Jezebel: Hookers

Secret Diary Of A Call Girl Premieres; Fictional Hooker Blows

Slut Machine — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 13:00:00 EDT

Last night was the U.S. premiere of Secret Diary of a Call Girl, the show based on the book based on the blog based on the life of a supposed high class call girl Belle de Jour. Because Belle has somehow always remained anonymous through this whole thing, there's been a lot of speculation as to whether or not she really exists. It's easier to swallow this bunk as fiction, because as pro-sex worker as I am, I actually know real hookers in real life—from Craigslist call girls to porn actresses who need extra cash to occasional snow bunnies—and they really aren't anything like Billie Piper's portrayal of Belle. However, since the show is kind of a really nice, glamorized version of a really shitty job, Call Girl is to hooking what Sex and the City is to single women: A fantasy that will have a bunch of whores saying they relate. Clip above.

"Chronic Male Horniness" Is Not An Excuse For, Well, Anything

Jessica — Thu, 08 May 2008 13:00:00 EDT

Journalist Susannah Breslin keeps a website that we've mentioned here before, called 'Letters From Johns', on which she posts letters from dudes who frequent prostitutes. The most recent entry starts this way: "I've often heard women wonder why men with sexy wives or girlfriends would solicit prostitutes. The answer really is simple: Even Marilyn Monroe could get a little boring after a few years, and having sex with other women is fun. Just like skiing is fun, or eating chocolate cake, or playing a slot machine, or riding a roller coaster." It reminded me of an article I read on GQ's website yesterday, called Divorce: The Ultimate Aphrodisiac, where the author, Adam Sachs, is describing the demise of his marriage. His wife cheated on him, which came as a shock, because Sachs always figured, "I always thought I'd be the one who'd fuck it up."

And why did he think he'd be the one to ruin the marriage? "As a travel writer, I live an easy, pampered life. And like many without real cares, I am not unfamiliar with the urge to drive the happy bus off the side of the mountain just to see what happens," Sachs writes. "Complicating this is that disease of the brain called chronic male horniness. I used to tell people that the world will never seem more teeming with beautiful, fascinating, fuckable people than on the sunny afternoon when you walk to the post office carrying a box full of your wedding invitations."

My problem with that statement is not that he thought about fucking other people — everyone with a pulse, regardless of how much in love they are, thinks about fucking other people — it's that he attributes it to chronic male horniness, as if women couldn't possibly understand what it's like to lust after strangers. The John's reasoning is identical to Sachs's. Even fucking Marilyn Monroe gets boring, he exclaims. Well you know what, Adam, getting boned by George Clooney probably loses its luster after a couple of years, too! The fact that I even need to point out that all humans, regardless of gender, have biological urges is completely ridiculous, but I guess I'm going to have to keep doing it until men take intellectual responsibility for their wandering Johnsons.

Divorce: The Ultimate Aphrodisiac [Men.Style.Com]
I've Seen Every Kind Of Hooker Going [Letters From Johns]

Father Gives Daughter Bikini Waxes, Rides To Work At A Brothel

Slut Machine — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:00:00 EDT

Today's episode of Tyra was about women who are looking to become legal prostitutes in Nevada. One particularly fucked up segment featured Summer, a pretty 18-year-old who is an "up and coming" adult film actress about to start working at the infamous Moonlight Bunny Ranch. Summer's father is also her manager, and he not only talked her into working at the brothel, but gives her Brazilian bikini waxes. Almost more insane? They actually show him doing it. Now, I'm pro-porn and pro-sex work, and I feel like people should be allowed to make their own choices when it comes to how they want to make their money. But maybe I'm not as progressive as I thought I was, because this shit is just wrong. Oh, and when Summer is shown crying when her dad drops her off at the brothel? He says, "you forgot something," and you think he's gonna give her words of encouragement or a hug, but instead, he hands her a giant bottle of lube.

Tyra Tackles The Weighty Issue Of "Fatsploitation"

Slut Machine — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 19:00:00 EDT

Today, Tyra took on the subject of "fatsploitation", talking to morbidly-obese women (500+ lbs) who make a living using their full figures for nude and lingerie modeling, as well as "squashing," the practice of applying large amounts of pressure on a man with one's own weight. One of the guests was a woman named Queen Raqui, who charges $300 an hour to squash men. She was adamant about the fact that there is nothing sexual about her business, and that she's just about "fat acceptance" as a cause. But I want to call bullshit on that. If she isn't selling sex, why is she catering to this fetish? Furthermore, why does she pose in lingerie on her site and charge a monthly subscription fee? And why are all her clients men? Clip above.

Retired Escort Has Advice For Hordes Of Wannabe-Hookers

Dodai — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:00:00 EDT

Meet Amanda Brooks. She was raised in Texas, went to college and graduated with a double degree in photography and English. She entered the workforce, found a job she really enjoyed and then retired... At the age of 29. Her chosen profession? Internet call girl. And like any retired person with valuable advice, Ms. Brooks has written a couple of books: The Internet Escort's Handbook, volumes 1 and 2. The first book deals with "basic mental, emotional and physical considerations in escort work." The second is about advertising and marketing. A little digging revealed that the book has chapters titled "Are You A People Person? How Can You Become One?" and, under "Your Personal Appearance" are sections named "Breasts," "Weight And Proportions," "Hair," "Stretch Marks," "Teeth and Breath," "The Period Question," and, of course, "Ejaculation (Face or Specific Body Part)." Very thorough. Oh! And — here's the difference between an escort and a cheap hooker, in case you were wondering:

If you are selling your time, undivided attention, and the (unspoken) offer of sexual entertainment, you're an escort. If you're selling a specific sexual activity for a certain amount of money, you're a prostitute. If you won't have sex with the man you're dating unless he buys you an expensive dinner, you're a (relatively cheap) prostitute.

It's not clear why Ms. Brooks appears to be wearing a wig in some of her photos, but her site claims, "Amanda's family is not embarrassed by her or her mission." And although she's retired, it sounds like she really enjoyed letting old dudes grope her for money! "How did I feel working as an escort?" she asks. "Happy, satisfied, in control of my life; wealthy, healthy, at peace with myself, free, successful and I slept like a baby every night."

Guides To Call Girl Work Out [The Sun]
Related: The Internet Escort's Handbook

Cumming To A Smut Shop Near You: The Eliot Splitz-Her Story

Slut Machine — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:00:00 EDT

Well, it was bound to happen: The Eliot Spitzer call girl scandal has been turned into a porn film and the title is perfect: Gov Lov: The Eliot Splitz-Her Story. (How great is it that the DVD box cover looks like the New York Post? Fleshbot has the NSFW version of the box cover.) The film is being released by Hustler, which has a long history of making sex and politics strange bedfellows. "This movie parody is an example of one of the reasons I went to the Supreme Court in 1988 — to make parody protected speech," Hustler publisher Larry Flynt said via a press release we received last night. The movie comes out May 27, but you can see the trailer after the jump. (No worries, it's safe for work.)

Plot synopsis from the press release:

Mike Horner, who bears a striking resemblance to the former governor, eagerly places his order with the Pimperor's Club. As "Client 69," he agrees to fork over thousands for an all-expense-paid trip so that his mistress, Kristen, can meet him in Washington, D.C. Kristen, played by Cassandra Cruz, arrives at the governor's hotel to find him eagerly awaiting her arrival. Watch as the governor reveals his overzealous sex drive and gets sucked and fucked by his sexy mistress. "Client 69" is under the impression that he is going to get away with his sexcapade, but little does he know there are FBI agents on a stakeout in the next room. The agents, played by Van Damage and Veronica Jett, are so incredibly turned on by what they are overhearing in the governor's room that they decide to have some fun of their own.

Telling Mom You're A Hooker Isn't Always So Horrible

Jessica — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 14:30:00 EDT

Yesterday, one of Jezebel's brother sites, Gawker, wrote about "Debauchette," one of the several prostitutes who appeared on the Diane Sawyer 20/20 special about working girls. Even though Debauchette's voice was altered and her appearance masked, her mother recognized her because of the idiosyncratic cadence of her voice and her gestures. "I listened to what you had to say in the interview and I expect you feel you have thought all of this through," Debauchette's mom said. (All things considered, a reasonably calm response.) Karly Kirchner of sex-worker site Bound, Not Gagged recounts a similarly accepting response from her mom, but adds that she wants her mother to start reading her posts on the blog.

Perhaps those posts will lead Ms. Kirchner's mother to a deeper understanding of the oldest profession and her daughter's reasons for choosing it. But, says Morgan Winter on the Utne Reader's website, "There seems to be two basic motivations for writing about one's tenure as a hooker, neither educational. The prostitute either wants to glorify or vilify the industry and its consumers. Either of these seems simplistic and disingenuous. After all, not only are we talking about the oldest profession, we're also trying to understand arguably the most complicated physiological aspect of nature—sex—through books about themes that, if authored by anybody other than former prostitutes, would fall under the 'teen' section in the local library." Even with a more nuanced view of prostitution, I can't imagine any mother would be particularly thrilled to discover that her daughter was a hooker. I got an awkwardly scolding phone call from my mother when I wrote about foreskins. I can't even imagine what she'd say if I told her I touched them for a living!

Insanely Sane Conversation With My Mom [Bound, Not Gagged]
The True Stories Of O[Utne]

Related: Young Beauty Sells Her Body, Breaks Our Hearts
a href="http://gawker.com/5006394/diane-sawyer-rats-out-hooker-to-her-parents">Diane Sawyer Rats Out Hooker To Her Parents

Ladies Of The View Pounce On Former Pimp

Slut Machine — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 14:30:00 EDT

Jason Itzler, "The King of All Pimps", appeared on The View today, ostensibly to take us "inside the world of sex, power and money," but instead, he was attacked by the ladies on the panel. Sherri looked like she was gonna choke him with her fake pony tail; Whoopi told him he creeped her out; Joy got in his face over the definition of the word "pimp"; and Barbara tried to raise her eyebrows when he described Eliot Spitzer bedmate Ashley Dupré as having a nice tush. Strangely, Elisabeth was mostly mum. (She saves her harsher criticism for presidential candidates.) Above is a clip of the ladies clearly hating Itzler for merely existing.

Although Diane Sawyer's 20/20 special on ...

Jennifer — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 17:20:00 EDT

Although Diane Sawyer's 20/20 special on prostitution didn't impart much new information about the oldest profession, here's something that did throw us for a loop: A 13-year-old girl has been arrested in Dallas for pimping other underage, middle schoolers for everything from stripteases and "exotic dancing" to actual sex acts. The 13-year old was luring friends into prostitution by offers of large sums of cash. Says a Dallas police officer involved in the case, "One of the remarkable things we learned through all of this is there's a tremendous amount of money in all this, so a huge demand for young girls in prostitution world." [WFAA]

Young Beauty Sells Her Body, Breaks Our Hearts

Anna — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 12:30:00 EDT

On Friday night, Diane Sawyer's much-publicized, 2-hour 20/20 "investigation" of the state of prostitution in America aired, and for the most part, it was a disappointment. There was little to no mention of the societal/gender structures that lead to women selling their bodies for money, and the prostitutes featured tended to fall into two camps: Down-on-their-luck, drug-abusing streetwalker types (who hate the situation they are in) or women working in legal Nevada brothels (who, if they hate the situation they are in, are not saying so.) One of the most depressing — and poignant — moments, however, came from a woman in the former category: A Philadelphia prostitute named Skylar who sat down with Sawyer for a short talk and impromptu singing performance. For whatever reason, she, more than anyone else, stuck with us, maybe because at the end of the program we learned that, after taping, she disappeared without a trace. Clip above.

Prostitution In America [ABC News]

This Week We Talked Prostitutes, Poops, And Panties

Jessica — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:30:00 EDT

We discovered that ( now-former ) New York Governor Eliot Spitzer goes to whores.
We also discussed Ashley Alexandra Dupre, aka "Kristen", the woman who was allegedly the whore in question. Her new single is off the chain!
We commisserated with Spitzer's poor wife, Silda.
Bet disgraced Glamour blogger Mike Cherico is happy about the Spitzer scandal! It is one of the few things that makes him look like less of an asshole.
Speaking of assholes, did ya hear? Pooping is the new hot shit!

Salt n' Pepa said opinions are like assholes and everybody's got one. Well 1,400 of you and counting had opinions about this post.

But who cares what other people think! You're living alone and loving it.

And probably airing the ol' girl out 'cause no one is ever around.

But you guys, Anna Wintour put a big black guy on the cover of Vogue, so we know the apocalypse is neigh.

Whatevs to all that. It's spring break y'all! Pour some out for the homies and have a good weekend.

How Eliot Spitzer's Indiscretions Made His Wife Age Before Our Eyes

Anna — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:00:00 EDT

Women of a certain age have it hard. They get pushed out of the workforce for younger, "better models." Sometimes their husbands of many decades cheat on them with prostitutes! Which brings us to Silda Wall Spitzer. As the week has worn, the chatter about Eliot Spitzer's accomplished, philanthropic, whip-smart wife — and what she must be feeling, thinking, and planning — has exploded, including commentary by bloggers, internet commenters and Ed Koch (the former mayor of New York), on how the 50-year-old mother of three seemingly aged several years overnight. Curious, we took a look at recent photographs of of the Harvard Law grad and found a marked difference in her face, which can only be described as exhausted and devastated, yet strong*. But that's just us. What do you think? After the jump, a chronological photo gallery of Ms. Spitzer's public appearances through the years.

*(This is not a criticism, people.)

Left: October 5, 2006. Right: November 7, 2006.

Left: November 17, 2006. Right, April 24, 2007.

Left: September 9, 2007. Right, December 1, 2007.

Left: December 4, 2007. Right: February 25, 2007.

Left: March 11, 2008. Right: March 12, 2008.

(Images via Getty)

Earlier: Women On Silda Wall: "I'd Have Paraded In Front Of A Microphone With A Knife"

Why Did Eliot Spitzer Risk Everything To Pay For Sex?

Jessica — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 09:30:00 EDT

Yesterday we looked at the Spitzer scandal from the prostitutes' point of view, and now we ask the question: why did Eliot risk everything to bone a hooker in the first place? One possibility, according to the Times of London, is that he's addicted to sex. An anonymous columnist writes in today's paper, "My desire for sex was so overwhelming that I had difficulty breathing." This "John X" says that he was a sex addict because "I wanted to feel nothing; oblivion feels good when you've had a bad day at work, or are hung-over." (It all stemmed from a basic inability to communicate with the opposite sex.) "It's a mistake to associate paid sex with feelings. Better to associate it with a lack of feelings, a big frightening void, an inability to communicate sexually and emotionally with a partner."

But by all accounts, Silda and Eliot had a decent marriage before the deluge. Newsweek offers some alternative theories. Susannah Breslin, a writer who is soliciting "Letters from Johns" on an eponymous website writes about some of the letters she received, and most of the prostitute-frequenting married men she's talked to went to hookers because their wives no longer had sex with them or because they got their rocks off on the taboo of it all. "For some men, especially those who are seen as particularly moral or righteous in their public lives (think of all those fallen preachers)," Breslin notes, "Part of the appeal is the fact that it is illegal and a moral transgression in their eyes."

It could be an honest-to-goodness kink, or maybe it's Spitzer's biology! According to Newsweek, men who cheat are "sensation seekers" who have "lower levels of monoamine oxidase A," the chemical that regulates dopamine, the "pleasure" neurotransmitter. Also, the kind of person who is a politician is often incredibly egocentric. Says University of Washington political scientist John Gastil: "For high-profile offices... you have to have a kind of personality where you are very interested in yourself and your personal needs, as well as the needs of others... When the gratification of your desire for social change becomes the justification for so much of what you do in your career, it's not a leap to then say, 'Well, my other desires and needs are equally justified.' You come up with elaborate justifications. 'Hey, 23 hours day I'm working hard for the people of New York. Time for a little me time!'"

And Spitzer will have a ton of "me" time now that he's resigned. The oft-heard moral of this story — to me, at least — is be wary of anyone who goes around crowing about how moral and ethical they are. If Spitzer hadn't claimed to be such a paragon of virtue, the people of New York would probably be more forgiving. Look at former Providence mayor Buddy Cianci or former D.C. mayor Marion Barry. Both left office "disgraced" but returned after a couple years. People forgave them because they never expected them to be particularly moral in the first place. If Spitzer had been honest with himself about his true moral fiber, maybe we wouldn't have seen poor Silda's destroyed visage on our television screens yesterday. She — and we — would have known better.

Dear John [Newsweek]
His Cheating Brain [Newsweek]

Earlier: Enough About Eliot. What About The Hookers?

Women On Silda Wall: "I'd Have Paraded In Front Of A Microphone With A Knife"

Dodai — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 12:30:00 EDT

After two days of relentless focus and attention on the now-resigned New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, the news agencies have set their sights on the problem of prostitution, and, of course, on his now-suffering wife, Silda. Her "charmed life slips away," reads an AP headline. "Brainy, beautiful, betrayed," reports CBS News. "Many wonder, 'why does she stay with him?'" writes a reporter for the L.A. Times. (The NY Post's Cindy Adams is all "so what?"). By all accounts, Silda Wall Spitzer was one of those smart, over-achieving women who awe and inspire. She had a strong maternal figure (her mom insisted she list her profession as "home administrator" rather than "housewife", on her college applications), a successful and lucrative law career (she out-earned her husband as a mergers and acquisitions specialist at a top New York firm) and, in addition to raising three daughters, she founded a philanthropic community service organization. And then the news broke about her husband.

Standing by her husband's side during his press conference was her decision to make, and probably a tough one. But was it the right one? How would you deal with a life-shattering betrayal — when everyone is watching?

Silda (named after a Teutonic goddess) grew up in Concord, NC, attended Meredith, women's college in Raleigh, and went from there to Harvard Law. She met — and married — a fellow Harvard student named Peter Stamos; the marriage lasted 29 days. Later she joined prestigious NYC law firm Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom, billing 3,300 hours a year — more than nine hours a day, including weekends. She married Spitzer in 1987 and put her career on hold in 1994. They had two children by then (they currently have three daughters, 17, 15 and 13), which impacted her decision: "I felt very conflicted and emotional about leaving my job," she told Vogue last year. "It was not something I wanted to do, but I have never once doubted that it was the right decision for us. You don't want to give up your dreams, but you also have to confront the reality of your life. Ultimately, it was more important for me to have my family work."

Somewhere along the way, her focus shifted from career achievement to domestic accomplishment. Add that to standing next to her husband as he admits a breach of trust and you've got a recipe that leaves a bad taste in the mouths of many women. Writers from the L.A. Times interviewed females from different cities, and of different ages and walks of life. The reaction is the same: Women are ashamed of Silda. "I find it nauseating . . . phony and awful," Leah Schanzer, 38, tells the paper. Her friend Leslie Heller, 47, agrees. "It makes it seem like she's Susie Homemaker. She shouldn't be standing there, next to him." Says Linda Walters, 61: "She should've said, 'This is your fight. This is your battle. You stand there and get yourself out of it.'" "I'd have paraded in front of the microphone with a knife," says Cassandra Horton, 43.

Should a woman who has given up her career for her family stand by that family — including her husband — no matter what? It might make Silda look bad to face the press while holding her husband's hand, but would it look worse if she didn't? Is there bravery in standing by your man, as it were? Or, should Silda, as Dina Matos McGreevy — whose husband announced he was a "Gay American" — writes in today's New York Times, have made the decision to stand by herself and let the man in question face the cameras on his own?

NY First Lady's Charmed Life Slips Away [Breitbart]
Silda Spitzer, The Wife Who Gave Up Career To Back Politics And Ambition [Times]
Stand By Yourself [New York Times]
Gov.'s Wife: Brainy, Beautiful, Betrayed [CBS News]
Wife Puts Troubling Face On The Spitzer Scandal [L.A. Times]
Stay With Shpritzer, Smart Lady [NY Post]

Is Seeing Prostitutes A Deal Breaker?

Jessica — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 16:30:00 EDT

So, Eliot Spitzer, huh? As most know by now, the muckraking, ethically-superior New York Governor is said to have been "involved" in a prostitution ring. There were federal wiretaps at play, and the sexual congress took place at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington on the day before Valentines'. In light of Spitzer's transgressions, today's Since You Asked advice column in Salon seems oddly prophetic! A distraught reader asks Cary Tennis, "Have I ruined my karma by sleeping with prostitutes?" The reader feels his life has been destroyed by years of whoring, and wonders if he's a horrible person for cheating on his wife with hookers. Tennis gives some drawn out, hippy-dippy response as per usual, but ultimately decides "It is not about abstract forces and balance sheets. It's about conduct and relationships." This dude should probably forgive himself, but it begs the question — if you knew your guy had frequented prostitutes, would it be a deal breaker?

And I don't necessarily mean "frequented prostitutes" while the two of you were together. I think for most people, being cheated on with a prostitute would be serious cause for relationship reevaluation. I dated one dude who admitted to frequenting hookers when he lived in Ecuador, and I must admit, it made me think twice about getting in a serious relationship with him. But that was just me; have your say in the poll below and/or in the comments.

Loose Lips

Jessica — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 17:30:00 EST

Mischa Barton was in court today to deal with that pesky DUI and marijuana possession charge she racked up last December. The case has been continued until April 10th, but Mischa's lawyer Anthony Salerno says he thinks the pot charges will be dropped. • Hayden Panettiere says she broke up with Laguna Beach alum Stephen Colletti because she "wanted to breathe" (Milo Ventimiglia's fumes!) and because she just "wanted to be single at the time" (so she could date Milo Vengtimiglia). [TMZ, Us]

How To Talk Like A Japanese Prostitute

Slut Machine — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 11:00:00 EST

The instructional video above is so strange that we're not really sure if it's a joke or actually intended to teach something to aspiring Japanese prostitutes working the whole geisha angle. (Real geisha aren't hookers and they wear their obis in the back, whereas prostitutes wear their obis in the front, like the chick in this video, for easy access.) This clip contains an English lesson of sorts, instructing the viewer on how to say and use certain risqué terms ("you're so good" and "first-rate cunt lapping") during sexual encounters. ["First-rate cunt-lapping"??? -Ed.] There's no nudity, but it's a little NSFW if you have the sound up.

Money Doesn't Make The World Go Around, But It Helps

dodai — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 15:30:00 EST

The Today Show had a segment on microlending this morning, and you know what? Not all credit is bad. And it can really help struggling women. As Reuters reports, anyone with $25 and an Internet connection can finance a small business. Oprah talked about Kiva.org microloans on her show in September, and the day the episode aired, every loan on the site was fulfilled. Plus, Kiva sold $2.2 million in gift certificates over the holidays. The other aspect of Kiva's appeal? Instead of giving to a faceless charity, you can see pictures of the people whom you're helping. NBC's John Larson traveled to Africa and met with people he'd loaned money to over a year ago (check out the clip, above). He saw how they'd spent the cash and how it had improved their lives.

In the same vein, a new bank in India has opened that caters specifically to prostitutes and sex workers. Women in the country's sex industry have trouble opening bank accounts because of prejudice and lack of identification. (Many of the women are saving money to get out of the business altogether.) Shilpa Merchant, who founded the new bank, says a woman with a savings account is more likely to refuse a customer who does not want to wear a condom, because she doesn't have to worry about where her next meal is coming from. (The government has also recently teamed up with prostitutes to cut down on girls being kidnapped and forced into the sex trade. Profiting by selling a person for sex is illegal, but paying for sex with an adult prostitute is not.)

Meanwhile, in this country, CBS News reports that professor and Freakonomics author Steven D. Levitt studied the finances of prostitution. Hookers in Chicago claim 3% of the sex acts they performed over a two-year period were "freebies" given to cops to avoid arrest. In addition, business is better on holidays and condoms are used 25% of the time, with customers paying a small increase in price for unprotected sex. Risky business, indeed.

The Jezebels have decided to pool some cash and loan it to a woman on the Kiva site. We'll let you know how it goes.

Oprah Effect Brings Microlending To Main Street [Reuters]
Bank For India's Sex Workers [Reuters]
India Turns To Prostitutes To Help Beat Trafficking [Reuters]
The Economics Of Prostitution, Analyzed [CBS News]
[Kiva.org]

Is She A Cop Or A Hooker?

Slut Machine — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 19:00:00 EST

There's a show called Manswers on Spike TV that answers questions, dispenses trivia, and serves as a how-to guide on all things socially unacceptable. Because it's on Spike TV, a lot of the topics are extremely sexist-sounding — like "Turn Your Girl Into a Stripper" and "Are Women With Fake Boobs Hornier?" — but a lot of the stuff they cover is actually really useful, like how to legally get high or how to cure a hangover. The clip above is a little of both as it tells guys how to tell if a hooker is really a hooker or if she's a cop.

14-Year-Old Girl Trades Sex For Bacon Double Cheeseburger, Has No Regrets

Slut Machine — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 13:00:00 EDT

The clip above would be way more hilarious if this girl were a Tracy Morgan character or something, but you know, it's real, so it's sorta like, sad. But either way, it's amazing. Angelique is a 14-year-old girl who's been having sex since she was 11, and is apparently a hooker. She went on the Maury Povich show yesterday to explain that she's confident in the way she looks, loves her lifestyle, will beat the shit out of anyone who doesn't agree with her, and brags about how she has had sex for a bacon double cheeseburger. Thanks to Molly for catching this one!

Belgian police sound a lot like the cops ...

Jessica — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 10:45:00 EDT

Belgian police sound a lot like the cops in Superbad. Officers patrolling the red light district of Brussels have been ordered to lay off the hookers and booze. "These officers think their duty hours are to be used to drink alcohol in bars, practice sports... visit brothels or massage parlors, and entertain (intimate) relationships with residents of the neighborhood during their patrol," the Belgian police chief wrote in a letter to errant employees. So far, no hedonist policemen have been prosecuted. [Reuters]

The Dangers Of Dressing Down In Vegas

Slut Machine — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 15:00:00 EDT

Remember that hooker-roundup clip we ran with that awesome Reno 911-esque cop who was very matter-of-fact with all the working girls? Well here she is again in a clip from one of our new favorite reality series Jail. This time, a woman has been arrested because cops thought she was a prostitute, but she swears she was just trying to dress sexy to get into an exclusive club. We sort of believe her: All the other hookers there act as though getting pinched is no big whoop, but this lady seems devastated. Try to hold your lunches down after you see her very long cleavage and her disgusting pinky toes.

Is Prostitution Glamorous? A Hooker And A Slut Weigh In

Slut Machine — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:30:00 EDT

A TV show is premiering in the UK next week called The Secret Diary of a Call Girl, based on the writings of "Belle de Jour," the pseudonym of a high-class British call girl who chronicles her life in her blog and books. The program is brewing up a lot of controversy because it is said to depict prostitution in a much different light than most people are used to; namely, that being a hooker can be an enjoyable experience. In fact, people find the idea that Belle not only likes sex but likes getting paid for it so unbelievable that they've insisted she's a fake. The Guardian has an article today in which they get different people — a sex magazine editor, a professor of criminology, someone from a prostitutes collective — to weigh in on the show, which many have deemed "dangerous" because it supposedly glamorizes prostitution. In response, Belle says on her blog:

Unless you have been a sex worker, or know one intimately, you have No. Fucking. Clue.

I totally agree with her on that. And lucky for me, I actually do know a call girl intimately. Well, not in a sexual way, but she's one of my BFFs. After the jump, College Callgirl and I discuss how turning tricks can be both sexist and sexy.

Wrong Call [Guardian]
Related: Confessions of a College Callgirl

The D.C. Madam Talks to Susie Bright, Is Pissed At The Government

Slut Machine — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 18:30:00 EDT

Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the D.C. Madam whose infamous phone list of clients shook up Washington this past year, gave an awesome interview to sexpert Susie Bright on her podcast In Bed. First off, Palfrey is funny and engaging. Secondly, we sort of like her for pronouncing "Washington" as "Wershington." In the interview, Palfrey tells Bright that she would have preferred to keep this whole legal matter private, and accuses the U.S. Justice Department leaking the info of her raid to "The Smoking Gun" after she refused to settle and fork over her life-savings as part of a plea deal. In retaliation, Palfrey released the list of phone records of her clients: Prominent D.C. personalities and government officials, most notably Louisiana Republican Senator David Vitter, who ironically (or perhaps predictably) is an advocate for fidelity. When Bright asked Palfrey why the government would target her she said:

I was obviously sitting on a powder keg of information. Much more yet is to come out, I do believe. David Vitter is not the soul and substance of my entire 13 years of operation, that's for sure.

Oh snap!

Palfrey goes on to say that she was being observed "J. Edgar Hoover style" for 31 months before she was finally raided. Indicted in February on federal racketeering charges, Palfrey maintains that she was simply running a "high-end adult fantasy firm" and that the women working for her were "independent contractors who breached their contracts by engaging in illegal sex." Anyway, she's way pissed at the government. Get an earful here.

Susie Interviews The D.C. Madam [Susie Bright]
Related: Interview [Fleshbot]

A Real-Life Vegas Working Girl Roundup

Slut Machine — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 16:30:00 EDT

The clip above is from Court TV, and shows a late-night prostitute round-up in a Las Vegas jail. Booking an endless stream of hookers is apparently all in a night's work for these officers—mostly women—who all seem to have a good rapport with the working girls. If anything, they don't really understand why the women are out on the street and not in brothels, since prostitution is legal in Nevada. The best though, is the policewoman enjoying her 15 minutes of fame while showing the camera crew around the booking area. She's straight from Reno 911. She needs her own reality show.

Prostitution Round Up [YNC, link NSFW]

Amy Winehouse Onscreen Not So Different Than Amy Winehouse Offscreen

Slut Machine — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 13:07:59 EDT

Since losing all that weight and gaining all that back-comb, Amy Winehouse has been looking like a cracked-out whore—and now she's playing one on cable TV! Thanks to photographer/film director David LaChappelle, who directed Winehouse's latest video, "These Tears Dry on Their Own" (probably the best single from Back to Black), we get to see what it would be like if Amy were a hooker on Hollywood Boulevard. (Spoiler alert: It's sorta the same as her regular life!) The upswing, though, is that every single extra in the video is sinfully ugly, which comparatively makes Amy look kinda pretty. —Slut Machine

Related: Talking Smack About Famous People You Met [Gawker]

Jen Garner is SOOOO not going to like this

Anna — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 21:29:13 EST

More juicy news from Jody Gibson, the Hollywood madam no one had ever heard of until today. Seems that Ben Affleck may have partaken of Gibson's services in the form of a "hot blonde".

We haven't come across a response yet from Ben's camp yet, but it'll be interesting to see whether they deny it wholeheartedly or explain it away that it happened during Ben's drinking days. (Gibson says Affleck was a client before she was arrested eight years ago).

Hmm. Come to think of it, wasn't it just over 8 years ago that Ben was dating Gwyneth Paltrow? Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Affleck, Willis on Ex-Madam's Client List [E! Online]