As anyone who's been indoctrinated by a curly salon knows, these are some cardinal sins. While the anti-curl straight-haired world may not understand the drama, agony and ecstasy of living with curly hair, the Curly Haired Salon exists to overcome generations of societal suppression, vague racism and willful misunderstanding and let the curl Breathe Free. And of course, they're right: those of us with curls have had mushroom cuts and dealt with years of agony and frizz. Certainly the societal partiality for soulless, tightly-controlled blow-outs and the perceptions that curls denote some kind of wildness and irresponsibility are pernicious and very likely in part based on a racism that people accept unthinkingly. And it's certainly true that these curly salons (there are to my knowledge two main chains plus satellites; I've been to a number of these) give great cut and that their products result in good-looking hair. But these salons, with their strict credos and inviolate rules, their didactic books railing against the injustices of the straight-haired world, and the parade of clients leaving with strangely identical manes of ringlets, are a tyranny all their own.

My first visit to one of these salons was an education in shame. For years, I admitted, I had been using a drying commercial shampoo full — full, I tell you — of wicked chemicals. This, I was told, must stop immediately; I'd have to start using the salon's (expensive) substance that somehow isn't shampoo but should be used like a shampoo. I was also washing my hair far too frequently, stripping it of its natural oils! Then too, I was detangling it with a wide-tooth comb (bad) and, worst of all, employing a towel to dry it, when everyone knows this results in frizz. As we have learned, we should blot the ends of our hair dry with a paper towel or a tee-shirt.

"Have you had a lot of people try to cut your hair like it was straight?" my hairdresser demanded eagerly.
"Um, I guess so," I said, not wanting to disappoint her. She nodded in satisfaction. "They don't understand," she said simply.

I dutifully shelled out for the battery of products, junked my Pantene, went through forests of paper towels. But I chafed at it — I didn't like the distinctively cloying smell of the hair products, easily identifiable in a crowd, or only shampooing once a week. I was also unwilling to rub my scalp with brown sugar, which I'd been told in no uncertain terms I should be doing every seven days. I knew I should be reveling in my newfound follicular independence, and enjoying a sense of solidarity with my curly-haired sisters, and I felt guilty. I wasn't the only one; a hair-washer confessed to me in a whisper that on her own time she often straightened her hair, but that the salon's management preferred that all employees wear it curly. And so, as I left that salon yesterday, it was with a delicious sense of trespass. When I return to my usual salon, will they be able to smell the taint of shampoo, spot the frizz of towel usage? Doubtless. And I will, of course, be plying a tee shirt tomorrow (hey, I like to get a day's mileage out of salon hair!) and surely be the better for it. But knowing that I can break the tyranny is a good feeling.

Earlier: GMA Investigates: Could Straightening Your Hair Change Your Life?

A new survey says that American women spend between $10,000 and $23,000 in their lifetime… on hair removal. Yes ladies, from puberty to death, we deal with getting rid of body hair — by shaving, waxing and creams — for about 53.6 years of our lives. We spend a cumulative amount of 58 days in our lifetime just removing hair. Maybe you're just not one of those women who feels comfortable having hairy pits. Or hairy legs. Or retrobush. But do you ever think about why? Is it same reason some women get plastic surgery? Because they want to be a "better" version of themselves, because they think Mother Nature somehow delivered a less than perfect product? And where did we get that idea?

Cosmetic Surgery Procedures To Exceed 55 Million In 2015, Study Predicts [Science Daily]
Women Spend Up To $23,000 To Remove Hair [UPI]

Earlier: Hairy Pits: Appealing Or Appalling?
Plastic Surgery: Where Do You Draw The Line Between Deformity And Vanity?

This is from 2004, when she was particularly crazy. (This was right around when she had that freak out at Tiffany during ANTM Cycle 4.)

For the first time ever, you could see my face, and my neck, and my back. I still refused to look at myself in the mirror, but I did let him show me the back of my head, which looked lovely, all swingy instead of lank, like the creature that climbs up out of the well in the Japanese horror movie The Ring. 'You look . . .' started Paul. 'Don't tell me I look younger,' I said. 'Yes, you do. You really, really do.'

So here's where I tell you about my own adventures in hair care. I had long hair for years. Long, curly, unruly, heavy and pretty effing damaged hair, to be honest. When you're black and people tell you you have "good" hair and you should "never cut it" you tend to listen to them, even if you suspect otherwise. But I hated the idea that "girls" were "supposed" to have long hair. I dreamed of having hair that didn't drip all over my clothes when wet, that didn't take 2+ hours to blow dry (and all day to air dry); that didn't always look like a shaggy dog. I wanted "grown-up," easy, "sophisticated" hair. I just didn't think I could have it. And then I saw a model with the hair I wanted. It was Noemie Lenoir. And then I saw actress Thandie Newton, with the hair I wanted. And I grew more and more convinced I could let go of the burden of long hair. I got a job at a publishing company where a magazine needed a candidate for a makeover, and that person had to agree to get a haircut. I volunteered, and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. It's been almost 9 years since I've had long hair, and every now and then I'll see long locks and have a pang of yearning. But did chopping off my hair change my life? Definitely. As Ms. Jones writes, "Because I felt like a different person — not the one who never got a single date in high school, not the one whose husband cheated on her — I acted differently, too, chatting to people when normally I would have been too shy." For me, it was all part of becoming an adult, of going after what I wanted and letting go of some childhood baggage. Now when I see women with super long hair on the street, I just want to "liberate" them — using a sharp pair of scissors.

Can A Haircut Change Your Life? Liz Jones Chopped Off Her Waist-Length Locks To Find Out [Daily Mail]

The trouble with last night's party at the Met, if I may speak frankly, is that it was a little like being sucked into a sequined wind tunnel. It started with a little breeziness before the superhero displays—Oh, hey, Narciso and Claire! Hi Liya! Alessandra! Isaac! Diane! Tom!—and then, suddenly, people seemed to be flying around the room....But I thought Anna Wintour looked great in her Chanel dress—fantastical fashion....And though I didn't see Victoria Beckham until later, in pictures, her lace Armani coat dress was definitely a look—Hollywood grandeur with a wink. Zac Posen and his date Kate Mara, in outfits painfully inspired by Superman, get the try-harder award. I'll be interested to know who you all thought looked super—and not.

One could probably read as many metaphors about the transformative power of fashion in the silver-sequined, elaborately padded Chanel gown that Anna Wintour wore to the Costume Institute gala on Monday night as one could in Superman's cape, which happened to be hanging in a gallery down the hall. The floor-length dress had curiously curling crescents attached at the hips and the shoulders, giving Ms. Wintour, the Vogue editor and overseer of the Metropolitan Museum of Art's annual Party of the Year, the fuller-bodied appearance of Botticelli's Venus on her clamshell. She seemed to be broadcasting a message of total earthly control. (Or it could have been that all the Vogue assistants standing along the way to Ms. Wintour's receiving line had been strictly instructed not to speak to anyone, not even to people they recognized, or that so many guests were unusually prompt.) With this year's gala titled "Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy," Ms. Wintour pointed out that she was Storm, the "X-Men" character. "I control the weather," she said.

Blake Lively wore black gloves and a snug black Ralph Lauren gown involving feathers. She said that her favorite superhero was "Spider-Man. Cause he's awesome! He gets to swing around, and, I don't know....I've always seen pictures growing up, being a teenager, and thought, 'I'd love to go to that, a night just to dress up in ball gowns.' And here I am!"...Vogue editor and hostess Anna Wintour was the first to arrive, at 6:33 p.m., wearing a Chanel gown adorned with what appeared to be seahorse tails and accompanied by daughter Bee Shaffer, who required two men, including the formidable Vogue editor at large André Leon Talley, to carry the train of her voluminous blue Nina Ricci dress up the stairs....Designer Phillip Lim came with teenage model-of-the-moment Chanel Iman,..."I've been here last year, and this is her first time here, so she's the newbie...it's a lot of pressure."

It was a silver moment for Julia Roberts, wearing a swoop-neck dress by Giorgio Armani, who underwrote the event. Her co-chairs were Clooney and Anna Wintour, the editor-in-chief of Vogue, who wore a Superwoman creation by Chanel with snakes of padding at shoulders and thighs. Fashion's superheroes included Donatella Versace, who dressed Janet Jackson in a cut-away back dress, Karl Lagerfeld, wearing a sparkling silver jacket while he dressed Kate Bosworth in a multicolored patchwork of vintage Chanel; and Valentino, who was with the model Claudia Schiffer wearing a frilled blue dress from the retired designer's last collection....The cast of the newly revived "Hair" sang "The Age of Aquarius" and "Let the Sun Shine In." David Bowie, sitting with his wife, Iman, looked pained at this new rendition of the counterculture musical.

[George] Clooney joked that he had wanted to dress as Batman, but the costume was already in the exhibition, so he settled for a midnight blue Giorgio Armani tuxedo. Anna Wintour, shimmering in silver cyber-couture, by Karl Lagerfeld at Chanel, declared: "I stopped the rain"....The tennis star Venus Williams and American Vogue's editor-at-large, André Leon Talley, shared a red satin, super-cape for two that was custom-made by Chanel. The actress Scarlett Johansson wore a Dolce & Gabbana gown with a large diamond solitaire which announced her engagement to the actor, Ryan Reynolds. The designer Marc Jacobs confessed to wearing Superman underwear beneath his tuxedo....The "Superheroes" exhibition opens with a mirrored illusion of Clark Kent morphing into Superman and features radical catwalk creations by some of the world's top designers and comic book costumes from Hollywood blockbusters such as Spiderman and Batman.

It's the Oscars of the fashion industry, but if the looks on parade at Monday's Costume Institute gala in New York were anything to go by, that industry is in a sorry state of disarray. Hosted by Vogue editor Anna Wintour (in a Starlight Express moment, perhaps taking the superhero theme somewhat literally) and Giorgio Armani (looking as buff, relaxed and fashionably weathered as ever) the normally ultra-glamorous event fell flat as the proverbial pancake, where the frocks were concerned at least....how about Katie Holmes, who's clearly sharing a sunbed with her new best friend, Victoria Beckham? Someone really ought to have warned her that tomato red and orange is a challenging colour combination and that her razor-sharp bob is more Playmobil nurse than intergalactic heroine. And what of the aforementioned Mrs Beckham? Even by this particular fashion car crash's standards, her dress was disastrous. Nancy Reagan circa 1985, anyone? That cool-as-a-cucumber chignon, meanwhile, isn't kidding anyone. A Hitchcock heroine the artist formerly known as Posh most certainly is not.

Armani dressed Clooney and Roberts. "He asked me very sweetly if I'd be his date," Roberts, wearing a platinum Giorgio Armani Privé gown, said about the designer, who also outfitted other A-list celebrities, including Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Beyoncé Knowles and John Mayer....Clooney was taking it all in stride. "I get to have a drink. It's easy for me," he said. As for the superhero theme, he said he had a favorite when he was a kid: "Well, you know, I loved one that no one ever talks about, the Green Hornet. He was really cool." [Thandie] Newton, in a short dress in black lace with a long cape, said, "I like this because it's one look — and two looks. She made up her own superhero inspiration. "I'm Love Woman," she said. "I wanted to do a bit of skin."

"I think the secret of a good exhibition is when it happens very easily, which is what happened here," Anna Wintour told us of the Metropolitan Museum's Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy installation. We had many more looks in the exhibition than we could use, so [the idea] is obviously, once you start to look, really out there. It was largely Andrew [Bolton, the exhibition curator]'s vision that brought it all together but we've been very fortunate that at the same time," she added. "All these movies are coming out and the Olympics are coming up, so it all sort of came together."

Holy Stars, Batman! It was a celeb-studded affair at the Metropolitan Museum on Monday night as the world's fashion elite and Hollywood heavyweights met on Fifth Ave. to kick off the Costume Institute's latest exhibit, "Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy." And while the night's theme celebrated cat suits and unitards, the red carpet featured far more glam getups: Co-hosts Julia Roberts and George Clooney giggled together as they strolled in wearing Giorgio Armani. "I wore the dress because he made it for me," said Roberts, who gave the designer, who sponsored the evening with Vogue magazine, a hug....Fashion darling Zac Posen took the theme seriously, rocking out Clark Kent-worthy spectacles and revealing his own secret identity. "I worked here as an intern for three years," he said. "I got paid $60 to do the event."

Got a particularly fuzzy 'fro from 1974 you want to share? Send it in. A crooked set of cornrows courtesy of your frazzled, multitasking mom? We want those too. Oh, and ladies: Jheri curls? Please???? I'll show you mine if you show me yours. (Women of all ethnicities are encouraged to send in pictures of any and all Bo Derek-inspired cornrows they got during that cruise to the Caribbean in the fourth grade.) Send your submissions by February 15 to photos@jezebel.com with the phrase "Past Fashion: Black Hairstyles" in the headline, and be sure to include the date and location that the photo was taken (photos can be from any era). Note: We will only use original photos, i.e. no stuff stolen off the internet. And for those who can't play the game this time around, don't worry; we'll have a new set of snaps we'll be looking for in March. And April. And May. (Prom dresses!). You get the picture. (Well, actually, we do, but yeah.)

Earlier: Where Are All The Black Models? Let's Start By Asking Anna Wintour
Glamour Editor To Lady Lawyers: Being Black Is Kinda A Corporate Don't

Let me begin with a deep sigh. I do not know Ashley Baker, and I was not in the room of lawyers when the alleged incident occurred. Do I think the remarks, as reported, were racist? Yes. Do I think that Ashley Baker is racist? I honestly don't know. The facts are black and white, so to speak: She made offensive, bigoted comments; then Glamour sold her down the river. But the rest is all shades of gray. I believe that plenty of well-intentioned people make ignorant, misinformed, undereducated statements all the time. Does that make them racists? I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, "can I touch your hair?" by a new friend. Does that make them racists? I can't tell you how many people have been shocked to discover that I, as a black person, can get a tan. And that I enjoy doing so. That I like my skin to be darker.

Are they racists? This is the world we live in. Hair is political. Some people do actually think that some hairstyles are more "professional" than others. We're a nation with a shameful past, from slavery to Jim Crow, and whether Adrienne Curry can see it or not, we're still dealing with the aftermath and ramifications. The dream is of equality, but the reality is that this nation is built on uneven ground. It's not right, or something we must endure silently. But is calling dreadlocks and/or Afros "political" and "inappropriate" hairstyles the same as cross-burning or unapologetic hatred of black people? Isn't it more like xenophobia or racial illiteracy or insensitivity? I think that what Ashley Baker has is the luxury of never having been "other." She's probably never had to even think about the meaning behind dreadlocks or an Afro, so how could she have an informed opinion? The best possible outcome of all this is that she now knows something she didn't know before.

It's not that I excuse or tolerate this self-centered or majority-centered thinking, it's just that I understand it, and I believe that the cure lies in information and education. Sometimes I think that flat-out, straight-up, old-tymey racism, where someone is capable of blind hatred, has its advantages: You know who the enemy is. These days, there are friends and enemies and frenemies and spies and plants and double-crossers and ringers. We are all part of the problem. Would Beyoncé be the star she is now if her skin were darker, like her Destiny's Child cohorts? What if she had an Afro? What about Halle Berry? As a nation, we like our black people pretty white: Narrow noses, straight hair. Hair is complicated, race is complicated, and we are still living in a world in which many people believe, without seeing that it's wrong, that the closer you are to Caucasian, the better. Ashley Baker's remarks reflect that thinking, and, to be honest, I can't say that I was surprised. We are talking about a fashion and beauty magazine editor here. Not a teacher, lawyer, doctor, social sciences professor. An editor who was representing an elitist publishing company well-known for its nepotism and homogeny. And I feel about her the way I feel about new friends who ask questions about my hair or "nationality": I can only respond with weary patience and resolve to show them the error of their ways.

But that's just my opinion, and a gut reaction. This issue is just a symptom of several larger diseases of the American Psyche; Hair, Skin color, the banning of baggy pants, the Jena 6 and Bill O'Reilly being some other indicators of how far we have to go, how much there is to talk about. Hopefully, Glamour's Cindi Leive will invite Toni Morrison (pictured above!), Angela Davis, and anyone else with an "unprofessional" hairstyle to weigh in during that roundtable.

Earlier: Glamour "Racist" Ashley Baker Calls Us, Sets Nappy Hair Story Straight
Glamourpussy
Glamour "Racist" Freed From Slavery To Fashion
'Glamour' Editor To Lady Lawyers: Being Black Is Kinda A Corporate "Don't"

It's a jet-setty thing, like, 'I'm just back from St. Tropez, I spent a month on a beach, but now I'm easing back into work.

The piece goes on to explain that there are many kinds of "visible roots" approaches one can take, from the "nearly black" styles of Debbie Harry to "a medium root with a heavy highlight — the casually grown-out salon blonde — which is a 'very chic look on a style diva like [Kyle White client and Vogue contributing editor] Lauren Davis'" (Yeah, and every other woman on earth who dyes her hair blonde?) "Slightly grown-out color sends a message of 'I have better things to do. I go to the functions, but I have kid, I have a life." Now yeah, keep in mind it's just a "message," because, we're thinking anyone who actually has a life is not spending time mulling how to dye their hair in a way that sends the message that they don't make it to the colorist every two weeks.

At a time when more than half of American women ages 13 to 69 color their hair, Ms. Kreamer argues that hair dye is the great divide that separates those who are in denial about aging from those who embrace it. Dyed hair looks as artificial as a toupee, she concludes, whereas gray suggests candor. "We have been brainwashed to think hair dye looks good," Ms. Kreamer said.

In this country, we're obsessed with youth — and the "anti-aging" business is flourishing. But no one thinks silver foxes like Anderson Cooper and George Clooney look elderly. As any good women's studies major will tell you, the patriarchy is to blame (as usual). There was a time when our civilization revered gray haired women. They were thought to be older, wiser, and often knew how to use plants and natural elements to cure the sick. The advent of Christianity turned these medicine women into witches and hags, cackling over cauldrons, up to no good.

But maybe it's time for a shift? "If we had more role models like Helen Mirren and Emmylou Harris out there, more women would want gray hair," says Ms. Kreamer. Unfortunately, it would take more than Emmylou Harris to create a culture in which "embracing authenticity," as Ms. Kreamer calls it, is not only acceptable but rewarded with respect and admiration. Obviously it's a woman's prerogative to do as she wishes with her mane, but seeing as how Ms. Kreamer spent an estimated $65,000 on hair coloring over 24 years, doesn't going gray seem particularly sage?

Bottled Blondes, You Too Can Break Free [NYTimes]

• Another day, another well-deserved endorsement check for Paris Hilton. This time it's a footwear line. She's "designing." We want these almost as bad as Ashlee Simpson's Skechers. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Liz Claiborne company is putting sixteen of its subsidiary brand holdings up for sale. It's like the financial structure equivalent of an enema with an Ex-Lax chaser! [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• The little pebbled driving shoe that could! Take money from the rich and give it to other rich people, that is... Tod's just reported a sales jump of 15.7%. [WWD, sub req'd]

• The chief operating officer of the Limited Brands resigned. Maybe the Gap will snap up the hot talent! [WWD, sub req'd]
• A new Bravo reality show knocks off America's Next Top Model. It's hard to improve upon perfection, but we're willing to watch them try. [FabSugar]
• Diane von Furstenberg sounding a little bit Putin-esque at yesterday's CFDA luncheon: "I feel really good about New York fashion. Together we are very powerful and strong and we can do a lot of things!" [Vogue UK]

She's like the Anti-Britney: She can sing well, she's got a nice husband who looks a bit like K-Fed but is completely un-rancid, and while we suspect she may have inhaled the odd substance in her time, she's failed to shave her hair off, go mad and flash her vagina to the world. We're not madly keen on the red lipstick and the curiously orange tinge to her skin, but at least she's come a long way from this:

Probably, when she looks back, even Christina will admit that wasn't really her finest moment.

Which makes it all the more puzzling why Beyonce, unveiling her latest look, appears to be channelling Christina's ill-fated wacky-doodle-do 'do:

We've seen better perms on poodles, dear. And sort your roots out while you're there, why don't you.

Do you have fabulous hair?

Yes?

Oh Good! Because:

"JANE and Redken want to find out what you do to make your hair look great at a special JANE reader dinner in June. If you have an interest in beauty, especially hair care and coloring, fill out this form for a chance to have dinner at the JANE offices. You'll get to meet with JANE beauty editors and Redken representatives, plus take home some fun beauty products."

Isn't that nice? Dinner and freebies? Now that's what I call reader friendly! And I'm sure it's got nothing whatever to do with a marketing ploy, even if the url does read "http://www.demographix.com/surveys/KRMW-BHLT/9MJX228F". It's all about you.

Unless you have shit hair.