• Tom Cruise is being sued by Michael David Sapir, who he sued in 2001 after Sapir claimed he had a video of Cruise "engaged in a homosexual relationship." Now Sapir says Cruise hired a P.I. to wiretap his phone.

He says the wiretapping took place during the 2001 case, which was later settled. Afterwards, both parties issued a statement saying the tape never existed. [TMZ]

• An autopsy was performed today on Brittany Murphy. Sources say there were no signs of foul play, but nothing that pointed to a cause of death either. Now the coroner is waiting for the toxicology report and other lab tests come back. [TMZ]
• The LAPD has concluded its preliminary investigation into the death of Brittany Murphy and sources say there is no evidence of foul play. [TMZ ]
• In this article, Brittany Murphy's "friends" say she got addicted to prescription drugs after having plastic surgery, used cocaine, and had an eating disorder. "We have been very worried something like this was about to happen. Brittany has been living life on the edge. She definitely had a drug problem and we have all begged her to seek help. Sadly our words fell on deaf ears," said the source. [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher, who dated Brittany Murphy, showed up to a book signing for Kabbalah leader Yehuda Berg on Sunday afternoon, but an eyewitness says he "looked visibly shaken when he arrived. He was physically there to support Berg, but mentally he was on another planet." [Star]
• This video isn't all that interesting, but it now seems creepy in light of Brittany Murphy's death. At a public appearance, she says to a reporter, "Can I have your hair in my next life please?" The reporter replies, "Can I be you in my next life?" [TMZ]
• In an e-mail to ABC News, Brittany Murphy's half-brother Jeff Bertolotti said, "I haven't seen my little sis for eight years or so now due to family issues and Hollywood politics, but never have i lost my heart for that sweet little child... I'm torn up in side beyond belief. It's just not natural for a man of 54 to see his kid sister of 32 leave in such an abrupt manner as this. The loss is just unbearable to us all." [ABC News]
• A clip of Abby Elliott impersonating Brittany Murphy on the December 5 episode of SNL was removed from Hulu last night. [EW]
• Hockey player Mike Fisher confirmed that he and Carrie Underwood are engaged at a press conference before an Ottawa Senators game tonight. "It's true," said Fisher. "We're both obviously excited and very happy." [Ottawa Sun]
• Her rep says: "I'm happy to confirm that Carrie Underwood is engaged to Mike Fisher, and the couple couldn't be happier... No wedding date has been set at this time." [People]
• There's a rumor going around that Jay-Z and Beyonce have changed their legal names to Shawn and Beyonce Knowles-Carter. A source says Beyonce wanted to keep the Knowles name alive because her parents had no boys. [Media Take Out]
• Britney Spears' manager posted a "BS Alert" on her blog listing the 75 most outlandish stories published about Britney last year. He lists a story about Britney dating Indian choreographer Sandip Soparrkar as the most ridiculous, but we think Courtney Love posting on her Facebook page "britneys dad molested her" is more disturbing. [Us]
• The FBI was supposed to release 333 pages of formerly-classified documents about Michael Jackson today, but they've been delayed by a day due to the snow storm. Source say the documents show that in 1993 Johnnie Cochran contacted the FBI and claimed the family of the boy who accused Michael Jackson of child molestation was just trying to extort money from MJ. [TMZ]
• Wave goodbye to Tiger Woods: Sources say he and some friends took off on his yacht from Florida this weekend and they're cruising to the Bahamas. [E!]
• It seems all of Tiger Woods' neighbors knew that he was cheating because he'd take women out to dinner and bring them to his home. "Elin feels that Tiger made a fool of her and that's not something she can forgive," said a source. [Radar Online]
• Sources say the husband of Theresa Rogers, the woman who had the longest affair with Tiger Woods, found out about their affair but made some kind of arrangement so she could keep sleeping with Tiger. [Radar Online]
• Moments after Pete Doherty escaped a prison sentence by admitted to careless and drunken driving in court, he was arrested on suspicon of possessing a controlled drug and taken to the police station across the street from the court house. [The Telegraph]
• Boy George is appealing his probation sentence for imprisoning a male escort because it prevents him from appearing on Celebrity Big Brother. [BBC]
• Are Randy and Evi Quaid on the lam? This morning they posted bail and later they were seen packing some belongings into their car and driving off into the sunset. [Perez Hilton]
• Check out Evi Quaid's mug shot from her arrest on Saturday here: [Radar Online]
• New Zealand TV host Paul Henry, who said Susan Boyle was "starved of oxygen at birth" and "she is in fact retarded," has apologized saying, "I am sorry that some people have taken what I said in a way that I never intended." [AFP]
• Want to party with the cast of Jersey Shore? It's going to cost you. Michael Schweiger of CEG Talent says, "We get the most requests for Mike (aka The Situation) and Pauly D. They're $7,500 per person." [E!]
• One of Bon Jovi's sons was taken to the hospital in New Jersey this morning. Authorities said the incident wasn't serious and he's already been released. [Perez Hilton]
• Taylor Swift is in talks to star in the remake of the 1984 flop Supergirl! The Love Story. [The Wrap]
• Taylor Swift has been named the Associated Press Entertainer of the Year. "I am so honored and so excited," Swift said. "This was so unexpected, and I could not be more grateful." Tina Fey won last year and Stephen Colbert won in 2007. [AP]
• The AP says Michael Jackson's death was the biggest entertainment story of 2009 (obvs.). [AP]
• No surprises here either: Entertainment Weekly named Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag's How To Be Famous the worst book of the year. [EW]
• Jessica Simpson posted this video of herself using an ear candle, which was a Christmas gift from her hair stylist Ken Paves, on her Twitter for some unknown reason. [Buzzfeed]
• Some previously unseen letters Princess Diana wrote in the 1980s have been released. In one letter she tells a friend, "I could not resist opening my present, as a parcel of any shape or form has never been safe with me and I fear that William has also picked up this dreadful habit from his mother, as I find wrapping paper undone in the most extraordinary places!" [Daily Mail]
• Nancy Meyers says Alec Baldwin demanded a butt double for It's Complicated. "He said, 'Mine's beautiful. However, I don't want to do that,'" she reported. [Us]

• Beyoncé's first perfume, Heat, launches in February. She says, "Red is one of my favorite colors, as is gold." And the bottle is intended to look antique, because her mother had so many old perfumes when she was little. [WWD]

• Whitney Port, of The Hills/The City fame, says, of fellow fashion-designing show alums Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag, "I put myself in a different sort of realm as them." Port's biggest fear with her label is "people not understanding your point of view, not being able to get it. But I think my biggest competition is myself." [WWD]
• About 200 Chanel employees picketed the company's headquarters just outside of Paris. Workers who make less than €3000 a month have been offered a 1% pay raise; instead, they would like a raise of 2.5%. [WWD]
• Charlize Theron embroidered a baobab tree on a pair of red Toms shoes for her limited-edition collaboration with the eco-friendly, ethically managed company. Ten thousand of the shoes will be distributed free to children in her native South Africa, and the profits from the $54 slip-ons will benefit Theron's charity. [People]
• According to Jimmy Choo, Madonna thinks his shoes are better than sex. "Madonna told me that buying a pair of my shoes is more satisfying than having sex with a man. At least you know they are going to last for ever!" [OK!]
• Tory Burch is growing overseas. The designer recently opened a flagship in Manila, and her first Tokyo store, which just fêted its launch, will be joined by 30 more outposts across the country over the next few years. [WWD]
• Check out the decade in Olsen style, from distressed denim and tube tops to Chloé wedges and studded Givenchy jackets, via the notorious NYU bag lady period. [Style.com]
• Ever since Barack Obama identified his wife's pin, on Oprah, as one he had purchased for her at Garavelli on their anniversary, people have been buying Garavelli jewelry like it's going out of style. [WWD]
• Lady Gaga curated a selection of goods for sale at the site Not Just A Label. You can snap up her fringed lace half hat from the video for "Bad Romance" for a surprisingly reasonable £92, should you feel the need to dress like a deranged Spanish widow from 2078. [NJAL]
• Malls in Dubai still seem busy, despite the debt crisis there. [WWD]
• Hilary Rhoda will be in next year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Friend-to-Jezebel Liz Glover recently interviewed the model and asked her about her shoot for last year's issue. "For a model, it is a major achievement and a business tactic to widen my fan base," said the Chevy Chase native, over e-mail. "I work out every day, and to have a strong body instead of something frail like in fashion magazines, that's something to look up to." Rhoda, of course, sometimes does appear in the pages of fashion magazines — she once made the cover of American Vogue. Could her athletic look gain high-fashion acceptance? We can dare to dream. [Washington Times]
• Model Jamie Bochert recently ran 12 blocks to get her purse back from a robber. Now that's an athlete. Also she is in the new Lanvin campaign. [WWD]
• Christian Siriano says his maternity line includes party dresses because, "When you're pregnant you still do the same things that you would normally do — go to events, baby showers and weddings. Not every brand does sweet, fun party dresses like this." [People]
• Says Carmen Dell'Orefice, whose name this time Page Six spells correctly: "Sympathy I don't need. Another ad campaign would be great." Dell'Orefice lost most of her fortune in Bernie Madoff's ponzi scheme. [P6]
• More details have emerged about the fashion business incubator program launching soon in New York. Twelve lucky designers will be given the opportunity to rent studio space in the heart of the garment district for under market rates — around $1500 a month. The program is underwritten by a $200,000 grant from the New York City Economic Development Corporation and operated by the Council of Fashion Designers of America. The tenant designers will be announced this month. [FWD]
• Because of dismal sales, Ben Sherman is shuttering its women's line. The company earlier this year stopped making children's wear. [WWD]
• Nike's quarterly results for the period ended November 30 were only slightly down on last year's. Profits and sales at the world's largest sporting goods company each fell by 4%. [WSJ]

• Earlier this week on The View, Joy Behar joked about Tiger Woods' mistress Rachel Uchitel: "Yeah, you-ka-tell she's a hooker." Uchitel didn't find it so funny, and her lawyer threatened to sue the show.

• The View responded by issuing this statement: "Joy Behar made a play on Ms. Uchitel's name. This was intended as a joke. We sincerely apologize for the choice of words and for any misimpression the joke may have created." [TMZ]
• Woods, for his part, is taking an "indefinite" break from golf. [ESPN]
• An unnamed Tiger Woods mistress bragged to friends that she had been trying to get pregnant by him for years. "She used to try to arrange to see Tiger when she was ovulating. She thought she'd be set for life financially if she could have Tiger's baby," said a source. Tiger had no idea, but hopefully he's learned an important lesson about birth control. [Radar Online]
• On the Today show, Jamie Jungers said she was introduced to Tiger Woods at a nightclub in 2005 and they ended up sleeping together. She said, "The more we drank, the more flirtatious it got." Isn't that how these things usually go? Jungers insists she isn't part of the escort service that some claim Tiger uses. "I got nothing from this relationship – except a broken heart," she said. [People]
• Escort-service owner Michelle Braun says of Jamie Jungers' story, "That's just a lie. Of course she's going to deny it. What girl is going to go on national TV and admit she was an escort?" [E!]
• In court today Anna Nicole Smith's two doctors and her lawyer, Howard K. Stern, plead not guilty to drug conspiracy charges. A judge refused to suspend the physicians' medical licenses, saying the case has been going on for years, so they're obviously not an "imminent danger." [AP]
• You may have heard that Courteney Cox and David Arquette are adopting a child, but her rep says it's a "complete fabrication." [Daily Express]
• Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson has been charged with first degree residential burglary and receiving stolen property for allegedly stealing lingerie, mail, clothing, and handbags from her ex-girlfriend Jasmine Lennard's home. [TMZ]
• Here's something you shouldn't regift: engagement rings. The ring Tila Tequila gave her fiancee Casey Johnson is actually the same ring she gave Courtenay Semel when they were dating."It is absolutely not real and Casey is well aware," said Courtenay. "I would not expect Tila to be able to differentiate a real diamond from a fake one. Her ring is as real as her engagement!"" [Radar Online]
• Ashlee Simpson has been cast as a supporting character in Nicole Richie's new sitcom. "Nicole adores Ashlee, and she truly believes in her talent," says a source. "With few other job prospects on the horizon, Ashlee - who desperately wants to establish herself as an actress - was feeling down until Nicole stepped up and promised: ‘I've got your back. What are girlfriends for?'" [Hollywood Scoop]
• Ick. Heidi Montag wrote on Twitter, "Here is a poem I wrote for my hubby Spencer," and linked to a 58-line poem about the flesh-bearded one. Here's a sample: "You are the most selfless, loving, perfect, caring, miraculous soul to be / Every day I am in aw (sic) of you / All of you passions motives are always so pure and true / I feel bad for all the women in the world who don't have you / But sorry ladies there is one and I don't share [Us]
• Charges have been dropped against the 22-year-old Chicago woman accused of videotaping a part of New Moon. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Def Leppard's former manager filed a lawsuit against the band for allegedly not paying her after a 2008 tour. [Radar Online]
• VIDEO: At LAX the paparazzi get too close to a woman in Axl Rose's entourage. He says, "touch her again, I'll break his fucking neck." The photographer touches her again and Axl knocks him to the ground. [TMZ]
• A woman called the police from Nelly's house after she saw "an older man with glasses and a mustache" walking around the house with a duffel bag full of video games and electronics. When the man was asked "why are you here?" he didn't answer and ran for an open window. Was it an early visit from Santa? [TMZ]
• Judy Garland and Sir Elton John were named the top gay icons by a voters on OnePoll.com. [Contact Music]
• Liza Minnelli says The Wizard of Oz isn't one of her favorite films. "I just loved her so and for some reason The Wizard of Oz bothers me when I see it. They do terrible things to her. ... That's 'cause it's my mom." [AP]
• Alyssa Milano is among the many Italian-Americans offended by Jersey Shore "My husband actually showed me the trailer on YouTube last night, and I got upset," she said. "It upset me. I was like, 'Turn that off!' So no, I don't think I'll be watching that!'" Nicole Polizzi, a.k.a. "Snookie," defended her show on The Wendy Williams Show saying, "The Italian, whatever, national, whatever their organization is, they don't understand that 'guidos' and 'guidettes' are good-looking people that, you know, like to make a scene and be center of attention and just take care of themselves... They are old-fashioned. They don't know that; they think it's offensive, because maybe in their time it was offensive, but now it's kind of a compliment. So they don't understand that and that is what we are trying to say. They are way overreacting to the show. We're 22 to 29 just having fun at the shore. They are just taking it way out of proportion." [Us]
• After a screening of her new film The Young Victoria Emily Blunt said, "I don't feel like I had a burning ambition to play the Queen of England... She learned not to mistake stubbornness for strength, and I learned about the humanity of that world." [Style]
• "I can't go two months without being pregnant, engaged, or breaking up because I'm too needy, which is always the one they love," says Kate Hudson. "I'm not needy. You kind of have to laugh it off, but it can kind of screw up other things around it." She added: "If I walk out on the street with any man, I'm dating him. I've been dating two of my best friends from high school who are like girls to me. I have a child, and there are people involved, and it's unfair to talk about somebody else, especially when you're not in that place yet to be discussing those things." [Star]
• Tori Amos says she went through years of therapy but her daughter Natashya, who was born in 2000, was "the missing piece of the puzzle for me. [Her birth] literally kicked out any kind of negativity or self-abuse that I was holding onto." [CNN]
• Dave Itzkoff, who interviewed the remaining members of the Jackson 5 for Sunday's New York Times Magazine says they "seemed mostly unaware of the aura that surrounds their surname. They were a quartet of garrulous, goofy, occasionally cantankerous men who just happen to belong to one of popular culture's most captivating and scrutinized families - and who are still coping with a devastating loss on that same tremendous scale." [N.Y.T.]
• "I am not proud of being rich," says Ricky Gervais. "I still think they are waiting for me to pick up the wrong fork." [ONTD]
• In Esquire's "What I've Learned" column, Peter Jackson admits, "I'm a technophobe. I don't know how the technology works. But I know what the technology is capable of, which is the important thing." He adds, "My thirteen-year-old daughter makes films with her friends on the weekends. Then she edits them on iMovie, and I sit with her and ask her to teach me how to do it. I'm trying to learn." [Esquire]
• 15-year-old Saoirse Ronan says of her character in The Lovely Bones, "I never really thought of Susie Salmon as someone who was dead... Although her body is dead, her soul is still there. That's what makes Susie who she is and that's what I love about her." [Reuters]
• After an Irish report found that Catholic church leaders covered up widespread sexual abuse of children for 30 years, Pope Benedict said he felt "outrage, betrayal, and shame," but Sinead O'Connor is still calling for him to step down. "Popes have had no problem voicing their opinions when we wanted contraception or divorce," O'Connor said. "No problem criticizing The Da Vinci Code. No problem criticizing Naomi Campbell for wearing a bejeweled cross. Yet when it comes to the evils done by pedophiles dressed as priests they are silent. It is grotesque, unbelievable, bizarre and unprecedented. They stand for nothing now but evil." [Reuters]
• Pierce Brosnan, who appears in Roman Polanski's upcoming film The Ghost, says of the director's arrest, "There's a sadness to the whole situation. What happened was wrong in every way, but I just wish the man well and closure for this time in his life, at this moment in time. He's a magnificent director. He's iconic in the world of cinema. I think we've made a good film, the cast is really top class and I just hope that justice will be served with some dignity and compassion, and swiftly... We had dinners, we talked, I met him before and we got on very well together, but I don't know the man. I certainly knew the history of the man, and my heart goes out to his family, to his wife and to his children, and, as I say, I hope this chapter can be closed quickly." [Daily Express]
• "I tried to lose my virginity when I was seven-years-old," Diddy tells Playboy. "I was on top of a girl who was nine or 10, but it didn't happen - so everybody doesn't have to bug out. My mother and the babysitter whipped my ass." [The Sun]

Of course, it wouldn't be a Speidi interview if the couple didn't talk about Lauren Conrad's sex tape.

Obviously, Heidi is not pregnant, and this is all just contrived drama for the show. Still, it's kinda fun thinking about the possibility of a Pratt brat with an Oedipus complex.

In other news, Kristin went to Vegas with Stacie-The-Bartender to get away from the guys in L.A. However, she discovered that douchiness is not specific to any one city, and was not impressed with the guys she met on her trip.


So she called JustinBobby, and he drove down to Vegas to take a shower.


JustinBobby made a very astute observation when he said, "Everything happens for a reason." (He means that everything happens because the producers tell them what they should do, right?) He, Kristin, and Stacie-The-Bartender all went to a strip club, where Kristin and STB made out.


The next morning, Kristin and JustinBobby discussed the events at the strip club, however, most of it was censored out, and it's incredibly difficult to infer what transpired. From what I can deduce, one of two things happened: A stripper took a shit on Kristin or a stripper went down on Kristin.

• Jennifer Hudson will sing for President Obama, Michelle Obama and their guests at a state dinner tonight.

I love that the Obamas love their Chicago gal. She should always be at the White House. For some reason, I am imagining a scenario in which JHud sings "And I am telling you… I'm not going…" And then actually refuses to leave. [ET]

• Miley Cyrus went for burgers, and when the counter person asked her name to mark the order, the teen dream said: ""Are you serious? You don't recognize me? I'm Miley Cyrus." The counterperson shrugged, having no idea what that meant, and replied: "That's nice for you. Here is your order. Have a good day." [Page Six]
• Wow, Carla Bruni is going to be in a Woody Allen movie! "I don't know for what role but I said yes," she explains. And she admits she lacks experience as an actress: Perhaps I will be very bad." [WSJ]
• Judi Dench was filming a Christmas special set in the 1840s when she lost a crown on her tooth. ''There wasn't time for me to change,'' she says. ''So I was in my wig and bonnet and all my clothes. I went into the waiting room and sat and registered, and everyone kept looking at me. When I got in to see the dentist, he said: 'Are you busy working at the moment?' I was wearing a full wig with curls." [Telegraph]
• BREAKING: Amber Tamblyn got eyelash extensions. [Page Six]
• Jon and Kate might be over, but the Jon Gosselin drama lives on! The breach of contract suit against him — in which TLC claims be took on unauthorized work — persists. Now there are — you guessed it — phone call recordings between Gosselin's manager and (who else?) Michael Lohan. [MSNBC Scoop]
• At the link, you can listen to a recorded Jon Gosselin rant about TLC and say: "I put my kids out there to every pedophile on the planet and they never got paid for it." [Radar Online]
• Mariah Carey was on GMTV in the UK, and the host of the show says: "She had two people to lower her on to the GMTV sofa, in case her dress got crushed, one person to walk in front of her backwards at all times in case she fell over and several people behind the camera making sure she was going to be filmed from the right angle! Oh, and she brought her own toilet roll as well." [The Sun]
• Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds partied all night for ScarJo's birthday, and ScarJo and RyRen looked so in love and everything was wonderful and their life is perfect. [Page Six]
• Regis Philbin will be away from Live with Regis & Kelly for a month while he recovers from hip replacement surgery. Be well Reege! [NY Post]
• Emma Watson has a new boyfriend, Spanish rock star Rafael Cebrian. Allegedly. [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse spent thousands on "saucy" underwear, perfume and a rhinestone-enrcusted whip over the weekend. According to a source, "Amy loves showing off her new boobs and wanted to get sexy underwear to make the most of them. She couldn't resist getting a few other bits and pieces, like the whip." [The Sun]
• Remember when Nicole Kidman said she'd "explored obsession" and "strange sexual fetish stuff"? She takes it back, sorta: She meant when acting! "That's what I said in relation to my work. In terms of my work, yeah, I'm interested in exploring love and so that comes in all different forms. In terms of my private life, I'd never reveal what I've explored in my private life." [Daily Express]
• Just because Taylor Lautner is on the cover of Men's Health and Taylor Swift was on the cover of Women's Health doesn't mean they're in competition with each other. Jeez. [Page Six]
• A film about Lil' Wayne is controversial? You don't say. [CNN]
• For some reason I hallucinated that Cougar Town was cancelled. Instead it was just on a break while Courteney Cox dealt with a "family matter" and will be back filming on November 30. I would love to do a "when do you think Cougar Town will get cancelled" pool, though. [People]
  
• Neve Campbell talks about living in London, getting ready to film Scream 4, her "terrible" fashion mistakes in the past, her work with an orphanage in African and "working the Sidney bob" for the Scream flicks. [BlackBook]
• Timbaland says he did not delete Chris Brown's vocal from a track called "The One I Love" due to the drama in Chris' life — "Chris is a friend to us," a rep for Timbaland claims. But Chris is missing from the song. [E!]
• 50 Cent settled the lawsuit he filed against Taco Bell after the fast-food chain used his name without permission. The dollar amount has not been disclosed, but 50 was asking for $4 million, which buys a lot of 99¢ tacos. [NY Post]
• Tyler Perry has donate $1 million to the NAACP. [WaPo]
• Spencer Pratt bet some DJs that Heidi Montag's performance at the Miss Universe pageant was the most-watched performance of all time and now he wants his money. [TMZ]
• Jeez, the Aerosmith dramz is never-ending. Joe Perry is not speaking to Steven Tyler and seems generally hostile about the situation. [MTV News]
• It appears that Pulp Fiction writer Roger Avary is updating his Twitter account and Tweeting. From JAIL. [The Wrap]
• Rosie O'Donnell raised money for her Rosie's Broadway Kids charity not by offering trips or prizes or dinners — but by working the room. [Showbiz 411]
• Poor Kirk Cameron. Going to a UCLA to convince students that Darwin's theory of evolution is wrong really backfired on you, huh? The students totally know what they're talking about when they say Darwin had evidence. [TMZ]
• Tila Tequila claims a sex video that recently popped up on a porn site was stolen from her laptop two years ago. She's planning to sue. [TMZ]
• There will be a Susan Boyle documentary on the TV Guide Network? Isn't that the one where the channels scroll all day long? [NY Post]
• Little Richard is recovering from surgery and asks for your wop bop a loo bops and prayers. [USA Today]
• Whatshername would like to apologize for her behavior since her divorce. [BBC News]
• "I knew what tone I wanted for the book, and it was a matter first of coming up with an outline, getting the characters, the ending, and then figuring out how to get from one point to the next. I'd send [a chapter] to [my collaborator]. He'd come back with some notes. If there was something I felt strongly enough about, then we'd talk about it to see if it would work. The book had to sound like I wrote it." — Al Roker, on his new mystery novel, The Morning Show Murders. [The Daily Beast]
• "The difference between you and me is that even when I wash my hands, I can't get it out of my mind that they're not clean. I have to go back to the sink, I can't even continue with my day. I have to leave the party, leave work. Those thoughts are so intrusive and on a continual loop that I can't inhibit it. Everybody has irregular thoughts, but not like this… I'm probably the only guy set up for these book signings hoping no one will show up. I don't want to face anyone, look anyone in the eye. Who, with my condition, would do a book tour right in the middle of H1N1 flu season?" — Howie Mandel, whose book, Here's the Deal: Don't Touch Me, hits stores today. [USA Today]
• "Why are people embarrassed about elderly sex? I hate it when I'm given a script in which the guy's wife is dead. That's just an easy way to dispense with having sex. Audiences don't want to see Big Daddy and Big Mama in bed – but I like to talk about it." — James Earl Jones, who plays Big Daddy in the all-black stage version of Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, now in London. [Guardian]
• "We have gotten ourselves into a big, deep hole in the way that we look at healthcare. We are in a system where they get money when we're sick. That's never going to work for us. So when someone says, 'You don't need a mammogram until you're 50,' you take charge of that. I don't trust any of that." — Melissa Etheridge. [People]
• "We were working 12 hours a day, so it didn't leave too much time to eat." — New Moon's Ashley Greene on staying thin. Then her publicist nudged her, and she said: "We had a personal trainer and then we also had fight training." [Ny Daily News]
• "It took us only six months to get married, but it took us five years to commit to making a movie together." — Tao Ruspoli, who made the indie flick Fix with his wife of seven years, Olivia Wilde. [Page Six]
• "I'm all set [with a boyfriend]. But unfortunately not everyone out there is and it's tough to date, to be out there and so I kind of wanted to portray that other side of women's reality and [my song] 'Did It Again' is about making recurrently the same mistake which is something us women tend to do because of our emotional nature, that emotional, romantic and dreamy nature." — Shakira. [AP]
• "He plays guitar and has a great voice. Kids and dogs love him. He loves his mom and sister and girlfriend. He's perfect... too bad he's ugly." — Natalie Portman on Jake Gyllenhaal. I know she's kidding, but I do suspect he's had a nose job. [Mirror]

• Timbaland recorded a song with Chris Brown for his upcoming album, but now he's removed Chris' vocals from the track. Timbaland's manager says it's a "creative decision for both parties," but sources say he's done with the "drama" surrounding Chris.

• Timbaland's manager added, "There's nothing against Chris. We love Chris." Coincidentally, Timbaland's album will be released on December 8, the same day as Chris'. [TMZ]
• In May Chris Brown was sued by a paparazzo who claims he fell down a staircase at an L.A. Fitness after being chased by his bodyguards. Now Chris has filed papers saying he's not responsible for the injuries because LA Fitness didn't keep the paparazzi out.TMZ]
• Someone threw a packaged ham at Paula Deen at a charity event in Atlanta. It smacked her in the face, but she wasn't injured. [TMZ]
• Her rep says she was "startled at first, but quickly regained focus and kept her humor... She's okay now and is icing her face." [Us]
• ABC received about 1,500 complaints about Adam Lambert's performance at the AMAs last night, which included a dancer on a leash, simulated oral sex, and Lambert kissing another man. ABC said that isn't an unusual number of complaints, and the executives probably don't care because it was the highest rated AMAs since 2002. [USA Today]
• Jennifer Lopez joked about tripping at the AMAs, saying, "Did I trip a little bit? I don't even remember... Yeah, I meant to do that. That was part of the choreography." [People]
• Roman Polanski's lawyers are fighting amongst themselves. Last week, his French lawyer said, "he will not accept being extradited to the United States," but his L.A. lawyers just issued a statement saying, "Any statements made in the press to the effect that Mr. Polanski will not accept lawful orders of the courts, including relating to extradition, are not true." [Daily Express]
• In response to Perez Hilton writing: "It's been one year since Asslee pushed Bronx Mowgli through her vayjayjay and it's all the family is talking about!" Jessica Simpson Tweeted: "Does perez hilton..whatever his name really is..have no heart at all? Don't ever attack my family again.Sad to know u hate so deeply.Sad 4 U" [Us]
• Jon Gosselin's former lawyer Charles Meyer, who withdrew from his divorce case in September, has filed an emergency petition asking that the $43,000 Jon owes him be taken out of Jon's share of the property distribution before it's handed out to Jon. [TMZ]
• Dr. Conrad Murray returned to work today at his Houston clinic for the first time since Michael Jackson's death. [AP]
• The Texas Medical Board is now conducting their own investigation of Dr. Conrad Murray, which was triggered by the ongoing DEA investigation of the doctor. [TMZ]
• Alexandra Forbes Kerry, Senator John Kerry's daughter, won't be prosecuted for DUI because when she was stopped last week, she was under the legal limit. [TMZ]
• A jury found Barry Carpenter, the Ohio police chief accused of breaking into the home of Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate, guilty of receiving stolen property, theft in office and tampering with evidence. He was acquitted on charges of burglary and unauthorized used of property or services. He faces up to 10 years in jail. [AP]
• Michael Barrett, the man accused of secretly filming Erin Andrews in hotel rooms, has pled not guilty to one count of interstate stalking. [Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt gave more than $6 million to charity last year, doubling what they gave in 2007. [Showbiz 411]
• Today on her show, Martha Stewart said there are "some comments that are circulating on the Internet regarding me and Rachael Ray" but, "just for the record there are no bad feelings between us nor have there ever been... I truly believe that Rachael has done a terrific job bringing people, many people who would of never of even stepped into the kitchen or made a dish to cook. I applaud Rachel for her enthusiastic approach to cooking." [CNN]
• In a clip from tomorrow's episode of The Hills, Spencer Pratt says he took Heidi Montag to a sushi restaurant "for a little alcohol test" because he thinks she has purposely ditched her birth control pills, and that's the easiest way to tell if your wife's pregnant. [Us]
• Someone at the L.A. Times read and summarized How to be Famous by Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, so you wouldn't have to: [L.A.T.]
• Candy Spelling has settled with the ex-maid who was suing her for overworking her. A Spelling source says the maid didn't get much, but "Maybe in maid money it's a lot." [TMZ]
• When asked about his relationship with Kate Hudson, A-Rod said, "Life is good I'm happy. We're happy, I have lots to be grateful for." [Radar Online]
• Keith Urban says he hopes his daughter Sunday Rose grows up to be a singer. "She's got some pipes," he says. "I think she sounds quite musical. I sit at the piano with her in the morning and we mash the keys together." [Us]
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson spent the weekend frolicking in New York. They went to a few bars, were spotted making out, and finished the weekend at Megu last last night. "They were with two friends and looked very cozy," says a source. "Both were having a great time." [People]
• Zac Efron says:"My first audition ever was for this Peter Pan live action show when I was 15 and I'd just done the play Peter Pan so I thought 'who could be better'. I showed up and it was on tape in this tiny room. On stage you speak to the back of the room and you project and Peter Pan is very animated and jumping off things and going crazy so that's what I did in the audition, running around and jumping off my chair, singing the lines. This woman interrupted me and goes 'you've never done this before have you?' and I went 'no' and she went 'okay you can go' and that was the worst audition ever, ever in my life. I kind of wept about that one." People]
• Here's Chippendales dancer Nathan Minor's critique of Levi Johnston's Playgirl photos: "The only problem — his hairy armpits! We take only mostly shaved guys. He should also focus on his diet to help him get a bit harder. He doesn't have to go the fitness-y hard look, but he could tighten up a little bit. His body is a little soft. But he has good hair and a great face. He's definitely Chippendales material. Anytime he wants to do the show, he's more than welcome!" [Us]
• Q: "In light of your song 'Baby By Me,' if you could pick a celebrity to be your 'baby mama,' who would it be? 50 Cent: "That would probably be an easier question for someone who isn't a celebrity. I don't know. Maybe I'd have an interracial relationship with Megan Fox... I'll get me some Jada and walk around like I'm Will (laughs). Maybe, who else? I'm not really excited by celebrity because I'm a celebrity. People who have a little bit more normalcy can't understand exactly what it is, but you get accustomed to it and it becomes less interesting." [AP]

For what it's worth, I thought that panelist Chris Jacobs was totally out of line when he essentially told Heidi that she's also to blame for Spencer's incendiary comments because they are married now, and are "one unit."

Clearly, the most contrived storyline is Heidi and Spencer's: it's like an art form of its own at this point, in which the creation of "problems" in their marriage seems to uncover actual problems. For instance: Heidi's baby fever (in the previous clip) is obviously a gimmick, but you can see her getting confused about the blurred lines of reality.

Then there's Jayde Nicole. She's become a celebrity in her own right, making it into gossip columns for her temper and her physical and legal fight with Joe Francis. Last week, she slapped Kristin, which given Jayde's history (and the fact that the cameras catching the drama were hand-held and not set up on a tripod), suggests that the event was from the heart, and not from the minds of producers. This meet-up with Kristin however, was strictly orchestrated. Judge Judy would not approve of going to talk to someone who assaulted you about how you hate them.


I find Jayde to be the best possible addition to this show, as she appears to be a bit unhinged, making her a perfect candidate for reality television. Maybe The Hills will stop being so boring. But who am I kidding? I'd still watch it, even if the entire 30 minutes was spent on JustinBobby picking his toes.

• Last week Lindsay Lohan ran when her ex Courtenay Semel confronted her about rehab. At a party this weekend her friends tried again, but Lindsay, "kept moving from room to room... She was clearly hyped-up on more than just booze."

• During a party at shipping heir Stavros Niarchos' Hollywood home, several of Lindsay's friends tried to get her alone, but source says, "It was impossible to corner her, until a few people tried to - in a bathroom when it was nearly dawn." Around 7 a.m. she spotted her father's close friend David Trent and "immediately bolted." [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Last week Lindsay Lohan showed up to the launch of Pascal Mouawad and Jermaine Dupri's jewelry line at Kitson. She was paid to appear and offered $500 to spend at the store, but bargained for $1,000. Then she "went crazy" pulling out different items and eventually racked up a $15,000 bill. When she was told she'd taken too much she said, "Pascal would take care of it because I'm the only celebrity here," according to a source. But, "Pascal said no, so she went and started talking smack about him to Jermaine Dupri who doesn't even know her." She continued making demands and was eventually she allowed to take $2,000 worth of jewelry. [Fox News]
• Michael Lohan says he's going to sue the person who said he likes to get lap dances from strippers who look like his daughter. "I never said anything about dances with Lindsay," says Lohan, who says he was only at the club planning a bachelor party. "I did not go inside the club where the dancers are, didn't have a dance, and never, ever mentioned anything about my daughter. Nothing happened whatsoever. I just sat there, waiting for the owner of the club to come and talk to me." [Radar Online]
• Despite the rumors that Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri have reconciled, she called him an "ex" in a radio interview, saying, "I'm not the type of girl that stays in touch with your ex like that," however, "Jermaine is one of my best friends... I love him to death. We're still connected. We're still good friends. We still talk." [Us]
• Katherine Jackson's attorney says she's "seriously considering" filing a wrongful death lawsuit against Dr. Conrad Murray. [TMZ]
• Evan Chandler, the father of the boy who accused Michael Jackson of molestation, was found dead earlier this month. Police said, "We have ruled it as suicide because he was found with a gun held to his body and had a single bullet wound to the side of his head. Mr. Chandler was 64." [Radar Online]
• MTV bought the TV rights to Michael Jackson's This Is It. [Variety]
• Swiss officials say a court will decide whether Roman Polanski can be released on bail in two weeks. [The Mirror]
• Aaron Carter owes the government more than $1 million in back taxes, and now that he's been cut from DWTS he doesn't have a steady paycheck. [TMZ]
• Edis Kayalar, the German model who allegedly tried to extort $100,000 from Cindy Crawford has turned himself in to German police. [TMZ]
• In a countersuit, Samuel Levin, the man Nicholas Cage says mismanaged his fortune, claims: "Coppola [Cage] had already squandered tens of millions of dollars... and owed millions of dollars in... income taxes, with no funds available to pay the tax debt." [TMZ]
• ABC News says they don't pay for interviews, but they did admit to paying for the Heene's family's sushi dinner in Manhattan last night. A source at Good Morning America says, "We did not pay for a limo to drive them around the city. We did have a car service (SUV) take the family as they required a bigger car. " [TMZ]
• After Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag's Today show interview was cancelled, Spencer Tweeted about their old foe Al Roker, "WEATHERMAN I thought you were out of town today getting your stomache stapled again?... you look very sick? Do you always look like your about to die? How old are you 97? You should retire asap- No one would even know? ... is it true you have been married 6 times? I'm sure all your wives left you when they realized you were abusive to women! Sicko!" Later Spencer apologized, Tweeting: "Dear WEATHERMAN after speaking with Queen Jones and Queen Lara I'm feeling very regretful for saying HATEFULL tweets towards a good man!!" [Perez Hilton]
• "I don't think Al Roker will be Tweeting me back any time soon," said Spencer Pratt, "He does only have a few thousand followers so it wouldn't even matter what he says." [Extra]
• Lady Gaga is ineligible for the best new artist awards at the Grammys because her song "Just Dance" was nominated last year in the best dance recording category. [N.Y.T.]
• Christina Ricci, who attended Lady Gaga's performance at L.A.'s Museum of Contemporary Art this weekend said, "I don't know about everybody else, but I just love the fact that she's like, 'Yes, this is what I'm wearing, and yes, this is how I'll be performing,'... And anyone who has that sort of self-confidence and the balls to sort of be like, 'I'm a fantastic creature. You'd better love me,' is OK in my book." [MTV]
• Interior designer and Oprah Winfrey regular Nate Berkus as a syndicated daytime TV show in the works. . [Broadcasting Cable]
• Proof that Twilight is a bad influence on kids: A girl was hospitalized after fighting with another girl over the last Robert Pattinson poster at a giveaway in London. [Female First]
• At the L.A. premiere of New Moon Kristen Stewart said being in the spotlight makes her nervous, which raises the question: why pursue acting? "It's a little weird, but it's all because of this .... The focus for us is the focus that [the fans] have, which is the movies," she said. "This is what you work for. Not the attention, but the fact that you can have a common interest." [People]
• Kristen Stewart says, "I get why fans want to know more about the cast as real people and they want us to be together and all of that. I just have to sort of not think about that. People have a hard time separating us from our characters. There's an incredibly large group that spends most of their time absorbed in the lives of people who've gotten some notoriety. It's strange to me. I can't have anything to do with it or else I'd step in and mess it up for myself, I just let it fall by the wayside. It doesn't really affect me." [Parade]
• Robert Pattinson says he's willing to go nude for the right role. "I think it would depend on what it is. And I don't think a lot of people would really want to see that. I think it would ruin the illusion!" he said. [Star]
• Robert Pattinson's handlers made him walk out of a radio interview with Ryan Seacrest just because Ryan asked him if he's dating Kristen Stewart. [TMZ]
• A judge has granted Ryan Seacrest a civil restraining order against Chidi Uzomah, the man accused of stalking him. He has to stay 100 yards from Seacrest. [AP]
• In the Editor's Note from this month's issue of Out Magazine, the editor-in-chief revealed that Adam Lambert's management requested his interview not seem "too gay." Now to back up the claim, the journalist who wrote the story has written a lengthy account of the interview and Lambert's publicist's warning that the the interview shouldn't bee too political or, "you know, gay-gay." [Perez Hilton]
• Adam Lambert says his new album For Your Entertainment is, as the title says, "not for me, it's for the people who are listening to it... We tried to nod to all that glam classic rock while creating a variety of different music. But at the same time I wanted to make music that was really modern and current and poppy too." [Reuters]
• Katy Perry says she was brutally honest when judging American Idol auditions because, "We all have friends or people that we've known that maybe they wanted to be a rock star, or be this or that, and no one ever told them that they can't... Like, 'It's just like you weren't born with pitch, so it's not going to happen and someone needs to tell you that because 15 years later you've wasted all this time and when you could have been a doctor." [The Star]
• The mom of X Factor reject Lucie Jones says she wants to ask Simon Cowell, "Whether he has got anything against the Welsh. Lucie was a strong contestant and he should have said nicer things to her, but he didn't." [The Sun]
• Taylor Swift is doing a line of greeting cards, gift packaging and stationary for American Greetings. Here's hoping one starts with "Imma let you finish...". [Brandweek]
• Randy and Evi Quaid have left their home in Texas and are expected to return to California to face charges over an unpaid $10,000 hotel bill. [Radar Online]
• Will Arnett will guest star on Parks & Recreation as a possible suitor for Amy Poehler's character. [EW]
• Molly Sims, Josh Duhamel's Las Vegas co-star, says the rumors he cheated on Fergie are not true. "I went to the wedding and he's a great guy and he lives by example. Do not believe everything you read," she said. "He is a great man, a great husband and great friend. It's sad because you are talking about a human being and Fergie is a wonderful woman. He is nothing but a good person. [The rumors are] sad, and it's about money." [Fox News]
• Sienna Miller's sister Savannah Miller says of the rumors that Sienna and Jude Law have reunited: "I think that would be a completely ridiculous assumption considering the way that man has conducted himself recently. That's all I'm saying." [The Telegraph]
• Michael Bolton says he's still upset about breaking up with Nicollette Sheridan: "I wouldn't wish a relationship with me on someone. I'm touring so I'm not physically present in one place enough. The worst thing about the end of the relationship (with Sheridan) was losing your best friend in the world and your closest confidante. It's a cliche but I just want Nicollette to be happy. You want the heat, the magic, the connection on every level, but ultimately it's the bond of deepest friendship that's the most powerful aspect to any relationship. That life experience together isn't something you can replace. I can't find that particular type of love again as it was unique." [Daily Express]
• Eddie Izzard says "I was an ambitious kid. It's in all the school reports, 'He really does seem to be a determined little child.' That's my way. I've always felt [the British have] a post-empire view of ambition which is that we tried it but it meant we stole other people's countries – as if there's no other form of ambition. I really hate that." [The Telegraph]
• Wanya Morris of Boyz II Men says they titled their new album Love because, "The title embodies everything that Boyz II Men represents. Every album we have ever done has always had a representation of love." [CNN]
• Last night at the 8th Annual Benefit for the Elton John Foundation Courtney Love bid to win a date with Bill Clinton, but lost. "On Clinton, I was like, 'That might be fun!' I would never bid if I didn't want to," said Love, "But after $120,000, it's like, I don't have a plutonium card." [N.Y. Magazine]
• There's trouble on the set of Cougar Town. A crew member says Courteney Cox is "Very domineering. She gives off this ‘I'm important and you're not' vibe... Courteney makes a huge number of script changes to make her character look good, and she is extremely picky about everything on the show." The source claims she once ranted about her lunch saying, "Everyone knows you are supposed to have equal parts of ham and cheese in a sandwich!'" [Pop Crunch]

• Nicole Richie has obtained a restraining order, preventing two celebrity photographers from coming close to her or her kids.

Nicole claims that one of the snappers trespassed at her home and the photographers often stomp their feet on the ground to try to get a reaction from her. [AP]

• In court, Nicole Richie's lawyer called Joel Madden her husband, but he misspoke; the Nicole and Joel are not married. [TMZ]
• SHOCKER: Robert Pattinson will be People's "Sexiest Man Alive." [OMG Blog]
• Whoa: Oprah has to get a pay cut if she wants to keep doing her show? How will she be able to afford her favorite things?!?! [NY Post]
• Avast me hearties! Johnny Depp has agreed to a $35 million pay deal to be in the fourth Pirates Of The Caribbean film, which makes him the highest-earning actor in Hollywood. That's a lot of dubloons, savvy? [Telegraph]
• Kate Hudson was asked if Alex Rodriguez actually has a painting of himself as a centaur in his house. She dodged the question, sorta, saying "That is the craziest thing anyone has ever asked me." Video at the link. [MTV News]
• Great Scot! Behold: Gerard Butler in a kilt. [Gatecrasher]
• "Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch" suspect Alexis Neiers pled not guilty to breaking into Orlando Bloom's house yesterday. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton's brother Barron got one of the "Burglar Bunch" bounced from a club Saturday night. [Page Six]
• In case you missed it, Sarah Palin called Levi Johnston an aspiring porn star on Oprah. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Oh, and Sarah Palin won't go on Letterman, because: "I don't think that I'd want to boost his ratings." [NY Post]
• Levi Johnston's Playgirl shoot did not include full frontal nudity. [People]
• Anthony Michael Hall's ex-girlfriend has a restraining order against him after he allegedly stalked her and attacked her in her apartment. Farmer Ted's spokesman says: "All of the allegations are erroneous and will be addressed accordingly." [Page Six]
• The Los Angeles City Council would like to get back $3.2 million the city spent on Michael Jackson's memorial service. A spokesman says: "During these tough economic times right now, that's big money. We're laying off, people are getting furloughed...It's still money that we put out for a memorial service for Michael Jackson." [E!]
• Meanwhile, Joe Jackson is claiming that Michael Jackson's name was forged on his will and is trying to get the executors of the will fired. [TMZ]
• Cindy Crawford's alleged blackmailer, Edis Kayalar, has turned himself in at a police station in Stuttgart, Germany. [AP]
• The Today show cancelled Al Roker's interview with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, so, naturally, Spencer Tweeted some rude things about Al. For example: "WEATHERMAN I thought you were out of town today getting your stomache[sic] stapled again?" And: "you look very sick? Do you always look like your[sic] about to die? How old are you 97? You should retire asap- No one would even know?" [Us Magazine]
• A judge in Massachusetts has thrown out a lawsuit accusing Elisabeth Hasselbeck of plagiarism in her book about celiac disease. [AP]
• A paparazzo kept on calling Becki Newton "Kelly Ripa." So Becki rolled with it and did her best Kelly impression. [Page Six]
• Congressman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) thinks Carrie Prejean should have a career in politics. [TMZ]
• No one recognizes Robin Wright Penn with her dark hair. [Gatecrasher]
• Wait: Robin Wright Penn is now Robin Wright. And she was overheard at the screening of her film The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee saying: "This is all about new beginnings for me." [Page Six]
• Lady Gaga's tour without Kanye is already a success, as tickets are selling out super quick. [Gatecrasher]
• Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris will star in TMI, a flick about too much honesty in a relationship. [Variety]
• Anna Faris has also been cast in a romcom called Wedding Bannned, in which she'll play Robin Williams' daughter. The story? "A long-divorced couple kidnap their daughter (Faris) on her wedding day to prevent her from making the same mistakes they did. The parents rekindle their relationship as they elude cops and the angry groom." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• BREAKING: Lindsay Lohan is the top fashion party attendee in New York. [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley threw a birthday party for the guy who wrote New York Minute, aka one of the worst movies I have ever seen. [Page Six]
• Twilight fans in LA are already camped out to see New Moon. [NY Daily News]
• Hey, look, a Britloid published a lie and apologized again! This time they printed erroneous info about Sharon Osbourne. [Daily Express]
• Mary J. Blige says her song for Precious is fairly personal: "I went into the studio and cried hard, reaching back." [Variety]
• Heather Locklear = "drama" and "diva antics" on the set of Melrose Place. There was a button missing on her jacket and she allegedly said: "You've got to be (bleeping) kidding me, right? What kind of operation is this?" Then she stormed off. Allegedly. [MSNBC via the National Enquirer]
• In the piece at the link, Heather Locklear talks about Melrose Place, saying: "I saw the pilot and I wasn't sure, still. But then I saw the second episode and I thought, 'This is really fun, the clothes are great and now they're starting to get into some story lines.' And I went, 'I'm in. If I'm not the one who killed Sydney, I'm in." [LA Times]
• Congrats to Adriana Lima and hubs Marko Jaric, who welcomed a baby girl, Valentina Lima Jaric, in NYC on Sunday. [NY Daily News]
• Tila Tequila has filed a lawsuit against her ex, football player Shawne Merriman. She's using pictures of her bruises as evidence. [TMZ]
• Wow, the CW might bring back Mischa Barton's show The Beautiful Life, even though it was cancelled after two episodes. Tough times? [NY Daily News]
• Tom Waits' daughter painted Hilary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi lying down and embracing each other in their undies?!?! [Page Six]
• RIP Ken Ober, host of MTV's Remote Control. [NY Times]
• "[We're] becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits." — Clint Eastwood, to GQ. [NY Daily News]
• "It is all on Steve. Steve Martin has done this before, while for me it is the first time. All the pressure is on Steve Martin." — Alec Baldwin is not worried about hosting the Oscars. [People]
• "Everyone seems to enjoy it. But I don't think it's that funny." — Kathie Lee Gifford on Kristen Wiig's impersonation of her on SNL. [NY Daily News]
• "[I had ] big boobs because I was breast-feeding; I was perfect for it. I wouldn't get cast now." — Nicole Kidman on her role in Nine. [Gatecrasher]
• "The idea that there has been a sullying of my image ... I'm not going to be buried with an Us Weekly. I don't give a (expletive) about it anymore, I can't worry about it and I don't worry about it. And I don't think people want me to worry about it." — John Mayer is all about the music, you guys. [AP]
• "When you say to a girl, 'I play golf,' her eyes glaze over. I do feel guilty about my golf. You know you're a sad case when you spend your spare time reading books on putting or going on YouTube to watch slow motion golf swings. I'll get out of bed in the middle of the night and practice my swing in front of a mirror. I'm obsessed and it's destroying my life. Golf is an addiction." — Hugh Grant. [Daily Express]
• "You're looking at someone who would get the belt every day. 'Will you shut up, Susan!' - whack! I was often left behind at school because of one thing or another. I was a slow learner… I'm just — I'm a wee bit slower at picking things up than other people. So you get left behind in a system that just wants to rush on, you know? There's nothing worse than another person having power over you by bullying you and you not knowing how to get rid of that thing." — Susan Boyle. [AFP]
• "My whole dating thing, I've been kind of chillin'… I mean, I'm Chris Brown. I'm not saying it like that, but it's just, like, girls are going to be around. I love women. But I would say I've just been chillin'. I haven't really been trying to get into a relationship or trying to date anybody." — Chris Brown. [MSNBC via MTV News]
• "I never planned to write a book. I wasn't planning on a career in writing, I wasn't thinking about stories I wanted to write down. But I had a dream… My husband thought I'd gone crazy. I didn't speak to him for ages because I had all these weird things going on in my head. I wasn't telling him about this vampire obsession because I knew he'd freak out and think I'd lost my mind." — Twilight author Stephenie Meyer. [Daily Express]
• "I finally had a healthy beautiful baby girl and I couldn't look at her. I couldn't hold her and I couldn't sing to her and I couldn't smile at her… All I wanted to do was disappear and die. [I believed] I should not exist. The baby would be better off without me. Life was never going to get better – so I better just go." — Broke Shields discussed her post-partum suicidal thoughts on Monday while receiving an advocacy award from the Hope for Depression Research Foundation in Manhattan. [People]
• "In Vancouver, shooting New Moon, I tried something. They have this thought that no one there wears hoods except for problem people. It's the only city in the world where hoods are not fashionable. It's like if you're wearing a hood you're going to mug people. So it's a boring disguise, but it worked when I wore a hood. And then I'd sort of spit on the ground a little bit and do a little bit of shaking around as you're walking. Everyone moved around to the other side of the street." — Robert Pattinson, on being "in disguise." [Time]

• John Mayer went to a gay club in Palm Springs on Saturday night. According to an eyewitness, a man approached him and "planted a big kiss right on his lips – and John seemed to enjoy it!"

• The whole club cheered, says the source. [Radar Online]
• Farrah Fawcett left $4.5 million to her son Redmond O'Neal in a trust. Her nephew, father, and ex-boyfriend Greg Lott each received $500,000 or less. Ryan O'Neal and her best friend Alana Stewart received nothing. [Star]
• Chris Brown says he isn't ready to date yet. "I've been kinda chillin'," he says. "I mean, I'm Chris Brown. I'm not saying it like that, but it's just, like, girls are gonna be around. I love women. But I would say I've just been chillin'. I haven't really been trying to get into a relationship or trying to date anybody. I've just kinda been working on me. Like I said, just really getting me straight." [People]
• Jon Gosselin's lawyers are demanding that TLC not be allowed to seal his contract with the network in their lawsuit. They claim TLC is "hiding" the contract from the public and said it "will no doubt become a learning tool used in Contract 101 Law School classes as an example of what not to do when drafting an agreement that you want to be enforceable." [Radar Online]
• "I know my haircut takes a lot of flak as far what people call it and whatever," says Kate Gosselin. "But it works for me and I have very thick hair and it's easy and that's what I need." [People]
• Amy Winehouse wants to get a nose job because she says the tip looks "witch like." A source says, "Since her boobs, she's been scrutinising her body. Everyone tells her there's nothing wrong with her nose. But Amy does nothing by halves. Now she's beaten drugs, plastic surgery must not become her next obsession." [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse was admitted to the hospital last night because she had an adverse reaction to cold medicine. "Amy took over-the-counter stuff for a cold but it didn't agree with medication she takes for her on-going recovery. She felt rubbish when she woke on Sunday morning," said a source. "A doctor came to her house and advised her to go to the hospital to make sure she was all right." [Daily Express]
• The jury selection in the trial of Barry P. Carpenter, one of the two men accused of breaking into the home of Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate Michelle Ross, began today. The prosecutor announced that Ross will testify against him. [E!]
• Janet Jackson says she thinks Dr. Conrad Murray is responsible for Michael Jackson's death and shouldn't be allowed to practice medicine. "He was the one that was administering," she said. "I think he is responsible." [ABC News]
• In court today, the mother of Dr. Conrad Murray's son said she'd waive the $13,000 he owes her in child support as long as he pays her $1,003 a month from now on. The judge said he didn't understand why she waived the back pay, but it's her right to do so. [TMZ]
• Vivid Entertainment offered Carrie Prejean millions of dollars to distribute her sex tapes but she turned them down. [TMZ]
• The family of the pilot who died in the South Carolina plane crash that DJ AM and Travis Barker survived settled with the companies that operated and owned the plane for $500,000. [TMZ]
• Carrie Underwood says the rumors that she's moving in with boyfriend Mike Fisher are untrue. "I read something recently that a certain someone and I were moving in together. This is beyond not true...just another example of people making stuff up out of thin air!" she wrote on her blog. [Us]
• Lisa Kudrow says there probably won't be a Friends reunion because "everyone is busy" and the original writers and creators Marta Kauffman and David Crane won't do it. "I guess they don't think it's a good idea," she said. [Us]
• 50 Cent and BET are sponsoring 50's Money For Moms's contest, in which single moms can enter an essay contest to win three prizes of $10,000. Or, as the press release puts it: "Amidst tough economic times, 50 Cent is implementing his own stimulus package, specifically to help single mothers." [UPI]
• Jay-Z, Will Smith, and Jada Pinkett Smith have singed on as producers of the new Broadway musical Fela!. [N.Y.T.]
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz has confirmed that she'll be starring on Broadway in the spring. "I'm honored to be reprising my role as Chicago's Roxie Hart, returning to the stage and joining this amazing cast," she says. "Being on Broadway is a childhood dream come true." [People]
• Ryan Reynolds will perform in the comedy Celebrity Autobiography: In Their Own Words next week. He'll read from Kenny Loggins The Unimaginable Life: Lessons Learned on teh Path of Love. [N.Y. Times]
• Lady Gaga says her performance on Gossip Girl tonight is "a little bit more of a fashion montage... It's very performance art." [People]
• Chace Crawford says of training for his role in the Footloose remake, "I can't get too detailed with it, but it's an all-around training process. It's very intense. But I'm learning exponentially, which is good. I started off in the frustration zone, and now it's gotten to where I enjoy going every day." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Jenna Elfman, who is pregnant with her second child, says, "You know, the main cravings are done with. Now it's just eating in general. I like stuffing food down my face." [People]
• Helen Mirren will receive the Lifetime Achievement award at the Women In Film And Television Awards on December 4. [The Mirror]
• Katie Price is worried that she'll have to eat animal genitalia on I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here."I bet I get to eat a willy. I can't eat a willy!" she said, "I have requested that because I have veneers [on my teeth], if there is anything nice and chewy, I better have a knife and fork - otherwise I won't be able to chew it." [The Sun]
• Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag were supposed to be interviewed by Al Roker again on the Today show this morning, but a rep for the show said, "Due to a change in the show's schedule, we had to cancel the interview with Spencer and Heidi Pratt." [Us]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt say they are pitching their own reality show to networks. They want to do both The Hills and their new show at the same time because, Heidi says, "you don't get to see our everyday lives and what we do." [AP]
• "My plan is to maybe stop taking my birth control," says Heidi Montag in a clip from The HIlls. "Spencer doesn't know how much he wants a family. I think we need a family — and I'll make the call!" [Us]
• German cops temporarily detained Dennis Rodman today because he was accused of bailing on a $5,100 alcohol bill at his hotel room. He thought the hotel was picking up the tab and paid when he was pulled over. [TMZ]
• Penny Marshall addressed the rumors that she's "battling for her life" after being diagnosed with brain cancer and liver tumors saying, "I know... there's all that shit. I'm walking and talking and I'm fine." [Extra]
• "I got sober for good on December 7, 2008," says Jodie Sweetin. "I was flying to L.A., and I ended up taking a bunch of Nyquil and drinking a s—-load. When I got home, I got a call that there was an emergency custody investigation because of my drinking. From that day forward, I threw myself into going to AA and avoided people who do blow off their coffee tables." [Us]
• Jessica Alba wrote an editorial for The Huffington Post about her recent trip to D.C. to campaign for 1GOAL: Education for All. "I believe that 2010 is the year for a breakthrough on global education," wrote Alba, "With the World Cup in Africa and the eyes of the world on the continent, we can connect the energy of this global game with the power of the negotiating table at the world's leading forums like the G20, G8 and UN Millennium Development Goals Summit." [Huffington Post]
• Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman-Palladino says, "I wanted different things for Rory. I wanted her to follow a different sort of path… [go] off on her own adventure, which I guess she sort of did. I haven't [actually] seen the last season, but I heard about it from other people." [EW]
• Reese Witherspoon says, "I like to throw things away. I'm obsessed with garbage." After holidays she'll put some of her trash in her neighbors' cans and says, "I also put on rubber boots if there's too much garbage and I'll stand on the garbage and smash the garbage down... I'm, like, a garbage compactor." [Daily Express]
• Mariah Carey is upset about illegal music downloads. She says: "Frickin' idiots! A lot of big, powerful music industry executives made a giant mistake and now we're all paying the price. They gave the music business away on the internet. If they had just sat back and said, 'Maybe let's figure this internet thing out, it could be something cool,' we could have found a way to distribute music online on our own terms, not somebody else's. Prince had already shown them the way. He was so far ahead of the curve, putting his records out on the web. Everyone else was stupid." [Contact Music]
• Nicole Kidman says she got cast in Nine because she was breast-feeding at the time. "They're not very big, my boobs, so they just became normal size. I loved it!" she said. "I felt very Woman. When you've had a slightly androgynous body your whole life, having breasts is a nice feeling... I wouldn't get cast now." [People]
• In Going Rogue Sarah Palin writes that the line she wanted to say to Alec Baldwin on Saturday Night Live was, "Hey, Baldwin, weren't you supposed to leave the country after the last election?" He has always insisted his line about leaving the country if George W. Bush won was fabricated. His rep says, "It's a complete fallacy. But then, once Palin knew that, after telling her [it wasn't true], she said, ‘Well, let's say it anyway,' like she needed it to be true." [Hollywood Insider]
• In The Private Lives of Pippa Lee Julianne Moore plays a lesbian who commands Blake Lively to receive a spanking. "Julianne is very professional," said Lively. "I thought it was going to be really awkward, but as soon as they called action she snapped into the strongest character-it made it easy for me not to laugh or feel weird." As for wearing a leash, Lively said she felt, "Scared, but kind of enjoyed it." [Style]

• Carrie Prejean admitted to making a sex tape, but there are actually eight tapes and 30 photos. Radar Online reports: "On one tape Carrie is wearing just a flowing white blouse as she touches her body in an alluring manner."

• Most of the pictures are topless and Prejean took them herself in a mirror. In others she's totally nude. [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin's bodyguard Thomas Meinelt has been subpoenaed to testify in TLC's lawsuit against Jon. This could be very bad news for Jon if he wants to maintain custody of his kids. His former lover/babysitter Stephanie Santoro claims, "Tom said people close to Jon put a camera in his hotel room, and paid a girl to flirt with Jon and have sex with him. He also told me that he saw Jon snort cocaine on more than one occasion, and that the more Jon got into partying, the more cocaine he used!" Uh, isn't that usually how it works? [National Enquirer]
• TLC's lawyers are also asking the court for permission to serve Stephanie Santoro with a subpoena. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin's countersuit against TLC claims the network has caused him "to suffer harm to his reputation." [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin's rep says the National Enquirer's claim that Jon made a sex tape and did cocaine are, "truly false... It's sad that people are picking this up." [Us]
• Dina Lohan says Michael Lohan should be thrown in jail for releasing tapes of their phone calls because she has a protection order against him that says he can't call her until 2011. "It's bullshit," says Michael. "I called the house to talk to the kids and she would get on the phone and tell me all this stuff. I couldn't control that. I have all the tapes to prove it." Just to make things worse, he added that Dina would sometimes pick up the phone clearly intoxicated and vent to him about her boyfriend and other problems in her life. [Radar Online]
• Though Rosie O'Donnell only admitted that she and her wife Kelli Carpenter are having relationship problems, today on her Sirius XM radio show she said Kelli actually moved out two years ago. [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson's former manager Dr. Tohme Tohme filed a creditor's claim against Jackson's estate yesterday, saying Michael promised him $2.3 million if he could find a company to save Neverland Ranch from foreclosure last year. [TMZ]
• BREAKING: Jennifer Aniston, who endorses SmartWater, was spotted holding a bottle of Arrowhead water while on vacation in Mexico. [TMZ]
• The former girlfriend of Edis Kayalar, the man accused of trying to blackmail Cindy Crawford, tried to get a restraining order against him. She claimed in a declaration that he, "He asked me to sleep with him at a friend's house, and when I refused he slapped me across my face and punched me 6-7 time (sic) all over body." She never showed up in court so the judge took no action. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and the L.A. Lakers are being sued by the makers of giant monitors they used during their concerts and events that the company says were patented. [TMZ]
• The company that chartered the plane carrying DJ AM that crashed in South Carolina, along with Goodyear Tire, Learjet, and the estates of the two pilots who died, are being sued for wrongful death because, "the crash ultimately caused Adam Goldstein's death." The suit claims DJ AM was forced to take various drugs because of the injuries he suffered. [TMZ]
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz says, "My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady." [Us]
• Nicholas Cage's home was auctioned yesterday and today, movers cleaned it out, removing carpets, boxes, and a giant stained glass window. [TMZ]
• Brandy won't be subjected to a civil trial for her December 2006 car crash. She just settled with the last plaintiffs, the parents of the woman who died in the accident. [TMZ]
• Police noticed Paris Hilton's gate was left open and went up to the house to make sure everything was OK, since the house was recently burglarized. [TMZ]
• Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks have split up. "We're both just really, really busy with our careers, and we spend a lot of time apart from each other – so we're just taking a little break right now," said Hough. [People]
• Hough said there's no heartache. "It's a good thing for us right now," she said. [Us]
• Russell Brand says he's not sorry for leaving lewd messages on actor Andrew Sachs' answering machine last year. "I would've done nothing differently. I apologise for the thing I did wrong to the person I did it to but the whole subsequent scandal was funny, it is funny I think. It's just rhubarb and guff," he says. [The Mirror]
• Stephanie Pratt pled not guilty to DUI today and her lawyer said she'll check into rehab. [TMZ]
• NeNe Leakes says she and Kim Zolciak are "Trying to be peaceful with each other... Kim and I have an up-and-down relationship. Don't be surprised if we have a falling out again. That's just how we are." [People]
• Amanda Peet says she'd like to work with her 2012 co-star John Cusack again in a romantic comedy. "He's brilliant, he's just a brilliant actor, so he can do anything," Peet said, "but I do feel like it would be fun if we could do something that's more comedic since we both love that." [CBS News]
• In Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's new book they say Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt really know how to manipulate the media, but they say they don't want to annoy Brangelina. "We wouldn't want to piss them off. She might steal Spencer-you know, because she steals people's husbands!" says Heidi, "But seriously, we'd love to sit down and discuss fame with them. Consider this your formal invitation, Brangelina. Let's hang out sometime. We'll be SpeidiLina!" [Playboy]
• Speidi also told Playboy that in 2010 they plan to "adopt an African baby, date Vince Vaughn, shave our heads, pretend Spencer is trapped in a balloon and have octuplets." [Us]

• Lindsay Lohan is speaking out about her dad. "I hate him so much," she told Gossip Cop. And:

"My father knows nothing other than how to sell stories for money instead of getting a real job like normal people do, including myself." [MSNBC via Gossip Cop]

• Dina Lohan called TMZ last night and said that Michael Lohan releasing these old phone conversations is "so hurtful" and that for him to use a moment of weakness of his own child is "inconceivable." She also said that all of the calls were before Lindsay went to Cirque Lodge for rehab, and that Lindsay thinks that the whole situation is sad. Dina pointed out that she was a victim of domestic abuse when she was married to Michael, and for her to see him hurting her daughter is "unforgivable." [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, there's new phone recording audio on Radar, courtesy of Michael Lohan. Dina says of Lindsay: "Time is running out with this kid." [Radar Online]
• For the love of blond. WHY? Why is Al Roker going to interview Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt again? As you may recall, Al talked to the two in June — video here — and afterward, Heidi accused him of sexism, when really he was treating them BOTH as vacuous nincompoops. Because they are. Gah. [Us]
• Lou Dobbs quit CNN abruptly last night. [NY Post]
• The Perry-Brands — Katy and Russell — have "secretly" recorded a duet of Edward Lear's 1871 poem The Owl And The Pussycat. Russell's part goes, "'Oh lovely Pussy! Oh Pussy my love, what a beautiful Pussy you are." A "source" says: "They often use the nicknames Owl and Pussycat. Russell is 'Owl' because he's wise and, well, it's fairly obvious that Katy's a sex kitten, isn't it?" [The Sun]
• Carrie Prejean was on Larry King Live last night, and when Larry King asked about her settlement with Miss California USA, she unplugged her mic and threatened to walk off the show. Her haughty self-righteousness makes me want to scream. [TMZ]
• Carrie Prejean's ex-boyfriend says that she called him last week and tried to get him to lie and say she was 17 when she shot her "solo sex tape." Maybe she was hoping it wouldn't get released if she was a minor? In any case, she was 20 when the footage was shot. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin is accusing TLC of violating child labor laws. He also claims that during filming, TLC wouldn't let him take pictures at home… meaning he "could not photograph or record his own family moments and hallmark events in his family's life." [Radar Online]
• Tara Reid has a German internet entrepreneur/billionaire boyfriend, to whom she may or may not be engaged. She is currently wearing a "massive" pink diamond ring and "was overheard" talking about her engagement. The ring is here, and it is indeed a whopper. [Daily telegraph, via E!]
• Mike Tyson has been detained on suspicion of battery after an incident and LAX — involving paparazzi. Few details at the moment, stay tuned. [USA Today]
• Oh wait here we go: Mike Tyson and a photographer made citizen's arrests of one another! The snapper was taking his picture in the terminal, and Mike allegedly punched the guy in the face with one hand, knocking him to the ground. The photographer suffered a laceration to the forehead and went to the hospital; Mike was booked at a nearby LAPD station and then released. He'd been traveling with his wife and 10-month-old baby. His rep says: "Mr. Tyson did absolutely nothing wrong, he was the victim in this case." [People]
• Susan Boyle has a stalker, "a middle-aged American woman who has become obsessed with her." Or maybe she dreamed a dream? [The Sun]
• Taylor Swift was named the Country Music Awards entertainer of the year and won all four awards for which she was nominated. [NY Daily News]
• Meryl Streep to a 9-year-old reporter: "That's the most sophisticated question that anyone in this entire press line has asked me. Really, really good." [Page Six]
• If you are interested in stalking Jared Leto, this list of his favorite places in New York should make the job a lot easier. [BlackBook]
• Ron Livingston and Rosemarie DeWitt were married November 2 in San Francisco. [People]
• Ashley Jensen, aka Christina on Ugly Betty, Maggie on Extras and Olivia on Accidentally On Purpose, has given birth to a son, Francis Jonathan Beesley — whose nickname is "Frankie Jack." [People]
• Eddie Murphy has had a long-term effect on ad agency diversity, and this piece explains how. It's kind of awesome. [Ad Age]
• Back in June, Gene Simmons said that coming out would ruin Adam Lambert's career; now Glambert is calling Gene "obnoxious" and a "hypocrite," adding "He's not the greatest singer. He's a good businessman, I'll give him that." [Gatecrasher via Rolling Stone]
• Joss Whedon's Dollhouse: Cancelled. [NY Daily News]
• Jay Leno's new show has "limp" ratings; David Letterman's ratings remain strong despite his scandal. [NY Daily News]
• The late Dominick Dunne outs himself in his autobiographical novel, which comes out December 15. The main character is "deep in the closet." Earlier this year, Dunne told the Times of London: "I call myself a closeted bisexual celibate… That's just the way I am. At 83, it's too late to start on a new path." [Page Six]
• Rumor has it Marc Christian, the lover of Hollywood icon Rock Hudson, has died of a drug overdose. More info to come, hopefully. [Michael Musto]
• "My grandmother once told me, you should be honest with your kids, but you don't bare your soul to them." — Jon Gosselin. [NY Post]
• "I used to drink an awful lot of coffee, but I was told after the age of 40 you have to be careful with coffee and wine. Apparently, that can be one of the reasons older women get bloated around their stomach… I don't miss having a glass of wine because I've switched to vodka. I don't really like vodka that much but if I'm at a party I have a small one with a lot of fizzy water and a huge squeeze of lime. Initially it's like medicine but I've got used to it now." — Liz Hurley. [Daily Mail]
• "I always said in my life that when it doesn't feel joyous any more, then it will be time to quit. But the joy is getting better and better." — Clarence Clemons, 67, who still tours with Bruce Springsteen and the E street band, though both knees have been replaced and he spent a long time in a wheelchair. He also says: "I'll be 70 years old in a couple of years. I don't know how much energy I'll have left. That energy, I want to spend with my family. [But] I really believe that this is something that is going to go on forever. When I say `retiring,' I don't mean `stop playing music.'" [AP]
• "At school when a teacher asked me a question I would almost pass out. I was terrible and I still can be. It overwhelms me. I can be having dinner with people and I find I can't say a word. So being an actress is kind of masochistic." — French bombshell Eva Green is super shy and hates being the center of attention. [Daily Express]
• "I was at a movie and a woman was whispering to a man the entire time what was going on-like 'Oh, he's walking through the door now, look, he's doing this, he's doing that.' And I got so mad that as they were rolling credits, I turned around and said, 'Thank you for the ongoing commentary.' And the guy said, 'I'm blind!' and I said, 'Well, then, sit in the back.' My friend who I was with was mortified. I don't know where that came from — my Sue Sylvester came streaming out. I'm telling a blind woman she can't sit up here with the rest of us who can see." — Jane Lynch. [Double X]
• "Everybody bitches about everything." — Stephen King, on the Internet. [Page Six]

• Some people were offended by the jokes Alex Borstein made about Marlee Matlin's speaking voice on Sunday's Family Guy special. She says, "It was sick. It was twisted. It was rude... and I was glad to be part of it."

• "People love [Seth MacFarlane's] stuff. They don't pay him the big bucks for nothing," Matlin wrote in an email. "I want to do it again and BE the voice. BTW, it only would've been offensive if I hadn't laughed and I loved that you couldn't quite figure out if I was seriously angry at Alex or not!" [Hollywood Insider]
• Jon Voight says he and Angelina Jolie have reconciled. "We're in touch, but not regularly," he says. "We love each other and that's the most important thing." [Us]
• "Amy Winehouse is addicted to table tennis." [Mirror]
• John Travolta, who recently started playing tennis, says, "I play at midnight... Kind of vampire style." [People]
• The Twilight kids are on the cover of Entertainment Weekly this week and in the mag Taylor Lautner says, "Jacob and Bella are so open, and they can tell each other everything. So it was very important for me and Kristen to grow very close before doing this." [Just Jared]
• "The highlight of playing Jane [in New Moon]was getting to wear the costume and the red contact lenses and to play an evil character," says Dakota Fanning. "I think red eyes make everyone look very evil." [L.A.T.]
• If you want to watch Robert Pattinson talk about his facial hair, check out this video: [Pop Sugar]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have written a book called How To Be Famous: Our Guide to Looking the Part, Playing the Press and Becoming a Tabloid Fixture. [Ok]
• In the video at the link, Robert Halderman's lawyer explains that he wasn't trying to blackmail David Letterman, he was just giving him the right of first refusal on his screenplay. [TMZ]
• David Letterman's lawyer says he's "absolutely" ready to testify against Robert Halderman and is "fully prepared to see this case through to the end." [CBS News]
• Sad news: Though Celine Dion announced she was pregnant this summer, it was a misdiagnosis. Her husband Rene Angelil said, "We're living the reality of the majority of couples who face these procreation techniques." [Us]
• Sources say TLC's lawyers are watching all of Jon Gosselin's TV appearances so they can run a tab on how much money he's making since he allegedly violated his contract with the network. [TMZ]
• Shanna Moakler says she's "looking forward to seeing" Carrie Prejean's sex tape. [TMZ]
• Last night Susan Boyle sang on DWTS and got to meet her idol, Donny Osmond. "It is quite something to be in Hollywood," she explains. "This is a world I've never seen before and never dreamt that I would get to see," said Boyle, who added that Hollywood is, "Nothing a woman like me was used to. I have found Americans to be incredibly warm and friendly and very open." [People]
• Susan Boyle says after she became famous, "There were phone calls 24 hours a day. They kept me awake for three weeks, until I changed my number. It was constant... "It got to the stage where I couldn't even go outside because the media - American television crews, too - surrounded the house... Everything had built up, and I was exhausted. You have to understand, my life ceased to be normal." [Show Biz Spy]
• Joey Lawrence and his wife Chandie Yawn-Nelson are expecting their second child. [Us]
• Mickey Rourke says after his divorce from Carre Otis, "I don't want to live with an actress again, no matter how they look. I'm working opposite Megan Fox and Eva Green next, and I'm certainly not complaining. But I'll tell you, once bitten..." [Daily Express]
• Though Steven Tyler played with Aerosmith on Tuesday, Joe Perry says he still doesn't know if that means he's staying in the band. "I was totally surprised. I had no idea he was going to show up," said Perry. "All I know is we walked off stage and were sitting taking our break [before] the encore and there was a bunch of commotion and I looked up and Steven was there." [People]
• Halle Berry says she decided to get involved with Jenesse Center, a L.A. domestic violence shelter, because, "My mother was a battered woman and that was my childhood for a good chunk of it... I care, I really care about these women and children." [Us]
• John Cusack on being called an "everyman": "I've been called worse, but I'm not the best person to ask about that. I think it's a compliment if it's sort of a leading-man type compliment. You get the audience to sympathize with you ... it's kind of a cool thing to be an 'everyman' I guess." [BlackBook Magazine]
• Ian McKellen says sometimes gay actors ask him for advice about coming out and he says, "When I act, some people fancy me and some of them are women. There we are! What's the problem? They don't believe me when I say I am in love with a woman?...They don't believe me when I say I am a wizard? They believe me even though they know I am not. It's all nonsense. Everyone knows we are acting." [Reuters]
• Tori Amos says she did a lot of research before recording her holiday album Midwinter Graces because, "In order to make this kind of record and to have it work, I needed to know what the carol writers were doing, then you need to know the theology of where it came from in order to change it. I did change it in making it more inclusive rather than exclusive. Because some of these lyrics were written, it was in a very puritanical time. Women had no rights, they couldn't vote. Some of the music would've been fifteenth century." [N.Y. Magazine]
• You can stop holding your breath — Pamela Anderson says she'll never rekindle her romance with Tommy Lee again. "You can't get heartbroken any more over all the disappointments or how he is as a father or anything like that. He doesn't think he's doing anything wrong. I do tell him the truth, but it's been 10 years of suffering over him so I'm over it," she says. "Whatever it is, it is - as long as my kids are happy and we're happy and we're safe, let him run around the world. I support him." [New]
• Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones has been very openly dating much younger women for over a year, but his wife Jo Wood just filed divorce papers accusing him of adultery. [TMZ]
• "I definitely keep myself secret," says Leona Lewis. "I went on a show watched by millions of people, so this might sound ridiculous, but I had no desire to be famous, and I still don't. I have this media persona – "She's a shy girl, really nice" – but you can't get to know someone like that. Unless you talk to me every day, you're not really going get a sense of me." [The Telegraph]
• James Franco says he doesn't think he can study in Columbia University's Butler Library anymore. He explains: "Last night I went in, I went into the restroom and this guy was in there and he's mumbling like, 'You're James Franco, right?' I'm like, 'Yeah, how's it going?' Basically, he said he was annoyed with me that I came to the library and that there are girls in the library. He didn't express himself. I think what he meant was that he thought I came to the library to meet young girls and he said it wasn't fair. And I tried to apologize for any disruption my presence had, but he was still annoyed. So I left and I went to the writing building, which is a little more private, but I have to sit there alone in the dark." [Gothamist]
• Jason Schwartzman, whose mom is Talia Shire, said, "I think it's an amazing thing that two words like 'Yo, Adrian' have been so unforgotten. People yell it out when you achieve something, or you've spent a lot of energy and you accomplish something. You yell it out like, 'I did it!' Growing up a lot of kids didn't know my mom [Talia Shire] was in Rocky. And we'd go to P.E. class and we'd have to go jogging; everyone would run up stairs and all the kids would yell it out. They didn't even know my mom was in the movie. It made me feel kind of awkward but also kind of so happy." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Hip-hop artists are "completely gay-friendly. Are you kidding me? Look at how they dress!" said Fergie. "Kanye West really did a great thing for hip-hop and made it very mixed and open." [MTV]

[Los Angeles, October 31. Image via WENN.]

• Miuccia Prada: "I'm working on [a men's collection] right now and someone at the office worriedly asked me, ‘You're not going to make short skirts again, are you?' So I'm now pushing it even further, just for revenge!" [BlackBook]

• Leigh Lezark, on diversity: "I'm glad that a lot of kids — even now with the magazines that have come out — have something different to look up to. Not a tall, five-foot-ten blonde model, whatever...They can also look up to some faggots and a girl. I think it's great, because I wish I'd had that, and I never did." [The Cut]
• Reports that Hills villain Heidi Montag was launching a perfume with the Home Shopping Network have been denied by the network. HSN — which has recently announced deals with Naeem Khan and Badgley Mischka — was thought to be seeking a more exclusive audience, and the collaboration did seem a tad odd in that light. Now we'll never find out who would choose to smell like silicone, self tanner, and Spencer! [The Cut]
• In other fragrant news, Jude Law is the new face of Dior's men's scent, Sport. [Telegraph]
• Yesterday, to promote their new line for JC Penney, the Olsens — and the Olsens' JC Penney branded cupcake truck — went to Union Square. Although no cupcakes were in evidence, onlookers could browse the Olsenboye debut line, and even buy things for $10. (Racked says the clothes are more High School Musical than Elizabeth & James.) Today, should you be curious and New York-bound, the truck will be in Herald Square, and tomorrow, in Washington Square Park. [Racked]
• Kate Moss is happy with that Topshop line and those million-dollar cosmetics contracts, sure, but when it comes down to it, you know, she's just a mum. Reports the Guardian: " 'If I can keep people interested in my work for another few years I'll be happy. But the thing I'm always most proud of is my daughter. She's seven now, and vice captain of her class! My goodness!' Moss opens her mascara-ed eyes as wide as they'll go. 'I've never been vice captain of anything! She wants to be a chef, and her imaginary husband is a chef too. I was mother of the bride at their imaginary wedding, standing on the side holding her imaginary baby.' " [Guardian]
• Naomi Campbell told a charity event that the situation facing models of color is an "injustice." Said the supermodel, "Nelson Mandela always told me to speak my mind and the consequences will take care of themselves...There is a small group of people whose minds we have to change because we are living in a multicultural society." Maybe there are a few things Campbell could do — or not do — too. [WWD]
• Thakoon Panichgul, who was raised in Omaha, says he always wanted to be in fashion, but that his seamstress mother and grandmother didn't see how he could make a career out of something they understood as just "work." Luckily for Michelle Obama, he started going to Parsons at night, after completing business school. [Fashionista]
• Sonia Rykiel's lingerie collection for H&M will be launched with a party at the Grand Palais, where Chanel typically holds its shows. The line will be released in 1,500 H&M stores worldwide on December 5. [WWD]
• Cindy Crawford says she has no plans to make a return to the catwalk. "I don't want to stand next to a 20-year-old on the runway, even if people say you can still do it. It is like, 'Why would I do that to myself?' It would just make me depressed," said the supermodel. "I'm more comfortable with myself in the sense that hey, this is who I am now...I guess I appreciate my body for other things — like I was able to give birth to two kids. ... But at the same time, I am aware my body doesn't look the same way it did when I was 23. I actually don't want to feel that pressure." [Stylelist]
• Sarah Murdoch, a model married to media heir Lachlan Murdoch, appeared on the cover of an Australian tabloid without retouching. She has wrinkles and looks amazing. [News.com.au]
• The Escada sale certainly is shrouded in mystery. The bankrupt German house is understood to be entertaining unbinding offers from six would-be buyers, but nobody is prepared to own up to being one. One person from the company that owns Italy's La Rinescente and France's Printemps department stores spoke on the record, but denied acting in anything more than an advisory role. He declined to say whom he was advising. A deal is expected in early November. [WWD]
• Topshop, buoyed by the successful opening of its New York store, wants to open stores in Paris and Milan. And China. [Telegraph]
• The Limited's pop-up store in SoHo has been so popular with Manhattanites that the company has extended its lease — till December 28. [WWD]
• Company-wide, The Limited — which also owns Bath & Body Works and Victoria's Secret — has adjusted its forecast for the quarter. Although it says October same-store sales are going to be worse than they had originally predicted, the company still thinks it may break even. [Reuters]
• Marc Ecko, whose troubled and indebted company has been closing stores, is said to be considering selling to or partnering with Iconix. Although last month Ecko said, " We would never give up control of the intellectual property in Ecko. We've built this company up over 16 years," sources say that a deal with Iconix is about to be signed. [WWD]