Newsweek.com's major crime seems to be allowing loose women to speak. These ladies of the evening include porn star Sasha Grey (pictured above), whose views on the Mark Sanford scandal have forever soiled Lopez's brain — she writes, "what's shocking is that I even know her opinion on the woman, on the situation, on politicians and their wives, and that she thinks we should all openly have something extra on the side." Also scandalously allowed to have an opinion is former madam Heidi Fleiss. Never mind that Newsweek tapped her to talk about escorts, a subject she presumably knows a lot about — according to Lopez, she's still gross.

But not as gross as a gay guy talking about sex. The final exhibit in Lopez's case against Newsweek is "crude sex columnist" Dan Savage, who mentioned blow jobs in a piece on Larry Craig (Lopez renders this as "b*** j**" — presumably so her readers' eyeballs don't explode). Savage is actually making a pretty conservative point — he writes, "It annoys people like me - openly gay men - when the Craig incident is described as a ‘gay sex scandal,' as if his actions in the toilet that day tell you something about gay men. Openly gay people - gay men with integrity - have boyfriends and husbands." But of course, gay sex is dirty, whether it takes place in an airport bathroom or a marital bed.

It's kind of hilarious that, given what's available on the Internet (though this too is a taboo topic for Lopez), she would single out Newsweek as "all about sex - perverse and paid for." What's not so funny is the message she articulates — that people who have sex she deems unacceptable shouldn't get to speak in the national media. It's especially strange that she doesn't really criticize Mark Sanford or Eliot Spitzer — just the porn star and madam who mistakenly thought they were allowed to talk about them. Of course, Sanford and Spitzer came in for their fair share of vitriol, but Lopez's piece reminds us who are the enduring enemies of the right's traditional-values squad: women, gays, and anybody they can dismiss with a claim of "perversity."

Sex Sells [National Review Online]

• The new single from a singer named Lola is actually a track by Jennifer Lopez.

The song, titled "Fresh out the Oven," features Pitbull and is something La Lopez did "for the streets." [NY Daily News]

• Mary-Kate Olsen could have played a socialite teen vampire on TV, except the CW failed to pick up the show Blue Bloods, based on the book by Melissa de la Cruz. [Gatecrasher]
• Ellen Page will produce and write an HBO comedy called Stitch N' Bitch with Alia Shawkat and Sean Tillman. "The show follows two painfully cool hipster girls as they relocate from Brooklyn's Williamsburg neighborhood to Los Angeles' Silver Lake enclave in hopes of becoming artists — of any kind." [Reuters]
• The Russell Brand/Katy Perry romance is heating up: He texted her a love poem; she replied with a topless photo of herself. [Page Six]
• An Australian variety show has apologized for a skit involving singers parodying the Jackson Five and performing in blackface. Harry Connick Jr., who was a judge on the show, called the skit "disgusting." [AP]
• Carla Bruni claims she is in a never-ending "beauty contest" with the spouses of other world leaders; and considers Michelle Obama and Princess Letizia of Spain her rivals. [NY Daily News]
• All Hail Barbra Streisand, who beat Mariah Carey on the Billboard chart. [Ny Daily News]
• An "insider" tells the National Enquirer that Mackenzie Phillips worked as a "jet-setting call girl" in her late 20s — when she was pregnant with her son Shane. [Daily Express]
• Madonna's buying Jesus Luz a £1.7 million apartment; she's not ready to move him into the house with her four kids, but she's looking for something in walking distance of her Upper East Side townhouse. [Telegraph]
• Conan O'Brien and Newark Mayor Cory Booker have been feuding over the last two weeks, but Booker is ready to "bury the hatchet." In a written statement, O'Brien said he may not be ready to abandon Newark as a joke topic: "I want to again reiterate, I have only the highest respect for Mayor Cory Booker and the city of Newark, New Jersey — one of America's oldest, greatest, and most enduring punchlines." [CNN]
• R. Kelly has revealed that he suffers from illiteracy. "When I was trying to make it out here, I already knew, and I was stubborn about it," he says. "I don't even read really and I'm not afraid to say that. My cousins and brothers used to tease me 'you can't even read right. How you think you're going to come up?' The only reason I graduated from grammar school is because I had a great jump shot. I went to high school and [my teacher] told me 'you will one of the greatest writers of all time.' I believed. You [have to] believe it. You can't believe [anything] if you're hating. You can't achieve [anything] if you're hating." [AOL Music]
• Gloria Allred is accusing David Letterman of "sexual favoritism." [MSNBC]
• Remember when Joe Francis attacked Jayde Nicole in a club? Apparently the incident was caught on a security cam video. You definitely see him drag her off of a barstool by the hair. [Radar Online]
• Michael Vick is getting his own show on BET. It's a "docu-series" spotlighting his comeback in football and also his difficult childhood and dog-fighting ring bust. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Kate Gosselin made fun of her mommy image in a skit on Jay Leno's show last night, telling photographers, "Leave me alone. Hey, what did Mommy say? I asked you to stop taking pictures and you continued… Go to your room," [ET]
• "Jon Gosselin: Kate is 'trying to prevent me from seeing my kids on their birthday.'" Eyeroll. [NY Daily News]
• Sponsors don't seem to give a shit that David Letterman hooked up with employees — there was a Disney commercial during his Tuesday show. [NY Times]
• Beastie Boy Adam Yauch had a cancerous tumor removed from his left parotid gland and says, "I'm taking Tibetan medicine and at the recommendation of the Tibetan doctors I've been eating a vegan/organic diet. I'm feeling healthy, strong and hopeful that I've beaten this thing, but of course time will tell." [TMZ]
• Julia Stiles and Bill Pullman are in the Broadway production of David Mamet's Oleanna. Stiles says: "I feel like Carol is one of the more well developed female parts he's written. There's something so interesting to me about how relentless and confrontational Carol is. For better or worse she's a force to be reckoned with. David Mamet is really good at writing characters that are flawed. There's something so fascinating about them in their bluntness." [NY Times]
• LisaRaye's new reality show will tell unflattering stories about Star Jones, Vivica A. Fox, and more. [Gatecrasher]
• "Prosecutors have declined to press charges against the sheriff's deputy who arrested Mel Gibson three years ago, citing a lack of proof he leaked details about the case." [AP]
• Alicia Keys is starting a new company, featuring a range of products; first up is The Barber's Daughters, handcrafted jewelry engraved with messages of hope. [Mirror]
• Stephanie Seymour's going through a divorce, and husband Peter Brant says she spent $50,000 a month on new clothes alone. [Gatecrasher]
• Matt Lucas's ex, Kevin McGee, who hanged himself Monday, had recently confessed his suicidal thoughts to a stranger at a gay bar. [The Sun]
• In the entertaining piece at the link, Phyllida Law — Emma Thompson's mother — talks about her daughter's struggle to have children, her adopted son from Rwanda, and her hoarding habit. [Daily Mail]
• Is Antonia Kidman getting married at her sister Nicole Kidman's estate in Sutton Forest, New South Wales, Australia? [News.com.au]
• Michael Sheen (The Queen, Frost Nixon, Underworld) plays legendary self-destructive soccer manager Brian Clough in a film called The Damned United, which is being called Sheen's "best performance of his big-screen career." [USA Today]
• Oh, yeah, and Michael Sheen also plays an Italian vampire in New Moon. But you already knew that. Twihard. [USA Today]
• Whatshername, the cagefighter, crossdressing, etc. [The Sun]
• "I love Susie Greene - she is so freeing. I analyze things from every which way. She just reacts without any kind of censor. Everything is an indignity, and she is absolutely sure of herself in every single response. All those doubts held me back for years: I wasn't good enough, I wasn't pretty enough, is this the right dress to wear? Susie Greene thinks she is drop-dead gorgeous and everything she chooses to put on is drop-dead gorgeous. Imagine being like that." — Susie Essman on her Curb Your Enthusiasm character. [NY Times]
• Q: What's your take on the Letterman sex scandal? Many people feel it's hypocrisy for him to throw darts at other's sexual misconduct when he's apparently been no better.
  A: "Here's the difference. A — it's his job to do that. And B — it just shows people don't really know what the story's about, which is the extortion. It has nothing to do with sex. And we're idiots when it comes to sexuality. We still think if you're single, you're a slut, you're awful! You should get married. People have sex! That's it. It's not the end of the world. It's really no big deal." — comedian Lewis Black. [Reuters]
• "Heath was just so full of ideas and fresh dialogue and so unbelievably fast and inventive. He was still, in some sense, speeding from playing The Joker, which had liberated him in a way that he had never experienced before. He was always telling me 'I am doing things in scenes that I didn't know was inside me. I cannot believe it.'" director Terry Gilliam, who cast Heath Ledger in The Imaginarium Of Dr. Parnassus. [Mirror]
• Check out Heath in a trailer at the link. [NY Daily News]
• "We gave our blessing. We decided that it was so touching and that it should go on the air. It was a wonderful testament to the work Adam did. I only wish he were here to help so many more." — DJ AM's mother, Andrea Gross, who decided that his show should go on the air on MTV. [TMZ]
• "I don't know how to swim. So, I never spent any time on a beach. That's the good news. The bad news is that if you are drowning, I cannot rescue you." — Bernadette Peters, at a skin cancer event. [Page Six]
• "I would do 20 Vicodin in a night. I was on my way out. I might have been 24 hours away from dying." — Robbie Williams. [The Sun]
• "She's a manifester, if there ever was one. First-rate manifester. Madonna makes things happen. Put Madonna up against any 23-year-old, she'll outwork them, outdance them, outperform them. The woman is broad. And, of course, here you go: I still love her. But she's retarded, too." — Guy Ritchie, to Esquire. [MSNBC Scoop]

• Michael Jackson's family is reportedly ready to fight his ex-wife (and mother of two of his children) Debbie Rowe for custody, as they believe that Rowe was never truly involved and that the kids should stay "within the family."[TMZ]

• Jackson's autopsy has been inconclusive thus far; it will take six to eight weeks to determine the official cause of death, pending toxicology reports. [E!]
• ""When the autopsy comes, all hell's going to break loose, so thank God we're celebrating him now," -Liza Minnelli [ShowbizSpy]
• Police have removed a car belonging to Dr. Conrad Murray, the last person to reportedly see Michael Jackson alive, because "it might contain evidence." [TMZ]
• Murray allegedly sent a letter to his patients 11 days ago, telling them he was "indefinitely" leaving his medical practice. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, fans are snapping up Jackson's music; on Friday, he had 9 of the top 10 albums on ITunes and "Amazon sold more Jackson merchandise in the past 24 hours than in the prior 11 years." [Yahoo]
• Magician Ed Alonzo, whom you might remember as Max from Saved by the Bell, was preparing to work his magic at Jackson's upcoming tour, and says the night before Jackson died, he seemed fine at rehearsals. "He looked great and these pop-locking moves that he was doing on stage with the crew were just breathtaking... He didn't seem tired. He went from one move to the next. It was an unbelievable experience to be with him and to see it all come together."[USWeekly]
• "When you drove up there were baby elephants and chimpanzees in overalls, and there was all the rides. It was everything you can possibly imagine. The memories I have from that place will last for the rest of my life."- Kim Kardashian on her memories of Neverland Ranch. [People]
• Fans were not pleased with Alessandra Stanley's tribute to Farrah Fawcett in the New York Times, which seemed to blame Fawcett for her own cancer. In writing about Fawcett's final special, Stanley notes that she "never made the public service point that . . . the HPV vaccine is the most promising form of prevention against this type of cancer, which in most cases is sexually acquired." [NYPost]
• "I'm cool with my body, and I'm cool running around undressed and all that stuff, but there are just certain things that not everyone needs to know, that you need to keep somehow private and personal to you. But you never know, you never know. I could be 30 years old and just be like, 'Screw it-I want to take it all off. I better take a picture of this baby before it all goes."- Hayden Panettiere [E!]
• Surprising their fans, Spoon has announced that they'll be releasing a new EP this Tuesday. [EW]
• The Mighty Boosh plan to split in because Julian Barratt reportedly wishes to spend more time with his partner, Julia Davis and their children, while Noel Fielding "still loves the gig scene." [TheSun]
• Coolio will enter an 18-month rehab program in order to avoid jail time after pleading guilty to possession of cocaine.[Reuters]
• Evan Rachel Wood and Alan Cumming have been tapped to star in the Broadway adaptation of Spider-Man, which will be directed by Julie Taymor. Wood will play Mary Jane Watson; Cumming will play the Green Goblin. [Variety]
• Richard Dreyfuss has devoted himself to the revival of civics education in schools, as he believes its necessary for children to learn the importance of getting involved. [USAToday]
• Is Emma Watson trading in her Hogwarts robes for a stint at Columbia? [DailyExpress]
• Blind Item: "Which actor just had a baby with his girlfriend, but behind her back is having an affair with his fellow actor friend?" [BlindGossip]
• Heidi Fleiss is planning on marrying Dennis Hof owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch: "I'm proud to say that I'm clean and sober, and I'm finally ready to make a commitment to one man - and that's Dennis. It's going to be my first and only wedding, so it's going to be fabulous." [DailyExpress]
• Faith Hill and Tim McGraw "waited in line just like everybody else at the opening of the new Titanic exhibition at Discovery Times Square" with their children the other day and were reportedly very nice to fans. [PageSix]
• Former Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson is getting married today, and fellow ex-GND Holly Madison says"she's probably nervous," but that the ceremony is "going to be really beautiful and touching." [People]
• "I can't think of myself in terms of celebrity. It's just too weird. If the choice is between being gawked at and sitting in a chair in a dark room, I prefer the dark room."-Johnny Depp. You guys wouldn't happen to have a dark room that Johnny Depp could just make hide out in, would you? [ShowbizSpy]

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Britney shouted, "What's up London?" at a recent gig… In Manchester. Mancunians were irritated. [Daily Mail]

• Beyoncé backed out of a performance at a club in New York  and the club owner says he's already spent $100,000 preparing for the show. Lawsuit threat! [Page Six]
• Rihanna is expected in court on Monday as a witness in Chris Brown's assault case; her testimony will not be televised. [CNN]
• Angelina was taping Anderson Cooper 360 for World Refugee Day and said: "I usually just explain to [my kids] that there are other families in the world that aren't as fortunate as ours and other kids'...And so I tell them that it's important for all of us to do what we can and then go to these places and understand what's happening, Hopefully I'll take them to as many countries as I can and raise them with an education of the world." [E!]
• Here's a transcript of Anderson Cooper's interview with Angelina. [CNN]
• Oh for the love of God. Someone has their hands on a sex tape starring Leighton Meester  Blair from Gossip Girl  and it involves her "very talented feet." [TMZ]
• Jessica Alba has sent a donation to the United Way after defacing on of their billboards. Good idea! [E!]
• Sacha Baron Cohen wore a bull outfit in Spain yesterday. As you can see in this picture, his black costume had horns, a prominent penis and a hooves. He was attended by cute bullfighters. [USA Today]
• Katherine Heigl is staying on for season six of Grey's Anatomy. [E!]
• If Jill Scott is nominated for an Emmy for The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency and wins, she'll be the first African-American actress to have a best TV drama actress award. [LA Times]
• Dina Lohan, a little late on the uptake, has commented that her daughter Lindsay Lohan had nothing to do with the jewelry theft from an Elle photo shoot. Yeah. We know. Dina also says: "Last month her personal cell was posted online and now her phone messages have been hacked. This must stop. She is a 22-year-old girl who needs to live her life in peace. The tabloids need to leave her alone with all the lies and reporting with no proof." [People]
• Just what you always wanted: Jennifer Love Hewitt is writing a dating book called The Say I Shot Cupid. "I thought it was time to share the real story of what I've learned navigating the dating waters," she says. "Hopefully, in addition to having a good laugh, women reading this will learn from some of my hard lessons." [People]
• Shanna Moakler, who resigned as president from the Miss California USA organization, says: "If Donald Trump gives his blessing, I'll be back in a heartbeat." [E!]
• Hmm: Did Olive Garden pull its ad dollars from David Letterman's show after his kerfluffle with Sarah Palin? [Ad Age]
• Conan O'Brien is beating David Letterman in certain demographics, but Letterman is close behind in total viewers. [Variety]
• "Today I begin my fast for Darfur."  Maria Bello. [Huffington Post]
• Oh, dear: Amy Winehouse is causing trouble on St. Lucia. Just by being there! An "influential local newspaper proprietor" believes that Amy's stay on the island is good publicity; a former government spin doctor says Amy should have been arrested and kicked out of the country by "the morality police." [Guardian]
• In this story, Beth Ditto goes off on Katy Perry and her "party song" "I Kissed A Girl." Ditto says: "As a gay person, it's like, 'Oh, of course this straight person singing about kissing a girl goes straight to Top 40 and people buy this record. Who can give a fuck about real gay people?' That's what's really painful about the whole thing." [Spinner]
• George Michael was banned from driving for 2 years, but now he's back behind the wheel, with a new car: a $200,000 Ferrari California. Something subtle and low-profile. [Luxist]
• Au revoir! David and Victoria Beckham are thinking of selling their home ins the South of France. [The Sun]
• David Archuleta's dad has pleaded no contest to "patronizing" a prostitute in a Salt Late City massage parlor. And he doesn't mean he was condescending to her. He means he was a customer! He paid a $582 fine and completed a counseling class. [USA Today]
• LeAnn Rimes is not getting a divorce, says LeAnn's rep. [E!]
• Josie Bissett will return to Melrose Place  as a guest star. [People]
• Do Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo live under a rock? They have never heard of Susan Boyle. [Us Magazine]
• "Susan Boyle was dropped from a second Britain's Got Talent concert last night after launching into a bizarre rant over her beloved cat Pebbles." [Daily Mail]
• In this interview, Tyrese refers to himself in the third person and says: "I believe that people are going to love Transformers 2." Of course you do. [USA Today]
• OMG. If Susanne Bartsch had been on the Real Housewives Of New York it would have been a much different show. She is a legend, a spectacle and a freak show  rolled into one  in the best possible way. [NY Mag]
• Check out this zany interview with Bob Odenkirk and David Cross, the Mr. Show duo, who are reuniting for a string of Chicago shows. [Milwaukee Decider]
• You've gotta love these pictures of Sienna Miller "stumbling" out a club with rumored romantic interest, Irish comedian Patrick Kielty  her hair's disheveled and he's got a cocktail in his hand as he sits in the cab. [Daily Mail]
• But wait! Don't miss these pictures of Kate Moss writhing on stage with Pink Floyd's David Gilmour as she sings at a karaoke party. [Daily Mail]
• LOL: Robin Wright Penn calls Keanu Reeves a "gentle giant." [The Star]
• When asked about Sean Penn, Robin joked: "Thank God somebody's staying with the kids!" [Mirror]
• "Heidi Fleiss speaks up for tropical birds." [Sadie Frost is 44 and single and just hosted a speed-dating night, which is "news." [Daily Express]
• Common and Queen Latifah will star in a sports romance called Just Wright, in which a sports trainer finds herself falling in love with a professional basketball player while rehabilitating him from a career-threatening injury. [Variety]
• Kevin Williamson is working on a new Scream trilogy, but Neve Campbell refuses to be in it. Williamson's Twitter reads: "This sucks." [ONTD]
• Hollywood is out of ideas, part MCDLXXXV: Teen Wolf remake. On the way. [Movie Hole]
• Gravely ill: Walter Cronkite. [NY Post]
• Jeremy Piven hasn't eaten fish in 10 months. [People]
• Blind item! "Which music mogul looks at himself in the mirror every morning and recites an ode to his greatness?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I would love to do [a movie about] Harriet Tubman. I think maybe one day a slave epic. Apart from Roots, which was on television, I don't think there's been a serious film dealing with slavery in this country. It would need alternative means of finance. It's not something that you could get made through the traditional Hollywood system."  from "10 Questions With Spike Lee." [Time]
• "Jennifer does not share the same sense of humor as me - she did not like my jokes. I was picking on [Jen's husband] Ben Affleck and making fun of him because I've known him for a really long time - I was talking smack - and Jennifer goes, 'You know, if you keep saying stuff about him, I'm going to kick your ass.' And she could - I've seen Alias. She has a real girly sense of humor and didn't understand that I was kidding."  Kevin Smith. [Gatecrasher]
• "It feels to me like [the band] has run its course at the moment. I'm not going to quit making music, and I probably will make some more Nine Inch Nails stuff down the road. But I'm going to try some different things now."  Trent Reznor says NIN is going on hiatus after a summer tour. [Newsweek]
• "If there's any turmoil, I think it's managing all of it, but having an incredible team that helps me do that it makes it very easy, or easier than it would normally be attempting to do it myself."  Usher on filing for divorce. [Mirror]
• "I'm embarrassed to say it was my first time voting-but my guy got in."  Ginuwine, who never paid attention to politics until Barack Obama came along. [US News & World Report]
• "Maybe because she doesn't look anything special, people identify with her. I get letters all the time from people who think she is real, and they give me fashion tips for dressing better, telling me that if I smarten myself up I'll be able to stand up to everyone better at the magazine."  America Ferrera, on her Ugly Betty character. [Daily Mail]
• "Right now I'm shouting out to real dads. Some are great role models with real academic achievements. Some are not ... We deserve the love!!! We put up with everything, standing true to what's real and letting life take its course protecting our household, our woman, our children, our family ... Biggest Shout To My Son On The Way!!"  Nas. (Wait, what?) [TMZ]
• "There was lot of material to memorize… Curb is improvised and I'm making it up as I go along in many cases. Here, I was doing someone else's words, which was really a pleasure, because you can get pretty sick of being yourself every minute of every day. To actually have a chance to say someone else's words, no less Woody Allen's, was fun."  Larry David, on being in Whatever Works. [WSJ]
• "I've been wearing similar outfits to Lady GaGa for years across Europe while I've been promoting my records. Now when I wear outrageous costumes people say I'm copying her. It really annoys me. She stole my look and I want it back."  Swedish singer September, who appears to favor rubber and blonde hair. [The Sun]
• "My parents' generation wasn't so good at that… Now, I try to talk to my kids - they don't want to hear it from me. They know."  Michelle Pfeiffer on giving the bird and bees talk. [NY Magazine]
• "I've known Sacha since he did Bruno when he was a young man and my son is named Bruno after him – partly after Bruno!"  Nigella Lawson. [Daily Express]
• "Back then everyone wanted their body to look like mine. Women would say: 'I've worked out for five years to look like you.' I'd trained constantly for the film, but I couldn't sustain my fitness."  Linda Hamilton's Terminator biceps hit the screen 25 (?!?) years ago. [Daily Mail]
• "Man, I'm not into that stuff. All I need is a brush. That and some Carol's Daughter Body Butter to keep off the ash. My family, we use this stuff at home. I wish I had the time to get manicures and pedicures, but the season is so crazy. Some people make the time, but I don't."  LeBron James, as he got a cucumber-and-lavender manicure. [NY Mag]
• "Who am I? I'm just another schmendrick who used to be in a goy band. I don't know what the hell that means either, but I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be funny… Ok, that's enough schtick in the box from me."  Justin Timberlake's jokes at an event at the United Jewish Federation, where his record label boss, Barry Weiss, was being honored. [AP]

• Susan Boyle was "comforted" by psychiatrists before the Britian's Got Talent finale. Then she lost. [Daily Mail]
• Paramedics and police were called to help a "spaced-out" Susan Boyle through a hotel lobby early Sunday. [NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Now? Susan Boyle is in a mental hospital:

She had an "emotional breakdown." Sources say she is suffering from exhaustion: "She was very tired and hasn't been sleeping." Can I just say that I know someone who was on America's Got Talent and for 99% of the time that you're involved, the producers fuck with your head? They tell you you're amazing, and to "do what you do best," and if the judges don't like it, you're supposed to tell them off. There's no doubt that being on the show is a mindfuck. [The Sun, BBC News]

• Judge Piers Morgan says of Susan Boyle: I spoke to her yesterday for about half an hour and she's fine. She's gone in for some rest. She needs to get away from everyone – get away from the show, from the media, the public, and just have a bit of down time to herself." [People]
• "Susan Boyle set for £6million fortune with hit album and blitz on America." [Mirror]
• Bruno (aka Sacha Baron Cohen)  wearing angel wings and a butt-exposing jockstrap  flew in to the MTV Movie Awards over the audience, on a wire  but a "mishap" cause him to get stuck and lowered over the crowd, with his ass right in Eminem's face. (Video here.) Eminem was pissed and stormed out  but was he in on the joke? [AP, People]
• Eminem reportedly said, "Get this motherfucker off me." [NY Daily News]
• Kate Hudson and Madonna were both at Veuve Clicquot's Manhattan Polo Classic on Governors Island Saturday afternoon, and there was no clawing scratching catfight now that Kate is dating A-Rod, because her Madgesty doesn't give a shit. [Gatecrasher]
• If you missed the angsty, muscular, fuzzy, werewolfy New Moon trailer, see it here. [NY Daily News]
• Are Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt regretting their decision to join the cast of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here? Apparently the couple threatened to quit the show and Heidi bitched, "I wish they got some real celebrities like K-Fed." [RyanSeacrest.com]
• Here are some "leaked" pictures (possibly from a cellphone) of Rihanna and Chris Brown kissing and cuddling, from happier days. [The Sun]
• "Chris Brown Predicts Next Album Will Be His Biggest." [People]
• Although she never confirmed that she is pregnant, Jennifer Hudson had a baby shower in Chicago. [UPI, Chicago Tribune]
• If you ever wanted to lick Daniel Craig's abs, here is your chance: An ice cream company created a purple "licence to chill" popsicle crafted to look like 007 in Casino Royale. As you'll see in the picture, things get real weird below the waist… dude's hands and hips are fused together. [Telegraph]
• Thank Zeus: The rumor that TLC will send the kids to a Swiss boarding school and just have a show called Jon & Kate Unleashed is totally false. [TMZ]
• This weekend, Jon Gosselin was in New York, shopping; Kate Gosselin and the kids (and the bodyguard) were in Bald Head Island, N.C. Separate lives. [MSNBC Scoop]
• The eldest daughter of Billy Bob Thornton has been charged with child neglect; a one-year-old she was babysitting died in October. She and Billy Bob are estranged, but he calls the situation "an unimaginable tragedy." [TMZ]
• Seen having an intimate dinner: Drew Barrymore and Adrien Grenier. Hmm, his eco-mindedness and her flower-child persona could be perfect together! [Perez]
• Stephanie Pratt told Sandra Bullock she was her grandfather's favorite actress. Unsult! Stephanie also said: "Oh, he's dead now, but the two films of yours he used to watch over and over were Miss Congeniality and Pretty Woman." Sandy replied: "Well, if I were actually in 'Pretty Woman' I'd be very flattered." [LA Times]
• Victoria Beckham is freaked out by the earthquakes in L.A.  she and her family are having lessons in a tremor simulator, to learn what to do. Scream and head for a doorframe? [Daily Mail]
• That oh-so-lovely painting of Madonna and Guy Ritchie by artist Peter Howson failed to sell at auction yesterday. Wonder why? [Daily Express]
• Amy Winehouse may have canceled her UK comeback gig, but she is still working on her third album; and this is a picture of Amy strolling the beach and playing guitar, which proves that somehow. [Daily Mail]
• Simon Cowell has spent all week with his "glamorous" ex-girlfriend, Jackie St. Claire. That is a steamy romance novel name, you gotta admit. [Daily Mail]
• At next week's Venice Biennale, Yoko Ono, called here "the world's most famous rock widow" will receive the Golden Lion award for a lifetime's achievement in the visual arts. [Financial Times]
• Donald Trump has changed Miss California USA Carrie Prejean's contract, throwing out the clauses which forbid her from making unauthorized appearances and penning a tell-all book. Her lawyer, who helped work the deal, is also the lawyer for NOM. Naturally. [Perez]
• Some 500 actors, including George Clooney and Tom Hanks, urged members of SAG  the largest U.S. actors union  to vote "yes" on a new contract with Hollywood's major studios on Friday. [Reuters]
• Paul McCartney will be the first musician to perform at Citi Field, the new home of the New York Mets, on July 17. [UPI]
• Catherine Zeta-Jones was paid £1.55m in salary and expenses to appear in a shampoo commercial which will be broadcast in China and Japan; that comes to about at £3,691 for every second she appears on screen. Her hair is super shiny, I must say. [Times of London]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has agreed to give estranged husband Peter Andre a "quickie" divorce. [Daily Mail]
• Will Princess Eugenie join a British reality show based on The Hills? [Daily Mail]
• John Travolta is "struggling" five months after the death of his son, and can't promote his new film, The Taking of Pelham 123. Costar Denzel Washington says: "One moment he's OK and the next he's in tears." [CNN]
• Halle Berry is in talks to star in The Surrogate, a film about a a couple desperate to have a child  and then find out the surrogate they hired to carry their baby is insane. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Lisa Ling has written a statement, pleading for the release of her sister, Laura Ling, as well as journalist Euna Lee, who were arrested in North Korea. It reads, in part: "It has been nearly three months since their arrest… We have been holding our breath… Laura and Euna are journalists who were simply doing their job. They have been charged with 'illegal entry,' and 'hostility to the Korean nation.' We aren't certain of the details of what happened on March 17, but we can say with absolute certainty that when the girls left U.S. soil, they never intended to set foot onto North Korean territory. If at any point a transgression occurred, we sincerely apologize on their behalf." [People]
• Did you know that Spike TV has "Guys Choice" Awards? Well, they do. And Mickey Rourke was named Guy Of The Year on Saturday. Clint Eastwood was given a Brass Balls award. [UPI]
• Constantine Maroulis, who got a Tony nomination for his role in the Broadway show Rock Of Ages, says, "Oh, I'll never win. I'm pretty sure it will go to the guys from Billy Elliot." He also says he would love to do Shakespeare: "I'd cut off my hair tomorrow." [NY Times]
• Haha: Harry Connick Jr. got his tarot cards read by a fortune teller and asked if he "could double down" if the news was good. [Page Six]
• Here's a profile on Tom Barrack, a financier who made billions buying and selling distressed properties  his latest investment is Michael Jackson. [LA Times]
• Lori Petty, aka Tank Girl: Arrested! The charges are felony DUI and allegedly hitting a skateboarder with her car… [TMZ]
• Tonight's the night! Conan O'Brien hosts The Tonight Show. "It's a venerated, beloved NBC franchise," O'Brien says. "That doesn't mean I can't do silly things in that space, but the space itself should be beautiful." [UPI]
• Andy Richter is excited to be back on TV with Conan O'Brien: "I'm not gonna lie to you. A steady paycheck is a very rare thing in show business generally. And specifically right now a very rare thing. That in itself is the sublime revelation. To get that stress lifted, man, life is really nice." [LA Times]
• Sophie Dahl has a book about food and says: "I'm naturally very greedy. I go to bed wondering what to have for breakfast." [Mirror]
• Kylie Minogue and her model man, Andres Velencoso, are about to buy a beachside Villa in Spain. [Daily Express]
• Natasha Richardson left most of her assets to husband Liam Neeson, but also set aside money for her half-sister, a costume designer and and employee in London. [TMZ]
• Scott Weiland's estranged wife, Mary Forsberg, will publish her memoir, Fall To Pieces, in October. As you may know, Weiland was arrested on battery charges while with Forsberg, a former model. Her book is described as a ""visceral, rollercoaster ride inside bipolar disorder, rock 'n' roll, celebrity culture, and the competitive world of modeling from a rock star wife and recovering drug addict." [Daily Express]
• Tom Sizemore will be on the third season of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew  but so is his ex-girlfriend, Heidi Fleiss. He was convicted of assaulting her back in 2003. Now they have to share space and airtime. [TMZ]
• Pete Doherty says The Libertines will reunite next year. Just when people have ceased to care! [The Sun]
• "Rock legend Jimi Hendrix was murdered by his manager as part of an insurance scam, a new book by one of his former aides claims." [Daily Mail]
• Words you maybe thought you'd never read: Phil Spector blogging from prison. Just so you know: The authorities took his wig, and he's befriended a cockroach – "I'm naming him Wilson" – and is playing air chess with him. Raise your hand if you think this is fake. [ONTD via Daily Express]
• Blind item! "Which sexy rapper was rolling on Ecstasy during a recent VIP event?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Most of the time I think, deep down, I'm three different people. You have to jump from place to place – go along with the situation. It's different, wherever you are. You gotta roll with it."  Prince Harry. [Mirror]
• "If it happened now, Bill would go to jail." Mandy Smith on the Rolling Stone (Bill Wyman) who seduced her at the age of 13. She married him in1989, when she was 19 and he was 53. [Daily Mail]
• "He's a good influence. He doesn't drink or do drugs or anything like that. And I have a girlfriend so it's not like I hit on girls with him. He's the best, a very sweet professional and incredibly smart."  Jonah Hill on Russell Brand. [Mirror]
• "I feel sexier now than I did then: it's what's in my head that's sexier. If I could go back and be in my 25-year-old body with my head, boy, would I be dangerous… I've read books like The Beauty Myth. I guess I see it very differently. I don't use beauty products or dye my hair to please anyone else; I don't do it to capture a man, I do it because it's something I enjoy. I think it's innate, something you're born with. Femininity is an amazing quality and with it comes wanting to dress beautifully – as a little girl, it's in your nature. I watched my daughters do it – you don't teach them."  Andie MacDowell. [Daily Mail]
• "We should stop cutting music programmes in schools. It's vitally important that our kids are exposed to music: give them the opportunity to play instruments. It's still a mystery to me, the whole idea of how you write songs, and I've been doing it all my life."  Sting. [BBC News]
• "I'm not one of those people that can suddenly start running and hire a Pilates trainer, it's just not my thing. Walks helped clear my head. I was weighing myself once a week, just trying not to be obsessive about it. I just wanted to feel better; I wanted to feel healthy… It was never about that Hollywood pressure to lose weight, I laugh at that. It was always just an issue of health. Some people have been calling it a comeback, I actually call it a resurfacing."  Nia Vardalos, who slimmed down after blood sugar issues. [People]
• Q:Do you have any advice for aspiring stars? A: "I do. No. 1, stay clean and sober. Say no to drugs and alcohol, especially if you're under 18. No. 2, make sure you have a credible agent [or adult] with you at all times when you go into photography studios. No. 3, when you start out shooting your portfolio, don't let photographers rip you off or steal your money. You only need 10 good pictures. No. 4, make sure your agent is credible."  Janice Dickinson, who has a soon-to-be-released pop song called "Crazy." [Star Tribune]
• "People sometimes think I'm on drugs when I'm not. It's because I am actively in my creative headspace. I operate in a different way to other artists."  Lady GaGa, who is newly single. [News Of The World]
• "They think this is a game show. It isn't. It's arduous. It's fighting hunger. Since I haven't eaten in 32 years, it won't affect me. After I have sex with Sanjaya, he'll come out of the closet and run out of the jungle."  Janice Dickinson, on I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. [Page Six]

• OMG twins! Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline were born to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt one minute apart on Saturday evening. Apparently Brad was in the delivery room as doctors performed a C-section on Angie: Knox weighed in at slightly over 5 pounds, and Vivienne weighed 5 pounds. Now comes the speculation over the how much photographs of the bébés are worth: The couple has maybe sold the rights to a U.S. publication  maybe People  and the proceeds will go to charity. The number being thrown around is $11 million. [AP]
• Darryn Lyons, owner of Big Pictures, a celebrity photo agency, claims that pix of the twins are worth between $15 and $20 million. The only other photos that "would possibly come that close is Britney Spears giving birth to an alien," he says. [AP]
• Quentin Tarantino is flying to France to meet with Brad Pitt  but about a movie, not about the twins. [Page Six]
• Josh Brolin, Jeffrey Wright and other members of the crew from Oliver Stone's movie W were arrested in a bar fight early Saturday morning in Shreveport, LA. Maybe someone made a Karl Rove joke? [AP]

• Uh-oh. Did Mamma Mia actress Amanda Seyfried dis the gays by not walking the red carpet at Outfest? [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus filmed scenes for her upcoming Hannah Montana movie in Malibu's Paradise Cove and everybody went cuckoo. Screaming fans, paparazzi and the sherriff's department all converged in a perfect storm of chaos. A police helicopter buzzed overhead and, says one beachgoer, "I thought it was going to land right on the paparazzi." [Yahoo News]
• Why? Why are there pictures of Miley in the shower???? [Egotastic]
• Amy Winehouse's dad collapsed due to "stress." What do you think he's upset about? [The Sun]
• Oh, look, Amy snorting something in a DJ booth. [TMZ]
• And here Amy's dad says he fears Amy will die. Sigh. [Daily Mail]
• Amy will stop performing in September to take a break from singing and focus on her writing. Also, Amy's been "visiting" her dead grandmother in her dreams, and Nan's not happy that Amy's not living up to her potential. [Telegraph]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: Pictured relaxing on a luxury yacht off of Italy's Amalfi coast. Not pictured: Balthazar's wife and four kids. [Mirror]
• Nicole Kidman had lunch at a restaurant in Nashville on Friday in a post-baby outing and "looked amazing." Yawn. [People]
• Kate Hudson has beaten out Sienna Miller and Anne Hathaway for a role in Nine, the movie based on the Broadway musical, starring Daniel Day-Lewis. (Can Kate keep her hands off of her co-star?) [Page Six]
• Mario Lopez doesn't tip coat check ladies when he checks his murse. [Page Six]
• Ian McKellen's performance in King Lear is coming to PBS. But will he be nude on TV as he is in one scene on stage? [AP]
• Jennifer Lopez's nanny has walked off the job. Or did she run? Apparently it's a 16-hour a day, seven days a week gig. And this is the second nanny to leave, so Jen and Marc are looking for number 3. [MSNBC]
• Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones has left his wife for an 18-year-old Russian woman. "He met her in a dodgy escort bar at four in the morning when he was boozed out of his mind," his publicist (??) says. Jeez. No sympathy for the devil here. [UPI]
• Jarrod Beinerman, a 34-year-old reputed drug dealer from Brooklyn, has admitted that he stole a $13,000 Marc Jacobs handbag from the hotel room of Kirsten Duns last August. He could get 4 years in prison. It's not clear if Kiki got her purse back. [UPI]
• Heidi Fleiss is facing felony drug use and possession charges from that February traffic stop. She's charged with unlawful use of methamphetamine and possession of the painkiller hydrocodone without a prescription. And something about her mug shot is just plain creepy. [AP]
• Anthony Kiedis and girlfriend Heather Christie: Broken up! They were together for more than 3 years and have a son, Everly Bear. "Anthony is a great dad and I will love him forever for giving me the gift of life," Heather says. "I really hope he finds what he's looking for." Oh, dear. [UPI]
• Congrats to Tabboo of the Black Eyed Peas, who got married in Pasadena over the weekend. will.i.am, Apl de ap and Fergie attended; if you have an unusual or oddly spelled name, you might have been there, too. [UPI]
• This video of Vivica A. Fox calling Jessica Simpson the "baddest blonde bitch on the planet" while holding a flaxen-haired child is very perplexing. [TMZ]
• Jessica, Vivica and Tony Romo hung out at the Key Club together the other night. [Page Six]
• Guy Ritchie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Martin and Robert Downey Jr had dinner together in the Hamptons… Madonna was nowhere to be found. [Full Disclosure]
• Maybe Madonna was at the Kabbalah center? She has given the group over $5 million  and no longer supports some other charities she once funded. [NY Post]
• The E! True Hollywood Story of Heath Ledger aired over the weekend without the dirty secrets usually revealed on that show. The stuff about Heath's father Kim fighting with his brothers was avoided. [News.com.au]
• Is Katherine Heigl going to get kicked off of Grey's Anatomy? [Perez Hilton]
• Is Milo Ventimiglia planning to propose to Hayden Panettiere? [The Sun]
• Hayden cut her hair, btw. [E!]
• Christopher Gorham, aka Henry on Ugly Betty, has left the show. He'll star on CBS drama Harper's Island. His character's name? Henry. [Yahoo News]
• The Mariah Carey remix contest: A marketing gimmick that could sound hot. [Reuters]
• Jimi Hendrix's brother Leon is trying to use the rock star's image to market a brand of vodka. Sister Janie thinks that's offensive; cue a family scuffle. [UPI]
• Shocker: Meet Dave bombed at the box office. [E!]
• Dear Brooke Hogan: Why must you dress like you're a Frederick's Of Hollywood spokesmodel? [The.Life Files]
• Marianne Faithfull is taking six months off for "mental and physical exhaustion." Be well! [Telegraph]
• "If I got a nomination, I'd make everyone in my life start calling me "Emmy." All of us in this room work extremely hard. The audience sees the end result: the show. But no one sees the process involved in getting those accolades, that recognition. It's beyond stardom. And it doesn't come often in an actress's lifetime."  Tichina Arnold of Everybody Hates Chris, in a discussion with 7 of TV's top actresses that's worth reading. Kyra Sedgwick, Minnie Driver, Jenna Fischer Calista Flockhart, Felicity Huffman and Brooke Shields also weigh in. [Yahoo News]
• "I'm not a bad person. When people say all these negative things about me, I ignore them. Let them be negative - but do that away from me. It hurts but I know there is much more good in the world. I'm blessed to be able to do charitable work and good things but no one focuses on that because I don't throw it in people's faces. That's why they focus on the negatives."  Naomi Campbell. [Mirror]

• Amy Winehouse has joined a list of young millionaires! She has an estimated £10 million fortune. And yet you'd never know it. Love that! [Telegraph]
  
• Uh-oh. Amy might get arrested today, because she headbutted some guy who might press charges. [The Sun]
  
• Madonna's new album, Hard Candy, debuts today on MySpace — four days before the official release date. [People]
  
• Lauren Conrad will become a fashion blogger. For the poorly-named site College Tonight. Think she can write? [Fashionista]
  
• So MSNBC is claiming they never asked Heidi Montag to sit at their table at the White House Correspondent's dinner. And yet! Radar has an email from Courtney Hazlett of MSNBC.com attempting to confirm Heidi's attendance at the dinner. But see MSNBC and MSNBC.com are different, you guys. So the site sent the invite and Heidi declined. In any case! Heidi will not be at the dinner. So there's that. [Radar]

• Jailed Pete Doherty missed his own art opening in Paris. On view: 30 paintings by the singer, using his own blood as well and pencil and paint. The one of Kate Moss is um, impressionistic. [Daily Mail]
• Jimmy Fallon will replace Conan O'Brien on Late Night sometime next year. Well, the show will be full of laughter: He's great at cracking himself up. [AP]
• The unlawful smoking charges against Shia LaBeouf have been dismissed! Light up, dude. In a designated area, though. [Yahoo News]
• Rebecca Romjin's character on Ugly Betty — being scaled back and downgraded to a "recurring" role. Boo. Everyone loves a glam tranny. [E!]
• Two newspapers and the Associated Press are asking for access to R. Kelly's pretrial hearings. The lawyer repping the media outlets claims that R's celebrity status doesn't justify a media ban. [AP]
• Meanwhile! R. Kelly has a new video, in which he sings about getting his hair braided. [ConcreteLoop]
• Jerry Springer will be the commencement speaker at Northwestern Law School for the class of '08 and some people are not happy. [Page Six]
• Ice-T is producing a documentary about his hero, Iceberg Slim, a pimp-turned-novelist. [Page Six]
• John Legend is not, repeat, not dating Maria Menounos; they just had a "friendly drink." John has a girlfriend, Christine Teigen. [Page Six]
• Nick Lachey will host a show called High School Musical: Summer Session that's like a talent search or something and I feel sad about the direction TV is going in so I'm not saying any more. [Variety]
• Bill Cosby is teaming up with a Superior Court Judge in Atlanta to speak about at-risk black youth. [CNN, via AP]
• George Clooney's Oscar Nominee Gift Bag: Up for charity auction. [PR Newswire]
• Cynthia Nixon may marry her girlfriend Christine Marinoni in "a quiet autumn ceremony in Vermont under the red leaves." And they both have red hair! Sounds sweet. [ONTD]
• Michael Jackson's asked Akon to produce his new album. And uh, he's sworn off women so he can "concentrate." Yeeeeah. [Page Six]
• A new book scolds Paris Hilton and Britney Spears for impulse-buying animals at pet stores. [Page Six]
• Heidi Fleiss will be on Dr. Drew's VH1 show, Celebrity Rehab to deal with her Vicodin and meth addictions. Oh, and she's hoping to fall in love. LOL. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which 'sensitive' heartthrob rocker does his best work with a snoot full of booger sugar? Girls who flock to his side at NYC clubs notice he can't go but five minutes between bathroom breaks." [Gatecrasher]
• The Empire State Building will be purple, pink and white tonight in honor of Mariah Carey. Somebody take a picture! [Gothamist]
• The paparazzi are mad at Mariah Carey because at a CD signing, she showed up two hours late, rushed down the red carpet and wore sunglasses on the red carpet. They might boycott her. Ooooh, burn. [TMZ]
• Some dude who once appeared in a movie with Michael Douglas is suing Douglas over an effed up business deal. [TMZ/]
• Two production assistants who worked on The Hills and Next have filed a class action lawsuit against MTV, claiming they put in more than eight hours a day, without meal breaks, but were not paid overtime. Plus: They had to deal with the cast of The Hills. [TMZ]
• Three years after his memorable couch-jumping incident, Tom Cruise will be back on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Oprah will be celebrating Tom's career since his breakout role 25 years ago in Risky Business. [People]
• Pete Wentz says the ring he gave Ashlee Simpson is not a conflict diamond, so you can all relax. [People]
• Ashlee is on the cover of Shape magazine, btw. In a string bikini. Is that why she doesn't want to admit she's preg? [MSNBC]
• The new 90210 might have Hilary Duff as a star. Meh. [E!]
• "I have accepted a part in a major studio film. It's a comedy. It's starting the first week in May and it's filming in Louisiana. I can't wait." — Kim Kardashian. The flick is one of those spoofs like Scary Movie, Date Movie, etc. You know, totes Oscar-worthy. [E!]
• Is there a James Bond curse? A stuntman is fighting for his life after crashing an Alfa Romeo into a truck while filming a chase scene. This is the third on-set accident this week. Fear not! Daniel Craig was not harmed. [Mirror]
• Oh, but production on the film as been suspended while the accident is investigated. [Perez Hilton]
• I've heard this before but maybe you haven't: Ashton Kutcher has webbed toes. [The Sun]
• "I think people are learning to actually aspire to be objectified. It's like the highest form of flattery for teenage girls. The culture we live in right now seems to reward behavior that we used to frown upon. We used to teach our daughters not to be like this. I think in the '80s, there would certainly have been a little bit of snobbery expressed if somebody admitted to getting a full Brazilian bikini wax. A circle of friends would be like, 'What are you, a porn star?'" — Christina Ricci. [MSNBC]

• Amy Winehouse is moving with the Osbournes. She's friends with Kelly, so Ozzy and Sharon are opening her guesthouse at their estate outside of London. Because, you know, the Osbournes are the perfect family to take in an addict. [Page Six]
  
• Jennifer Lopez wants her twins to be born on Valentine's Day, since she'll be able to make the deadline for the weekly magazine covers. Always so practical! [MSNBC]
  
• Sam Lutfi is hiding out somewhere in L.A. but did contact E! News to claim: "I'm not worried about what Lynne is saying" about cutting Britney's phone lines. "It's not true." He does admit he made Brit take pills: "I said these pills are working wonders  they are miracle pills." [MSNBC]
  
• Kevin Federline is attending the Marc Jacobs show tonight, let us repeat, KEVIN FEDERLINE is attending the Marc Jacobs show tonight. Meanwhile, Grandma Lynne Spears has weekend custody of the kids. [E!]

• As reported yesterday, Kirsten Dunst is in rehab, sources say she was "awful with her liquor." [Page Six]
• Uma Thurman is not pregnant, she just quit smoking, says her boyfriend Arky Busson. Stop staring at her tummy! Also, "Arky," LOL. [Page Six]
• Not-so-blind item! "Which former congressman was spotted taking an interest in a very young dancer at a gay club in Fort Lauderdale? You'd think by now he would have turned the page." [Gatecrasher]
• Heidi Fleiss was arrested in Nevada on DUI, driving without a license and possession of dangerous drugs without a prescription. From the looks of her mugshot, homegirl was waaaaaaaaaaasted. [TMZ]
• Fergie on stars who hide that they're knocked up: "It's so stupid. It can be obvious a girl is pregnant but they still deny it. It's as if they want the attention and press it causes. I wouldn't be part of all that nonsense." Never say never! [Mirror]
• If you've got £100 and you ask nicely, Pete Doherty will play your birthday party. That's either a great deal or slightly overpriced, can't decide which. [The Sun]
• Oprah ($260 mil), Tiger Woods ($100 mil) and Jay-Z ($83 mil) are at the top of the list of Forbes' "Top Earning African-Americans". Take a moment and think about what you would do with the mere $27 mil raked in by Lebron James, #10. [Concrete Loop]
• Andrea Peyser of the New York Post wrote a column calling Heath Ledger "reckless and greedy" and "selfish." She claimed: "There is nothing noble or beautiful about the so-called accidental death of Heath Ledger, a man with everything to live for - a beautiful daughter, a blossoming career, and a Victoria's Secret catalogue-full of willing babes. He threw it away, as gamely as if he had put a gun to his mouth and pulled the trigger." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Kanye West is selling his Beverly Hills home for $8 million, less than a year after her bought it for $7.5 million. The price probably includes the black angel he had painted on the ceiling. [Wall Street Journal]
• Kanye might be performing at the Grammys, and if he does, it will be an "emotional tribute" to his mother. [People]
• Pepe Jeans is suing a charter airline for canceling Sienna Miller's fight from London to New York. She missed a photo shoot and the company had to hire a "replacement model." Like Sienna can be replaced! [Reuters]
• Leona Lewis, winner of the UK singing competition X Factor, says most of her friends from the old neighborhood have been shot, knifed or beaten. [Mirror]
• Kyle (Sex And The City, Twin Peaks) MacLachlan and his wife, Project Runway producer Desiree Gruber, are expecting their first child. Congrats! [Page Six]

Sure, she's 80 pounds with a face mangled by surgery and she cheated on her taxes. But she has been a kind of amazing hustler ever since she started a middle school baby-sitting ring in high school that became a sort of a precursor to the Madam business. (Did the Baby-sitters Club series inspire a prostitution ring?) "When you walk in Fleiss's front door, you are met by a large white poster of a devilish red man under the words 'Male Aggression Now Playing Everywhere,'" writes ELLE. Also: she lives among a few hundred parrots, was a prison lesbian even though she hates screwing girls, inspired one prison "girlfriend" to get out of the drug business and start her own business, and comes across like a genuinely good person. "Who was it, Oscar Wilde, I think, who said people can adjust to anything. I was perfectly adjusted in the penitentiary, and I was perfectly adjusted to living in a chateau in France," she tells the magazine, in one of the numerous instances you can't help but think "Oh dude wise." Seriously though, a lot of dudes think sex workers have all sorts of fucked-up opinions about men because they only see "clients" but I think this just assumes women are as incapable of appreciating nuance as men are. Sex workers are some of the wisest bitches in this country.

The Once And Future Madam [ELLE]

• Lindsay Lohan celebrated her entrance into the ranks of legal drinkers at Courteney Cox's Malibu home, which we can only imagine portends an appearance on Courteney's show Dirt wherein Lindsay works for an upstart celebrity news service that gets tipped off to the scene of a young starlet's drunk driving crash. Because at this point that is, like, "funny." Ha ha! [Gatecrasher]
  
• President Bush's decision to play Sheriff Lee Baca to Scooter Libby's Paris Hilton is condemned by Dems, defended by Rudy and Fred Thompson and given the "uhh, I need to actually go back and figure out what this case was about" by the other Republican candidates.
  
• Pete Doherty framed a forlorn scribbled message of love for on/off girlfriendKate Moss. She did not accept it. He then, somewhat histrionically, smashed it in a driveway. Ah, love! [The Sun]

• We can't decide whether Spice Girl Geri Halliwell is the J. Mascis or the Lou Barlow of the Spice Girls reunion. [The Sun]
• Lily Allen imagines the American prison system is probably nicer and more accommodating than the English one. Perhaps because it is run so profitably? [NYMag]
• Prince William and Kate Middleton canoodle from three seats away. [The Sun]
• You know how they say the stars are just like us? When an empty can of cat food stolen out of our trash fetches $305 on Ebay we'll agree with you. [Yahoo News]