According to Dr. Rebecca Meisenbach, who interviewed over 15,000 "breadwinning" women for the study, "Working women who provide the majority of the household's income continue to articulate themselves as the ones who 'see' household messes and needs as a way to retain claim to an element of traditional female identity." [DailyMail]

We've been talking a lot lately about the delegation of household tasks. And while the conversation is obviously rooted in history, society, a traditional gap and the burden of context, one question inevitably comes up: if women want things done right, do they have to do them themselves? As the Washington Post's Ruth Marcus puts it today, "I could delegate more to my husband, but then I'd also have to accept that pasta with store-bought pesto equals dinner. If you want someone else to step up to the plate, you have to live with what he puts on it." And she puts it even more strongly: "In fact, to some extent women are reluctant to yield dominion over the home front even as they become the majority of the paid workforce."

Of course, this doesn't really address why she's not satisfied with the same sketchy domesticity. Gail Collins touched on the same issue in her interview with Doree Shafrir yesterday when she said,

Half of the world believes it's because guys genuinely do not have as high a standard about making sure you get invited to dinner every once in awhile, or having matching socks. It's possible that guys, if they don't care, then it's very hard to impose those standards. Others argue that this is all a plot and the guys are just waiting out the women. I would go for 50-50. Clearly guys enjoy the higher standards-they just don't want to be in charge of them.

I'm not the one to ask; my boyfriend and I both come from the 'wait-as-long-as-is-humanly-possible-before-tackling-squalor' school of housekeeping, whose equality, it could be argued, is certainly a harbinger of some kind of progress - or of our generation's general lack of responsibility. Growing up, my father was indifferent - and to my mother's chagrin, would ask friends over with impunity when the house was in a state she found humiliating. Maybe that was more the core issue: she saw the state of the home as some reflection on herself; my dad did not. Of course there are Felix Ungers who are defined by house-pride and a love of domestic routine. But that's why they're a comic stock character: the trait was regarded as effete, effeminate, humorous.

Discussing the report "A Woman's Nation Changes Everything," by Maria Shriver and the Center for American Progress, Marcus observes,

Both sexes agree that women continue to bear a disproportionate burden in taking care of children and elderly parents, even when both partners in a relationship have jobs," John Halpin and Ruy Teixeira write in one chapter of the report. Here's the interesting subtext, though: Fifty-five percent of women strongly agreed (and 85 percent overall agreed) that "in households where both partners have jobs, women take on more responsibilities for the home and family than their male partners." Just 28 percent of men strongly agreed, and 67 percent agreed. That's a pretty big perception gap.

Marcus suggests that part of this disconnect is rooted in, not just self-congratulation for doing the minimum, but a sort of martyrdom. As she would have it, women want help, but also control. There is, she says, "something comforting in keeping a connection to mundane household tasks even when you're running a major-league research lab. Perhaps younger women don't feel this tug toward domesticity. But for women of my generation, there remains an impulse to live up to the standards of our stay-at-home mothers even as we race out the door each morning." I'd say younger women do, indeed, feel the tug of domesticity - but largely because it's a choice. Canning, knitting, home decor - these have become reflections of who we are rather than the other way around. And the quotidian rites of household maintenance, more than servitude, imply adulthood - which is a whole 'nother kettle of ambivalence.

The Nobel For Brisket Goes To . . .[Washington Post]

Earlier: Gail Collins: "The Revolution Will Be Achieved When No One Has To Do The Ironing"

Unfortunately, the report also found that there is still a gender gap for "invisible" household work: Women still do the majority of the management stuff, like scheduling children's medical appointments, buying gifts for birthday parties, arranging holiday gatherings, etc. Still, the overall findings in the report suggest that couples are moving towards more equitable partnerships. "The younger set of dads have their own expectations about themselves as to being helpful and participatory," says Carol Evans, founder and CEO of Working Mother magazine. "They haven't quite gotten to equality in any sense that a women would say, 'Wow, that's equal,' but they've gotten so much farther down the road."

But is the media trying to convince men that dirty dishes = potential blow job? Do men who do housework get laid more? Is it because they're not selfish jerks? Do you think we'll ever get to place where all men and women share the housework (visible and invisible!) equally? Or are there some things that will always be "the woman's job"?

Men Who Do Housework May Get More Sex [Yahoo! News]
Honey, You're Out Of Date: Why Men No Longer Want A 1950s Wife [Daily Mail]
Today's Perfect Wife: A Good Cook Who Argues [Telegraph]

Related: A Fifties Wife? No Thanks, I've Got One [Daily Mail]

Earlier: Is A Hot Guy Hotter When He's Doing Your Laundry?
The Porn Ultimatum

All the same, the results of the survey illustrate a society where the dual-income household has become the norm. 35% of men and 40% of women said that the key benefit of having a working spouse is that it alleviates the pressure of being the sole breadwinner. Of the 25% of men surveyed whose wives did not work, 40% of them wished their old lady would get a job. MSNBC added, "Of the approximately 75 percent of men whose wives did work, only 5 percent wished she was at home." Coontz says most men don't want to come home to a wife who hasn't been intellectually stimulated. They're irritated by "a wife who was frequently either bored or boring."

The only real divide that remains, according to MSNBC, is in domestic chores. Over 40% of women say they do more than their fair share of housework, and 29% of men agree. Even with women contributing more to the household income, about 50% of couples say they fight over money at least once a month. Sigh. In some ways, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Sea Change' Seen In Spouse's Financial Roles[MSNBC]
Love (And Money) Story Of Our Time [MSNBC]

I think women cook different food, and I think women cook better food. It's more from the heart and more from the soul. I look at this whole molecular-gastronomy thing, and I'm like, "Boys with toys." They're just fascinated with technology and chemistry sets. I think we make better-tasting food. I'm sorry, I know that's politically incorrect.

• Patricia Yeo: "I think men aren't as nervous about asking [for funding]. They seem to be able to say, 'Listen, this is what I want, give it to me.' Women, I think, have a harder time with it. You get notoriety because you're a woman, but do you really want the notoriety because you're a woman? You want to be known just because you are a great chef."
• Rebecca Charles "RC: It's the boys' club. It's incredible, and I never used to buy into stuff like that."
• Alex Guarnaschelli: You have to put on a pair of fishnet stockings, and you have to get yourself on television. I find myself hoping I can get on a TV show and then people from Oklahoma will come to my restaurant. Then I'll be able to make enough money to open my own place.

So yeah, essentially women have problems getting famous for cooking because cooking is housework and anyone who is too good at housework should be seen and not heard, preferably in heels and fishnets, but occasionally a dude can come along and break the mold because he knows how to talk flashy and over-analytical to other dudes while his long suffering pastry chefs roll their eyes and stare stubbornly at the sink. Kinda makes you want to forget the food altogether and smoke a cigarette, eh? Hey, it works for models! Which is still about the only career in which women make better money than men.

Top Female Chefs [New York Magazine]
Peg Bracken, 'I Hate To Cook' Author, Dies At 89 [NY Times]

Okay, so I'm totally her husband. Though in my defense, her cat seems to prefer my room. (And also: this job.) Anyway, here's today's pointless poll: does this look bad to you? And what's the point of being so clean all the time, anyway? And related: what is with the cult of the magic eraser?

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Skip Household Chores — For Your Health! [MSNBC]
Women Do Only Four Hours Of Housework A Week [Daily Mail]
They Love To Do Their Homework [LA Times]
Women's Liberation Through Housework [Washington Times]