[London, December 1. Image via Getty]

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM - DECEMBER 01: A pair of giant red shoes protrude from the store front as Harrods opens their Wicked Witch Of The East display on December 1, 2009 in London, England. (Photo by Neil Mockford/Getty Images)

"My god, the humiliation. Kill me now."


"Je suis triste, moi. Tres, tres triste."


"One paw in front of the other. One paw...in front..."


A proud taste...for scarlet and miniver.


"There's no place like home. There's no place like home."


"When a dog's an empty kettle
He should be on his mettle
And yet I'm torn apart."


"Carry me. I do not wish to sully my paw."


"Great. A winged monkey. Again."


"We need a little Christmas...we need a little Christmas...wait, I forgot my mantra."


"Nah...I'm wasted, I can' do it."

"The show must go on!"

[Images via Getty]

• So, Marc Jacobs hater/International Herald Tribune critic Suzy Menkes may have loooved Marc's show, but general MJ fangirl, the NY Times' Cathy Horyn, missed it altogether! Only to then check it out online and write, "[I] can see why some people found it a little slack." Only to then be responded to huffily, via the COMMENTS, on Marc by Marc himself, if you will: "Dear Cathy....I wish you could have been at my show...I deliberately stated I was uninspired this season as I have felt that talking about inspiration is so not the point to making and showing a collection." So yeah, any time you thought about dismissing the entire industry as one big neverending middle school...you were pretty much right. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Oh no! Pink eye rampant at London Fashion Week! Think it's a deliberate conspiracy to sabotage the whole "certificate of health" thing? Yeah, fashion people are not that smart. [Vogue UK]
  
• The latest victim of an eye-infection? Hagyness herself! [The Sun UK]
  
• Aw, Benetton is getting back to its awesome ad roots: Its newest campaign is a promotion for a microlending program in Africa. [Fashion Week Daily]

• Now that the writers strike is over and the Oscars are officially on, the stars are expected to wear super bright and flashy colors. [Reuters]
• L'Oreal, meanwhile, is issuing a special limited edition color in honor of the Oscars: Red Carpet Red. Such creativity! They must've agonized over that one. [MediaPost]
• Kim Kardashian is the new face of Bongo jeans. When the jokes are this easy to make, we feel cheap making them. [Speak for your royal selves! Also...sorta liberal use of the word "face", huh? -Moe][MediaPost]
• "A good blow-dry is an absolute necessity. Let someone else do the work for you!" Harrods scion Camilla Al Fayed. [WWD, 3rd item]
• "I never had aspirations to be a shoe designer, but I just wanted a pair of elegant, animal-friendly shoes. Now I can walk into a store and there's a whole collection." Natalie Portman: And humble, too. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Balloon fashion show = awesome. Not as awesome as the condom fashion show, but. [Chic Report]
• L'Oreal profits are up 29%. All thanks to pricey makeup's growing popularity in countries where the per capita income is still like $3,000! [WSJ]
• Valentine's day Reeboks! [Chic Report]

• Pregnant singer Lily Allen has announced that she has turned down multiple offers to design a maternity line, given that so many of her fans are tween girls and feels that attaching her name to getting knocked up just "wouldn't be suitable." Jaime-Lynn, are you listening? [BBC]
  
• Lily also opened the Harrods sale today, clad in a very non-maternity backless black dress. She told shoppers: "Unfortunately I did come in earlier for a bit of a preview so there's not much left." Oh the rich: They're so funny! [The Mirror]
  
• Wednesday, Giorgio Armani himself took a little stroll through his SoHo Armani Exchange store while customers were busy shopping. It's not difficult to imagine him entering and musing proudly, arms outstretched, "These are my lands." [Page Six]
  
• Estee Lauder, Inc: Friend to farmers! [WSJ]

• The new Fendi baguette bag bears an uncanny resemblance to the Chanel 2.55 bag. Karl Lagerfeld, incidentally, designs both Fendi and Chanel. Coincidence? [Sassybella]
• The Prada Spring 2008 print ads have the same delightfully kooky aesthetic as the Prada Spring 2008 line. [Sassybella]
• Premiere fashion trade paper WWD reports that the biggest new trend for designers is getting into the cell phone market. Seriously, where have they been? Also, why doesn't anyone want to give me a Prada phone? [WWD, sub req'd]
• Former Conde Nast CEO Steve Florio passed away yesterday due to complications from a heart attack. [WWD, sub req'd]
• I plan to spend New Year's Eve at home in my pajamas. But you know what makes sitting at home in pajamas more exciting? Wearing a full face of make-up, a la Dita von Teese. [FabSugar]

• Despite toiling for so many years educating Americans on the merits of croc-skin bags on a certain premium cable TV show, Kim Cattrall says she has seen the PETA light: she's donating all the furs she wore in making the SATC movie to the animal rights organization so they can be donated to homeless people who no one will ever mistake for trendsetting style icons. There's just one flaw in that plan, and we think you might know what it is. [Page Six]
  
• Spanx is getting into the business of making bras. Shudder. [FabSugar]
  
• Gisele is the latest model to think she's a fashion designer. Ms. Bundchen's collection will be in stores in March 2008, but she didn't do it alone (surprise, surprise) — she's partnered with an obscure little duo known as Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana. [Vogue UK]
  
• Gucci will release a limited edition collection in honor of the Beijing Olympics. Wonder if anyone will follow up with a "Genocide Olympics" line? Yeah, probably not. [WWD, sub req'd]

• Why was Colin Farrell wearing Juicy Couture at the screening of his new film (directed by Woody Allen) the other night? "I got it for free. My personal style is quick." [Fashion Week Daily]
• French Vogue's Carine Roitfeld is being honored by amFAR this January for her philanthropic efforts to fight AIDS. We always knew she was a hooker with a heart of gold! [Fashion Week Daily]
• Pastel-colored condom compacts: Oy. [Sassybella]
• Leather jacket experts Belstaff: Costumed not only Steve McQueen way back when, but also Will Smith for I am Legend and Johnny Depp for Sweeney Todd. We will take an excuse to write about dreamy Johnny Depp. [Vogue UK]
• The latest pursuit by Donna Karan's holistic health care organization the Urban Zen Initiative: a celebrity DJ-created mix tape, natch. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Oh no! The writer's strike might mean celebs may not want to attend the big awards shows this winter like the Oscars and the Golden Globes? Which means that designers houses won't be able to tactfully loan out their garb to the pretty stars and get lots of free advertising? Well if that's not a reason to care now about the poor writers, we don't know what is. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Jade Jagger, Katharine Hamnett, the Scissor Sisters, Rihanna and Timbaland are amongst the celebs to join forces in creating yet another celeb-clothing-line-with-a-cause: Fashion Against AIDS. The line will be sold at H&M and 25% of the proceeds actually go to charity. [Vogue UK]
• Target: Sorta doesn't give a shit about Christmas this ear. No special decorations, no special merchandise. Bah Humbug. [WWD, sub req'd]

• For its 140th anniversary issue, Harper's Bazaar styles little kids to look like mini-versions of our favorite (and not) fashion designers. And oh my god, is it awesome. (Please note mini-Olivier Theyskens, at left.) This is 10 times better than that Simpsons fashion spread, which was itself pretty freaking inspired, and may force us to reevaluate our position on the whole magazine, which is a lot to handle right now. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Last night's "Fashion Rocks" event in London featured: Uma Thurman screaming at Johnny Borrell for smoking during Razorlight's set for Burberry, The Gossip's Beth Ditto throwing her shoes into the audience, Lily Allen being introduced as model Lily Cole, Stella McCartney's models playing musical chairs, and Iggy Pop. Pictures later! [Vogue UK]
  
• Karl Lagerfeld has created a limited edition carrying case for Dom Perignon. It holds 6 bottles. At $140,000 it is the most expensive item in the Harrods Christmas catalog. And to all of this we say: Of course he did; of course it does. [Vogue UK]

• Pervert and D-list designer Anand Jon has been slapped with another lawsuit, by one of the 19 women named in the indictment against him for charges of rape, battery, and committing lewd sexual acts on a child. Natalie Pack says she is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of her rape by Jon. We hope he is once again found guilty. [Yahoo]
• Moe's complaints have been heard! The second go-round of Simply Vera Vera Wang for Kohl's clothes will be offered in smaller sizes than the premiere collection. It seems during the debut retailing they expected, er, bigger girls to be buying the Wang garb. Turns out the skinnies like the cheap shit too. [WWD, final item]
• Um, how did we never know before that Nestle (as in makers of the deliciously-heinous chocolate beverage) owns close to 30% of L'Oreal? Yeah, but they're thinking of selling their shares. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Okay, WWD, good move. The headline on their story about Stella McCartney launching an exclusive "green" collection at everyone's favorite Simon Doonan creative-directed department store: "Stella McCartney Comes To Barneys, Naturally." [WWD, sub req'd]
• Rock & Republic CEO Michael Ball is being sued for libel by fashion photographer Markus Klinko. Ugh. [TMZ]
• Check out Hollywould for Target here. [Coutorture]
• i-D magazine has seen a 56% increase in newsstand sales with its November. Why, you might ask? Because it has Kate Moss on its cover with her new bangs. No, seriously. [Sassybella]

• Yup, we're still bitter about not being at London Fashion Week. The Stella McCartney for Adidas show was held at an amusement park at which the models and guests frolicked, playing mini-golf and eating hot dogs. [Vogue UK]
  
• OMG. David Beckham is rumored to be designing the costumes for the Spice Girl Tour. OMG. [Vogue UK]
  
• Snaps to ELLE.com for recognizing that the fashion industry is just like high school. And even bestowing the superlatives to go along with it. And it's even almost bitchy! Just like high school should be! [Elle.com]
  
• At age 80 Eartha Kitt is the face of the new MAC line "Smoke Signals." And at age 80 she has better legs than we ever will too. Purrrrrrfect. [WWD, sub req'd]

• Louis Vuitton is showcasing the works of Moscow artists in its Paris store. Just like Sherri Shepherd (and Tom Friedman) told us, the world is flat. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Paul Smith introduces his first women's fragrance, Paul Smith Rose, which is inspired by the, uh, Sir Paul Smith Rose that his wife had named for him. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Aretha Franklin does PR speak about Sean "Diddy" Combs new fragrance "Unforgivable for Women": "I like [Unforgivable for Women] because it's sexy and refreshing and has a lot of really good elements to it." [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Meanwhile Combs has posted the video advertisement for Unforgivable for Women that was banned from TV on his MySpace page "I feel strongly that this movie needs to be viewed and judged by the public and not executives." Dude - it's an ad for perfume not Do The Right Thing. [Vogue UK]
  
• Want your own Versace-and-Liz-Hurley-esque black safety pin dress? London department store Harrods now says it will whip you up a custom version. For about $22,000 that is. [Sassybella]
  
• Virtual Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen dolls. For reals. [Fashion Week Daily]

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Barneys, Bergdorfs And The Jewish Shopping Vote [Portfolio]