier this year. [People, E!]
• Mischa Barton was hounded by paparazzi outside of a club in L.A. and was very annoyed; the story takes the stance of "shouldn't she be glad people are still taking her picture?" but when you watch the video of aggro guys swarming around her, you get it: It's annoying. [E!]
• Warning: There will be full-frontal nudity in Sacha Baron Cohen's flick, Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Male. Cohen auditioned gay "adult" stars recently. [Rush & Molloy]
• UK TV presented Cilla Black says she once talked to Jennifer Lopez's then-husband, Chris Judd, and Lopez "started fuming." "She was screaming to her entourage: 'What's that woman doing with my man? Get rid of her.' It was so funny.'" [Daily Mail]
• Christina Aguilera says her son Max inspired her music: "I talk about being a super girl in the song 'Keeps Getting Better' and really that's due in great deal to the fact that I've had a complete new appreciation for women in general, for what we're capable of doing, of what our bodies are capable of undergoing, and creating." [People]
• Josh Brolin swears he heard George Bush saw W and "liked it very much." Karl Rove, on the other hand… [CNN]
• Blast from the past: Small Wonder, the robot girl sitcom. [BoingBoing]
• David Beckham has the best-selling calendar in the UK, yawn. [Mirror]
• LOL at this picture of a lady in curlers gazing upon Barack Obama. [Concrete Loop]
• Elton John and Billy Joel: On the road! Dueling pianos? Elton says: "It's two for the price of one. Our ticket prices are the same as anyone else's, but there's two of us. In this day and age, we hope to be getting people value for their money." [Mirror]
• The finale episode of TRL happens this Sunday. A huge finale show is planned; Justin Timberlake, Snoop Dogg, Kid Rock, 50 Cent, Fall Out Boy, Christina Aguilera, Travis Barker and Beyoncé will appear. [MTV]
• Joe Jonas and Camilla Belle: It's on. He's 19, she's 22. [TMZ]
• Headline of the day: "Jason Priestley on Brenda Walsh's Rumored Illness: 'That's Awesome!'" [E!]
• Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis is developing a series for HBO based on his unconventional, rock 'n' roll childhood. His dad, Spider, sold drugs and hung with rock stars on the Sunset Strip. Get a hot hottie to play Spider and this sounds like a show worth watching. [Variety]
• Spotted: Billy Corgan leaving the White House, on the same day as the big Obama visit. Secret mission? [Washington Post]
• Will Russell Crowe replace Heath Ledger in a flick called Dirt Music? Isn't that taking the casting in a really different direction? [Daily Express]
• Word association with Tracy Morgan: Waffles, vampires, Michelle Obama. Etc. [Comedy Central]
• Natascha McElhone was spotted with her newborn baby, just five months after the tragic death of her husband. Sadness. [Daily Express]
• Have you seen this Elizabeth Peyton portrait of Michelle Obama yet? [LA Times]
• News you can't use: Katie "Price" Jordan and husband Peter Andre are going on vacation, where, Jordan says, "All we are going to do is have spa treatments, relax, have sex, eat and sleep." [The Sun]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown renewed her wedding vows in a four-day extravaganza in a plush Egyptian resort. There was a swimming pool with disco lights, glitter confetti and belly dancers. A low-key affair. [The Sun]
• Martina Navratilova will be on UK show I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here. She'll totally win any tennis challenges! [Mirror]
• A Rolling Stone poll has deemed Aretha Franklin "the greatest singer in the rock era." All hail the queen! [Reuters]
• Brooke Shields is trying her very very best to be optimistic about the future of Lipstick Jungle, despite the fact that the show recently moved to kiss-of-death night, Friday: "You know, people get very nervous when they see a show that switched nights. For us, it's a positive thing. Especially with the economy — more people are inclined to stay home on a Friday night or watch television live. Or moms are more likely to stay up and watch a 10 o'clock show if they don't really have to get up with the kids. Well, kids don't sleep on the weekends, either. But at least they don't have to rush to get them to school. So I think that that's … there is that audience." Sure, sure. [NY Mag]
• Adam Sandler's wife welcomed their second child into the world, a girl named Sunny Madeline. [ET]
• Did you know that Lindsay Wagner, aka the Bionic Woman, is working on some kind of acupressure project that helps people deal with negative experiences with inner healing? [The Star]
• Paul McCartney: Revealing details about the real-life Eleanor Rigby? [Daily Mail]
• A dude who illegally posted Guns N' Roses songs online is pleading guilty of copyright infringement, uh-oh. He could get three years in prison. Welcome to the jungle! [Reuters]
• Roger Moore on the new Bond: "I'm sad that it has turned so violent." [Reuters]
• "In the middle of an orgasm, do I think 'do I have too much flab around my middle?' I mean when you are really in an ecstatic place and you look at your child’s face and you are completely happy and you have your family around you – you certainly don’t think about that!" — Susan Sarandon. [The Sun]
• "Everyone tells me that there will never be a good time, that I will always be busy, but I just think when the stars are aligned it will happen." — Janet Jackson, on having a baby. [Daily Express]
• "I write a lot of my songs for women. A lot of the songs are about things that we need to hear. Things I wouldn't really say, or I wish I could say. I'm kind of a voice for a lot of young women. I feel that women understand men a little better. I really don't feel that men understand women as much. And it's something that we go through all the time. But I also feel like we learn a lot from each other, and when we're connected it's amazing." — Beyoncé. [Telegraph]
• "Apparently she wants to be directing and that's what she'll be doing. Two directors in the family is never going to work." — Christopher Ciccone, on sister Madonna's future. [The Star]
• "I grew out of my leading boy days. It's good. It's the natural progression of things… What you can achieve on television now, and I sound like an ancient man when I say these things, but what you can do on TV now is worlds away from what we could even think of doing 10 years ago." — Josh Jackson, talking about his role on Fringe versus his time on Dawson's Creek [The Star]
• "I think she should keep her head down, work really hard and learn about governing. But I'm not anyone to give advice to anyone about anything." — Katie Couric on Sarah Palin. [Page Six]
• "Coco will probably follow in our footsteps, unfortunately. She has a really strong personality. She’s a funny, quirky kid. But she doesn’t like people laughing at her so it should be drama!" — David Arquette, on his four-year-old daughter (with Courteney Cox) getting into show biz. [Daily Express]
• "I've got to tell you, it's so vague at this point, it's so faraway in my mind, I can't even remember the darkness. I mean, in the end, we really had an amicable split. … And pretty soon after we separated, we got on the phone and we had a long, long conversation with each other and said a lot of things, and ever since we've been unbelievably warm and respectful of each other." — Jennifer Aniston, on Brad Pitt, in Vogue. [Perez Hilton]
• "Three and a half years ago a man came along and said, 'I'm going to take you to Tennessee. And he took me down there and he said, 'I think you deserved to be loved. Let me love you, let me give you a home, and let's make a baby.' So thank you, Keith Lionel. I don't believe that you can [have it all]. But I believe you can have balance. Three and a half years ago I had a wonderful career, I had two kids, I had movie offers, great directors offering me things, but I wasn't loved." — Nicole Kidman. [People]
• "I am not darker, angrier or moodier these days. In fact, it's just the opposite. All that's happened is that I've given up on trying to find a way to use unwanted media as a form of entertainment. (It still was worth a try.) A walk to the car isn't the best time to try and analyze my mood or disposition, so you'll probably always get a bad read from it. Things have changed a bit, and the decision to slide on and off your radar isn't so much my own anymore. But I'm too young to stomp my feet about it. All I can do is concentrate on keeping my heart and soul correct and then redecorate around it." — John Mayer. [People]

The Good:
Jamie King's pretty little one-shoulder is a "Good" on any terms!
But you see what I'm saying here; however unimpeachable the Little Black Dress, is it still unimpeachable if everyone — including Megyn Price — is wearing it?
Sure, Nancy Lenehan's doing "mom," but there's a time and a place for that.



The Bad:
My sources have told me this is a jumpsuit!!! As such: Bad.
I really like Kaley Cuoco's shoes; what a shame I can't get behind this unflattering, un-basic black number.
I kinda liked Alyson Hannigan's frock, but then the hanging jabot started to remind me of a trailing organ after a lion mauling and, in combo, with the color, that became all I could see every time I looked at it.
I guess pants and little top is still a uniform, but it looks chintzy on Bianca Kajlich.
As I've aged, I've realized my mother was wrong about many things. Unfortunately the dangers of horizontal stripes was not one of them. Doesn't Alex Kapp Horner have a mom?


The Ugly:
Tricia O' Kelley's tunic, thy name is Fug.

Images via Getty

• Britney is doing another episode of How I Met Your Mother. Mere weeks after Neil Patrick Harris said he didn't want the pop star back! "Our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed," he said in early April. Today's report claims "the show is ecstatic and so is Britney." [People]
  
• Prince William landed a military helicopter in his girlfriend's yard. Not exactly Standard Operating Procedure. [AP]
  
• Lindsay Lohan supported Samantha Ronson as Sam DJ'd at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone in Times Square. She danced and "really got into the music." Oh, and she was drinking. [People]
  
• Sandra Bullock and husband Jesse James were hit by a drunk driver Friday night in Gloucester, MA. No one was injured; the couple walked away from the accident. The woman driving the Subaru that jumped lanes and hit Bullock and James blew a .20 on the Breathalyzer - two and a half times the legal limit. [People]
  
• Kirsten Dunst and Ryan Gosling were making out at a New York City club. It's on. [Perez Hilton]

• There's a rumor that Paris Hilton wants to have a double wedding with Nicole Richie, so they can sell pictures from the ceremony and make millions. A rep says it's not true; we sorta suspect Paris would if she could, but Nicole ain't having it. [Page Six]
• Justin Timberlake and John Mayer attended the memorial service for Cameron Diaz' father on Sunday. A source says hardly anyone wore black to the service in Seal Beach: "Lots of people were wearing Hawaiian shirts. It looked more like a party." [People]
• Still-jailed Pete Doherty's been evicted from his nine-bedroom mansion (?!?!) because the landlord found blood on the walls and a stench from Pete's abandoned cats. [Mirror]
• Oh, and since there were reports that Pete was doing drugs in jail, authorities raided prison cells. They found stashes of heroin and cocaine. Sigh. [UPI]
• Jessica Simpson doesn't need hair and makeup people around 24/7 because Tony Romo likes her casual. Eyeroll. [MSNBC]
• Harrison Ford decided to pierce his ear years back after a "semi-drunken lunch with Ed Bradley and Jimmy Buffett, who were both wearing earrings." [Page Six]
• Madonna is asking the court in Malawi to delay her adoption hearing because she has business in the US to take care of. (Promoting her new album?) [Reuters]
• Gross! Some dude stole the bottom half of a replica of Jenna Jameson's body from an adult store in Fullerton, CA. I don't even want to know what he plans to do with it. [UPI]
• Kelly Clarkson sang for the pope, yawn. [People]
• Enrique Iglesias says he's been trying to get Anna Kournikova to marry him for years. Anna says: "I'm never getting married. Everything is good." [People]
• Pictures of Miley Cyrus in her bra are circulating? Is that legal? [Perez Hilton]
• Shia LaBeouf doesn't know how to pick up girls. [Page Six]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck is a Bret Michaels fan? LOL. The lure of the weave! [Page Six]
• Naomi Campbell: Seen smiling and being friendly at Heathrow airport. [Page Six]
• Marla Maples, 44, has been seen making out with Andy Baldwin, 31, who was on The Bachelor. Get it girl! [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse's Bond theme is "going to be a classic," sources say. Bring it on! [Mirror]
• A new biography of Heath Ledger claims Naomi Watts wanted to have his baby. [News.com.au]
• The jerk who told John Travolta and Tom Cruise that he was Heath Ledger's dad says he's not sorry because he doesn't remember doing it. Also: He has more than 40 convictions for deception, including pretending to the The Rock to get free soccer tickets. [The Sun]
• Jennifer Aniston was on Oprah's Big Give. Did anyone watch? [People]
• Jude Law's son Rafferty, 11, will play the younger version of Jude's character in a sci-fi flick, Repossession Mambo, that comes out next year. [Mirror]
• Eli Manning married his college sweetheart, Abby McGrew, in Mexico on Saturday. [People]
• Another wedding: Tia Mowry from Sister, Sister married actor Cory Hardrict in Santa Barbara on Sunday. [People]
• Waitresses from Olive Garden, naked in Playboy??!! Cue loss of appetite. [Page Six]

• A fight broke out on the set of Pharrell's new video a few hours before Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson showed up. Oh, and the N.E.R.D. song, "Everybody Nose," is about girls waiting on line for a club bathroom to do coke. [Page Six]
  
• Hey, guess who is making a cameo appearance in that video about cocaine? Your girl Lindsay! Classy. [Perez Hilton]
  
• Contrary to earlier reports, a source says Lindsay's album is on track to be released this fall. [People]
  
• As previously reported, Anne Hathaway's boyfriend, Italian property developer Raffaelo Follieri, was arrested for trying to pass a bad check for $250,000. [People]
  
• Also as previously reported: Naomi Campbell was arrested after a kerfluffle at Heathrow's Terminal 5, after a dispute involving a missing piece of luggage. Since Terminal 5 opened last week, more than 28,000 bags have been separated from their owners. Naomi is out on bail and must report to the police station in late May. [Yahoo News]
  
• There's some new strain of medical marijuana people are calling "Tom Cruise Purple" and guess whose lawyers are investigating? Spoil sport. [Rush & Molloy]

• Are Beyoncé and Jay-Z getting married today? [Mirror]
• It seems like they are! Guests must wear ivory and the location was not on the invitation. [Concrete Loop]
• Madonna's new video, "4 Minutes," is out! Watch Madge and Justin Timberlake undulate and flirt! [People]
• Officials in Malawi are backing Madonna's effort to adopt David Banda, which looks like a go — we'll know when she visits the country next week. [Mirror]
• Prince William and girlfriend Kate Middleton were seen dancing, giggling and kissing at a charity event with a burlesque theme. Is he gonna marry her or what? [People]
• Nicolas Cage has won libel action against the Daily Mail and actress Kathleen Turner over false allegations that he'd been arrested for drunk driving and had stolen a dog. [Guardian]
• George Clooney's request for a writing credit on new film Leatherheads was denied by the Writers Guild, so Clooney has withdrawn from the union. [Reuters]
• "Motherhood has never been an ambition. I don't think like that. I never have expectations like, 'When I'm 19 I'm going to do this, and by the time I've hit 25 I'm going to do that'. I just take things as they come, each day at a time, and if things happen then all well and good." — Renee Zellweger. [ONTD]
• Kate Moss and Agyness Deyn are in a spat, yawn. [Mirror]
• Scott Storch had trouble getting into a club and it made the papers. [Page Six]
• Maya Angelou is turning 80 this weekend, so Oprah is throwing her a huge three-day party in Palm Beach! Perhaps our invitation was lost in the mail? [Page Six]
• Chloe Sevigny collapsed on the way to the Nylon anniversary party she was supposed to be hosting due to a viral infection. [Page Six]
• Mick Jagger wears Nikes with platform soles so he can measure up to his 6 foot 2 girlfriend L'Wren Scott. You make a grown man cry! [Page Six]
• Heather Mills is moving to New York. Sigh. [Gatecrasher]
• Hmm, Yoko Ono is sympathetic to Heather Mills. "It's not very easy for a woman to be associated with The Beatles," Yoko says. [Mirror]
• Shanna Moakler, former Miss USA and ex of Blink 182's Travis Barker, is now datng Jay Grdina, Jenna Jameson's ex. Romantic. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which publicist for the wife of one of Hollywood's biggest old school action stars doubles as a rep for her skin-care range? A journalist who recently expressed polite interest in the line was offered the chance to buy some." [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which proud new papa cheated on his fiancée two years ago with a famous starlet? The two were hanging at a private bash in his apartment when the mood turned a little lustful." [Rush & Molloy]
• Really? More Ashley Dupre Girls Gone Wild photos? So over it. [TMZ]
• 50 Cent's baby mama wants to stay in her $2.4 million Long Island mansion even thought 50 owns the house and they split up years ago. [TMZ]
• Kelly Ripa says she's "so excited" for Kathie Lee Gifford's stint on the Today show. Babe, you're the only one. [People]
• Former ANTM contestant Yaya has been cast on All My Children. Act with your eyes! [ONTD]
• Hulk Hogan is "very happy" with his new girlfriend, Jennifer McDaniel, who is — surprise! — a busty blonde, much like his wife. And daughter. [People]
• During the first week of the Beijing Olympics, Mia Farrow will be in Darfur, protesting China's involvement in that region of Africa. [Yahoo News]
• Kevin Federline has spent $50,489 in Vegas over an eight-month period. Guess who pays his credit card bills? The "Bank Of Britney." [TMZ]
• Britney and her mom went shopping at Ed Hardy for birthday presents for Jamie Lynn — today is JLS's 17th birthday. [People]
• Will Britney return to How I Met Your Mother? [USA Today]
• Survey says: No. [ONTD]