Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton, per usual, bring the Gothic deshabille.


Designer Nanette Lepore knows that if there's one crowd that won't blink at vaguely tribal girly armor, it's this one.


Michelle Harper is a fixture on the social scene and, yes, she always looks this fabulously deco-glam.


Aww, it's Danny DeVito and daughter Gracie!


Jeez louise, is Gabourey Sidibe batting 1000, or what? Nary a misstep, folks! Nary a one!


Brooke Shields can do simple elegance. She was a Calvin girl, after all.


Say what you will about Anna Wintour, say what you will about fur...man, those hems are aligned with a military precision!


Is Ashley Greene's LBD breaking any hearts? No, but I can't take my eyes off her face, so it all works out.


You know what I love most about this pic of MK and Ashley? That they're both carrying briefcases, in case they might need to have an impromptu meeting. Moguls, people.


It's true that Rose Byrne is a special favorite, but come on: this is cool. Would I wear it? Could I wear it? No and no. That's why stars: are nothing like us.


Somehow in the context of this event it would seem strange if Johnny Depp hadn't shown up with Patti Smith as his date, and if they hadn't looked exactly like this. Yes, quizzing glass, hankie and all.


We'd say Helena Bonham Carter had been in one too many Tim Burton movies, but she was always an eccentric, and she's ended up in exactly the right place and, at the end of the day, it's pretty wonderful.


Hamish Bowles (Vogue's European Editor at Large) is one of this town's most reliable and natty dandies.


David and Julia Koch do "artistic socialite." Okay, not him so much.

[Images via Getty]

[London, September 22. Image via Flynet]

[Los Angeles, August 24. Image via x17]

[London, July 9. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Jeez Louise, Emma Watson looks stunning. A tad low? Nah, I guess she's a grown-up young lady now. With a Chanel contract, less. She really doesn't need to listen to anyone!


Dan Radcliffe always looks darling, but what's with the foppish frog closure? In combo with the primrose linens, this is certifiably dandified!


Jenni Falconer is a Scottish TV presenter. Who is wearing a very charming, sunny little frock and belt.


Speaking of...people who play characters whose names kind of sound like "Jenni"...it's Bonnie Wright! Do I love her dress? Not so much. But I think I would have at 18!


Does it ever seem like Helena Bonham-Carter is just on a quest to top herself, sartorially speaking? Like, "how can I up the eccentric ante today?" As such, she's kind of above criticism.


Dame Maggie Smith's date is not identified, which as I've mentioned I find very offensive indeed, especially when it's obviously a family member, and this should be applauded rather than deemed unimportant. And they match!


Jamelia's generally pretty stunning, and this is no exception, but I actually think this would be more flattering with an open neckline. Not that anyone asked. And I think I have a thing about that because my mom always impressed upon me the importance of an open neck to offset various vague "figure flaws," so actually forget what I just said.


Daisy Lowe is really taking advantage of the "I'm a cool young model and I'll wear what I want and you shall see it and call it cool" thing that Kate and Agyness have been doing for years. Power of cool, or emperor's new jacket?


As Rupert Grint demonstrates, a vaguely mod suit - skinny legs and all - is always apropos for the young actor on the town. (Are those his underpants?)


Um. What say you about Jo Whiley's dress? I kind of...well, I kind of love it!


[Images via Getty]

[London, June 30. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[London, June 24. Image via WENN]

[London, May 18. Image via Getty]

[London, May 15. Image via INF]

[Pembrokeshire, Wales; May 11. Image via INF]

[London, April 30. Image via WENN.]

[London, April 22. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• In case you hadn't noticed, a new Lindsay Lohan feeding frenzy has begun.

Does the woman have problems? Probably. Sure. This headline, however — "Lindsay Meltdown! Chugging Vodka After Breakup With Sam" — is just sensationalist. She was seen drinking, and crying, but her mom was there, sipping wine. So. [RadarOnline]

• More on this in Midweek Madness but: On this week's Us: Lindsay Lohan. Suicidal. [Perez]
• And Lindsay says she's in "absolute hell." [Us Magazine]
• Samantha Ronson is not, repeat not seeking a restraining order against Lindsay Lohan, and she and LL "are totally communicating." [People]
• Madonna has donated about half a million bucks to Italian earthquake victims; her grandparents lived in Pacentro, Italy, until 1919. [People]
• Howard K. Stern's lawyer says Stern is innocent and "no one enabled" Anna Nicole Smith when it came to drugs. Yeah, sure. [CNN]
• Rihanna is leaving Barbados after partying with her grandparents; she looks super happy in this pic snapped at the airport. [TMZ]
• Cops continue to investigate the shooting at Gisele's wedding; can't you just imagine bodyguards shrugging and feigning innocence while their guns are concealed under their jackets? [Mirror]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps — soon to be divorced — was seen singing karaoke while having a girls' night out, just like classy royals are wont to do. [Page Six]
• I'm not loving Rachel McAdams' hair on the cover of the new Marie Claire but what are you gonna do. She is a cutie, though. [ONTD]
• So Rachel McAdams took part in Marie Claire's book club, and read Prodigal Summer. She says: "I absolutely fell in love with this book. I don't think I got out of bed for three days-I was just eating it up. My favorite story line was the one between Deanna and Eddie Bondo. I found that totally hot. It was one of the hottest love stories I've ever read." [ONTD]
• You know how Paris Hilton has been saying Doug Reinhardt was "going to be" her husband? Apparently she is thinking about a summer wedding, maybe August in the Bahamas. Five bucks says no. [Mirror]
• Taylor Swift looks gaudy and scheming on the new eye-searing cover of Seventeen. [Perez]
• Jessica Simpson is "ignoring" Eminem's video, which is probably best. Also, she has not been dropped from her country label; she was "on loan" and continues to be on Epic records or whatever. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Zac Efron stars in an epic Funny Or Die video that's supposed to go up later today. Also in the clip: Brody Jenner, Joel Madden, Queen Latifah, Justin Long, Nicole Richie, Vanessa Hudgens, Carmen Electra, Brittany Snow and Lance Bass. [EW]
• Amy Poehler and a dead squirrel are on the cover of TV Guide. Amy dishes on the secret of her success: "In 1992, I met an old gypsy woman on the side of the road and she gave me a magic bean. I ate it and that was it. The hard part was I had to chop off her head after she gave it to me. But now look at me. I'm famous." [Just Jared]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of octuplets, is talking about how she financed her in vitro: She inherited $30,000 from an aunt and worked overtime at her job in addition to the disability payments she received. [MSNBC]
• There' some kind of feud going on between Holly Madison and a Las Vegas TV reporter, but honestly? Yawn. [Perez]
• Meanwhile, Kendra Wilkinson has been hanging out at the shooting range. [People]
• Peaches Geldof went clubbing and someone poured a beer on her head and this is newsworthy. [The Sun]
• Lenny Kravitz got fan mail… from French Prez Nicolas Sarkozy! [Reuters]
• Helena Bonham Carter will be in Terminator: Salvation; apparently stills released this week show her with half her face shaved off and her brain visible. Bring it! [Independent]
• Can you picture Al Pacino playing Napoleon? It's gonna happen! For a screen adaptation of a children's book called Betsy And The Emperor. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Rob Lowe won his lawsuit against his former nanny, by the by. She violated the confidentiality agreement she signed by telling everyone Lowe's business. [TMZ]
• Gorgeous and talented Sanaa Lathan will host Lens On Talent, a BET show for undiscovered filmmakers. [USA Today]
• Liam Neeson went to the 70th birthday party of Sir David Frost, on of Neeson's first appearances since the death of his wife, Natasha Richardson. [Telegraph]
• Tim Roth will play a "gnarled tramp" in Skellig, a family film to be shown on TV Easter weekend in the UK. [Telegraph]
• One of the choreographers from So You Think You Can Dance, who was arrested last week for alleged sexual assaults, is expected to be released without any charges pressed by prosecutors. Yeah. [TMZ]
• Jamie Waylett, 19, also known as Vincent Crabbe in the Harry Potter movies, was busted for having a cannabis farm at his mum's house. Maybe he needed it for his Defence Against the Dark Arts class? Herbivus inhalus! [Daily Mail]
• What the world needs now: A Seinfeld porn parody. [The Sun]
• For the love of Zeus why are they remaking Romancing The Stone?!?!?! [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which seemingly down-to-earth starlet is actually a wicked diva? When she wasn't featured as prominently as her other cast members in a recent photo shoot, she left the set in a huff." [Gatecrasher]
• Strictly Come Dancing is an obsession for my entire family. I don't watch much TV but I like that show. You will see me on Strictly or the US version Dancing With The Stars." — Emily Blunt. [Daily Express]
• "We were both looking for our walks, having this great time competing and yet helping each other. I tried all these walks, like that Monty Python sketch, the silly walks. I went to bars in Texas, trying to pass as Texan, trying to get something real. He got his walk, I found mine. And then I came into the make-up room and he shows up with these horrible false teeth that he'd gotten from his dentist. I was so jealous. I mean, I had a walk, he had the limp. But he had the teeth, too." — Jon Voight, on working on classic film Midnight Cowboy with Dustin Hoffman. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I loved the way [the author, Barbara Kingsolver] linked the interconnectedness of nature with the interconnectedness of human relationships. When she writes in the beginning that "solitude is only a human presumption," I thought that was so true. I mean, we all think we're the center of the universe, but we don't exist alone. It's that ripple idea that you cannot touch one thing without affecting another." — Rachel McAdams on Prodigal Summer. [ONTD]
• "I'll be a soccer mom. Like Posh Spice. I'll be there in my heels cheering on my kids. 'Go, team, go!' But I'll have no idea what's going on." — Miley Cyrus, on where she'll be in 10 years. [USA Today]
• "It's a serious crime and there's no doubt it's very disappointing — I was heartbroken by it. Obviously people are seeing an unfinished film. It's like a Ferrari without a paint job." — Hugh Jackman on the Wolverine leak, about which he is "heartbroken." [Reuters]

[London, March 29. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[London, March 28. Image via Getty.]

• His Diddiness continues, "I'm definitely trying to get in on that in the next two years, for real," he says. [E! Online]
• Kate Winslet says that she liked reading the Feminine Mystique in preparation for her Revolutionary Road role as a miserable 50s housefrau. She calls Betty Friedan a "feisty chick" and then says she supposes that she's a feminist, "In a loose, unofficial kind of way, I think I probably am. I mean, not in a bra-burning way. But I think I am a feminist, yeah." [Guardian]
• Balthazar Getty's foul moods have been alienating his Brothers and Sisters castmates. Getty allegedly started getting surly when his extramarital relationship with Sienna Miller started over the summer, in part because Miller used to date costar Matthew Rhys, but also because some of the cast sided with Getty's estranged wife, Rosetta, the mother of his four children. "They often have to move shooting schedules around to accommodate [him]," a source says. [AP via Yahoo News]
• So it begins: 24-year-old Scarlett Johansson is already fielding questions about the status of her uterus. "I love to work and I'm enjoying myself right now. Someday in the distant future I'm sure I'll want to [have kids]. But I'm not ready for that yet." Scar Jo says. [People]
• Guy Ritchie reportedly banned Madonna from the former couples' mansion in the English countryside for the holidays. “He couldn't bear the thought of her padding round the kitchen next morning like old times — there are too many sad memories," a source says. Aw. [The Sun]
• Jeremy Piven's "mercury poisoning" from excessive sushi intake keeps sounding fishier (heh). Apparently at first he told producers he had mono, then he claimed low-level Epstein-Barr, before finally settling on the mercury story, which has been supported by a doctor with a history of fibbing for celebrities. [TMZ]
• Since Michael Phelps is the closest thing to a real, live superhero we have, it's no surprise that they're making a video game based on his persona. "Swimming will play a role, but it won't be the main event," says Newser, but the manufacturer won't say anything more. What else might Michael be doing? [Newser]
• Click here to see the trailer for Beyonce's new movie, Obsessed, a thriller co-starring Idris Elba and Ali Larter. B plays Elba's wife, and Larter is his stalker. [Just Jared]
• Rut Roh! One of David Copperfield's assistant had his arm broken during a recent performance of a trick called the "fan illusion," in which the unidentified employee was supposed to appear as if walking through a fan, before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. Copperfield's producer Chris Kenner called it "a freak accident," and added "People are always saying that it's magic and it isn't dangerous. This goes to show you that it is." At least it's better than being a Siegfried and Roy assistant. [People]
• People were worried about Paula Abdul leaving American Idol, but apparently they have to worry about Simon Cowell ditching them now, too. “I'll make a decision about (whether to stay with the show) next year," Cowell says, not because of any fracas with Abdul, but because of his workload as a music and TV producer. [MSNBC]
• U2 fans take note! The superstars will release a new album in March called No Line On The Horizon. [Reuters]
• Is Oprah moving to DC in order to be close to the Obamas? Insiders say that Winfrey was looking at a $50 million, 9 bedroom house in the Washington area. Her rep didn't return calls. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Nicky Hilton ex Kevin Connolly went over to Paris's house to hang the other night. Are we really still talking about her? [Page Six]
• Page Six is implying that Tom Cruise has oral herpes, as they gleefully point out that both Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes have been photographed with sores on their lips. [Page Six]
• Several stars, including the sore laden Holmes, were interviewed for a new book called The Black Book of Hollywood Pregnancy Secrets. Holmes talks about loving Home Depot, while Kate Hudson says that she finds dating difficult because she's a mom. Plucky Helena Bonham Carter rages against men who criticized her for drinking coffee whilst preggo: "Yeah. You try nine months of gestation and self-abnegation before you start censoring my diet. Your mother was probably on vodka, and do you have three heads?” Finally, Tina Fey says, “I don’t care how many [magazine] covers you’re on. When you’re chasing a 3-year-old around with a pull-up [diaper] hoping she won’t poop on the floor, you’re just like every other mom on the planet.” [NYDN]

[Los Angeles, December 13. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Malibu, December 10. Image via x17]

• Madonna and Alex Rodriguez are "quietly" shopping for a love nest in Manhattan. Is this relationship really real? And why so quick on the rebound, your Madgesty? [Page Six]
• Neither Angelina Jolie nor Brad Pitt can really cook. Angie's "signature dish" is cereal. Brad says, "I can rock a Sunday BBQ but that’s as far as my culinary talents go." [The Sun]
• Barack Obama will almost certainly be Barbara Walters' "Most Fascinating Person of 2008." [Rush & Molloy]
• Beyoncé, blue? Back in 1999, after Destiny's Child changed group members, and the former members accused her father of failing to share profits, Beyoncé felt that everyone blamed her for the group's troubles. She says, "For a couple of years when I was 19 I suffered depression." [Daily Express]
• Check out Beyoncé on the cover of Giant. [Concrete Loop]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty want to do a film together? Is this a joke? [The Sun]

• Amy Winehouse sent X Factor judge Louis Walsh a green tie and shamrock cufflinks as a thank you for being nice to her goddaughter Dionne, who visited the show. The gift came with a handwritten note. A source says: "I very much doubt that Amy wrote it herself as at the end of note there was just a scrawling signature in completely different writing." [The Sun]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince had a "scuffle" over their holiday plans: Kate had scratches on her cheek; Jamie had a black eye from her chunky ring. [Page Six]
• OMFG: Gossip Girl's Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr (Chuck Bass and Vanessa) were seen "canoodling" at the Dallas airport on Sunday night. [Page Six]
• Did anyone see Nastia Liukin on Gossip Girl last night? [LA Times]
• Speaking of Gossip Girl, Kelly Rutherford, aka Lilly van Der Woodsen, is expecting her second child. [ET]
• Gwyneth Paltrow is still with Chris Martin; the rumors that she'd shacked up with a real estate billionaire appear to be false. [Rush & Molloy]
• This reporter is shocked that there are dozens of Facebook groups dedicated to "bullying" Nicole Kidman. One is called "Am I Taking Crazy Pills or is Nicole Kidman the Worst Actress in the World?" and another is "Nicole Kidman Looks Like An Alien With Foetal Alcohol Syndrome." The writer claims, "She is hard-working and dedicated to her family and hasn't a hint of the prima donna about her, they say." [News.com.au]
• Kanye West was playing his new album for the band Keane so loud that he blew up the mixing desk. [The Sun]
• Try to picture Keanu Reeves on a panel with Caltech researchers. It's happening Friday; he's discussing his flick The Day The Earth Stood Still and how "science in the movie meshes with real world scientific research." [UPI]
• The new season of American Idol will be "more real" and "intimate" and "raw," "letting the kids be more emotional." Somehow, Paula Abdul plays a role in this. [MSNBC Scoop]
• You know how Peaches Geldof was working on a magazine? It's called Disappear Here and it will be distributed free on Thursday, in "secret places" in New York. [Gawker]
• News you can't use: Clay Aiken is a "hands-on dad." [People]
• Lost fans: There's a casting call out for a father and son who speak Arabic… Sayid backstory plotline alert! [EW]
• Former UCLA Medical Center employee Lawanda Jackson pleaded guilty Monday to selling confidential info about Farrah Fawcett's cancer battle to the National Enquirer. Plus, she used her boss's password to access the medical records of dozens of patients, including Britney Spears and Maria Shriver. She'll be sentenced in May. [Yahoo News]
• Parminder Nagra, who plays Dr. Neela Rasgotra on ER — and whom some may recall as "Jess" from Bend It Like Beckham, is pregnant with her first child. The baby daddy is boyfriend James Stenson, a photographer, with whom she's been for 7 years. [Us Magazine, UPI]
• Courteney Cox Arquette will be on three episodes of Scrubs, starting January 6. Matthew Perry will also show up on Scrubs, later in the season. [People]
• Eva Longoria smokes. [Perez Hilton]
• "Michael Phelps has turned into a party and poker animal, surrounding himself with bimbos and booze." [Page Six]
• M.I.A. is expecting a B.A.B.Y. and is keeping B.U.S.Y. — she has 3 songs on the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack and launched N.E.E.T., a record label to bring politically charged music to the mainstream. She says: "I think my baby is going to start off making club music. That's all I've been listening to. Of course, you never know. When you want someone to do something, it ends up doing the opposite. It might end up being an accountant." [USA Today]
• Uma Thurman's parents unknowingly hired Tanya Hollander — who is accused of booking call girls at Eliot Spitzer's fave escort service — to manage their upstate yoga center. [NY Post]
• Mariah Carey's husband Nick Cannon has purchased a million dollar ski chalet for Mimi in Aspen. Joint bank account though, right? [Mirror]
• Gabrielle Union says the rumor mill helps her dating life: "Ludacris and Hill Harper are two of my closest male friends, and people always said we were all dating. It's like they were blocking for me. I could date the people I wanted to date and no one ever knew because they thought I was, as somebody said, 'sucking face' with Hill Harper." [Daily Express]
• Ellen Page's Oscar nomination is not enough to get her membership in the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences — the peeps who vote on the Oscars. [NY Mag]
• Cate Blanchett: Getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this Friday! [Daily Express]
• Akon's trial for endangering the welfare of a minor — stemming from when he threw a 15-year-old kid off the stage in a 2007 concert — has been postponed until December 17. [Perez Hilton]
• Donald Trump's brother, Robert, is getting divorced from socialite and major philanthropist Blaine Trump. [NY Post]
• Naomi Campbell's Russian billionaire boyfriend punched a photographer in the gut. [Page Six]
• We haven't seen Cher in a while, because she's been in Nepal working with orphans. [Page Six]
• Hear Helena Bonham Carter's voice in an MTV ad about domestic abuse. [Guardian]
• Singer Bryan Adams has called the cops over a mother and son stalker team. The pair — possibly from Romania and suffering psychiatric problems — have been following Adams for weeks. [The Sun]
• Did the fact that Axl Rose went "missing" for two months cost Guns N' Roses the number one slot on the charts? [The Sun]
• The set used for the British TV show The Office was destroyed after a massive explosion and fire. [Daily Express]
• "Some people talk about their personal lives a lot. I try not to, unless it's more of a generality. I don't want to broadcast my personal life because I feel it's off-putting. People are like, 'Oh, shut the fuck up. Cry me a river.' Who wants to hear the reality, really? You can't win." — Kate Bosworth. [Daily Expess]
• "I sit with my investors and business managers and accountants looking at the numbers and I’m like, 'Yo, the values of stocks in different areas that I invested in are decreasing!' So I take the loss like everybody else…I’m waking up in a room that was previously Mike Tyson’s bedroom, a fighter who earned over $500 million in his actual career, and when I purchased his house from him he was in bankruptcy…If that’s not a strong enough reminder for you, I don’t know what’s going to remind you to be aware of where you are financially and make conscious decisions…" — 50 Cent, in Forbes. [The.Life Files]