• Cyndi Lauper and Lady Gaga's M.A.C. Viva Glam ad is out. Gaga looks...surprisingly normal. [FWD]

• Helena Christensen protested in Copenhagen this weekend. In quieter times, she reads the dictionary to expand her English vocabulary. And she's one of those people about text messages: "I get obsessed with spelling. I make every text message I send correct in punctuation," explains the Danish supermodel. "I am super-fastidious about certain things." [Daily Express]
• Phil Knight is standing by Tiger Woods. The scandal-plagued golfer's endorsement deal with Nike is worth a reported $30 million annually; Knight admitted doing a background check on Woods before signing him. "He came out clean," the company founder said. [Reuters]
• It has been confirmed that André Leon Talley is a new judge for the whole next cycle of America's Next Top Model. Kimora Lee Simmons is only a guest judge. It's puzzling that Vogue would want to touch anything in Tyra Banks' smizing empire with a bargepole, but it'll be great to see André's judicial robes on nighttime television. (Also: I would leave New Zealand only for Tyra et al. to set off there. They are shooting the CoverGirl challenge today in Half Moon Bay, apparently.) [TVNZ]
• Christian Lacroix has designed new uniforms for 20,000 French railway employees. They are grey and purple. Few more of these gigs and he'll have his couture business back in no time. [WWD]
• "I've struggled with it! I've struggled with that. I've struggled with that," says Tom Ford, on the luxury culture of insatiable accretion, and charging $75 for socks."Just because one is spiritual doesn't mean one doesn't like crocodile, cashmere. We live in a material world." [TDB]
• To produce its fashion show, Victoria's Secret allegedly filled half a city block with noisy generators that ran 24 hours a day for over a week. This disturbed the sleep of nearby residents, including those at a home for people with HIV. Michael Musto's anonymous source claims that the company, which coincidentally finally broadcast its show on World AIDS Day, had to offer the residents a cash settlement. [Village Voice]
• Serena Williams returns to the Home Shopping Network to sell her line of clothing today. Last time the tennis star did the HSN rounds, her goods sold out in under three hours. How? "Everything in the collection is under $100," Williams explains. "And everything you get from me [is] great quality. I think for those prices and [this] quality, it is a no-brainer." Do you hear that? A no-brainer. It's not buying her clothes that really defies explanation. [People]
• The family that owns Salvatore Ferragamo bought a decrepit estate with a vineyard in Tuscany in 1993. The restoration process now complete, Ferragamo is now introducing four wines into the U.S. market, ranging in price from $15-$80 per bottle. They do not carry the family name trademark, because that would be so vulgar. [BW]
• Project Runway alumnus Rami Kashou has been dressing Queen Rania of Jordan. His spring collection is partly inspired by Frank Gehry. [LATimes]
• Knitwear designer Carmen Colle's lawsuit against Chanel has been thrown out by a Paris court. Colle's company, World Tricot, which designs new knitting and crochet patterns for various designer clients to incorporate into their runway looks, sued Chanel in 2004 when she spied a Chanel coat made from what she alleged was a World Tricot crochet pattern that Chanel had rejected, and never paid for. But it wasn't all bad news for Colle. World Tricot also sued for breach of contract, after Chanel abruptly stopped patronizing the house. Chanel countersued for besmirching its good name by bringing the suit at all. The court found World Tricot was owed €400,000 for the breach of contract, and it also found that Chanel was owed €200,000 for "commercial prejudice." World Tricot may appeal the forgery ruling. [WSJ]
• Jason Wu was asked if he was for or against brunch. "Pro, but only if it's after 1:30," the designer responded. Who the hell is against brunch? [TFI]
• Christopher Kane clarifies his earlier statements about not liking fashion blogs because designers have little to no control over what they publish. Now he says blogs can be fine, so long as they're not "critical" or "negative": "You're allowed to say what you want but sometimes the blogs that you read are really negative and that's what I meant to say really. Sometimes it's too negative for my liking and I think maybe they could give someone a compliment or say something nice. But bloggers nowadays seem to be a bit negative...but when it gets to someone's work and they're being critical, it's like ‘Give them a break'." [Grazia]
• Unilever has suspended its relationship with a palm oil supplier after Greenpeace alleged that the supplier was not harvesting its oil sustainably. Palm oil is a key ingredient in many cosmetics, but deforestation and environmental destruction can result when farmers slash and burn forests to plant palms. [WWD]

• Yoko Ono turned up to the Tokyo launch of Comme des Garçons' Beatles-inspired line. [WWD]
• Christian Lacroix may not have a confirmed buyer for his bankrupt fashion line, but he will design a tower in Dubai. [AB]

• 14-year-old style blogger wunderkind Tavi Gevinson is in Tokyo this week for Comme des Garçons' holiday party. In between expressing her admiration for her idol, Rei Kawakubo, Tavi will do photo shoots with Japanese magazines. [WWD]
• EBay has started doing pop-up designer sales, like Gilt Groupe. It also has a holiday store in Manhattan, selling Norma Kamali's line for the site. [NItrolicious]
• Now that Celine has creative director Phoebe Philo, it wants to open 10 new stores conceptualized by her. Meanwhile, it is closing several of its existing stores. [UK Vogue]
• Philo's debut line for the brand has been so popular with retailers the company has gained new accounts across the U.S. [WWD]
• Forever 21 is getting into the beauty business. This month, its full 145-piece line of cosmetics will hit stores. The products look appropriately glittery. [WWD]
• The ladies at Nylon saw the gorgeous sequined socks on Miu Miu's runway, balked at the $450 cost, and made their own for about $20. Speaking as one who still wears her handknit holey Rodarte fall '08-inspired tights, I approve this DIY message. [Nylon]
• Tom Ford not only financed the $7 million cost of A Single Man himself, and wrote into the script elements of various episodes from his own life, he went so far as to fill the characters' homes with his own furniture. He even painted the paintings on their walls himself. [IndieWire]
• SATC stylist and designer Pat Field and Kim Cattrall did an ad for Bailey's. It features Cattrall wearing a red dress with a bow on it, since Bailey's is being sold in holiday-promo bottles with red bows this year, and everyone involved seems to think they are totally making fashion history, as opposed to doing some rather literal-minded if inoffensive shilling. "This dress is one of the most daring garments I've ever worn," enthuses Cattrall. [SB]
• Christian Louboutin, the shoe designer who once said "comfort is not part of my creative process," maintains he learned the value of comfortable shoes when he left school at 15 to intern at the Folies Bergère, and the dancers sent him out for veal carpaccio, which they used to line their shoes. Now he uses "technical secrets" to make his shoes "easy to walk in." But his biggest enemy in life is the ankle, because, as he puts it, "You can do a design, and it looks good on paper — then when you put it on it makes your legs look fat." We would point out that a design that only looks good on paper isn't really a great design. [Independent]
• Alber Elbaz received an honor with the rather long name the Grande Médaille de Vermeil de la Ville de Paris from mayor Bertrand Delanoë on Friday. When asked what he loved most about the city, the Lanvin designer said, "There's so many things. It's a dream city and it's a city of dreamers...I will be original, and I will say Parisians!" [WWD]
• Look at what Tyra has wrought: 1,500 girls lined up on Saturday in New York, and another 1,000 in Los Angeles, to try to be chosen as America's representative to the Ford agency's Supermodel of the World competition. [UPI]
• Alessandra Ambrosio's "diary" of the week before the Victoria's Secret fashion show is mostly a tale of her yearning for free time to work out, and skipping meals. Don't worry, she has a cheeseburger after it's over! [People]
• "When I was a kid, I remember telling my mom I was going to be the first woman president, an actor, then a veterinarian on the weekends," says Brooklyn Decker, the Sports Illustrated and Victoria's Secret model. "I somehow decided to be an uneducated model instead." [NYTimes]
• Helena Christensen says she dreams of "situations inspired by the work of artists such as Egon Schiele and Carl Larsson, Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House on the Prairie book series, and the intricate yet utterly simple compositions in nature." And her dream house would be the late Edward Gorey's place on Cape Cod. Ours too. [Independent]
• This year's Pirelli calendar, shot by Terry Richardson, features no retouching. "A great photographer captures the moment — that's why I shoot without extra equipment and without assistants," claims Richardson, oddly, because he does in fact have assistants. (Perhaps they weren't used for this job?) [WWD]
• François-Henri Pinault, owner of Pinault Printemps Redoute, is looking to spin off several of his company's largest, cheapest chains, like FNAC and the mail-order empire La Redoute, in order to free up capital to invest in mid-market brands that would have both higher margins, and would sit better in a stable that includes Stella McCartney and Gucci. What this means in practice is that PPR might buy Abercrombie & Fitch. [Telegraph]

• Daul Kim's boyfriend was the first to find the body of the 20-year-old Korean model, artist, and writer, who died by asphyxiation. Police believe Kim's death was a suicide. Her agency has confirmed that her mother is en route to Paris. [AP]

• Don't want to wait until December 1 to watch the whole Victoria's Secret show? USAToday has video highlights, including Marisa Miller anxiously awaiting post-show cupcakes backstage, and Miranda Kerr doing a little dance on the runway to the Black Eyed Peas. [USAToday]
• Women's Wear Daily says it was "pandemonium" outside. [WWD]
• Eva Mendes has signed on to do more ads for Calvin Klein. When was the last time she was in a movie, anyway? [Elle UK]
• Valentino: The Last Emperor has been short-listed for the Academy Award for Best Documentary. [SB]
• Karl Lagerfeld, on Lily Allen: "I love Lily's humor, her cheekiness, her talent, her little upturned nose, and her perfect décolletage." [Elle]
• Rumor has it that Ungaro's two top executives, Asim Abdullah and Mounir Moufarrige (who once said of bringing Lindsay Lohan aboard, "It might work") are fighting over whether the actress should be fired or not. Her first collection for the brand was poorly received by buyers, the press, and the peanut gallery of the Internet; even Emanuel Ungaro himself called it a "disaster." [Elle UK]
• Claudia, Eva, and Helena share the new cover of i-D, like it's 1992 or something. [FWD]
• Shanna Moakler just launched a cosmetics collection. Called Smoak. [People]
• Moncler and Pharrell Williams are doing a line of clothing. It'll incorporate fabrics from Bionic, the eco-fabric company Williams invested in earlier. [WWD]
• Yves Saint Laurent's pots and pans sold for 15,000 Euros (just over $22,000) at the ongoing auction of the designer's household effects. [AFP]
• Sarah Ferguson will not be doing an apparel line with QVC. Pity. [WWD]
• Hand model Christina Ambers fell in love with Angel Rotger, one of the doormen at her Upper East Side building. Their romance and subsequent marriage cost Rotger his job, and led to them both being treated as pariahs by the other building staff, the two now allege in a $10 million lawsuit. Allegedly, the superintendent's wife got drunk and hit Rotger in the groin hard enough to cause a contusion. [NYDN]
• Here's an odd choice of knight in shining armor: supermarket magnate and modelizer Ron Burkle. Burkle has, through his company, invested millions of dollars in buying some of Barneys New York's debt from Citibank, for a reported 60 cents on the dollar. Barneys took on around $500 million in debt in 2007, when it was sold to current owners Istithmar. [WSJ]
• 100 new stores by March 31 is quite a clip, but Tommy Hilfiger thinks it can do it. [WWD]
• Gap's profits rose 25%, to $307 million, for the quarter ended October 31. It made $246 million during the same period last year. [WSJ]

• Victoria Beckham's team always denies the best rumors. Blake Lively, apparently, will not be the face of her next campaign for the dress line. [UK Vogue]
• Helena Christensen's photographs of climate change in Peru are being exhibited in London. [BBC]

• The sheikh who had such grand plans for Christian Lacroix when he bid for the company has failed to file key financing guarantees with the bankruptcy judge on time. This jeopardizes the sale of Lacroix, since all the other would-be bidders for the troubled company have dropped out. The sheikh, or anyone else interested in buying the brand, has until December 1 to prove they have the financial wherewithal and the business plans to relaunch the brand. [WWD]
• Lauren Conrad is authoring a book on style. Most astoundingly, it'll feature "new and never seen before photos" of the "style icon" — we assumed between the camera crews and the tabloids, her every style move was amply documented. [People]
• Francisco Costa of Calvin Klein dressed Penelope Cruz for the New York premiere of Pedro Almodovar's new movie, Broken Embraces. Says Costa, "I wasn't in the last fitting, and I got pictures of her in the clothes at the hotel room. And they looked like movie stills. She was just wearing the clothes in the hotel room, but it almost felt like Helmut Newton pictures, there was so much of her in the photos." [People]
• Rachel Zoe is hiring. She wants an L.A.-based ad sales exec to "evangelize The Zoe Report as being a leader in the fashion publication/newsletter space." Must have "an entrepreneurial attitude - overcome any obstacle, creative, willing to be an evangelist for a new product." Is she starting a business or founding a cult? [Fashionista]
• Leighton Meester, on the cover of UK Glamour this month, has some fashion advice for Blair Waldorf. We hate when actors do that; can you imagine Leonard Nimoy telling Spock to, you know, loosen up a little? Why must actors constantly remind us that they are acting? It's so meta. Anyway, she'd like her to put her hairbands on differently. Meester also says, "I actually think I'm prettier without makeup." Which puts her in the solid majority of women. [People]
• J.C. Penney is going to stop printing such big catalogs, because most people shop online now. [NBC]
• Russell Athletic closed a factory in Honduras when its 1,200 workers voted to unionize in 2008. Now, because of pressure from college anti-sweatshop groups that persuaded universities to drop Russell products, the company has announced that the employees will be rehired. The new Honduras factory where they will work will be unionized, and Russell has agreed not to fight unionization at its seven other plants in the country. [NYTimes]
• Model Karlie Kloss played ping pong against pro Wally Green. And won. The girl is unstoppable. [Style.com]
• After hearing that Gemma Ward planned to return to modeling in the new year, FrostFrench — Sadie Frost and Jemima French's London-based label — has announced it would like her to be the face of their next campaign. Right now, before she (presumably) gets down to her fighting weight again. This is like when a boy asks you out in front of the whole school, only FrostFrench is doing it in front of the whole Internet, and it smacks of a publicity stunt. Just, no. [Fashionista]
• Chanel Iman suggested to the Victoria's Secret stylist that they bedazzle her name on the back of the t-shirt she wears in one look for the show. [InStyle]
• Former Abercrombie & Fitch model Brad Greiner confirmed that the company recompenses its models pretty terribly: although Bruce Weber's images of Greiner were splashed all over national billboards, in-store displays, and even shopping bags, he made only $500 a day. The shoot lasted two days. That's not quite American Apparel-bad, but it's close. With runway work already pro bono, lookbook bookings suddenly a status symbol, and editorial work also unpaid, will campaigns be next to tell models it's worth it for the 'exposure'? Abercrombie has underpaid its campaign models for years, but other successful fashion companies might, in these straitened times, try applying its business model. [StyleSectionLA]
• An Australian fashion editor who bought a pair of Versace sandals and then had the heel quickly break off of one is pissed because when she sent the shoes to Milan for repair, they were returned with instructions for her to deal with the Australian Versace stores. There are no longer any Australian Versace stores, because the company closed them. [News.com.au]
• The U.S. Polo Association is suing Polo Ralph Lauren for allegedly blocking its efforts to license its trademarks for a line of fragrances. [WWD]
• Burberry is looking to open 21 stores in India through a partnership deal with a local company. Indians spent about £2 billion on luxury goods last year. [ToL]

• A rare, left-handed Michael Jackson glove — the one the star wore when he unveiled his moonwalk at Motown's 25th anniversary in 1983 — is to be auctioned in November at the Hard Rock Café in Times Square. [CTV]

• Pictures of the +J women's collection are starting to trickle out. Isabeli Fontana stars in the campaign, and my god are we excited for Jil Sander's return to form. Not least because the godmother of minimalism is re-materializing after her long absence at Uniqlo's sensible price point; the full range will cost between $21 and $155. [WWD]
• Diane Kruger, on Karl Lagerfeld: "Karl is like a dad. I've known him since I was 16 – I would do a lot for Karl. I was once on his plane flying to China. He wouldn't stop talking. After a while, I said to him, ‘I have to sleep now Karl.' When I woke up 10 hours later he was still talking to some poor assistant!" [SassyBella]
• Designer Tory Burch and Marchesa co-founder Georgina Chapman are both making cameos on Gossip Girl's next season. [WWD]
• Mad Men's Alison Brie, on the wardrobe: "You wear girdles and tight clothes you can't really breathe in that make you sit up straight. That alone is kind of oppressive and really makes you feel how these women were feeling at the time." [TVGuide]
• From the horse's mouth: Kanye West isn't interning at the Gap. Quoth designer Patrick Robinson, on the occasion of the launch of the Gap's new 1969 Premium Jeans Collection, "He's a friend of mine, and he just likes to see what we do. I tell him, if he wants people to take him seriously in fashion, they have to see blood first! They have to see the blood and the sweat, to see that he really wants it — but he definitely has the capability." [FWD]
• Harlem resident Sessilee Lopez cooks to unwind. "I just made a pepper steak, rice and beans for Wendell the other night. I grew up watching my grandmother cook and she can make anything taste good. So I try to apply what she does. I'm also getting into baking, but I think that might be dangerous for my career." On role models: "Definitely Tyra [Banks]; I would love to benchmark myself after her. She went from being a pretty face to a mogul. It would be great to follow in her footsteps." [W]
• Justin Timberlake's Givenchy perfume ad has a behind-the-scenes video — the behind-the-scenes video now being de rigueur — so you can double up on your Justin pleasure. [People]
• Oscar de la Renta, on not dressing women with double-digit dress sizes: "Well, you cannot be a jack-of-all-trades. You must do what you do best." [VF]
• Robert Geller has a men's capsule collection with Levi's that hits stores next month. [WWD]
• The body of a man was found on the roof of Opening Ceremony, the downtown Manhattan boutique. Signs indicate the death may have been accidental, and the man a vagrant, but police investigated the scene for seven hours yesterday. [Gawker]
• London police have made one arrest in connection with the Graff jewelry heist that netted $65 million worth of jewels last week. A 50-year-old man, who is not believed to have been one of the two robbers who held up the store, was arrested and bailed. [WWD]
• Jewelry designers Arielle de Pinto and Pamela Love are each doing standalone presentations at New York Fashion Week this September, and Bliss Lau — whose original necklace was shamelessly re-cast and copied by Erin Wasson for the supermodel's jewelry line — Philip Crangi, and Eddie Borg are all working on collaborations with unnamed designers for September. [Style.com]
• Anna Wintour has confirmed she will be attending London Fashion Week in September. Although Wintour normally skips the London shows, this year, a special effort by British designers to show on their home turf has resulted in a glut of bold-faced names on the schedule — Burberry, Christopher Kane, Jonathan Saunders, Gareth Pugh, Matthew Williamson — that Wintour simply can't ignore. [Grazia]
• Helena Christensen is naked and gorgeous on the cover of Citizen K. [Sun]
• Ralph Lauren is being sued over shirts he made that say "Lifeguard" on them. The Lifeguard Licensing Corp. says it registered that trademark in 1937. [NYPost]
• Artist Hugh Hayden: "I do dinner parties. The most famous one, in college, was called "Smooth." I wanted people to focus on the taste of food but make everything else a constant. We puréed all the food, had the guests wear all white and arranged them in chairs, facing the wall, around the perimeter of the room. We tied their hands behind their back and fed them through this device, which looked like a snorkel with a funnel attached. So you focus on the taste of what you're eating." Label Hayden-Harnett hired this guy to give their NoLiTa boutique a sporty temporary makeover, and to work with them on the Spring 2010 presentation next month. We're kind of scared, because that dinner party sounds like it would have a long and troubling afterlife in one's subconscious. [W]
• One thing we actually do not want to wear or even see is a "sneaker/boat shoe hybrid," but thanks anyway, Lacoste. [WWD]
• JC Penney's has a line called Twelfth of Eleven that comprises mainly t-shirts, and they won't reveal who designs it. Racked.com thinks it might be Rachel Roy, who designs a line of similar t-shirts (at higher prices) for Macy's. [Racked]
• Wal-Mart's second-quarter results were positive; the world's biggest retailer's profits rose 1.4%, to $3.45 billion. Urban Outfitters' income declined by 14%, to $49 million, but sales rose 1%. [WWD]
• Kohl's second-quarter profit fell just 3%, to $229 million, and sales actually rose slightly, by 2%. [AP]
• Same-store sales at Macy's this quarter fell by 9.5%, but the retailer clung to profitability by cutting costs, and turned in a better-than-expected result of a $7 million profit. [Reuters]

• Helena Christensen is one of the many hailing British Vogue's Alexandra Shulman. "Obviously I am of the same belief," said the supermodel photographer. "Aren't we in a business that is supposed to explore all kinds of shapes and silhouettes?" [WWD]

• H&M is famous for its sought-after designer collaborations. Matthew Williamson's of this summer being just the latest in a long, mostly successful, line. But the Swedish fast-fashion giant has never brought a high-profile shoe maker on board — until now. Behold: Jimmy Choo for H&M. Jimmy Choo accessories collections for women and men will be in 200 stores November 14. [Reuters]
• Designer Malcolm Harris, of the label Mal Sirrah, hung up on Angelina Jolie when she rang to inquire about one of his dresses. Twice. Harris thought it was a prank; Jolie still bought three of them for $225 apiece. [P6]
• So how did designer Zac Posen get ready for the CFDAs? "I was on Perez Hilton all day." [The Cut]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy are getting hitched, and, no surprises here, Danes is choosing her favorite designer (and CFDA date) Narciso Rodriguez to make her wedding dress. The actress says the process is "intimate" and often makes her "weepy." [People]
• Rodriguez even whipped out a needle and thread to repair the train of Danes' dress at the CFDAs after a fellow guest stepped on it and it ripped. [NYDN]
• Kanye West went on a $5,000 spending spree at a Chicago store called Deliciously Vintage. With no lady in sight while he shopped, speculation is rife as to who'll get the haul. Amber Rose? Kanye himself in the privacy of his own multi-million dollar home? Rife, we say. [TMZ]
• Vera Wang was unwilling to confirm that she would be on the next season of Dancing With The Stars at the CFDAs. "They approach a lot of people, not just me," said the designer. As for going on the show, "We haven't decided. They haven't and I haven't." [The Cut]
• Esteban Cortazar, the young Colombian designer who has helmed the troubled house of Ungaro since 2007, says he is still at the company. Despite rumors of an acrimonious split, and a lawsuit on the part of Cortazar, at the CFDAs he told journalists "I am still there," but admitted, "We are trying to work things out. We have had some differences but hopefully things will work out for the best, whether I am there or not." [WWD]
• Agyness Deyn, says an anonymous friend, is considering quitting modelling and moving back to London to pursue roles in British indie films. [Mirror]
• Karl Lagerfeld made his transition into film — assuming we're not counting the excellent doc Lagerfeld Confidential — by providing the voice for an animated kid's movie villain. The designer apparently worked hard through take and re-take, bringing his famous perfectionism to bear on the character of a bitter ex-model who kidnaps people in order to "fabulous" them, or turn them into his own image. "He was very serious about it and very open to criticism," said his spokesperson. [WWD]
• Super-stylist Nicola Formichetti: "I hate the whole idea of celebrity in America. It's so boring — all fake smiles and big business. It seems like you can sell crap if you put a famous name on it. America's crazy, you know?" [The Cut]
• Eddie Van Halen's held a copyright on the famous red, black and white striped pattern of his Frankenstein guitar since 2001. So how did it end up adorning the soles of a bunch of Nikes? The rocker's lawyers sure wanna find out. [WWD]
• Sales are so bad at the Gap that the company might use a different advertising agency for its holiday campaign, after a seven-year unbroken streak with the same house. [AdAge]
• Also agency shopping: Zappos. [BrandWeek]
• Check out the new Isabel Toledo exhibit at the Museum at FIT on video. Ms. Toledo and her husband are on hand to talk about their history in fashion, and that dress that Michelle Obama wore that one time on the Mall. [The Cut]
• Aeropostale, one of the mall chains whose business isn't hanging by a thread during the recession, plans to launch P.S., a new line for 7-12-year-olds. [WWD]
• MTV VJ Alexa Chung once said of her retirement, "Modelling gave me a distorted body image. As soon as I stopped, I realised how ridiculous it all was. I went on about it because I was really fed up with modelling –- it's like I was saying negative things to reinforce in my mind that I had to get out. I never say or think those things now. I've used up all that neurosis –- there's none left. It's just really boring. I'd rather have a bigger brain than smaller bones." Apparently, Chung still models — when the project suits her. She's turned up in the look book for quirky L.A. label Wren. [Fashionista]
• A worker at London's Oxford St. Topshop flagship has a confirmed case of the H1N1 swine flu virus. The store reportedly sees over 200,000 visitors a week. Topshop has no plans to close it. [Racked]
• Giorgio Armani is set to unveil his latest scent, Idole d'Armani, next month. Polish actress Kasia Smutniak will be the face of the brand. [Reuters]
• Calvin Klein designers Italo Zucchelli and Francisco Costa defend their racy billboard against the pearl-clutchers of SoHo. (Or something.) Said Costa, "There was no intention of making that controversial. Just make beautiful ads. And they're beautiful ads. And I think, you know, we're such a forward society, but we tend to be a little prudish sometimes. It's New York City! It's the 21st century! Honey, we have to move on!" Zucchelli called the ad "In the best tradition of Calvin Klein," and said, "It's my favorite campaign ever! ...Everyone needs to be scandalized and screaming. That is what we want." [The Cut]
• The economy goes one way, shoplifting statistics go another. [WWD]
• Sophia Kokosalaki is moving to helm Diesel's Black Gold line. [WWD]
• After the hash-up of a bankruptcy auction, eventual owners of the Filene's Basement chain, Syms and Vornado Realty, say they want to proceed with their purchase as quickly as possible. [WWD]

• Oh, yikes. According to Stephanie Pratt her brand new sister-in-law, Heidi Montag wants "four boys, four Spencer Pratts!" Creepy flesh colored beard enthusiasts across the country are no doubt celebrating this slightly terrifying news. [USWeekly]

• Despite negative reviews, Wolverine topped the box office with 34 million dollars on Friday. [E!]
• Actress Missi Pyle recently wed naturalist Casey Anderson, and the best man was Brutus, an 800 pound Grizzly bear that Anderson has raised from birth. Wonder where they got the tux rental? [DailyExpress]
• "I'm quite honestly getting seriously fed up with being falsely connected with several men on Page Six: Josh Hartnett, Heath Ledger, and now it is insinuated (we all know what 'befriended' means on these pages!) that Sean Penn is another. There has never been any intimacy between myself and any of these men, and I want this cleared once and for all."-Helena Christensen [PageSix]
• Mine That Bird a 50-1 shot, emerged victorious at the Kentucky Derby yesterday. [NBCSports]
• Christina Applegate has been selected as People's Most Beautiful Person of 2009. [ONTD]
• "I'm definitely not paying attention to my pregnancy. That won't be true for the child [when it arrives]. But now, when you have two kids running around you're not the pregnant person you were before." -Elisabeth Hasselbeck [People]
• Comedian Robert Schimmel has been arrested on suspicion of beating his wife. [NYTimes]
• Nicole Richie has blogged about the girl group she was in when she was 13 or so. "Our name? get ready… CAUTION!," she writes, "And I even remember part of our rap. I'm getting chills of embarrassment even typing this. The rap lyrics I remember were: Caution! Walking down the street.You better watch out, and step to the beatPlaying our music from town to town Rockin' and Rollin' were [sic] gonna get down!"[JustJared]
• "It was a town of hair metal and we hated it. Girls were supposed to be sexy whores in white pants - they weren't allowed to rock. We played in bars and ignored what people said. After all, we knew that the people who thought they were badass didn't rock at all!"-Kim Deal [Guardian]
• Hugh Jackman is desperate to bring a Carousel film to the screen, and hopes to get Anne Hathaway to join him. "I've been looking to do a musical film for some time and after things like Moulin Rouge!, Chicago and Hairspray, I think there's a real opportunity there," Jackman says, "I've been filling up [Hathaway's] answering machine with messages about Carousel." [DailyExpress]
• Halle Berry, who has apparently forgotten the mess that was Catwoman, says she'd be interested in an X-Men spinoff featuring her character, Storm. "I think that would be great," Berry says, "Storm deserves her own movie - if I can still fit into the suit."[JustJared]
• "I'm in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) now, too. I've had drinks, but it has been a levelling-out process. Am I an alcoholic? I may not be. I don't know. But I also know that, in the situation I'm in, with temptations what they are, I have no room for alcohol in my life."- Shia LeBeouf, keepin' it anonymous. [DailyExpress]
• Madonna and Demi Moore have reportedly bonded over the fact that they both have "younger lovers." "Demi has been really supportive of Madonna in her relationship with Jesus," says a source, "She knows more than anyone how great it is to date a younger guy and hopes they can make it last." [DailyMail]
• Meanwhile, the biological father of Mercy James, the Malawian girl that Madonna is trying to adopt, says that he wants to raise Mercy in her own culture. "I want to take care of her, and I'm capable of taking care of my baby. Mercy, she is a Malawian, so [I] need her to grow as a Malawian ... with our culture." [People]
• Rihanna is moving on, and has rekindled a teenage romance with Negus Sealy, much to the delight of her loved ones. "The family are delighted about her seeing Negus again," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]
• Dennis Rodman's wife attempted to stage an intervention, but Rodman wasn't interested. "He wouldn't go because he doesn't want to miss the taping of the 'Celebrity Apprentice' reunion," says a source. Rodman's rep replied: "Yes, they tried an intervention but, unfortunately, Dennis refused to go. We all know how amazing he is when sober, and we hope he gets there soon." [PageSix]
• Sting's daughter, Coco Sumner is currently in the intensive care unit after falling outside of a restaurant and fracturing her skull. "‘Coco went flying and landed with a real crash. She really took a tumble.One of the waiters helped her to her feet but she complained that she didn't feel well," says a source, "She hadn't had anything to drink and it happened quite early into the evening." [DailyMail]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince are on the rocks again, after Kate discovered that Jamie had "struck up a friendship" with another woman while on tour. [DailyMail]
• Are Victoria and David Beckham getting ready to leave the States for Milan? "Victoria is going off LA and was embarrassed that her designs didn't take off there," says a source, "They did well in the UK and she accepts that Europe is a better market for her." [DailyMail]
• "I would also be just as happy with a new women. I'm not complicated, I sing about love in all its shapes, forms and colors. I speak my mind, I sing about everyday stuff such as homosexuality and sadly the homophobia that always comes with it.Famous female singers tend to moan and whine a lot about being famous. Damn, I'm Pink and my bank account hasn't seen a red zero for a long time, and I can do what I love best-sing. Isn't that something that makes life better?"-Pink [ShowbizSpy]

[Milan, April 1. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

The Good:
Hey, when she's good, she's very, very good.


Helena Christensen looks gorgeously dramatic; we're sure Valentino approves.


If Agyness did "20's Bohemian" all the time, we'd be on board.


Olivia Chantecaille avoided a St. Patty's Day pinch, looks gorgeous. Everyone else was pinched black and blue.


Yes. Padma Lakshmi wears a smock and sandals and still looks like Helen of Troy.


Am kicking myself for not going to the theatre, sneaking out with Hana Soukupova's gown while she was watching the movie.


Anne Hathaway's looking really chic and comfy these days; will an Oscar nod do that?


For some reason, Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy as couple always give me a happy feeling. Not least cause they always look ravishing.


The Bad:
I'm just imagining Lake Bell going through her closet and thinking "yes! it's a futuristic figure skater kind of evening!"


See, I could actually totally get behind the harem pants if Rachel Roy hadn't taken us back to '85 with the power jacket. I know that's the point, but...bad associations.


Hm, is the chain part of Maria Menounos' dress, or just an unfortunate accessory choice? Either way...


Martha is in on a hose violation.


When I saw this one, I actually sang to myself, "Someone's going in Ba-ad/And it's whoever you are!" (It's Nicole Trunfio.)


The Ugly:
As in the grand tradition of "Ugly," Daphne Guinness's exercise in outrageousness is, in its way, a triumph. In a terrifying, 80s Intellectual Fash sort of way. The dame's not a Mitford for nothing!


Selita Ebanks: the woman's got chutzpah. No mirror and an angry cat, perhaps, but chutzpah.

[Images via Getty]

• Helena Christensen told InStyle magazine that she's never lived with a man — although she was actually married for five years. [Daily Mail]

• Bill Clinton made a surprise appearance at the Tribeca Ball, an event that benefits the New York Academy of Art. A fashion crowd including designer Jason Wu mingled with performers like Liev Schreiber and Justin Timberlake, hotel impresario Andre Balazs, and socialites. The event was filled with student art; Timberlake and Schreiber reportedly took a lot of interest in an exhibit that included two live models whose bodies guests were invited to paint and decorate with eggshells. At the end of the night, Bill Clinton's security detail was also overheard muttering, "That man is a chick magnet." [WWD]
• Speaking of politico-sartorial news, Sarah Brown, wife of the British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, met with Michelle Obama for more than an hour during her husband's state visit. Brown's gift to the First Lady was kid's clothes from TopShop for Sasha and Malia; like Michelle Obama, Sarah Brown sometimes likes to mix inexpensive chain-store items in with her wardrobe. I know, right! [Telegraph]
• Arena, the British men's magazine, is another casualty of the recession. The April, 2009, issue will be its last. Arena Homme Plus, the twice-yearly fashion magazine spinoff, is supposedly not affected, and nor are the six international editions, all of which are published under license. [WWD]
• Tracy Feith for Target doesn't get into stores until May 17, but lookbook images have already surfaced. The clothes are — not great. (There's a romper with bloomer shorts.) But one of the models is Allie from The City, if that makes any difference to you. [Racked]
• That other, slightly better, Target designer collection — Alexander McQueen's McQ line — is now available online. [Racked]
• Badgley Mischka's spring campaign, shot by Annie Leibovitz, features Anjelica Huston, Brooke Shields, Lauren Hutton, Eva Longoria...and Carrie Underwood. [WWD]
• I really hope that Agent Provocateur, the lingerie label, won't be hurt by all this press about their "racy" and "saucy" new ad campaign. I mean, what if The Sun were to determine it "crosses" the line"? I imagine that'd be just terrible. [The Sun]
• An ad for Olay's Regenerist wrinkle cream has been banned in England for being "offensive and demeaning to women" — because the makers, Proctor and Gamble, lied about the results of a study of the cream's effectiveness, and implied that cosmetic injections were an inevitable step in as any woman aged. [Telegraph]
• In Milan, Roberto Cavalli showed an 80s-heavy collection that was so small the LA Times wondered if all his samples had arrived. Could the cash bleed of his diffusion line, Just Cavalli — whose licensee, Ittierre, went bankrupt, and then sued Cavalli this week for angry statements the designer had made to the media about his losses — be affecting his main line? [LA Times]
• Scarlett Johansson, face of Dolce & Gabbana cosmetics, was the inspiration for the makeup at Dolce & Gabbana. Pat McGrath recreated "modern Hollywood glamor" with false lashes, liquid eyeliner, and red lips, not that anyone's ever done that before. [WWD]
• The booker of Auguste Abeliunaite, the Lithuanian 16-year-old who cried on the Jil Sander runway, says Abeliunaite won't be going to Paris, despite walking four top shows in Milan, because she's too young. But Paris sets — and actually does a good job enforcing — 16 as the minimum age for runway work. (Milan has no age limit.) And a girl who'd walked any show cast by Russell Marsh, let alone Prada, would be sent to Paris yesterday if she were really 16. My guess is this pale-eyed schoolgirl has a passport that makes her out to be 15 or younger. [WSJ]
• There's good news and bad news on the retail front this morning. First, let's do bad: The Body Shop is cutting 275 jobs. [WWD]
• And Kenneth Cole's fourth quarter loss has increased, to $12 million. [WWD]
• Liz Claiborne's fourth quarter net loss also widened — to $828.9 million. The company also declined to provide an earnings forecast for 2009. [WSJ]
• Adidas, meanwhile, increased its fourth quarter profits by 151%, or to a net of $74 million. [WWD]
• And all the designers are cutting costs — by rooming together at the Ritz for the Paris shows. Alexander Wang, Brian Reyes, and Victoria Bartlett are reportedly sharing digs, which sounds like the most awesome sleepover, ever. [The Cut]
• There's an unusual juxtaposition of stories in WWD's brief items this morning: first up is Simon Doonan, who was asked about the fashion industry's troubles at an AIDS benefit auction he co-hosted with Tim Gunn, which is all standard fare. But then next is a paragraph about an ultrarunner who spent five years running across six continents, all of which was filmed by his wife for a documentary, and in so doing raised $400,000 for an Alaska-based charity. The fashion content of the latter story is unclear; the reporter, in being dragged so far from his realm of expertise, also seems to have gotten a little confused. Something about the sentence, "His wife was held with a knife to her throat for more than an hour at the Morocco-Gibraltar border," strikes one as off. Perhaps because there is no "Morocco-Gibraltar border" — only some 7.7 nautical miles of sea. [WWD]
• Paris Hilton's perfume will exist for another five years. Sigh. [WWD]

The fact that SJP is on the cover is actually quite apropos; this photo shoot may make you actually miss Sex And The City. Or at least Samantha.

"Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?"

"Yes, and I shouldn't have to try this hard. I am a leggy Danish supermodel, after all."

"After your tennis lesson, I want you to come straight home without showering, you understand? And what's with the jeans? You know you're supposed to wear those tiny shorts I bought you."

"We have to hurry and do this before my husband gets home. But is there any chance you can call your boyf — I mean, roommate — Chace, and get him over here?"

Raise your hand if you find this very, very, hot.

File under: Women To Go Lezebel For.

Tough to see here, but there's a cherry in his mouth and a stem in hers. If you're old like me you'll recall that episode of Twin Peaks that changed the way you thought about cherry stems. If you're not, ask somebody.

The benefits of having a boytoy: You get final say in wardrobe approval. And hot sex.

Unlike the movie, this story has a happy ending: Mrs. Robinson and her young beau live happily ever after, or at least until dawn.

The Good:
It took some thunkin', but after much reflection, Ginnifer Goodwin's enormous cravat verges on the rad.


Helena Christensen (obviously) looks effortless.


Maggie Rizer can pull off a side-slit with, literally, her eyes half-closed.


Digging Zoe Kravitz's vaguely ridiculous riff on her dad's style.


Speaking of celeb spawn! Eva Amurri's definitely still finding her feet, red carpet-wise, but she looks really pretty here.


The Bad:
Olivia Palermo says: the best way to accessorize leather pants? A fur shrug!


Liking the idea of America in a suit, but this jacket's fit just doesn't look right.


Melora Hardin, magpie-style, apparently feels if one metallic is good, ten million's better!


Rachel Roy is apparently in Victorian deep mourning for her usual impeccable taste!


The Ugly:
Irina Pantaeva: Flower Child, ur doin it rong.

class="small">[Images via Getty]

• Two days after the fact, Vogue's Anna Wintour has come up with two paragraphs on Michelle Obama's inaugural style. She approves. [Vogue.com]

• British model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley stars in an online video for Agent Provocateur where, after receiving the excuses of her oblivious boyfriend on February 14, she goes to the office where he's working late, ties him to his desk chair, and performs a lap dance in her lingerie. Then she punches him in the nose and says, "This'll teach you to forget Valentine's Day." But the Times of London thinks it's too sexy, or something. While it is possibly NSFW, it's shot in a light-hearted, cheery style that achieves the opposite of a sexy mood. [Times of London]
• What is sexy is this video shot by Inez van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin for YSL menswear. It features the actor Michael Pitt — Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Last Days — shot in extreme close-up while an unseen French woman talks about his clothes. It sounds weird, but watching his expression while she says things like "You breathe my transparency" and "I want to lick this animal skin that falls, well-cut, from your rounded shoulder" before describing the drape of a silk crepe lining and, of course, the body beneath, is hot. This one is SFW because all you see is his face. [Dazed Digital]
• Louis Vuitton's menswear show in Paris was inspired by "the traveling wardrobe of an African king" and featured a closer look at some of the sneakers Kanye West has designed for the brand, which are to hit stores this summer. Mr. West sat in the front row and said he was "proud" of his handiwork. (Then he shouted, "Fuck this, I'm better than Marc Jacobs! My shoes cost a million dollars. Pamela Anderson is gonna wear 'em. To jump across canyons and shit. If I don't become creative director, LVMH loses credibility. Nothin' against you, MJ, but hell, man. Please, press people, print, 'Kanye says Fuck that.'") [Guardian]
• Taking a leaf out of Rad Hourani's book of gender, Chloe Sevigny is showing a unisex line at menswear week in Paris. [FabSugar]
• The maker of Aretha Franklin's impressive inauguration day hat, Detroit milliner Luke Song, is going to produce a line of 12 similar hats. They will be various colors and have differently sized bows, and cost $150-$250. Song estimates that nearly 1,000 people have ordered the $179 hat that Franklin's was based on. "I’d be very stupid not to take this opportunity," Song said. "It's like a huge gift." [WSJ]
• Jason Wu, inaugural gown designer extraordinaire, is focused on his upcoming New York show. "I'm doing a significant fur collection, and the message will be all about luxury," says Wu. What? The last thing this kid needs is PETA on his case and a collection of $4,000 coats to sell. [Fashion Week Daily]
• People has another image from Scarlett Johanson's campaign for Dolce & Gabbana makeup. She looks like she's blowing on a candle. However, I like the sound of the goods, which are to be scented with rose: “We wanted to create makeup with a scent," said Gabbana. "Domenico and I remember when we were children and opened our mother’s handbags — the scent of her lipstick trailed out. I observed that when women open makeup, they smell it first.” I like his observance. [People]
• When you become first lady, everyone wants a piece of you. Up to and including the Smithsonian, which is ever-so-politely requesting Michelle Obama give them her clothes from inauguration day. [WSJ]
• The NY Post's Tempo Espresso blog — "We speak Spanish so you don't have to" — has an interview with Isabel Toledo. She says, "For me color and beauty really are in the eye of the beholder — and color should never be a barrier because it's all about tone. The color in question I call lemongrass for its freshness. It has been called sunflower, gold, mustard, sunshine, and some describe it as sparkly but in fact its wool lace. But I love the way the its open to interpretation and the fact that the color defies being named." [NY Post]
• Kristin Davis is the new face of a skincare company that includes salts and minerals from the Dead Sea as ingredients. And she would like very much to tell you how special it is that they are paraben- and sulfate-free and "all natural." Is this venture related to those attractive Israelis who are always trying to sell Dead Sea mud in jars at the mall? [WWD]
• Helena Christensen is going to shoot Façonnable's first runway show, and their next campaign. [WWD]
• Jones Apparel Group is projecting a fourth-quarter loss and $840 million in write-downs. Costs are being cut across the board in the face of flagging retail spending; the quarterly dividend will sink 64% to 5c a share. [WSJ]
• The Oscar nominees are in. Now begins the speculation on what the actresses will wear. Rachel Zoe has a finger in this pie, too. [WWD]
• Possibly the best reaction, bank account permitting, to losing financial backing for one's label is to breezily announce a year-long vacation. Holly Dunlap, founder of Hollywould, writes on her website: "In 2009 you may find us surfing off the beaches of Brazil, skiing in the mountains of Switzerland, sailing near the shores of Italy, and sunning on the sands of Palm Beach, and wherever we are, we’ll be thinking of you." [WWD]

• Scarlett Johanson is the new face of D&G cosmetics. A face that looks mightily like Marilyn Monroe. [Popcrunch]

• In other news from the infinite space that is the overlap of the "celebrity" and "fashion" Venn diagram, Penelope and Monica Cruz's fourth collection for Mango is out, and they star in the campaign. Looking hot as per usual. [Thelifefiles]
• Portia de Rossi — who "tries to wear leather as little as possible" — is going to do a vegan shoe line, although it's not known which brand she will collaborate with. Let's hope it goes over a little better than Natalie Portman for Te Casan. [FabSugar]
• Oh, consider my heart warmed. Fashion people took a break from menswear week to watch David Beckham's AC Milan game on Saturday evening. The gaggle of designers and editors watched from a private box — of course — but were refreshingly not too cool to cheer "Beckham! Beckham! Amore! Amore!" [WWD]
• Sunday night in Milan, Miuccia Prada addressed the recession just prior to her menswear show. The political science Ph.D. said: "I’m really pleased that we’ve always worked much more on the product than on the brand and I think this pays back. Crisis always pushes you to do better." [WWD]
• In a video, The Street rates Victoria's Secret, and fellow Limited Brand company Bath & Body Works, a stock not to invest in. December sales didn't hit the mark, and analysts are cutting their return estimates for the chain. "When I don't have a lot of money, I like to go and make a small purchase to cheer me up," says one presenter. "But when that small purchase is a bra for $50, a lot of women aren't doing that anymore," replies the other. I will say I rejoiced at the savings when I finally stopped wearing bras altogether. [The Street]
• Roberto Cavalli has admitted the rumors are true: he is in talks to sell a 15-20% stake in his company to a private equity group. [WWD]
• For his part, John Varvatos has no cause for concern — yet. His same-store sales are up across the board, led by footwear (that lucrative deal with Converse must keep his spirits up) and diffusion line Star USA, which is up almost 40%. He's showing in Milan for the first time since 2003, and intends to make the move permanent. [Portfolio]
• Sephora is experimenting with a pilot program that allows shoppers to access reviews of products via their mobile phones. [AdAge]
• In more news of the unstoppable 90s supes, Helena Christensen — Nylon co-founder, photographer, and all-round sexy-ass Dane — is to be the "ambassador" for a limited-edition Tommy Hilfiger bag, to benefit breast cancer. It's unclear what her ambassadorial duties will entail. [Hindustan Times]
• Guess who else is back: Romeo Gigli. Despite having lost the rights to his own name, the designer will show his new label, Ipse Idem, at Paris menswear week. [IHT]
• A British model named David Gandy — that's this guy, possibly NSFW, thank me in the comments — is going to start writing for a yet-to-be-named politics and fashion magazine. He'll be sticking to covering style and "motoring" while political contributors will include London mayor Boris Johnson. [WWD]
• Are Dov Charney and his PR team spending hours online posting to newsgroups, buying Google Ads, and sock-puppeting domain names to smear the L.A. lawyer involved in most of the company's current lawsuits? Unauthenticated company e-mails point to yes. And the top search result for Kieth Fink, the J.D. in question, is now a site called "The Keith Fink Files: Keith Fink: The Worst Lawyer in Los Angeles," which points to definitely. [NY Post]
• When Harvey Weinstein gives Marchesa co-founder Georgina Chapman the gift she picks out, she has the good sense to "act surprised." Oh, love. [Telegraph]

• Word is, Mrs. Ryan Reynolds née maybe-alien Scarlett Johansson will be fronting Dolce and Gabbana's latest campaign. For what? Um, no one knows. [Style.com]

• Carolina Herrera: "There's no need to be ashamed of trying to keep looking good. I even tell my doorman when I've been to have a little filler injected." Not that he asked. [Independent]
• Oh dear. Is the head of L'Oreal being manipulated by a gigolo? Her daughter says yes. But then, we've heard that before... [Independent]
• Designer Gai Mattiolo is not really feeling his house arrest for fraud. Says one friend, "creative geniuses are often naive about business." Besides the genius part, us too! [UPI]
• Helena Christensen: “I’m not really into exercising, to be quite honest, but I realize that you have to do something to stay in shape, so I box. I’ve boxed for almost two and a half years.” If you take out the boxing part, us too! [NY Mag]
• Zac Posen: do not tease us with these promises of "lower priced collections" if you cannot deliver! [Fashion Week Daily]
• Speaking of fast fashion, H&M took a November hit. [WSJ]
• And. Fast fashion has meant a drop in the quality of thrift shop clothes. [Times of London]
• Coco Rocha unveils mannequin of herself; it doesn't look that much like her when she stands right next to it. [ElleUK]
• Women's Professional Soccer's teamed up with Puma. [WSJ]
• D&G, for their part, are outfitting the Giro d'Italia bike race. [VogueUk>]
• Daisy Lowe to be in annoying-sounding DKNY ad with Sean Lennon and Kelly Osborne's boyfriend, shot by The Sartorialist. [ElleUK]
• Speaking of slash/slash types! The Sisters Miller (Sienna and Savannah) will be showing their first Twenty8Twelve fashion show come Feb! [Grazia]
• YSL paper dolls. As close as many of us will come! Also: more fun. [Fashionista]
• Speaking of YSL! The company's making a generous donation to the United Nations Development Fund for Women. [WWD]

• Wanna see Posh's designs, complete with lampshades and elephant-trunk headpieces? Check out the new commercial for her fashion line. [Fashionista]
• "The video sees various models taking inspiration from Posh’s own ads for Marc Jacobs last season by hiding themselves all over a large mansion – behind drawers, in carrier bags, hanging behind doors, turning themselves into lamp shades and transforming themselves into an elephant." [Sassybella]
• Says Posh: “Being in the Spice Girls, fashion-wise probably didn't open any doors. If anything it shut doors and I've had to bang them down.” [Times Online]
• A New York bridal shop is knocking off the Vivienne Westwood wedding gown in which Carrie Bradshaw was jilted. [New York Post]

• Notify jeans classifies butts into three categories. [Guanabee]
• Apparently Katie Holmes is surrounded by a whole gaggle of other moddles for her ballyhooed Miu Miu campaign. [New York]
• Uniqlo beats the odds, is up 32%. [WWD]
• This, we like: Kate Moss is teaming up with Liberty to use their classic floral prints in her next Top Shop collection. [WWD]
• "Liberty are already working with Topshop on a lingerie collaboration, which launched in stores yesterday, though exactly how Moss will use the London store's iconic prints is still under wraps." [ElleUK]
• Michelle Obama's Vogue cover's not a sure thing. Neither, apparently is Anna Wintour's job! [New York]
• Meanwhile, Michelle continues to boost young designers: the latest beneficiary is Jason Wu. [WSJ]
• Oh noes! J. Crew and Bloomies knocked out on a prime shopping day by website malfunctions. [Crains]
• So why is the entire payroll of NBC in this batch of holiday Gap ads? [Jossip]
• Luxury luggage gets extra-ridiculous to woo reluctant jet-setters. [IHT]
• Zara's founder is funding alternative energy solutions in Spain. [Business Week]
• Pre-fall collection peeks for Versace, DKNY, Alexander Wang, Armani, Missoni! [WWD]
• Supermodel Miranda Kerr has been replaced as the face of Australia's oldest department store. [AdAge]
• The “2009 Shop with a Conscience Consumer Guide" is a cheat-sheet to apparel made under ethical conditions. [WWD]
• Helena Christensen's line for Pilgrim jewelry is "typically, ethnically-inspired and feminine, in both delicate orchid-pastels and strong, spicy colours, priced between £10 and £100." [Telegraph]
• Victoria's Secret tries to go higher-end with a new flagship, "a level of elegance that casts the flirty and frilly lingerie and romantic beauty products in a softer, luxurious light." [WWD]

• After Palin names Escada as her fave brand, the creative director is gracious: "If she does wear Escada because she likes it, I mean, I’m honored actually. It’s not politics; it’s clothing, after all. No? She’s an attractive woman, so why not?" [New York Mag]
• Fashion's totally in the tank for Obama — but we knew that. [WWD]
• Halloween update: Blake Lively was Cleopatra, Martha Stewart was Medusa. [Sassybella]
• Andre Leon Talley: "Fashion may not be the most important thing in life, but it definitely helps you get through it," [Philadelphia Inquirer]

• Adidas launching high-end SLVR line. It'll include sportswear, accessories and shoes — but no activewear. [WWD]
• Stella McCartney introduces kid-friendly windows. "Using just colouring pencils, Gary Card will create over-layered drawings of animals, dinosaurs, superheros and fantasy inspired characters on children's wardrobes in his typically naive and charming signature style." Just what you want to see on your six-year-old's Christmas list! [VogueUK]
• SJP's new "Twilight" perfume: just a coinci-dink that it jibes with the teen vampire flick? Synergy! [Fashionista]
• Georgia May Jagger's "style" includes derby hats, shiny leggings. [ElleUK]
• Prada's costume jewelry is gorgeous, as expensive as real jewelry. [Fabsugar]
• Goodwill tries to change its image for the recession; but why? [NY Times]
• Not shockingly, Anand Jon's defense lawyer says he's innocent. [Breitbart]
• Suits make the man. [Forbes]
• Timberland moves into video blogging to woo young men, who allegedly like that sort of thing. [Business Week]
• The first YSL retrospective is kicking off in San Francisco and sounds amazing: "The clothes, displayed in a gallery with low lighting and the feel of a giant walk-in closet, are stunningly beautiful: A 1988 Van Gogh "Irises" jacket embroidered with 40 pounds of sequins and beads. A 1997 garden party of a gown with a thicket of pink and green organza flowers, leaves, semiprecious stones and satin ribbons. A 1990 coat flocked with flame-colored rooster, pheasant and vulture feathers. The black wool dress with satin collar and cuffs worn by Catherine Deneuve in the 1967 film "Belle de Jour."" [LA Times]
• Supermoddle Jacquetta Wheeler comes from a huge Tory clan! [Daily Mail]
• These descriptions of the Australia costumes are totally overcoming our initial resolve not to see it: "Ms. Martin did extensive research for the costumes. She studied archival images and newspapers from 1930s and ’40s Australia and interviewed descendants of the original ranchers around Darwin. 'Whether an indigenous stockman'— or drover — 'wore socks with his boots when he rode a horse, that’s something you either get through a snapshot,' Ms. Martin said, 'or something you have to go talk to the people who lived there about.'" [NY Times]
• The new Chanel Unlimited bags, in a "glossy gray canvas material," sound grotesque. Opines Fashionista: These are totally Karl's answer to Prada's nylon bags. But worse, because they're plastered in not just one, but many logos." [Fashionista]
• Yeah it's barely past Halloween, but if you have "questions" about Holiday attire, The Washington Post will help you out. [Washington Post]
• Rosetta Getty expands her line, beloved of her celeb friends. Nice work if you can get it! [WWD]
• Is it just us, or are these new Helena Christensen ads for Agent Provocateur really unsexy? (Oh yeah, prolly NSFW.) [Daily Mail]
• Rochas names Marco Zanini creative director; he'll show his first collection for the the fall/winter 2009 season. [WWD]
• Princess Di's threads go under the hammer for charity. [VogueUK]

• Fran Drescher is speaking out in order to encourage her fellow California residents to vote no on Proposition 8, stating: "This proposition is not about gay marriage; it's about hate, discrimination and intolerance of diversity. It is wholesale, unadulterated hate-mongering and it MUST be snuffed out in a dramatic fashion at once to illustrate to those behind it that in America we embrace the neighbor who might be different from us and are proud of it!" [HuffingtonPost]

• Bangarang, Rufio: Agent Provacateur has just released their new ad campaign, featuring model Helena Christiansen as a sexed-up "Pirate Queen." [Telegraph]

• Shanna Moakler tells People that her ex-husband, Travis Barker, "had a feeling that something was about to happen," before he boarded the plane that crashed, killing six of his fellow passengers and leaving Barker with third-degree burns on the lower half of his body. [People]

• Uh-oh! Apparently the photos Brad Pitt took of Angelina Jolie breast feeding for W Magazine have "upset Brad's parents." [Star]

• Simon Cowell and his girlfriend of six years, Terri Seymour, have officially split. Seymour apparently dumped Cowell by phone, which is almost as harsh as Simon Cowell has been to 8 million Idol wannabes over the past 5 years. [People]

• Criss Angel has nothing but love for Hugh Hefner's ex, Holly Madison. Angel had high praise for the Girl Next Door, who accompanied the wacky magician to the opening of his new Cirque du Soleil show in Vegas last Friday. "This is one of the most special evenings for me in my life," Angel said, "and I can not think of a more beautiful person, a more special person, inside and out, than Holly to spend it with." [People]

• Another day, another endorsement: this time, Tyra Banks has declared her support for Barack Obama. So congratulations, Senator! You're still in the running to becoming America's Next Top Elected Official! [E Online]

• Sad news: Pulitzer-prize winning author Studs Terkel has died at the age of 96. [NY Times]

• More sad news: John Daly, the Academy Award-winning producer of "Platoon," has died at the age of 71. [NYTimes]

• Ricky Gervais is apparently a big fan of symphonies, claiming that "nothing quite moves me like classical music." Not even "Freelove Freeway?"[Mirror]

• One Day At A Time star Mackenzie Phillips, who has struggled with drug addiction in the past, pled guilty to cocaine possession on Friday and has been ordered to attend a drug rehab program. [Reuters]

• The new James Bond film, Quantum of Solace, has broken the one-day British box office record with opening day sales reaching approximately eight million dollars. The previous record holder? Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. [Reuters]

• Jessica Simpson had to take her best friend and hair stylist Ken Paves to the hospital yesterday after a member of the paparazzi accidentally hit Paves in the eye with a camera. [TMZ]

• Cher's doctors are urging her to take a break from performing until at least January, due to "asthma-related bronchitis." [Daily Express]

• Jada Pinkett Smith has swapped gym workouts for yoga. "Right now I just do yoga maybe three times a week," Pinkett says, "As I've gotten older the gym's just not good on my joints anymore. I do a lot of activities outside. I do a lot of hiking, I love to run a little bit, I'm surfing now... I've got to keep up with my kids." [Daily Express]

• Are Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty over? "Friends" are reporting that Getty's refusal to divorce his wife of 8 years may have something to do with it. You think? [Daily Mail]

Us
This cover, showing a beaming Michelle and Barack Obama emblazoned with the words "Why Barack Loves Her," is perhaps part of the subtle image makeover we referred to earlier. Us seems very concerned with portraying the clearly awesome Michelle as a non-threatening soccer mom, and more importantly, differentiating her from Hillary. Says a friend: "[Michelle] is not the least bit interested in being a co-president or participating in policy decisions…Her first priority as a first lady would be that the girls are OK, and to continue to be the outstanding mother that she is." We always go straight to Us for astute political coverage. In other news, Hollywood wags think Katherine Heigl's career will be fine despite her ankling the Emmys. Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee are back together for the umpteenth time. They're like Bobby and Whitney but with exponentially more body modification. Finally, here's some news for all the hipsters out there: supermodel Helena Christensen has been "cozying up" to Interpol lead singer Paul Banks for over six months!
Grade: C (a timeshare in Cleveland)
In Touch
Rut roh! Angelina and Brad's CRISIS AT HOME in huge pink letters! They have a lot of babies, it's exhausting, it's possibly pulling them apart, and so on, and so forth. The only good part of this four page spread is the sidebar where Dr. Drew gives Angelina the business about her whole Mother Theresa routine. "I've never seen anyone remit heroin completely," Dr. Drew said. "Is she in recovery? If she's in recovery, I don't seen any evidence of it, because people in recovery invest themselves in simple, selfless acts of service, not global self-serving acts." Burn!!! On to matters of life and death: Did Mariah Carey have plastic surgery? Survey says: Probs. Her yo-yo dieting is well known and after her most recent weight loss, she has mysterious, Tara Reid-reminiscent ripples on her tummy. The liposuction of Mimi! Bret Michaels bonded with Sherri Shepherd when he went on The View because they both have diabeetus, but he wants to do it with Elisabeth Hasselbeck. "Barbara Walters was pretty hot," Bret admitted, "but Elisabeth Hasslebeck and me, I'm just telling her, if her husband ever falls out of the picture…" Scariest tabloid news of the week: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt spent $10,000 on guns because Spencer wants to be "prepared for anything." Can't wait for the Branch Davidianish FBI raid on the Speidi compound…
Grade: C+ (an unheated shack on the coast of Maine)
Star
More Brangelina business. Angie has panic attacks due to the stress of her pregnancy and Shiloh's terrible twos. Apparently she's worried about how she's going to handle "two more needy little ones in an already chaotic household." Uh, probably with the army of nannies she already employs. Miley Cyrus reportedly gets thousands of love letters from prisoners, "who claim they've taped her picture up in their cells." Creepy to the max!! Was Matthew McConaughey macking on strange ladies during a recent trip to Nicaragua while his super-pregs girlfriend Camilla Alves languished at home? If the photos are any indication (see Fig. A below), the answer is yes. An amused onlooker tells Star, "He grabbed the DJ's microphone, crawled onto a table and screamed 'I lost my flip-flops!' in broken Spanish!" Britney and Jamie Lynn are none too pleased about mom Lynne's forthcoming memoir, Through The Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World, which includes such revelations as Britney bit her nails as a kid. Shocking! And lastly, Jen wants boyfriend of thirty seconds John Mayer to marry her, but he's not down. Hmm, sounds dubious.
Grade: D+ (a metal trailer in Death Valley)
Ok!
Jeebus. Even more Angelina news. This time she's not stressed. In fact, she's so into all her babies, Ok! says, she's looking to adopt another boy. She'll get the lucky young tyke from the same Ethiopian orphanage where she found wee Zahara. Ange wants to "balance the races" in her household and since Maddox has Pax, now it's "Z's turn." Speaking of babies, Britney will charter a jet to Kentwood, Louisiana, the second lil' sis Jamie goes into labor. There are rumblings that Prince William and on-again, off-again flame Kate Middleton will be married next summer. Why did Anne Hathaway stay with scuzzy Raffaello Follieri for so long? Because he's a baaaad boy, of course. "[Women] believe that if we are wonderful enough, beautiful enough or sexy enough, we will cure them of their bad ways, and make ourselves all the more beautiful," Dr. Jenn Berman tells Ok!. Ugh. In other douche-dating news, David Spade says "girls date me because I'm normal." Good to know.
Grade: D- (a motel room on Three Mile Island)


Life & Style
Just when you thought she was getting better, L&S dredges up some old dirt: Britney tried to off herself twice, says a new book. Ian Halperin, an investigative journalist who is writing a bio of Brit tells L&S, "I can't divulge too much, but I will say the suicide attempts are true. I know all the details of both of them>" The book is also about how "sleazy and destructive" her handlers were, and how Britney is obsessed with Marilyn Monroe's tragic fate. The formerly self-destructive Nicole Richie is "back to her old ways" and is losing weight. She and Joel madden are fighting a lot and she's stressed out by baby Harlow. Unlike Nicole Richie, another Nicole (Kidman) is trying to gain weight. She thinks her baby bump is too small and wishes it were bigger. She also wishes that her jugs were bigger. Are Mariah and Nick already on the rocks? "I give the marriage six months, tops," says an insider.
Grade: D- (a teepee in Chernobyl)
Fig. A:

The Bad:
The feathers! The gloves! Serena would not approve, Blake Lively.
Yes, the dress is nice enough. But I just can't take seeing Beyonce in one more "Beyonce" dress. Does the girl know no other silhouettes?!
Why must you hurt your boobies and toes, Eva Amurri???
Too much and not in a good way, Longoria.
Apologies to Eva Mendes but I just hate that color.
I think Gisele looks a little more trashy than classy.
Could Ivanka Trump wear anything more boring? Make an effort, lady.
I want to love Jennifer Connolly's dress. But I can't.
Ack! Leaping diagonal tiers, Jennifer Lopez!
Kristin Davis is all washed out.
Liv Tyler is wearing a lurex garbage bag toga.
Why does Mary J. Blige look sorta rumpled?
I love classic black dresses, but Sarah Michelle Gellar is wearing the wrong look for this occasion.
Sarah Silverman looks like a cracked-out Amy Winehouse. Oh. Wait. Nevermind.
Thandie Newton would look great if only she ditched the duster.
Dylan Lauren is rocking the Del Boca Vista aesthetic.
Something about this dress makes Julia Roberts look matronly.
I don't know who Alice Braga is, but her dress is a little mother-of-the-bride.
Too much pink, Lara Spencer.
Piper Perabo? Or a lost little alien?
Tamara Mellon looks a little Vegas, if ya know what I mean.
I don't want to see Donna Karan's side-boob ever again.
Is Helena Christensen wearing some suburban teen's prom dress?
Good effort, Kate Bosworth, but... no.

[Images via Getty.]