The reader writes:

One of the covers we did featured teen pop star Hilary Duff (October 2004). The next month's cover subject was actress Mischa Barton (November 2004). Our [redacted], a [redacted] by the name of [redacted]—who has quite a reputation in the biz as a [redacted] — expressed dislike at Ms. Barton's hand as it appeared in the retouched cover photography. ("Her hand looks too old and veiny," I believe, was [redacted]'s objection at the time.) Hence, [redacted] instructed our in-house digital retoucher to lift Hilary Duff's hand off the previous month's cover, flip it around, and give it a virtual manicure.

Conclusion: Mischa Barton got Frankenstein-ed — she appeared on the cover of a glossy with national distribution sporting Hilary Duff's hand.

Here, friends is the evidence:


Hilary Duff's hand, October 2004.

Hilary Duff's Hand on Mischa Barton's arm, November 2004. Kudos to the art department lackey who took the time to change the nail polish!

You'd think that having veins in your hand meant you were, you know, alive. But no. Veins=old. And old=bad! Mischa Barton was 18 when the photograph was taken (and on a teen-friendly hit show called The O.C. — what a great message to send fans!). But since Hilary Duff was 17 that year, the younger hand won. Unfortunately, something seems weird about Hilary Duff's shoulder on the left there (click to enlarge main image) so, actually, no one wins.

Earlier: Photoshop Of Horrors Hall Of Shame, 2000-2009

A fully clothed Lezzie Lizze Maguire smooched The Boring Dude. Then she puckered up with The Chick Nobody Likes. Then The Boring Dude snogged The Chick Nobody Likes. A beat. A look. Cut to: An illuminated phallic symbol. That was it. In its entirety. I'm not saying I wanted more, but there was so much hype!

Oh, actually, there was more:
Three people SLEEPING in one bed? The SCANDAL.

These desperate ploys to draw viewers (Tyra's stint!) are wearing as thin as this season's storylines. What I liked about the books (and the show… at first) was the portrayal of incredibly wealthy, privileged NYC high school students with messy, complicated lives… the same, universal teen angst seen in classics like The Catcher In The Rye and Sixteen Candles. The characters proved that money can't buy you love, security, a good seat in the cafeteria (or the Met steps). But watered-down claptrap like the "threesome" — and the fact that most of the characters aren't in high school anymore cheapens the experience.

Also? Threesomes are so '90s.

Earlier: Is Gossip Girl The Best Show Ever? It Could Be, If They'd Let It

[New York, October 20. Image via Splash.]

The name comes from the Latin hilaris, meaning cheerful or merry, and this seems pretty apt. In my mind, Hillary is bawdy — she likes beer, dick jokes, cheeseburgers, and sports. She got in trouble a lot in high school — mostly for talking in class and drawing naked pictures on the overhead when the teacher wasn't looking — but the authorities could never really stay mad at her. She has curly hair, which is often a mess, and she just laughs if you try to stick things in it. She favors jeans and boots, and she may have a little acne, even if she's not a teenager anymore — probably because she doesn't always bother to wash her face after a night out drinking and eating fries. Hillary's a loyal friend, and though she has some insecurities — why, for instance, are her fingernails always bitten down all the way to the quick? — she doesn't let them get in the way of a good time.

Hilary Swank seems like she could once have been this kind of Hillary. The perfectly coiffed Hilary Duff — not so much. And then, of course, there's America's premier Hillary, HRC herself. Her image, especially during the Lewinsky scandal and again as the primaries turned nasty, was pretty much the opposite of party girl. She was supposed to be shrill, power-hungry, domineering — not a laid-back lady who throws back beers with the guys. And her ambitious years at Wellesley seem to have left little time for dick jokes. But Hillary Clinton is also known for her laugh. And while she's gotten criticized for it, a laugh may actually be the sanest response to some of the shit she's had to deal with. Remember how Al Gore became cool after he stopped running for office? Maybe with the presidential campaign behind her, Hillary Clinton can let out her inner class clown.

One thing's for sure — her name is making a comeback. Hillary peaked at #268 in the eighties, then took a huge dive right around the time of that whole Lewinsky thing. By the early 2000, it had dropped out of the top 1000 baby names, only to rebound a little bit — and then dip again right around the time Hillary Clinton ran for president. This is rather depressing news — was Clinton really so hated that her very name became anathema? — but you can't keep Hillary down. The name has now rebounded to #715 — it's like it woke up with a really nasty hangover, ate some eggs, and went out to play a game of basketball.

Though it's much less popular, Hillary can also be a boy's name — and since androgynous names are supposedly having a renaissance (thanks in part to Heidi Klum's little girl Lou), maybe we'll see more little male Hillaries running around. But the Hillary I knew best was actually a hermit crab, a childhood pet I named after mountaineer Edmund Hillary (that's him in the hat). Tragically, s/he got eaten by my brother's crab, which given its personality was probably a Courtney. I came home to find what was once my crab reduced to a little pile of dismembered parts. I cried — but a Hillary probably would've found it funny.

Hillary [Baby Name Wizards]
Hillary [Wikipedia]
Gender-Bending Baby Names [The Daily Beast]

• The Kardashian sisters are going to put on their thinking kaps and hopefully kome up with a kollection for Bebe. [Kim Kardashian]
• Which makes about as much sense as Jermaine Jackson's rumored clothing line. [Times Of India]

• Megan Fox has been gunning for her just-announced Armani campaign, for which she was paid a rumored $2 million, for years — or approximately as long as she's been famous. She has worn Armani to events and finally met the designer at his couture show this summer. [AP]
• After missing the opportunity to release a Sarah Jessica Parker scent to coincide with the Sex And The City movie, Coty, the clever clogs company behing the actress' perfume deal, vowed to be prepared next time around. And lo, SJP NYC, a cute little pink thing in a beveled bottle, will launch next May, just in time for Sex And The City 2: Electric Boogaloo. [WWD]
• Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas has signed a perfume deal with Avon, the preferred perfume partner of Reese Witherspoon, Courteney Cox, and Patrick Dempsey. [WWD]
• See how Selena Gomez's new clothing line, Dream Out Loud, stacks up against the luminaries of tween clothing collections past: the Olsen twins' Wal-Mart line, Miley Cyrus and Max Azria's concatenation of sequins, and the criminally God-awful Stuff By Hilary Duff. [Refinery29]
• Yeohlee Teng has been honored by the Smithsonian Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum. She says, "Fashion is so often about the Eighties, about the Seventies, but not about original thinking." Teng's preferred design philosophy? "Construct a cube, then put it on the body and watch the body activate it." Check out her current show at the Crow Collection of Asian Art in downtown Dallas. [DN]
• In some kind of grand, music-fashion-industry circle jerk, Michael Stipe will give an award to Renzo Rosso, Jon Bon Jovi will present something to Kenneth Cole, Oscar de la Renta will receive a prize from Grace Coddington, and Dita Von Teese will bestow something on Stephen Jones. In fashion, everyone's a winner. [WWD]
• Coach creative director Reed Krakoff is not only getting an eponymous fashion line, but a New York Fashion Week debut. Expect to see Krakoff on the schedule for February. [FWD]
• When I, like the Italian luxury — luxury as in $30,000 suits — label Brioni, turn 65, remind me to celebrate by releasing a limited-edition perfume and selling each of my 7,000 bottles for $399 (100 ml) r $830 (300 ml). Then, inexplicably, I'll invite Bryan Ferry to the launch. [WWD]
• Nitrolicious was given a free pair of Steve Madden's "Seryna" booties — the alleged knock-off Alexander McQueen is suing Steve Madden over — and posted an understandably glowing review, with photos. But with praise like, "These are really a good copy of the original boots but cost a fraction of the price," not to mention the fact that posts like these serve as timestamped evidence that Steve Madden is continuing to promote the product, could the company only end up developing Alexander McQueen's case? [Nitrolicious]
• We know Vera Wang won't be on the next season of Dancing With The Stars, but is it because the producers wouldn't let her design her own costumes? [FWD]
• Wang's president of creative direction, Constance Darrow, announced her resignation from the company yesterday. The designer is understood to have offered Darrow a promotion to stay. The senior vice president of worldwide marketing and communications, Elizabeth Musmanno, left Vera Wang last week. These developments could be related either to Wang's rumored reality television show, or to the arrival of new company president Mario Grauso, who starts work today. [WWD]
• Thus says model Liya Kebede: "Mothers are the world's best stimulus package because they invest in their families and their communities. When a mother dies, her children are up to 10 times more likely to die within two years. They are less likely to be immunized, more likely to be malnourished, more likely to contract HIV, and more likely to be exploited. When a mother lives, her children are fed, attend school, and know that someone exists who will do absolutely anything to make their lives better." [TDB]
• The American launch of A*Muse, Richie Rich and Pamela Anderson's eco-friendly swimwear line, sounds much like the international launch, at New Zealand Fashion Week in September. Even down to Richie's rollerskates. (I'm beginning to feel bad for the models who have to wear the samples, no doubt well-rubbed with body makeup and other people's sweat, by now.) [People]
• Ruffian's new collection for Anthropologie, Mise en Scene, is out. It's less whimsical than the retailer's typical fare, though the connection to vintage fashion is still obvious. [WWD]

[New York, September 2. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[New York, August 26. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Guess what? Lindsay Lohan borrowed $2 million worth of jewels from Beverly Hills store XIV Karats and never returned them.

She's saying the jewelry was in her safe, which, as we know, was recently ripped out of the wall and stolen. Something fishy here? [Radar Online]

• Lindsay and Samantha Ronson: Moving at the same time. They're sick of the paparazzi outside of their respective houses. Lindsay will move into a luxury high-rise building, where there's a doorman and she will feel "safer." Sam is also moving into a high-rise, but not the same building. [E!]
• Brody Jenner and Girls Gone Wild's Joe Francis were in an "epic fight" outside of a club in LA. Inside, Brody and his girlfriend Jayde Nicole saw Joe harassing a woman they knew; Jayde threw a drink on Joe; Joe pulled Jayde's hair and punched her in the face. Brody was yelling at Joe and they both got thrown out of the club. Once outside, Brody punched Joe in the face, then someone tased him. [TMZ]
• Joe Francis is wanted for questioning in the assault of Jayde Nicole. he allegedly grabbed her by the hair, punched her, threw her to the ground and kicked her. [Radar Online]
• As mentioned last night, Chris Brown went out on the town after court. His probation requires him to "abstain from the use of all alcoholic beverages and stay out of places where they are the chief item of sale." Los Angeles Probation Department Spokeswoman Kari Webb says if Chris did violate probation, "It won't be taken lightly." [E!]
• Britney Spears and Jason Trawick are "cooling off" their relationship. A source says that they are taking some time apart — and that Britney wanted it. Apparently Jason has "always loved her" so he is giving her space, since that's what she asked for. [Ok!]
• Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz is in the promotional trailer for her latest single, playing a DJ. This paper calls him a "flop" with "dodgy dance moves." [Daily Mail]
• Is Hilary Duff indulging in some diva behavior on the set of Gossip Girl? A source says she wouldn't come out of her trailer on Tuesday. Maybe she was refusing to work unless she got to kiss Chuck Bass? That's what SOME of us would do. [Page Six]
• Was MJ a stoner? According to a search warrant, marijuana was found in Michael Jackson's home shortly after he died, as well as temazepam, lorzaepam and diazepam — all used to treat sleeplessness. [People]
• Bleaching cream was found in the master bathroom at Michael Jackson's house; but the substance formerly thought to be heroin was not heroin. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe says that all the guys coming out and saying that they could be the father of Michael Jackson's kids just "want their 15 minutes of fame." She said this while at the offices of Dr. Arnold Klein. And while wearing that three wolves howling at a full moon T-shirt. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe has been invited to Michael Jackson's funeral. If she accepts, it will be her first supervised visit with the kids. [NY Post]
• Dr. Arnold Klein will not petition for a role in the upbringing of Michael Jackson's children. His lawyer says Klein got involved because he was concerned about the kids having a normal upbringing not related to show business. Jackson told Klein repeatedly that he wanted his children to have a formal education and not be subjected to the rigors of traveling and performing. [AP]
• Michael Jackson's family will be flying his DNA to a UK clinic. A source says: "With everything that's at stake the last thing the Jackson family need is someone using his sperm to give birth to a child and produce another potential heir to Michael's estate." [Mirror]
• Michael Jackson's death caused a bump in magazine sales: $55 million in additional newsstand sales for magazine publishers.[MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson had a low credit score. [TMZ]
• Authorities say that Ryan Jenkins didn't start fleeing for the Canadian border until 24 hours after Jasmine Fiore's body was found, and even then he had a three-day head start ahead of cops. [AP]
• Police found blood and evidence of a struggle in Jasmine Fiore's car. [NY Daily News]
• The Divorced Dads show is looking really sad. [Page Six]
• LeAnn Rimes is paying for her husband of seven years, Dean Sheremet, to relocate to New York. He'll have a Tribeca bachelor pad and attend the French Culinary Institute. [NY Daily News]
• Lady Gaga appears in FHM wearing a high-cut latex bodysuit and a come-hither look. Pic at the link. [The Sun]
• From a profile on Joseph Gordon-Levitt: So, who'd be his model, as a director? "It's got to be Obama." Really? As a director? "Of course he's a director, he's exactly a director." He's smiling, but his eyes tell you: he's dead serious. [Guardian]
• Contrary to an earlier report, Derek Jeter is not engaged to Minka Kelly. [NY Daily News]
• Two thousand viewers were polled and around 90% think that Simon Cowell and BBC broadcaster Jonathan Ross are paid far too much. [Daily Mail]
• Daniel Craig will star in psychological thriller Dream House, about a New York publishing exec who relocates his family to a small New England town, only to learn that their new home was the scene of a vicious murder. Jim Sheridan (My Left Foot, In The Name Of the Father) will direct. [Variety]
• Robin Williams will star in Wedding Banned, a Disney flick in which he'll play one-half of a long-divorced couple who kidnap their daughter on her wedding day in order to keep her from making a mistake. [Variety]
• Chelsea Handler on her breakup with boss/boyfriend Comcast CEO Ted Harbert: "I only comment on other people's lives, not my own." [People]
• Keanu Reeves is once again dating Anita Hodson, who he was in a relationship with in 2008. [Daily Express]
• Donna Summer played Coney Island last night and almost all the politicians in New York showed up. [NY Times]
• The new flick Surrogates stars Bruce Willis, but he's not on any of the billboards. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Model Brooklyn Decker — wife of Andy Roddick — will guest star on Ugly Betty. [Page Six]
• Kerry Katona's accountant claims she left him black and blue after attacking him at his office. [Daily Mail]
• "It's ultimately derived from 'steampunk,' which is a look that's based on industrial elements, sort of like what people in the 1800s would imagine the future to look like. I just called the main characters mechanized rag dolls, which isn't as sexy." — Elijah Wood, on the "stitchpunk" characters in 9, the movie for which he voices the main character. [WSJ]
• "I'm playing Julia as Julie's idea of what she was like, so I'm not really 'doing' Julia Child," she says. "While I felt a responsibility to her memory and the legacy of the work she did, I didn't feel I was replicating her because I don't presume to know what she was like. That's my rationalisation, my 'out', because I thought that even if I made a big, glaring mistake with her I'm really only a figment of someone else's imagination." — Meryl Streep, on Julie And Julia. [Telegraph]

• Lindsay Lohan left her phone in a New York deli. When she came back to retrieve it an employee wanted to check the security tape to make sure it was hers, which made Linds freak out and call the cops.

• By the time the police showed up the situation had been "diffused." The deli worker said he had no idea who she was. [TMZ]
• Kate Gosselin has been spending her weekends away from the kids with bodyguard Steve Neild... and his wife. A source says his wife Gina, "is one of her closest friends, so she and Steve invited Kate to spend the first weekend she had to be away from the kids as a way to show their support."[Radar Online]
• In yet another interview, Kate Major said of Jon Gosselin, "I don't have a lot of respect for him. I think he handled the situation very poorly. He did not act like an adult or a grown man or a father. And it's just sad. I think the fame has just gone to his head and he's on some bachelor romp... You cannot treat people (that way). It's not fair to me, it's not fair to Hailey, it's not fair to his ex-wife, his kids or anyone else involved in the situation." [CBS News]
• Police searched the San Diego hotel where Ryan Jenkins and Jasmine Fiore were staying two days before she was found dead. The hotel's general manager doesn't think she was killed there because the walls are thin and there were no disturbances reported, but they may have gone to a poker party at a nearby Hilton on the night she died. [TMZ]
• Sources say Jasmine Fiore was strangled after midnight last Friday and surveillance videos show Jenkins leaving a hotel with a suitcase that may have held her body. He is seen leaving the hotel with other luggage but Jasmine never left. The car he left in and her cell phone have not been found. It seems the text her friend received from her phone that said "suck it" was sent long after she was dead. [TMZ]
• The producers of Megan Wants A Millionaire say they were not aware of Ryan Jenkins' record when he was cast on the show and would have never let him on if they did know. A statement from the company said that they, "did have in place what it thought was a thorough vetting process that involved complete background checks by an outside company for all contestants on its shows. Clearly, the process did not work properly in this case." [People]
• Jasmine Fiore's former fiancé Travis Heinrich says that she was hiding a phone line from her husband because he'd go through her texts and that she told him a month ago she was "in over her head" and didn't know how to get out of their relationship. Heinrich says he saw Jenkins hit Flore in the arm so hard that she fell backwards into a pool. [People]
• Commercials for 1-800-YES-GIRL featuring Jasmine Fiore are still running on TV, but the company says they pulled the ads in January and they shouldn't be airing on any station. [TMZ]
• A judge denied Nadya Suleman's petition to block outside guardians from overseeing her children's finances. The judge recommended the Department of Social Services investigate the matter. [Radar Online]
• Katy Perry yelled at airport security personnel going through her five suitcases after a 26 hour journey from Australia to Scotland. She says, "I swear, I never feel more like cattle than when I have to go through airport security. They hate their lives and they hate us for sure. By the last flight, the third time going through security, I lost it on a security person." [Daily Express]
• Miley Cyrus was seen kissing her Australian co-star Liam Jemsworth in an airport in Tennessee. [Daily Express]
• Yesterday Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie took Maddox and Pax to a local pet shop to buy gerbils, goldfish, and a cactus. On Wednesday they took Shiloh and Zahara out to lunch and both girls wore stick on tattoos. [Us]
• Penelope Cruz says she's going to reduce her workload, fueling speculation that she's pregnant. She says: "I realised I was measuring the years going by according to whatever the films were I was working on, the countries I was shooting in. I was a total workaholic. I think that's what I needed to do then. Now I can work, but I'm not on movie sets the whole year. I can say no until there is something I really need to do." [Daily Express]
• In light of Susan Boyle's mental breakdown this year's X Factor contestants will be given psychological tests before appearing on the show. [The Sun]
• Heather Locklear is in talks to reprise her role as Amanda Woodward on the new Melrose Place. [People]
• Carrie Prejean is in talks to compete on season three of The Apprentice. "Carrie really wants to do it," says an insider.. "[Donald] Trump keeps going back and forth over it, he doesn't really care either way." [Fox News]
• Carrie Prejean's lawyer says she will not be on Celebrity Apprentice explaining, "they couldn't work it out with her schedule." [TMZ]
• Roger Avary, the Oscar-winning screenwriter of Pulp Fiction has plead guilty to vehicular manslaughter and drunk driving. He was driving when his car hit a telephone pole, injuring his wife and killing a passenger. [Hollywood Reporter]
• LeAnn Rimes was questioned by police about her involvement with a hit-and-run in Brentwood and then went to hang out with Eddie Cibrian. A source says she rear ended a car stopped in the left turn lane and no one was injured. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's burial has been delayed again. Now it will take place on September 3. Joe Jackson says the family requested August 31, but that day was too problematic because that's when schools reopen. [TMZ]
• La Toya Jackson is in talks to appear on the British show Strictly Come Dancing. A source said, "La Toya would be a great name to have on the show - if she chats about Michael live on TV, or dedicates an emotional performance to him, it will make for fantastic viewing." [The Mirror]
• Megan Fox will host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live on September 26. [Life & Style]
• Rosie O'Donnell addressed her marital problem in a poem describing her encounter with a TMZ reporter. She wrote: "read off his cheat sheet/'and u and ur wife... he said ...whats up with that'/marriage is hard i told him/when u r married 12 years/ lemme know how it goes /it aint easy" Also according to the poem, she saw District 9 last night and is sad the summer's almost over. [ONTD]
• One Tree Hill actor Antwon Tanner is facing 10 years in jail after pleading guilty to selling Social Security numbers. [Newsday]
• Director David Yates has picked the spot where Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be split into two films. Also, Jamie Waylett, who plays Crabbe and was convicted of marijuana possession will not be in the film. [MTV]
• Milla Jovovich and her fiancé, director Paul Anderson, are getting married on Saturday. "It's going to be small," she says, "It's just going to be family and close friends. And it's at our home and it's going to be kind of Havana/Cuban, like very California-Spanish feeling. It's going to be nice." [People]
• Moving to Lifetime didn't hurt Project Runway's ratings. The season premiere had 4.2 million viewers, making it the network's biggest premiere ever as well as the biggest Project Runway premiere ever. [E!]
• At the link Daniel Vosovic and Korto Momolu talk about the results of the Project Runway All Star Challenge. If you still have it Tivoed, there are big spoilers. They say of Chris March: "You don't understand, we thought there was a health issue. He slept for probably half the time. You know how much of a slap in the face it is to all of us who are scrambling to get our collections done? He slept for probably half the time... It was insane! I guess he just knows how to execute an idea really quickly." [People]
• Daniel Vosovic says Nina Garcia is his favorite judge because, "She just has a way of cutting through the [foolishness] like no one else. As an editor it's her job to look and be aware of what everyone else is doing. I think that perspective is something that not all the judges have, which is what makes the entire panel great. I think that as an editor she's just really good at what she does and her feedback is just so spot-on." [L.A. Times]
• Hilary Duff says since she's been working on Gossip Girl, "Everyone's been really, really gracious to me and sweet to me... I'm a huge fan of the show. They called me and said come on and do a few episodes. I jumped at the chance." [People]
• Robin Williams says of his three adult children, "I'm so proud of them in different ways, but have they always been cherubs? No, but that's been part of the process. And am I the 'world's greatest dad?' Not at all, I'm a work-in-progress, but I love them." [Reuters]
• When asked about her boyfriend Dominic Cooper, Amanda Seyfriend said 'Things end. Things end. And we're in a weird business. We're surrounded by just strange people, strange influences,." Now he's reportedly been caught making out back stage with one of his co-stars in a London play. 'One of the cast walked in on them - and it didn't look like it was part of the play,' says the source. 'It was just the two of them and they looked quite surprised to have been disturbed. [Daily Mail]
• Jane Lynch, who played Julia Child's sister in Julie & Julia, said of working with Meryl Streep, "I did my best to hold it together inside, because you're working with someone who is not only a legend, but somebody who has been a hero of mine for a long time. So you kind of have to let that go and just do your job. ... We were shooting in a restaurant in Brooklyn, and we were waiting for the light so we could cross into our trailers. And she slipped her arm in mine and we crossed the street together, and I - aaach! - it was wonderful." [AP]
• RHONY's Bethenny Frankel blogged about last night's episode of RHOA saying, "Kim hit the skids for me by bringing or even associating with Michael Lohan. I once hosted a panel with him and Nene hilariously said it right when she said, 'Michael Lohan, how random is that?' Michael Lohan is a termite whose own daughter won't associate with him. He has leeched onto Jill Zarin and Jon Gosselin and now has moved to Atlanta. What an embarrassment. I cried when Nene said for him to get his ass back to Malibu. Unfortunately, he probably can't afford Malibu. His last name might as well be Ho-han. That man is a press ho, and coming from me, that's a pretty big statement." [E!]

• George Michael was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence yesterday after driving his car into the side of a truck. According to a police spokeswoman, he was "later released without charge" after five hours in police custody. [E!]

• Michael seemed "seemed completely disorientated, like he had no idea what was going on," says Laurie Rowe, the driver of the truck Michael hit, "He looked totally dazed and even tried to climb into the cab of my lorry. He kept saying he was worried he would go to jail." Luckily, both drivers were able to walk away from the crash. [DailyMail]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin were spotted together yesterday, along with their children, just a day after the couple had a "blowout" fight over Jon's babysitter choices that resulted in Kate being removed from the family's home by the police. [USMagazine]
• Meanwhile, Hailey Glassman says Jon Gosselin is her "first love" and that she's not in it for the publicity: "I'm not some famewhore," she says, "I've been in hiding for three months. Do I choose my life or do I choose Jon? I stay in my house with my parents where I feel safe. Take my 15 minutes, you can have it back. Please take it back!" [USWeekly]
• Jerry Seinfeld will be the first guest on Jay Leno's new show. [Reuters]
• Robert Pattinson is reportedly "comforting" Camilla Belle after her breakup with Joe Jonas. "They've been on the phone every night," says a source, "They sit and talk for hours on end, just making each other laugh. He also sends her sweet little text messages throughout the day." [ShowbizSpy]
• An arrest warrant has been issued for Bobby Brown, who allegedly has failed to pay child support for two of his children. [Reuters]
• Mila Kunis has happy memories of her former That 70's Show male costars: "[Ashton] Kutcher used to help me with my science homework. Wilmer [Valderrama] taught me to drive. Topher [Grace] talked about movies all the time. And Danny [Masterson] took me to my first club and bought me my first drink. He was my prom date, too." [PageSix]
• Brad Pitt says he quit smoking pot once he became a dad: "I certainly had my day. Now it kind of turns me into a doughnut," he says, "I'm a dad now. You want to be alert and my eyes used to glaze over when I did that." [DailyMail]
• Ugh: the crypt directly above Marilyn Monroe's is being auctioned off on Ebay by a widow who plans to move her husband's remains in order to "pay off the $1 million mortgage on her Beverly Hills home." [TheSun]
• Hugh Grant says he's considering retirement due to a severe case of stage fright: "In recent years, I've had really bad attacks, where I totally freeze up," he says, "I thought, 'Well, if I'm going to get stage fright, then I'm packing it in.'" [DailyExpress]
• Rachel McAdams ran into Antonio Sabato, Jr. on the set of Today, when both of them were promoting new projects, and was a bit starstruck. "Rachel was blushing and told Antonio she had the biggest crush on him in high school," says a source. Sabato returned the compliment by sending McAdams a bouquet of flowers. [PageSix]
• Charlize Theron hopes to have a big family someday: "I just know I'm going to have five boys." [TheSun]
• Cybill Shepherd says she left Elvis Presley after realizing that his drug addiction was out of control: "He said, 'Here, take these,' and he had pills in his hands and I said, 'Aren't you gonna take some of them?' and he said, 'Well, I've already had mine. He was almost already asleep and I went and flushed them down the toilet, returned his emerald and diamond ring and just said, 'Thankyou, but I can't.'" [DailyExpress]
• Lady Gaga gets fairly naked and kisses a woman in her new video. Apparently this is still considered "controversial." In 2009. [DailyMail]
• Hilary Duff has traveled to Bogota, Colombia, in order to distribute 3,000 backpacks filled with food to poor children via her Blessings in a Backpack program. [NYTimes]
• "If a girl wears a short skirt or dress, men automatically think, 'She wants it, and she's probably an animal in bed.' I just want to feel sexy today. I don't want you." -Amber Rose [PageSix]
• M.C. Hammer says he's planning a "companion" piece to Please, Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em. The album, called "Don't Hurt Em", will "capture again the very essence and vibes of 'Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em,' but updated with the sonic quality of today ... There'll be a lot of parallels between the two, but certainly it'll be very 2010." That's all well and good, but when are we going to get an Addams Family Groove remix!? [Reuters]

[New York, August 6. Image via INFDaily.]

[New York, August 3. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Michael Jackson's will, which was released today, leaves his entire state to the Michael Jackson Family Trust, which provides for his children and mother and distributes money to several charities. It doesn't say where he wants to be buried. [TMZ]

• A judge ruled today that Katherine Jackson will remain the temporary administrator of Michael Jackson's estate based on the assumption that there was no will. Now that a will has been filed, the named executors wanted a judge to nullify Katherine's power to move assets around. [TMZ]
• There are tons of rumors about Michael Jackson's funeral arrangements. There may be a public ceremony at the Staples Center in L.A. followed by a 125-mile funeral procession to the Neverland ranch. Nothing has been finalized but the Jacksons have been talking to the police and they're preparing for the media circus and crowd control. [L.A. Times]
• A source says no public Neverland viewing of Michael Jackson is planned for this weekend. They say his funeral and burial will probably take place in L.A. [Breitbart]
• Hotels near the Neverland Ranch have been sold out since Michael Jackson's death. [TMZ]
• Though doctors were not able to save Michael Jackson, doctors at UCLA Medical Center have pioneered a method that's known for saving people hours after they've flatlined. It's unclear if the procedure was used on MJ, but it involves giving CPR, using a lung machine, and using special procedures to gradually restore blood and oxygen flow. [AP]
• Nona Paris Lola Ankhesenamun Jackson of London has just filed a petition claiming that she is Michael Jackson's wife. She asks, "that all my husband's properties, monies and assets must be transferred to me immediately" and "my husband's body must be returned to the coroner's body [sic] or the mortuary immediately." She adds, "Though he died to this earth he lives with my father Khalid Lucifer [a.k.a. Satan]." [TMZ]
• Registered nurse Cherilyn Lee, said on GMA this morning that Michael Jackson begged her to give him Diprivan but she warned him, "you might not wake up the next morning." [TMZ]
• Nobody knew where Michael Jackson's dermatologist Dr. Arnold Klein (who is also rumored to be the father of his children) was for the past few days but he was spotted returning to his office last night. [TMZ]
• A delivery man who worked for Mickey Fine pharmacy, which sued Michael Jackson over an unpaid $100,000 bill, says he used to make deliveries to the Jackson family's Encino home, which Michael frequently visited. [TMZ]
• Looks like those tabloid rumors that Bradley Cooper would only break poor Jennifer Aniston's heart may be true. He was spotted last night on a date with Renee Zellweger. "She didn't really eat much, but he ate," someone in the restaurant said. "They were very flirty. Either he's being very gentlemanly, 'cause that's the way he is, or they're dating. He paid. He pulled out her chair, that kind of stuff." [People]
• Brad Pitt bought "Never-EverLand" a work of art by Atelier Van Lieshout that looks like a trailer with six person-sized cubby holes. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Though the police deny it, there are rumors that R.Kelly is being investigated for committing statutory rape, and that police searched his home for evidence on his 17-year-old girlfriend. [ONTD]
• R. Kelly released a statement saying, "A wildly exaggerated and inaccurate report has been circulating on the Internet that Olympia Fields police showed up at R. Kelly's house with a search warrant just before the singer left for his three-week concert tour in Africa last month and then searched the place looking for a missing 17-year-old girl. This is completely false. No police ever showed up at Kelly's house with a search warrant nor was his house ever searched. It is also not true, as the unsubstantiated report claimed, that any such girl ever stayed overnight in Kelly's house or that she had been there but left shortly before some mythical police search. [PR Newswire]
• Watch the trailer for Coco Before Chanel starring Audrey Tautou here: [Elle]
• Nicole Richie is designing maternity clothes for A Pea In The Pod. [People]
• Hilary Duff is joining the cast of Gossip Girl. She'll play Olivia Burke, a movie star who enrolls at NYU in search of a traditional college experience and ends up rooming with Vanessa. [Entertainment Weekly]
• C. Thomas Howell will host a CMT reality show about extreme Americans, featuring people who races ostriches and juggle chainsaws. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Kim Kardashian has put some of her clothes up for auction on e-bay to benefit Dream Foundation, which grants wishes for adults suffering from life-limiting illnesses. Kim said, "I love to be able to pass along some of my favorite pieces to someone else who will get to enjoy them as much as I have. I even have many items I never had a chance to wear yet. A few times a year, I bring my outfits, shoes, and accessories to Auction Cause who puts them on eBay for me." [People]
• When asked if she would pose in Playboy like her sister Kim, Khloe Kardashian said, "I like doing things for a reason, and not just because someone gave me a big check, so I personally will say, not right now, but I can't say never." [E!]
• Stephen Moyer of True Blood says he's gotten his girlfriend/costar Anna Paquin into boxing. He says, "I like the sport and she likes the blood. I'm like, 'Stop the fight, people are getting hurt, I can't bear it!' and she's going, 'Go on, hit 'em!' She loves it. She boxes too." [People]
• Sacha Baron Cohen is nude on the cover of the gay magazine Attitude. While in character as Bruno he says Simon Cowell is his gay icon and says of Kylie and Danni Minogue, "I love them. Kylie's like ein Barbie doll zat's been shrunk a little bit and Dannii is like a Kylie doll zat's been left on the radiator for too long." [The Sun]
• Tony Romo says his relationship with Jessica Simpson "is not hard." He explains, "It's a normal relationship... There's nothing exotic or crazy about it. We're two people who care about each other, and it's not hard to make it work when both of you want to see the other one. We make each other happy." [People]
• In addition to directing The Hobbit Guillermo del Toro has just released a novel and plans to make a Frankenstein film and to adapt H.P. Lovecraft's At the Mountains of Madness. [The L.A. Times]
• During a press conference Gwyneth Paltrow says that she fell in love with Spain during a trip in high school and now she goes back every year and makes sure her children speak Spanish. She said in fluent Spanish, "It is so different from the United States. It seemed to have a history, and the buildings are years and years and years old. Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it's from 500 B.C., it's incredible," she said. "Also, the way people live over there. They seem to enjoy life a little bit more. They aren't running around as much as in New York. They enjoy time with the family. They don't always have their Blackberries on." [AP]

• Lindsay Lohan turns 23 tomorrow, but she's allegedly already been paid $70,000 by the MGM Grand for hosting an all-day "pre-celebration" in Las Vegas last Saturday.

Even though LL changed bathing suits five times and promoted her Sevin Nyne tanning product, a source says: "None of her really close friends were there" and LL just did it for the cash. [Page Six]

• Meghan McCain thinks Hilary Duff would be a great choice to play her in a movie: "I think she's really hot - hotter than me - but I'd still want her to play me." [Gatecrasher]
• Even though Mariah Carey was supposedly dressed like Eminem for her "Obsessed" video, she looks more like that dude from Linkin Park, no? [Gatecrasher]
• Heidi Klum: Expecting a girl? There were pink cupcakes at her baby shower! [Gatecrasher]
• "A close Michael Jackson confidant tells The Daily Beast's Gerald Posner he believes the star triggered his death with a foolhardy plan to void a concert commitment: mixing pills to prompt a minor hospital visit." "Like a child who doesn't want to go to school, Michael thought he could get away from his obligations if he had a 'note from the doctor.'" [The Daily Beast]
• A registered nurse named Cherilyn Lee has stated that Michael Jackson was an insomniac who begged for strong sedative drugs to induce sleep. [AP, AP]
• TMZ says: "We're told the drug Propofol was discovered at the [Jackson] residence. The drug is used to put people under anesthesia before surgery. It is an extremely powerful drug that is only available to medical personnel. As one source said, 'There is no conceivable way this drug can be properly prescribed for home use.'" [TMZ]
• If Neverland becomes a memorial site, don't go looking for Michael Jackson's animals — they won't be coming back. [TMZ]
• The man who kept Neverland from being auctioned says: "We must be prepared for the fact that visitors and fans will come, with or without permission or an invitation." [Yahoo via E!]
• A concrete truck arrived at Neverland yesterday. Preparations for the memorial? [TMZ]
• "Ukrainians Want Village Named After Michael Jackson." [Breitbart]
• "There is nobody who knew Michael like I did… For instance, people always think of him as talking in that high, soft voice, but he didn't really speak like that - it was a facade. Still to this day I am not sure why he did it. The Michael I knew talked like a real man, acted like a real man and shook a hand like a real man." — David Gest, an authority on manliness. [The Sun]
• Here, Quincy Jones talks about the music he and Michael Jackson made together. [WSJ]
• In his last "interview," — which seems to be just chatter from the Staples center — Michael Jackson was rehearsing and said: "This is where I belong. I am so excited. We need a bit more work on a few more songs but we're so nearly there. This is what it's all about. Me being on stage." [Mirror]
• The Iowa State Fair is planning a butter sculpture of Michael Jackson. [MSNBC]
• Video. From Dolly Parton. Mourning Michael Jackson, whom she says had "the heart of an angel." [EW]
• "Joe Jackson Still Has Power To Upset Family" Duh. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Photographer Kevin Mazur took pictures of Michael Jackson's rehearsal at the Staples Center. He says: "Michael was physically fit and performing the same way that I photographed him through the years. You can look at the photos. I documented it, I was there." He says he was shocked to find out Jackson had died a few days later, because: "He was full of energy and full of life."[BBC News]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but the Michael Jackson shot OK! is using on their cover this week is being called "ghoulish" and a "disgrace." [Page Six]
• Michael Jackson's will: Filed today. [TMZ]
• 200 friends, colleagues and family members — including jailed son Redmond O'Neal, Ryan O'Neal, Alana Stewart, Lee Majors, Ernie Hudson, Cheryl Tiegs, Jackie Collins, Joan Collins, Gary Shandling, Marla Maples and hairstylist Jose Eber attended the funeral of Farrah Fawcett. [E!, CNN]
• Alana Stewart delivered a eulogy for Farrah Fawcett, saying:
  "Goodbye sweet girl… [Farrah] never felt sorry for herself during her illness ... she fought cancer furiously. She's the most beautiful angel in heaven. She always seemed so indestructible." [People]
• Forbes has released it's "Hollywood's Top-Earning Actresses List" and Angelina Jolie is number one, with poor lonely desperate single Jennifer Aniston as number 2. Meryl Streep is third. But! There's a gender pay gap! "All told, the top 10 actors earned $393 million, compared with $183 million for the top 10 actresses." [Forbes]
• "Sacha Baron Cohen Attempts To Appease Gay Community By Posing For Attitude Magazine." Nude, of course. [Daily Mail]
• Life & Style magazine asked Robert Pattinson's aunt if he should date Kristen Stewart. She replied: "I don't think it would be a good idea for Robert to be in a serious relationship with Kristen. How can he live his life with a fellow star, with their every move being watched just like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?" Thank you. Very helpful. [Daily Express]
• Robert Pattinson was seen hanging out with a pack of guys and going un recognized by wearing a baseball cap. [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle will not appear on Ugly Betty, even though that's what we heard. [ONTD]
• The Beckhams have their 10-year wedding anniversary coming up! David will whisk Victoria away on a "surprise" trip to Richard Branson's private island in the Caribbean. Although is it a surprise if it's in The Sun? [WWD]
• From a Q&A with True Blood's Anna Paquin: You and Stephen [Moyer] are in a relationship off-camera as well. The passion you have on the show is palpable — did it transition from on-screen to off-screen or vise-versa?: "We met at his screen test when they were doing, essentially, a chemistry read to make sure the Sookie they had cast was going to click with the Bill they wanted to cast, and shockingly enough we ended up liking each other. But, it kind of all happened at the same time — it's kind of hard to say which came first because when you click with someone and you have that sort of – vibe — that's just how we've always been around each other. Nothing's really changed except we live together now." Was your first kiss then on-screen or off-screen?: "Ha. I'm not telling you that." [Out]
• Usher's wife was surprised by the divorce filing and "had every reason to believe her marriage was intact." Uh-oh. [USA Today]
• Uh-oh, this item snarks on Stacy London's outfit. Not cool. [Page Six]
• Kerry Washington is looking for a "cheap" furnished apartment in Manhattan, which means $3,000 a month. Can it be done? [Page Six]
• Cute! Christina Applegate will play Drew Barrymore's big sister in Going The Distance, a rom com about a long-distance relationship — which also stars Drew's maybe-boyfriend Justin Long. [E!]
• A street corner in Queens, NYC will be named for Run-DMC. Slay all suckers who perpetrate and lay down law from state to state. [NY Times]
• "I wish to not talk unless we're doing the scene. I enjoy it that way. Johnny seemed happy to do it that way, too. So the answer is: No, we really didn't get to know each other better between each take. So I guess I'll have to wait and get to know Johnny Depp someday." — Christian Bale, on Public Enemies. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• "I prefer to walk away with the experience as opposed to walking away with the product… I like to portray a character, inhabit a character and build character, but I don't want to watch the end result necessarily, because it becomes about money then and I'd rather not think about that. My children have seen more films of mine than I have. They've seen all of them within reason - many more than I have. I have no plans to see them - any of them." — Johnny Depp. [BBC News]
• "It is deff. in my top 3 favorite books of all time! :) so disturbing but beautifully written." — Miley Cyrus, on Identical, in which twin sisters escape troubled lives — one by sex and drugs, the other by bingeing and cutting herself. [Page Six]
• "The script kept changing and evolving to the point where I was no longer appropriate for it. Cate's 10 years older than me, which is more suitable for the script. If they'd recast with Keira Knightley I'd have been heartbroken but they've gone for something different – and better in my opinion. If I had the choice between Cate Blanchett and me I'd go for Cate Blanchett." — Sienna Miller, on not being Maid Marian in Robin Hood. [Daily Express]

[Image via Lindsay Lohan's Twitter]

The Good:


Krysten Ritter's pretty take on the Grecian trend has a flirty, 20's vibe, no? A little Cyd Charisse in that endless ballet sequence from Singin in the Rain?


Hilarie Burton pretty frock would be such a good prom dress! Maybe some One Tree Hill fan will take the hint? Does that show have fans?


Aw, ballet-influenced togs (the "What I Want!" in Lucky at least once a year) like A.J. Michalka's can be so pretty.


Chelsea Staub's crisp little number is a fun take on the "not-obviously-sexy" trend that's duking it out with the bandage.


The Bad:
Taraji P. Henson is my favorite, and I like short. And I dig cleavage. But it's distracting to do both!


Is it Aly Michalka's fault that this jeweled detail kinda evokes Forever21? (I should know; I bought some "jewels" there yesterday.)


The Bandage:


Sophia Bush. Almost made a 'Touch of Gray' joke, but I couldn't actually think of one.


Jordana Brewster. Gray.


Hilary Duff. Puce-Green.


Kherington Payne. Tangerine.


Melissa Sagemiller. Zebra.


What Say You?
Amanda Righetti's got something pretty going on, but also something matchy and peculiar: verdict?

[Images via Getty]

[Wilmington, North Carolina; April 16. Image via INF]

• Lindsay Lohan a liar? In the latest issue of Nylon, LL says she's hoping to work with Seth Rogen but "Seth won't call us back." Rogen says:

"That's not true — I never got a call from anyone that works for her." [The Star]

• More Lindsay Lohan drama: A source says she "is spending like crazy" and is living on credit right now. And most of the cash she spends? It's Samantha's. [Gatecrasher]
• Sad face! Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond Jr. broke up. [NY Mag]
• Has Madonna dumped Jesus Luz? [Just Jared]
• This report says Jesus recently said: "Madonna has an amazing body, is a sexy, kind person and a great mother. The difference in our ages means nothing. She looks like a 30-year-old and has a youthful personality to go with it. I love her and nothing else matters." Which sounds like they are not broken up. [PopDirt]
• By the by, Madonna's nanny gave notice, then her Madgesty told her to leave, immediately. [Daily Mail]
• This paper claims that Guy Ritchie has a black eye, but the photographic evidence is sketchy. [The Sun]
• Jade Goody, dental assistant turned reality-TV star, died Sunday at the age of 27. [AP, NY Times]
• The Jade Goody farewell will be planned by her family. [Mirror]
• Jade Goody leaves behind £4 million for her sons. [Telegraph]
• Amy Winehouse's label isn't thrilled with her new music; they were expecting her "trademark vintage soul" sound and she is now "heavily influenced by reggae," naturally. [The Sun]
• "Bruce Willis Ties Knot With Underwear Model" means he married a woman who has posed for Victoria's Secret. The ceremony took place at Parrot Bay in the Turks & Caicos. [Breitbart, Yahoo via AP]
• Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher and Rumer, Scout and Tallulah attended the wedding. [Star]
• Yes, Ashton Kutcher Twittered a picture of Demi Moore's ass — taken while she was steaming his suit (maybe for the wedding?) Yes, she knew about it. No, I don't know why people are so interested. Like they have never seen a woman bending over before. [Defamer]
• Michael Jackson wants to adopt a kid. No comment. [Gatecrasher]
• Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart are engaged; he decided to put a ring on it. [NY Post, Daily Mail]
• Katie Holmes "played babysitter" for Cruz and Romeo Beckham, taking them — and Suri — out around L.A. over the weekend. [Daily Mail]
• A wake was held for Natasha Richardson on Saturday in Manhattan. [Star]
• Natasha Richardson's funeral was held late Sunday afternoon in upstate New York. [E!, USA Today]
• Another picture from the forthcoming Where The Wild Things Are flick can be found here. Guess what? The kid who plays Max is named Max. [USA Today]
• Winnie Cooper is married, you guys. Danica McKellar got hitched in La Jolla, CA this weekend. [ET]
• Here's everything you want to know about Annie Leibovitz's money troubles — which may have nothing to do with same-sex marriage after all. [Page Six]
• Whoa: Katy Perry is dating Josh Groban? I kissed a (singer who makes people want to) hurl! [Perez]
• Honestly, it is sort of shocking that Knowing topped the box office, with $6 million more than I Love You, Man, since there were no early reviews and Nicolas Cage did zero publicity and Paul Rudd worked overtime. But Knowing is PG-13 and ILYM is rated R, so maybe families went to see Cage? [Breitbart]
• Like House? Like spoilers? This link pretty much tells you who is going to die. [NY Mag]
• Remember that Jennifer Aniston movie, The Baster? This casting call is looking for a "heavy set woman" and a "woman with a round face, small eyes, and upturned nose" to have profanities shouted at them in a scene. Fun? [TMZ]
• Johnny Depp topped a list of stars people would most like to share a candlelit dinner with. [The Star]
• Prince Harry will have lunch with the soldier he called a racial slur. [Telegraph]
• Are you ready for this image-shattering picture of 18-year-old Emma Roberts in the new GQ — in which she is wearing a tanktop and no bra? [Just Jared]
• Hilary Duff is back on TV: First she landed a guest spot on Ghost Whisperer; now she's gonna be on Law & Order: SVU. [E!]
• Speaking of L&O, Mariska Hargitay is headed back to work after a three-week absence. [People]
• Justin Guarini says American Idol sorta sucks: "Every single year, we cannot stand the group performances. I know they can't stand it either. And I think what makes [the group performances] even worse now is that they're lip-synced. They're really prerecorded now." [E!]
• Metallica went on stage at South By Southwest, telling the audience they were a "young band from Norway." Are they still in therapy? [USA Today]
• Kanye West closed SXSW, saying "It feels so good to rock for you tonight." [AP]
• We heard Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green broke up; then we heard they were back together, now we're hearing that she has moved out and is staying in a hotel. Ah, l'amour. [E!]
• Congrats to Natasha Bedingfield, who got hitched in Malibu on Saturday. [E!]
• After the success of that video which is an internet hit, Ricky Gervais and Elmo are working on a show together! [The Sun]
• Flavor Flav turned 50 over the weekend?!?!?! [Hollywood Rag]
• John Mellencamp blogged about the record business for HuffPo. [Huffington Post]
• Jamie Lee Curtis blogged about the "Recession Diet." [HuffPo]
• M.I.A. will play Coachella on April 18. [NY Times]
• "John Cleese halves payout for ex-wife to £650,000 in first celebrity credit crunch divorce." [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which closeted TV icon enjoys "watersports" in his bedroom? His steady stream of gentleman callers are a little grossed out by it." [Gatecrasher]
• "I love writing for Dwight because he has one of the richest back stories of any of the characters. He is a farmer who is part Amish, who has war criminal relatives and who was involved in a secret love triangle — and has a nine-bedroom, possibly haunted hotel-farm. He has such a colorful past, and Rainn [Wilson] is such a gifted actor that it's like a great treasure map writing for his character… I think the Kelly character is fun to play because she's not a role model for anybody. Although I do sometimes believe my parents wish I played a cardiologist at Johns Hopkins." — Mindy Kaling, of The Office. [Washington Post]
• "To say that they like this movie would be like the crazy understatement of the world, 'cause they are crazy about it. They carry the characters around; they play in the morning with their action figures, so this is a really great experience to make a film for my kids that they love. There's not that many movies that have female superheroes in them so this was a great opportunity to not only be telling a great story of female empowerment but also create this awesome character." — Reese Witherspoon, on Monsters Vs. Aliens. [The Sun]
• "I'd probably have head-butted her new boyfriend, put her over my shoulder and run off." — Pete Doherty, on what he'd have done if he'd seen Kate Moss at his record label. [The Sun]
• "A few people have gone overboard. We have people come in to spray them. But there's a little Oompa-Loompa going on this season. It's not for me. I'm holding to the middle-age pasty-white-guy look." — Tom Bergeron, on the orange-ness on the contestants on Dancing With The Stars. [E!]
• "I love doing photo shoots. I mean, if I could just sign with IMG and do ad campaigns and model more, I'd do that… because that's fun for me. That's not work." — Lindsay Lohan, to Nylon. [Page Six]
• "A size zero? I've never heard of that. That didn't exist when I was growing up. When did that start? What does it mean?" — Heidi Klum. [Socialite Life]

[Las Vegas, February 28. Image via Getty.]