• Nicole Richie has obtained a restraining order, preventing two celebrity photographers from coming close to her or her kids.

Nicole claims that one of the snappers trespassed at her home and the photographers often stomp their feet on the ground to try to get a reaction from her. [AP]

• In court, Nicole Richie's lawyer called Joel Madden her husband, but he misspoke; the Nicole and Joel are not married. [TMZ]
• SHOCKER: Robert Pattinson will be People's "Sexiest Man Alive." [OMG Blog]
• Whoa: Oprah has to get a pay cut if she wants to keep doing her show? How will she be able to afford her favorite things?!?! [NY Post]
• Avast me hearties! Johnny Depp has agreed to a $35 million pay deal to be in the fourth Pirates Of The Caribbean film, which makes him the highest-earning actor in Hollywood. That's a lot of dubloons, savvy? [Telegraph]
• Kate Hudson was asked if Alex Rodriguez actually has a painting of himself as a centaur in his house. She dodged the question, sorta, saying "That is the craziest thing anyone has ever asked me." Video at the link. [MTV News]
• Great Scot! Behold: Gerard Butler in a kilt. [Gatecrasher]
• "Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch" suspect Alexis Neiers pled not guilty to breaking into Orlando Bloom's house yesterday. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton's brother Barron got one of the "Burglar Bunch" bounced from a club Saturday night. [Page Six]
• In case you missed it, Sarah Palin called Levi Johnston an aspiring porn star on Oprah. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Oh, and Sarah Palin won't go on Letterman, because: "I don't think that I'd want to boost his ratings." [NY Post]
• Levi Johnston's Playgirl shoot did not include full frontal nudity. [People]
• Anthony Michael Hall's ex-girlfriend has a restraining order against him after he allegedly stalked her and attacked her in her apartment. Farmer Ted's spokesman says: "All of the allegations are erroneous and will be addressed accordingly." [Page Six]
• The Los Angeles City Council would like to get back $3.2 million the city spent on Michael Jackson's memorial service. A spokesman says: "During these tough economic times right now, that's big money. We're laying off, people are getting furloughed...It's still money that we put out for a memorial service for Michael Jackson." [E!]
• Meanwhile, Joe Jackson is claiming that Michael Jackson's name was forged on his will and is trying to get the executors of the will fired. [TMZ]
• Cindy Crawford's alleged blackmailer, Edis Kayalar, has turned himself in at a police station in Stuttgart, Germany. [AP]
• The Today show cancelled Al Roker's interview with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, so, naturally, Spencer Tweeted some rude things about Al. For example: "WEATHERMAN I thought you were out of town today getting your stomache[sic] stapled again?" And: "you look very sick? Do you always look like your[sic] about to die? How old are you 97? You should retire asap- No one would even know?" [Us Magazine]
• A judge in Massachusetts has thrown out a lawsuit accusing Elisabeth Hasselbeck of plagiarism in her book about celiac disease. [AP]
• A paparazzo kept on calling Becki Newton "Kelly Ripa." So Becki rolled with it and did her best Kelly impression. [Page Six]
• Congressman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) thinks Carrie Prejean should have a career in politics. [TMZ]
• No one recognizes Robin Wright Penn with her dark hair. [Gatecrasher]
• Wait: Robin Wright Penn is now Robin Wright. And she was overheard at the screening of her film The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee saying: "This is all about new beginnings for me." [Page Six]
• Lady Gaga's tour without Kanye is already a success, as tickets are selling out super quick. [Gatecrasher]
• Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris will star in TMI, a flick about too much honesty in a relationship. [Variety]
• Anna Faris has also been cast in a romcom called Wedding Bannned, in which she'll play Robin Williams' daughter. The story? "A long-divorced couple kidnap their daughter (Faris) on her wedding day to prevent her from making the same mistakes they did. The parents rekindle their relationship as they elude cops and the angry groom." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• BREAKING: Lindsay Lohan is the top fashion party attendee in New York. [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley threw a birthday party for the guy who wrote New York Minute, aka one of the worst movies I have ever seen. [Page Six]
• Twilight fans in LA are already camped out to see New Moon. [NY Daily News]
• Hey, look, a Britloid published a lie and apologized again! This time they printed erroneous info about Sharon Osbourne. [Daily Express]
• Mary J. Blige says her song for Precious is fairly personal: "I went into the studio and cried hard, reaching back." [Variety]
• Heather Locklear = "drama" and "diva antics" on the set of Melrose Place. There was a button missing on her jacket and she allegedly said: "You've got to be (bleeping) kidding me, right? What kind of operation is this?" Then she stormed off. Allegedly. [MSNBC via the National Enquirer]
• In the piece at the link, Heather Locklear talks about Melrose Place, saying: "I saw the pilot and I wasn't sure, still. But then I saw the second episode and I thought, 'This is really fun, the clothes are great and now they're starting to get into some story lines.' And I went, 'I'm in. If I'm not the one who killed Sydney, I'm in." [LA Times]
• Congrats to Adriana Lima and hubs Marko Jaric, who welcomed a baby girl, Valentina Lima Jaric, in NYC on Sunday. [NY Daily News]
• Tila Tequila has filed a lawsuit against her ex, football player Shawne Merriman. She's using pictures of her bruises as evidence. [TMZ]
• Wow, the CW might bring back Mischa Barton's show The Beautiful Life, even though it was cancelled after two episodes. Tough times? [NY Daily News]
• Tom Waits' daughter painted Hilary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi lying down and embracing each other in their undies?!?! [Page Six]
• RIP Ken Ober, host of MTV's Remote Control. [NY Times]
• "[We're] becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits." — Clint Eastwood, to GQ. [NY Daily News]
• "It is all on Steve. Steve Martin has done this before, while for me it is the first time. All the pressure is on Steve Martin." — Alec Baldwin is not worried about hosting the Oscars. [People]
• "Everyone seems to enjoy it. But I don't think it's that funny." — Kathie Lee Gifford on Kristen Wiig's impersonation of her on SNL. [NY Daily News]
• "[I had ] big boobs because I was breast-feeding; I was perfect for it. I wouldn't get cast now." — Nicole Kidman on her role in Nine. [Gatecrasher]
• "The idea that there has been a sullying of my image ... I'm not going to be buried with an Us Weekly. I don't give a (expletive) about it anymore, I can't worry about it and I don't worry about it. And I don't think people want me to worry about it." — John Mayer is all about the music, you guys. [AP]
• "When you say to a girl, 'I play golf,' her eyes glaze over. I do feel guilty about my golf. You know you're a sad case when you spend your spare time reading books on putting or going on YouTube to watch slow motion golf swings. I'll get out of bed in the middle of the night and practice my swing in front of a mirror. I'm obsessed and it's destroying my life. Golf is an addiction." — Hugh Grant. [Daily Express]
• "You're looking at someone who would get the belt every day. 'Will you shut up, Susan!' - whack! I was often left behind at school because of one thing or another. I was a slow learner… I'm just — I'm a wee bit slower at picking things up than other people. So you get left behind in a system that just wants to rush on, you know? There's nothing worse than another person having power over you by bullying you and you not knowing how to get rid of that thing." — Susan Boyle. [AFP]
• "My whole dating thing, I've been kind of chillin'… I mean, I'm Chris Brown. I'm not saying it like that, but it's just, like, girls are going to be around. I love women. But I would say I've just been chillin'. I haven't really been trying to get into a relationship or trying to date anybody." — Chris Brown. [MSNBC via MTV News]
• "I never planned to write a book. I wasn't planning on a career in writing, I wasn't thinking about stories I wanted to write down. But I had a dream… My husband thought I'd gone crazy. I didn't speak to him for ages because I had all these weird things going on in my head. I wasn't telling him about this vampire obsession because I knew he'd freak out and think I'd lost my mind." — Twilight author Stephenie Meyer. [Daily Express]
• "I finally had a healthy beautiful baby girl and I couldn't look at her. I couldn't hold her and I couldn't sing to her and I couldn't smile at her… All I wanted to do was disappear and die. [I believed] I should not exist. The baby would be better off without me. Life was never going to get better – so I better just go." — Broke Shields discussed her post-partum suicidal thoughts on Monday while receiving an advocacy award from the Hope for Depression Research Foundation in Manhattan. [People]
• "In Vancouver, shooting New Moon, I tried something. They have this thought that no one there wears hoods except for problem people. It's the only city in the world where hoods are not fashionable. It's like if you're wearing a hood you're going to mug people. So it's a boring disguise, but it worked when I wore a hood. And then I'd sort of spit on the ground a little bit and do a little bit of shaking around as you're walking. Everyone moved around to the other side of the street." — Robert Pattinson, on being "in disguise." [Time]

• Dina Lohan is pissed that Michael Lohan keeps leaking recordings of Dina and Lindsay's phone calls to him. "The tapes were from a long time ago, and for a father to stoop this low is unforgivable," she says. And:

"My ex-husband has been in and out of jail for 10 years. My children and I gave him a chance to get to know them again, and he clearly blew that chance!" And: "I have had a criminal order of protection from the domestic violence sector since 2005. He was not supposed to even be harassing me by phone." Lastly, if you're still listening: "My heart is breaking for my children that he could do this. He has no visitation anymore and is six months behind in child support. The authorities have been alerted!" [E!]

• Hey, guess what? Michael Lohan has released another recording of a phone conversation between himself and Dina Lohan. She blames him for Lindsay cutting herself, and says: "It's bad." And Dina believes that "something's gonna happen" and it'll be all Michael's fault. [Radar Online]
• Rosie O'Donnell and Megan Fox are afraid of Angelina Jolie. Kristen Stewart says she doesn't want to be like Angelina Jolie. This column asks, Is Hollywood turning on Angelina Jolie? Eh, do you think she gives a shit? [MSNBC Scoop]
• This daytime noir Donnie Darko-esque promo for James Franco on General Hospital is kind of fucking awesome. "Anyone can die at anytime!" [NY Magazine]
• Miss J says of his 7-year-old son: "He insists on wearing nice shoes. I think somehow my fashion genes must have slipped in there." [Us Magazine]
• Kate Hudson is "pushing" A-Rod to elope. Because that's what women do! [Gatecrasher]
• Rihanna spent more than $50,000 to fly her family to New York from Barbados for the Glamour Awards. [Page Six]
• You can watch Rihanna's speech from the Glamour Woman of the Year Awards at the link. A snippet: "Maya Angelou, I love you, but you make this terribly difficult for me." [YouTube]
• LOL headline of the day, via Russell Brand: "Katy Can't Do Your Show… She's Doing Me Instead." [The Sun]
• Kristen Stewart on those who ask whether she and Rob are an item: "The only way that I'm able to stay sane is to protect myself, and like, I know that it doesn't matter how you answer a question, it's going to tip. Someone's going to say, 'She's totally with him,' or, 'No, I don't think she is,' so it's sort of like, I don't care. You just have to seriously be like, have it, have it all. Take my, you know what I mean, just like, you want my shoes? Here you go, what size do you wear?" [ET]
• The 40-year-old women following Zac Efron around were just trying to get his picture for their daughters. No, really. [Page Six]
• Emma Thompson made some comments about her adopted Rwandan son had been subjected to racism at the University of Exeter, and now the Culture Secretary has said: "Miss Thompson is a great actress, but her comments about Exeter… are insulting… Any incidence of racism is one too many, but Exeter comes top or near top in every survey of places for friendliness and quality of life." [Telegraph]
• Sharon Stone was at a fancy Madison Avenue salon and used a private room; Queen Noor of Jordan was also there to get her hair done, but sat in the main area with the plebes. [Page Six]
• The David Letterman blackmail case is "all out war." [NY Post]
• Michael Jackson's funeral bills are in. Total cost: $855,730.31. [TMZ]
• Janet Jackson, called here "the only Jackson who was flush with cash," fronted $49,000 for Michael Jackson's funeral. She'll be reimbursed via his estate, which will also pay the remaining balance. [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson, who was trying to object to Michael Jackson's will and executors, has been shut down by a judge. [TMZ]
• An Andy Warhol portrait of Michael Jackson sold for $812,000 in an auction last night. [NY Post]
• "Winona Ryder and Barry Pepper have been cast to star in the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie When Love Is Not Enough: The Lois Wilson Story." It's the true story of the co-founder of Al-Anon and her alcoholic husband, who lived the high life in the 1920s but a downfall by the 50s. [Variety]
• Playgirl wanted to shoot Levi Johnston in the penthouse of a certain downtown hotel but didn't have enough cash to pay the fee. [Page Six]
• Dominique Swain, who once posed for PETA, has reportedly been "caught" dumping unvaccinated puppies at an animal shelter. [ONTD, Fox 411]
• Heather Locklear's return to Melrose Place is a desperate attempt to get people to care. Is it working on you? Then check out this clip from the show in which Heather — playing Amanda — says, "When I hired you to give this place a makeover, I didn't mean smear it with lipstick and turn it into a five-dollar hooker." [People]
• Celine Dion is adding a "pool complex" to her home in Jupiter Island, Florida — with "two giant pools, waterslides and a lazy river, much like an amusement park." One neighbor complains: "Distasteful is what it looks like - the whole thing sounds like a Michael Jackson fairyland to me." [MSNBC Scoop via Life & Style]
• Some dude is suing Bon Jovi, Time Warner and Major League Baseball for $400 billion, yeah, BILLION, dollars. He claims that he wrote an ode to the Boston Red Sox entitled, "(Man I Really) Love this Team." During the 2007 playoffs, Bon Jovi released a song, "I Love This Town," and the guy took the case to court. One judge dismissed it, but the guy is appealing. [Reuters]
• George Lopez's new late night talk show debuted with strong ratings. Did anyone watch? I found it only mildly funny, with too many race jokes. But I didn't watch the whole thing. [Reuters]
• Steven Tyler supposedly quit Aerosmith, but last night he showed up at an NYC club for Joe Perry's show, announced he wasn't leaving Aerosmith, and joined in on "Walk This Way." My friend Matt says: "If anyone can save the future of Aerosmith by settling the feud between Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, it's got to be Tyler Perry." [Roger Friedman's 411.com] 
• Shakira hugged and 11-year-old fan and it is news. [Page Six]
• Sir Ian McKellan mocked Jude Law at a charity event; Jude swore, "I go home religiously every night after Hamlet." Sir Ian joked, "I guess the night I saw you, you went home via [popular NYC nightclub] the Box." [La Dolce Musto]
• Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks have broken up. [People]
• "A rare collection of Beatles autographs and photographs, given to a 14-year-old who traipsed across Salisbury plain in the rain to catch a glimpse of her heroes on the set of Help!, sold for £2,200 at auction in Berkshire yesterday." [Guardian]
• Rod Stewart, father of seven, is trying to have another baby with wife Penny Lancaster. Forever young? [People]
• Whatshername will be on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here but arrive late and earn five times more cash than other contestants. [The Sun]
• "I think there's a lot of persuasive and powerful people around Obama. For a president to make his own decisions, I think that's a rarity. Even someone who we think of as our guy — this is a guy with integrity, a guy who cares, for the first time in a long time — in the Oval Office, even with him we don't really know who's pulling the strings. I think of every president as being a marionette. Whether he's any different, I don't know. Certainly his military advisers all want him to prosecute this war to the end, just as they did in Vietnam with LBJ. It's just too depressing, I think we're going to have to hit the streets. Obama has the chance of becoming JFK or LBJ. I think JFK was one of our last great presidents, although I thought Carter was pretty great too. LBJ could have been a great president if he hadn't gotten bogged down in war, but that was quite a war to get bogged down in. Notwithstanding the fact that the war was wrong and they were talking about the Red Scare and the domino effect, if you go and read the Pentagon Papers they were also talking about rubber, tin and oil. They killed two and a half million people. What was it all for? In Korea they killed four and a half million. Like, we're liberating these people?" — Woody Harrelson plays a soldier in his intense new film The Messenger and, at the link, has lots of thoughts about war, death, the military and President Obama. [Salon]
• "They got in trouble because my children are riding their dirt bikes through the whole trailer park, going crazy, doing flips — and everyone's concerned for their safety. And mom's like, 'Oh, they've been riding the whole weekend, they're having a blast!' I was like, 'They're not allowed to ride their dirt bikes in the trailer park!' They terrorize the neighborhood the whole time." — Pamela Anderson's sons — 13 and 11 — are tiny terrors. [Contact Music]
• "I don't have to play scenes with actors standing on buckets." — Sigourney Weaver, 6 feet tall, says that she doesn't believe her height has ever intimidated leading men. [Telegraph]
• "I had a great time with Hef and the girls when they came to see Peepshow and hang out in Vegas.  I don't watch the other episodes though, because it kind of makes me mad. The girls need to focus on what makes them unique and not doing the same things Bridget, Kendra and I have already done on the show.  Even camping in the backyard was an idea I had for an episode that we never got around to shooting.  And guess what they just showed? The girls camping in the backyard.  I don't want to look behind, I want to look forward." — Holly Madison is annoyed by the new Girls Next Door. [Fox 411]
• "I don't know that [Oprah] and Gayle are necessarily doing each other, but I think they are the emotional equivalent of.. [a gay couple]. When they did that road trip, that's as gay as it gets, and I don't mean it to be an insult, either. I'm just saying, listen, if you ask me, that's the couple." — Rosie O'Donnell. [ONTD via Times Of The Internet]
• "These jeans are a few days old, but the top is probably fresh because it gets to the point where even I can't stand the air around me. I don't know, my personal hygiene - it's so disgusting! Really it's just that I have very few clothes that I like and I'm travelling all the time, so I can't really get any more." — we get it, Robert Pattinson, you're filthy. [MSNBC via New! magazine]
• "I love clothes, and fashion is a great art form. Being a woman and my femininity are very important to me. But with my work I have to check my preferences at the door and personify the character I am playing as best I can. Your character isn't who you are. That's the great thing about my job. I get to step into somebody else's shoes – whether that's a pair of flat brogues or some stilettos." — Hilary Swank. [Daily Mail]
• "I'd love to have kids… But I'm much to young to get married." — Shakira. [Gatecrasher]
• "The funny thing is that I was very open and honest about [my bisexuality] from the very beginning, and everyone was acting like it was some new trend. Go back four or five years, people, and you'll see the same answer. I've been very honest with him from the get-go. I think women are beautiful. I've had a lot of fun with women, and I'm not ashamed of it. The problem is that I also love a well-endowed man. But just because I enjoy women doesn't mean I'm allowed to have affairs in my relationship. I learned through talking with my therapist that it is still cheating even if it's with girls, so there is a rule there." — Fergie. [Us Magazine via The Advocate, Page Six]
• "Lady Gaga stole your act." — President Obama to Cyndi Lauper. [La Dolce Musto]

• Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem are engaged, according to a source, who also reports, "They tried to keep it very private and quiet" (and apparently aren't succeeding). Some suspect this rumored engagement may be related to her rumored pregnancy.

• Cruz's rep had no comment. [Us]
• On Today this morning, Kate Gosselin said of Jon Gosselin emptying $200,000 out of their joint bank account, "When you've left your children and their mother without the funds to pay for the roof over their head, it's not acceptable... I need that money to provide for them. We were in the position after our sextuplets were born that we could not pay our bills. We did the show to provide a better life for them. Never did I think I'd be back in the same position." She suggested that Jon's new aggressive behavior may be due to the new lawyer he hired after his first dropped him a few weeks ago. "I think he's receiving bad counsel. He's always been one to listen to the one next to him," she said. [People]
• Jon Gosselin says Kate's story is, "a total fabrication." He explains, "I've never taken any money out because over 10 years, Kate handled all the banking. Over the past four years of doing the show, we accrued $2,250,000. She says in the past week I took $230,000. I have withdrawn roughly $177,000 over the course of a year, which is less than 10 percent of what we made. That's like my paycheck." He continues, "She's hiding money... We have 11 bank accounts. That was just our joint account. She had a best-selling book. Where's that million dollars? I believe she's incriminating herself and not thinking clearly. She's wanting me to look bad. I didn't want these things to come public. I didn't want this to be embarrassing for her." [People]
• On Today Kate Gosselin wore the ring Jon gave her when they renewed their vows last year and says, "I'm changing them out. I'm switching them out." She said she's planning on buying herself a ring to replace her wedding band. "We discussed a ring I might buy," she said. "It has eight little diamonds and a mother of pearl." [People]
• The money Jon Gosselin took from their joint account was their only real source of living income. The Gosselins have a $720,000 mortgage on their $1.12 million home. They haven't sold the first home and have another mortgage on that house. However, there is money set aside for the children in a trust fund. [TMZ]
• Audio and video tapes of the police sting operation targeting Pleasant Bridgewater and Tarino Lightbourne are being played in court today. In one John Travolta's attorney says he can't give them $25 million because, "John doesn't have that kind of bread ... not even lying around." On another tape Bridgewater tells the attorney, "I just want to get this over with ... I don't want to hear about it again ... I feel so badly about the whole thing." [TMZ]
• According to a transcript of the tapes, at one point John Travolta's lawyer says, "We can do a little rug merchant negotiations here." [TMZ]
• Nicole Richie was rear ended by a paparazzo today. Sources say there was an adult male passenger but her kids were not in the car. She said she was in pain but wanted to go to her own doctor, not the ER. The other driver has been arrested for driving without a license. [TMZ]
• Method Man has been arrested for allegedly failing to pay income tax for four years. If convicted, he could face four years in jail. [TMZ]
• A judge has sealed a new report on Michael Jackson's children and says he doesn't need any further updates. "It looks like the children are really doing wonderfully with their grandmother guardian," he said. [L.A. Times]
• Robert Pattinson says, "I'm trying to write some songs for the next [Twilight] movie... I don't know if it will be possible because of my schedule, but I want to do it. Music is the other side of me, it's one of the things that complete me and I wouldn't want to leave it aside for anything in the world. I have the intention of evolving in that aspect. It's something I want to develop just as much as acting. I want to have a balance between those two things." [Ok]
• On Today, a lawyer for Robert "Joe" Halderman, the man accused of trying to extort money from David Letterman, said Dave is a "master manipulator of the media," and that evidence will come out in court to exonerate Halderman. However when pressed, he couldn't say what that evidence might be. [People]
• According to a poll of 505 Late Show viewers, David Letterman's sex/extortion scandal hasn't changed their opinion of him much. 22 percent said they have a more negative perception of him now; 23 percent said they have a more positive perception of him now; and 55 percent said there is no change in their perception of Letterman. [UPI]
• Police say they found a suicide note on the computer found in the hotel room where Ryan Jenkins hanged himself. He never admits to killing Jasmine Fiore in the document, but apologizes to his friends and family for the pain he caused them. In the letter he blames Jasmine for the situation he's in and says he loves and hates her at different points. [TMZ]
• Guests at Patrick Swayze's memorial yesterday were greeted by a white horse he owned with Patrick's boots facing backwards in the stirrups, "It's an old horseman tradition," says a source. The memorial was held on the Sony Studios lot and was attended by several hundred people. "A whole dance floor was built," says another source. "The dancers did these amazing numbers." [People]
• Two independent record labels are suing Guns N' Roses for $1 million because they claim the group used songs by German musician Ulrich Schnauss on their album Chinese Democracy. [Reuters]
• Backstreet Boy Brian Litrell has H1N1. [TMZ]
• Carla Bruni-Sarkozy launched carlabrunisarkozy.org today to promote her charity work and reveal bits of her life as France's first lady, but the site crashed after being featured on the front page of several French news sites. [AFP]
• Previous reports claimed that DJ AM's property generated $3.5 million per year, but it turns out that was the total value of his properties. [TMZ]
• MTV will air DJ AM's addiction series Gone Too Far beginning on October 12. The network released a statement from his family saying, "It is our hope through airing this show that people will get to see the side of Adam that we knew and loved, not just the celebrity DJ, but the honest and caring person who gave so much of himself to help others." [TMZ]
• Antonio Banderas has been ordered to demolish part of his beachfront Spanish villa after losing a court battle. He built part of his home into a public beach area and reportedly turned down an offer to buy the land from the community for £2 million. [Daily Express]
• Eddie Cibrian's estranged wife Brandi Glanville says, "I have a new neighbor and her name is LeAnn Rimes. She's moved in a half a mile from my house and a block from my son's school. So she is completely space invading me at the moment so things are not cool," adding, "There is a point where she needs to have a sensitive side and back the F up." [Us]
• Just so you know, "Sherri Shepherd Still Has Jiggly Thighs" [People]
• Maggie Smith says receiving chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments for breast cancer have left her "flattened" with no energy or confidence. "I'm frightened to work in theatre now. I feel very uncertain. I haven't done it for a while," said Smith, who is 74, adding, "I think it's the age I was when it happened. It takes you longer to recover, you are not so resilient." [The Daily Mail]
• Anne Heche says she won't introduce her sons to her mother because she works with Focus on the Family to preach against homosexuality. She joined the group after Heche's father, a closet homosexual who sexually abused Heche, died of AIDS in 1983. Heche says, "My mother preaches to this day the opposite of that core of my life. It is no mistake that she still stands up against love. And one wonders why I'm not rushing to have her meet my children." [Daily Express]
• Here's a blind item of sorts: Sarah Paulson says of a script she read recently, "All I can tell you is it's, like, a humongous famous actor and, like, the most famous director ever. It was like this movie is like the hottest movie and I literally threw it across the room - like, This is terrible. The state of the business right now, it's like some of the most famous actors in the world are taking parts that normally people like me could get, but now I can't get them because really famous people want them because they're not making as many movies. So when the script turns around, everyone gets all excited, and I was like, "Wow, they can have it. This thing sucks." [NY Magazine]
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz says of Heather Locklear joining the new Melrose Place, "She's great. She's fantastic. I really, truly believe that she's part of the heart of the show. She's so sweet and has a great energy, so it's great to have her on the show." [People]
• "It's sad when you realize you can't be the angry young man anymore. The angry young man is barely ever interesting, and tolerable in his 20s. But his late 20s? Early 30s? God forbid late 30s? You can't anymore. I'm in a business where I get to make pretend for a living, so what the fuck am I angry about? There's nothing anymore; I'm a very content, middle aged man. People are like 'Ah when are Jay and Silent Bob coming back?' And I'm like 'I don't think they are. I'm fuckin' 39! I can't just put my fuckin' hat on backwards." — Kevin Smith [The Huffington Post]
• Carrie Fisher says of sharing the details of her life in various memoirs, "The fact that I can make somebody laugh at this stuff-it can be very cathartic. If you claim something, you can own it. But if you have it as a shameful secret, you're fucked; you're sitting in a room populated by elephants. I have a lot of elephants to kill. But I also have a lot to be grateful for. Most of my problems are high-class. As Mike Nichols used to say, ‘The champagne is flat and the caviar has run out-will it never end?'" [Vanity Fair]

• Kate Gosselin says that though Jon Gosselin called the breeder and had their two family dogs taken away, "They'll come back I'm sure at some point. But for now, I just needed a break."

• She explained: "He called the breeder and took them back for a short period of time. I'm feeling like I have not enough time to take care of my kids, let alone give the dogs what they need, and the kids surprisingly weren't that upset about it." Kate added that she's amazed by the strength of the dogs saying, "They sleep in a metal crate... a huge metal crate. They bent the bars and got out. I think in the winter I'm going to have them pull the kids in a sleigh." [Radar Online]
• On last night's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8, Kate Gosselin took her kids to an Amish farm, then took her daughter Cara to the radiologist to get her foot scanned. Jon did not appear on the episode and Kate said, "It feels very normal to be here by myself, to take care of the kids not with Jon but with a babysitter... It's starting to feel like the pity party is gone." [People]
• Here's one way to combat bullying: Amy Winehouse showed up at a school in London and spit on and insulted a girl she heard was bullying her 13-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield. After a bystander broke up the incident Amy signed a few autographs and left. [Radar Online]
• Amy Winehouse has started working with Mark Ronson again on her third album. Rapper Lethal Bizzle says, "I was talking to Mark about Amy. He thinks she's getting better and they are working together and will start recording soon. Everything he does is awesome. I think he's brilliant and was excited when he wanted to work on my album. Me and Amy go way back too. We did gigs when I was in a band called More Fire Crew. She was proper cool. I reckon it will be another great album." [The Sun]
• A YouTube video of Beyonce singing "Halo" to 11-year-old cancer patient Chelsea James in Australia has gone viral. Watch it here: [News.com.au]
• Kelly Osbourne reportedly broke down in tears before her performance on Dancing With the Stars last night because she got nervous and texted her mother Sharon, but security wouldn't let her in. "Sharon didn't have the proper credentials," says a source from the show. "Ever since last season's scare with Shawn Johnson and her stalker, security has been beefed up big time." [Perez Hilton]
• Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman's play A Steady Rain was one of the top three earners on Broadway last week. It's rare for a non-musical to crack the top 10. [Variety]
• Michael Lawrance Kozelka, who was arrested for allegedly stalking Jewel, last week after showing up to her house with a pocket knife and a dog. the local sheriff says, "He was not aggressive and was not mad... He just said he was on a mission from God, that God told him to come to Stephenville and led him to this ranch." [AP]
• The CW announced that Heather Locklear will guest star on the new Melrose Place by issuing a press release titled, "The Bitch Is Back!" [Mercury News]
• Police inspector Andrew Wells testified in the John Travolta extortion trial today that John initially wanted his son Jett to be taken to the airport instead of a local hospital in the Bahamas. It has been previously reported that John thought it would take just as long to get to Florida, and Jett would get better care there. [TMZ]
• Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen are being sued by a pair of paparazzi who claim their bodyguards shot at them during after their wedding in Costa Rica. They say they had clearance to take pictures from a nearby property, but bodyguards harassed them anyway, then shot at them with pistols as they tried to escape in their SUV. [TMZ]
• Ashton Kutcher's Facebook video series KatalystHQ is a hit. So far it has been viewed by 9 million people since its February debut. [Media Week]
• In the video at the link celebrities including Will Ferrell and Jon Hamm appear in a fake PSA urging Americans to think about the plight of the health insurance companies if Obama manages to overhaul the health care system. [Politico]
• Oksana Grigorieva says even though she's pregnant with Mel Gibson's baby, they haven't even considered marriage. "Actually we have no plans to marry whatsoever," she said. "I haven't thought about it – we haven't spoken about it." [People]
• Scott Storch ended his friendship with Brandon Davis because Davis allegedly confessed to stealing one of his diamond watches. [Contact Music]
• Eminem's music publisher Eight Mile Style LLC is suing Apple for copyright infringement for allegedly selling 93 of his songs on iTunes without permission. [AP]
• Gina Gershon's former agents are suing her because they claim they got her a job on Broadway, but she refused to pay them the 10% commission on the deal. The suit describes her as a "user" who "chooses to forget about those people who help her in her career." [TMZ]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom just registered at Williams Sonoma, so their guest have less than a week to pick up a gift for their wedding on Sunday. [TMZ]
• Katie Price says her friendship with her "dressage instructor" Andrew Gould angered her ex-husband Peter Andre and contributed to their breakup. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Federline has signed on for the next season of Celebrity Fit Club. His ex Shar Jackson and Bobby Brown will also be on the show. [TMZ]
• Seth Green is the new spokesman for Butterfinger. He'll keep using Bart Simpson's line, "Nobody's gonna lay a finger on my Butterfinger." [Brandweek]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom will marry on Sunday at the home of family friend and music manager Irving Azoff. A source says, "It will be a very detailed and classy affair." [People]
• Though Bruce Willis married Emma Heming in March, he says it "seems like less than a month. She's not only my best friend, but my wife." [People]
• Jeweler Neil Lane says Zooey Deschanel and Benjamin Gibbard were "absolutely adorable" when they came in to pick out their wedding rings last month. There are pictures of Zooey's rings here: [People]
• Jordan Belfi says of his character on Entourage, "Adam Davies has become ... one of the few characters on the show that really knows how to get under Ari's skin and push his buttons. Ari is an entertaining character, and it's fun to watch him go after things, but people really enjoy kind of when Ari's off balance." [CNN]
• Lost star Sonya Walger who will appear on the new show FlashForward, says, "I got married six weeks ago... It's just a sweet thing. I haven't got a better word for it. It's an enormous amount of sweetness." [People]
• Michael Emerson, who plays Ben Linus on Lost, says he wants to be on True Blood with his wife Carrie Preston. "I think it would be fun if I got to play her father," he said. "I would go on any Alan Ball show to do just about anything. I will be the face in the window, I will be the cab driver… I don't want to be a vampire." [Ok]
• Angela Lansbury and Catherine Zeta-Jones will star in a new Broadway production of A Little Night Music beginning in November. [Press Release]
• On October 12 George Takei and his husband Brad Altman will become the first gay couple to appear on The Newlywed Show. Takei says, "We get to show how normal and happy our 22 year relationship is. We got married last year but we've been together for 22 years, so we may have a leg up on the other newlyweds!" [Fancast]
• Mackenzie Phillips will appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show tomorrow to talk about how she hid in her home, made compulsive purchases and struggled with personal issues. She's expected to reveal a family secret she's kept hidden for 31 years. [CNN]
• When asked how she juggles motherhood and her career Jennifer Garner said, "You just take it one day at a time. Oh gosh, let me know when you figure that out. I don't think anyone has it." [People]
• Leelee Sobieski, who is expecting her first child later this year says, "I think I like eating what little kids eat... I eat less ice cream now than I did before because the baby takes up space." [People]
• "Apparently, there's a lot of debate going on right now, whether I'm qualified or not to be the new judge on 'American Idol'... I'll tell you right now, how I know I'm going to be a great judge — because I've spent my whole life being judged. So, I know what it's like. So, I will be kind. I will be compassionate. I will be empathetic, and I will be truthful. I will be an honest judge without being mean." — Ellen DeGeneres [Entertainment Tonight]
• Taye Diggs says that since Idina Menzel gave birth to their son Walker last month, "It's been amazing just to come home to that little dude... Every time I leave the house, it just makes me want to come back even more. It's just a great prize waiting for me." He added, "I have a newfound respect and admiration that borders on worship of my wife... Just to see her turn into a mother overnight is amazing." [People]
• Master interviewer Larry King asked Tyra Banks if she still "thinks like a fat person" now that she's lost weight. She replied: " I don't actually. You know... when I told the world to kiss my fat ass, I remained that size for two years. I maintained it with my ice cream and my salad with ranch and dressing and croutons and bacon bits. Like I — I didn't look at myself even on television and think that I was too big or — I don't know. I didn't — it didn't connect. But since I have lost a lot of weight, and it started with the — a weight loss challenge, actually at the top of this year. So I'm two years after 'kiss my fat ass.'" [CNN]

• Lindsay Lohan left her phone in a New York deli. When she came back to retrieve it an employee wanted to check the security tape to make sure it was hers, which made Linds freak out and call the cops.

• By the time the police showed up the situation had been "diffused." The deli worker said he had no idea who she was. [TMZ]
• Kate Gosselin has been spending her weekends away from the kids with bodyguard Steve Neild... and his wife. A source says his wife Gina, "is one of her closest friends, so she and Steve invited Kate to spend the first weekend she had to be away from the kids as a way to show their support."[Radar Online]
• In yet another interview, Kate Major said of Jon Gosselin, "I don't have a lot of respect for him. I think he handled the situation very poorly. He did not act like an adult or a grown man or a father. And it's just sad. I think the fame has just gone to his head and he's on some bachelor romp... You cannot treat people (that way). It's not fair to me, it's not fair to Hailey, it's not fair to his ex-wife, his kids or anyone else involved in the situation." [CBS News]
• Police searched the San Diego hotel where Ryan Jenkins and Jasmine Fiore were staying two days before she was found dead. The hotel's general manager doesn't think she was killed there because the walls are thin and there were no disturbances reported, but they may have gone to a poker party at a nearby Hilton on the night she died. [TMZ]
• Sources say Jasmine Fiore was strangled after midnight last Friday and surveillance videos show Jenkins leaving a hotel with a suitcase that may have held her body. He is seen leaving the hotel with other luggage but Jasmine never left. The car he left in and her cell phone have not been found. It seems the text her friend received from her phone that said "suck it" was sent long after she was dead. [TMZ]
• The producers of Megan Wants A Millionaire say they were not aware of Ryan Jenkins' record when he was cast on the show and would have never let him on if they did know. A statement from the company said that they, "did have in place what it thought was a thorough vetting process that involved complete background checks by an outside company for all contestants on its shows. Clearly, the process did not work properly in this case." [People]
• Jasmine Fiore's former fiancé Travis Heinrich says that she was hiding a phone line from her husband because he'd go through her texts and that she told him a month ago she was "in over her head" and didn't know how to get out of their relationship. Heinrich says he saw Jenkins hit Flore in the arm so hard that she fell backwards into a pool. [People]
• Commercials for 1-800-YES-GIRL featuring Jasmine Fiore are still running on TV, but the company says they pulled the ads in January and they shouldn't be airing on any station. [TMZ]
• A judge denied Nadya Suleman's petition to block outside guardians from overseeing her children's finances. The judge recommended the Department of Social Services investigate the matter. [Radar Online]
• Katy Perry yelled at airport security personnel going through her five suitcases after a 26 hour journey from Australia to Scotland. She says, "I swear, I never feel more like cattle than when I have to go through airport security. They hate their lives and they hate us for sure. By the last flight, the third time going through security, I lost it on a security person." [Daily Express]
• Miley Cyrus was seen kissing her Australian co-star Liam Jemsworth in an airport in Tennessee. [Daily Express]
• Yesterday Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie took Maddox and Pax to a local pet shop to buy gerbils, goldfish, and a cactus. On Wednesday they took Shiloh and Zahara out to lunch and both girls wore stick on tattoos. [Us]
• Penelope Cruz says she's going to reduce her workload, fueling speculation that she's pregnant. She says: "I realised I was measuring the years going by according to whatever the films were I was working on, the countries I was shooting in. I was a total workaholic. I think that's what I needed to do then. Now I can work, but I'm not on movie sets the whole year. I can say no until there is something I really need to do." [Daily Express]
• In light of Susan Boyle's mental breakdown this year's X Factor contestants will be given psychological tests before appearing on the show. [The Sun]
• Heather Locklear is in talks to reprise her role as Amanda Woodward on the new Melrose Place. [People]
• Carrie Prejean is in talks to compete on season three of The Apprentice. "Carrie really wants to do it," says an insider.. "[Donald] Trump keeps going back and forth over it, he doesn't really care either way." [Fox News]
• Carrie Prejean's lawyer says she will not be on Celebrity Apprentice explaining, "they couldn't work it out with her schedule." [TMZ]
• Roger Avary, the Oscar-winning screenwriter of Pulp Fiction has plead guilty to vehicular manslaughter and drunk driving. He was driving when his car hit a telephone pole, injuring his wife and killing a passenger. [Hollywood Reporter]
• LeAnn Rimes was questioned by police about her involvement with a hit-and-run in Brentwood and then went to hang out with Eddie Cibrian. A source says she rear ended a car stopped in the left turn lane and no one was injured. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's burial has been delayed again. Now it will take place on September 3. Joe Jackson says the family requested August 31, but that day was too problematic because that's when schools reopen. [TMZ]
• La Toya Jackson is in talks to appear on the British show Strictly Come Dancing. A source said, "La Toya would be a great name to have on the show - if she chats about Michael live on TV, or dedicates an emotional performance to him, it will make for fantastic viewing." [The Mirror]
• Megan Fox will host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live on September 26. [Life & Style]
• Rosie O'Donnell addressed her marital problem in a poem describing her encounter with a TMZ reporter. She wrote: "read off his cheat sheet/'and u and ur wife... he said ...whats up with that'/marriage is hard i told him/when u r married 12 years/ lemme know how it goes /it aint easy" Also according to the poem, she saw District 9 last night and is sad the summer's almost over. [ONTD]
• One Tree Hill actor Antwon Tanner is facing 10 years in jail after pleading guilty to selling Social Security numbers. [Newsday]
• Director David Yates has picked the spot where Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be split into two films. Also, Jamie Waylett, who plays Crabbe and was convicted of marijuana possession will not be in the film. [MTV]
• Milla Jovovich and her fiancé, director Paul Anderson, are getting married on Saturday. "It's going to be small," she says, "It's just going to be family and close friends. And it's at our home and it's going to be kind of Havana/Cuban, like very California-Spanish feeling. It's going to be nice." [People]
• Moving to Lifetime didn't hurt Project Runway's ratings. The season premiere had 4.2 million viewers, making it the network's biggest premiere ever as well as the biggest Project Runway premiere ever. [E!]
• At the link Daniel Vosovic and Korto Momolu talk about the results of the Project Runway All Star Challenge. If you still have it Tivoed, there are big spoilers. They say of Chris March: "You don't understand, we thought there was a health issue. He slept for probably half the time. You know how much of a slap in the face it is to all of us who are scrambling to get our collections done? He slept for probably half the time... It was insane! I guess he just knows how to execute an idea really quickly." [People]
• Daniel Vosovic says Nina Garcia is his favorite judge because, "She just has a way of cutting through the [foolishness] like no one else. As an editor it's her job to look and be aware of what everyone else is doing. I think that perspective is something that not all the judges have, which is what makes the entire panel great. I think that as an editor she's just really good at what she does and her feedback is just so spot-on." [L.A. Times]
• Hilary Duff says since she's been working on Gossip Girl, "Everyone's been really, really gracious to me and sweet to me... I'm a huge fan of the show. They called me and said come on and do a few episodes. I jumped at the chance." [People]
• Robin Williams says of his three adult children, "I'm so proud of them in different ways, but have they always been cherubs? No, but that's been part of the process. And am I the 'world's greatest dad?' Not at all, I'm a work-in-progress, but I love them." [Reuters]
• When asked about her boyfriend Dominic Cooper, Amanda Seyfriend said 'Things end. Things end. And we're in a weird business. We're surrounded by just strange people, strange influences,." Now he's reportedly been caught making out back stage with one of his co-stars in a London play. 'One of the cast walked in on them - and it didn't look like it was part of the play,' says the source. 'It was just the two of them and they looked quite surprised to have been disturbed. [Daily Mail]
• Jane Lynch, who played Julia Child's sister in Julie & Julia, said of working with Meryl Streep, "I did my best to hold it together inside, because you're working with someone who is not only a legend, but somebody who has been a hero of mine for a long time. So you kind of have to let that go and just do your job. ... We were shooting in a restaurant in Brooklyn, and we were waiting for the light so we could cross into our trailers. And she slipped her arm in mine and we crossed the street together, and I - aaach! - it was wonderful." [AP]
• RHONY's Bethenny Frankel blogged about last night's episode of RHOA saying, "Kim hit the skids for me by bringing or even associating with Michael Lohan. I once hosted a panel with him and Nene hilariously said it right when she said, 'Michael Lohan, how random is that?' Michael Lohan is a termite whose own daughter won't associate with him. He has leeched onto Jill Zarin and Jon Gosselin and now has moved to Atlanta. What an embarrassment. I cried when Nene said for him to get his ass back to Malibu. Unfortunately, he probably can't afford Malibu. His last name might as well be Ho-han. That man is a press ho, and coming from me, that's a pretty big statement." [E!]

[Los Angeles, June 20. Image via WENN]

[Calabasas, California; January 6. Image via Flynet]

• Lindsay and Sam rang in 2009 with yet another tear-drenched fight, this time at Miami International Airport. Linds was so inconsolable on the plane that she was asked if she'd like to disembark.

• As two of our favorite Lezebels, we hope these kids can work it out! [TMZ]
• Heather Locklear's DUI charges have been dismissed and she plead guilty to reckless driving, a misdemeanor. Locklear had prescription drugs in her system when she was arrested last September, but she'll only pay a $700 fine and have three years of informal probation. [TMZ]
• Alanis Morissette says that what inspired her to go on a diet and lose 20 lbs was longevity. "I realized I want to live till I’m 120. There’s a lifestyle that I am now happily creating that can, as best as is possible, prevent most forms of cancer and other diseases." Posing in pleather leggings in Ok! is just an added bonus. [ONTD]
• In his new audio book Ricky Gervais says he wants to tell people who have liposuction and gastric band operations, "You lazy f—-ing fat pig. Just go for a run and stop eating burgers. You might f—-ing die." We have a feeling Gervais may realize just how active the overweight can be when he's swamped with angry letters and phone calls. [The Telegraph]
• Molly Ringwald is pregnant with her second child! Insert your own Brat Pack/Pretty In Pink/Secret Life of the [Knocked Up] American Teenager joke here. [Star]
• Robert Pattinson's life is so hard because he has to wear gold (or perhaps topaz) contact lenses for the Twilight sequel New Moon. They are uncomfortable and hamper his acting. Note to Pattinson: if you whine this much about contacts, your chances of being offered Benjamin Button-type roles in the future are slim. [E!]
• K-Fed's new girlfriend Victoria Prince shares a birthday with Britney, which is clearly some kind of sign from the cosmos. Kevin has been a real gentlemen, opening the car door for his new lady and always paying for their bowling games. "They are definitely a couple – I have seen them kiss," says a source at their local bowling alley. "But they both seem focused on the bowling." [People]
• Despite rumors that Diddy was begging for inauguration tickets, his reps would like to inform you that Diddy does not beg for invites. He was offered tickets by the Obama camp for his work on the campaign trail. Says Diddy, "I'll see ya'll at the inauguration." [TMZ]
• It was reported yesterday that the millions Madonna raised for her own charity Raising Malawi had not been received by the foundation. But apparently they are just being processed by the LA Kaballah Center, which of course, makes perfect sense.[Perez Hilton]
• Rosie O'Donnell wrote this on her blog: "2009 / this year / unplugged / see what happens / on we go / peace out / and in," which means she is never posting on her blog again. We think. [Perez Hilton]
• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban will continue renovating their recently-purchased Australian mansion even though developers are building a 100-dwelling conference center on the other side of their back fence. There is local opposition to the development and the owners offered to just sell it to the couple, but they don't want to get involved in the local squabble. [News.com.au]
• Will Smith has been voted the Top Money-Making Star of 2008 by Quigley Publishing Company. Reese Witherspoon and Angelina Jolie were the only ladies who made the top ten. [PR News Wire]
• "Everyone ages in a really different way. Some people rage, rage against the dying of the light, and some people embrace it. And people age according to how their lives have been physically. And so I really had to think about the fact that Daisy was a dancer and so how would she age? And how would she treat her aging? I thought, well, she'll always wear makeup, and she won't let her hair go, and that her injuries will come back to haunt her later in life, hence the stick (a cane), and I have a slight limp. A limp and a stick often help a character sink in." - Cate Blanchett on playing an older person in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button [Reuters]

• Holy Xenu! Katie Holmes looks freakin awesome on the cover of T: The New York Times Style Magazine. She claims she is not the pawn of Tom Cruise: "There's a misperception about me that I just became this wallflower, this woman who doesn't have any control of her life. "And that's pretty wrong. From the very beginning, I've made choices in my life that have been very strong." Plus: "When I met Tom I was completely in love and, yes, I admired him growing up — he's Tom Cruise! When I met him, he was so warm and I thought, Wow! You can be a superstar and a human being. He made me feel so amazing." [People]
• Another glamorous shot of Katie, and one of Tom Cruise, from T Magazine. [Pop Sugar]
• Amy Winehouse has "escaped" from her hospital bed and went to a recording studio and a friend's house before returning to the hospital "in the early hours." Sneaky! [The Sun]
• Alex Rodriguez speaks! About his relationship with Madonna! "We're friends – that's it. I've been to two [of her] concerts, yet I've read that I went to 20. I've also read that we were buying an apartment together. That is absolutely ridiculous and not true." [People]

• ¡Caliente! Rumor has it Shakira will perform at Barack Obama's inauguration in January. [Perez Hilton]
• Boy George: Found guilty! He falsely imprisoned a Norwegian male escort after a nude photoshoot, and will be sentenced January 16. [Yahoo News, Mirror,
• The escort told the court that Boy George yelled at him: "Fucking whore! Now you're going to get what you deserve." Guardian]
• Apparently Jennifer Aniston went on Oprah and talked about an Obama cake that she'd made? John Mayer says: "Jen and I made that cake together. She didn't really give me any credit for that cake. I was the architect on that cake. I put a lot of my time in designing that cake. I was a good man. I shared the process. From mixing to frosting….[she] took all the credit." He adds what seems to be a lame joke: "There's some trouble but we're getting over it…We're having therapy everyday in Brentwood…and we're figuring this out because that was my time to shine on Oprah." [Perez Hilton]
• Speaking of Oprah: Contrary to reports, her show may not end in 2011. "I'm not done!" she says. "I'm a very multi-dimensional woman. I can do a show. I can have OWN [the Oprah Winfrey Network]. I can have a magazine. I can do radio." You tell 'em! [UPI]
• Beyoncé's on the cover of Elle and admits that having a kid scares the crap out of her: "I'm terrified of having a child," she says. m terrified of delivering a child because I saw my nephew being born. That traumatized me. I'm only 27. I've got time." [People]
• Jennifer Hudson, who has been in seclusion since members of her family were killed, was nominated for four Grammys on Wednesday. She says: "It's been a childhood dream of mine to release an album, so to receive four Grammy nominations is truly a blessing. I am extremely honored and humbled by the nominations." [AP]
• George Clooney has a crush on a waitress. Also: The sky is blue. [The Sun]
• By the by, Clooney just raised £10 million for the victims of Darfur at a fancy London party. Guests included Matt Damon, Scarlett Johansson, Cindy Crawford, Sarah Ferguson, Bono and Guy Ritchie. [Daily Mail]
• Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes movie is disrupting residents of one street in London, and they want to reduce the number of days he can shoot there. They'd also love it if Guy would give them some cash. [Daily Express]
• Kate Moss is throwing a party to announce that she is pregnant?!? [ONTD]
• David Duchovny and Tea Leoni were spotted taking their kids out for frozen yogurt in New York and being lovey-dovey. It seems they may move into a new apartment together this month and are "working on" their relationship. [Star]
• If you care to see the impossibly sunny, blonde, annoying pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt on their honeymoon, go ahead and click, you will not be judged. [Just Jared]
• Spencer is pissed that Heidi's mom is "furious" about the wedding and says he won't visit the in-laws for the holidays: "After that statement, the Pratts, as in Heidi Pratt and Spencer Pratt, will probably have their own Christmas tree out here," he says. Of course, all of this seems to be part of the "script" for The Hills. So. [E!]
• Shia LaBeouf had to drop out of a new film because "his hand is totally shattered, it’s much worse than anyone thought." He needs more surgery, you guys. [Fox 411]
• Was The House Bunny a hit? Anna Faris is "capitalizing" on it by lining up two new projects; a female buddy comedy and a romantic comedy. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Amy Adams will star in the film adaptation of the novel The Ten Best Days Of My Life, about a woman who dies and goes to heaven, but has to prove her worth by recounting her 10 best days. [Variety]
• The National Board of Review has named Anne Hathaway 2008's best actress for Rachel Getting Married; Slumdog Millionaire was best picture. [People]
• No one wants to live in the SoHo loft where Heath Ledger died. Even if you have $26,000 a month, you can't rent it now — it's temporarily off the market. [TMZ, Page Six]
• Heather Locklear was on The Tonight Show and admitted that she had a tough year. But! She has a sense of humor about her pill-popping DUI bust. "I've been better, but I'm good today," she said. And when Jay Leno asked if she would have done differently this year, she joked: "I would have stayed in my house." [People]
• Grey's Anatomy fans can find out a big secret about Denny's "afterlife love affair with Izzie" by clicking this link. [EW]
• Blythe Danner made oral sex jokes at a cocktail reception in honor of the Bruce Paltrow Oral Cancer fund. She lost her husband to the disease six years ago. [WWD]
• Miley Cyrus is not divorcing her parents, but if she did, it would be a lot easier for the 16-year-old to date a 20-year-old underwear model. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Jim Carrey, Spike Lee, Amy Poehler, Twilight's Kristen Stewart, Richard Gere, Zooey Deschanel, and Ashton Kutcher are among the stars with flicks in the Sundance Film Festival. Will there be a breakout indie hit this year? [USA Today]
• Former SNL star Rachel Dratch is in a musical, and it might go to Broadway. "It's about a burlesque club the cops are trying to shut down," she says. "It has crazy burlesque dancing and clever dance numbers. I'm not in them, I just watch." [NY Mag]
• Cops are looking for 2 people in the shooting of Mark Ruffalo's brother, though a motive has not been released. [AP]
• Bob Dylan's room at the famed Chelsea Hotel in New York: Destroyed. Sledgehammered and ripped up, in the name of renovations. [Gothamist]
• Someone is suing Dixie Chicks singer Natalie Maines for defamation, and it has to do with the 1993 murders of three boys. [AP]
• Kathy Griffin tried to smooth things over with Clay Aiken, whom she called Gayken in her standup act, way before he came out, and she claims: "I would have to say he was not very nice." [E!]
• Some dumb paparazzi asked Robin Williams' daughter Zelda why her dad wasn't partying with her: "You don't take an alcoholic out to a club," she explained. Also, why would she be clubbing with her dad? [TMZ]
• Rocker Joe Satriani is suing Coldplay, accusing the band of plagiarizing one of his songs. [Yahoo News]
• David Hasselhoff's ex wife: Kicked out of the Hoff's house. By a judge. [TMZ]
• The Real World: Brooklyn is coming to MTV January 7th. The "strangers" living in the house are an Iraq war veteran, a former beauty queen, a hip hop dancing hippie, a punk rock Mormon, a dolphin trainer, a computer geek, an abs model and an advocate for victims of abuse. Good luck! [MTV.com]
• Not a joke: Pete Doherty will replace Pete Townshend in The Who. For one night only. For charity. [The Sun]
• Did you know that before Madonna was cast in Evita, Michelle Pfeiffer had the role? Click to hear her sing some demo tracks. [ONTD]
• Erik Estrada must love being, not just playing a cop: He'll be working the night shift at the Muncie Police Department in Indiana this week. [USA Today]
• UK's Channel 4 is poking fun at the death of Princess Diana? [Daily Mail]
• RIP Paul Benedict, also known as Bentley from The Jeffersons. [AP]
• "I was separated from my dad for most of my life, but we forgave each other for whatever had happened. It’s huge for me. He’s been the most supportive dad. No matter what has happened, he’s always been there. And especially right now - he’s been so great. He really helped me out." — Evan Rachel Wood, who reunited with her father over Thanksgiving. [Perez Hilton]
• "I knew I wanted to marry Kate when I met her. After our very first date, I was sure. At one point, I thought she was going to ask me to marry her first and I cut her off by changing the subject. I wanted to ask her." — Tom Cruise in T: The New York Times Style Magazine. [People]
• "I've been recording in between periods of romantic torture, which is the concept of this album. Writing these songs has been my saving grace. I have felt in the past like a marionette. This album is my freedom. When you're in love, you've found your soul mate, you think life is going one way, and suddenly it's completely apparent it's not. You have to rethink your whole purpose." — Scott Weiland on his solo album, Happy In Galoshes. [USA Today]
• "Our behaviour is changing. Look at how we re-use and recycle. I want to see people at movie premieres wearing outfits they’ve had for 10 years." — Sigourney Weaver, on how Hollywood can cope with the economic crisis. [Daily Express]

[Los Angeles, December 3. Image via x17]

[Los Angeles, November 25. Image via Flynet]

• Britney Spears's comeback includes a stop at NBC’s Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony on December 3. Will she perform? Will she push the button and light the tree? Will she ice skate? So many questions. [MSNBC]
• Wait a minute: In this report, Britney says her new life sucks! "There’s no excitement, there’s no passion. I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail you know there’s the time when you’re gonna get out. But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like Groundhog Day every day. […] I think it’s too in control. If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under, I’d feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening." B-but- you're doing so well! [The Sun]
• Brit's new CD leaked all over the internet yesterday, probably deliberately. Fans dig it. [The Sun]
• Barack Obama's barber in Chicago says the President-Elect doesn't mind having gray hair. "It's not like he has a head full of gray hair," says Zariff, who only goes by one name. "It's just a few gray hairs, so it's nothing to get excited about." Oh! And Zariff might visit DC! "I said, 'I'm going with you' [if you win]," Zariff told Obama. His reply? "Absolutely. I'm not changing barbers, man." [Us]
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer had a romantic candlelight dinner. It's so on. [People]

• Have you seen Rihanna's new video, the one with Justin Timberlake? She slithers on the hood of a car, he's dripping wet in a wife beater. They embrace. It's HOT. [Concrete Loop]
• Jessica Simpson says her sister Ashlee may induce labor. What is she doing?
  "Different foot massages and stuff," Jessica told Ellen DeGeneres on her show (which airs Wednesday). "I don't know. I think she's really just jumping around trying everything right now." [People]
• Angelina Jolie was on BBC radio last night, talking about Changeling. There's video, so if you want to see her ignoring the camera, being incredibly reserved and looking down and being quiet, by all means, watch. [Perez Hilton]
• Angelina got super emotional while talking about her mom at a press conference in London. Tears! [Perez Hilton]
• When asked if the public could expect her to add to her enormous family with Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie replied: "Sure you can." [Mirror]
• By the by, Angelina's dad Jon Voight says he has one wish before he dies and it's "to work with my son [James Haven] and Angie again, in a movie. The three of us together. That would be nice." [MSNBC]
• Get psyched: Miley Cyrus will perform on the finale of Dancing With The Stars, just two days after her 16th birthday. Her song is called "Fly On The Wall," maybe you want to get the lyrics and sing along? [People, UPI]
• Jennifer Lopez loves motherhood and wants more babies. Cashmere onesies for everyone! [MSNBC]
• Tim Robbins has written an open letter to Gregory C. Soumas of the New York City Board of Elections. It begins: "I would like to publicly apologize for being such a dim-witted dilettante on Election Day. I was under the naïve assumption that I could vote where I voted in the last two elections." And it ends: "I was thinking of returning that favor by publishing your home address in this letter but then I thought that maybe one of the thousands of New Yorkers that were taken off the voter rolls in the last two months might not understand what a patriotic upstanding man you are and might show up at your doorstep with the misguided assumption that you are a petty vindictive corrupt scumbag." [Huffington Post]
• Christian Siriano: Engaged! He also might appear on Gossip Girl and says his next collection is "a little bit inspired by Egypt." Oh, and he saw the Victoria's Secret fashion show and declares: "Tranny Klum is fabulous." That's Heidi to you and me. [E!]
• William from Stylista has written a goodbye letter, in which he says: "I want Ashlie to win! Hands down! Team Ashlie all the way! She is, quite possibly, the only sane person (minus the hysterics) left on the show. Now, that's not to say that I don't like a little crazy, but honestly, I could sing Ashlie's praises all day." [Elle]
• Authorities found "multiple prescription bottles" by the body of Paula Goodspeed after she allegedly overdosed near Paula Abdul's house last week. [TMZ]
• An extra in a courtroom scene on NBC's Medium was so disruptive, he was kicked out of the jury box. Turns out he was Sasha Baron Cohen, dressed as Bruno. Guess Patricia Aquette didn't see that one coming. [EW]
• Lipstick Jungle: Not canceled. Yet. [NY Mag, NY Times]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt's trailer on the set of Ghost Whisperer was burgled. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson will not go to London, despite being sued by former pal Prince Abdullah of Bahrain. The cash was an advance, in exchange for two albums, a musical, and an autobiography. None of which Jackson has delivered. The trial started yesterday and continues today, without Jackson's presence; his lawyer says he is to ill to travel. [Fox 411]
• Courtney Love went on some kind of blogathon on Sunday, posting 60 times. Now she writes: "I didnt know that style.com would put all those links together, i dont ingest alchohol and to even make the merest suggestion of a Cr__k P–e is insane and mean.and a lie, wichyou know perfectly well." She also says: "i am not suicidal, occasionally very occasioanly like all of us i get depressed, and that was over a year ago and i had a mini little depression attack well big one, and the Lanvin show made me happier, i dont know quite why it happened but i find that mediciation is not the answer to this, working out and doing daimoku ( chanting) is as is yoga and eating correctly and i want somemore Kombucha tea i think that stuff is miraculous for glow and health. those things work far better than this chemical culture of numbing our rage and numbing our pains and demons." There's a [sic] on all of that, obvs. [Perez Hilton]
• Simon Cowell and Terri Seymour wer on Extra. They were asked why they broke up. Simon said: "Because Terri decided to dump me. You sent me a text." Terri replied: "I didn't dump you. It was just time. We had a great six years, and we're the best of friends." Simon denied that Terri got a £5 million "golden goodbye." He laughed: "If anything I should be getting the money." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand's girlfriend, Sydney Jo Jackson, is cute and curly-haired, but this paper says she is "equally barmy in the barnet department." [The Sun]
• Lenny Kravitz is having trouble selling is sexy penthouse, a "moody orgy palace" priced at $18 million. It's been on the market for six years; dreadlocked rockstar not included. [NY Mag via Curbed]
• What's in Julianne Moore's makeup bag? Kiehl's Original Musk, Tarte Cheek Stain in Blushing Bride, Olay Complete Defense Daily UV Moisturizer. And more. [Marie Claire]
• Jessica Lange has a book of photography and it is gorgeous. Click to see some black and white shots. [NY Mag]
• Brandon Walters, a 6 year old aboriginal boy who stars with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman in Australia, is suddenly famous, but Nicole says: "I feel very protective of him. If the film does really well he is going to need a lot of protection." His mom says: "If it does become a problem for him we'll just go out bush, get away from it all. Now he's at school, he's happy and never stops talking. The film made him confident. He's no longer shy." [Reuters]
• Seth Rogan wants to make a porno-based comedy for Showtime. It would be a series about three twentysomethings who learn about life and love while running a pornography shop, and it's in development. [Variety]
• Rashida Jones: Back on NBC! She'll star in Amy Poehler's new show. [Page Six]
• Beef between Damon Dash and Jay-Z: Kanye West is involved, as are diamond chains. [Rush & Molloy]
• Speaking of Kanye, 50 Cent says Mr. West's new album is "interesting" and that the public "won't forgive him for it" and that it's actually "T-Pain's album." Ouch. [The.Life Files]
• Celine Dion has been forced to postpone several tour dates due to a respiratory virus. Her people say: "Her physician has instructed her to refrain from singing in order to completely recover." [Perez Hilton]
• Heather Locklear: Formally charged with DUI after that incident when she was arrested in September. She's been charged with one count of driving under the influence of prescription drugs. [Extra, TMZ]
• Actress Heather Matarazzo was supposed to marry girlfriend Caroline Murphy in California, but now that Prop 8 has passed, she jokes, "We're breaking up. I'm going to get together with [MSNBC's] Keith Olbermann. We'll have babies, lots of babies!" [Rush & Molloy]
• Spotted: Natalie Imbruglia snogging Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas. [Mirror]
• Meg Ryan has won a German lifetime achievement award for best international actress and will pick up the statuette at a gala ceremony November 27. They're calling her the "queen of romantic comedy" and seem to think it is still 1989. [Yahoo News]
• Stan Lee and Olivia de Havilland both received the National Medal of Arts and the National Humanities Medal at the White House yesterday. [Washington Post]
• The Daily Mail apologizes for its "inaccurate" article about David Duchovny and his tennis coach. [People]
• "So how did Steve Martin and Maureen McCormick end up on a date? Florence Henderson knew Chevy Chase, who knew Steve Martin, who wanted Maureen's phone number. They had dinner and made out and the kissing was good, but Maureen was out of it. It would be their only date." [Huffington Post]
• This story, called "Producers' fury at George Takei for boldly going where he shouldn't have" is about how Takei urinated in the camp in the middle of the night on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Producers are pissed! [Daily Mail]
• So far, George Takei is the favorite to win the show! [Mirror]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and husband Peter Andre are not on the rocks; here is a picture of her wearing a giant "P" necklace to prove it. [The Sun]
• Mindy McCready, who was released from jail two weeks ago, says she isn't proud of an affair she had with baseball great Roger Clemens. She met Clemens when she was 16 but didn't have sex with him until several years later. "Roger Clemens is one of the most wonderful men I've ever known. He treated me like a princess." But! She says she now has "nothing but remorse and nothing but sympathy for what [his wife Debbie] had to go through with this situation, and she has my utmost apology." [UPI]
• Coming to Broadway: Priscilla Queen of the Desert, the musical! [UPI]
• Mary Delgado , a former NFL cheerleader and winner of The Bachelor in 2004, is out of jail after being arrested in a southwest border-town bar for unruly behavior. Drama! [AP]
• Cheech and Chong: Gonna get roasted. Not baked, roasted! [UPI]
• A poem handwritten by Sir Paul McCartney for his friend Spike Milligan is to be sold at auction next week. It's called "The Poet Of Dumbswoman Lane." [Telegraph]
• Five year old Beatrice McCartney is on her dad's new track, a Sir Paul ditty called "Two Magpies." [Mirror]
• Bogota, Colombia hearts Duran Duran. [Guardian]
• "'Climb every Mountain' is a beautiful statement of philosophy. Critics may think The Sound of Music is saccharine, but I think it's profound." — Jon Voight. [MSNBC]
• "I've gotten more stylish since I've been with my husband. I was always making fun of him because he has so many leather coats, jackets and shoes. But he looks hot. I want to look good for him. So I kind of stepped it up a bit." — Heidi Klum in In Style. [People]
• "There's no smoking. The lights never go out, 24/7. You can't cover anything. You can't even put your head under a blanket. All the cells have cameras in them. I was told, you know, 'You'll have your own cell.' But I didn't for the first two or three weeks; I had a cell mate. He got out – but not for long. He came back in pretty quick." — Keifer Sutherland on his stint in jail, in Men's Vogue. [People]
• "Pete and I laugh about it. We can’t win. If we’re smiling for the cameras they say we’re setting it up to gloss over the cracks. If we’re not together they think we’ve split up." — Katie "Jordan" Price on the breakup rumors about her and husband Peter Andre. [Daily Mail]
• "Yes, I have solar panels and all that sort of stuff. However, the more I learn about the subject matter, I also realise that people find it patronizing. They feel like they're being told what to do when somebody like me talks about the fact I have solar panels. Not everybody can get solar panels and not everyone can drive a hybrid car. It's not about blame or telling people how to live, it's just about saying, 'Let's all be aware of these issues.'" — Leonardo DiCaprio. [Daily Express]
• "In terms of my future as an actor and stuff, I don't know. I am in a place in my life where... I've had some great opportunities and I may just choose to have some more children. I've no idea what is in my future but I am very at peace with where I want to be. There are many things I want to do besides act." — Nicole Kidman. [Reuters]
• "Sometimes I lie in bed and I'm like, 'Oh my god, there's Seal lying next to me. What's he doing there?' I get a smile on my face immediately. Our honeymoon period is definitely not over." — Heidi Klum in In Style. [People]
• "We feed the chickens and the pigs — I have two pigs, and boy are they really pigs. They just get down in that mud and roll around. I like getting down in there and working in the garden. Oh, I want someone to build me a good chicken coop… like a man who can just get down there and build it…ooh." — Reese Witherspoon, on taking her kids to her farm outside of L.A. [USA Today]

• Paris Hilton plays a woman who wants plastic surgery in Repo: The Genetic Opera, but she claims she's never had surgery. "I love being all-natural," she claims. All natural? Ahem. Let's just look at those boobs, that nose, the blue contacts that cover those brown eyes and, oh, yeah, the nose. [Daily Beast]
• Paris Hilton totally assisted in the election excitement with her silly videos, you guys: "I was talking about issues and actually making sense but still playing with my image at the same time. Doing it in a ditzy way, but actually saying things I think can really help it along." [E!]
• Britneyspears.com now hosts weekly awards called The PapaRAZZIEs that highlight the antics of obnoxious paps: "Terrorizing Britney has unfortunately become a daily part of the paparazzi's lives. So, we've decided to start calling these maniacs out each week by awarding a PapaRAZZIE to the worst of the worst! Each week we will be presenting an award to the most outrageous and ridiculous pap moment and you have to check out what we found this week. The guy who's shooting this video actually starts mooing at Mary Kate Olsen!" [ONTD]
• Could Britney be focusing on paparazzi because she's dating one? The rumors that she's back with Adnan Ghalib will not die. An "insider" tells the National Enquirer: "Britney and Adnan are constantly on the phone or text-messaging each other. Britney gets excited when he calls or texts because he lavishes her with compliments." [MSNBC]
• Prepare yourself: Daniel Craig NAKED. [The Sun]

• Barack Obama had a conference call yesterday with "African-American leaders." On the phone: Oprah Winfrey, Sean "Diddy" Combs, Donna Brazile, House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn, and Rev. Joseph Lowery. [Politico]
• "Oprah Working O-vertime For Obama." [Rush & Molloy]
• Diddy, Mary J. Blige, Jay-Z and Beyoncé were in Philadelphia yesterday for a "promote the vote" block party. Mary J's haircut gets my vote! [Concrete Loop]
• People has a poll: "Do You Approve Of Jen & John's Relationship?" Sorry, but we need to vote on this OTHER issue that seems WAY more important at the moment. [People]
• After being hit in the head with a camera in a kerfluffle outside of a restaurant, Jessica Simpson's BFF Ken Paves says: "While I did not expect a dinner out with friends would end up with me in the emergency room and nine stitches in my head, I am fine." He got nine stitches. Being friends with a celebrity is dangerous! [People]
• Jennifer Hudson kissed her mother goodbye during a private service for her murdered family members in Chicago on Monday. [People]
• Jennifer's stepbrother says: "Right now she is just praying and staying strong. Just pray for her." [Yahoo News]
• Another day, another rumored wedding: Fergie and Josh Duhamel might tie the knot in June 2009. She's started working with wedding planners and wants a Karl Lagerfeld gown. Who doesn't? [Just Jared]
• Mary-Kate Olsen says he thinks it's weird that people were into her "boho" style. "For me it was laziness. I wore my pyjamas and threw on whatever was warm enough. It still amazes me. It's just layers and it doesn't make any sense to me at all." That makes two of us! [Daily Express]
• Ashley Olsen responds to the rumor that she's getting married: "No truth at all. I told the National Enquirer that, but they don't print what we actually say." [E!]
• Will Russell Brand play Johnny Depp's brother in the next Pirates Of The Caribbean flick? [Telegraph]
• Heidi Klum spoofs Tom Cruise's Risky Business shirt-and-boxers dance for a Guitar Hero commercial. Except she's in a bra and undies. Click and see. [The Sun]
• Ew: Justin Long hooked up with Tila Tequila? [Page Six]
• Despite separation and tension, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni took their kids trick-or-treating. Kudos. [Page Six]
• A flick from 1971 in which Susan Sarandon is "sexy and nude" is being released on DVD, if you're into that. [Page Six]
• Carrie Underwood says she hasn't spoken to ex Tony Romo "since, like, May." So Jessica Simpson can calm the hell down. [People]
• Salma Hayek was spotted getting cozy with her baby daddy, French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault. Will they get back together? [People]
• Leona Lewis went to South Africa and now she wants a South African baby. "I wanted to take home all the kids. They were so cute. All of them had been orphaned because of HIV and it was heart-rending," she says. "There are so many who need help – both here and abroad – you just don't know where to start. My mum was a social worker and my dad was a youth offender officer, so I know that there are a lot of kids out there that need to be fostered and adopted. I definitely want to adopt." [People]
• Baz Luhrmann's epic movie Australia (starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman) hits theaters November 26, but it's not even done yet. [NY Mag]
• Keith Urban to Nicole Kidman: "You do look good in my shirt. And out of it! But that's a different story." [People]
• Emma Watson is dating a young Australian student and this paper knows lots of details about him. He's a rower who loves rugby and has a background in theater. [Telegraph]
• Peaches Geldof has been living in New York for "five minutes" and has "already picked up an American accent." [The Sun]
• Will Smith is determined to star in a Bollywood film. Maybe we should loan other stars out to other countries. Where shall we send Jessica Simpson? [Daily Express]
• Witness Seal speaking about his new album. [Mirror]
• The rumor that Joe the Plumber maybe hooked up with SNL's Kristen Wiig: False. [Politico]
• Antonio Sabato Jr is "ready to love again," so, naturally, he's looking for a lady via a reality show. Romantic! [Perez Hilton]
• Olympic gold medal-winning skier Picabo Street got married! On top of a mountain, of course. [People]
• Negotiations for Cloris Leachman to join the cast of Young Frankenstein on Broadway are still underway. All together now: Blucher! [Yahoo News]
• Ooh, Jane Fonda on Broadway: She'll star in 33 Variations, a play by Moises Kaufman about a present-day musicologist (played by Fonda) and her study of Beethoven's fascination with a particular piece of music. [AP]
• What's up with the Ramones and the election? Johnny's widow Linda has been campaigning for McCain; Joey's brother says: “I just want it to be clear that Linda Cummings does not represent the political views of the Ramones." [Reuters]
• An amazing profile of Grace Jones includes information about her brother, Christian, who was "born swishy." According to the piece, "When Christian clashed with his parents, Grace took his side and began the rebellion that she turned into a career." [Telegraph]
• The firing of Brooke Smith from Grey's Anatomy means the end of a mature, woman-on-woman (as opposed to girl-on-girl) lesbian relationship, which, TV critic Mary McNamara says, "is bad for the world." [LA Times]
• Have you seen Liv Tyler in those Nintendo DS ads? She says: "I'd never played a game before they asked me to shoot this. It's actually quite addictive. There's something childlike about being able to just play." Also, that's her sister Chelsea in the commercial with her. [USA Today]
• There's a bench warrant out for the arrest of John Cusack's stalker. Keep an eye out for a 33-year-old woman obsessed with Better Off Dead. [E!]
• The surfers charged with roughing up a paparazzo who was crowding Matthew McConaughey on a Malibu beach pleaded not guilty Monday to misdemeanor battery charges. Pretrial hearing in January, dude. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Heather Mills built a swimming pool without permission, and in a desperate attempt to keep it, she's saying it actually serves a the public, because the fire brigade can use in case of a fire. [Daily Mail]
• Dr. Phil's son did a book signing at the Mall Of American and no one really cared or showed up. Okay, not true. There were about a dozen people and he said, "I know most of you." The signing started at 2 p.m. and he was done by 2:30. [Star Tribune]
• Know how we're always talking about no new ideas in Hollywood? The Farrelly brothers are directing a comedy called Three Stooges. Out in late 2009. [Variety]
• Charges have yet to be filed against Heather Locklear in that DUI case; it's still being investigated. [Yahoo News via E!]
• ¡Mierda! Kylie Minogue had five suitcases stolen hours before her Latin America tour started. Laptops, cameras, passports and show outfits were taken when she landed in the Colombian capital of Bogota. Eh, the show must go on. [The Sun]
• Laguna Beach star Jason Wahler's civil trial kicked off yesterday: He's accused of assaulting a tow-truck driver. His lawyers filed a motion seeking to keep other attorneys from blabbing to the press about the case; rumor has it Wahler shouted racist slurs at the driver, who is black. [Yahoo News via E!]
• The husband of slain actress Adrienne Shelly is suing the manager of the New York City building where she died and the renovation company that hired the man who killed her. [USA Today]
• NFL players taking Nikki Haskell's Star Caps diet pills? Huh? [Page Six]
• Hmm, Lionel Ritchie has Akon and Ne-Yo on his new album. Trying to connect with the kids? [Yahoo News]
• George Carlin's daughter has a book deal to do an oral history of her father's life, due in fall 2009. [USA Today]
• Charlize Theron may star with Tom Cruise in The Tourist, a remake of a 2005 French Thriller in which she'd play an Interpol agent who uses an American tourist "in an attempt to flush out an elusive criminal with whom she once had an affair." [Variety]
• A former UCLA Medical Center employee has pleaded not guilty to charges that she sold information from Farrah Fawcett's file to a tabloid magazine. [USA Today]
• Kate Beckinsale looks foxy on the cover of Elle UK. [Elle UK]
• "Growing up in Jamaica the Pentecostal church wasn't that fiery thing you might think. It was very British, very proper. Hymns. No dancing. Very quiet. Very fundamental. You might see some rastas going by on their bicycles but you were taught to run and hide under your bed if that happened. They were demons, devils. You had to wear a hat to go to church. We weren't allowed to straighten our hair. We couldn't wear jewellery, nail polish, open backed shoes, skirts above the knee... trousers were forbidden because male apparel on a female was not Godly." — Grace Jones. [Telegraph]
• "If [Obama] doesn't get into office, I'm gonna change my citizenship. I'm moving back to Africa. You can hold me to that. I'm afraid to live there if [McCain] is President. The decisions he makes scare me: he's making selfish decisions, he's doing whatever it takes to get into office. I don't think [McCain] is going to last eight years so [Palin]'s definitely going to be president. Oh my goodness - that's scarier. And who would be her running mate? Joe the Plumber?" — Akon. [Perez Hilton]
• "He said, 'Ahh you're the girl from Wedding Crashers.' He freaked out and backed away from me. I'm like, 'I'm not actually a bi-polar nymphomaniac.'" — Isla Fisher. [News.com.au]
• "Leo — that’s one of my best friends and I’m one of his. That’s just my boy. Tobey’s my boy. We all love sports. We’re all into politics. We all have a stake in the artistic community. We all have a lot of similar interests." — Q-Tip. [LA Times]
• "I've been saying to him for seven years, 'When are you going to put out the record? He’s such an artist. He wants it to be perfect." — Leonardo DiCaprio, on Q-Tip. [LA Times]
• "Leo and I were always aware that if we were going to do something together again that there would be a sense of expectation. It was going to have to be the right thing. There's an emotional shorthand that Leo and I have and a physical ease because we've known each other so long… Leo and I, you know, are sort of kindred spirits — we're cut from the same cloth." — Kate Winslet, on her Revolutionary Road costar, Leo DiCaprio. [MSNBC]
• "There are too many girls in here… too many model asses all over the place." — Shannen Doherty, at a New York party. [ONTD]
• "I don’t really get involved in political affairs because of the way I was brought up and being a Jehovah’s Witness, but it’s exciting to see someone like Barack Obama have a chance to lead one of the world’s biggest nations. And it’s just interesting. Think 40 years ago or 30 years ago, all the things that were going on, the persecution we had to go through. And it’s good. It makes my heart smile." — Serena Williams. [NY Times]
• "Ideally I want to have another three kids biologically and then adopt. If something happened and there was a child who needed a home before that, then I’d do it. All I know is that I haven’t finished yet when it comes to having kids." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [The Sun]
• "When I perform on stage I become those male bullies, those dominators from my childhood. That's probably why it's so scary, because they scared me. I enjoy being feminine, but I like role swapping." — Grace Jones. [Telegraph]

• Angelina was on the red carpet in New York over the weekend, talking about her family. "Everybody's great," she said. "The babies are getting big and healthy and developing personalities." She says she has been a "little bit" sleep deprived but she and Brad find relief: "We have some help a couple of nights a week, so on those nights we catch up on our sleep." [UPI]
• Brad Pitt was there too: They are obviously not broken up. [Daily News]
• More from Angie: "Even if we lock our door, the children come knocking. We often try to have a bath alone together at the end of the night and sit and talk, but they hear the water and want to jump in. But it’s fun and it’s lovely – the thing about having six is once you’ve passed three or four, it’s so crazy anyway that it’s just more chaos and it’s all OK." When asked if she feels if she has completed her family, Angie said, "No." [Mirror]
• Angie somehow found time for two new tattoos: She now has the map coordinates of Nice, France, where her twins were born. [LA Times]
• But! As for adopting more kids Angie says: "I think we're going to wait a little while." [People]

• Lindsay Lohan is also feeling brood-y. She says: "At some point, I want to adopt a kid… A child in need or a newborn from another country. I’m not sure yet." [Mirror]
• Samantha Ronson sent Perez Hilton a check for $86,832: The amount to cover his legal fees in her failed libel lawsuit. [E!]
• Lauren Conrad on the rumor that she hooked up with Justin Bobby: "These accusations are so crazy, it's difficult for me to take them seriously. While my usual taste in guys isn't always perfect, I do prefer they shower regularly." [E!]
• History was made Saturday night, when Tyler Perry became the first African-American ever to launch his own major TV and film studio. Oprah cried. [People]
• Speaking of Oprah, she is being sued by the former headmistress of the Big O's Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa for defamation of character. [E!]
• Amy Winehouse supposedly received a "welcoming" phone call from the Church of Scientology, in which they offered her detox help. So crazy it just might work? [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse has one thing going for her: She's not broke. [Mirror]
• Blake Incarcerated sent Amy's dad a "vile and abusive" letter filled with threats. Sigh. [The Sun]
• Holy crap, did Courtney Love have gastric band surgery to stay thin? [Perez Hilton]
• Eddie Van Halen: Engaged. [People]
• Elizabeth Taylor is "heartbroken" after the death of Paul Newman. They starred together in Cat On A Hot Tin Roof and were friends for years. [Daily Express]
• Gossip Girl is pulling in better ratings than it did a year ago, but the producer says "We try not to live and die by the ratings." [NY Daily News]
• David Letterman has a great Sarah Palin recap video. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Miss Jackson is still nasty: Janet has postponed 3 more shows our her tour due to illness. [AP]
• Bruno, aka Sacha Baron Cohen, was at the Stella McCartney show, being disruptive by clapping along to the music "way too loud." Paul McCartney was just a few seats away. [Daily Express]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham in yet another pair of ridiculous shoes. [The Sun]
• Johnny Depp wants to be in the Little Britain movie. Computer says yes? [Mirror]
• Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour kicked off this weekend in New Jersey; there were "guest appearances" by Kanye West and Justin Timberlake and the performance was a "success." This review says: "The 50-year-old has toughened up, replacing some of the frothiness of her pure pop days with a bracing physicality." [Variety]
• Kylie Minogue was seen "looking cozy" with a "dark-haired mystery man" in Paris. Get it! [The Sun]
• Rachael Ray has a benign cyst on her vocal cord, which she'll have minor surgery to remove in early December. [UPI]
• So you know how we heard that Ali Lohan might work with Johnny Wright, who had produced Justin Timberlake and the Jonas Brothers? Johnny Wright says: "Johnny Wright has never met with Ali Lohan, has never been introduced to Ali Lohan, nor has he had a meeting with Ali or Dina Lohan regarding Ali's music career. While he wishes Ali Lohan the best in all her endeavors, Mr. Wright has never had any intention of speaking with Ali Lohan regarding her career. Any story that has surfaced about such a meeting holds no merit and is completely false." Haha wow. [Page Six]
• Salma Hayek wore a traditional Bavarian dress on German TV and her cups runneth over. [The Sun]
• Pam Anderson delivered Hugh Hefner's birthday cake — in the nude. [Mirror]
• Beyoncé's "wedding" ring is about 18 carats and worth about $4.3 million dollars. Don't drop it down the drain! [Daily Mail]
• Blind items! #1: "Which wife of a rock superstar has been punishing him for going to strip clubs without her? The spouse has spent about $30 million on a house they don't really need to get back at him for not including her in his adventures." #2: "Which boy-band member is going to shock his female fans when he comes out of the closet?" [Page Six]
• Emma Thompson says her her biggest accomplishment in life was "giving birth without painkillers" and her happiest moment was: "just after giving birth without painkillers." [Daily Express]
• David Hasselhoff's ex-wife blabs about the Hoff being a drunk: "He’s an alcoholic. He has a disease, just like cancer." [Daily Mail]
• Shakira's for Obama. [AP]
• Rumer Willis was named after the British writer Rumer Godden: "I don’t know whether my mom had read much of her stuff, I guess she may have just been in a bookshop and liked the sound of it. I used to get teased at school, Rumer Tumor, that kind of thing, but I’ve got used to it. You do." [Times Of London]
• David Spade has texted Heather Locklear to check in with her. He says: "I think there's no one that doesn't feel for her or have nice things to say about her in my experience." [People]
• Bond vs. Bond! Sean Connery's new book, Being A Scot, has sold only 5,000 copies since its release in August. Roger Moore's biography, My Word Is Bond, is doing much better. [Telegraph]
• Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton says The Spice Girls are over. "We're all in our 30s now and, let's face it, by then most people aren't doing the same thing they were when they were 18, which is how old I was when I first met the girls. I'm ready to move forward." [Daily Mail]
• A judge has ordered a Texas doctor and his wife not to distribute video footage of Anna Nicole Smith's breast augmentation surgery in 1994. Thanks, judge. [The Star UK]
• Joss Stone will make her small screen debut in The Tudors, playing Henry VIII's wife Anne of Cleves. [Daily Express]
• Andrew Lloyd Webber doesn't want his kids to inherit his £750million fortune. He says: "They aren’t bothered. They don’t think that way. It is about having a work ethic – I don’t believe in inherited money at all. I am not in favour of children suddenly finding a lot of money coming their way because then they have no incentive to work." [Mirror]
• Does Marilyn Manson owe his former bandmate $20 million in back pay? He'll be in court November 3 and we'll find out. [E!]
• Sad face: Carol Channing fell at her home and broke her leg and hip. Speedy recovery! [Modesto Bee]
• If you want to know all about John Lennon's adultery pact, when he left Yoko Ono for a year of "reckless debauchery" and told her, "You must take a lover too," then click here. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Bacon will produce a Showtime series called The Booths about the man who would assassinate Abraham Lincoln. [Variety]
• Rod Stewart's son is in rehab. [The Sun]
• Jude Law picked up some dancer at a club in NYC and she stayed "holed up" in his hotel room for three days. [Page Six]
• There's Bull Durham sequel in the works. No, really. [Page Six]
• "I'm going to stop playing when I'm 67 and work on what I really want to do, which is to be a minister, like Little Richard." — Carlos Santana. [Reuters]
• "I've always admired her talent. She's somewhat hampered sometimes by having this gorgeous face, the most gorgeous face on the planet. She's on covers and all that stuff. But she is a great talent, and it would be easy to overlook that, except after seeing this you realize that she is this great, talented person." — Clint Eastwood on Angelina Jolie, who stars in The Changeling, which he directed. [People]
• "I really loved my husband's penis. It was really pretty." — Pink. [Mirror]

• Angelina and Brad are in New York! Angie will walk the red carpet at the New York Film Festival tomorrow, for the premiere of her movie The Changeling, a 1920s thriller directed by Clint Eastwood. We know Shiloh is here, but as for Knox, Vivi, Zahara, Pax and Maddox? We'll have to wait and see. [People]
• Jimmy Smits grabbed a real knife instead if a prop knife and stabbed a stuntman during a fight scene for the TV show Dexter. The stunt guy says: "For the scene, I was bound in Saran Wrap, duct tape over my mouth. I couldn't say a thing as I saw Jimmy grab at the knife. He picked up the real one by pure mistake. It was a mean looking knife… I had a piece of acrylic clear plastic about the size of a Post-it note over my heart…by a miracle, an act of God, the knife landed at the very edge of the plastic. I really thought I'd been stabbed in the heart, but I didn't have a scratch. Jimmy was devastated and couldn't stop apologizing. I told him, I felt more sorry for him than me." [Daily Star]
• Demi Moore took Michael Phelps out for drinks, but it was a business meeting: She wants him to be in a reality show that she and Ashton are producing. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• JK Rowling is the world's best-paid author. She makes £3 million a week. [The Sun]

• Did Madonna and A-Rod have dinner in NYC the other night??? [Page Six]
• Sharon Stone denies ever recommending that her 8-year-old son get Botox injections for foot odor. Her attorney says: "Sharon Stone never made this statement. It is a complete fabrication." [People]
• Oh, and Sandra Bernhard denies that she ever used the term "gang rape" in a joke about Sarah Palin. What started as an internet rumor quickly became an AP article that reported Bernhard had been cut from a benefit for a Boston women's shelter because of her performance. If you want to know what she actually said, click here. [HuffPo]
• Sandra also says: "I think if you look at the real issues I'm addressing, my intent becomes clear. I am a die-hard advocate for women's rights, and fully support the work of Rosie's Place." [AP]
• Kirsten Dunst was asked about her teeth being Photoshopped on the cover of Bazaar: "I haven't heard about it," she said. "I've had my teeth changed [on a magazine cover] before," she continued. "I wasn't a big fan of that." But she didn't call a publicist to complain. "I'm not that stressed out about that stuff." [NY Mag]
• Oooh, here's Kiki Dunst talking about rehab, sorta: "I don’t want to be hassled about it. Everyone goes through a hard time in their life. They just don’t have to do it in front of tons of people and with our media the way it is. I did, and I’m lucky that I had the resources and the money to take care of myself. I learned a lot." [Mirror]
• Calum Best thinks he turned Lindsay Lohan into a lesbian. [Mirror]
• Clark of ANTM says when she got booted off the show, "It was like watching a boyfriend break up with me! It was heartbreaking! I didn't see it coming. I really didn't." Hey, did you know she had a nose job? Also, Clark says that she sorta knows who will win: "I have a pretty good idea who it is, but obviously can't say anything about that. I can tell you that the whole thing is a shock." [Yahoo News]
• Speaking of Top Model, Isis is being presented with a Visibility Award by Equality Maryland — a lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender civil rights group. [ONTD]
• Apparently Michael Lohan has determined that he is not the father of Ashley, that alleged love child through a paternity test kit he bought himself at Walgreens. [Perez Hilton]
• Peaches Geldof acted pissy and refused to smile for photographers at a department store photo op — for which she was being paid £5,000 to appear. The photogs asked her to smile and she crossed her arms, scowled and then walked away. Any one willing to smile and attend a store opening for £5,000? [Daily Mail]
• Wow, MTV execs call 19-year-old Peaches a "monster" after collaborating with her on a new documentary in which she attempts to edit a magazine. LOL! Apparently no amount of editing could portray Peaches in a positive light, and one MTV person says: "Everything that comes out of her mouth is horrendous." [The Sun]
• Salma Hayek is part of a UNICEF campaign to eradicate tetanus in mothers and babies. She visited the West African nation of Sierra Leone, where she met with tetanus victims. "I had no idea how much this was going to really personally move me," she says. [AP]
• Ooh, Salma Hayek will be on 30 Rock! [Page Six]
• Jay-Z has been working the Water For Life campaign, bringing clean water to those who don't have access to it. "Many charities, you close your eyes and cross your fingers and hope that the money gets to the people who really deserve it. But with this, I got to go to Africa, see the water pumps. I got to see the kids turn them on." Speaking of kids, do you want some, Jay? "Most people dream of having a family someday. So I'm just a regular American boy." [People]
• By the by, Jay-Z received a Global Leadership Award by the United Nations on Wednesday, thanks to his Water For Life work. [Perez Hilton]
• Heather Locklear's police report has been released. She was "obviously impaired," though alcohol was ruled out. A "Drug Recognition Expert" concluded that she was under the influence of a controlled substance, and could not safely operate a motor vehicle. [TMZ]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck is not leaving The View. Don't shoot the messenger. [ET, LA Times]
• Madonna is coming to America! Her Sticky & Sweet tour starts tomorrow in New Jersey; then she has four nights at NYC's Madison Square Garden. [Perez Hilton]
• Kanye West's HBO show is on the shelf. It may never air. He had partnered with Curb Your Enthusiasm producer Larry Charles, who says: "It was really good, but...I think it was too hard-core for HBO. HBO doesn't have a good track record when it comes to black shows, and I felt like that may have had something to do with it also." [Yahoo News, via E!]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown is going to renew her vows with hubs Stephen Belafonte in an elaborate ceremony in Egypt. The invitation is 11 pages long. [Page Six]
• Rosie O'Donnell's new live-from-New York variety show will have a test segment which airs Nov. 26, the night before Thanksgiving. [Fox 411]
• Amy Winehouse and Mark Ronson! Recording together again! On a track for a tribute album to music legend Quincy Jones! Don't fuck it up, Amy! [Mirror]
• Broadway theaters will dim their lights tonight in honor of Paul Newman, who first set foot on a Broadway stage in 1953. [Reuters]
• 90210 has been yanked off the air in Australia, due to poor ratings. [Perez Hilton]
• Fasten your seatbelts: Annette Benning will star as Margo Channing in All About Eve in a one-night-only staged reading at the Actors Fund benefit. [Variety]
• Natalie Cole is on bed rest after being hospitalized in New York last month due to a setback in her battle with Hepatitis C. [Reuters]
• James Earl Jones will receive the 2008 Screen Actors Guild Life Achievement Award. He was mute as a child because of a stuttering problem, but overcame it to be the most recognizable voice: Darth Vader in Star Wars, Mufasa in The Lion King and spots for CNN. He says: "Through a love of reading, I was able to overcome my muteness and pursue a career in which my voice would be my most prominent asset." He also says: "Luke. I am your father." [AP]
• Dolly Parton will serve as the ambassador for the 75th anniversary of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. [AP]
• News you cannot use: Marisa Tomei's fake nipple piercings in her new movie took a long time to attach. [Daily Express]
• This paper says Catherine Zeta-Jones had an "off day" and looked orange. She looks okay to me. [Mirror]
• Cameron Diaz paid tribute to her late father, Emilio, at a special screening of There's Something About Mary. "My daddy's in this movie for two seconds," she told the audience. Then she described his scene and did an imitation of his performance. [People]
• Hollywood conservatives Jon Voight, Gary Sinise, Kelsey Grammer and Dennis Miller attended a John McCain fundraiser on Wednesday night in L.A. Zzzzzzz. [E!]
• Robert De Niro and Marty Scorsese are joining cinematic forces for the ninth time. The flick is I Heard You Paint Houses, about the mob hitman believed to have 86'd Jimmy Hoffa. [E!]
• The Writers Guild of America has filed an unfair labor practice complaint against Tyler Perry's production studio. [NY Times]
• Noel Gallagher says Liam Gallagher dyes his hair and wears makeup. [The Sun]
• Uh, this is a UK-specific headline, to be sure: "Geri Halliwell most successful female celebrity author of 08." [Mirror]
• Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky: Getting married tonight. [Page Six]
• "I had this irrational fear at first that by moving on i would be leaving him behind. But that's obviously what you must do, as a parent. I have grabbed life by the throat and I am packing in as much as I can and trying to keep things fun for the boys, actually." — Natasha McElhone, on the tragic death of her husband. [Daily Mail]
• "Having a girlfriend right now would be out of the question. I would like to settle down and have a family. But I'm only 24. Definitely not any time soon!" — Olympic gold medal swimmer Ryan Lochte. [People]
• "Here’s the thing about hair; I think most people think that I have Lego hair, like I can just take it on and off in one piece, and that’s not quite the case — although pretty close. I refer to this [phenomenon] as Lego hair, when people think that about me. I think hair is just, like, the most important thing about you. Besides your soul, or maybe your heart, or maybe your crotch…. Or maybe the order I just put those in says a little something about who I am." — Pete Wentz. [People]
• "I’m not gay but I might as well be. I’m the [woman] of the group. We live a gay lifestyle. […] I never read tabloids, I never buy books or go on Perez Hilton and I never ever watch the news. All news is bad. You never hear them say, ‘This dog gave birth to six puppies today.’ It’s always negative, like, ‘All these people got killed.’ I stay totally away from it." — Brooke Hogan, noted wit. [ONTD]
• "It's been incorrectly alleged that I'd abuse a romantic attachment as a publicity stunt. That's below the belt. To love and be loved is the most beautiful thing that can happen to a person, and one's own life is more important than all the glamour and fame in the world." — Jennifer Aniston. [Daily Express]
• "People said, 'You looked better than Beyoncé.' Well, that’s not possible. It’s nice that young people hold me up as a model. Beyoncé is elegant and is handling her career well. A lot of new stars go overboard on sex. They’re half-naked up there. My dresses were a bit short, but I stayed respectable." — Tina Turner, whose tour kicked off this week. [The.Life Files]

• Britney was at a middle school in The Bronx yesterday to present a $10,000 check for the music program. The donation came from Elizabeth Arden, which is behind Brit's fragrances, Believe, Fantasy and Curious. [People]
• Hey, guess who has another perfume coming out in December? [ONTD]
• So yesterday we read that Britney wanted to buy her sex tape from Adnan Ghalib. Today Adnan says: "There is no sex tape. I’m extremely upset and taking legal action." Um, against whom? Also, even if there is no "sex" tape, there's no doubt he has some footage of her dazed and naked. You just know it. Think about the state she was in back then. [The Sun]
• Oh here we go, more quotes from Adnan: "There is no sex tape, and I've never claimed there is one. I don't know where these quotes I'm supposed to have said have come from. What I do know is they certainly didn't come from me and they are completely false. I'm extremely upset and distressed and I'm taking legal action... This story has caused a lot of hurt to my family and people close to me. There is no sex tape. That is the end of the matter." [Star]
• OMFG: Did LC hook up with JustinBobby behind Audrina's back??? [E!]

• Lily Allen's friends want her to go to rehab, since she drinks too much and always feels depressed. Sniff. [Perez Hilton]
• Tina Fey's Palin videos are getting big traffic for NBC's website. And she's not even an SNL regular anymore. [MediaWeek]
• The Heather Locklear/Jill Ishkanian story is long and complicated, but it seems to involve Denise Richards. [Jossip]
• Did you know that Charlize Theron makes a shitload of money just for wearing jewelry? [The Smoking Gun]
• Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo: Winter wedding? [The Superficial]
• Have you seen this video with Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, Benicio Del Toro, Laura Linney, Eva Longoria, Leo DiCaprio and ton of other celebs encouraging you to vote? [People]
• There's also a video with Demi Moore and Ashton and "Barack Obama." [Perez Hilton]
• David Beckham spent the whole night drinking with some guy he thought was Rex Lee — Lloyd from Entourage — but it was just a prankster. [Mirror]
• Shia LaBeouf: Injured again, this time above the eyebrow, by a prop on the set of Transformers. He got stitches, then it was back to work. [Perez Hilton]
• Bianca Golden, the America's Next Top Model contestant who had an airport showdown with Nikki Blonsky and her family this summer, has spoken out for the first time about the incident to Tyra Banks (of course!). Bianca says Nikki was rude to her family from the beginnning and that "her father … punched my mom. He knocked her out. He hit my mom with such force she stumbled back, and when she stumbled back, the whole family got up and attacked my mom." Then the Blonsky family supposedly yelled racist remarks at the Goldens. DRAMA! [Perez Hilton]
• Jamie Hince, Kate Moss's ex, went to a psychic in L.A. after a "massive drinking session" and had to be helped out the place. Did the clairvoyant see a reconciliation in her crystal ball? [The Sun]
• Word is Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady will get married very soon. A friend says: "I don't think they will even bother getting engaged — and will just slip off and marry quietly." [Perez Hilton]
• Russell Crowe gained 63 pounds for his role in Body Of Lies. He says: "I'll have that cheeseburger for breakfast, thank you!" [UPI]
• A women's shelter cut headliner Sandra Bernhard from its annual benefit after she said Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin would be gang-raped if she ever visited New York. Jokes! [AP]
• Russell Brand wants to sleep with Helen Mirren. "She's so sexy and enchanting, just look at her form." They're going to be working together in a new film version of Shakespeare's The Tempest. Russell says: "I'll be all over her. I don't know how I'll get any work done." [Mirror]
• Is Holly Madison heading for The Hills? She was seen partying with Lo, Brody and Frankie. [E!]
• Jane Kaczmarek says even though she and hubs Bradley Whitford are television stars, their family only has one TV in the house. "We don't watch much TV," she claims. "We're big readers." [UPI]
• Were those nude Marilyn Monroe photos that are the subject of a lawsuit found in a garbage can 35 years ago? [AP]
• Robbie Williams is working on an aliens-inspired album, and has been writing alien-anthems at a UFO camp in Trout Lake, WA — a hot spot for alien encounters. [Perez Hilton]
• You know how Courtney Semel smacked a security guard in Vegas back in August? She's getting off with just paying a $250 fine. [TMZ]
• A cookbook from rapper Coolio? LOL! He says: "I'm a gourmet chef. I have my own YouTube channel for cooking. I do a lot of healthy fusion food - I do Black Italian - Blitalian, Black Asian - Blasian, Black English - Blenglish and I'm about to try Black Scottish - Blottish. I like traditional food and putting my own twist on it." [Daily Express]
• Get your tie dye out, Phish is reuniting. [Newser]
• Rickrolling has brought Rick Astley back into the public eye, and he's up for an MTV Europe Music Award this year, although he has never been nominated before. [BBC News]
• Behold: Luke Ledger, Heath's cousin. Also an actor. [News.com.au]
• Here's a funny little story told by actor Sir Michael Gambon, about Johnny Depp meeting the Queen. [Telegraph]
• Ang Lee is working on a comedy about Woodstock. The 1969 concert, not the tiny bird who's friends with Snoopy. [Reuters]
• "I think my only trick is… be normal and kind of have your shit together. And be consistent and reliable. Just not a flake. Really, the thing is, not to be a superflake. Don't be an asshole. Don't be supercocky. Don't be a show-off. Everyone for some reason feels the need to show off." — David Spade, on how he gets so many chicks. [Radar]
• "I definitely think there's more opportunity in television to a certain degree. But I don't know that there's as much opportunity for a lot of people of color to spread their wings because sometimes it came be very limited. But there are so many filmmakers that are willing to take more risk, and do color-blind casting — that's how a lot of things have come to pass for me […} You can get shafted both ways — you can be too American, or you can be too Chinese. It's a very difficult combination to be neither/nor, or either/or. It's nice to be able to embrace all cultures and to jump from one thing to another, which is kind of the whole reason for acting, to transform yourself, you know?" — Lucy Liu. [Wall Street Journal]
• "I have a great guy that's been around me for 15 years and he likes to yell at me every time I come into the office. He's a cranky old man. I love him. He is a Jungian therapist. He's taught me to listen to my psyche, be aware of what is going on and to make great choices." — Pamela Anderson. [Guardian]
• "The film is particularly painful for some people to watch. They keep hoping for a different ending. The great thing for me as an actor is I get to play all that anger on screen. So I don't have to live with it." — Kevin Spacey, on his flick Recount, about the 2000 election and the hanging chad debacle. [Independent]

[Los Angeles, September 30. Image via x17]

• Yesterday we heard there was no sex tape; today Britney wants to buy the tape she made with Adnan Ghalib from him, so she can destroy it. Even if they're not having sex on the video, she's probably loopy and naked. She might need to give this guy a lot of cash to make him go away. [The Sun]
• Meanwhile, Adnan Ghalib has filed for divorce. Don't forget: He was married the whole time he was dating Brit. [TMZ]
• New show Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels has been halted after a crew member driving a production vehicle fell asleep at the wheel and killed two 19-year olds in another vehicle. Bret says: "As a father of two, I cannot even imagine what the families must be going through at this time. I will make every attempt to reach out to them to let them know that my heart and prayers are with them during their time of grief." As of yet, neither Bret nor VH1 have contacted the families. [Perez Hilton]
• Angelina Jolie: In therapy? So are millions of Americans. More on this in Midweek Madness. [Star]
• DJ AM and and Paris Hilton have been texting. He wrote to her: "so lucky to be alive." Paris says: "I think God saved him." [E!]
• You know how Courtney Love said Kurt Cobain's ashes had been stolen? An Australian artist named Natascha Stellmach claims to have the ashes. She plans on putting the ashes in a joint and SMOKING them in a joint in a "secret Berlin location." Then she will announce that she feels stupid and contagious. [NY Mag]

• Sharon Stone wanted her 8-year-old son to get Botox injections in his feet. This was revealed in some custody papers; apparently the kid had a "problem" with "foot odor." Mom suggested Botox; the kid's dad, Phil Bronstein, thought of the "simple and common sense approach" of making sure the boy wore socks and used foot deodorant. [LA Times, TMZ, HuffPo]
• Jennifer Aniston is tanorexic! She bought two tanning beds — at $34,000 each — for her L.A. home after the one she had broke. "She freaked out because the next day, she had a major photo shoot," sez a source. "She had to go to a public tanning place. She learned her lesson after that — always have a back-up." Or, you know, just go to Mexico. [Star]
• This picture of Heather Locklear "arriving" at the police station after her DUI bust is just sad. [The.Life Files]
• Oh, wow: The woman who dialed 911 on Heather Locklear is Jill Ishkanian, a former Us Weekly staffer who was under investigation by the FBI. Right after she called authorities, she called a paparazzi agency. Plus: Ishkanian apparently is the only witness who says Lockelear was driving erratically and that she was drunk, even though it's already established she was not under the influence of alcohol. Ishkanian was in the movie America The Beautiful talking about using celebrities. She runs CelebrityBabylon.com. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan may be on vacation in Mexico but her legal troubles never take a break. Her lawyers were in court seeking dismissal of a portion of a lawsuit filed against her by her former bodyguard, David Kim. He claims she owes him money; LL's lawyers sat there's no evidence of fraud. [E!]
• Daniel Craig was in East Hampton and heard bagpipes coming from inside a restaurant. He walked in and found out it was a baptism celebration. Craig ended up holding the baby and posing for photos. The softer side of Bond! [Page Six]
• Despite reports that it's back on, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman are just friends, says a publicist. So calm down. [UPI]
• Oh no: Audrina Patridge wants her own show. And MTV is actually discussing it with her! [Perez Hilton]
• Sean Penn's playing San Francisco’s first openly gay politician, Harvey Milk, in a new film. Apparently after kissing James Franco, Sean texted Madonna: "I just broke my cherry kissing a guy. I thought of you. I don’t know why." Madonna wrote back: "Congratulations." [LA Times]
• Speaking of Madonna, the trailer for her film looks not half bad. [Jossip]
• Two high school girls were suspended for dancing to Katy Perry's song at a football game. It was Texas, where "I Kissed A Girl" is threatening, apparently. [Perez Hilton]
• Do not make the mistake of listening to Paris Hilton's techno-tinged new song about finding a new best friend. Just don't. Some of us haven't fully recovered. [People]
• Beyoncé's new CD probably will not be done in time for her Nov. 18 release date. [Rush & Molloy]
• Mark Wahlberg's son was born on Sept. 16 but Mark and his fiancée Rhea Durham just settled on a name: Brendan Joseph. [E!]
• Yes! YES! Jack White and Alicia Keys in the video for the new Bond song, "Another Way To Die." [People]
• Katie Price, the "glamour model" known as Jordan, and her husband Peter Andre, might be breaking up. [Perez Hilton]
• Oh wait, here they are leaving a club all kissy kissy. [The Sun]
• Kendra from Girls Next Door and Joe Francis: Seen making out in Miami. [Page Six]
• Simon Pegg is learning how to lose friends and alienate people. He said of Ricky Gervais: "He said there'd been no good British films since 1950. What an idiot. If you go to LA, you can get sucked into that." [Telegraph]
• Some film exec on Forest Whitaker: "Ugly, black, and unbankable." [StereoHyped]
• There's no street named after Lou Reed in New York, and he thinks that's bullshit. He says: "Lou Reed Way would be nice. Any little street would do." [Gothamist]
• Fast food joint Sonic wants to target young women, so they're creating a bunch of episodic-type ads to run during The Hills. [Brandweek]
• Britain's Daily Star published a picture of Sienna Miller cornered by more than a dozen cameramen while waiting for an elevator, red-faced and near tears. She sued; stating she was clearly in distress and being harassed; the tabloid paid her $27,000 in damages and issued an apology. [E!]
• Kenny Chesney is making like Diddy and getting into the booze biz. He's developing a "premium rum" with Constellation Spirits. [UPI]
• Russell Crowe knows how to fix the economy: "I have been intently watching the political process," he says. "If they want to stimulate the economy and get people spending so they can look after their mortgage ... give everyone $1 million.'' Except that would be 300 trillion dollars, way more than the $700 billion bailout package. [News.com.au]
• Kim Kardashian is not married, she just calls her boyfriend "hubby." Or "Papa Bear." [E!]
• Kim was booted from Dancing With The Stars last night, on the 5th anniversary of her father's death. Robert Kardashian was best known for being OJ Simpson's lawyer. [Yahoo News]
• Three people who work on Madonna's tour speak about the costumes, the concept and Her Madgesty. The costume designer says: "Madonna has eight costume changes. And everyone gets doubles of everything, including the shoes, to last the duration of the tour. Madonna sometimes has up to six copies of one particular outfit so that it always looks fresh and great. […] We develop a lot of her clothes ourselves. So we go to the end of the earth if we have to to find the right fabric. Or if we have shoes made, we collaborate with wonderful people at Miu Miu and Prada. Madonna gets to play different characters, whether it's a sexy robot or a gypsy." [NY Daily News]
• The weird thing about Stephen Colbert being in the comic of Spider-Man is that you end up staring at his illustrated crotch. [Perez Hilton]
• Janet Jackson is out of the hospital. It was probably exhaustion, says boyfriend Jermaine Dupri. "A 42-year-old body can't handle what a 22-year-old body can," he says. "I can tell you that she's definitely tired." [People]
• Oh, but while Janet was in the hospital, Jermaine was out partying. [E!]
• Billy Joel is helping to pay for the funeral of a fisherman whose body was found not far from his house in Long Island. Joel says: "I’ve always supported our local commercial fishermen. These are the people, both men and women, who have to go out in all types of conditions to bring us our fish." [NY Times]
• A letter written by a young Princess Diana in which she admitted trying to marry off her elder sister to her future husband Prince Charles has been sold at auction for £12,000. [Yahoo News]
• Bollywood is on strike! Movie shoots are canceled! [Yahoo News]
• "She told me that you can't have both a love life and a career in pictures at the same time, and it has proven to be true - she was right." — Patricia Arquette's memory of working with Bette Davis. [Page Six]
• "Paul Newman told me his hotel in Chicago was a room at the YMCA, which was not hard to imagine. He considered himself just another member of the acting company, who would call his wife during breaks and confess to feeling self-conscious on the first day of shooting. But he was Paul Newman, and could not mask the fact he was simply – yet elegantly – an extraordinary artist and man. How lucky we all have been." — Tom Hanks. [People]
• "Bad boys just keep following me around." — Pamela Anderson. [The Sun]

• While everyone was busy focusing on the presidential debates, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds got married. The ceremony took place Saturday night at a "remote wilderness resort" outside of Vancouver, Canada. The bride is 23, the groom is 31 and they have been dating since 2007. [Us Magazine, People]
• Heather Locklear was busted on suspicion of driving under the influence Saturday night in Santa Barbara, CA. Apparently a witness saw her driving erratically while leaving a parking lot. This report says: The witness said Locklear was revving her engine loudly, and backed over a pair of sunglasses several times." Cops found Heather by the side of the highway "disoriented and impaired." Prescription drugs appear to be the blame; Heather just left a treatment facility for anxiety and depression 2 months ago. She looks rather stunned in her mug shot. [People, TMZ, ET]
• Heath Ledger left behind at least $145,000 in assets and cash — but maybe as much as $20 million in the estate — and Heath's father has announced that every penny will go to Matilda. [News.com.au]
• The company that wrote Heath Ledger's $10 million life insurance policy is being sued after claiming the actor's death might have been a suicide, even though officials concluded it was accidental. If it was suicide, the company won't have to pay. [TMZ]
• Jermaine Dupri partied so hard on his 36th birthday that he vomited in Janet Jackson's lap. [Page Six]

• Paul Newman made plans to continue to be charitable after his death. One hundred percent of the profits from his food company, Newman's Own, continue to benefit camps for children with life-threatening illnesses and thousands of other charities. [Yahoo News]
• Barbra Streisand on Sarah Palin: "When you run for the second highest office in the land, you better be ready to answer questions from the press and the American people. […] This reminds me of the movie business...when the studio knows it has a dud on its hands, they ban reviewers from seeing it beforehand." [Campaign Silo]
• Amy Winehouse's friends have her on 24-hour surveillance because she is "in a very fragile state at the moment." [The Sun]
• Amy smacked someone in the face for no reason last Thursday, not that anyone is surprised. [TMZ]
• Did Amy's bodyguard hit a paparazzo with his car? [Daily Express]
• "Look where I am now. Look what happened to my dreams. This isn’t a life – I’m a mess, look at me. What life do I have? My life begins when Blake gets out of prison. He is my life, I want to see him." — Amy Winehouse. [Mirror]
• Could former drug addict Russell Brand mentor Amy? [Daily Mail]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham on her kids: "They are getting American accents. I think it’s really cute." [The Sun]
• Please to be looking at these "kinky boots" Posh wore: wet-look pleather with no heel. [The Sun]
• The Galaxy is called Major League Soccer's richest club, thanks to David Beckham. [Daily Express]
• Cammy Diaz's boyfriend Paul Sculfor stopped doing coke when his hair started falling out. He says: "I'm lucky it grew back. I'm not vain but I'm obsessed with my hair." [Mirror]
• Mel "Scary Spice" B will get somewhere in the six figures for "artistic yet revealing photos" for Playboy. Chances that the magazine cover line will be "Zigazig-ah!": High. [Mirror]
• You know Amy Adams of Junebug and Enchanted? Her mom works at Starbucks. "I was like, 'Mom, you cannot tell everybody who comes in to get a latte that your daughter is an Oscar nominee." [Page Six]
• A while back, Kate Moss drew a self-portrait in lipstick; Pete Doherty wrote, "Who needs blood when you've got lipstick?" on the canvas; Saturday it was purchased for £33,600 at auction by a "mystery buyer." [BBC News]
• Jack Osbourne and his mom Sharon witnessed a dude steal a woman's purse; Jack chased the guy and tackled him, restraining him until cops arrived. "I could see the girl was in trouble; it just felt like the natural thing to do. I'm glad it turned out OK," Jack says. Get the man a cape! [UPI]
• Chris Brown and Rihanna hit Kentucky Fried Chicken and Ri's shoes are pretty intense for a fast food outing. [The.Life Files]
• Don't use your BlackBerry at the table when Countess Luann de Lesseps is in the area; she will school you. And if you're Asian, she'll tell you that European men "adore Asian females because of their submissiveness. So work that to your advantage." [Page Six]
• Kylie Minogue is set to perform at the opening of the Atlantis Hotel in Dubai in November, but the terror threat level is high for the event. [News.com.au]
• A Kylie musical??? [The Sun]
• Dennis Quaid is pissed that Meg Ryan's been blabbing about their their past. "It was eight years ago, and I find it unbelievable that Meg continues publicly to rehash and rewrite the story of our relationship," he says. [Rush & Molloy]
• Have you seen that Kid Rock/Dale Earnhardt Jr. commercial for the National Guard? You will want to harm yourself or others. [Jossip]
• A remake of My Fair Lady will star Keira Knightley and either George Clooney or Brad Pitt. The two friends are battling for the role of Henry Higgins, each offering to take a pay cut. Who do you think should play the professor? [Daily Express]
• Ricky Gervais is not necessarily going to host the Oscars. The producers haven't made any decisions yet. [Daily Express]
• Kristin Scott Thomas makes films in English and in French. "So far there hasn’t been much crossover between the French-language career and the English one, but maybe it will happen this time," she says. Her film I've Loved You So Long opens October 24. [NY Times]
• Sure, she battled heart disease before going to Dancing With The Stars, but Toni Braxton is a surivor, not a victim. Get it right. [TMZ]
• Kathy Griffin is suing the cybersquatters who own KathyGriffin.com. Only Kathy makes fun of Kathy! [Perez Hilton]
• Grammy-winning R&B singer Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds and his girlfriend Nicole Pantenburg have welcomed their first child together. [People]
• Tina Turner's concert tour starts October 1 in Kansas City, MO. "I've been away from America — home — for at least a good 12 years. I have some memories of certain towns and when we started to think about where to start… Kansas City and St. Louis were areas I played a lot, a lot, when I was here." She also says: "I think the costumes are fantastic." [UPI]
• A Sean John employee got his hands on Pharrell Williams' e-mail address somehow and contacted him repeatedly; the "situation" was "handled internally." [Page Six]
• Jeremy Piven: Seen swigging booze out of a tiny bottle during the Emmys. [Page Six]
• Blind items: "Which fame-hungry 'social' spends so much time stuffing cocaine up her nose, her hangers-on have taken to calling her 'Coco Puff?' Which designer daughter and her husband are stirring the pot on both coasts? She had tongues wagging in LA over her scary skinny bod, while her other half was recently kicked out of a Hamptons hot spot for slugging another guy." [Page Six]
• Little Britain: The Movie? [Mirror]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood faces £50million divorce pay-out after he is pictured on intimate date with Russian lover, 20. [Daily Mail]
• Clark Gable almost walked off the set of Gone With The Wind because of rampant racism. [Page Six]
• Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band will perform at this year's Super Bowl halftime show in Tampa, FL. [CNN]
• "Contrary to a spate of recent reports, Robert Plant will not be touring or recording with Led Zeppelin. Anyone buying tickets online to any such event will be buying bogus tickets." — A statement from Robert Plant. [BBC News]
• "You sit there and say, Who am I selling this movie to? Who’s the audience? And the answer is, No one." — A Hollywood insider on Tom Cruise's new flick, Valkyrie. [Fox 411]
• "There was something about him. There was definitely this sensation that we already knew each other, we just had to get better acquainted. It was very intense very early on and we were very much attracted to each other." — Bob Dylan's former long-term girlfriend, Suze Rotolo, who is on the cover of his breakthrough album Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan. [Daily Express]
• "Everybody’s like, 'Oh, we’ve been waiting for this album forever.' But no one has waited longer than me. I’ve been waiting since I was 7 years old." — Jennifer Hudson, whose self-titled debut drops tomorrow. [NY Times]
• "My heart just feels a little bit different, softer and somehow more in love. I don't know how. But it just feels really romantic and lovely." — Ellen DeGeneres on married life. [People]
• "It’s fun, it’s not meant to be taken so seriously, it’s cheeky, and let’s face it, we’re living in a world right now where the economy has gone into hell in a hand basket, our environment is in a lot of trouble, and the world is just not a great place, we’re still at war. If I can throw some humor out of speaking in third person, it’s really not that serious, and I think we have a lot bigger issues in this world to worry about than what tense I’m speaking in." — Project Runway's Suede. [NY Mag]