• Jennifer Aniston talked to Entertainment Weekly about the tabloid reports that she's knocked up with John Mayer's baby: "Oh my God, it's hysterical. It's almost going to take away the fun from actually being able to say one day, 'I'm pregnant!' Stop stealing my thunder, motherfuckers!" Plus: She wasn't thrilled that Vogue used that "What Angelina did was very uncool" coverline: "I was just surprised that Vogue would go so tabloid. I was bummed. But you almost expect it. Big deal. Done. Next." [Yahoo News via E!]
• More from the EW cover story with Aniston: ''Everyone projects their thoughts on you. Everyone's got an opinion. I wish they didn't. I've gotten to the point where, if I focus on all of that stuff, I won't make a move, you know?" [EW]
• The prosecutor in the William Balfour trial alleges that the accused killed Jennifer Hudson's relatives because he was angry that his estranged wife was dating another man. Balfour has a long rap sheet full of drug offenses and car theft. A person from the neighborhood says: "He was always doing crazy [things], trying to carjack people." [USA Today, AP]
• As part of his Benjamin Button promotional obligations, Brad Pitt spoke to Larry King and talked about his mustache (it's for that Quentin Tarantino flick he's shooting right now), his kids ("Whenever they want to take over, we're ready"), and Barack Obama: "I think, overnight, we redefined what America's about. I couldn't be any happier and more hopeful for the — for America, for the upcoming — in the upcoming years." [CNN]

• Here's the entire Brad Pitt/Larry King transcript. It's interesting when Brad says, "I got to spend a few decades being idiotic and hell-bent and solipsistic, and everything else… I got time to get all that out of my system." And Larry asks, "You mean there was a wild Brad Pitt?" And Brad says: "I mean, wild in my book, yes. Yes, sure. I got away with a lot, Larry." [CNN]
• Madonna is taking Alex Rodriguez on tour with her in Brazil. Taking sand to the beach? [The Sun]
• It's good to be Oprah! She's taking her show to D.C. for the inauguration and has rented out the Opera House at the Kennedy Center to film her talk show the week of Jan. 20. "That's the place to be," she says, which means it is irrefutably true. [Time]
• Barbra Streisand is headed to D.C. for the Kennedy Center's Annual Honors gala on Sunday. Also being honored: Morgan Freeman, country star George Jones, The Who's Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey and choreographer Twyla Tharp. [Page Six]
• This report claims that Amy Winehouse gave her husband Blake Fielder-Civil a "farewell bonk" in the hospital before he went to jail. Apparently Blake "dashed" to Amy's bedside after failing his drug test, told her how sexy she looked, and, a source says, "It was obvious what went on." In a hospital bed. Then he zipped up his pants and went back to jail. [The Sun]
• A college class about Amy Winehouse?!? The singer's life is a music course at the University of the West of Scotland. Professor Allan Dumbreck says: "Amy Winehouse is a great example of the potential pitfalls in the music industry. She is recognised as a multi-award-winning great artist. But the by-product of that lifestyle can be stress and illness. We would look at how the industry is often not a supporter of longevity." [Telegraph]
• If you want to see Britney's "Circus" video, click away. What you'll see: Britney using her own damn perfume; people dancing in a circus ring; Brit and couple of lions yawning at each other. Christina Aguilera's circus-themed video was better. Also, does anyone really believe Britney is the "ring leader" of her show? [Pop Sugar]
• Britney "seemingly had no close friends on hand as she blew out her birthday candles" the other night in New York. Sniff. [Page Six]
• Another source says birthday girl Brit was "so out of it." [Rush & Molloy]
• Why did Kevin Federline talk to People about Britney? One source says: "He doesn’t do anything unless there is a financial motive behind it, period. There’s a fee connected to everything he does." Another source claims: "He’s been hounded for more than a year about telling his side of things. He’s just tossing a little out there in a place he trusts so that he can move on." Move on to what? [MSNBC Scoop]
• By the by, Britney's first husband, Jason Alexander, is in jail. [Star]
• Does Heidi Klum want Britney to be on Project Runway? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ooh, so as seen in Midweek Madness, Star claims that Jamie Lynn Spears had lipo while pregnant, but JLS is so angry about this "100% NOT true" story that she might sue. [TMZ]
• We should have seen this coming: Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen has a band. [Page Six]
• Balthazar Getty thinks Sienna Miller has been unfairly portrayed as a villain: "You can’t just point your finger at one person. Historically, women always get the short end of the stick." [The Sun]
• Katy Perry made a plaster cast of her boobs, so if you want to buy her rack, head over to the auction. It's for charity. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Kim Kardashian posed for Playboy once, and she might do it again! "Lately I have steered away from the sexier shoots, but it doesn't mean I'm afraid to be sexy or ashamed of that. I have no regrets." [People]
• Heidi Montag's mom on Heidi and Spencer's marriage: "I give it six months." [MSNBC]
• The Grammys will be handed out February 8 in L.A. Click for a complete list of the nominations: Lil Wayne got 8; Coldplay has 7; Jay-Z, Kanye West and Ne-Yo each scored six. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Dark Knight fans have casting picks for director Christopher Nolan: Johnny Depp as the Riddler and Angelina Jolie as Harley Quinn. [PR Newswire]
• Did Kathie Lee Gifford steal the idea for her "Everyone Has A Story" segment on the Today show from a musician who pitched the concept last year? [TMZ]
• Did you know that when Haley Joel Osment was busted for DUI at age 18, he vowed to stop drinking until he turned 21? He only has about four months to go. [Daily Express]
• Mark Ruffalo's brother was shot in the back of the head at his Beverly Hills home in an "execution-style" attack, but is clinging to life. [NY Post]
• Will Paris Hilton land the role of Tinker Bell in the Disney live-action movie??? [Page Six]
• Anne Heche is expecting her first child with boyfriend James Tupper. She just got over a custody battle with ex Coley Laffoon, over their 6-year-old son, Homer. [E!]
• Mark your calendars: March 12 will be the last episode of ER, ever. [LA Times]
• Hilary Swank will star in Resident, a thriller in which a doctor moves into a Brooklyn loft and becomes suspicious that her landlord is a stalker. [Variety]
• Magical Elves, the producers formerly behind Project Runway have moved on: The next project? A reality show about The Hills PR queen Kelly Cutrone, which would "showcase the nitty-gritty side of fashion publicity." Honestly? That woman is a character. This could be a hit. [Page Six]
• Simon Cowell was spotted hanging out with an ex-girlfriend, Jackie St. Claire. That's a name right out of a trashy novel, no? [Perez Hilton]
• Former Destiny's Child singer Kelly Rowland is big in Europe, according to an email that seems to have been sent out by someone trying to promote Kelly Rowland. [MollyGood]
• Katie "Jordan" Price says Dwight Yorke, the football player who fathered her son, Harvey, hasn't seen his kid in a year. Harvey is is partially blind and has a growth disorder; Jordan says: "I know Dwight's got another child now and he's focused on that one… I couldn't give a fuck about his girlfriend, or him, but I think he should take care of his son." [Perez Hilton]
• Phil Collins' 19-year-old daughter Lily is stunning! [Daily Mail]
• Jewelry formerly owned and worn by Hollywood screen legend Deborah Kerr: Up for auction! Her three-stone diamond engagement ring is pretty, sigh. [The Star]
• Sadie Frost is wearing underwear and stockings in an exhibition of photos, yawn. [The Sun]
• Tori Amos has a new record deal, with Universal: Her 10th album should be out in late spring 2009. [Yahoo News]
• Tim Robbins has fired CAA. Matthew Broderick and Greg Kinnear may leave CAA next. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Dear Hollywood, Why would you remake Romancing The Stone? Why? [Hollywood Reporter]
• "I think Sienna [Miller] might have been [treated unfairly]… It takes two to tango, man. You can't just point your finger at one person. Historically, women always get the short end of the stick….they're [Rosetta and Sienna] both very special people in my life." — Balthazar Getty. [Perez Hilton]
• "I just finished a couple of episodes, and I'll go back in the new year and do another one of those, and then we'll see what happens." — Jon Hamm, on playing Liz Lemon's love interest on 30 Rock. [AP]
• "I wasn't going to give up who I was before I had the baby. It's important to stay true to that as an example — also for my son to find out what his goals are, what he's passionate about doing, so it's sort of leading by example in that sense. It's a tough thing. I had a moment leaving him today to get ready for tonight of missing him, but every working mom goes through it. They know what it feels like." — Christina Aguilera, on the "balancing act" of parenthood and career. [AP]
• "Initially, I was very worried it would be difficult to concentrate [on the sex]. But Leo was fine with it, which relaxed me. And I never sensed Sam feeling awkward. Quite the opposite. He'd yell from the other room: 'Press your hand into her back more! And when you take her face, really grab it!' Maybe if it had been anyone else but Leo, it would have been weird. But we're not really like grownups. We're like two little boys." — Kate Winslet, on shooting Revolutionary Road, directed by her husband, Sam Mendes, and co-starring Leonardo DiCaprio. [Rush & Molloy]
• "Well, the pictures for W, you know, it's a really strange feeling. It's something Angie and I had to talk a lot about, especially with the birth of Shiloh. You know, these pictures were going to come out — these pictures are — you know, I'm talking about the pictures of the kids. There's a bounty on our heads. And these pictures are going to come out at some point. And they're going to be chasing us, and they're going to — they're going to go to the ends of the earth to get these photos. And we just thought, well, maybe we could — since there's such a bounty, and that bounty is so obnoxious, we could take that money and funnel it to something good. And that's what we decided to do. It's still a bit uncomfortable to do such a thing, but I know it's right in the end. And that was a decision we made. The W photos were just — we just didn't want to leave the house, so we just figured we'd do it ourselves, and had a good time doing it." — Brad Pitt. [CNN]

• K-Fed is opening up about his marriage to Britney in this week's People. " I never thought that I would get married but it wound up happening. That was a really, really, happy, exciting moment. I pretty much realized that I was giving my life to her, and I was doing it without question," the Fed says. [People]
• Are Kelly Ripa and longtime hubs Mark Consuelos dunzo? The National Enquirer says that the pair is separating. However, it is impossible to tell if Ripa is shedding silent invisible tears under that relentlessly perky facade. [Jossip]
• And get this: Ripa's rep denies all! The flack says, "There is no truth to the story. Their marriage continues to be quite healthy, and the National Enquirer should be ashamed for fabricating such an untruthful story." Isn't that what Madge's rep said six months ago? [People]
• Mark Ruffalo's brother, hairstylist Scott, was shot in the head in Beverly Hills earlier this week. He is in critical condition. [ET Online]

• James Franco is on the cover of this month's BlackBook wearing a leather jacket. He looks totally James Dean and not at all Jason Priestley. [Blackbook]
• Lance Bass thinks Britney is ready for a comeback, but adds, "I don't think she needs any advice from me." We concur! [People]
• Celine Dion was on CBS this morning, dishing about her frozen embryo. "Yes, we do have a frozen embryo," said the plucky French Canadian. "We'd love to extend the family," she continued. "I started to talk to Rene Charles about it. He said 'Can we have four and five?' So if we're blessed again, I will be very happy to come back and do another interview with you and talk about it. I will be the first one to be extremely happy." [CBS News]
• A-Rod will allegedly accompany Madonna on her trip to Brazil later this month for two performances in Rio. They're definitely Madariguez south of the equator. [Perez]
• So, Boy George is on trial for assaulting a male escort, and his lawyers are arguing that George was "too fat" to have perpetrated that crime. Could this case get any more tawdry? [Daily Mail]
• Bea Arthur will be inducted into the Television Hall of Fame on December 9th. I'm sure she'll thank us for being her friends, pals, confidantes, etc. [AP]
• The Gossip Girl producers loved Ed Westwick from the moment he read for the part of Chuck Bass. However, the network was not so pleased. "But he looks like a serial killer!" they protested. Lucky for us the producers won out. Also: the fictional GG kids will go to college next year in the show. [NYM]
• Speidi's wedding rings are literally the ugliest effing things we've ever seen. [TMZ]
• Pete Wentz says baby Bronx was a "happy accident." He tells Details, "I think that certain things happen for a reason in your life, and maybe it was time to put the wild child in a cage." [People]

• Before Blake and Amy had even hit puberty, Whitney and Bobby were acting completely bonkers in public all the time. And it sounds like the gruesome twosome is back together again!! They've been spotted on romantic dinners and their daughter is allegedly itching for them to reconnect. Resist, Whitney, resist! [TMZ]
  
• Joaquin Phoenix is filming a documentary to "showcase his transition from acting to music." More importantly, last night he was hanging out with Casey Affleck and Ryan Gosling, creating a triumverate of hotness. [People]
• Perez Hilton continues to be totally outraged about the fact that the Speidi wedding was a mere publicity stunt for Us and probably not legal. "The mag was very well aware of the wedding laws in Mexico for foreigners and they failed to even report if Speidi obtained a marriage license or not," he says. In other news, Perez is really angry that water is wet. [Perez]

• But don't worry, you'll be able to see extensive footage of the fake nuptials on The Hills, since the cameras were there to capture the entire heartfelt, intensely private ceremony. [People]
• Spencer continues to insist that the ceremony was 100% real. “We’ve never been happier. And, like other elopements that happen outside the country, we’ll take care of the legal details when we get home," he tells the AP. [AP via Just Jared]
• In other shocking Hills news, Whitney Port has a new vlog and it's spectacularly boring. [NY Mag]
• Ewan McGregor is selling one of his vintage motorcycles on Ebay to raise money for Unicef. "I collected this bike from the Moto Guzzi factory in Italy and rode it back to London and I've loved riding it ever since. Whoever wins this bike will not be disappointed," he says. Does he come with the bike? We would not be disappointed about that.
• Habitual rehab visitor Scott Weiland says he isn't completely clean. "I still drink, I'm not perfect ... you know?" [ TMZ]
• Hugh Jackman will play magician Harry Houdini in an as-yet-unnamed Broadway musical. We already knew he was a magician because he has us in a trance. Zing! [Perez]
• "I'm just blessed to have two very lovely children in my life, and health. It's something people don't think about a lot. I'm very lucky to be healthy and have healthy kids," says Reese Witherspoon. To read about what other celebs are thankful for, click here. [AP]
• Speaking of Reese, Ms. Witherspoon says she'd like to guest star on 30 Rock. "I love Tina [Fey]," Reese gushes, "and I think she does such a great job, and she really understands comedy for women." [A Socialite's Life]

• Did Ellen DeGeneres try to trick Mariah Carey into admitting she's pregnant? Mariah was a guest on Ellen's show, and after Ellen asked and got a vague response, she busted out the champagne, saying, "You don't have to answer that. Let's just toast with champagne." Mariah got flustered and said, "I can't believe you did this to me, Ellen," and pretended to sip the bubbly. Knocked up? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Someone's not pregnant: Sarah Jessica Parker in the Sex And The City sequel. Carrie won't be having a kid. "It doesn't seem as if that's going to be a choice she'll make… Michael (Patrick King, director) and I never talk about it. That doesn't mean that won't be part of the story. We just haven't figured it out. It feels a little bit manipulative to toss that into the mix, because she seems so pointed in a different direction." [Daily Express]
• Kanye West and hot hot model Sessilee Lopez: Is it on? [The Sun]
• Madonna has hired a specialist to help her "exorcise the memories" of her ex-husband, Guy Ritchie, from her home. The technique seems to involve throwing shit away. [Mirror]
• Madonna and A-Rod are in Miami together right now, having just landed in a private jet. [TMZ]

• What's this? Even though his ex, Cynthia, claimed Rodriguez would be spending Thanksgiving with Madonna, a source says A-Rod "has been in Florida for days" and "always had every intention of spending the holiday" there with his ex-wife and daughters? [People]
• In other news, Madonna's brother is going to direct a "teen thriller" called Twist. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Britney Spears wants to go back on the road again. She and her conservators have asked the court to allow her to go on a U.S. tour next year: She'd need to make deals with backup singers, roadies, venues, ticket brokers, etc., but legally can't make any of the deals herself. [TMZ]
• Britney will be in New York next week — her album drops Tuesday, so she's hitting Good Morning America, but it's also her 27th birthday. So she'll also have a "very private circus-themed" birthday party that night. Waiting for our invitation! [Page Six]
• The chick from The Rules is offering dating advice to Jennifer Aniston. Says Sherrie Schneider, who co-wrote the infamous dating manual with Ellen Fein: "Never mention Brad's or John Mayer's name in public. Also, don't say anything bad about John, like when you said he was missing a sensitivity chip. Never talk about Angelina or call her 'uncool', even if she was uncool. She does not exist in your world. You are going to be 40 soon. You have no time to waste if you want kids." What's that eyeroll emoticon again? [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Lily Allen and Agyness Deyn got strip searched when they went to Dubai. Lily says: "I knew I didn’t have anything on me so I wasn’t worried. I wasn’t paranoid, just terrified." Agyness agrees: "It was really traumatic. It wasn’t the best experience in the world, but it is their culture and you just have to respect it." [The Sun]
• Ivanka Trump sure is fueling those rumors she might get engaged to boyfriend Jared Kushner — she's guest blogging for Brides.com the first week of December, writing about her style and her jewelry line. [WWD]
• Model Jessica Stam is dating Austin Cregg, the son of '80s pop music icon Huey Lewis. He's facing jail time for marijuana possession and scrawling graffiti. [Page Six]
• An upcoming Law & Order episode will have a young male "supermodel" die in a way that is eerily similar to the way Heath Ledger did. [Page Six]
• Ricki Lake is on Match.com. Go Ricki! [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Oh no, Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem might be on the rocks: They'd agreed to take a break from movies for a year, then he took a part in a film. She wanted to adopt a baby from India because she "admires Angelina Jolie." [ONTD]
• Pete Wentz freaked out when his wife, Ashlee was about to give birth: "Right before she went into labor, I was like, 'Oh, my god, I think I'm having a heart attack,'" he says. "My heart started beating real fast. You see your wife is in all this pain. And I don't know what's happening right now. She took care of me and made sure I was okay and then went into labor. That's why she's a saint." [People]
• For the second day in a row, a story about how Reese Witherspoon totally got along with Vince Vaughn while shooting Four Christmases. "Vince is the funniest person I've ever worked with. It was a challenge for me to stay there and keep up with him." The lady doth protest too much? [Yahoo News]
• Natalie Portman doesn't understand celibacy. [Page Six]
• Roger Friedman on The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: "Innovative, creative, technologically advanced… [Brad Pitt] is Gollum from Lord of the Rings meeting Robert Redford, with a better wardrobe." [Fox 411]
• Rachael Ray's Christmas will be a silent night: "I'm having voice surgery on Dec. 16, so we're going to celebrate very quietly," she says. [People]
• Are Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal's parents broke? [Page Six]
• Audrina Patridge on Heidi and Spencer's elopement: "I am surprised and not surprised at the same time." Haha, because you know that they're contractually obligated to make headlines for Us magazine? She also says: "I do think it's very romantic that they eloped." [People]
• Uh-oh, director John Waters is being sued for adding "Santa Claus is a Black Man" to his Christmas album without permission. [Daily Express]
• Tragic: You know how Kanye West's mom died after plastic surgery? Her nephew, a registered nurse, was supervising her post-surgery care and may have left her bedside to attend a baby shower — he's being investigated. [People]
• Village Voice reporter Michael Musto hit the Milk premiere party, where Marc Jacobs told him he cried and shook his leg emotionally through the whole movie. "I'm for anything gay," the designer said. "The world would be a better place if everyone was gay." "Look, around," Musto urged. "They are!" Meanwhile, Carson Kressley said: "I'm lactose-intolerant, but I loved Milk." [Village Voice]
• TMZ the TV show: Renewed. [Yahoo News]
• File under news you can't use: Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre sunbathe naked; Peter has a "brown willy." [Perez Hilton]
• Carson Daly has a girlfriend? And she's pregnant? [ONTD]
• U2, Jay-Z, Coldplay and R.E.M. are among the bands contributing music to (RED)WIRE, a new download service aligned with Bono’s (PRODUCT)RED campaign. [Rolling Stone]
• Don't know much about country singer Chuck Wicks, but he is "very much in love" with Dancing With The Stars' Julianne Hough, so that's nice. [People]
• Mel Gibson, what hast thou done? A Superior Court Judge wants you to explain why a screenwriter claims he was screwed out of $10 million from the 2004 megahit The Passion Of The Christ [Yahoo News via E!]
• TV chef Gordon Ramsay has made a "groveling apology" to his wife after admitting to meeting his mistress four times. [Daily Mail]
• "There's always someone telling you not to make a movie. When I did Born on the Fourth of July, they said, 'This is going to ruin your career. What are you doing?' Suicide? I’ve committed it. There were people who didn’t want me to make Top Gun. [My character], Stauffenberg, went from saying, 'Someone should shoot that bastard' to realizing, I’m the only one who can do it. You can’t really know until you're under that kind of pressure. I'm not saying this in some chest-pounding way, but I do feel I'd have that kind of courage." — Tom Cruise, defending his Nazi movie, Valkyrie, in Details. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "We came up with the idea Bronx. We've been throwing [ideas] back and forth a while. It's kind of cool to just leave the narrative what it is. People are stoked or pissed or whatever. And you're like, you know what: I don't think anyone really has the real story." — Pete Wentz on why he named his kid Bronx Mowgli. [People]

• Aww, lookit: BritBrit on the cover of Rolling Stone, looking healthy and happy. She says: "I feel like an old person now. I do! I go to bed at, like, 9:30 every night, and I don't go out or anything." Oh! But Britney did go on a date recently, and took her assistant and a manager's friend with her. "Right when we got there, we just knew it was just bad," she says. "He looked like an older version of Harry Potter, but skinnier. So I had to get dessert first." Plus! Her kids "are starting to learn words like 'stupid,' and Preston says the f-word now sometimes. He doesn't get it from us. He must get it from his daddy." [ONTD, USA Today, The Sun]
• With good news must come bad: Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital after screaming fight with Blake Formerly Incarcerated. [The Sun]
• Why is Kate Moss all scratched up and bruised? [Daily Mail]
• Click to see Lindsay Lohan sneak vodka into her drink: Caught on camera! [The.Life Flies]

• The Boy George trial has begun! A Norwegian male escort claims he was chained to the wall and beaten by the former Culture Club singer. The court heard about sex toys, leather straps, cocaine: The usual. [Daily Mail, BBC News]
• In his first interview since the plane crash, Travis Barker explains why he has filed a lawsuit: "If something goes wrong that's not supposed to go wrong or you fall victim of it, I think you should be compensated." [Perez Hilton, People]
• Shanna Moakler's been hanging out with Travis Barker lately — and she's been wearing her wedding ring. [TMZ]
• Spencer and Heidi didn't just elope: They got married on November 20. They were able to keep the wedding secret until this week. The ceremony was held on the beach in Mexico, and it wasn't planned. There were no family members present and it took about 15 minutes. [Perez Hilton]
• Spencer's wedding vows: "Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person…" Oy. [Perez Hilton]
• Heidi "couldn't stop crying" after saying her vows. [MSBC]
• Uh-oh, Heidi didn't tell her dad about marrying Spencer. "I would be upset if she got married and didn't invite me!" Bill Montag says. [People]
• Look for all the wedding pictures in Us magazine. More in Midweek Madness today! [Perez Hilton]
• Nicole Kidman is psyched her daughter, Sunday Rose, is "born and bred" in Nashville. "I hope she has a Southern accent." [People, Sydney Morning Herald]
• Number one on E!'s "Top 10 Sexiest Women" list? Belly-button-less icon, Karolina Kurkova. Number 2 is Bar Rafaeli, and Angelina Jolie is a mere third. Scarlett Johansson is chopped liver. [Mirror]
• Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance: Daddy-to-be! His wife Lindsey is expecting a child in summer 2009. A tiny nü-goth emo kid? [NY Times]
• Madonna: "I'm sad about my personal life, but I feel very blessed and very lucky that I have the opportunity to do what I do in my professional life. It would be horrible if I was just thinking about getting a divorce and had nothing to do." Lord, imagine if she had nothing to do??? [AP]
• In an e-mail, A-Rod's soon-to-be-ex-wife, Cynthia, writes: "My 6-foot-3, 220-pound, soul-less, soon-to-be ex-husband is abandoning his kids on Thanksgiving to be with Madonna. She called and he ran on her command back to New York City… Gross!" A source says: "Alex likes a woman with a strong hand. He likes to be told what to do. He's a bit of a cipher." [Page Six]
• Tom Cruise admits that his past erratic behavior was maybe not endearing. "There are things that I could have done better," he says. I was surprised at the criticism but it brought everyone closer together: Katie’s entire family and my family." Also, he says: We’ll have more children, I’m saying this, but Kate’s not here!" On Suri: "She’s happy and fun. She’ll just wave to people in the street." [Mirror]
• Oh, plus: "I have to say some of those paparazzi shots of my daughter are incredible," Tom says. Agreed! These snaps of Suri eating a cupcake are brain-exploding cuteness. [Daily Mail]
• Joel Madden is "thrilled" his friends Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz have a kid. "They are going to be great parents. They both have really big hearts." [People]
• Evan Rachel Wood and Joseph Gordon Levitt: It's on. [Perez Hilton]
• Reese Witherspoon says she doesn't know why there are rumors that she didn't get along with Vince Vaughn while shooting Four Christmases… not that we ever heard those rumors. She says: "We're very good friends and very much partners on this movie. We decided to produce it together and we re-wrote the script together and every day was like: 'How are we going to do this?' 'What are we going to do now?'" Related: The flick looks shitty. [UPI]
• Celebrities blog. [Reuters]
• Simon Cowell and his ex, Terri Seymour, talk five times a day? [The Star]
• Oh and Terri denies that Simon paid her off after they broke up: "I was horrified when I read that he’s supposed to have given me $10m or whatever. I was like, ‘Why?’ I’ve worked myself since I was 12 years old. I’ve always been very independent and I’m lucky that I still work like I do." [Mirror]
• Jude Law and Sadie Frost ran into each other at a party, but kept a frosty distance, heh. [The Sun]
• Julianne Hough: Looking to be a pop star now that she's hung up her Dancing shoes. [People]
• Speaking of Dancing With The Stars, Joey Fatone talks shit about the contestants: "Kim Kardashian, ugh, she has no personality at all. It was painful to watch. Lance Bass can't point his toe for shit… he had to have two Red Bulls before doing the jive." [Page Six]
• America's Next Top Model is thisclose to getting renewed for a 13th cycle. [Yahoo News]
• Is Paris Hilton in denial about her breakup with Benji Madden? "Right now we’re just taking a break,” she told Life & Style magazine. "We both love each other very much, and we’ll see what happens in the future. My work schedule is out of control, so it’s hard for us to have time for each other. It’s going to be really hard being alone during the holidays, but I’m lucky to have a great family." [MSNBC]
• Paris, who was dumped via voicemail earlier this month, talked about how much she loves Benji on Ryan Seacrest's radio show. She should have dedicated a song to him, old-skool steez. [Mirror]
• Everyone is over Paris anyway, she was booed at a club in Hollywood this weekend. [Page Six]
• Cloris Leachman talks about her health: She's got asthma, but it turned into pneumonia maybe, or bronchitis, but now she says, "I'm better than I've been in years." [ET]
• Kevin Spacey was given a special theater award for rejuvenating one of London's best-loved play houses, the Old Vic. [Telegraph]
• Chinese people are angry that Guns N' Roses called their album Chinese Democracy. [ABC News]
• Jason Lee and Ceren Alkac: Married. Back in July. Guess it was a secret. And they have a baby girl, born in August, and they haven't released her name, but we can only hope it's as, uh, unique as Lee's son's name, Pilot Inspektor. [People]
• Boston Legal: Case closed. As in, show cancelled. [UPI]
• Paul McCartney spills on his new relationship! "I just like being in love," he says. Yawn. [People]
• Legendary producer David Foster says working with Paul McCartney was "a little like being on a bad date. Ten bad dates, maybe." [Rush & Molloy]
• The new show on A&E, Steven Seagal: Lawman, will follow the actor as he fights crime in Louisiana. Did you know he was a police officer??? [Daily Express]
• Bryant Gumbel's 29-year-old son Bradley was arrested for an alleged DUI last week. [TMZ]
• The guy shot dead to the Hollywood Scientology Center had made prior threats, and less than a month ago he was arrested somewhere for swinging an ax at an Auto Club employee who was bringing him gas for his car. [LA Times]
• George Takei's husband is wondering why George hasn't been wearing his wedding ring while on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here: "I can't tell if George is wearing his and that worries me. Maybe he doesn't want it covered in grime," Brad Altman frets. [Mirror]
• Robin Gibb of the Bee Gees had a standoff with security guards and missed his flight after refusing to let security staff search his bag. What do you think was in there? [Mirror]
• James Jagger — son of Mick, with Jerry Hall as his mother — has landed his first film role. The 23-year-old is playing Alessandro Grimani, a pupil, in a biopic of the composer Vivaldi. [Telegraph]
• After she crashed her car and killed a woman two years ago, Brandy was super depressed. "There was a point when I didn't feel like it was OK to live on, because someone else lost their life," she says. "I really didn't know what to do. I was in limbo for a long time. I didn't go outside for months." [Page Six]
• Rapper Nas feels relevant because his album has a song called "Black President" on it. [Rolling Stone]
• RIP screenwriter John Michael Hayes (nominated for Academy Awards for Hitchcock's Rear Window and for Peyton Place), dead at age 89. [AP]
• "Some of the women who became my friends while I was incarcerated have visited with me. There are some very interesting women there of great value to society, and I keep in contact with them. We have some broken systems in this country - one is the prison system." — Martha Stewart. [Page Six]
• "People want to know what Van Damme is. I'm a mass-audience guy. When I go to Russia or Brazil, the people all come en masse, because I'm a guy from the people who made me famous, not the papers or the studios." — Jean-Claude Van Damme. [USA Today]
• "The way I see it is that Peaches [Geldof] is a very lost, sad little girl. And at one point I was like that, so I don’t want to judge. Instead of everyone picking on her, they should try to help. It’s all a bit sad to be honest with you. f she loves him then good for her, but if it was done for attention, it’s a bit sad. I did stuff like that when I was 19 as well, like get a tattoo because it pissed my mum off. It’s just a great big cry for help. Maybe all she needs is a hug." — Kelly Osbourne. [The Sun]
• "I think there is too much of it. You can't turn on the telly without somebody being judged by four people, whether they are on ice, or on the stage or in the jungle. I'm not very keen on it. I watch it — like everybody. It's compulsive viewing but so is a traffic accident. It doesn't encourage creativity." — Paul McCartney, on reality TV. [Telegraph]
• "Beyonce is great, so lovely and down to earth and talented. She’s definitely inspiring. I might go into acting like her if the right thing comes along, like a small movie part. I’m working on my clothing line." — Leona Lewis. [The Sun]
• "Actually I'm not in the tabloids anymore. I am sometimes, but I've watched the culture change. I'm old hat. And I love it. You know what it is with me? This is something I'd like to clarify. I've heard people say, 'Because you hide, it makes you seem ungrateful.' The mere fact that these - I'll use the word piles - are earning money from exploiting my image is the only reason I hide myself or am not a photo-friendly person. I do not like the way they conduct themselves. I think they're disrespectful and dangerous. The reason I don't pose or smile or that I seem mad is that I don't want them to make a living off my private life." — Leonardo DiCaprio on "boycotting" the paparazzi. [Daily Express]

According to the Times — and now the Pratts — elopement is back in a big way, the inevitable backlash to the age of the bridezilla and an obvious solution to the economic climate. Says one wedding planner, “Many young people are conscious about not wasting money and concerned about the expense for friends and family.” Of course, the celeb elopement is nothing new — Britney, anyone? Peaches? — and has always been a fitting bookend to the general impermanence of such arrangements. (Not like the big weddings are so stable.) But the confluence is certainly curious.

Interestingly enough, alongside the elopement trend pieces come a spate on "post-nuptial depression." According to the daily Mail:

The expectations of newlyweds are so high, and married life is such a let-down after all the planning and the excitement of the big day that an increasing number of brides are suffering from post-nuptial depression, say American doctors. In fact, the feel-good factor fades so fast that up to 10 per cent of America’s 2.3million couples who marry every year - that’s 230,000 couples - suffer strong enough remorse, sadness or frustration to make them seek professional counselling, said California therapists.

In addition, the fact that a lot of couples cohabitate pre-wedding makes them think they know what it'll be like, and the reality of such a big step can still come as a shock. While the experts speculate that a lot of this letdown comes from unrealistic expectations, at least part of it arises from the inevitable lack of excitement post-festivity when a huge wedding - rather than marriage - has been a goal for a year or more. Writes Jeninne Lee-St. John in Time, "The problem may be that after months consumed by wedding preparations and feeling like the center of attention, the sudden shift back to everyday life can be a shock. 'I put a lot of time and effort into the wedding planning process,' says Erin Hastings, 28, who got married in 2006 after an 18-month engagement. 'Where do you redirect your energy once it's over?'"

In this regard, the elopement trend seems like a very wholesome response to the prevailing wedding pressures —even if its increasing acceptability just serves to make those going whole-hog feel less pressured. Big weddings aren't going anywhere — they bring a lot of people pleasure and are regarded as a necessity by many, even in hard times — but the pressure to have one is definitely abating. And if anyone was going to go whole-hog, wouldn't you think it would be Heidi and Spencer? Whether their elopement indicates a trend has jumped the shark or whether they're in the long line of celeb impulse marriages remains to be seen. But we'd recommend they brace themselves for what've come to be called "The Wedding Blues."

Spencer & Heidi Got Married!!!!!!!!!!! [Perez Hilton]
Like Romeo and Juliet, With a Happier Ever After [NY Times]
Huge Increase In 'Post-Nuptial Depression' As Newlyweds Turn To Therapists For Help With Bridal Blues [Daily Mail]
Postnuptial Depression: What Happens The Day After [Time]

[Los Angeles, November 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Blake Lively's being sued by a Brooklyn tailor who did $500 worth of alterations on her Teen Choice Awards frock. While the Gossip Girl star was apparently "extremely kind" during the fitting, she's yet to pay up. Now Blake's people say the tailor screwed up the dress and they're only willing to pay half. Sounds like a job for Judge Judy! [TMZ]
• Heidi's peeps are saying Heidiwood wasn't discontinued; rather, the contract was only for one year! "We just felt that the one year was a great year for both of us, and we're looking into other options...We really found that we want to explore … what style really means to our girl … and that doesn't necessarily mean a celebrity brand. It really means fashion and comfort, and we can really accomplish that with our own brand." [New York Mag]
• LiLo walks in sorta-sis-in-law Charlotte Ronson's Japan show. [New York Mag]

• Obama's favorite Hartmax suit has become a bestseller. Being six feet plus helps, fellas. [UPI]
• Vivienne Westwood's son the erotic photographer staged that protest "featuring bound-and-gagged models in fetish clothing" at the House of Commons. It has to do with protecting extreme pornography. [VogueUK]
• APC introduces awesome denim recycling: trade in an old pair of the pricey raw denim, and get half off a new one. They'll fix up the old ones and sell them to those who want "re-worked" jeans. [BlackBook]
• What to get the dictator who has everything? The new $154 bullet-proof pocket handkerchief! [UPI]
• Tommy Hilfiger goes ever higher-end; sells exclusively to department stores. [Business Week]
• Gucci "spy scandal?" Well, they're being investigated. [WWD]
• Apparently traditional wedding gowns are so 20th century. Now spendthrift brides are doing three changes per wedding, celeb-style! [New York Post]
• Payless brings it with lines by Lela Rose, Alice + Olivia. [Dallas Morning News]
• The online look book for H&M's Comme des Garcons line makes it look waaay more wearable than the initial high fashion approach! [Racked]
• In this economy, who doesn't want to sepnd thousands of pounds on a photo of Gisele in a war bonnet? [VogueUK]
• Mia Farrow auctions a bunch of outfits from A Dandy In Aspic to help the children of Darfur. Guess they don't rate Rosemary's Baby. [WWD]
• Fashion bigwigs meet in London for "Susatainable Fashion" summit. The extremely vague objective? To "articulate beauty, style beyond fashion, a new definition of luxury, considered design and a revolutionary and hence more sustainable approach to fashion." [ElleUK]
• Maison Moschino, the fashion house's new boutique hotel, has bedspreads that look like they were made from Snuffalufagus' pelt. [Dazed Digital]

• National tragedy: Heidiwood, Heidi Montag's fashion line, has apparently been discontinued! [Oh No They Didn't]
• Diddy buys Enyce from Liz Claiborne. [WWD]
• Karl Lagerfeld's interview with the Olsen twins is possibly the most awesome thing ever. The Kaiser dishes on his hatred of male models, tall women, men's opinions, and marriage! "Today you can have a baby first. If you want. I never liked the idea of a family at all. If it's a woman — it's more fun for a woman." [New York Mag]
• $700 mink Ric Owens stuffed bunny. You can put your keys in it. And it has "a mean face." [Fashionista]

• "Versatile classics" are the big sellers right now. [WWD]
• Another charming common touch piece from Cathy Horyn: "On Sunday afternoon I received a call from the Barneys women’s buying office saying my black Balenciaga dress was in. It was heartening to know in these difficult times that somebody wanted to make a sale." [NY Times]
• Having already beaten the candidates' neckwear into the ground, let's turn to their financial advisors! "Obama's man, Austan Goolsbee, wore a blue silk necktie with a subtle "neat" pattern—which on closer inspection turned out to be the phrase "Obama '08" repeated multiple times, like a subliminal message. His opponent, McCain adviser Douglas Holtz-Eakin, wore a conservative, law-and-order number: red with small white stars." [US News]
• Bond girls wear rad clothes. This premise serves an excuse for this reporter to try on all their outfits. [Telegraph]
• WWD takes full credit for Rodarte's breakout. [WWD]
• And speaking of Rodarte, the Mulleavy sisters are selling some of their archive online. [BlackBook]
• Although 50% of British women are size 16 and above, German designer Anna Scholz is the only one making high-end plus-sized clothes. "The problem is that other ranges want big women to apologise. It's always about disguising and concealing, never about celebrating. I don't understand it. Why would anyone want to wear a breast minimiser?”[Times Online]
• The Delhi Commission of Women seeks to ban a new film which they feel cruelly exploits the trials of the thinly-disguised model protagonist. [Hindustan Times]
• Zappos bans fur from its site, earning PETA's approval. [PETA]
• Apparently Zara's fall catalogue is good. [Fabsugar]
• Australian swimwear designer wrongly targeted in drug sting. [News.co.au]
• ABC cuts wardrobe budget for Desperate Housewives. [ MSNBC]
• Barneys gets all political, decorating the store with presidential portraits. Coolidge always gets me in a shopping mood! [WWD]
• There's some way you can win a clutch at Anya Hindmarch. It sounds like a raffle but it has something to do with Halloween. [VogueUK]

• Even though AMC has "formally exercised" its option for a third season of Mad Men, Producer Lionsgate and network AMC not only have no contract with series creator Matthew Weiner, they have not made deals with the cast, either! What will become of Don Draper? [Fox 411, Variety]
• Oh, Mad Men star John Slattery was overheard trashing other actors while having dinner in New York: "De Niro's a jerk!" he said. And! "I was thinking about doing something with [Al Pacino], but I was told to run - not walk - away from him, he's so unbearable." [Rush & Molloy]
• Angelina Jolie plans to adopt another Ethiopian baby in the New Year, to "bond" with daughter Zahara. [Mirror]
• John Mayer is winning Jennifer Aniston back with "soppy texts." A source says "He has even written a song about their time together and played it to Jennifer who, naturally, was incredibly touched." [Mirror]

• Speaking of texts, Paris Hilton has been texting Prince William after meeting him in a club. She invited him to a club opening in Las Vegas; he declined but is "up for a few drinks" the next time she's in town. [Mirror]
• Sam Ronson bought Lindsay Lohan a "£15,000 Ferrari red diamond encrusted Tiret," which is, apparently, a watch. [Mirror]
• Uh-oh, Sam and Lindsay had a fight on an Acela train to Washington! LL was "whining incessantly." When Lindsay would get up, Samantha would sigh and put her sweatshirt hood back up. Oh, and at some point, Lindsay said to Sam: "Don't fucking lie to me!" [Page Six]
• David Duchovny's 28-year-old Hungarian tennis coach, Edit Pakay, was asked if she'd had an affair with Duchovny. She answered: "I don't want to say anything that might hurt David. I am not going to deny it. I don't know what our relationship means to him." [Daily Mail]
• Ooh, Harper's Bazaar editor Glenda Bailey liked Kenley's designs best on Project Runway and thinks it's a shame she didn't win! Also, the post calls Leanne the "viewer favorite," even though the "fan favorite" was Korto, hello? [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate Olsen and some friends ate at a restaurant in NYC and left a big tip — as well as a wad of chewing gum — on the table. [Page Six]
• Madonna's divorce case will claim that Guy Ritchie was cruel and verbally abusive to her. A source says: "She is alleging he would tell her that she really should give up the live touring and that she 'looked like a granny' compared to the nubile youngsters dancing with her on stage." [Daily Mail, NY Post]
• Seems like Madonna and A-Rod were getting together when his wife was seven months pregnant. He had this apartment he never told his wife about, and Madonna would meet him there. [Fox 411]
• David Banda's biological father, Yohane Banda, says if he had known Madonna had plans to divorce Ritchie, he never would have agreed to let the celebrity couple adopt his 3-year-old son. [UPI, Times Of London]
• Madonna's publicist, Liz Rosenberg, notorious for lying, says the divorce settlement has not been finalized. [AP]
• Guy Ritchie's dad says it was "horrid" to read about Madge calling his son an "emotional retard" in front of fans. [The Sun]
• Madonna says Guy was "against" the adoption of David Banda. [The Sun]
• Um, this report says that Madonna wants to have a natural child with A-Rod. A friend says: "She thinks he's physically a great specimen. And if she is going to have another child, he would be the ideal man to bring one to her." Gah. [Daily Mail]
• Madonna might not move to NYC after all; the kids are in school in London and she doesn't want to interfere with that. [Mirror]
• This report says Madonna thinks Guy is a gold-digger, and that the kids are home-schooled and go on the road with her. [The Sun]
• A source says of the Madonna/Guy split: "She’s got a team of Kabbalah advisers who guide her through her spiritual decisions. If they say something is justified, then she feels comfortable going ahead and doing it. It’s only going to get worse (the public jabs) if Kabbalah greenlights it. Expect ugliness of epic proportions." [MSNBC]
• Guy Ritchie maybe told friends that making love to Madonna was like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle." [Daily Mail]
• Nicole Richie is the happiest she's ever been. "Parenthood is easier than I thought. Everybody was saying, before giving birth, sleep now because you'll never sleep with a baby but she sleeps 12 hours a day and I'm sleeping, too. She's the sweetest little angel." [The Sun]
• The Lost Madonna Tapes. Early songs. [The Daily Beast]
• Russell Simmons has a "bunch of money" tied up in a Lehman Brothers fund in London, but he says: "I don't worry about it. I have lots of staff members; I want to make sure everyone keeps getting fed." He does worry about the five charities he heads. "I’m not going to cut down on them so I can have another ride on a private plane." [NY Mag]
• So the son of the Beckhams' housekeepers, who's being held in an eBay investigation, used to dress up in Beckham's suits. [Mirror]
• Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady: Getting hitched? They are planning a wedding reception at Tavern On The Green in NYC. [Page Six]
• Victoria Beckham arrived in Madrid and asked that her suite have "only white colors" in it. White candles and white roses. No word on whether she only let white people in. [Page Six]
• Tom Cruise was seen posing on the streets of New York with Suri Cruise. Walking slowly, stopping at the car with the door open, just letting the paparazzi get pictures. "Exploiting" his daughter? Or making sure the photogs get what they want so they don't jostle and follow the car? [Perez Hilton]
• At a listening party, rapper Q-Tip was asked if he really dated Nicole Kidman. He said: "Yes, I did. So what?" [LA Times]
• Sean Penn is visiting Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez. Again. The actor accompanied the President during the inspection of a natural gas pipeline on Sunday. [Yahoo News]
• Heidi Montag's ex-boyfriend, Jordan Eubanks, says: "Since dating Spencer [Pratt], Heidi's whole mentality has changed—everything has changed. She's done a total 180, and I think it's so sad." Plus! There's a pic of him with Heidi and she's got her old nose and boobs. [E!]
• Chris Martin was being interviewed and talking about how Gwyneth told him he could only leave her if it was for one of the chicks in Girls Aloud. He told her that she could leave for Irish singers Westlife. The interviewer said, "You could have at least told her Brad Pitt." To which Martin replied, "She was engaged to him, you fucker." Then Martin punched the guy and called him a "cunt." [Jossip]
• Chris Martin says he was "just fooling around" when he punched the reporter. [Rush & Molloy]
• Don Cornelius of Soul Train was arrested over the weekend on suspicion of domestic violence. [AP]
• Katie Price, aka Jordan, has walked out on husband Peter Andre. She's on the cover of the UK version of OK!. [Perez Hilton]
• Actor Gale Harold, of Desperate Housewives and Queer As Folk, was in a serious motorcycle accident last week. He had swelling on the brain and a fractured shoulder but is expected to recover. [Star]
• Oi! Amy Winehouse and David Beckham have the UK's "most hated celebrity accents." [The Star]
• Eminem's new book includes thoughts about the 2006 shooting death of his close friend and fellow D12 rapper Proof: "I have never felt so much pain in my life. It was tough for me to even get out of bed, and I had days when I couldn't walk, let alone write a rhyme." [People]
• Andy Dick has been ordered by a court to wear an alcohol-monitoring bracelet for one year. Think he can last that long? [UPI]
• Ali Larter had an engagement party over the weekend. [People]
• Morgan Freeman has agreed to help kick off the first Blues at Moon Music Festival at Mississippi's Golden Moon Hotel and Casino in Choctaw, MS. [UPI]