holiday gifts - Jezebel

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Daily Cavity
What Women Wanted For Xmas In 1928
The Guy Holiday Gift Guide From The Most Annoying Women on Earth
How to lose friends and alienate people. For real.

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Sputnik_Sweetheart
12/08/09

In reply to Daily Cavity
Animals. Are. Not. Gifts.

Inanimate objects are gifts. A living, breathing creature that needs to be loved, fed, and taken care of are not. End of story.
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Kali Mama
12/08/09

@Sputnik_Sweetheart: Unless, it's an animal gifted through Heifer, of course.
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slowpoke.r
12/08/09

@Kali Mama: Even then. Still living and breathing beings, still need to be loved, fed, and taken care of.
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grace ipsa loquitur
12/08/09

@slowpoke.r: Does the definition of gift automatically exclude all those things? I got my beloved doggie as a gift and I consider her the best gift I've ever gotten. Parents call their children gifts (from God, the universe, their spouses, whatever) all the time. I don't really understand why a living thing can't be a gift. Not an object? Absolutely, but I don't think gift = object by definition.
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slowpoke.r
12/08/09

@ferociacoutura: You're right, of course.

I was really reacting more to the Heifer comment than the "gift" thing. I'm very anti-Heifer International for a variety of reasons, the primary one being their sending living creatures into already horrible situations where most of them don't have a ghost of a chance at being loved, fed, and taken care of. The idea they promote, that animals are "gifts" that people can give to the less fortunate, ignores a myriad of social, economic, physiological, and ecological realities that make the (typically short) lives of those animals less than pleasant and has questionable benefits for the humans they are trying to serve.
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grace ipsa loquitur
12/08/09

@slowpoke.r: Wow, that is interesting. Maybe this isn't the place, but I'd like to hear more; I have nothing but a positive image of Heifer in my head as being something that really helps people in developing countries establish their own security, probably because that is all I have ever heard. Any suggested links or lit or anything?
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Penny
12/08/09

In reply to Daily Cavity
Yeah, those don't stay cute for long.

Sometimes I wear my cat as a scarf.
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PaigeTurner
12/08/09

@Penny: My baby kangaroo doubles as a purse!
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clickable
12/08/09

@Penny: Oh, dear God, you too? Because sometimes I do it too. 'cept you're probably joking, and I'm serious. My kitty, bless his heart, is so used to my shenanigans that he even lets me bend and mold him to shape before he leaps off.

I also make him dance for me. I have the thweetetht kitty in the world. Or at least the most patient one.
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Penny
12/08/09

@clickable: Not kidding. I actually have countless photos of my dad doing it with my cat while I was growing up. Our cats like to hang out on the tops of our desk chairs and sometimes I will grab one and wrap her around my neck. They like it!
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clickable
12/08/09

@Penny: LOL, I'm loving the visual. I grab one of them (there are 2, but only 1 lets me use him as Play Doh) every morning as I get out of bed and remind them that one of their jobs is to be environmentally-friendly reusable hand warmers. Hey, they gotta do something to pay for their very 'spensive gushy fud.

If I had known how much fun it was, I woulda got kitties years ago. Not a day goes by that we don't dissolve in laughter over something they do (or get done to them and remain stoic).
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Lymed
12/08/09

In reply to Daily Cavity
I remember Daily Candy's first few months in DC when they actually had interesting, local finds. The little, hidden clothing store. The new shoe store. Where to find great cheese and chocolate.
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Questioning Everything
12/08/09

@Lymed: Yes. I used to get their daily feed, but it didn't last long before I got rid of it. Now, I can't remember the last time I even referenced it.
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champagne
12/17/08

In reply to What Women Wanted For Xmas In 1928
Thank you for that tidbit! I love all things 1920s.
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stealthird
12/17/08

In reply to What Women Wanted For Xmas In 1928
Those women were lying. We all know what they wanted: a beer. I almost wish we still had prohibition so we could hang out in speakeasys.
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hortense
12/17/08

@stealthird: My great-grandparents had secret liquor compartments in the walls of their cafe!
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Parachuting
12/17/08

In reply to What Women Wanted For Xmas In 1928
Color me unimaginative then, because I want a Kitchen Aid Artisan mixer for Christmas.
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Flackette Goes Retro
12/17/08

@Parachuting: Best. Gift. Ever. Mine is a hand me down because my mom upgraded to the pro model. 20+ years old and still works perfectly.
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tscheese
12/17/08

In reply to What Women Wanted For Xmas In 1928
I just want a goddamn Yankee candle and a new showerhead.

I will get neither.
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scullymurphy
12/17/08

@tscheese: I read this as a "God Damn Yankees candle" as in the hair band from the 80s. That would be 6 kinds of awesome.
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omgwhodoesyourhair
12/17/08

In reply to What Women Wanted For Xmas In 1928
See, and I thought all women just wanted abortions for Christmas.
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aubonpam
12/17/08

@say kaci: Some do. Others want miniature American flags.
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the dodo, the cuckoo, and the nene
12/17/08

@aubonpam: ahhh that joke never gets old. Love it!
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Flackette Goes Retro
12/17/08

In reply to What Women Wanted For Xmas In 1928
Yarn/knitting store gift card, please. I want to wrap myself in baby alpaca fur.
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Flackette Goes Retro
12/17/08

@Flackette is a Red State Elitist: (Please note no actual alpacas are harmed in production of their wool, they just get a haircut).
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the dodo, the cuckoo, and the nene
12/17/08

@Flackette is a Red State Elitist: Oooh I would like that too! I just made a hat with a lovely alpaca/merino wool for my 2 year old nephew. It is delightfully cozy and soft.
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undomesticgoddess doesn't sleep a wink
12/17/08

@Flackette is a Red State Elitist: I want that!
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the dodo, the cuckoo, and the nene
12/17/08

In reply to What Women Wanted For Xmas In 1928
Starbucks gift cards, FTW! I work in a library and I get to order pretty much anything I want and then read it before it goes on the shelves, so I'm set on that front. But I am addicted to coffee and I love getting useful, practical gifts. I could live on Starbucks.
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the dodo, the cuckoo, and the nene
12/17/08

@I am the lizard queen: Oh, and I am really liking these 1920s era photos. They really satisfy my inner history nerd.
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AthertonMerriweather
12/17/08

In reply to What Women Wanted For Xmas In 1928
A Federal Bailout?
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the_decider
12/17/08

In reply to What Women Wanted For Xmas In 1928
No one in my life has to guess what I want for Christmas or my birthday. That is why God invented lists.
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prestocaro fears the culling
12/17/08

@the_decider needs the Lazzaroni Amaretti di Saronno cookie ...: God bless kaboodle.
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TheFormerJuneBronson
12/17/08

@the_decider needs the Lazzaroni Amaretti di Saronno cookie ...: I feel this way in theory, but when I send around a list--as everyone in my family does every Christmas--and someone buys me something from it, I'm always let down. Couldn't tell you why. What I'd really like is for someone else to actually know me and think about what I might like and then surprise me with it, instead of getting me what they secretly think I should have for the person they think I should be. I suppose picking off a list would be better than that, but obviously I want something more from the experience than the actual thing.
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brendastarlet is on it
12/17/08

@TheFormerJuneBronson: we make up lists, but a particular set of my relatives just ignores them, and I end up with white chocolate bark and espresso cups that say "Joy!" on them.

I'm still waiting for the Julia Child "The French Chef" DVDs that have been on my list for three years.
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TheFormerJuneBronson
12/17/08

@brendastarlet is on it: That show is out on DVD?! Ohhhh...want!!!
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scullymurphy
12/17/08

In reply to What Women Wanted For Xmas In 1928
I'd like to stop the 'perfume is a good gift' idea right now. It's really not. A woman's perfume is one of the most personal things she wears and really cannot be picked out by someone else.

Yes, i'm talking to you and that bottle of paco rabanne, mother-in-law!
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prestocaro fears the culling
12/17/08

@scullymurphy: Oh, my friends and family only get me perfume they know I already wear. So it is a good present, in that case. I would hate to get something someone had picked out thinking I would like it. yech.
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DangerMouse
12/17/08

@scullymurphy: I agree. Not just anyone can pick out my Body Shop White Musk.

My mom has never worn perfume, EVER, but that doesn't stop people from giving it to her as a gift, only for it to rot away forever in the linen closet.
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Flackette Goes Retro
12/17/08

@scullymurphy: I agree. I do accept gifts of the perfume I have worn since 2001, but I'd rather people didn't get too creative giving me new scents.
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undomesticgoddess doesn't sleep a wink
12/17/08

@scullymurphy: Perfume can be nice if it's something that I've mentioned I want. For some reason, everyone who has ever tried to give me perfume has given me something really sweet-smelling. I am not a piece of fruit or a bakery!
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SomeAuthorGirl
12/17/08

In reply to What Women Wanted For Xmas In 1928
"Pajamas are the smartest of gifts for certain ladies, and negligees for others."

Classic!
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TheUptightMidwesterner
12/17/08

In reply to What Women Wanted For Xmas In 1928
I am all hot-to-trot for this new set of pots and pans that I saw at Daytons-'er-Macy's.

(Given that my husband is now using the economy as vailidation for not getting any gifts for anyone, I will be totally happy to get that Pez dispenser that my kid has been moving from hiding spot to hiding spot for the past 2 weeks.)
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DangerMouse
12/17/08

@TheUptightMidwesterner: Pez dispenser--that is SOOOO CUTE.
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