[Brentwood, August 12. Image via Flynet]

[Brentwood, December 1. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Lindsay Lohan has turned down a $700,000 offer to pose topless in Playboy. Since we already saw her nipples in New York magazine, what would be the point? [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, there's a truce in the Lohan fam: Michael is actually saying nice things about Dina! And mom, dad and all the kids will allegedly all be together for the final service for Lindsay's grandfather, who died last week. They'll scatter his ashes in a Long Island harbor. [E!]
• You know how Sarah Palin was on the cover of Us? Apparently the magazine "lost thousands of subscribers in the first 24 hours" following the printing of the issue. [MSNBC]

• Lily Allen's suffering from a major hangover and some regret after drunkly swearing on stage at the GQ Awards. Her Facebook status is "dying inside" and she wrote that she "feels like killing" herself, although that part has since been removed. Free champagne is a blessing and a curse. [Daily Mail]
• Leighton Meester and Blake Lively of Gossip Girl: Guest stars on 30 Rock this fall. Apparently Liz Lemon was a mean girl in high school! [EW]
• Heidi Montag: "I'm waiting for my Barbie Doll. That's what I want next." Spencer Pratt: "We just talked to Mattel yesterday, and we are already working on our own Ken and Barbie." That sound you hear: Thunderous hooves, as the Apocalyptic horsemen approach. [Socialite Life]
• Romeo Beckham is The Dark Knight. [The Sun]
• Balthazar Getty and Matthew Rhys, who play brothers on Brothers & Sisters are not speaking to each other, and it's Sienna Miller's fault. Naturally. [E!]
• Hayden Panettiere, 19, is moving into her own house in West Hollywood. But! Her beau, Milo Ventimiglia, is upset because he thought they were moving in together. Turns out she's wary of Milo, who keeps talking about marriage. A source says: "She's not even old enough to have a drink, so she's not even thinking about settling down." [Star]
• Whoa, there's a feud between Alec Baldwin and Greg Garcia, the exec producer of My Name Is Earl. Alec can't understand why they'd do a one-hour episode of Earl: You've got to be fucking kidding me," he says. Garcia says Alec sounds like a "psychotic narcissist." [Page Six, Defamer]
• This story about Jennifer Aniston is titled: "Did Brangelina Spoil Jennifer For Other Men?" Here is an actual line from the article: "When it comes to men, Jen’s radar seems hopelessly broken, leaving her prey to the serial-shagger charms of men such as [Paul] Sculfor, who is now cosily loved up with Cameron Diaz, and [John] Mayer, who has been involved with a string of other celebs including Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewitt." [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse ordered 48 bottles of Jack Daniel's. For a weekend gig. [The Sun]
• Kim Kardashian is helping sister Khloe with Celebrity Apprentice. First assignment: Lunch with Omarosa. Uh-oh! [Page Six]
• Tension in New Kids On The Block? Seems like Donnie won't hang out with the other kids or play their reindeer games. [Page Six]
• Richard Branson says, "The best way to reduce your carbon footprint is not to fly at all. But that's not realistic. You can't walk to England." He has a solution, of course: "Fly Virgin. One hundred percent of all profits from all our airlines are reinvested into finding a cleaner fuel solution. We had an experimental 747 that ran on coconut oil… but it took 150,000 coconuts for one flight. So now we're looking at developing fuel from algae. If you fly Virgin, you'll support this cause." [Rush & Molloy]
• Rachel Weisz was voted Hollywood's hottest babe — in a poll of 4,000 lesbians. [The Sun]
• Actor Joe Pantoliano, aka Ralph Cifaretto on the Sopranos, was at the RNC lobbying for his charity, No Kidding, which deals with brain disease. Joey Pants sufferers from clinical depression. [Page Six]
• The court case between Matt LeBlanc and his former business manager has been settled. You can click to see the court papers or think a happy thought about butterflies, and I suggest the latter, because the papers are a yawn. [ET]
• One year after vowing never to perform on the MTV Awards again, Kanye West will close the show's 25th annual ceremony in Hollywood on Sunday. [Reuters]
• Christina Aguilera will also perform at the VMAs. [Daily Star]
• Don't hold your breath for U2's new album: It's been pushed to 2009. Bono says the band has 50 or 60 new songs to consider for inclusion. Decision time. [Reuters]
• The dude who robbed Kiki Dunst's hotel room last August is getting four years in jail. Maybe that's why his MySpace has Jewish prayer music on it? [Gothamist]
• Ciara: Naked on the cover of Vibe magazine. [Concrete Loop]
• Akon performed in South Africa last week and when one of his female fans embraced him, he violently elbowed her off the stage. [Molly Good]
• Anthony Edwards will appear on the final season of ER, but Dr. Mark Greene is not back from the dead: He'll be in flashback scenes. [AP]
• Are you the Gatekeeper? Columbia Pictures is working on a new installment of Ghostbusters. [LA Times]
• An L.A. businessman is suing Gene Simmons over an Indy Racing League deal. [E!]
• "It's going to stop one day. It's not that you fall. It's just one day there are new people, and, you know, the opportunities aren't what they once were. It happens to everybody, man. I prepare for the worst. I think every show I do, I realize I could get booed off the stage and they could throw tomatoes. Hey — Michael Jackson, man. One day you're Vanilla Ice and the next day you're…Vanilla Ice." — Chris Rock on his career. [Page Six]
• "I live in Costa Rica, way off the grid. We live off solar power, with no car, and no telephone. I'm nothing like my character. I'm more into the environment." — Perrey Reeves, aka Entourage's Mrs. Ari Gold. [Rush & Molloy]
• "I didn't really have any expectations. They say it gives you a little more juice for the first year and that's it. It certainly didn't help me get this movie made." — Helen Hunt, on life after winning an Oscar, and her directorial debut, Then She Found Me, in which Salman Rushie has a part as an obstetrician. [Guardian]
• "The corsets were very restrictive. The worst part was after lunch because they don’t help your digestion." — Keira Knightley on burping her way through The Duchess. [The Sun]
• "I don't always love kids. Sometimes I absolutely loathe them. Children are just people who haven't lived very long yet. I'm predisposed to be affectionate if someone’s smaller but if they're loathsome in the first five minutes, they're loathsome.” — Colin Firth. [Daily Express]
• "I had sex if I had the energy. I wasn't one of those guys who believed in the myths about the guy losing his chi. The fact is that if you are riding your bike six, seven hours a day, you are not a sex champion. You're just not. You have fatigue, low testosterone and a lower libido. But you know, I never got any complaints." — Lance Armstrong to Men's Journal. [Page Six]

[Hawaii, July 12. Image via x17]

[Hawaii, May 29. Image via Splash.]

The Good:
They don't call her The Divine Miss M for nothing.

Nom nom Colin Firth and the pretty lady on his arm.

Good for Heather Matarazzo and her girlfriend for keeping it simple.

Words I never thought I would say: Kelly Killoren Bensimon looks fresh, sophisticated, and classic in her exaggerated shirting dress. This is by far one of the best looks of the night: So effortless.

Also, I love Olivia Palmero taking boho chic (a heinous phrase, I know) to the max.

I have no idea if daughter-of-Meryl Mamie Gummer can act, but I totally love how she dresses. In short black she remains cute and sweet.

Sure both Kathy Najimy and Gloria Steinem have been sporting the same look, respectively, for like the past 15 years now — but I wouldn't mind aging like Steinem and stealing her outfit when I do.

Jesus, even Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick turned up looking kicky last night.

Go for the gold, Helen Hunt.

The Bad:
Bernadette Peters is inching dangerously close to pathetic old cat lady in this outfit.

Aw, it's Magda (aka Lynn Cohen)! Only, she looks like she stepped out of a time machine that just returned from 1988.

No Ricki, no Ricki, no!

Ew: It's Jessica Seinfeld. (Oh and also that rich famous dude she married.)

The Ugly:
And today Irina Pantaeva shows up dressed like a ladybug.

[Images via FilmMagic.]

The Good:
God bless Helen Hunt: She still looks beautiful.



Nom nom Ryan Eggold.



The Bad:
Courteney Cox looks a little trashy. The cut of her pants and top create a really strange silhouette on her body.



As Tim Gunn would say, the colors are muddy in Ashley Johnson's ensemble. As Michael Kors would say, she looks too old lady. And as Nina Garcia would say... Nina wouldn't speak: She would just make a judgmental face.



I want to like Shannon Woodward's playful dress, but something just ain't right.



David Spade: "Hey little girl, want some candy?"



Thou shalt not wear a copper muumuu, Sharon Lawrence.



The Ugly:
Alexandra Breckenridge looks ghastly in garish green.

[Images via Getty.]