Jezebel 
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New York, 4:38 AM
Tue Dec 22
55 posts in the last 24 hours
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12/16/09
But I do think women need to think about promotions and wage increases more.
At my first post college job, the salary was set and unmovable but being fresh undergrads I don't think we knew that. Only one person out of the 12 people I knew tried to negotiate at all, and he was one of the three guys at my level.
I negotiated my way into that job my playing a job offer elsewhere off an interview, but it didn't occur to me to bargain. I've seen a lot of comments in the open threads where people don't even try for a raise or worse still, stay at a job that won't promote them without looking elsewhere. You can often get more money as a new employee.
I know that women are looked down on for this behavior, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't do it. Your co-workers and bosses don't actually have to like you. It is a risk, but asking for more isn't a bad idea.
12/16/09
I think men need to grow up if they can't handle women not dressing like dowdy school marms at the work place. What the hell difference should it make in how we dress as long as it's tasteful? Are there infinite articles for men on how they should tuck in their shirts and not where Spiderman ties to work if THEY want to be taken seriously?
12/15/09
I was stupid and embarrassed, and I should have sued their asses, but I didn't. (That last part was never put in writing and he denied saying it later when I brought it up with HR.)
12/15/09
12/16/09
You do have to recognize, no matter how attractive and "easy" you make it, raising a child is tough, and pregnancy is tough, and not everyone wants to do it, and not everyone, even with the best benefits evar, will "choose life." I mean, at this point in my life, I don't want a baby. i am using birth control, but birth control sometimes fails; this is a reality. And you could offer me one year of fully paid maternity leave and put in a fully-subsidized daycare center in my office - I'm still not having that baby. And I'll never apologize for having that opinion or making that decision, if FSM forbid I would have to.
12/17/09
And while I'm not in any position to judge your personal choice, I can say that there are many people, myself included, who do actually want a baby, or are at least considering it for some point in their lives. People in this category are the "swing voters" so to speak, and might decide that even an accidental pregnancy might be worth carrying to term if it can be made viable for their lives, economically and health-wise.
I am absolutely not in favor of forcing any woman to bear a child she does not want to carry. I am also not in favor of allowing women to be in a situation where they feel they have to choose between their own lives and the life of a fetus. My solution to this would be health care, health education, and birth control for everyone, good adoption and foster care systems, paid maternity leave and child care, adequate schools, and, as a last resort, safe, legal, and non-judgemental abortion available to anyone in need of it.
That's what my utopia looks like.
12/15/09
12/15/09
Why?
Because the guy who'd been hired the same day as me was promoted. Why? He'd asked for it.
I think the Washington Post guy kind of left out something important:
Men are socialized to demand things. Women are not. The work place is designed for how men socialize/relate to each other. It makes it far harder to advance, because for many women, they have to learn a new way of acting. For most men, it's far more easy to adjust, because that's more how they relate.
12/15/09
But women are punished for doing such that - they are considered stupid for doing that.
12/15/09
But guess who'll be doing the job anyway? For the fourth time for the same company.
I am going to push the issue as hard as I can without jeopardizing my job.
12/15/09
I know nothing of your work environment, or your situation, but it might be possible that you keep getting turned down because they know you'll only push so far, and then they won't have to "deal with you" for awhile. Have you considered pushing the issue just a smidge over the line of job jeopardization?
12/16/09
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12/15/09
And ultimately - if you know men are more likely to ask and you then make asking a requirement, you've just knowingly swayed the promotion process in men's favor.
12/15/09
Not to say we don't need reforms, because YES it's sorely needed, but it makes me extra double dose stabby when it's argued that we can't focus our energies on more than one area at a time. My poor lady brain just can't handle multitasking...how patronizing.
12/15/09
12/15/09
12/15/09
12/15/09
I'd start documenting, every 20 minutes, exactly what you do every day, every task. That gives you ammunition to go to your boss and tell him you can't physically keep up this pace and proof that you aren't just complaining, you are doing far too much work.
12/15/09
12/15/09
The only advice I can give you is that sometimes it can help to start incrementally lowering expectations. If you think something will take you an hour, tell them it will be an hour and a half. Try not to get rattled by other people's "right now right now!", since a lot of people are just being silly panic monkeys anyway (or they need you right now because they let their own shit get behind). It will help you find little buffer zones of time, bit by bit, and then you can work on enlarging them and gaining control over your time. Maybe it's only 15 minutes here or there at first, but that's time to pee or have a sandwich (both if you're a brave multitasker!).
12/15/09
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12/15/09
My boss, on the other hand, is literally the company's champion for work / life balance (I work under HR right now) so I've got it easy for the time being. But at my last job, they seemed to be of the opinion since that I was the one without kids, I had no right to want to go home from work at 5...
12/15/09
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12/15/09
Way to take charge as a manager and choose your leaders for yourself.
12/15/09
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12/15/09
It helped that his boss had been hearing from my subordinates how many hours I was actually working. So it wasn't like my boss had to argue very hard for the extra money for me.
12/16/09
12/15/09
12/15/09
eta: and frankly the trend is AWAY from workers rights, not towards them.
12/15/09
12/15/09