The Gossard Big M Survey interviewed 1,000 women, ages 18-30, and their answers indicate that not only do 9 out of 10 women play with themselves, two-thirds do it three times a week. The study refers to these as "sessions," which we can assume doesn't refer to the number of orgasms achieved, but rather, the time spent achieving them. 'Cause you know that if you have one, you stick around for more. Orgasms from masturbating are like Payless shoes: Once you get the first pair, you get the second for next to nothing.

Going just from the published findings of this survey, it's impossible to determine, on average, what percentage of the week is spent flying solo. So maybe we can make this a group effort? I'll start off:

- I masturbate, on average, 5 days a week.
- Each "session" lasts for about 12 minutes, with a minimum of 3 orgasms a session, and a max of 13. (I don't know if these means I'm really good at it, or really bad.)
- I sleep, on average, about 6 hours a night, so I'm deducting that from my "week."

Variables:
- I work from home, so I have more opportunities to masturbate on a whim than most women.
- I use a Hitachi Magic Wand, which is indeed magical, so the act is easier. However, I also make up for time saved by being greedy with as many orgasms as possible.

So, if my math is correct, then:
7,080 minutes of my week, I am awake.
60 minutes are spent masturbating.

Which means:
.84% of my week is spent masturbating.

But also, of the days I masturbate:
1,080 minutes of my day are spent awake.
12 minutes are spent masturbating.

Which means:
1.1% of my day is spent masturbating.

Feel free to leave your results in the comments.

92% Of Women Like To Go Solo [The Sun]

Earlier: 10 Pop Songs About Female Masturbation

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P.S. No animals were drugged in the making of this video.