Yesterday afternoon Chris Brown wrecked his Porsche after being chased down by the rabid paparazzi on the way to a charity event, according to the Beverly Hills Police Department. Brown's PR rep (#2 most thankless job after "professional human shit shoveler") explained how it happened:
Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag Are Doomsday Preppers, Spent Their…
Just when I think I can't hate-love Original Kings of Comedy Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag any more, they go and do something un-fuck-withable such as believing in crystals or giving all their stuff away because of the Mayan Calendar. ARE YOU GUYS LOVABLE BUFFOONS OR GODDAMN COMEDY MEGAMINDS!? Not only can I not tell, …
Serial Dater John Mayer Lurches Over To Allison Williams
Despite Katy Perry's best efforts, one cannot domesticate the Wild Striped Douchebag, and John Mayer is no exception. Like the Countess Elizabeth Báthory, best remembered for bathing in the blood of virgins to retain her youth, it was only a matter of time before Mayer found the latest zeitgeisty female It-person and…
Rumor Has It the Father of Jodie Foster’s Kids Was Gay Casting Director
One of the criticisms of Jodie Foster's already legendary Golden Globes speech was the idea of expounding a need for personal privacy on, you know, a nationally broadcast awards show. Its detractors could have predicted this next turn of events, which, of course, is a resurgence in tabloid stories about Foster,…
Harry Styles Dumped Taylor Swift Because She's an Asexual Antiques…
A probably fake, albeit hilarious new report has emerged that Harry Styles dumped Taylor Swift because she's "asexual" and "constantly talked about antiques." A rather Regina George-y sounding friend of Taylor's says that America's Unicorn Sweetheart doesn't realize that she's constantly being dumped because she's a "prude"…
Kristen Stewart Celebrated the Final Twilight Movie With a See-Through …
Guten morgen! At a premiere for Twilight Saga: The Last One, Right? God I Hope They're Not Lying About That, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson gazed into each others' eyes and "flashed modest smiles." She was wearing a lacy dress and her underwear was totes showing. Deuces. [Celebuzz]
Odd Future's Frank Ocean Reveals His First Love Was A Man
In December of 2011, when Frank Ocean, R&B singer and member of hip-hop collective Odd Future, was on a plane from New Orleans to L.A. he wrote a document in text-edit that he has now published on his tumblr which reveals him to be bisexual. The summer that Ocean was 19, he fell in love with his closest friend, a boy of …
Wow, That Was Fast—Savannah Guthrie Taking Over for Ann Curry Tomorrow …
Well Ann Curry's lukewarm butt-heat hasn't even begun to dissipate, but her replacement has already been announced: the Today Show's chipper-but-mellow-and-quite-good-humored-and-I-don't-really-know-much-about-her third-hour news lady Savannah Guthrie. "NBC sources tell us, Savannah will be anchoring with Matt Lauer…
How is Heidi Montag Like Jesus?
Heidi Montag has had been broadcast living her daily life on television for several years, photographed innumerable times by celebrity gossip rags, and mocked repeatedly for her attempt at pop music stardom. Now, some of her more extreme fameballing is garnering her comparisons to another famous person suspected of…
