I’m “kind of in a weird place right now,” as they say when they are minimizing while fishing for sympathy. As a result, my beauty regimen has recently become both more intricate — perhaps I can slough off this funk with a million products? — and way sloppier. Think pizza boxes piled up next to the bed, but instead of…

My mom used to tell me “beauty is pain” when she’d unsnarl sticks from my hair or held the crimper a little too close to my scalp. She was right, of course, beauty is pain and sometimes sickness or worse.

Welcome to Grim Yelp Reviews, a regular feature where we share people’s worst experiences at the worst places. This week: I feel pretty, I feel oh so—oh, man.

Just like everyone else.

Today we’re going to solve two of life’s great mysteries: what style of pubes do we all wear and what style of pubes do we like on other people? One would assume the answers would be the same and one would be making an ass out of u and me by doing so. Some hairless folks like a full bush on other people! Some ‘70s…

According to reports, presidential candidate and Woman Hillary Clinton tried very, very hard to make sure no one found out about her $600 haircut at New York’s John Barrett Salon. But we did and now that’s a thing we know about her.

I have been obsessed with beauty products since I was a wee child. From Bonnie Bell peel-off nail polish to Wet ‘N’ Wild lipstick to Fetish perfume to absolutely everything at The Body Shop - I loved all of it. From childhood through college, there wasn’t a gimmick I didn’t buy into or a supposedly life-changing…

Allure magazine has rightfully been dragged through the mud over the past few days for a hair tutorial in their August issue called, “You (Yes, You) Can Have An Afro,” which instructs white women on how to achieve an “Afro.” Unfortunately for Allure, the tutorial doesn’t begin and end with, “be black.”

Welcome back to our review of subscription beauty boxes. Which ones are worth it? Which ones are full of junk? Reader Brandi Morgan Kirchgessner guides us through this world of mystery treats. Here’s what she’s received recently.

Vital Stats: I am an almost-29-year-old, I have a pixie cut, and I work out (running, soccer, biking) fairly often. I work as a visual interaction designer for a software consulting company in Pittsburgh, PA. I live in the city and I absolutely love it.

I’m not usually targeted by police and security forces intent on rooting out terrorists. My hair, however? Very suspicious.

Of the many pressing questions raised by the Rachel Dolezal circus that was wrapped in a trainwreck and dipped in a forest fire, one of the things that stands out most for me is: How did she get her hair so on point?

As the resident youth vote on The View, Raven-Symoné—who has yet to be given a full-time spot on the panel but has Whoopi’s support—spends most of her time yammering on somewhat nonsensically about a bevy of topics. It’s her job, and she’s great at it! Unfortunately for Raven, what’s on her head is far more…