This column was so awesome that I've now queued up every Hadley Freeman article on the Guardian's website, for a delightful buffet of future reading. She had me at "Oh, for the love of Mary!". #hadleyfreeman
The one thing my mother likes about her appearance is the fact that she has skinny ankles. Seriously, it's wall-to-wall body hate for her except for her ankles.
Meanwhile I'm stuck with the "Bad Feet" from my father's side: Thick ankles with feet made of tissue paper and fail. The only shoes I'm comfortable in are flat rubber bottoms with loose, structureless fabric holding it too my foot. Basically, shitty ballet flats #hadleyfreeman
I actually thought to myself recently, "Self, why did you not choose to be rich?" And then I banged my head against the wall of my crappy rental apartment. #hadleyfreeman
I think the next things people are going to tell us are fat will be teeth, hair and fingernails...
Cosmo article circa spring 2010 "Hideous and overpriced Cocktail rings under $200 that will minimize those chunky cuticles!!!!" #hadleyfreeman
@missheidilynn: Backs of ears turning men off? We have the solution!
Get under your tongue in sexy shape!
Bottoms of feet not bikini season ready? Tips on page 1fuckingridiculous84 #hadleyfreeman
@missheidilynn: You've no idea how much I fret about my vulgar peasant earlobes. In fact, I think I'm going to go search Etsy for some hand-knitted neon ear socks to try and distract attention from my pendulous appendages. #hadleyfreeman
@femme-bot:
Nipple implants so you can always be standing at attention
Shape and tone your pupils in just 5 minutes a day!
How normal is the size or your large intestine? Use our handy chart to find one more way that your body sucks! #hadleyfreeman
You know, I've already been missing NYC, and then I read this:
"Club Monaco locations in New York City will be serving champagne until 11 p.m., and the SoHo store will have a cupcake truck outside until September 12th."
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Meanwhile I'm stuck with the "Bad Feet" from my father's side: Thick ankles with feet made of tissue paper and fail. The only shoes I'm comfortable in are flat rubber bottoms with loose, structureless fabric holding it too my foot. Basically, shitty ballet flats #hadleyfreeman
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Cosmo article circa spring 2010 "Hideous and overpriced Cocktail rings under $200 that will minimize those chunky cuticles!!!!" #hadleyfreeman
11/09/09
Get under your tongue in sexy shape!
Bottoms of feet not bikini season ready? Tips on page 1fuckingridiculous84 #hadleyfreeman
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/09/09
Nipple implants so you can always be standing at attention
Shape and tone your pupils in just 5 minutes a day!
How normal is the size or your large intestine? Use our handy chart to find one more way that your body sucks! #hadleyfreeman
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/09/09
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Can we declare an early moratorium?? #hadleyfreeman
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"Club Monaco locations in New York City will be serving champagne until 11 p.m., and the SoHo store will have a cupcake truck outside until September 12th."
*sigh*