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Lindsay Lohan Facing Jail Time for Lying to Police, but Who Fucking Cares, It's ELECTION NIGHT

Oh, so Lindsay Lohan is facing a year of jail time for falsely telling police she wasn't driving her Porsche at the time of her June car accident? Well WHAT THE FUCK ELSE IS NEW. Is Lohan ever not doing some stupid shit that warrants jail time and then making me hear about it day and night? Does she have to distract…

Harrison Ford Tells Hilarious Broccoli Joke, Disappointingly Does Not Announce Candidacy for President

Harrison Ford is a pretty all-around delightful human being, earring and all. After David Letterman "convinces" him to tell a funny produce joke, Ford obliges and reminds everyone why he was probably the second-best president of the 20th century, just behind Bill Pullman and slightly ahead of Morgan Freeman.

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