Why Do Women's Magazines Lie About Such Stupid Shit?

Moe — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 14:00:00 EDT

So remember way back yesterday, when we shared the harrowing story of Laura Wells, whose employers subjected her to the demeaning experience of getting her "natural russet hair" dyed BLONDE simply because it looked better on TV? Well, a reader who purports to have attended college with Laura Wells in the nineties gave some insight as to why her bosses might have thought this: in the nineties "naturally russet" Laura was a natural blonde!

It was an unnatural red hue all over, with skunky blonde stripes in the front, obviously and purposely fake. Truly, the hair to the front of her earline was blonde, and the rest was red. I can't imagine highlights, then, would be traumatic for her. However, we were English majors, so I can imagine she enjoyed writing* about the experience as if it were.

Which we would totally just save to the folder marked "scurrilous/entertaining gossip" if it didn't arrive just before another email from a former Cosmo Girl! insider calling into question the veracity of yesterday's silicone-doning teenage boys that spoke to a point we're always scratching our heads about: Why do women's magazines always lie about the dumbest shit?

I just wanted to comment on the CosmoGirl post. Half of those quotes are made up. I used to intern there and one of my main duties was finding bullshit quotes like that. I always used my boyfriend and his small group of friends. I ask them the question and transcribe it word for word. I'd change their age to anywhere from 19 to 22. He's 27 and his friends are all between 27 and 30. If they asked for a location like "New York, NY" I'd change it to "Boise, ID."

The editors knew what I was doing. I think one of the suggested it. And when they called my boyfriend for fact checking - yes, they actually fact check this nonsense - they would acknowledge that it's fake. Then my boss would "tweak" his answers to make them more BS than they already are and voila!

Also, if you mention this on the site can you please not use my name. I honestly liked the editors there. They were just doing a job. I've never held it against them because I'm sure every other mag does the same exact thing.

And yeah, every other mag does do the same thing. But why? Here's a handy trick for gauging the opinions of people in slightly different demographic groups and friend circles on a topic at hand: use the internet! And if the topic at hand is too pointless and warmed-over to even bother trolling Myspace, maybe find a new one! Which brings me to my last point, and this is kinda directed at Vogue: most of your readers will experience bigger traumas in their lifetimes than those related to their beauty regimens. Maybe write about those for a change?

*She did not actually write the piece.

Elle Investigates The Tyranny Of Paula Zahn Highlights

Moe — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 15:20:14 EDT

Elle runs an "investigation" of the television media in its November issue that reveals something that will surprise maybe that class of people who ever looked up "gullible" in the dictionary: female news anchors are often pressured to dye their hair. Specifically: blonde. The story opens with the traumatic dye job of fledgling anchorwoman Laura Wells, a trip to the colorist that turns out to be something of a rite-of-passage in television news!

I feel like I"m having low-level plastic surgery," Wells says, mournfully twisting a strand of her naturally deep-russet mane.

Oh good grief, I thought. Maybe if not every woman in the world with hair a shade lighter than Penelope Cruz's did not seem to feel compelled to cough up a few grand a year so as to make her hair look rigorously "sun-kissed" or whatever, I would be shocked by this. But no, for years my own mother has pleaded with me to get them — she'll totally pay! — for no public reason other than the very occasional appearance at church.

WHICH made me think, what is it with highlights? Is it the white women's way of competing with Tyra's weave? Or maybe of approaching greater understanding of the true pain in the ass that is the endless struggle to achieve the Aryan beauty ideal? Or do they actually look good? (I mean, when Becky Quick first dyed her hair I thought it looked awful and now I kind of think it's hot.) So confused!

Jezebel: highlights for adults

Why Do Women's Magazines Lie About Such Stupid Shit?

Elle Investigates The Tyranny Of Paula Zahn Highlights