It's Time to Move Christmas to January 25th

The end of the year is always an expensive clusterfuck of expense, travel, and joyless obligations made more miserable by the fact that several major holidays occur within six weeks. But all of this pressure and stress could be resolved if we'd only do one thing: move Christmas to January 25th. Hear me out.
Sorry, Everybody: Your Thanksgiving Travels Are Going to Suck
Bad news for those of you traveling over the long weekend. It looks like Mother Nature — THAT BEAUTIFUL BITCH — will be pulling out all of the stops to keep you from your intended destination. For so it is written: When the holidays of Hanukkah and Thanksgiving converge in the year of 2013, there will be snow, there…
Like Your Racist Aunt, Hobby Lobby Loves Crafts, Isn't Wild About Jews
We already know that ric-rac n' hot glue purveyor Hobby Lobby is totally not down with its female employees using birth control because Jesus Is Watching You Fuck. But here's another reason to not buy your crafting supplies there: they're also not wild about Jews. Hobby Lobby: basically, your anti-Semitic,…
One Night Down, Seven To Go
[Washington, D.C., December 1: Liora Bushee, an irrepressibly adorable young lady from Milwaukee, reads an essay during the National Menorah lighting ceremony. I just wish they'd ditch the electric menorah and do things Olympic torch-style. Image via AP.]
Present Post-Mortem: Did You Get The Gifts You Wanted?
Boxing Day sales reportedly attracted a record number of shoppers in the UK — some no doubt returning unwanted shit — which led us to reflect on whether our holiday dreams were fulfilled.
Simon Says
"People HATE gift guides... I was, in point of fact, unable to find one single person who liked them, is prompted to shop by them, looked at them or even lined the cat's litter box with them." -Simon Doonan [Observer]
The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
Today is Cyber Monday — the online version of Black Friday — leading us to wonder if there's any day in November or December without some bullshit holiday benchmark attached to it. After the jump, eight more offenders.
Marc Jacobs: Starting His Show Two Hours Earlier Next Year*
- You may not recall this inconsequential blip on the screen of recent fashion history, but chronically-late designer Marc Jacobs showed up more than two hours late for his September New York fashion show, and a handful of people were annoyed, and so now Marc has apparently thought up a solution: taking an earlier slot…
