argh hazing. One of my best friends died on March 1st as a result of this shit. There were so many times where someone could have reached out and stopped what was happening. But instead he was forced to drink copious amounts of alcohol and when he died wearing their jersey, they took it off his dead body to cover their asses before an ambulance arrived. Bitter and angry much? yes.
I don't understand the appeal of joining a sorority at all, but maybe that's because we don't really have them in Europe, although there are some old societies at my uni that have similar hazing rituals.
I mean, a group where you HAVE to be friends with everyone? Surely not everyone really loves each other like sisters?
What's the point of hazing anyway? I wouldn't want to join any group that would humiliate and torture me before they let me in. Although I have a seriously Groucho Marx attitude towards all clubs.
From the post, I was expecting that people just ignored the women. I wasn't expecting the guys to stay and watch like they were saving it for the spank bank. That's just fucked up.
I always think this show is kind of bullshit when it comes to what the average person would do. Maybe the man at the very begining would have helped the girls, but he was only in town for the guys. Maybe the issue is people who get involved and not gender.
it's interesting that all the women were thin and considered to be attractive. i wonder if those young guys gaping at them would have the same reaction if the women doing and participating in the hazing weren't so camera-ready by media's standards..
ew, ew, EW. The gross, fat, disgusting pig-men just watching the girls makes me want to VOMIT.
I think in a lot of ways we have the porn industry to thank for this one. I just watched a presentation about violence in porn and how it causes some men to be more likely to believe that women get off on being demeaned. I just can't help thinking that if violent porn didn't exist, a lot of those men would have been more alarmed by what they were seeing. Even if they themselves don't watch that type of thing, the prevalence of it affects peoples' feelings about this kind of thing in ways that they themselves don't even realize.
@Birthday Girl: It really is horrifying and gross, isn't it? I think you have a point about violence and sexuality being intermingled in our culture. You don't even have to look as far as porn - how about Friday The 13th? Girls looking REALLY HOT when they're about to be murdered. Not at all nice.
This is absolutely fucking disgusting behavior. When Lyndie England or whatever her name is does it at GitMo, she goes to jail. So should the young men and women who do this shit to each other. I pray my teens will NEVER allow anyone to treat them in this manner.
I would absolutely step in. No question whatsoever. Wild horses would not be able to stop me.
@ItchykooParker: This brings up another very common place where hazing is popular. The military!!! Get promoted? Slam chevrons into sternum! Get jump wings? Slam wings into sternum. Good Times.
@ItchykooParker: Oh Lord NO! I would punch a dude in the face! Most (not all, though) people who have had this happen subject themselves to being hazed. Which is sad. They don't put the backs on their chevrons, because everyone will think they are hardcore when they get slammed on the chest and the prongs dig in. I know many a friend with scars from these rituals.
@kelsium: In the interest of full disclosure, I was in a sorority for a while but ended up dropping out before graduation.
I read it. There were parts that were spot-on and others that were really far off. Alexandra Robbins has been criticized for her shoddy reporting--for example, the fact that she disguised so many elements of the story and never--even now, after the entire class has graduated--revealed where the story took place or who she followed makes some people think that she made parts/all of it. (I'm fairly sure that she shadowed girls at Southern Methodist, but there is no real evidence to back this up.) A lot of her "interviews" were conducted via email or IM, so they weren't particularly credible. She repeats a lot of facts that are blatantly wrong (stating chapters of a certain sorority in a state where they've never had chapters, certain ritual aspects were wrong) or nearly impossible to believe (the drug room in the beginning, "circle the fat" hazing story that is widely repeated but to this day has never once been proven or even been raised as a formal accusation against any sorority anywhere in the country). I also think that she went out of her way to point fingers at the sororities for things that weren't their fault--for example, she blames Amy's lowself-esteem (and subsequent refusal to report her rape) on the sorority, despite plenty of evidence that her low self-esteem predated the sorority by a number of years.
Did you have any more specific questions about it?
@nora charles: Not really, I just wondered what people's impressions of it were. I read it (I have not been in a sorority) and thought that it was interesting, but I took it with a grain of salt because it seemed purposefully sensationalistic in a lot of ways.
@kelsium: I've read it, and I was close friends with a lot of people active in Greek life, so here's my $0.02: what she wrote has little or no resemblance to GL on my campus. Neither our girls nor guys hazed. The parties that were open to the public were dry. The Greeks had the highest GPA of any student group, and were some of the best friends I've ever made and maintained. I thought it was sensationalized, overly dramatic, and quite possibly made up--a lot of the events seemed just a little too convenient for her narrative, like the girl sleeping with her professor.
@sciencerules: oh, and revealing ritual is just LOW. Those things are secret for a reason--it's one of the things that bonds you together as a group, this shared, secret, common knowledge.
@bluebears: This reminds me of that David Sedaris story where he is talking about the sleepover where he got his "friends" naked, and had them sit in his lap after losing a poker game. Makes me think there was a few very happy gay men in that fraternity.
Also, I know we had this discussion awhile back, but educate a poor Canadian bonerkiller: What is the benefit of sororities, besides institutionalizing mean-girl behaviour and policing class boundaries? And no, I don't think volunteering at local soup kitchens is sufficient, because we did that too outside the confines of a Greek system.
@PilgrimSoul: Honestly, increased access to parties and booze, plus more chances to meet people. You can make friends outside of the Greek system, of course, but the Greek system puts you in constant contact with a larger number of people. Plus, if you're going to school far from home it is nice to have that immediate cocoon of people looking out for you and inviting you to things as soon as you get to school; it helps stave off homesickness. It also can help open doors to getting involved on campus and occasionally helps network when you're trying to get jobs post-college too.
Since the anti-Greek backlash of the 1970s, Greeks have been pushed to "prove their worth," and thus they've trotted out the lines about community service and creating leaders and all that jazz. But ultimately, they are 90 percent social organizations, and there shouldn't be anything wrong with that.
@PilgrimSoul: well you know, I wasn't in one but I do think they help make a big university a little smaller. If that makes sense. Some people just have a hard time meeting people. They're just social clubs that have taken steroids.
Okay, why shouldn't there be anything wrong with that? Why should an arbitrary membership to an organization be an in? Why is it good for people to cluster with other people like themselves for "community and solidarity"? Don't we have an obligation to prevent "like-minded" people from concentrating power for themselves?
@PilgrimSoul: Greek orgs insist through their teeth that they aren't about paying for your friends but I know at least one greek who has never tried to hide the fact that that's just what she did when she joined a sorority. My best friend from high school will admit without hesitation that she wouldn't have joined a sorority if she had had an easier time adjusting and making friends during her first month at college. If you say "so you paid for your friends?", she'll say "yeah, basically" and laugh.
@PilgrimSoul: Well for starters, the benefits of sororities include:
Getting to meet a wide variety of girls who you may not have interacted with through classes, clubs, or sports otherwise. Opportunities for leadership positions and improving leadership skills. Being part of an organization that will support you if you wish to start new programs, initiatives, charity events, outreach services. The opportunity to learn from present and past members, including learning about career opportunities and networking. The chance to learn about the amazing things yours sisters do whether it is academically, athletically or community based, potentially exposing you to something you might interested and want to help/join. Increase your support system, because chances are there will be a girl in your sorority who can help you study for an exam or who has been through a similar situation that you may just need to talk about.
Yes, all of these things are possible without a sorority. But a sorority manages to combine them all (and then some...). I could go on but I won't... I need to get back to my homework (woot, sororities have the highest group GPA on my campus, something like a 3.4 average). Sororities may not be for everyone, and I'll admit I never thought I would join one, but I am very happy I did.
@thatonegirlsays: Well, I don't think it's "pointless." I do think it's negative. And I really don't think I have enough experience with them to cement that position. But I won't lie: I am suspicious of social organizations, not least because universally they have histories of exclusion. And as such, they don't sound like the kind of things I'd like to have in an ideal society.
@Birthday Girl: Ok, for that one girl maybe that was the case. But in my sorority one girl did mention she had been asked if she "bought" her friends. Everyone about died laughing because that is just not we are about or our purpose. I'm sure there are people out there who used it to "buy" friends, but they by no means represent the majority.
@Cookie Dough Monster: My "buying your friends" discomfort was pretty well relieved when my boyfriend reminded me of exactly how many events his frat threw, and how said events cost dollars. Beer isn't free, people.
@missteenwordpower is your sexy Ms. Magoo.: Seriously. We like to have a few formals a year (it's always fun to have a reason to dress up for a night) and the cost for renting a place and buses for transportation is not cheap! Money also goes to keeping our house in wonderful shape and it's a place where anyone in the chapter can come hang out, do homework, and generally relax.
@PilgrimSoul: I never really understood it either( at my school, we have them but the most active one is a lit society a.k.a hipsters partying) but I'm curious though if you see a NPHC frat/sororities community different than a NPC one.
@PilgrimSoul: On exclusion: Yes, my sorority "excluded" in that there were a limited amount of girls that could join each year, and we picked who joined. We excluded: girls with terrible grades (at least a 2.5 was required to join), girls who were bitchy to us or their fellow recruits when we met them (people could weigh in if they knew a girl personally of course, or if they thought she was just shy), girls who we knew did illegal drugs (other than pot, which...i think we had maybe two girls who used?), girls who were known to be drunks, mean girls, racists, homophobes. Girls who acted condescending-- to us, OR to their fellow recruits. Girls who seemed they wouldn't take the committment seriously and were just in it for the parties.
@missteenwordpower is your sexy Ms. Magoo.: Neither is food, or renting out roller rinks, or renting a place for formal, or stuff for the house, or craft supplies, or reimbursing girls for gas, or any other number of things, haha. We couldn't use chapter money for booze, though
@PilgrimSoul: Why would it be bad for people to "cluster with other people like themselves"?
That is an incredibly natural instinct, one that we see in practice even on Jezebel. People gravitate towards others with similar interests, passions, ideas etc.
There is a bit of nepotism that occurs within the Greek system regarding securing positions after college. But the hard truth is that the workforce requires a certain amount of networking. That can be done through sororities or other means. But much of what you get in life has to do with who you know. That isn't always fair but it is often the case.
The Greek system often gets a bad reputation. But I have seen it as a safe haven for my younger family members away from school and a great opportunity for them to meet and get to know new people.
@Jessi Ramsey: Dunno if you'll see this, had to go google NPHC/NPC. But yes, I guess I would.
To me, this "banding together" of white people reinforces race/class privileges and disparities. But, since they do it, I'm not going to fault non-whites for doing the same thing out of sheer self-preservation.
@Slumdog_Mamabear: Isn't nepotism something we should be working towards deconstructing? Yeah it's a hard truth in workforce but like other -isms it denies others access to opportunities for income and/or promotion. Why do we want that continued in our society?
@Jessi Ramsey: It certainly isn't the only kind of nepotism that exists. My point was that people are given jobs based on who they know all the time. That can come from the Greek system, Alumni organizations, sports clubs, and in this day and age it is beginning to be opened up much more due to the social networking opportunities on the web.
How exactly would we go about deconstructing these institutions? The fact remains that even if the Greek system were destroyed, people of like minds will always come together. Fortunately, you don't need to have a few hundred dollars a semester to do that anymore. Perhaps one Jezebel will give another Jezebel preference in a job interview next week.
I feel like I am not making my point very well. In essence, we all live in relation to others. Networking is almost always a part of how we succeed. I have even found it to be essential as a SAHM.
@PilgrimSoul: Its not banding together of white people-- not these days at least. There are minorities in NPC, and on my campus, at least, race was certianly not a factor in membership.
I went to a Jesuit university for undergrad, so no Greek life for us. Instead, the club men's lacrosse and rugby teams would do crazy hazing rituals (such as doing shots of mayonnaise and Bacardi 151 out of a condom). The teams weren't varsity because they were relatively new, so the school didn't really do anything to keep an eye on team parties (they left that up to us, the poor RAs).
@bluetrain84: Back in the day, the rugby club tried to get everyone to sign a petition to allow them to start a frat on campus, but apparently the only people who signed it were on the rugby team. Life on campus was filled with enough college hijinks without inserting a frat into the mix.
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I mean, a group where you HAVE to be friends with everyone? Surely not everyone really loves each other like sisters?
What's the point of hazing anyway? I wouldn't want to join any group that would humiliate and torture me before they let me in. Although I have a seriously Groucho Marx attitude towards all clubs.
03/10/09
There are some bishes in my sorority for sure.
03/10/09
I always think this show is kind of bullshit when it comes to what the average person would do. Maybe the man at the very begining would have helped the girls, but he was only in town for the guys. Maybe the issue is people who get involved and not gender.
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Is she serious?
03/10/09
I think in a lot of ways we have the porn industry to thank for this one. I just watched a presentation about violence in porn and how it causes some men to be more likely to believe that women get off on being demeaned. I just can't help thinking that if violent porn didn't exist, a lot of those men would have been more alarmed by what they were seeing. Even if they themselves don't watch that type of thing, the prevalence of it affects peoples' feelings about this kind of thing in ways that they themselves don't even realize.
Sick.
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I would absolutely step in. No question whatsoever. Wild horses would not be able to stop me.
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I read it. There were parts that were spot-on and others that were really far off. Alexandra Robbins has been criticized for her shoddy reporting--for example, the fact that she disguised so many elements of the story and never--even now, after the entire class has graduated--revealed where the story took place or who she followed makes some people think that she made parts/all of it. (I'm fairly sure that she shadowed girls at Southern Methodist, but there is no real evidence to back this up.) A lot of her "interviews" were conducted via email or IM, so they weren't particularly credible. She repeats a lot of facts that are blatantly wrong (stating chapters of a certain sorority in a state where they've never had chapters, certain ritual aspects were wrong) or nearly impossible to believe (the drug room in the beginning, "circle the fat" hazing story that is widely repeated but to this day has never once been proven or even been raised as a formal accusation against any sorority anywhere in the country). I also think that she went out of her way to point fingers at the sororities for things that weren't their fault--for example, she blames Amy's lowself-esteem (and subsequent refusal to report her rape) on the sorority, despite plenty of evidence that her low self-esteem predated the sorority by a number of years.
Did you have any more specific questions about it?
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@kelsium: It's been a while since I've read it, but mostly I was like, holy crap, I'm lucky my chapter's awesome.
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Since the anti-Greek backlash of the 1970s, Greeks have been pushed to "prove their worth," and thus they've trotted out the lines about community service and creating leaders and all that jazz. But ultimately, they are 90 percent social organizations, and there shouldn't be anything wrong with that.
03/10/09
It sounds like you may have already decided that Greek life is pointless and negative.
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Getting to meet a wide variety of girls who you may not have interacted with through classes, clubs, or sports otherwise. Opportunities for leadership positions and improving leadership skills. Being part of an organization that will support you if you wish to start new programs, initiatives, charity events, outreach services. The opportunity to learn from present and past members, including learning about career opportunities and networking. The chance to learn about the amazing things yours sisters do whether it is academically, athletically or community based, potentially exposing you to something you might interested and want to help/join. Increase your support system, because chances are there will be a girl in your sorority who can help you study for an exam or who has been through a similar situation that you may just need to talk about.
Yes, all of these things are possible without a sorority. But a sorority manages to combine them all (and then some...). I could go on but I won't... I need to get back to my homework (woot, sororities have the highest group GPA on my campus, something like a 3.4 average). Sororities may not be for everyone, and I'll admit I never thought I would join one, but I am very happy I did.
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On exclusion: Yes, my sorority "excluded" in that there were a limited amount of girls that could join each year, and we picked who joined. We excluded: girls with terrible grades (at least a 2.5 was required to join), girls who were bitchy to us or their fellow recruits when we met them (people could weigh in if they knew a girl personally of course, or if they thought she was just shy), girls who we knew did illegal drugs (other than pot, which...i think we had maybe two girls who used?), girls who were known to be drunks, mean girls, racists, homophobes. Girls who acted condescending-- to us, OR to their fellow recruits. Girls who seemed they wouldn't take the committment seriously and were just in it for the parties.
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03/10/09
That is an incredibly natural instinct, one that we see in practice even on Jezebel. People gravitate towards others with similar interests, passions, ideas etc.
There is a bit of nepotism that occurs within the Greek system regarding securing positions after college. But the hard truth is that the workforce requires a certain amount of networking. That can be done through sororities or other means. But much of what you get in life has to do with who you know. That isn't always fair but it is often the case.
The Greek system often gets a bad reputation. But I have seen it as a safe haven for my younger family members away from school and a great opportunity for them to meet and get to know new people.
03/10/09
To me, this "banding together" of white people reinforces race/class privileges and disparities. But, since they do it, I'm not going to fault non-whites for doing the same thing out of sheer self-preservation.
03/10/09
03/10/09
03/10/09
How exactly would we go about deconstructing these institutions? The fact remains that even if the Greek system were destroyed, people of like minds will always come together. Fortunately, you don't need to have a few hundred dollars a semester to do that anymore. Perhaps one Jezebel will give another Jezebel preference in a job interview next week.
I feel like I am not making my point very well. In essence, we all live in relation to others. Networking is almost always a part of how we succeed. I have even found it to be essential as a SAHM.
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my brother knows one of the kids and he pretty much made a bad decision that is costing him scholarships and colleges on top of everything else.
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