Sadie: No. I know GOOP can be risibly tone-deaf, and I know we're all in high dudgeon about the economy...but is she really that bad? I mean, really? Let's look the plus side: she's made some decent movies. Say what you will about her Oscar win, Shakespeare in Love remains a solid view; Emma was pretty good; she was funny on SNL; and who doesn't like Margot Tenenbaum?

And let's play devil's advocate here: is what she does on GOOP really that different from the recommendations and musings we get from Oprah or Martha Stewart? The difference may be that she was raised in privilege; but because she had advantages doesn't mean she's lazy - there are a lot of celeb spawn out there doing a lot less. We resent her taking the time to instruct us on attaining her perfection, but in a way, don't we want it both ways? It's annoying when stars are mysterious and elusive a la Angelina, yet when someone spills - and obviously she's going to be rich and oblivious and out of touch when she does! - we pillory her.

I guess the main thing, for me, is that apparently she's pretty nice. The few people I know who've had dealings with her (one of them's a teacher of mine who taught her in high school) have all said she was kind, generous, and genuinely interested in non-celebs in a way most stars simply are not. We hear so much about celebrities who are assholes, that should count for something. At the end of the day, can you really fault someone for obliviousness? Well, yes: no one likes to be patronized. But the thing is, she really seems to think she's offering useful information to people, and is hurt and baffled by the backlash. And let's be frank: GOOP is the gift that keeps on giving, and I for one like presents.

Anna: Yes. Sadie, let me say first off that you are a far more generous person on the subject of celebrities - and Gwyneth Paltrow in particular - than I will ever be. The woman has long come off like a phony, as evidenced by this self-satisfied, overly smiley appearance at the Grammys last night:

Okay, the wink at the end to her husband was cute.

Listen, I've had an admittedly strange dislike for Ms. Paltrow and her offscreen image for a long time, from back in the mid '90s when I was an assistant at an entertainment magazine and was assigned to cover numerous parties and events, many of which she attended. These were usually small, "private", Miramax-run functions - this was the era in which Harvey Weinstein was grooming her for A-list status and Oscar glory, the era right before Emma and Shakespeare in Love; when she had just begun dating Brad Pitt and when NY Mag tattooed a large, virtual target on her back by putting her on the cover and deeming her the "Luckiest Girl In The World" - and Gwyneth Paltrow, while "nice", never struck me as particularly authentic or sincere. Maybe it was the stint at Spence, or the fact that her entree into Hollywood came courtesy of her parents, or maybe it was that she was more fabulous than I ever would be, but there was something about her mannerisms both on and off-screen - condecension? snobbery? actually, I'd describe it as "smugness" - that always rubbed me the wrong way.

[On a somewhat-related note, I went into my closet yesterday and dug out a paparazzi picture of her (that's me in the background trying to pretend I am unaware of the camera) from a private screening back in March 1996. I "defaced" it and put it up in my cubicle at the time. Yeah, the bad blood runs deep.]

I disagree with you: Celebrities of her caliber are not always going to be "rich and oblivious and out of touch" when they spill, and Gwyneth Paltrow has had the poor judgment to share her elitist, oblivious and out of touch opinions with the world at a time when no one wants to hear them. And comparing her to Oprah or Martha Stewart is giving her way too much credit; I fear for a world in which women are on a first name basis with Gwyneth Paltrow and sent into fits of screaming, consumptive ecstasy at every mention of her Favorite Things. The difference between Gwyneth Paltrow and Oprah and Martha is that the latter two built their audience - and their audience's trust in them - slowly, surely, and with sincerity. They are also self-made women. This GOOP and gym stuff seems random, arrogant, presumptuous and, at the same time, obvious... exactly what you'd expect a privileged, native New Yorker with an uptown pedigree and a downtown designs to say and do. (Sometimes I think Gwyneth Paltrow is an animated version of the worst parts of the NY Times' "Styles" and "Metro" sections.) But this isn't just about GOOP and designer gyms; it's about the years and years of her saying stupid and/or snotty stuff ("I can't pretend to be someone who makes $25,000 a year" - note to casting directors, this Oscar winner can't hack a Monster's Ball type role!); it's about that friendship with Madonna; it's about the ice queen image she's done little or nothing to counteract; it's about those pictures of her sunning herself on Valentino Garavani's yacht; it's about that rumored indiscretion while she was engaged to Brad Pitt; that "I Am African" advertisement; oh, and did I mention Madonna? It's about the sorts of things that are well-documented and widely reviled, and the sorts of things you hear whispered among friends who know more than you do, and, of course, it's about me.

Because the problem is, even though I didn't like Gwyneth Paltrow when she was the ice queen who never made an effort to thaw out, my hatred of this new iteration makes it clear that I don't like her when she tries something new. I guess the woman can't win.

Related: Fishy's GOOP Might Be A Copycat [DListed]
Gwyneth Paltrow: The Girl Who Fell To Earth [NY Post]
Gwyneth Paltrow To Elle: I'm No Goody Two Shoes [NY Daily News]

[New York, February 6. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[New York, January 31. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Fug The Cover: Gwyneth Paltrow [GoFugYourself]

[West Hollywood, June 25. Image via Splash]

Hadley Freeman was assigned to Kate. After wondering about the postmodern ramifications of discussing the creation of the cult of Kate while wearing Kate, Hadley concludes that she looks damn good, though she soon tired of people coupling compliments of her clothes with "Hey you're wearing Kate Moss for Topshop!"

Helen Pidd was paranoid about donning Madonna for H&M since, as she puts it, "you really need Madonna's lifestyle to work the look... She is an egg-white omelette, chauffeur and no-visible-knickerline kind of woman. I have tea and toast for breakfast, cycle to the office... and will... bypass any fashion trend that necessitates a thong." Though Helen got catcalls while wearing her Madonna for H&M pencil skirt, a veritable doppelganger she was not, which was more the fault of the clothes than of Helen's natural assets.

Hannah Pool quickly sizes up the Lily Allen situation: The clothes are all somewhat supersized and, interestingly, the less a pieces looks like a direct copycat, the stronger it is. Also interesting: Hannah and Lily share a birthday. Unfortunately, Hannah's boyfriend takes one look at her in a yellow gown and compares her to Gwyneth Paltrow, which Hannah describes as a "promising mistake" but we describe as plain-old abuse. After all, Hannah's not only black, she's nice.

Three writers try out the celebrity fashion collections [The Guardian]

He says, "I bumped into a guy who used to give me hell at school. He was a bully who always said I wouldn't make anything of myself. I had great pleasure asking what he was up to now. He wasn't up to much. Then I turned around and said, 'This is my wife Gwyneth.' His face dropped and he looked really embarrassed.

We think it's safe to say that — unless he'd been living under a rock in the Cotswolds for the preceding half-decade — this former schoolmate had probably already heard of Coldplay and Chris Martin's marriage to Gwyneth Paltrow. So we prefer to think that he was more embarrassed for Chris than by him.

Coldplay Star Gets Sweet Revenge On School Bully [Starpulse]

Lest you think that Gwyneth Paltrow's life as a housewife involves cleaning up kid vomit, doing the dishes and quelling tirades or tantrums, the actress will have you know that she has better things to do, i.e. hanging out with her rich and famous friends and their rich and famous spawn.

Gwyneth tells Spanish Vogue: "I have friends like Stella McCartney or Madonna and very often our children get together to play."

Excuse us while we go practice saying "fuck off" in a prim British accent.

Gwyneth Paltrow Reveals Her Kids' Famous Friends [People]

Her Absurdesty continues to annoy us. Backstage at the Oscars the other day, Gwyneth confessed to Oprah sidekick Gayle King that "being a housewife...is amazing".

We got our panties in a major twist over that one. However, in the spirit of generosity and sisterhood that defines Hollywood, we decided to give Gwyneth the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps, we thought, we're being unfair to the mom of two. Perhaps our disdain for the Smug Married is getting in the way of seeing her for who she really is.

Or perhaps not:

house·wife
-noun 1. a married woman who manages her own household, esp. as her principal occupation.

As we were saying...

Gwyenth: Being a Housewife Is 'Amazing' [People]

5 results for: housewife[Dictionary.com]

Okay, so her Zac Posen gown wasn't a total fashion faux-pas (it wasn't really a fashion faux-pas at all, we'll admit, although we weren't loving the sideswept hair). But the woman we love to hate did have one Schadenfreude-worthy moment at the Oscars last night: one of her nipples was apparently clearly visible during her presentation of the cinematography award, which was first reported by our friends over at Defamer.

As luck would have it, however, our DirecTV service went out around the time Gwynnie's exposed areola hit the airwaves (damn Nor'easters!). Anyone have a screen grab?

Liveblogging the Oscars: Here We Go Again [Defamer]

From Contact Music:

GWYNETH PALTROW and JACK PALANCE have been voted the worst ever Best Actor and Actress Oscar winners in a new poll...The decision to award Paltrow the top prize in 1999 for her role in SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE topped the Worst Best Actress category ahead of HALLE BERRY (MONSTER'S BALL), HELEN HUNT (AS GOOD AS IT GETS), JUDI DENCH (Shakespeare In Love) and NICOLE KIDMAN (THE HOURS).

See? It's not just us!!!

Paltrow and Palance Top Worst Oscars Poll[Contact Music]

This brief item in today's New York Observer encapsulates exactly why Gwyneth Paltrow gives us the major shits.

Allow us to break it down for you.

1. She can't help but come across as a holier-than-thou, stuck-up bitch.

Paltrow was seated on a couch, and she had clearly been seated on that couch for quite a while. Her willowy form was embedded in the pillows, her legs perched on a coffee table in front of her. She didn't move a muscle when The Transom entered the room, and she declined to shake its hand when offered.

2. She's always perfectly turned-out.

She wore skin-tight black pants tucked into black patent-leather ankle boots and a form-fitting black blazer. (Later, before presiding over a Damiani International diamond auction benefiting the Lodge—also attended by socialite Tinsley Mortimer—the movie star changed into tights, red pumps, a black skirt and a low-cut black blouse.)

3. She's got a stick up her ass.

When the conversation turned to the Hope Lodge, Ms. Paltrow sat upright, exhibiting her famously impeccable posture. "My dad had cancer—that's the short answer," she said, explaining her support of the 60-bedroom facility, which is scheduled to open this spring on West 32nd Street.

4. She doesn't have the courage of her convictions.

The Transom was curious to hear Ms. Paltrow explain a much-hissed interview that she'd given to a Portuguese newspaper last year, calling the British "much more intelligent and civilized" than Americans. But, surprisingly, she said her remarks had been misconstrued.

5. Even in print, she seems pretentious and snotty. Undeservedly so.

"It's ridiculous that I would somehow say my friends here are uninteresting," she said. "My friends here are incredibly interesting." The words seemed to dribble from her mouth. Ms. Paltrow appeared at pains to waste the least amount of energy talking, regardless of the subject. Perhaps she had developed a distrust of the media.

6. She's got an adorably cute daughter.

Ms. Paltrow's Manhattan bona fides even extend to the next generation. "My daughter [Apple] is currently obsessed with these New York guide books—this one about a rabbit named Miffy, and this other one," she said. "She's constantly quoting New York statistics and things. So, you know, even when I'm not here, New York is always with me."

On the Couch With Gwyneth Paltrow [New York Observer]

Our least-favorite smug, snotty, friend-of-Madonna, Gwyneth Paltrow, is announcing that she's getting back into the movie-making business, meaning we'll soon be forced to see more of her mug on magazine covers and read her pretentious statements in accompanying profiles.

As Gwyneth explains to USA Today:

"I haven't done a real part in a long time. I'm going back to work now," she says. "When I had kids, I just wanted to be with them." But doing one movie a year "makes you more interesting as a person and wife (to Coldplay frontman Chris Martin) and mother."

It also makes you richer, honey, but then again, you need all the help being "interesting" that you can get.

So we were happy to pick up the latest issue of The New Yorker today and see that the magazine had devoted an entire 8 pages to our favorite Aussie.

How dismayed we were, however, when we then read an item in the New York Post reporting that last month, Cate of all people, whored herself out by accepting a flight on a private jet from New Orleans to Paris to attend the Armani couture show...and probably pocketed a tidy sum for her effort. All of a sudden, thsi quote from her New Yorker profile made a lot more sense:

"Celebrity is a byproduct. If that byproduct can be hardnessed to the company's name, fantastic."

Granted, Blanchett was talking about her work as an actress and its effect on the Sydney theater company she and her husband are working for, but still. Just tell us a GAP ad isn't next.

Catwalk Cash [NY Post]