hatch and match

posts about #hatchandmatch more →
Desperate Times...

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

t-yo3
07/24/09

In reply to Desperate Times...
I read the Daily Mail article and I'm confused as to what exactly this is supposed to achieve.

I don't think that baptising illegitimate children is uncommon in the Anglican church (I know plenty of Anglican bastards, including myself, who were baptised), so I don't see how this two-for-one deal does anything new to "effectively giv[e] its blessing to living in sin", as the Daily Mail puts it.

Is it supposed to be an incentive to get people married as in, "Yeah, we'll only baptise your kids if you get married"? Or is it supposed to be an incentive to get people baptising their kids (and thus, in theory, encouraging the growth of the Church) as in, "We'll only marry you if you get your bastard kids baptised"?

I don't think either one applies, because I don't think the Anglican church in the UK is especially hard-line on issues like that. And this is the sort of thing that people could arrange with their priest anyway (Eric Clapton did it, years ago, to cite one famous example), it doesn't need a special programme to make it happen. The whole thing just seems silly and pointless. I don't see the purpose.
Reply

t-yo3 was starred t-yo3 was unstarred

Brigit
07/24/09

In reply to Desperate Times...
My dad married his wife on their daughter's christening. It was rather odd for my sheltered teen perception.
Reply

Brigit was starred Brigit was unstarred

arodriguez.romero
07/24/09

In reply to Desperate Times...
yep I did this. I baptized my daughter and got married in the RC Church at the same time to please my mother. And ... it is one of my bigger regrets in life
Reply

arodriguez.romero was starred

Grim Reaper of the Forest
07/24/09

@arodriguez.romero: Do you regret combining them, or doing them at all?
Reply

arodriguez.romero
07/24/09

@Grim Reaper of the Forest: doing them at all. I was already married by a civil ceremony, but did both the religious ones to please ma. That's a bad reason to do anything
Reply

arodriguez.romero was starred

Skellatrix
07/24/09

In reply to Desperate Times...
And then the courts will offer a "hate and mate" deal where you can get divorced and married in one sitting.
Reply

Skellatrix was starred Skellatrix was unstarred

Maritsa
07/24/09

In reply to Desperate Times...
Maybe if this couple had been married, their son wouldn't be a vampire. Oh sure, you'll look at the picture again and think he's just "missing teeth" because he's a "child." No. He's a day-walking vampire who sucks the blood of the innocent, all because his parents procreated out of wedlock. For shame, hippie mom and nattily-dressed dad. For shame.
Reply

Maritsa was starred Maritsa was unstarred

emilyanne
07/24/09

@Maritsa: ahahahahaha - thank you, that really truly made my morning. Bad bad parents, they will regret it when he eats their other offspring one dark night.
Reply

emilyanne was starred emilyanne was unstarred

Maritsa
07/24/09

@emilyanne: Plus you know they let him get away with everything because he's a Precious First Born.
Reply

Maritsa was starred Maritsa was unstarred

BearDownCBears
07/24/09

@Maritsa: Breastfeeding must have been fun.
Reply

Maritsa promoted this comment BearDownCBears was starred BearDownCBears was unstarred

emilyanne
07/24/09

@Maritsa: oh absolutely, that's why the little girl is cowering. The parents think it's sweet but she's thinking 'nooooo not only am i am an after-thought doomed to being cut out of family photos and ignored for long stretches of my teenage years but now I've got to learn how to defend myself from brother vampire as well, oh the sparkles, the sparkles."
Reply

emilyanne was starred emilyanne was unstarred

Maritsa
07/24/09

@BearDownCBears: Oh, are you kidding? Whorish out-of-wedlock moms don't breastfeed, they go straight to Coke and hot dogs.
Reply

Maritsa was starred Maritsa was unstarred

BearDownCBears
07/24/09

@Maritsa: Wait, so if what you say is true, and my binky was a Ballpark frank lodged in a Fanta can, that means my mom--

Oh. God damn it.
Reply

BearDownCBears was starred BearDownCBears was unstarred

colormeroutine
07/24/09

@Maritsa: but, he's not a ginger. Therefor he must have a soul.
Reply

colormeroutine was starred colormeroutine was unstarred

Maritsa
07/24/09

@colormeroutine: Sigh. *Obviously* his parents died his hair so he could pass. You're so naive - I bet you think Obama was born in the U.S.!
Reply

Maritsa was starred Maritsa was unstarred

hellosunshine
07/24/09

@Maritsa: He can't be a vampire - he's not sparkly.
Reply

hellosunshine was starred hellosunshine was unstarred

BearDownCBears
07/24/09

In reply to Desperate Times...
And for an extra quid you can have you kids' oil changed and have them waxed and buffed.
Reply

BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) promoted this comment BearDownCBears was starred BearDownCBears was unstarred

wtfox?!
07/24/09

In reply to Desperate Times...
Question: is there a coupon, and does it expire? Also, can I only use it once?
Reply

wtfox?! was starred wtfox?! was unstarred

KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins
07/24/09

In reply to Desperate Times...
All right. Who doesn't love a good 2-for-1 deal??

On that note, I'm gonna start advertising my "Hatch, Match, Patch" deal. Only this one includes free marital counseling if need be.
Reply

thegogglesdonothing
07/24/09

In reply to Desperate Times...
Church of England is nothing if not accommodating. Just ask Henry VIII!
Reply

BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) promoted this comment

cate3710
07/24/09

@thegogglesdonothing: Or Eddie Izzard.
Reply

cate3710 was starred cate3710 was unstarred

J.D.Regent
07/24/09

@thegogglesdonothing: amen!
Reply

J.D.Regent was starred J.D.Regent was unstarred

curiousgeorgiana
07/24/09

@cate3710: I think you mean the Psychotic Bastard Religion.
Reply

SunburnedCounsel promoted this comment curiousgeorgiana was starred curiousgeorgiana was unstarred

cuteasabutton
07/24/09

@thegogglesdonothing:
Reply

cuteasabutton was starred cuteasabutton was unstarred

Ailatan
07/24/09

In reply to Desperate Times...
Even the Catholic Church bapitises children of single parents.
This seems like a good plan, and nice way to have a celebration for the whole family.
Reply

Ailatan was starred Ailatan was unstarred

emilyanne
07/24/09

@Ailatan: indeed - the Catholic Church proved more accomodating than The London Times newspaper when my goddaughter was born. They had no problem with baptising her while The Times refused to announce her birth as back then they didn't carry the birth announcements of 'illegitimate children'. Yes, really. This was 15 years ago, I think they do now.
Reply

emilyanne was starred emilyanne was unstarred

curiousgeorgiana
07/24/09

@emilyanne: Did you even have electricity 15 years ago?
Reply

emilyanne promoted this comment curiousgeorgiana was starred curiousgeorgiana was unstarred

Little Green Frog (Wise Latina)
07/24/09

@Ailatan: Yeah, this is not uncommon. I went to a ceremony recently where the bride was baptized, confirmed, had her First Communion, and got married, all at the same Mass. (Their child was already baptized and had already had her First Communion.)
Reply

emilyanne
07/24/09

@curiousgeorgiana: ha i sometimes do wonder you know. Strictly speaking we didn't 30 years ago but that was because the country was on strike rather than because we'd retreated into caves to rediscover fire...maybe.
Reply

emilyanne was starred emilyanne was unstarred

BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
07/24/09

In reply to Desperate Times...
Hatch? Wow, they really do things differently in Europe.
Reply

wtfox?!
07/24/09

@BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs....: Ain't them Frenchies called "frogs" for a reason?
Reply

wtfox?! was starred wtfox?! was unstarred

samethingwedoeverynightpinky
07/24/09

@BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs....: Under socialized medicine, we will all be required to hatch our babies. Obama is building giant nests out of phony birth certificates as we speak.
Reply

alwaysapropos
07/24/09

@samethingwedoeverynightpinky: That's a lie propagated by the liberal media. Under socialized medicine, there will be no babies, because we will all be forced to have abortions. In other words, they will make the nests and then crush all the little human eggs with a sledgehammer. Then, they will make a giant omelet and use it to feed the poor.
Reply

wtfox?! promoted this comment alwaysapropos was starred alwaysapropos was unstarred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

#hatchandmatch

Jezebel

SUBSCRIBE TO Jezebel

Desperate Times...

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment