Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!

Jessica — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 09:00:00 EST

The country's most famous teen mom, Bristol Palin, will have a boy around December 20th with fiance Levi Johnston. The as-yet-unnamed kiddie already killed a moose with his bare hands in utero. [Page Six]

Though he persistently claims that he's not a Scientologist, Will Smith gave $122,500 to various Scientologist organizations. It's worth noting that a tax deductible $122,500 for Smith is like twenty buckies to us normal folks. That lady who does Bart Simpson's voice gave the Scientologists $10 million one time! [Perez]
Last week Paula Abdul was going on and on to Barbara Walters about how Simon Cowell and the producers of American Idol deliberately made her face her stalker, Paula Godspeed, the woman who eventually killed herself outside Abdul's house. Cowell says otherwise: "All [Paula Abdul had] to say is ‘Stop filming, I need to speak with the producers.’ That didn’t happen [during Godspeed's audition]. But I only remember from what I saw [in news clips],” Simon says. [People]
Jeremy Piven is leaving the David Mamet show Speed the Plow months before the end of its scheduled run. His flack claims that it's because Piven's discovered he has a high level of mercury, to which Mamet responded, "My understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer.” [NYT]
The shooting death of Mark Ruffalo's brother Scott has officially been ruled a homicide by Los Angeles police. [TMZ]
Earlier this week, Madonna's flack Liz Rosenberg issued a report that Guy Ritchie had received in the neighborhood of $80 million dollars in the couple's divorce. Almost immediately afterwards, Madonna and Guy said that that Liz was a big liar and that her statement was "misleading" and "inaccurate." Today, Liz is covering her ass with a new announcement from the couple: "A misleading and inaccurate statement, specifically in relation to the sums of money involved, was wrongly issued to AP this week. The financial details of the settlement will remain private, save to say that both of us are happy with our agreement. Our primary concern, like any co-parents, is the care and well being of our children." [Jossip]
Richard Dreyfuss is suing his father and uncle for nearly $4 million in unpaid loans. It's going to be a FUN Christmas at the Dreyfuss house! [The Star UK]
More family feuding: Whitney Houston's step-mother is suing her for money she claims Whitney improperly kept after Houston's father, John, died in 2003. [AP via Yahoo News]
Like mother-in-law Blythe Danner earlier this week, Chris Martin is disavowing divorce rumors. "I'm trying to think of when the last bit of bad news was. Well there hasn't been anything for a while. I'm supposed to be getting divorced but those things aren't happening so don't really count as bad news," the Coldplay star says. [Contact Music]
A foreclosure company has stepped in to help pay Ed McMahon's mortgage, so the aging star won't get booted from his posh Orange County digs. [TMZ]
Aw, Dustin Hoffman is a proud papa: "[MY kids] get mad at me for telling everyone about their accomplishments or for finding cute girls for my sons. But even though they love to hate me for it or cruelly imitate me, I can't stop bragging. They are my true credits." [Page Six]
Stars are sharing their worst xmas presents ever with Cindy Adams. ""My most awful present as a teenager was a calculator," Michelle Williams said. "Every year I seemed to get the same stupid thing from a relative. I never used one of them." [Cindy Adams]
Will Ferrell is going to play George W. on Broadway as a not-so-fond farewell to our 43rd President. The review will be called "You're Welcome, America: A Final Night With George W. Bush," and hits the B'way on January 20th. [NYDN]
Eminem may keep a low profile these days, but don't worry, he's still the same old asshole. He tells Esquire, "I'm a T-shirt guy now. But wifebeaters won't go out of style, not as long as bitches keep mouthing off." [Esquire]
Here's what Nick Cannon ex Christina Milian had to say about Cannon's marriage to Mariah Carey: “I was surprised like everyone else. I was like, ‘Really?’ It just seemed like a weird match, but I was happy for him. I always feel Nick works hard to get what he wants, whether that be women—that’s how he got me.” And then Mariah came in and shanked her with a giant enamel butterfly. [Just Jared]
Emma Watson is worth $20 million and she still takes the subway. "I have a more normal life than people expect. When I take public transport, people are like, 'That girl looks like the girl from Harry Potter, but it can't be her on the tube.'"So then she takes out her Quidditch broomstick and shows them a thing or two. [USA Today]
In a last ditch effort for popcultural relevancy, it looks like the new 90210 is mining an old feud for ratings: Brenda vs. Kelly. "Now that it's out that Brenda's been boinking Kelly's boyfriend Ryan (that whore!), the tension is most assuredly building up to a bona fide Kelly-Brenda smackdown." Dramz! [E! Online]
Laura Bryan used to be married to Hootie and the Blowfish guitarist Mark Bryan. They divorced, and she just got remarried…to Hootie and the Blowfish drummer Jim Sonefeld. There's a blowfish joke to be made here but I'm not up for it this early in the morning. [WaPo]
Tennis star Lindsay Davenport is expecting her second child. "Of course, this unexpected but exciting surprise now means I will be putting tennis on hold for the foreseeable future," Davenport says. [UPI]
Eddie Murphy will play the Riddler in the next Batman movie alongside Christian Bale's broody hero. [Telegraph]
16-year-old Frances Bean Cobain is checking out a $6.5 million New York City pad. It must be said: if Courtney Love were your mother, wouldn't you want to live across the continent? [NYP]
Though the fourth installment of the Terminator movies has not even hit screens yet, producers are already gearing up for a Terminator 5. Action hack Christian Bale is already locked in for the distant fifth Terminator movie. Let us reiterate: please drop that damn breathy hero voice Christian! We can't take you seriously when you talk like a low rent Darth Vader! [UPI]

Oprah Pushing The Finding-A-Moral Agenda A Little Too Hard

Jennifer — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 18:55:29 EDT

Oprah's golden retriever Gracie died in May after an unfortunate choking incident and still Oprah is talking about it, only now she's putting that Oprah-branded spin on it saying that Gracie's death was really a hidden message that she needed to slow down and take more time to appreciate her own life. Seriously, we don't even have a response to this. [USA Today]
Oh yes: That's what's missing in the EU — machismo! [BBC]
Memo to People magazine: Please do not ever ever put that Jenny McCarthy eats nachos as an item under the tag "breaking news". Ever. [People.com]
Not shocking: Republicans don't want to pull out (from Iraq). But they don't want to give a Plan B either. Draw your own conclusions from this heavy-handed metaphor. [CNN]

The Island of Britain, scientists have discovered, was created over 200,000 years ago by massive flooding. We think that's just past the timeline for which Al Gore can drop one of his global warming "I told you so!'s." [BBC]
President Bush has called for the establishment of a new panel to review new safety precautions for imported foods. He says this is totally not all about China. Even a novice in Bush-speak knows that "no" always means "yes," so sorry, China, Bushie has it in for you! [CNN]
Anyone else skeptical that North Korea seems to be volunteering for nuclear disarmament a little too easily? [NYT]
Breaking news! Hootie and the Blowfish have delayed the start of their summer tour! Wait a second — Hootie and the Blowfish are still around? How the fuck is that possible? [USA Today]
1 U.S. casualty identified. [DoD]

Jezebel: hootie and the blowfish

Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!

Oprah Pushing The Finding-A-Moral Agenda A Little Too Hard