Shane Ryan, creator of classics like Amateur Porn Star Killer and Sex, Kids, Party, says that the film will handle her story with care: "We're trying to figure out a way to do that so it's not exploitative." • Prosecutors have decided that a 59-year-old man from the UK probably did murder his wife in her sleep, as his defense has claimed. Brian Thomas dreamt that his wife was an intruder, and strangled her to death. Prosecutors, persuaded by expert testimony about automatism and sleep disorders, are now arguing for a ruling of not guilty by reason of mental insanity - the alternative being a "simple verdict of not guilty." • Back in June, New York State decided to allow researchers to pay women for their eggs for stem cell research. But many fear that this policy will take advantage of underprivileged women, since donating eggs is not without risks. • The March of Dimes' Premature Birth Card has graded the U.S. a "D" when it comes to preterm birth rate. Not a single state was awarded an A, and only Vermont was given a B. • Government researchers report black women are twice as likely as white or Hispanic women to suffer a stillbirth, partly due to higher pregnancy rates and because African-American women are more at risk for high blood pressure, diabetes, and pregnancy complications like uterine bleeding and premature rupture of the sac surrounding the fetus. The racial gap is even wider between more-educated women. Higher education is linked to a 30 percent reduction in stillbirths among white women, but no reduction in risk among African-Americans. • An interesting new study from the University of Pennsylvania found that children who are insensitive to fear are more likely to grow up to be criminals. Researchers examined toddlers, measuring their sweat output to determine fear. Years later they pulled the records of participants, and found that toddlers who did not sweat in response to a loud noise were more likely to have a criminal record. •  A government watchdog group has asked the Office of Congressional Ethics to investigate whether Michele Bachmann violated house rules by organizing the November 5th Tea Party rally. • Wanda Eileen Barzee, the woman accused of helping her then-husband kidnap Elizabeth Smart, has plead guilty to charges of kidnapping and unlawful transportation of a minor. The terms of her plea agreement have not yet been made public. • According to a children's charity, Britain lacks the resources to protect thousands of young girls vulnerable to being forced into sexual slavery. Only 20% of local authorities have the specialist sources to intervene, said the chief executive of Bernardo. • A 21-year-old Army mom may face criminal charges after she skipped a deployment flight to Afghanistan in order to stay home and care for her infant son. Alexis Hutchinson's attorney says her superiors ordered her to place the child in foster care and resume service. •  Several organizations are trying to get more British girls to ride bikes, but the campaigns focus too much on looking good while cycling, according to an editorial in The Guardian. One site called Bike Belles actually advises girls to, "Use waterproof mascara when it's raining on your bike, and take a powder compact for a quick refresher on arrival." • Burkittsville, Maryland, the town where The Blair Witch Project was filmed, had to design new welcome signs because people keep stealing the ones that were shown in the movie. • Hooters Las Vegas lost millions of dollars this year and now the company has received a notice of default from its lenders. The company is trying to restructure, but maybe frat boys just don't have as much money to throw around these days? • A New Jersey high school student is suing her school because administrators wouldn't let her participate in the Pro Life Day of Silent Solidarity, an annual worldwide protest. She wanted to remain silent on October 20, except when called on in class, wear an armband with the word "life" on it, and hand out anti-abortion pamphlets. "The school district basically held that there is no religion allowed in school, which violates the students' First Amendment rights," said her lawyer. • On Saturday, a French woman was allowed to marry the father of her two children nearly a year after his death in a car accident. She stood next to his picture while she recited her vows. "I'm not really in the mood to celebrate," she said afterwards. "We're going to drink a cup of coffee and I will thank those who have supported me." •

The other twin continued to grow, living inside Kang's stomach and crushing her internal organs. Doctors say this condition is very rare, but Kang is recovering well from her surgery, and is going to be just fine. • Self magazine has ranked the top 10 healthiest cities for women, based on disease rates and other factors. Topping the list is Burlington, Vt., which boasts a large number of co-ops and organic food options, as well as low rates of diabetes, cholesterol and hypertension. •  According to a doctoral thesis out of Spain, students aged 11-16 have generally resigned themselves to bullying. They believe that it is "something natural" and has always happened. They also found that girls viewed bullies differently than boys. Girls tended to empathize with the victims and associate negative feelings with the bully, while boys focused more on the shame of being a victim. •  Researchers have discovered a rather odd link between morning sickness during pregnancy and cognitive ability. Apparently, children whose mothers suffered from nausea and puking tend to score slightly better on cognitive tests. Doctors believe hormone levels may be to blame. • Devout Muslim Rabia Sarwar allegedly tried to slit her new husband Sheikh Naseem's throat, saying he's emotionally abusive and made her drink alcohol, eat pork, and wear revealing clothes. He's unharmed, and she's been charged with attempted murder. • The American people apparently have as low an opinion of Sarah Palin's qualifications as they did of Dan Quayle's. • Also, Iowans can relax: Palin isn't giving a speech in your state... yet. • The US currently bans people with HIV from entering the country, meaning there hasn't been a major AIDS conference here since 1993. However, Obama says he will reverse the ban next year. • Rev. Bernice King, Martin Luther King Jr.'s daughter, will become the first female head of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, which her father helped found. • An Iraqi man accused of running his daughter over with a car because she had become "too Westernized" has been found in Atlanta after a search. • A study found that Swedish mothers who ate more vegetables during pregnancy were less likely to have children with type 1 diabetes. No word on what happens to babies whose moms eat a lot of Swedish fish. • Hillary Clinton's meeting with Pakistani women today went poorly, perhaps because she modeled it on "The View" — or perhaps because she joked about "not talking about security issues," while the Pakistani women want to talk about... security issues. • Pat Robertson responded to Obama's signing of the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act, which would allow hate crime prosecution for crimes based on sexual orientation, by saying, "The noose has tightened around the necks of Christians." Because not letting Christians persecute gay people is apparently the same as lynching them. • On facing Jaycee Dugard's kidnapper Phillip Garrido in court, the woman he raped 32 years ago says, "It's always been just under the surface of my life, and I thought this was in its box and put away. But this Pandora 's box is open for me, and now I'm dealing with it again on a different level, like I've been victimized myself." • Two waitresses are suing Hooters after they were forced to buy the hideous orange uniforms out of pocket. It is illegal to demand employees buy uniforms if they are required to wear something other than "everyday street clothes." "I don't think that could confuse the Hooters uniform clothes as part of someone's ordinary wardrobe," said their lawyer. •  A recent study from Harvard University has found that men, regardless of their sexual orientation, are most attracted to faces that look most synonymous with their gender. In other words, gay men like very masculine looking men, while straight men are attracted to the most feminine-looking women. • 

Joey is the tattooed emo rocker cool guy swordsman. It may have just been editing, but in this first episode, he came off as turd. He kept trying to make fun of one of his roommates, Emilee, for working at Hooters, and unfortunately, she didn't seem to have the verbal capacity to defend herself. Then Joey brought home a girl he met in a club for a one night stand. Two of his female roommates, Ayiiia and Jasmine, drew pictures of Joey's coital session, and explained to the confessional how lame the girl is that he slept with, because she doesn't realize that she means nothing to him and she's just one chick on a long list that he's fucked. (For his part, Joey said that he felt "really cool" because he was the first to have sex in the house.)

But who said that girl wanted to mean anything to him? It seems to me that she was just out for a good time that night, like Joey was. In fact, her mother ended up hooking up with one of the Real World guys as well. I don't think either of these women had any intentions on falling in love with the Cancun tail they got.

• WTF: An angry raccoon bit off the penis of a 44-year-old Russian man after he leapt drunkenly on the animal and attempted to rape it. • New research has found that repeatedly making bad jokes may lead to ridicule and embarrassment, with the worst responses often coming from a loved one. [Punny Jezebel ladies, are you listening? I kid. -Ed.] • A new ad for safe sex uses chewing gum and a soothing narrator to effectively illustrate the indiscriminate nature of HIV/AIDS. • A lesbian couple claim that they were treated unfairly by an Egyptian born doctor who refused to take them on as patients. Andrea and Ginette Markowski have filed a complaint against Dr. Kamelia Elias for discrimination. • A MRI performed on a woman with super memory revealed that several sections of her brain were enlarged. Scientists say this may help them discover the source of this rare gift. • A couple in their 20s have been arrested after walking naked through the streets of Singapore. • Esther Adams is a Victoria Beckham look-a-like, but apparently, being genetically blessed and making money off someone else's fame isn't enough for Esther: in an article in the Daily Mail, she complains about the difficulties of being an "imposhter". • A former high school cheerleader has lost her lawsuit for injuries she received when a teammate failed to catch her. The justices concluded that cheerleading is a "contact sport" and neither the male cheerleader who dropped her nor the school was liable for damages. • In 1974, Elaine Murphy wrote a letter to a prominent medical magazine, claiming that musicians often suffered from "cello scrotum," an ailment caused by the instrument rubbing against the performer's crotch. Over 30 years later, Murphy finally admitted that it was all an elaborate hoax. No word yet on whether or not "guitar nipple" is also fake. • Apparently, a cow by any other name would not be so productive: a study has found that cows with names produce more milk than their unnamed sisters. Researchers believe it is the "personal touch" that leads to more milk. • Parishioners at the Holy Family Church in New Jersey have been warned that Obama's new bill, the Freedom of Choice Act, may force many Catholic hospitals to close. Abortion rights groups claim that this is a "a distraction from issues around birth control and sex education for teens that could actually be considered in this Congress." • A former Hooters waitress is suing New York "restaurant" Hawaiian Tropic Zone for discrimination. She claims that the restaurant manager told her "you don't speak white" and "you are ghetto." •

That's because new "breastaurants," like Texas' "Twin Peaks" are, ahem, "busting out all over."

Click through the chain's official website to get an idea of the ridiculous fantasies at play. ("River rocks and mounted trophy animals" line the walls. Waitresses don shrunken flannel shirts so the whole place feels sort of like a soft-porny hunting lodge.)

To be honest, it all seems like harmless, innuendo-laden absurdity. That is until CEO Randy Dewitt gives quotes like this, highlighting his somewhat disturbing vision: boob joint as revenge for our mean boner-killing emasculating culture! "You can’t get it at home; you can’t get it at your workplace anymore," DeWitt tells the the Star-Telegram, "but you can get it at Twin Peaks."

Thirty years ago, a similar case was brought against Southwest Airlines, which resulted in the company being forced to hire male flight attendants. While the Southwest Airlines case sounds sensible, you have to wonder why a group of men would want to work at Hooters, a chain that objectifies its employees, controls virtually every aspect of their appearance, and generally treats them like crap. Oh wait, they don’t really want to work at Hooters, they are just looking for some big corporate payoff. As TMZ charmingly reports: “The guys are asking the court for emotional damages—but we thought you had to have those before getting a job at Hooters!” [TMZ]

On September 3rd, 2008, Sara Dye, a 27-year-old waitress, was told by General Manager Gina Sheedy that she could not work at Hooters while the bruises from her recent attack were still visible. Dye agreed to take a short leave to recover, but when she called the restaurant in late September about returning to work, she was told that she had been fired. The owner of the Davenport restaurant, Darren Taylor, claims that Dye was not fired, but also said “I don’t know any restaurateur who would want somebody totally bruised up waiting on his customers.” When asked in court about her inability to work after the attack, Dye said she understood the restaurants position, adding “my body appearance wasn’t up to par.” [DesMoines Register]

Michelle Nunes was the winner of the 2006 Hooters International Swimsuit Pageant. I swear on Tyra Banks's life that I'm not trying to bodysnark Michelle. I just want to point out that she's a good example of bad plastic surgery.

Michelle was on hand to do some backstage, behind-the-scenes reporting. This included asking the contestants about their bikinis. (Notice that this girl covered up her tramp stamp for the competition.)

This also included showing the contestants asses getting sprayed with butt glue. I'm sure this was intended to be educational.

As far as I could tell, the only thing that was "international" about this competition was that there was one contestant from England and one from Canada. Everyone else was from the United States. What I didn't understand was that, unlike a more established pageant like Miss America, there wasn't a representative for each state. The way it was split up was so confusing. For example, there was a woman representing "New York State" and then there was this woman, representing "Downtown Atlanta." There wasn't anyone else there from another part of Atlanta. Why couldn't she just represent the whole friggin' city?

My favorite had to be this contestant:

She was representing Orlando Airport! Actually, there were several contestants from Florida — Miami, "Coastal Florida," Orlando, Fort Lauderdale, Tampa — proving that it is indeed the classiest state in the union.

What didn't confuse me, though, were these shoes:

I think this is one of these rare instances in which clear heels can be considered "sensible shoes."

• Barack Obama reminded everyone that Iran is not the Soviet Union. I haven't bothered watching the whole speech but I know from the left-leaning blogs that he pointed out that the Soviet Union had thousands of nukes and Iran has none and yet the Soviet Union and the U.S. managed to avert nuclear holocaust that one time Dana Perino forgot about, and I know from the Zionists he said some maybe unfortunate things that do not reflect the acknowledgment that, you know, the only problem with that whole thing is the line of argument whereby some of those weapons are still around but the Soviet Union is not, and if you make vacuum cleaners or dog food you might really hate Wal-Mart but at least they pay you on time. [NYT]
  
• "They say in the stock market, 'Buy into a business that's doing so well an idiot could run it, because sooner or later, one will..." Warren Buffett on preferring Obama over McCain. [Breitbart]
  
• Terribly sexist? Don't get me wrong, Geraldine, I heart hyperbole, but... [NYT]
  
• Hey Kosher Hooters!! [Weekly Standard]
  

• America's nicest ex-Klansman just endorsed Obama. Does this mean he was part of the 28% of his state that voted for the black in the primary? Unclear. He says he's into Obama for his Christianity... which the right wing blogosphere gets idiotically "secular liberal hypocrisy watch" about to which we can only say "Oh jesus christ." [Wonkette]
• Bill Kristol is bad at Google. [Wonkette]

Earlier: Shocker: The Men At Hooters Are Kind Of Sexist
What Does It Take For A 32A To Get Hired At Hooters?

Also, defending a woman's honor frequently? Like the Times of London writer Arion McNicoll jokes, "Frequently? Are we talking fisticuffs or pistols at dawn? I am embarrassed to confess that I fall into the lily-livered 66 per cent, who would rather shuffle off quietly than take matters outside when my lady's virtue is at issue." In college I had a boyfriend try to start a shoving match at the campus bar with a hockey player who was hitting on me in a really gross manner. Part of me was secretly titillated that he was willing to get the crap beat out of him by a Neanderthal on my behalf. The other part of me just wanted to get the fuck out of there and avoid a messy, possibly-violent conflict. So basically I thought he was being an asshole but I loved him for it. Sigh.

Chivalry Is Dead, Long Live Chivalry[Times of London]

An event company has a bachelor party package offering groups hotel rooms in Nottingham to see "the world-famous Hooters girls," followed by VIP entry to a lap-dancing club.

Although there are Hooters restaurants in 39 US states, Asia, Canada, the Caribbean, Mexico and Puerto Rico, there's something about Great Britain that seems different. It's the home of the Queen, of Shakespeare and Clive Owen! Yes, it also produced the trainwreck known as Jordan, but at least the US can't be blamed. One can only hope that the Brits realize for many Americans, it is deeply embarrassing that their country will be infested with scantily clad women holding Buffalo wings.

As for Julie Bindel's trip to the Nottingham Hooters, she found her waitress complained of an issue that knows no boundaries or borders: "Most men comment on the 'lovely jugs' when I carry pitchers to their tables," she says. "I just wish they would come up with something original."

'It's More Like A Strip Club Than A Restaurant' [Guardian]

Related: Have you ever actually seen a kid wearing one of those "Hung Like A Fifth Grader" toddler tees? Just wondering.

(Begin viewing gallery by clicking on any image above)

Janae, NYC Hooters employee: Okay, well, there are some different questions here. Are you asking about the New York City Hooters or any other one? [Me: Uh, both?] Okay, well at any other Hooters, you need really big boobs. Really big. But in New York you don't need to. They don't care what you look like here. And you're pretty! I bet they would make you head Hooters girl, even though you have small boobs. Seriously, the only requirements to work here are be really peppy and, uh, be a girl.

Jasmine, NYC Hooters employee: You have to be really good at multi-tasking. You know, doing lots of different things at the same time? And you have to always be happy. When they're hiring, they're looking for girls who are good on their feet. There is no certain look. I know people say you have to look a certain way, but it's not true. Look around  all the girls here look different.

Jessica, Toledo, OH: Miss January: Oh you just have to be really personable! It's so much fun working at Hooters  really! Because at most jobs, if you're a waitress, you're just doing one thing. But here you're being a waitress and you're interacting with the table. The only trick is to just go out there and have fun, definitely. You're totally cute - I bet they would hire you right away. By the way, this is my first time in New York and tomorrow I want to go shopping; I'm looking for cheap bags. Where do you go for those? Somebody told me Chinatown?

Briane, Newnan, GA: Miss June: I've been working at Hooters for 4 years and this is my 3rd year in the calendar. The only trick is to go in and just start working hard  you just have to get used to how hard the work is, because you have to worry about so many things at once and entertain your tables. You have to have fun with customers and work. But like seriously, can I give you some advice? Don't let people make you feel bad about yourself because you work at Hooters. If you enjoy it, you enjoy. And when you start working here, there are people that are going to give you some pretty funny looks when they ask you what you do and you tell them. Don't let other people put you down. And I really do enjoy! And I have a full schedule to go back to next week  I have so many shifts next week because I am missing some this week to promote the calendar. But I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon; I'm working my way through college. Oh and can I give you one other piece of advice to tell girls? When you're getting dressed, either show leg or show cleavage. Not both. Don't show both if you want to look classy.

Becky, Nashville, TN: Miss October: Just come in and apply! That's really all you have to do if you want to work at Hooters. Apply and be confident. Oh, and put your makeup on. It's really not that hard.

Shawna, St. Petersberg, Fl: Miss April: You just need to get the application and then go and start trying out for the calendar right away! And keep trying to be in the calendar! Even if you don't make it at first, you eventually will.

Jennifer, Ft. Myers, Fl: Miss September: Expect to have lots of fun, lots of opportunities, and make lots of new friends! They're looking for the all-American cheerleader. You know, like the girl next door? You have to have that look to work here. You need to look like a cheerleader. And you totally do.

This kind of globalization isn't complete without the requisite corporate brainwashing. "I like Hooters," said one waitress in an interview with ABC News. "It's very happy. It is enthusiastic and energetic. I love Hooters." You can almost hear the panic in her voice, imagining the kind of shame speaking out against orange short-shorts would bring upon her family.

Anyway, in Beijing, "Hooters" simply means "owl," but that doesn't mean the message gets lost. In fact, the point of the Alabama-based restaurant seems to be universal:

When one Hooters patron was asked whether he preferred the food or the waitstaff, he answered, "The girls better than the food."

Globalization Gone Wild: Hooters Opens in China [ABC News]